Wednesday August 13th at 2pm EST

Connecting to

Grief,

Connecting th

rough Grief

Webinar Serie

s:

Thank you to our sponsor

Wednesday August 13th at 2pm EST

Connecting to

Grief,

Connecting th

rough Grief

Webinar Serie

s:

Thank you to our sponsor

A Grief Journey

• When we don’t feel good, we don’t do “good”.– It’s hard to think/act in healthy ways.

• It’s easy to focus on comforting ourselves or coping with instant gratification in mind.– These tend to be unhealthy coping mechanisms.

• Sometimes feeling like “just surviving” is all we can manage.– Focus goes to work, school, family, etc.

What Can We Do?

• Remember: Grief is a journey – not something you just “get over”.– We can Actively Move Forward (AMF) together!

• Have a plan set out.– 4 F’s outline.

• Be realistic. – Things don’t always go as we planned.

• Be flexible. – Self-compassion doesn’t mean letting yourself go or making

excuses. It means understanding and encouraging yourself.

What Can Others Do?

• Be:– Realistic– Flexible – Compassionate– Encouraging– Supportive– Patient– Loving– Independent

• Don’t:– Push too hard– Assume things are

alright– Tell them to get over it– “Lead” them through

their grief journey– Expect them to “get

better”

Feelings

• Can get pushed away or “under the rug” so individuals can deal with fast paced, busy life. – That doesn’t mean these feelings are gone. – Outsiders may see this as individuals getting over

their grief. • Some times people are scared to deal with

them. – Many say they have dark things inside and are afraid

that once they are out they won’t go away or know what to do with them.

Feelings

Why?• Unrecognized/ignored

feelings can cause:– Stress– Health issues– Lack of sleep– Monkey mind

• They can also effect mental health issues.

• Dealing with feelings can actually free us to feel better, do better, and act better.

A few ideas• Need ways to acknowledge

and cope with feelings.– Journal thoughts, memories,

struggles, successes, etc. – Talking to someone – friend,

family member, professional or other trusted individual.

– Create something.

What do you do to process and embrace your feelings?

Food

• Comfort can be given by “controlling” their food intake.– This can be both healthy and unhealthy, depending on

choices made. • It takes time and energy to think of and/or create a

meal. – Grieving individuals may not have the time, energy, or

motivation to do this. • Grief and depressive symptoms can effect food intake. – It can sometimes reach extremes.

Food

Why?• Food is nourishing to our

bodies and minds.– Malnourishment can effect:

• Strength• Motivation• Brain function• Bodily functions

• Balancing out comfort food and healthy food can create a healthier mind set.

A few ideas• Create a healthy relationship

with food:– Cook/bake as a healthy coping

skill.– Plan meals in advance

• Look for ideas on internet, Pinterest, cookbooks, etc.

– Make plans with friends or family. – Ask yourself if you are eating for

hunger or eating emotionally?

What can you do to improve your relationship with food?

Fitness

• Working out takes energy and motivation.– Many know that the more you work out, the more

energy you have, but starting to work out in the first place can be difficult.

– Grief may increase a sedentary life style. • Some may feel “too weak” to work out. – Feelings of physical weakness due to grief is normal.

• Over-exercising can be an issue too. – Some individuals feel the need to “work it out” and

exhaust themselves until they can’t do it anymore.

Fitness

Why?• Exercise has so many benefits:

– Improves brain function.– Helps regulate systems in the

body.– Raises self-esteem.

• Exercise can also help us to process emotional issues.

• It can also turn into a social activity. – Fitness classes, community runs,

being with friends, etc.

A few ideas• Be fit for you:

– Exercise with a friend or family member.

– Think outside the box.– Don’t overdo it – start slowly.

Something is better than nothing.

– Make small healthy choices – stairs instead of the elevator.

What will you do for your fitness today?

Fun

• This can be so easily overlooked. There are so many pressures and expectations in life. – Fun becomes something to schedule, something

that takes money, or is too much “work” to do. • Sometimes individuals may have too much fun

and ignore responsibilities – this is usually a way to ignore difficult times. – Alcohol, recreational drugs and risky behaviors are

sometimes used to “diminish” effects of grief – which is a myth.

Fun

Why?• We can learn from children –

they take grief breaks. – They can’t be constantly

bogged down in grief. Most take a grief break so they can feel like a kid and play.

• Doing something fun can help us to deal with difficult times. – We can be more resilient when

we allow ourselves permission to have fun .

A few ideas• Gage your fun:

– Little things• Watching a great movie• Going out to eat• Creating something

– Bigger things• Try something new• Plan a trip• Change things up

What fun things are you going to plan?

Lay it Out

• Plan ahead: Find a time or times you feel good and plan for the harder times. – During hard times, it’s even more difficult to think of good,

healthy, or fun things. • Write these ideas down.– Make it as simple as possible. Keep this information as

accessible is possible. • Set yourself up for success.– Don’t push things too much, plan things that you know you

can/will do. You can always create a new one in the future.

Questions and Comments

Please remember that if you don’t wish to talk in front of the group, you can use the chat box at the bottom of your screen to

chat to the group or to Kiri personally.

Please join us next month for:

Death on Campus: What to do in the Wake of a Tragedy

Wednesday, September 10th at 2pm EST