Violence to the Violence to the Relationship between Relationship between Mothers and Children: Mothers and Children:

Steps to RecoverySteps to RecoveryProfessor Cathy HumphreysProfessor Cathy Humphreys

University of Melbourne &University of Melbourne &Centre for Excellence in Child and Centre for Excellence in Child and

Family WelfareFamily Welfare

Seminar OverviewSeminar Overview

Brief description of research projectBrief description of research projectDirect impact of domestic violence on Direct impact of domestic violence on childrenchildrenImpact on the relationship between Impact on the relationship between mothers and childrenmothers and childrenUndermining abuse tacticsUndermining abuse tacticsThe consequences of this attackThe consequences of this attackThe concept of ‘Readiness’The concept of ‘Readiness’

Research ProjectResearch Project

An action research projectAn action research project

Based in 10 refuges and 2 NSPCC children’s Based in 10 refuges and 2 NSPCC children’s projectsprojects

2 activity books2 activity books

Focus groups x 8 + reference groupFocus groups x 8 + reference group

Interviews (52 children + 45 women); Interviews (52 children + 45 women);

12 Asian families12 Asian families

Reflection sheets from activities; 15 worker Reflection sheets from activities; 15 worker interviewsinterviews

Impact on childrenImpact on children

102 children in refuges showed rates of 102 children in refuges showed rates of behavioural and emotional disturbance 2.5 behavioural and emotional disturbance 2.5 times the rate of children living without times the rate of children living without violence. violence. (WOLFE et al., 1988)(WOLFE et al., 1988)

Meta analysis of 118 studies showed Meta analysis of 118 studies showed significantly poorer outcomes on 21 significantly poorer outcomes on 21 psychosocial measures for children psychosocial measures for children ‘witnessing’ domestic violence, than those not ‘witnessing’ domestic violence, than those not living with violence living with violence (Kitzmann et al, 2003).(Kitzmann et al, 2003).

A conspiracy of silenceA conspiracy of silence

NCH Action for Children study NCH Action for Children study of 108 mothers experiencing of 108 mothers experiencing domestic violence reported domestic violence reported 17 per cent had talked to their 17 per cent had talked to their children about it children about it (Abrahams, 1994).(Abrahams, 1994).

Two other studies indicate fewer than one third Two other studies indicate fewer than one third of children had talked about the violence and of children had talked about the violence and abuse with their mothers abuse with their mothers (McGee, 2000; Mullender (McGee, 2000; Mullender et al., 2002)et al., 2002)

Impact on relationship between Impact on relationship between mothers and childrenmothers and children

Direct and indirect attack on the relationship Direct and indirect attack on the relationship between mothers and childrenbetween mothers and children

Not to pathologise – many strengthsNot to pathologise – many strengths

Closest person is consistently Closest person is consistently

MumMum

..

Undermining abuse tacticsUndermining abuse tactics

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Direct – encouraging children to insult their Direct – encouraging children to insult their mothersmothers

Indirect – disabling the mother physically so she is Indirect – disabling the mother physically so she is unavailable to her childrenunavailable to her children

Undermining abuse tacticsUndermining abuse tactics

• Disabling the mother physically through violence so Disabling the mother physically through violence so she is unavailable to her children.she is unavailable to her children.

• Disabling the mother mentally through trauma and Disabling the mother mentally through trauma and depression so she is emotionally unavailable.depression so she is emotionally unavailable.

• Criticising and insulting the mother in front of the Criticising and insulting the mother in front of the children which undermines their respect for her.children which undermines their respect for her.

• Women may also be sexually assaulted and Women may also be sexually assaulted and humiliated in front of their childrenhumiliated in front of their children

ConsequencesConsequences

The ‘absent presence’ of the perpetratorThe ‘absent presence’ of the perpetrator

Lack of communication due to the ‘veil of Lack of communication due to the ‘veil of secrecy’secrecy’

Children ‘out of control’ – poor discipline Children ‘out of control’ – poor discipline patterns in the family – too much or too little or patterns in the family – too much or too little or inconsistentinconsistent

Lack of appropriate boundaries with some Lack of appropriate boundaries with some children taking on ‘parenting’ or ‘carer’ roleschildren taking on ‘parenting’ or ‘carer’ roles

A mismatch between children’s needs and their A mismatch between children’s needs and their mother’s needsmother’s needs

Children’s recovery linked to their Children’s recovery linked to their mothersmothers

Resilience in children linked to mother’s mental health and Resilience in children linked to mother’s mental health and recovery (Moore and Pepler, 1998)recovery (Moore and Pepler, 1998)

Children’s perception that their mothers care and support Children’s perception that their mothers care and support them (Goldblatt, 2003).them (Goldblatt, 2003).

Strengthening communication (Humphreys et al 2006)Strengthening communication (Humphreys et al 2006)

..

Activity Packs for Activity Packs for Mothers and childrenMothers and children

Younger children pack and older children Younger children pack and older children packpack

5 themes5 themes

Talking about feelingsTalking about feelings

Building self-esteemBuilding self-esteem

Strengthening the relationship through Strengthening the relationship through exploring similarities and differencesexploring similarities and differences

SafetySafety

Talking about things that matterTalking about things that matter

Impact of the workbooksImpact of the workbooks

Perception of effect of workbooks on Perception of effect of workbooks on relationshiprelationship

Making a positive differenceMaking a positive difference– 78% (n=35) a positive difference; 41% (n=18) 78% (n=35) a positive difference; 41% (n=18)

a major differencea major difference

A good thing to doA good thing to do– 43% very positive; 33% positive43% very positive; 33% positive

Perception of Communication Perception of Communication before using the activitiesbefore using the activities

Perceived Levels of Communication with child

15

29

3

27

16

0

5

10

15

20

25

30

35

PERCEIVED LEVEL OFCOMMUNICATION PRIOR TORESEARCH

PERCEIVED LEVAL OFCOMMUNICATION AFTERCOMPLETING PACKS

Working on the workbooksWorking on the workbooks

Quality timeQuality timeDifficult but strengtheningDifficult but strengtheningFeelings about ‘dad’Feelings about ‘dad’Role of worker supportRole of worker supportChanged perception of talking with Changed perception of talking with childrenchildrenA difference to workersA difference to workers

Working with the ActivitiesWorking with the Activities

Discuss what issues might be raised for Discuss what issues might be raised for mothers, children and workers?mothers, children and workers?

Participation and engagementParticipation and engagement

ReadinessReadiness– Organisational contextOrganisational context– Workers’ skillsWorkers’ skills

Mothers readinessMothers readiness– Talking about the pastTalking about the past– Crisis/timingCrisis/timing– Physical/mental healthPhysical/mental health– Attitude towards relationshipAttitude towards relationship

Children/young peopleChildren/young people

‘‘Readiness’Readiness’

Women need to be in a position Women need to be in a position strengthen the communication with their strengthen the communication with their childrenchildrenAcknowledge the dv and are able to talk Acknowledge the dv and are able to talk about itabout itRecognise the children are affectedRecognise the children are affectedBeyond the immediate trauma/crisisBeyond the immediate trauma/crisisRecognise that children may need to Recognise that children may need to talk/spend time with themtalk/spend time with them

Implications for policy and Implications for policy and practicepractice

Beyond safety and parenting skillsBeyond safety and parenting skillsSeparation of servicesSeparation of servicesTraining needsTraining needsExploring ‘readiness’Exploring ‘readiness’High support needsHigh support needsChild contact issuesChild contact issuesBeyond mother-blamingBeyond mother-blaming

WorkbooksWorkbooks

Available from:Available from:Humphreys, C., Mullender, A., Thiara, R.K. and Humphreys, C., Mullender, A., Thiara, R.K. and Skamballis, A. ( 2006) Skamballis, A. ( 2006) Talking to My Mum: A Picture Talking to My Mum: A Picture Workbook for Workers, Mothers and Children Affected Workbook for Workers, Mothers and Children Affected by Domestic Abuse by Domestic Abuse London, Jessica Kingsley London, Jessica Kingsley PublicationsPublicationsA6A6 Humphreys, C., Mullender, A., Thiara, R.K. and Humphreys, C., Mullender, A., Thiara, R.K. and Skamballis, A. (2006) Skamballis, A. (2006) Talking About Domestic Abuse: A Talking About Domestic Abuse: A Photo Activity Workbook to Develop Communication Photo Activity Workbook to Develop Communication Between Mothers and Young People. Between Mothers and Young People. London, Jessica London, Jessica Kingsley PublicationsKingsley Publications

Footprint Books www.footprint.com.auFootprint Books www.footprint.com.au