ways to use your time to have successful relationship 4
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Ways to use your time to have successful relationship 4
I had a lady raise an issue with me recently on who to blame for people who experiencedelays in getting married; she wanted to find out what could really have been wrong for
such occurrence to happen in the life of a person. She raised up a situation where a lady
right from her birth to the time she became an adult, never had any man showing anyform of interested in her for relationship. I responded my bringing to light my book on
marital delay, reasons, effect and the way out. I told her that some people may actually be
under attack from spiritual forces; that could be as a result of a curse or enchantments placed on the person. I also have heard stories of women who could only get married
after the hold of the evil ones on them got broken; these women were beautiful, yet no
man ever asked them out. One interesting thing about these women (those under a curse)
is that they seem to be blind to this problem until they are advanced in years.
However, though one may blame the power of darkness for the delays people go through;
I have come to discover that over 95% delays are caused by the individual involve. The
reality is, we have been given the responsibility to chart the course of our lives. In my book marital delay, reasons, effect and the way out; I wrote the following- ‘There are
questions that run through my mind as regards who is to blame for the wrong happeningsin the lives of people. One of the reasons for asking these questions stems from observing
singles that have reached marriageable age, but are not married.
I have tried to know whether it is true that the reason many singles do not marry earlyenough is caused solely by external factors such as the devil and the activities of his
kingdom. But alas l have come to the conclusion that whatever happens to a man is
directly or indirectly the product of his choices.
The Lord placed in my heart these words while I was ruminating on the issue, “Theworld is like the sea, our lives like a ship, God is only our INSTRUCTOR, Wherever
the ship berths is our choice, so be RESPONSIBLE.” Until you know that you are
responsible for where you are, you will keep blaming others for where you are, and this
always results in stagnation.
Being single at a late age is majorly the contribution of the individual involved. Man
holds God responsible for everything that happens to him; he calls it destiny/fate.
However, his everyday choices chart the course of his future.’
I heard the story of Lara months ago, she is presently over 40 years, single and still
searching; story have it that at the early stage of her life, she was the babe in town. Shehad hit the club big time, partying and dating the ‘biggest boyz’ around. Some of the men
she dated really wanted to get married to her, but she just wasn’t the type to tie her life
down at that period of time to any man. So she kept changing men: she kept banging menhard who she felt weren’t in her class. She was ‘the babe’- the most desired and wanted.
However, another angel reigned years later that captivated the men that had interested in
her with her youthfulness, beauty and innocence. Her (Lara) tenure as queen was fast
running out because the younger ladies in the neighborhood too were growing up and
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some of them were quite adorable. One after the other, the men who professed their
undying love for her began to move on to the younger babes.
Who is to blame for her delayed experience in getting married? I can hear everyone that
will read this article say; Lara is to blame for her predicament. My question to you
however, is- are you not making the mistake of Lara presently by the way you are usingup your time? I traveled some years back for a friend’s wedding out of Lagos; I took two
of my books (Marital delay and singles your spouse is not in church) along to give as a
gift to anyone that catches my attention. I met a young lady that I decided to give one to;I asked her to choose one of the books- she immediately picked singles your spouse is not
in church. I asked her why she didn’t pick, marital delay, reasons, effect and the way out;
her response was that she can’t go through a delay experience. That’s the mindset of
single until the reality hits some of them.
What you do with your time will tell a lot about the output and outcome of your life; I
believe strongly that the prayer of desperation that people make on marriage issue will
not have been necessary if they had done what they should have done at the appropriatetime. I will like to continue on the topic- ways to use your time to have a successful
relationship-
Spend time to pray- There is a Nigerian adage that says, ‘Whatever good you desire in
life, requires that you pray.’ I tell singles to pray, so that they won’t have to pray later
in life. What I meant is, it’s better to pray that you be delivered from temptation now,than to get into it and start praying for deliverance.
I feel before a single should consider anyone for relationship, he/she should spend time toreally seek the mind of his/her Maker on the issue, it’s terrible to make decisions in life
out of emotions or logical deduction alone. The difference between wisdom and
smartness is- wisdom comes from doing what you have been inspired to do by onesMaker. While been smart has to do with looking at the indices on ground to make vital
decisions of life. Both are good, but one is better- wisdom.
I will encourage every single to learn to pray; please pray about everything and anything
that will enable your relationship succeed. Pray that the will of God be done in your life
as it’s in heaven; pray about the suitors that come speaking sweet words you want to
hear; pray about the kind of marriage you will want to have; pray for your future in-laws; pray, pray, pray.
I heard a true life story years ago; a lady came crying to the pastor of her church with theword thank God, thank God. Her story was that when she was in the university, she had
two notable suitors; however, one was rich and the other poor. One was working and
making lots of cash; the other was a student who was struggling to survive. When sheasked people for counsel, they kept telling her to go for the rich guy. Some of them even
told her that the voice of people is the voice of God. When she prayed about it, she felt
that God will have her give her consent to the poor guy; so she took the decision to do
just that and most people thought she was crazy. Years later after graduating and been
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married to the poor guy, she walked out of the supermarket and saw a mad man ahead of
her. When she look intensely at him (she couldn’t explain why she had the feeling to do
so), she discover to her amazement that he was the rich guy everyone wanted her to getmarried to.
God only knows the future; it’s important that you consult Him before you take steps inserious issues of life such as relationship.
Olufemi Fasanya
08037257479
www.relationship-singles.blogspot.com