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Valley Vows 2013 A Methow Valley wedding resource guide A supplement to the Methow Valley News Free

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Have your picked the Methow Valley as your wedding destination? Then this is the resource guide you need! Located in the pristine North Cascade mountains and the sweeping grass valleys of Eastern Washington, there is no other beauty quite like the Methow. Everything you need for a fabulous wedding is available in the local towns of Mazama, Winthrop, Twisp & Carlton. Whether you are looking for the perfect wedding dress or a caterer to create food your guest will rave about, all the business resources you need to plan your wedding event are here. Valley Vows is an annual publicaiton of the Methow Valley News and comes out in the month of January. Visit our website for information about advertising or if you would like further information about the Methow Valley.

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Page 1: Valley Vows 2013

Valley Vows

2013

A Methow Valley wedding resource guide

A supplement to the Methow Valley News Free

Page 2: Valley Vows 2013

vital enduring creative passionate beautiful shared honored family

connected timeless joyful classic graceful uncommon humorous

worthwhile 30 years warmth collaboration elegant committed

modern unique historic spirited educational uplifting theatrical

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peaceful ritual collective bright meditative bond priceless friendship

love community gift treasured eclectic inspiration great colorful

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It would be difficult to cover the topic of marriage from beginning to end with a few stories and photos, but in this special publication – our annual Valley Vows supple-ment – we’re going to give it our best effort.

We start with some of the basics – why the Methow is such a great spot to have a

wedding not only because of the scenery but also the wealth of event planning talent and facilities here – and then take a look at how some people have creatively stretched the concept of what a wedding looks like. Now that same-sex marriage is legal in Washing-ton state, we explore how the Methow might attract even

more nuptial events.Finally, we asked some

local married folks who have managed to make it work for many decades just how they did it.

We hope Valley Vows will provide inspiration for mar-riage celebrations throughout the coming year.

–DN

We now pronounce ...

CONTRIBUTORSAshley LodatoAnn McCreary

Teri PieperJoanna Smith

Marcy StamperKristin Wall

Laurelle WalshE.A. Weymuller

Contents

Cover photo by E.A. Weymuller

Photo by Kristin Wall

Reasons enoughWhy you should get married in

the Methow ....................................4

Standing on ceremonyWhere wedding traditions come

from .................................................6

The long viewLocal couples talk about making

marriage last ...................................8

New possibilitiesThe Methow quietly welcomes

same-sex marriages .....................10

Location, location, locationThe valley abounds with perfect

spots ..............................................12

Directory of Advertisers....15

Don Nelson, PUBLISHER/EDITOR

Sue Misao, DESIGN

Robin Doggett, ADVERTISING MANAGER

Callie Fink, ADVERTISING

Marilyn Bardin, OFFICE MANAGER

Janet Mehus, OFFICE ASSISTANT

Dana Sphar, AD DESIGN/PRODUCTION

Linda Day, AD DESIGN

Valley Vows

A supplement to the Methow Valley News

101 N. Glover St., P.O. Box 97, Twisp, WA 98856

509.997.7011FAX 509.997.3277

[email protected]

KC and Dan Wheeler’s wedding ceremony at Cub Creek in

Winthrop.

Valley Vows 2013 Page 3

Page 4: Valley Vows 2013

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Page 4 Valley Vows 2013

W hy choose the Methow Valley for a wedding? People have a mul-

titude of reasons, from sen-timental to practical. So, in David Letterman style, here’s a countdown of the top 10 reasons to consider getting married in the Methow.

It’s remote. Tucked away on the east slope of the

North Cascades, the Methow Valley is hours away from al-most everything, which means it’s not easy to get here.

So why is that a good thing for people getting married? To be brutally honest, it means that Crazy Great Aunt Gertrude from Cincinnati and all those second cousins just may not be able to make the journey all the way to the Methow.

“Sometimes they come here to cut down on the guest list,” observed Claudia Napp, a local event planner and caterer. “Their wish is to do it the way they want, and not the way the parents want.”

It’s remote, part 2. If the valley’s remoteness keeps

some people away from the wedding, it also means the people who do come tend to stay longer. Assuming the guest list includes the bride’s and groom’s favorite friends and family members, that’s a good

thing. Weddings in the Methow often become a multi-day cel-ebration, which bonds the wed-ding party and guests together. “I think that’s an attraction, in that it’s a destination,” said ca-terer and event planner Stewart Dietz. “People will carve out a little more time to stay and relax. Most of my clients make a couple days out of it.”

Tara and Peter Filipovic said their wedding in the valley provided a retreat for guests. “My husband and I really wanted a weekend destination wedding where our families and friends could have some time to get to know each other, as opposed to your typical wed-ding, which only lasts a few hours and then everyone goes home or back to their hotel,” said Tara.

There’s lots to do (besides at-tend a wedding ceremony).

With all those wedding guests hanging around for days, there are plenty of ways for the wed-ding party and guests to enter-tain themselves in the Methow Valley. Whether they simply want to relax and enjoy the fresh air and views, or challenge themselves with more daring activities like rock climbing or whitewater rafting, the valley has lots to offer.

Golfing, horseback riding, hiking, fishing, biking and ski-ing are among the easily acces-sible recreation opportunities.

“Most of my clients are en-couraging their guests to come

and enjoy the area. They want to share it, and make an event of it,” Dietz said.

“The people that get mar-ried here are generally really outdoorsy,” said Steve Devin, who owns the Mazama Ranch House and hosts several wed-dings there each summer. “They’re climbers, they’re hik-ers, they love the mountains … and they all want to have a great party for their friends.”

It’s comparatively inexpen-sive. Getting married is usu-

ally not a cheap proposition, but it’s generally easier to hold costs down in the Methow Valley than in a big city. After all, you don’t have to rent a meadow if that’s where you choose to tie the knot.

“Budget is a buzz-word for sure,” said Dietz. While there may be some expense involved in travel to the valley, getting married in a field or on a river bank is cheaper than a country club, even after renting a tent to dine in. Also, Dietz noted, brides and grooms are often quite involved in planning their Methow weddings, cutting down some of those costs.

Many couples visualize getting married in a beautiful, exotic place, said Kathy Borger-son, of Sunflower Catering and Events. They find the Methow Valley can make that vision reality with minimal hassle and expense.

“People are looking for that beautiful experience,”

10Reasons enough:

why to get

married in the

Methow

By Ann McCreary

10

Photo courtesy of Scott DickersonNewlyweds Emily and Kyle Lints floated on the Methow River from ceremony to reception.

9

8

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said Borgerson. “This is just so affordable and accessible to people. The memories are going to be the same as if you flew to Hawaii.”

It’s chill. This is a place for people who don’t necessar-

ily need the glitz. Instead, they are choosing a more mellow and less traditional approach to their wedding.

“People want something that is more personal, more relaxed,” said Borgerson. Tra-ditional weddings “are so fast-paced, organized and scheduled.”

Jaime and Brandon Levy chose the North Cascades Basecamp for their wedding in June 2011. “Everything was so special and genuine, especially the people I dealt with,” Jaime Levy said. The couple chose to rent mountain bikes for the wedding party to ride along the Community Trail to the re-hearsal dinner at Wesola Polana.

Along the lines of non-traditional, consider arriving for the ceremony as one groom did in Mazama – paragliding into a meadow where his bride and the wedding party waited.

The laid-back vibe of the Methow doesn’t mean couples can’t have elegance and tradi-tion, if that’s what they want. “But it’s a different kind of formal. It’s 2013 formal,” Borg-erson said. “They may have the perfect wedding dress, tuxedos and seven bridesmaids, but have casual dinner ware. They’re looking for the elegant wedding that’s going to make memories for a lifetime, but is not so rigid.”

It’s got everything you need. Despite its rural character,

the Methow Valley has every-thing that a good wedding needs: Plenty of lodging for wedding guests, experienced wedding planners and cater-ers, locally grown food, florists, musicians, DJs, photographers, cake makers, even jewelers to make rings.

“People love to be able to use local photographers, pro-duce, meats,” said Borgerson, who uses local products when-ever possible in her catering.

Using locally grown food and serving beer and wine made in the valley helps hold down wedding costs, Dietz noted. “If people can tap into anything lo-

cally it saves them from hauling it over and puts money here in the valley,” she said.

Sun Mountain Lodge, the Methow Valley’s four-star resort, caters the weddings held there, and wedding plan-ner Mary Campbell said other services such as photography, music and flowers are usually provided by local talent. “I put our service providers in the Methow up against anybody,” she said.

It’s got four seasons. The Methow Valley boasts four

distinct seasons, each offering a different backdrop for wed-dings celebrations.

Summer is traditionally the most popular wedding season, and that holds true for the Methow Valley. The warm and colorful summer months lend themselves to outdoor cel-ebrations. “Ninety-nine percent of my weddings are outside,” said Dietz.

Autumn, with clear days, golden aspens and cotton-woods, and cool nights is also a great season for weddings in the valley. In spring the valley conjures up visions of the Alps,

framed by snowcapped moun-tains. Hillsides and meadows burst with color, carpeted with yellow balsamroot, purple lupine, mariposa lilies and scarlet gilia.

Winter offers its own special beauty and opportunities for unique weddings. One couple chose to transport the wedding party by horse-drawn sleigh from Sun Mountain Lodge to a nearby hilltop with a panoramic view of the surrounding snow-covered mountains.

“They had hot chocolate and cider to warm up before the ceremony,” said wedding

planner Campbell. “The bridal sleigh took the bride and her father right to the top of the hill. The bride and brides-maids wore Sorels under their dresses.” After the ceremony the party moved inside the lodge for the reception.

A wedding location for any notion. On the banks

of river; in a flowery meadow; on top of a mountain; astride horses; in a canoe; on a suspen-sion bridge; in a barn; in a hot-air balloon; on skis; on snowshoes; in a sleigh. The possibilities are limited only by imagination.

A personal connection to the valley. Many people who

choose the Methow Valley for their wedding do so because they have a personal connection with this place.

Some people have been coming here for years with their families; others discovered the valley while vacationing or visiting friends. When they think about where to celebrate something as significant as mar-riage, they are lured to the valley by those connections.

“They have a sense of con-nection to the place. I’ve had people who have been guests at weddings. When they got engaged, they wanted to come back, ” Dietz said.

“Even if they don’t have the personal connection to begin with,” Borgerson said, “they come over here and feel the connection, because people are so friendly and easy to work with, They think, ‘Wow, look what I’ve found, and now I’m sharing it with friends and fam-ily.’ People feel so welcomed to the valley.”

It’s beautiful. Really beauti-ful. Just look around. Z

Photo by Kristin WallThere’s no season that’s prohibitive for a Methow Wedding.

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Page 6: Valley Vows 2013

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Page 6 Valley Vows 2013

Standing on ceremony: where wedding traditions come from

raditional American weddings are timeless traditions with incred-

ibly bizarre roots. Today’s weddings still carry over prac-tices from a time when brides were fought over, like Helen of Troy, or traded as agreements between families.

Happily, we’ve evolved as a people and weddings are friendlier affairs, with pastel mints and hearty rounds of the chicken dance. Two people meet, fall in love, and decide to throw a big shindig so they can get matching dishes and a washer/dryer set. The tradi-tional ceremony is still in full swing, with a few improvisa-tions for the modern couple.

What to wear? white, cream, ivory or …

Before 1840, brides wore all of their best clothes (all of them, at the same time) to get mar-ried. The bride would waddle up to her groom in a layered ensemble of fur, silk and velvet

to show off her wealth.The dress was rarely if ever

white, and most commonly black. The floral bouquet pulled double duty – some-thing for the nervous bride to hold, and it hid the faint scent of BO that wafted up through all those layers on a warm spring day.

All that changed with Queen Victoria’s wedding to Prince Albert in 1840. Fashion trendsetter and British mon-arch, Vickie broke all the rules when she glided down the aisle in a pure white satin gown trimmed in lace and orange blossoms. The crowd gasped in amazement and from then on frumpy black dresses layered with furs were tossed aside in favor of the elegant slimming look of white satin.

Today, many brides wrap themselves in ivory or cream, but others like to add a splash of color beyond flowers and accessories. The modern couple may choose a favorite color,

such as lilac, or maybe coral is the best hue to compliment her skin tone.

Maybe it’s a theme wed-ding and everyone is in cos-tume – imagine an entire wedding party dressed up as … well, just about anything.

When it comes to the bridal gown, nearly anything goes – it’s all up to the individual fashion tastes of the happy couple.

Something old, something new,

Something borrowed, something blue

And a sixpence in my shoe

A number of English Victorian customs are tucked neatly into this verse. When worn in combination, these items were believed to shower the newlyweds with good luck. Originally, these were meant purely for the bride’s ensemble, but many couples have chosen to use this phrase as a guide for whole ceremony.

Something old ties the couple to their family and past, and something new represents their new union. Some couples opt to include framed photo-graphs of family marriages through the generations in

their ceremony or reception. Pieces of jewelry passed down through the family, like a watch, brooch, or necklace, are com-monly worn. The “something new” may refer to a new article of clothing or jewelry.

The item borrowed was supposed to be taken from someone who was already a successfully married wife, so as to pass on a bit of her good fortune to the new bride. So, keeping this in mind, whatever item is borrowed, make sure it’s from another happy couple so you can benefit from all that good relationship mojo.

For people in the Victorian ages, the color blue represented faithfulness, loyalty and purity. Anything goes for an item of blue, just make sure it’s not the face of a nervous groom who forgot to breathe.

The sixpence brought the bride and her new groom prosperity. Some brides stick a penny in their shoe, but this can lead to painful blisters. So,

By Joanna Smith

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Page 7: Valley Vows 2013

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tape it onto the heel, or better yet, place a money tree next to the guest book. Consider a message in the invitations, “Please, no gifts. We could really use cash to pay off our college loans and put a down payment on a house.”

Groomsmen and bridesmaids

The wedding party origi-nally was a band of men wielding swords and other sharp pointy weapons. These warriors were friends of the groom and stood ready lest the bride’s family caused any trouble. They aided in the kidnapping of the bride and stood guard next to the groom during the exchange of vows in case her family disapproved of the union. The groomsmen would then keep watch at the bedroom door throughout the night, in case anyone should attack or if the bride made a run for it.

Now that we’ve evolved into a gentler and less creepy society, today’s role of best man has been reduced to throwing the bachelor’s party, keeping the ring safe and

ensuring the groom shows up to the ceremony on time and dressed appropriately. The best man is free to leave after the ceremony and if he’s single, hook up with a pretty bridesmaid instead of stand-ing guard at the honeymoon suite. Thank goodness for progress!

The role of the bridesmaid has always been to help the bride get dressed for the cer-emony. It’s near impossible for one person to wiggle into 20 pounds of satin, lace and bead-ing all by themselves. That’s

right, 20 pounds – the average weight of a wedding dress. And that’s not even counting the girdle, which is impossible to lace up without at least six hands and several knees.

In the superstitious past, the bridesmaids were dressed to look like the bride, to avert attention from evil spirits or jealous ex-lovers who might be prone to throwing rocks and mud at a wedding proces-sion. At some point in history, someone decided that the bridesmaids should match the floral arrangements instead

of the bride. And that is why bridesmaids now wear formal dresses in bright colors with shoes dyed to match.

Today, more and more couples are choosing their best friends, regardless of gender or agility with a sword, to stand in the most honored places as witnesses to their union.

Who gives this woman …The next time you tear up

watching a beaming father walk his little girl down the aisle, just remember that the ac-tion is a tiny, barbaric holdover from the days when daughters were considered property. Young women were used to pay off a debt to a wealthier landowner, or symbolized a sacrificial peace offering to an opposing tribe, or were used to buy the family’s way into a higher social circle.

The practice of fathers walking daughters down the aisle has evolved into a more sentimental meaning, a father acknowledging that his daugh-ter is joining another family. He is passing her well being into the hands of someone else.

For many, times have

changed. More and more couples are opting to have a ceremony that reflects their intimate commitment to each other, supported by a whole host of people. A couple may choose to walk down the aisle together, or meet halfway. Wed-ding officiators can ask, “Who blesses this wedding?” instead of the archaic, “Who gives this woman away?” The whole wedding party responds to the question of blessing with, “We do!” as a communal show of support for the happy couple.

The couple should con-sider the ceremony a reflection of their life together and how they want to remember that one small moment.

A rose by any other name … smells like garlic

In early ceremonies, strong-smelling herbs made up the wedding bouquet: gar-lic scapes, thyme and dill were all believed to ward off evil spirits. Over time, the bouquet evolved to floral blossoms.

Roses are the flower of romance, and remain the predominant choice in wed-ding bouquets. But like any other aspect of the wedding, choose the flowers that best represent who you are as a couple. Maybe it’s a bouquet of wildflowers, or a simple yet elegant gathering of calla lilies. Some couples opt for silk flowers so they can keep the bouquet forever; others prefer real blossoms for the ceremony.

RingsEarly wedding rings were

simple circular bands made from hemp, grasses or string. The ring represented two halves coming together to cre-ate a whole. The circle signified eternal love and devotion, the center hole was the gateway to the future. More permanent wedding bands were later made of leather, followed by ivory until the discovery of metal.

Irish couples of old in-sisted on gold bands, as other materials were believed to be bad luck. Not everyone could afford the precious metal, so gold rings were borrowed from the church for the service and returned immediately after the ceremony.

See TRADITIONS on P. 14

Photo by Teri PieperMen didn’t always wear wedding rings.

Page 8: Valley Vows 2013

Page 8 Valley Vows 2013

“T

The long view: making a marriage lastBy Ashley Lodato

he secret to a long marriage?” an old joke asks. “Don’t get

divorced.”Glib, no doubt, but couples

who follow that basic guideline will find themselves married long past their gold (50th), em-erald (55th), and even diamond (75th) anniversaries. While each unhappy marriage may be unique in its unhappiness, a random sampling of happily long-married Methow couples reveals a surprising number of similarities, making an argu-ment that there are some com-mon key components to long and happy unions.

The first of these seems to be accepting the fact that marriage – like any other truly meaningful endeavor – is not a thorn-free bed of roses.

“It’s not really a secret,” says Winthrop’s Shirley Honey, who has been married to her husband, Ray, for 56 years. “Marriage has its ups and

downs. You enjoy the ups and deal with the downs.” Dave and Dee Schulz of Twisp, married nearly 54 years, echo this conviction. “You just know there are go-ing to be challenges and you deal with them,” says Dave. “You know it’s going to be work; you just work it out. That’s the main ingredient to a solid marriage.”

Eliot Scull of Winthrop and Wenatchee claims that his motto about his 45-year marriage to his wife, Tina, is “always a work in prog-ress.” He laughs, “Our first date was literally a walk in the park, but Tina knows that I never promised her a rose garden.”

Bob Tonseth of Methow – who married Fanny almost 54 years ago – puts it more bluntly: “Anybody who says that their marriage has had absolutely no problems is lying. It’s not all sweetness and light. But you

trust each other and you work out your differences.”

“When you say ‘I do,’” continues Dave Schulz, “you need to stick with that, through sickness and health and all the things that challenge a marriage even more. You need to stick with your vows.”

Tina Scull agrees. “Before you make that big commitment,

you need to anticipate that it’s not always going to be perfect,” she says. The aptly named Honeys are of the same mind. “Divorce was never even an option we considered,” says Shirley. “We made our commitment and knew we would work it out.”

Attitudes changedSocietal attitudes toward

divorce were different half a century ago, too. Art and Grace Nordang say of their wedding vows nearly 65 years ago: “Divorce was so uncommon in our day that

you just didn’t consider it. Things had to be pretty seri-ous for you to get divorced, and if you did divorce your life wasn’t necessarily very good afterwards; there was quite a stigma.”

Divorce these days is, however, an option currently exercised by many. In the United

States, as in many developed countries, nearly 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Broken down by number of marriages, however, the figures are even more sobering, with 41 percent of first marriages failing, 60 percent of second marriages breaking up, and a staggering 73 percent of third marriages ending in divorce.

With the statistical odds against them, how have these lo-cal couples weathered so many years of marital bliss?

It hasn’t all been bliss, most of them agree. But all bliss is not necessarily a good thing, says Rayma Hayes, married to husband, John, for 39 years. “You’ve got to have a little bit of heat if you want passion,” says Rayma. “Sometimes that fire is a good thing.”

“I used to look at couples who seemed so harmonious together, who never seemed to disagree about anything, and I wondered why we couldn’t be like that,” continues Rayma. “Now they’re all divorced. John and I, we used to bicker, but we’ve learned to be more toler-ant of each other and respect our differences.”

Like the Hayeses, the other long-married couples agree that accepting each other’s differ-ences is an essential ingredient to a healthy marriage. “We have both learned to be much more tolerant of each other,” says Eliot Scull. “You have to be willing to bend.”

“You just overlook the little things,” says Shirley Honey. “Those things don’t really mat-ter in the end. No one is perfect.” She laughs, “Although Ray did finally learn to put the cap on the toothpaste,” a trace of humor evident in her tone.

Eliot Scull is adamant that humor is critical to a good mar-riage, which resonates with Bob and Fanny Tonseth, who say “Life needs a little fun.” The Tonseths, whose playful banter with each other hints at a house filled with loving laughter, claim “You should never grow up entirely.” Bob, in particular, seems to subscribe in earnest to this motto, teasing Fanny that he never would have married

Photo courtesy of the HoneysRay and Shirley Honey cut the cake 56 years ago.

Page 9: Valley Vows 2013

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Valley Vows 2013 Page 9

her had he known her father was such a poor shot.

Humor, trust, tolerance, re-spect: the list of key ingredients to successful marriages reads like a list of desirable human character traits. Tina Scull adds, “Patience and understand-ing – you just couldn’t have a strong marriage without those qualities.”

For couples like the Hon-eys, who began dating in high school in the Methow Valley, married shortly after, and moved to Los Angeles where they knew not a soul, the patience and understand-ing necessary for an enduring marriage was something they discovered and created together as they struggled to build a life for themselves.

“We were just two young kids trying to figure it out,” says Shirley Honey. “We didn’t have a dime from anybody; we were both very independent. We knew what it was like to go without. We grew up together and grew closer as we faced all the challenges of establishing ourselves as adults.”

Art Nordang agrees. “Grace and I came from farm and or-chard families at the tail end of the Depression. We never went hungry, but we both knew what it meant to work hard, and we continued to work hard togeth-er as a young married couple. The tough times bonded us. If I had married some spoiled little gal, it never would have lasted.”

Children build bondsMany of the couples speak

of their children knitting their marriage together. Kids aren’t a super glue that fixes a broken relationship, but they are a stabilizing presence that strengthens the loving bonds that already exist.

“We had a great time rais-ing our kids together,” says Shirley Honey. “We agreed on child rearing and it was very rewarding.”

The Tonseths agree: “You get back what you invest in your kids.”

“You establish traditions by raising kids,” says Dave

Schulz, “and these traditions become an important part of your marriage.”

“Raising our kids was one of the most significant things we shared,” agrees Tina Scull. “Eliot and I have built all these memories together, and so many of them involve our children. Doing things with kids

is very bonding.” Eliot adds, “And we’ve survived the kids’ leaving, which is typically a very hard time in a relationship. Our kids went off to college and careers and we’re just these grey-haired people looking at each other. And I still think Tina is pretty cute.”

Touching on one of the topics addressed by many of the couples, Eliot talks about finding the balance between shared interests and healthy independence. “If you’re fun-damentally compatible and you have the ability to grow together,” he says, “that’s the basic foundation. Then it’s OK to have some different needs. You should still enjoy doing things together, but it’s OK to need space, too.”

That’s where the trust comes in again, says Bob Tons-eth. “If you trust your spouse, you don’t worry when you have different interests. You share some things, some you don’t.”

Rayma Hayes concurs. “The secret is marrying some-one who shares your fundamen-tal beliefs and ideals. You can learn to live with everything else.”

“Our goals were always the same,” says Shirley Honey. “Ray and I were different people, but those shared goals helped us create a good life for ourselves.”

Whether it’s children, faith, or a community, many couples agree that outside support is critical to lasting marriages. “Love has so many facets,” says Tina Scull, “and part of sustain-ing your love for each other rests on your circle of friends and on your family. You have all this history with them and they support you. They help tie your marriage together.” Says Art Nordang, “Your community keeps you lined out in the right direction.”

“We’ve prayed together and stayed together,” says Dave Schulz, “and God’s love shining through us has helped keep our marriage strong.” He adds a sentiment echoed by the Honeys – that by trying to be a good example for their children, he and his wife put forth their best selves, which makes them stronger as a couple.

Do these golden anniver-sary couples have any advice

Photo courtesy of the SchulzesDee and Dave Schulz are nearly 54 years past walking down the aisle.

See MARRIAGE on P. 14

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Page 10: Valley Vows 2013

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W hile the right for gays to marry in Washington is a major cultural shift

for the couples themselves, with more than 100 pairs tying the knot in Seattle as soon as it was legal, ripples from the new law have been barely percep-tible among wedding venues and caterers in the Methow.

“We’re in a political bubble here in Seattle, but we’re not quite as sure how comfort-able hosts and vendors will be in the rest of the state,” said wedding and event co-ordinator Kristen Tsiatsios of Seattle-based Jubilee Event Engineers, who got married in the Methow several years ago. “It is important to show that the Methow Valley is also celebrating.”

For same-sex couples who want to marry – for emotional, practical, legal or other reasons – the hard-won right is life-changing, guaranteeing more than 1,200 legal and economic

protections for the couples and their children, among them the ability to visit a spouse in the hospital, to take family leave time to care for an ailing spouse, or to transfer property.

But when it comes to the ceremony and the party, the new law may not really make much of a difference. “I say it’s a non-issue,” said Kathleen Jardin, co-owner of Central Reservations, a service that helps people find lodging and venues for events in the Methow. In fact, Jardin specu-lated that treating one group of customers differently could risk alienating them.

Venues that host wed-dings in the Methow have not altered their marketing or approach, although as soon as the law passed, many received solicitations from groups of-fering to help them capitalize on the new business, said Geof Childs, sales manager at Sun Mountain Lodge.

Sun Mountain’s adver-tising budgets were already set and they typically do not do any special marketing for weddings, said Mary Camp-bell, wedding planner for the Lodge. In fact, most wedding business comes to them, said Campbell. She said they have

put together several propos-als for gay couples planning commitment ceremonies over the years.

Still, said Campbell, “It’s a great market – if you’re trying to get business into the valley, it’s a clientele that hasn’t been tapped into.”

While the ceremony and party may be no different, facilities, caterers and florists want to reassure a couple that they will be comfortable working with them. That could be particularly important in Okanogan County, where vot-ers rejected the referendum by 61 to 39 percent, even though support in the Methow was high, with a 17-point margin of approval (statewide, it was just 6 percentage points).

Loreli Barks, a wedding planner and officiant with Heart 2 Heart Weddings in Tacoma, noted that having an intermediary with vendors can be helpful for couples who feel shy or do not know how their relationship will be received. She has compiled a list of gay-friendly venues and suppliers over the years, and many more have added their names since the law changed.

In larger areas, there are photographers who cater to

The Methow quietly welcomes same-sex marriagesBy Marcy Stamper

Photo by Ashley LodatoFrequent valley visitors Jennifer Albright, left, and Carmen Gutierrez were married at Seattle City Hall on Dec. 9.

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Page 11: Valley Vows 2013

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gay couples, but in the Methow it would be a niche market, said Twisp photographer Teri Pieper, who has photographed numerous weddings and com-mitment ceremonies here over the past several years.

Pieper said she appreci-ates the uniqueness and the universality of weddings. “One of the things I really like – and find touching – about all weddings is the involvement of family and friends in sup-port, saying, ‘We’ll help you stay together,’” said Pieper.

Conducting the ceremony

Outside his job at Sun Mountain, Childs officiates at weddings, one of thousands ordained through the Univer-sal Life Church, which bestows the necessary legal status through its website.

“I would be happy to of-ficiate. I’ve talked to many long-term couples I know and told them, ‘If you want to make a commitment, I would be more than happy to do it,’” said Childs.

Kelly Donoghue of Carl-ton also offers his services as

an officiant. “I think there’s a lot I can bring to the table in terms of thought and emo-tion,” he said. “In my heart, I’m a preacher anyway. And I can do cowboy weddings – I can ride a horse.”

While some of Tsiatsios’ gay clients got married years ago, not caring whether it was legal, now that the law has changed, many same-sex cou-ples who have been together for decades are considering marriage for the first time.

“It really is momentous – it’s history,” she said.

Washington stateWashington is one of nine

states (plus the District of Columbia) where same-sex couples can get married, and one of only three where the states’ voters affirmed that right in a referendum.

On the other hand, while 20 states offer some recogni-tion for domestic partnerships or civil unions for gays, state laws or constitutions in 39 states outlaw same-sex mar-riage or restrict other forms of recognition for same-sex relationships, according to

the American Civil Liberties Union.

In Washington, marriage licenses are issued at the county level, but people do not have to live in the county (or get married in the county) where they obtain the license (nor even be a resident of Washington).

Since the new law went into effect on Dec. 6, Okanogan County has issued 14 marriage

licenses, fewer than half to same-sex couples.

On the other hand, while you do not have to live in Washington to get married, there is a residency require-ment to obtain a divorce in the state.

The new law also has a provision that automatically converts registered domestic partnerships to marriage as of June 30, 2014, unless one mem-

ber of the couple is 62 or older or the couple is in the process of dissolving the partnership. Couples with registered part-nerships can also apply for a marriage license before that date and get married.

In addition to the protec-tions and privileges afforded by marriage in Washington, the status confers legal respon-sibilities, such as liability for a spouse’s debts. In Washington, both spouses or domestic part-ners are legally presumed to be the parents of any children born during their marriage or within a registered domestic partnership, but these parental rights are not respected by all states. In fact, some states and countries allow adoptions by single parents but not by same-sex couples, so people could find it difficult or impossible to adopt if they do get married.

The federal Defense of Marriage Act, which prohibits gay marriage (thereby denying federal benefits such as Social Security and immigration rights to married same-sex couples) is currently being reviewed by the U.S. Supreme Court. Z

Photo by Teri PieperGary Ford and Chris Schneider held their commitment ceremony in the Winthrop Barn.

Page 12: Valley Vows 2013

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Three couples who made it official in “quintessentially Methow” locations kindly shared their stories with the Methow Valley News.

Up in the airSue and John Glenn of

Puyallup chose to tie the knot in the skies above the Methow Valley last March during the 2012 Balloon Roundup.

“I had flown once before in Gallup, N.M., and had been telling the family we were going to get married in a hot air balloon,” Sue explained. “John – bless his heart – went along with me.”

The pair had considered going to a Justice of the Peace, but wanted something more memorable, Sue said. Both

had had traditional church weddings before, and with elderly parents and family members scattered around the country, a private and personal ceremony held strong appeal for them.

John even made up new lyrics to the tune of “Going to the Chapel” for the event:

“Gettin’ in a big balloon and gonna get married,Gettin’ in a big balloon and gonna get married,Gee, I really love you and we’re gonna get married,Married in a big bag of gas!”

After deciding on a bal-loon wedding, they did some online research and found Captain Crystal Stout of Sequim-based Morning Star Balloons, who has officiated five weddings in the balloon “Diamond Sun.”

“There is not one type of couple who looks to get married in a hot air balloon,” Captain Crystal said. “Doing something extraordinary as you commit yourself to the one you love,” is a “wonder-ful way to start your married

life,” she mused.Captain Crystal, who has

been coming to the three-day Winthrop Balloon Roundup for many years, suggested it as a backdrop for Sue and John’s event. She and her husband and first mate, Don, also ar-ranged lodging for the new-lyweds at the Firefly cabin in Mazama, prepared a gourmet breakfast and “delighted us with a delicious wedding cake and champagne,” Sue said.

A front was rolling into the valley on the cold Saturday morning planned for the wed-ding, and most of the dozen balloons at the Roundup opted not to launch.

“When we found out we were only able to ascend to around 30 feet due to weather conditions, we decided we would still get married as long as it was safe,” said John.

The Morning Star crew inflated the turquoise-white-and-black “Diamond Sun” in the parking lot of the Friend-ship Alliance Church, and tethered it to parked vehicles.

John, bundled in regula-tion black fleece, helped Sue, adorned in a floor-length

Location, location, location: take your pick in the Methow

Page 12 Valley Vows 2013

By Laurelle Walsh

T

Photo by E.A. WeymullerSome locations are just distinctively Methow Valley.

Page 13: Valley Vows 2013

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white satin coat and matching faux fur toque, climb into the balloon’s basket.

The tethered balloon rose above the little log church and Sue and John took turns firing the burners to keep it aloft during their vows. A video drone operated by Roswell Test Flight Crew filmed the ceremony that ended with a flourish – a long, purple “Just Married” banner unfurled by the newlyweds from the edge of the basket.

Although they didn’t re-ally get to fly the day of their wedding,” We did fly the next day,” said Sue. “Breathtaking, absolutely breathtaking! There is such a calmness ... when ballooning, going with the breeze, touching the top of a tall pine, the glistening of the snow from up high.”

Neither John nor Sue con-sider themselves particularly adventurous – “we probably won’t be bungee jumping anytime soon,” said John – but since their wedding they have

joined the Olympic Peninsula Balloon Club and begun crew-ing for Morning Star.

The Glenns plan to return to Winthrop in March to cel-ebrate their first anniversary at the 2013 Balloon Roundup.

A wedding with a viewCeleste and Kip Roberts

share an ethic of living lightly on the land, with a handcrafted solar-powered home and sustainable food garden just outside the town of Winthrop. The values of simplicity and care for the environment were also clearly reflected in their June 2006 wedding at Gardner Hut, followed by a reception at the Winthrop Barn.

“We wanted a low-impact, private and small ceremony, while still bringing the com-munity and our friends to a larger party,” Celeste said.

Gardner Hut, one of five rustic, off-grid cabins in the Rendezvous Hut system, “was the perfect site” for the inti-mate ceremony, the Robertses

agree. The hut itself provided just enough comfort for the bride’s preparations, while the remote-yet-accessible location appealed to their sensibilities.

About 30 guests carpooled or rode bikes over U.S. Forest Service roads and walked a short distance to the hut perched at 4,100 feet above the valley, overlooking Virginia Ridge and the North Cascades.

With Mt. Gardner as a backdrop, they exchanged vows of “love, care, concern and respect” beneath an archway of fresh-cut boughs festooned with homegrown flowers, accompanied by gui-tar and voice.

Returning to town for the reception, they and around 120 guests enjoyed a catered dinner and danced late into the evening to local musicians in the Barn.

“Having a great site for the reception was super impor-tant to us,” said Celeste. “We wanted what would work and be fun for everyone.”

A union at the riversThe August 2009 wedding

of Emily and Kyle Lints took place at a location that fit their requirement of “something kind of adventurous, out-doorsy and meaningful for us,” at the confluence of the Methow and Chewuch rivers in Winthrop.

The two had considered the top of a mountain, a ski hut in winter, and on horseback in the Pasayten Wilderness, but they agreed they needed a place “all of our family mem-bers could come to,” said Kyle, including guests with mobility challenges.

They had around 200 guests on their list, some com-ing from the east coast and Alaska, and many friends and family in the Methow Valley whose assistance with prepa-rations helped keep wedding costs down.

Emily was raised in the Methow, while Kyle hails from Homer, Alaska. Together they run a commercial fishing oper-ation based out of Homer, but “were more Methow-based at the time of the wedding,” Emily said.

Having decided on the rivers’ confluence for the ceremony, the next logistical

Valley Vows 2013 Page 13

Photo by Laurelle WalshCaptain Crystal with Sue and John Glenn during the Glenn’s balloon nuptials.

See LOCATION on P. 15

Page 14: Valley Vows 2013

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Page 14 Valley Vows 2013

MARRIAGE from P. 9

TRADITIONS from P. 7For centuries, it was be-

lieved that the vein of love, vena amoris, led directly to the heart from the third finger on the left hand. Although the vena amoris was later dis-proved, people continued the custom of wearing the wed-ding band on the third finger. For a short period during the Elizabethan era the wedding ring was worn on the thumb.

Men did not wear wed-ding rings until 1940s America, when young soldiers were shipped off to World War II, and people wanted a symbol of a lasting relationship and commitment. The ring was a reassuring reminder of the loved one at home waiting for them.

The tradition of trading rings as a sign of commitment continues today. Both men and women exchange rings, and active couples choose to wear their rings in a variety of ways: from a chain around the neck to a tattoo on the vena amoris.

Garter and bouquet tossLong ago and far away,

after the bride and groom said, “I do,” they disappeared immediately into a nearby room and consummated the marriage. Maybe they couldn’t wait. Maybe the in-laws want-ed grandkids ASAP. At any rate, couples were expected to waste no time and get down to the business of procreation. To make the marriage official, there had to be witnesses to the act.

Wedding guests “helped” the couple get started by grab-bing at the bride’s dress and tearing bits of it off. People eventually came to their senses and decided to give the poor newlyweds some well-deserved privacy. The bride would toss her bouquet as a diversion. The groom could simply remove an item of the bride’s undergarments and toss it back to the waiting throngs to prove that he was about to seal the deal.

In time, the happy couple decided to get their revenge on those grabby throngs of people and instead turn these two acts of barbarity into a whimsical tradition of humiliation. All

the desperate single ladies are expected to fight over a small bundle of wilted stems and petals while the single guys get to jump in the air and try to capture a small bit of sweaty elastic.

Tossing riceGuests of yore would

shower the retreating new-lyweds with nuts and grains to insure a bountiful harvest. During years of a poor har-vest, rice was tossed instead. This tradition continues today with rice or birdseed to wish happiness on the newlyweds.

Rice and birdseed can make a slippery path, so other less perilous choices are flower petals, lavender buds, bubbles, confetti … anything that will make a marvelous mess of a perfectly coifed newly wed-ded couple.

Whatever wedding tradi-tions you choose, add your own twist so that the ceremony is truly one that reflects your relationship. Remember, it’s not old English Victorians that are going to look back on your wedding, you are! Z

for newly married couples? “You can’t hold a marriage together on passion and sex alone,” says Eliot Scull. “That continues, believe it or not, but not in the same way. So you also have to be loving, and tolerant, and not too selfish.”

“Don’t expect too much too soon,” caution the Tonseths. “Start with nothing and work your way up. Don’t put your-selves in debt for material pos-sessions; it will put an incredible strain your marriage early on.”

The Nordangs reiterate this, noting that one of their greatest triumphs together as a young married pair was over time sav-ing up enough money to buy a refrigerator.

Rayma Hayes advises, “Hang in there through the tough parts. Let the little things go. Try to get back to the roots – find that person you love.”

“Forgive the little things,” says one sage anonymous contributor. Then, thinking for a moment, he laughs, provid-ing words of wisdom that are perhaps the only true secret to a long marriage: “And then forgive the big things.” Z

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Page 15: Valley Vows 2013

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Valley Vows 2013 Page 15

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• Spring Creek Ranch, www.spring creekwinthrop.com, 996-2495

LOCATION from P. 13challenge was obtaining access for themselves and their guests. Getting people through the Forest Service compound and onto an island would require a bridge, not to mention a shoreline permit. Emily’s father, Ernie Chenel, had wanted to deliver the bride to the ceremony by boat, but then they worried about tipping over downstream of the Barn.

The solution was to access the river via Spring Creek Ranch, a vacation rental property across the river from downtown Winthrop that hosts wed-dings and family reunions year-round.

The wedding party and guests walked a mowed path across a grassy field, directed by Ernie’s Burma Shave-style signs, and over a white-painted wooden bridge built by Kyle and Ernie that spanned Spring Creek.

After exchanging vows at the river’s edge, Kyle and Emily stepped into an eight-foot wooden pram built by Kyle and his father, Paul. The guests showered them with flower petals as the bride and groom pushed off for a 45-minute float – com-plete with chocolate and wine – to the reception at a private home downstream.

The shallows and riffles they negotiated along the way, “were symbolic of mar-riage,” noted Emily, smiling at the memory. Z

Artists, ArtisansBruce Morrison ...................... 6Peligro Metal Studio ............. 5

BakeriesCinnamon Twisp Bakery .... 10Mazama Store ........................ 3Rocking Horse Bakery .......... 7

Banquet/Reception FacilitiesBrown’s Farm ....................... 13 Mazama Country Inn ........... 7North Cascades Basecamp ...10Pipstone Canyon Ranch ......11Spring Creek Ranch ............ 12Sun Mountain Lodge ............ 3Twisp River Pub .................... 4Twisp Valley Grange ............. 9Winthrop Barn Auditorium ....5

CateringRocking Horse Bakery .......... 7Stewart Dietz Catering ......... 9Sunflower Catering .............. 4

ContractorsJA Wright Construction ........ 6

DiningCinnamon Twisp Bakery .... 10Mazama Country Inn ........... 7Mazama Store ........................ 3Rocking Horse Bakery .......... 7Stewart Dietz Catering ......... 9

Dining, cont.Sun Mountain Lodge ............ 3Twisp River Pub .................... 4

Entertainment/MusiciansDJ Noah .................................. 5

Event Planners & Consultants

Fawn Meadow Design ........ 12Methow Wedding.................. 8Stewart Dietz Catering ......... 9Sun Mountain Lodge ............ 3

Flowers & Floral DesignersFawn Meadow Design ........ 12

Gifts & Party SuppliesMethow Conservanc .......... 14

Jewelry & JewelersPeligro Metal Studio ............. 5

Local Goods Cinnamon Twisp Bakery .... 10Rocking Horse Bakery .......... 7Lost River Winery ................. 8Mazama Store ........................ 3Twisp River Pub .................... 4

LodgingBrown’s Farm ....................... 13Central Reservations ........... 16

Lodging, cont.North Cascades Mountain Hostel ................................. 6Spring Creek Ranch ............ 12Sun Mountain Lodge ............ 3Timberline Meadows Lodges ................................ 9Twisp River Suites ................. 2

Non-Profit OrganizationsMethow Arts Alliance ........... 2Methow Conservancy ......... 14

Photographers & Videographers

Celebrations Videography ....11Lifesong Photography .......... 6Reflected Light Photography ..................... 9Weymuller Photography .... 12

RadioKTRT ..................................... 14

RecreationBear Creek Golf Course ........ 6Lost River Winery ................. 8

Rehearsal Dinner FacilitiesMazama Country Inn ........... 7Spring Creek Ranch ............ 12Sun Mountain Lodge ............ 3Twisp River Pub .................... 4

Rehearsal Dinner Facilities, cont.

Twisp River Suites ................. 2Twisp Valley Grange ............. 9

Rental EquipmentAction Rentals ...................... 10All Season’s Events ............. 13J.A. Wright Construction ...... 6Pipestone Canyon Ranch ....11Twisp River Pub .................... 4

Salon and Spa ServicesLast Chance Salon ................. 2

Wedding Cakes & Confections

Mazama Store ........................ 3Rocking Horse Bakery .......... 7

Wedding VenuesBrown’s Farm ....................... 13Chewuch River Property, R. Biel .............................. 14Mazama Country Inn ........... 7North Cascades Basecamp ...10Pipestone Canyon Ranch ....11Spring Creek Ranch ............ 12Sun Mountain Lodge ............ 3Twisp River Suites ................. 2Winthrop Barn Auditorium ....5

WineriesLost River Winery ................ 8

Page 16: Valley Vows 2013