girlMAGAZINE

July/August/September 2014

Larissa & Ian“Sorrowful, yet always re-

joicing.”LOVE BEYOND THE FEELING.

Part 2.

How to Have a Summer That’s

BURSTINGWith Life

The Comparison Game

The G i f t of a Mommy Heartin a Selfish World

...and more!

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Meet

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An Unshakable Girl is one who is not shaken or overcome by the flood of worldliness and sin that is continually surrounding her. She stands out because of her purity and joy and vibrancy in the midst of a culture where darkness and sin is sought after, praised, and exalted.

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Relevant TruthsHow To Have a Summer Bursting With Life

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DevotionalThe Comparison Game

InterviewIan and Larissa: “Sorrowful Yet Always Rejoicing” - Part 2.

Culture and LifeThe Gift of a Mommy Heart in a Selfish World

Daily DisciplinesMore Than Watchmen Wait for the Morning

RED BORDERSContents:

14Fashion & ModestyWear THIS not That!

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A Summer Bursting With Life!

How to have

as beautiful as you’ve always imagined you could look. It’s the same thing; every-thing in this world that you chase after, hoping it will fulfill you will only leave you looking for more joy, more excitement, more contentment somewhere else. A dif-ferent house, job, clothes, friends, make-up, hairdo, car, etc., etc. You hope that somehow, at last, something new is going to be the perfect fit for that hole in your spirit; suddenly something will click and everything will magically be as perfect as you’ve dreamed.Or...We simply will never find contentment in seeking these things, because God has created all things to be dissatisfying apart from seeking Him. He has caused spending time with Him to be the sweet-est, most satisfying thing that we could ever do, and it perfectly fills every longing within us.So, instead of seeking happiness in your summer fun this year...why don’t you try something new (since you already know that doesn’t work)? Below are a few sug-gestions on how you can get the most out of your summer, and cause it to be fruitful and without regret - bursting with life!

A vacation, like every other earthly “pleasure” can never satisfy, and will only leave us longing for more - no matter

how long we have “off”.

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Have you ever noticed that vacations never seem long enough? Sure, you

enjoy yourself in the moment, but as the week draws to a close, you begin to find yourself wishing that it could last longer...even if only just a few days more. But have you ever noticed that when you DO have those extra few days, you still find yourself dissatisfied, and longing for more time off? We are never satisfied with a week...or even a few months. Why is that? It is because we are chasing after the feeling of satisfaction and contentment and enjoyment in our vacation itself. But a vacation, like every other earthly “pleasure” can never satisfy, and will only leave us longing for more - no matter how long we have “off”. Ever notice that you’re never satisfied with one nice shirt for very long? As soon as the “new shirt” excitement wears off, you’re off shopping for more, hoping that something new -

something different - will make you look

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Don’t sleep in. I know this may not sound like the best tip you’ve ever heard to help you enjoy your summer...but just give it a chance. It’s the best way to make the most of your days. When you sleep in, it always seems like it just sucks the life right out of your day. Now...what time do you want to get up? Ok...now set your alarm an hour (or an hour and a half, if it takes you a long time to wake up) before you would normally get up. The most helpful hint I can give you on being able to actually get out of bed in-stead of hitting the snooze 20 times is: GET OUT OF BED THE FIRST TIME! Yep. No “snooze”. Just force yourself to get out of bed the minute your hear your alarm. You may be a little groggy at first and have trouble see-ing straight...but it’ll wear off after the first 5 minutes or so, and you’ll feel perfectly fine - even without coffee. It can be done; I’ve done it myself.

Spend the first hour of your day with God. This is why you’re getting up earlier. No more “trying to fit it in somewhere”. Nope. Spending time talking with Jesus is going to be the first thing on your agenda this sum-mer - not sunbathing, not swimming, not hanging out with your friends. You are going to give God the “first-fruits” of your day. And the best thing

is, that when you spend that time with Je-sus, HE makes the rest of your day SO much more fruitful and full of joy than when you set out to try to do your own thing and fit God in later. And have you ever noticed that it never really seems to fit conveniently into your day to spend time with Jesus? That is why you’re going to put Him first.

Walk and pray. Whether you do it first thing in the morning or later on in the day, try to get out to walk and pray. Most of my sweet-est times with the Lord have been while I’m outside walking and talking with Je-sus. Even if you live in a town, I’ve been all over the US and Canada, and almost every town I’ve been in has had neat little walk-ing paths or peaceful neighborhoods that I’ve been able to pray in. An added bonus is that you probably won’t fall asleep while trying to pray. Also, you’ll get to see God’s handiwork, which He so often speaks through, all around you. Oh...and when you go walking (whether meaning to pray or not), ditch your earbuds. Listen to the birds singing, and the breeze blowing through the trees. You’ll find your heart just naturally begin to rejoice in the Lord, and instead of being stuck in the world your music creates for your mind, you’ll be able to praise the Lord in the real world. Try it!

Make a point of praying for your family and friends.

Pray for your parents. Pray for your brothers, your sisters, your friends, and even...your enemies.

Spending time talking with Jesus is going to be the first thing on your

agenda this summer - not sunbathing, not swimming, not hanging out with

your friends.

New Testament...and all of them contain the story of Jesus’ life on earth. They are filled with Jesus’ own words, and it is an amazing thing to be able to read the very words of the Creator of the Universe! Start with Matthew, and see how far you can get throughout the summer. Try reading a chapter a day. You might find that it is so in-teresting and filled with truth that you may want to read more than that in a day! Read-ing Jesus’ words for yourself will change your life. But remember to not only read them, but to pray for God’s strength so you can obey them too.

Try to tell at least one person about Jesus every week. It doesn’t matter if it’s face-to-face, or online, or on the phone...but pray for, and be looking for at least one opportunity to share about Jesus, and what He has done in your life, to someone each week. It’s not only a good way to talk to someone about salvation, but it’s also is a very effective way to keep your own faith built up.

Go out and talk about Jesus with everyone you meet. Yep, you heard right. Grab a friend or a parent or sibling and hit the streets of your own town (weekends are best) and talk to everyone you meet about Jesus. One easy and effective way to do this is to take along a stack of good tracts with you (we use the Four Spiritual Laws tracts, but there are a few other gospel-centered ones out there - just make sure they actu-ally go through the gospel and how to be

You may have heard the saying that, “An idle mind is the devil's playground”.

There's a lot of truth to that.

Ask God to show you specific things to pray for them so you can see specific an-swers. As you pray for them, God will fill your heart with a fresh love for them as well.

Make a goal of memorizing scripture. Start with a verse. Once you’ve got it down, try memorizing a verse a week. Or even try memorizing a chapter of the Bible over the summer! It’s hard work for your brain, but persevere. Every bit of scripture you hide in your heart will be a help and

blessing to you in the future, as well as right now, and will help you to live in a way that is pleasing to God. (It will also give you a very effective weapon to combat the devil’s lies.) “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:11. Memorizing scripture is a very construc-tive use of time...and something you can do whenever you have extra time on your hands - wherever you are! You may have heard the saying that, “An idle mind is the devil’s playground”. There’s a lot of truth to that. This is why it is so important to satu-rate your mind with God’s Word.

Read through the gospels. The gospels are Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John - the first 4 books of the

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saved). I have done this many times. It is a real ice-breaker to be able to hand something to someone walking down the street and say, “Would you like one of these? It’s about Jesus!” Sometimes they’ll take it...sometimes they won’t. But it’s planting seeds that God can work with. And you may find that many people actually are up for standing there and talking about Jesus with you. Some might just want to argue with you...but if you just determine not to get in an argu-ment, and just make sure to share the gospel in what you say, it’s at least some-thing God can use. It may be a little scary at first, but as you do it, God will give you boldness, and will begin to speak through you...and you will find it to be one of the most exciting things you can actually do; sharing the gospel with lost souls!

Fast from the TV. This is not going to be overly popular either...but for the few who take the challenge, you will be amazed at the difference in your life over the sum-mer. I suggest turning it off completely, but you could also try limiting your time watching TV through the summer to a couple of hours a week. It’s so easy to wake up and just turn on the TV without even thinking, or to default to it when you don’t know what else to do. But TV is so full of sinfulness these days (yes, even the most “innocent” programs are full of hogwash), that it’s like filling our minds with sewage. When you turn it off, it will be like a breath of fresh air for your

spirit; we just weren’t made to sit in front of such wickedness and violence day after day! I recommend you get an ac-countability partner if you can...because it won’t be easy - especially if you’re addicted. But it helps to have someone remind you of your commitment and to hold you accountable. I know when I stand before Jesus, I am never going to wish I had watched more TV, or finished such-and-such season, or been up to date with the most popular programs. You will find your days are full of so much more life and joy! You will actually be able to think and pray. And it is so much easier to hear God’s voice when you don’t have all of the subtle (or not so subtle) world-views of the media clouding your mind.

Fill your time with useful things! It’s not really going to help your summer any if you fast from the TV, but then just sit around doing nothing all

“Fast from the TV. I know when I stand before Jesus, I am never going to wish I had watched more TV.”

Fill what used to be your TV time with use-ful things. The things that will make your summer the most fruitful are things that

are also a blessing to others.

there...or even just bring them flowers or crafts or sing with them...there are so many possibilities to bring joy and the love of Je-sus to them. (You’ll want to arrange things with the people in charge before-hand.) ~Have Bible studies with your friends. Get together to just read the Bible and talk about it. What a novel concept!

These are just a few things to get you start-ed...and I’m sure God will give you even more amazing ideas if you ask Him to! I’d love to print some of your testimonies of things God gave you to do this summer...so as you start to put these things into prac-tice, and as you see good fruit in your life from them, send me your stories of how God caused your summer to be bursting with life...and if I get enough, I will print them in a future magazine! (See the back cover for my email address.)

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day, wishing you were watching TV. Fill what used to be your “TV time” with useful things. The things that will cause your summer to be most filled with life are the things that are also a blessing to others. Try things like these: ~Ask your parents how you can help them...and then, do what they suggest (with a joyful attitude, know-ing that you are blessing the Lord)! ~Come up with creative ways to bless at least one person every day. ~Write encouraging letters to your friends, family, extended family,

neighbors, pastor, etc. Share things God has been showing you, scriptures, things they have done that have really blessed you, etc. ~Read missionary biographies and/or the books they (the mission-aries themselves) wrote. People like Mary Slessor, Jackie Pullinger, Amy Carmichael, Rosalind Goforth, etc., are all such amazing stories to read because you get to see what God can do with someone who is truly surren-dered to Him. Also, a modern-day girl who is giving her life to serve others is Katie Davis, and you can find her book called “Kisses From Katie” online or in most Christian book-stores. ~Visit nursing homes to read the Bible to the people who live

A picture from Larissa and Ian’s wedding.

Sorrowful, Yet Always Rejoicing!

A picture from Larissa and Ian’s wedding.

Sorrowful, Yet Always Rejoicing!Me: In the difficult time of Ian’s acci-

dent, what were some of the things that God did to help you through it?

Larissa: I was still a relatively new Christian, so I didn’t have that much

scripture in my heart yet, or years of God’s faithfulness to look back on. I was just kind of going into it without knowing what the Bible said about suffering or what the Bible said about joy. I just remember that God cared for us so much through people; we had people helping us all the time. And got to see God in how many people loved us, and visited him regularly...and just the little things. For instance, I asked my professors if I could not come to classes on Fridays, so I could have an extra day at the hospital with Ian - it was like an hour and a half to get back and forth to the hospital where he was from where we lived. I also had a class that I really couldn’t accomplish without this certain software, and so, someone bought me a laptop so I could work from the hospital, and put the software on it that I need-ed. Just those things that God used; He definitely used people to show His care for me. And I definitely spent a lot of time in His Word in the Psalms...and I

“�The highest meaning and the most ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and His church on display.” ~John Piper

was just soaking up so much about God because I was so young in the knowl-edge of Him, and I was thrown into a situation that was horrible by any hu-man standards, so I was kind of forced to really quickly comprehend really big questions about God, like why things like that happen, or what our response to suffering as Christians should be. God really kept us, and so much of that was Ian’s parents. Without really knowing it, they were shepherding me through that situation, and they opened up their home to me. I stayed in Ian’s old room when he was in the hospital, and they just understood all the big questions I’d be having about God at that time, and they were such an example of respond-ing to things in faith, even though there are really horrible days, and it doesn’t mean you’re always thinking right things about God, but you have this deep knowledge that God is sovereign, and Jesus died for us, and we’re going to heaven. And on some days, that’s the only thing that even makes sense, even though nothing here makes sense. So having them in my life was a huge gift. And without God placing them there, I don’t know that I would have respond-ed in the same way that I did. I was just

2 Corinthians 6:10

Part Two

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An interview with Larissa Murphy, continued from Part One.

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surrounded by incredible teachers, and good doctrine.

Me: Were you tempted to be angry with God?

Larissa: It wasn’t like I had a pattern of being angry with God. There were certain days that were harder

than normal, and I would spend more time question-ing. But I think there is a difference between asking God questions and charging Him with things. I think the times I was most angry with God were when other people, whose lives we were really close to were moving on. There was a summer when like 4 of our best friends and siblings were get-ting married, and those times were really hard. I think that is when I felt most angry that God was allowing Ian to still be so sick, and that God wasn’t removing the suffering in the way that I wanted him to. But overall, it is miraculous how God has kept a tender heart in me toward him, because I would be a mess without the Holy Spirit.

Me: How did you make the decision to go ahead with getting married?

Larissa: Once Ian started talking, he talked to his dad about it all. Essentially it was a terrifying deci-

sion, but we didn’t want to not be together, and we didn’t want to stay in this “limbo” of dating, because I couldn’t help him with any of his care...and there were very clear boundaries of what I could and couldn’t do as just his girlfriend. While it was terrifying marry-ing someone who was disabled, I was more scared of not having Ian in my life. One of the best things his dad said to us was, “You make this decision in faith, and you know in the wisdom that God has given you at the time that in 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, if you look back on your decision, you just have to know you made it in faith.” So, it was a giant, giant step of faith. I mean, I think for anybody to enter into marriage, it’s a really big decision. But we went for it, and here we are 4 years later.

Me: Because this magazine is for girls, I’m going to ask you just briefly if you can give us a picture into

your wedding day...and I know that it may have been different in a lot of ways than what many girls dream about...

Larissa: There was an element of timidity because you realize, “After this day, there’s no second

guessing - this is forever.” But it was also the favorite day of my life because all of our loved and favorite people were all in one place. Ian was SO happy. We

were just looking over the manuscript of our book tonight because we had to send it back to the publisher, but that is one of the things that we wrote about a lot - just how happy Ian was. And we were surrounded by people who were supporting us, and praying for us, and encouraging us, and asking us hard ques-tions...and so, it just felt like a giant party. And it was a day that we could make so that it fit Ian.....so, we didn’t stand -

everybody had chairs - the bridal party had chairs - we didn’t go wandering around taking a bunch of pictures...we made it all...made for Ian, and that in itself made it really fun. I don’t remember a ton of de-tails from our wedding, but I just remember laughing pretty much the whole time. It was wonderful.

Me: Can you share just a little picture of what life looks like for you now, and what God has

taught you about what marriage and love actually means?

Larissa: Life right now is: I work full time, and Ian has a caregiver. So we have our evenings together.

Right now we live with his family. We moved in to his mom’s house to write our book. We stay in what we coined “the suite”, which was actually a room that our church built for Ian so he could come home from the hospital, because his parents’ house wasn’t accessible. And as far as marriage goes, the first year is so, so hard...and I think it just gets better each year. There’s just so much that happens inside of marriage that is so clearly God’s design. Just how we can enter into each-other’s lives fully and have that commu-nication and that partnership and that comfort of knowing, “This person will be here with me until they die,” is so wonderful. And Ian is such a nicer husband

than I deserve. He is so encouraging. And there are good days for brain injuries, and bad days for brain injuries where he’s not able to communicate a lot, and I still have to keep pressing into the Lord and making my rela-tionship with the Lord the center of my life. And knowing that, on days when marriage feels really hard, we’ll be ok, because God is stronger and God is bigger than our mar-riage, and God created our marriage for us. It’s amazing how God allows us to keep loving another person that sins...and we sin. It’s just amazing.

Me: What is your hope and prayer for your mar-riage? What do you hope others see through

it? What do you hope is blessing the Lord through it?

Larissa: One of my friends said that we should want to bring God more glory together than

we do apart, and that is ridiculously true of our marriage. Because, being married to Ian pulls out so much ugliness in my heart that needs to be defined. So that’s just a gift itself. My hope for our marriage is that we grow more like Christ through our relationship. And also that other people - espe-cially those who don’t know God - can see some-thing about His character in our relationship that is irresistible to them. Not because of who we are, but because of who God is...and that they can see something that can only be explained as God in our marriage. I’d love for God to save people through looking at marriages he allows us to have and keep.

Me: What would you say is important vs. un-important in marriage...and what has being

married taught you?

Larissa: The most important thing is that Ian leads me and helps me spiritually. So, with Ian

being so limited in his abilities, obviously a lot of the tasks fall on me - like being able to earn an income; those responsibilities fall on me. But what’s important is that Ian constantly turns me back to who God is and who we are in rela-tion to Him. And also, Ian makes me laugh more than anybody, and humor is such a gift - I think it is such a cool way that we get to see God, because God created humor. Just that getting to enjoy

someone else is so important. We can just do noth-ing together and enjoy each-other. Having that core relationship with each-other that is focused on the Lord, spending time with the Lord together, praying together...just being able to relate to each-other on a spiritual level - it’s critical. We could be totally healthy, and if we didn’t know the Lord, our marriage would be so much more exhausting than it is now.

Me: Are there any particular lessons you’ve learned that could be helpful either to single

girls or even anything you’d like to encourage young married couples in?

Larissa: When you’re thinking about marriage, it’s important to find someone who loves

God more than they love their girlfriend...or their spouse. I think also for young women who don’t know if they’ll be married...just remember that

God is before us and behind us and He won’t ever leave us. And, in everything I’ve walked through, I know that even if I didn’t have the

marriage, I would have the Lord. If Ian had died, I would have the Lord, and be ok. And we have so much hope because of Ian, knowing that God has made a way for us, and a way for us to see heaven someday...and that’s so incredible. That’s our hope, whether married, or single, or a widow; it’s the greatest gift.

“The most important thing is that Ian leads me and helps me spiritually.....that he constantly turns me back

to who God is and who we are in relation to Him.”

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Larissa and Ian’s wedding day.

Me: My last question is, how would you encourage someone who is going through difficult things who

maybe doesn’t have a strong relationship with the Lord, but is trying to hold on? What have you found to be important aspects of keeping your relationship with the Lord strong?

Larissa: I think, most importantly, just crying out to Jesus and asking Him to help you. It’s easy to feel like, because

we have so many emotions as women, that we have to be feeling a certain way about God or thinking a certain way about Him...and He’s so much bigger than that. He will hold us through really, really difficult circumstances. Someone said once, “When we feel like we are hanging by a thread, He has a white-knuckle grip on us.” I would encourage young women to be looking into God’s Word to guide them...and not our culture, or their emotions, but to look to see what God has for us, and all of the wonderful promises He has in His Word for us. And I would just encourage them that it IS worth it! There’s a treasure in knowing God and be-ing in a relationship with God...and He gives us everything we need to sustain us, through prosperity and through adversity. And it’ll be worth it! It will be so worth it when we get to heaven and get to see, ‘Oh! That’s why everything happened that way!’ It’ll all make sense.

Ian (overhearing our conversation): “Preach it sister!”

Larissa and her bridesmaids.

Questions to PonderWhat does marriage mean? What is the purpose of it? Is it for our own happiness?

How has God shown Himself faithful in your difficulties and trials?

Have you ever been angry with God? Is it ever ok to be angry with our King who cares so much about every part of our lives? (Hint: No.) Apologize to the Lord if you have. Study the Bible to learn more about His good character.

Are there any ways you’ve realized you’ve been dream-ing about the future that are just selfishness? Ask God to remove the selfishness from your heart and to make you a selfless daughter/sister/girlfriend/wife.

Is the thing that matters most to you in a boyfriend/future husband that they would love Jesus more than you?

When you go through difficulties, do you look to God and His Word to guide you...or do you let your emo-tions lead your heart and thoughts?

Check out Larissa and Ian’s website at: prayforian.com AND keep an eye out for their new book, “Eight Twenty Eight: When Love Didn’t Give Up”,

which should be hitting shelves August 28, 2014! Also, read our April/May/June 2014 magazine for Part 1 of this interview, if you haven’t already.

Wear THISNOT that!

Lets face it....sometimes it’s just downright difficult for a girl to know what she should and shouldn’t wear - even with the best intentions, the current trends are so strong that we can be pulled in without even real-izing it! It can be especially difficult in the summertime, when you’re hot, and sorely tempted to let those hemlines sneak a little too high. This is just a little section to give you some helpful suggestions on dressing

both modestly and femininely.

No-No Item:

Better Item:

Best Item:

Short Shorts

Longer Shorts

Skirt

These barely-there shorts don’t even have enough fabric to merit their price tags. Sure, you see them on the beach or around town, but that doesn’t mean they’re something you should keep in your own wardrobe. They show off your tanned legs and summer “curves” all right, but those are things you should be saving for your husband...not just giving them out for free to every guy who happens to walk by! I’m not saying you have to be wrapped up like a mummy all the way down to your ankles...but consider the following options...and then, just chuck those short shorts before you have time to re-think. You’ll be better off without them.

You don’t have to wear shorts that are past your knees to be modest, but a good rule of thumb is for the bottom of the leg to be about where the tops of your fingers fall when you hold your arms to your sides. There’s really no set length that is best, because every girl is different; some have longer legs, some have short legs, and some have longer arms. But instead of trying to figure out what you can “get away with”, try thinking about how you can help protect the hearts of those around you, and what would be a blessing to Jesus.

Once again we come to the skirt. It wins out as the best choice because it’s just such a wonderful combination of feminine beauty and modesty, without being “frumpy” or “dull” at all. You can go for bright, summery colors, or something flowy and lacy - there’s a skirt for every taste. And as long as you take care about the length (right around the knee is a good guideline), you don’t have to worry about showing off too much. I think skirts bring out the gentle sweetness that’s in a girl’s heart, just like a carefully picked picture frame makes a pretty paint-ing look even more beautiful!

Devotion

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Devotion

al“The Comparison Game”

By Esther Rennick

When a baby girl is born, God smiles! He created humans

and made them in His image (Genesis 1:26). When God completed

creation, He saw what He made and it was very good (Genesis 1:31).

Every baby is uniquely formed by God in their mother’s womb. “For

You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb.

I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame

was not hidden from You when I was made in secret, and skillfully

wrought in the depths of the earth;” (Psalms 139:13-15)

When sin infiltrated the world, God’s beautiful created hu-

mans became contaminated. Adam and Eve’s nature transformed

into a sinful nature, and it was a contamination that would continue

on in every baby born thereafter in the human race. Sweet beauti-

ful innocent baby girls very early in their

little lives have temper tantrums. The

tentacles of sin attached to their nature

quickly start destroying the beautiful im-

age of God in their lives. During the very

first day of a baby’s life, we see character

traits that are sinful and not the beauti-

ful image of who God is and intended

humans to be.

As young girls and women of

God, we become quickly aware of our

faults and sins. The Bible clearly defines

our sin, and God wants to sanctify us and make us into His image.

This is change God does want in our lives. However, we can fall

into the trap of playing “The Comparison Game”. We can become

so focused on ourselves and what we don’t like about ourselves

that change in our lives becomes no longer about wanting God to

forgive us and transform us. Instead, we want to change ourselves

because we play “The Comparison Game”.

“The Comparison Game” is a game no person can win. The

central purpose of the game is based on not liking who we are in an

unhealthy manner and wanting changes that are almost impossible.

We start playing the game by comparing ourselves to other girls and

women in areas that God never intended us to compare. The real

reason that we play the game is the sin of pride.

When we compare ourselves to others and wish we could

be different, the root reason of it is pride because:

1) We are saying that God did not do a good enough job, 2) we think

we can do better, and 3) because we are thinking about ourselves!

When we think too much about our looks or personal-

ity or any of those kind of things, we are thinking about ourselves.

God wants us to get our eyes off of ourselves and to spend our time

thinking about others, thinking about Him, and serving Him. Every

second that we spend thinking about ourselves is another second

that we have wasted; another second that we were not being a

blessing to God’s heart. God wants us to not think about ourselves

either in a bad or even a good way - He wants to get us to the point

in our lives where we don’t think about ourselves at all! This is some-

thing that we are all still working on; however, God does change our

hearts, bit by bit, when we ask.

Many years ago, I got caught up in playing this game. Be-

ing an introvert and detailed oriented person, I really struggled that

I was not as bubbly or outgoing as other women. I thought that

there was a particular personality that all Christian women should

conform to and that the gifts and abilities God had given me were

just inferior to what I thought was the ultimate Christian woman. I

also did not like how I looked. I was not as outwardly beautiful as

my other friends. My hair fuzzed too much. I was too short. I was

not as thin. For several nights, I complained to God about how He

made me. I played “The Comparison Game”

that could never be won.

“Why is Susan so bubbly and smiley

and carefree when I am more serious and

detailed oriented? People don’t enjoy being

around me as much as Susan. Why did you

make me like this God? I don’t like who I

am.”

“Why is my hair so fuzzy when it rains?

God, why did you make me like this when

Mary has such beautiful straight shiny hair?”

“Why am I so short? God, I really do not

like being this short! Why can’t I be tall and elegant like Jessica?”

“The Comparison Game” has endless categories to choose

from. What categories of the game do you play?

God’s answer to my complaining was shocking to me. It

was the first time He strongly reprimanded me. God’s words were

loud and clear, “Who are you to question how I made you?” (Job 38-

42)

There are many areas in our lives that God does want to

change. He wants to forgive us of our sins and to sanctify our lives

and change us into His image. He wants us to stop sinning because

it hurts us.

However, there are areas of our lives that He particularly

formed and moulded as He chose for a purpose. In these areas of

our lives, He does not appreciate our complaining about how He

made us. We are all individually created different and for a specific

purpose. We all have different roles to play.

Instead of playing “The Comparison Game”, we need to

appreciate and accept how God created us. God is so much wiser

than we are and knows why He created us the way He did. Don’t

complain! Celebrate that you were fearfully and wonderfully made

to serve God in the way He created you to be...and then, ask Him

how you can start serving Him today - each day! Every day! Get your

eyes off of yourself, and start looking for ways to bless God and oth-

ers with the things that He has given you.

Esther Rennick is a grown-up Unshakable Girl, whose faith has been tested over the course of many years, and who has come forth as gold.

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I don’t know if any of you will ever have to face the intense battle of getting pregnant and having to choose whether you want to keep your baby or not - I hope none of you who read this ever do. But just in case...and

for the sake of saving even one little life, I have written this article. I have also written it so that you can help any of your friends who may end up in this situation, because abortion is so common today, and most of us will know at least one person who ends up facing this choice - probably more than one. This is just a little bit of my own story...because I want you to really understand that there is always hope, no matter how impossible things may seem. God is a God of hope, and He will turn any heartache that is offered to Him into beauty. This is also an encouragement for any girl who, deep inside, wants to be a mommy, even though the culture will say that it’s not important, or not a “real job”, or tells you that you’re so smart that you should “do something with your gifts”, or that you need to make something of yourself first, or enjoy your life, or that kids are just a burden.....etc. It’s a lie. All of it. You don’t even have to be a mommy to have a mommy heart; there are a few courageous young women throughout history who were never married, and yet have become true mothers for many orphans and

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The G i f tof aMommy HeartIn a

Selfish World

neglected children. And for those who are on their way to being mommies soon, but who haven’t been expe-riencing the “fairytale” pregnancy....be encouraged - you’re not alone, and it’s all worth it. And for those who are moms already, young or older, and have been struggling because they’ve been flooded with the lies of the culture...there’s still hope for you too...and I pray that this article will be a blessing and reminder to you of the beautiful thing that God created when He made us to be Mommies. But regardless of where you are in life...whether you’re 10 or 20, or 45...cultivating a Mommy’s heart can only be a blessing to you.

I stared at the changing numbers on the computer screen with horror. One second it would add one to the end of the number...the next second it would add two. Never ending, the numbers continued to count up with

sickening rapidity. Tears started to pool in my eyes, and I quickly closed the screen...but not before I took note of one number - “Abortions That Have Happened While You’ve Been on This Site” - over 90, in just such a short

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Mommy HeartIn a Selfish World

R

period of time. And since 1970 worldwide? Over 1,300,000,000. That number is almost bigger than anybody knows how to read these days. And yet...numbers can be so empty to us. Our minds can’t really even grasp what a billion IS...let alone, a billion babies being murdered. But that “90-and-counting” brought it closer to home. More than one baby every single second is being mercilessly killed in the most horrific ways. And why? Because the devil hates - HATES - babies...because each new baby is a promise of someone who COULD be drawn to Jesus and live with Him in Heaven forever. And because babies are filled with the sweetest, most pure innocence...and it’s no surprise that the devil HATES innocence...and that’s why he works night and day from the time a baby is conceived to either snuff out that pure light of innocence and hope, or to corrupt them as soon as possible with the flood of sinful pas-sions he has so carefully pre-pared to tantalize their senses. And yet...it is also more than that; the devil works in the hearts of the mothers as well...because, unlike China, where mothers are forced to have abortions by the government, here in North America we choose. We, the ones who SHOULD be the most fiercely protective of the little lives growing within us, are the very ones who condemn them to death row. And that is the most heartbreaking realization of all. You could almost feel a little better about that growing number of abortions worldwide if it was all forced by a wicked government. But it is us. And yes, there are real struggles...and very, very deep hurt and pain that many go through...and the devil plays with our emotions, making everything seem SO big and impossible...mak-ing it seem like our lives are over if we choose to keep this baby. But it’s not a choice. A mommy is not something you can choose to be or choose not to be. You are a mommy as soon as you get pregnant. You are THE mommy of the baby inside of you. It’s a real baby, and you’re the real mom-my. It’s not some choose-your-own-adventure

book where you can change your mind half way through and go back a few pages to pick a new path. It’s real life. And as soon as there is a little life growing inside of you, you were meant to be it’s mommy. That’s how God made it to be. What gives us the right to say that one child is worthy of life and one child isn’t? The father? Our jobs? Our reputation? Money? What have we become?? What has happened to our love - our compas-sion - our morals? We have become a society of heartless, selfish people...who care more about ourselves than sacrificing any comfort we hold so

dear or facing a little difficul-ty to raise a child. Ok. Now that I’ve said what I needed to say in that regard (the cold, hard truth)...I will tell you what I’ve experienced...and how I can understand those who feel hopeless in a way that I never could have before. My ears perked up as I heard my little daughter babbling as she woke up

from her nap. I rushed into her room...because all I wanted to do was hold her and hug her and kiss her soft cheeks and tell her, “I love you,” after all the heart-breaking things I had just seen and read. As I snuggled her, and gave her eskimo kisses, my mind drifted back to the days before she had been born... My husband and I had been praying for God to direct the timing of when we had our first child for a while, because, with lives that are as busy as ours, and being on tour for a good half of the year, there were plenty of logistical details to think about and pray about. Then, at the begin-ning of our 3 month tour...God decided it was time. Potentially a little sooner than we would have preferred...but God doesn’t make mistakes. I spent the first 3 months of my pregnancy tour-ing across Canada...and can I just say that morn-ing sickness and the smell of burgers with fried onions filling a van don’t really go together too well? But God was very gracious, and strength-ened me for those 3 months. However, things got much harder once we got home in December,

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“Why am I feeling all of these things, Lord? I just want to be able to enjoy this preg-nancy and to be excited to be a mom. What is wrong

with me?” He said, “This isn’t about you.”

believe it or not. The morning sickness was start-ing to wane...but then came the intense emo-tional and spiritual battles that lasted the entire remainder of my pregnancy. I was overwhelmed with the sense of not being able to be a good mom. I was terrified of having a baby. Actually terrified. I spent hours crying nearly every day, because I wanted to be able to go back and not be pregnant any more...but I was...and I knew that I was committed...and I was scared. I also struggled with intense loneliness - despite having a dear husband and family all around me continu-ally, overwhelming fears of the future that often caused me to just curl up in bed unable to move, and a very difficult lack of any good feelings

whatsoever. Women would come up to me con-tinually and tell me how much they LOVED being pregnant. I could only give a weak smile and nod. People asked me, “Are you excited yet?” And I had to get creative at giving answers...because I didn’t want to lie...but there wasn’t even an ounce of excitement in me - not even up to the day I went into labor. I thought, “There must be something wrong with me, because everyone who talks to me was just SO excited to be a mommy. Do I not even have to capacity to love children??” This was me for 9 months. And I really loved the Lord. I was married to an excellent husband. God had chosen the timing for us, and we’d had a whole year of marriage before our baby was conceived. The circumstances really should have been ideal; you’d think my heart would have been rejoicing! But after a few months of being so overwhelmed by the oppression and the feeling that it was just an impossible situation and that I could never be a mom...God spoke to my heart, when I cried out and asked, “Why am I feeling all of these things, Lord? I just want to be able to enjoy this pregnan-cy and to be excited to be a mom. What is wrong

with me?” He said, “This isn’t about you. I’ve been letting you feel these things so you can under-stand what girls in difficult situations are going through, and have mercy in a way you could not have had otherwise.” He led me to 2 Corinthians 1:3-7, which says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patient-ly endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.” From that day on, my heart was filled with rejoicing, because if I went through everything for even just one life to be saved...it was totally worth it. (It’s amazing how God can simply show us His perspective of things, and all of our distress just melts away.) And maybe it was just for you. And if it was, I just want you to know that I understand your fears and how very, very real they are. I want you to know that it’s ok to cry. I want you to know that, no matter what has happened to get you into this place, Jesus is waiting to hold you close, and to comfort you, and to wipe away every tear. He is so glad for you to be able to lay your weary head on His shoulder, and to let your tears soak through his robe. He wants to lift up your head, and look into your eyes, and tell you, “You are not alone. I love you. And I will never leave you or forsake you...even if everyone else does.” And I have seen Him do the impossible. I know that He will give you the strength to do what you cannot do on your own. He can and will redeem every situation that is given to Him. And if you’ve made mistakes and sinned...just come before Him in hu-mility and confess your sins and repent of them...and He will wash you clean and give you a new life and a new heart. For, as He said to the woman who had been caught in adultery, “....Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”

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(John 8:11) And covering up one sin (whether yours or someone else’s) with another (abortion), is not a fix. And though your feelings are very real, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are TRUE. The devil is truly a master at manipulating our feelings; I have seen it over and over again in my own life...and then, in the midst of my distress, when I pray and ask God to show me the truth, and when I rebuke the devil with Jesus’ authority...God will remove the distress from a situation that I felt was impossible or so over-whelming that I couldn’t even move or think...and He will fill my heart with the truth...and with hope. Hope is one of those things that you can hold onto with all your strength, in the midst of the emotions and the trials...because, “...hope does not put us to shame.” (Romans 5:5) God sees all your struggles...and He cares about every bit. He will provide for you, and uphold you, and He will help you to be a mommy to your child, whether you are ready for it or not. And chances are, you’re scared. Really scared. And really NOT ready. But you don’t have to be. God gives all mommies who want it the gift of a mommy heart, whether or not it comes naturally to you. I felt like the least likely candidate of all; I only had one brother who was just 2 years younger than me, I never liked babysitting, I struggle with selfishness every day, I am an introverted personality...and I didn’t even know if I could change diapers, let alone pouring love out onto a little person 24/7. But I asked God to change my heart. I asked Him to fill me with HIS love for this little life. I asked Him to teach me how to be a good mommy. And you know what? Even though the struggles lasted up ‘till the very day I gave birth...the moment Hope was born, God filled my heart with such a sweet and deep love for her that hasn’t gone away - it has only grown. And as I held her close to me in those first minutes after her birth, I cried because of the greatness of the love God poured into me...and I said to my husband, “I don’t think it is going to

be hard to love her at all!” Don’t give up or give in to the pressure you feel inside...the devil will try to discourage you in every way he can, but it is so worth it to be a mommy! And it is the kind of beauty and sweetness that you really can’t even expect or understand until you’ve experienced looking into your child’s eyes for the first time, or you’ve had their tiny hand close around your finger - so small that it can’t even fit all the way

around it, or you’ve felt their little heart beating, or seen their perfect little lips, or heard their little gurgles...and you know what? Even their crying becomes like a sweet song to your heart, because it is full of innocence and complete dependency on you to take care of their needs...and that is exactly what God created us to do! Your little person NEEDS

you...and that is such an amazing reality. God has perfectly created mommies and babies for each-other. And I discovered that God made being a mommy to be the most natural thing in the world - I found that I knew all that I needed to know, and having a daughter just seemed to be the most natural thing in the world. In fact, as soon as she was born, we wondered how we had ever lived without her! God caused our “transition” from be-ing “just us” to “parents” almost not even notice-able. And changing diapers was never a problem like I had feared it would be. Yes, being a mommy is giving up our lives daily...hourly...but I can’t imagine trading the “freedom” to live a selfish life doing whatever I may have dreamed about doing, for the joy of being a mommy; for the heart-melting giggles, for the soft lips calling my name for the first time (or the first thousand times - it really never gets old to know your child loves you), for kissing that squishy forehead, for wiping away the tears from flushed cheeks, for getting to tell them about Je-sus and how much He loves them and wants to be their best friend. And I can tell you that there are many I know of who have kept their babies even

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in the midst of extremely difficult situations, and they are SO glad that they did. In fact, I am one of those children...and I am so thankful that I was given the chance to live and learn and serve the Lord with my life. And I can also tell you that there are many, MANY who have gotten abortions, and never recovered, and have only ever wished they could go back and choose to let their child live. Abortion clinics will tell you it’s not really a person inside of you - it’s just “tissue”, they say. But that’s a lie. There is a real life inside...full of promise, full of beauty, full of innocence...and a real, live beating heart. A life that NEEDS a mommy...a life that needs to be hugged and snuggled and kissed and taught about Jesus and how much He LOVES children. A life that needs someone to care.

The “benefits” of any job on earth are fleeting; money doesn’t last, status doesn’t last, location doesn’t last, comforts and gadgets don’t last, looks don’t last....but being a mommy is the most important job on earth, because you are given charge of a little, eternal soul, to cherish and to train up in the way it should go. A little soul that, with patience and lots of prayer, can be a little disciple of Jesus, and follow in His ways...and can lead many others to know Him, and to be part of the innocence and beauty of heaven forever.

“It’s the greatest poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish.” Mother Teresa

“You have to love your chil-dren unselfishly. That is hard. But it is the only way.” Bar-bara Bush, former U.S. first lady

“A person’s a person, no matter how small.” Dr. Seuss

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More Than

WatchmenWait For the Morning

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“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,    and in His word I hope;

my soul waits for the Lord    more than watchmen for the morning,    more than watchmen for the morning.”

Psalm 130:5-6

“Wait for the Lord”. This is a phrase that is repeated many times throughout the Bible - and especially in the Psalms. At-tached to it are often promises of God’s strength and help; displays of His power on our behalf. But...what exactly does it mean to “wait for the Lord”? Our culture has become consumed with the need to have instant gratification - everything we want or need at our fingertips the very second that we need it. We don’t want to have to wait for anything - even 2-day shipping on something we’re excited about seems like an eternity. The con-cept of having to wait is something we’ve almost entirely lost, and not only have we lost all patience, but when we discover that we have to wait for something, our minds almost always see it as a punish-ment and/or an annoyance. This particular passage of scripture is one that is especially helpful in teaching us what it means to wait for the Lord.

“I wait for the Lord” Wait. When we go to pray, it can be our tendency to come with our “lists” and to plow through them as fast as possible so that we can get on to the rest of the things we want to do. But this is not a rela-tionship with God! This is a religious exer-cise that’s no more effective than bowing towards Mecca 5 times a day. The way

to actually have a real relationship with Jesus is to sit with Him. To pray and wait on Him until you know He is there with you. Not stopping until you know that He has heard...not giving up until you know you have actually spent time sitting with Jesus. It can be hard; you may get antsy, you may have plans for the day trying to fill your mind - things you need to get done - but don’t let those things win over your thoughts. The devil will try to throw all kinds of these things at you because he knows that it is only when we actu-ally spend time in the Lord’s presence that our lives are changed, and that we can hear God speaking. When we do all

the talking as fast as we can, and then move on to the rest of our “to-do list”, we aren’t giving God much of a chance to speak to our hearts...and we wonder why our lives are still the same, why our sins are still master over us, and why we don’t know if God ever speaks to us. It’s because we never give Him a chance. We want a drive-through meeting with God - quick and easy; something that won’t take up too much of our time, and yet, will still get us everything we want. But God wants an actual friendship with us...and He has made it to take real effort and time...just like any other friendship. When we do take the time to pray and to keep praying and waiting on Him until we KNOW we are with Him in His throne

We want a drive-through meet-ing with God - quick and easy; something that won’t take up too much of our time, and yet, will still get us everything we want.

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room, it is then that He fills us with the joy and peace that we are so longing for, and the victory over our sinful na-ture, and the answers to our prayers.

“and in His word I hope” One powerful tool of prayer is actually God’s Word - the Bible! Many times we can think of it as something sepa-rate from praying or “extra”...but God has made it to be used, among other things, as a tool to help us to enter into His presence and to hear His voice. It can be used to direct our prayers, and God will also often use it to speak to us and to give us the answers and direc-tion we need for our daily lives. The Bible is full of verses that you can use to shape your own prayers, and prom-ises that you can take hold of in your prayers. God’s Word is “sharper than any two-edged sword”, and it seems that prayers that stem from His Word are especially effective because, when you pray scripture, it is showing God that you actually believe that what He has said is true; “And without faith it is impossible to please Him [God], for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He re-wards those who seek Him.” (Hebrews 11:6) When you pray scripture, it is also comforting to know that it doesn’t have any of your own selfishness mixed into it (unless taken horribly out of context for personal gain), as we find that our prayers can sometimes run into this problem. (“The words of the Lord are pure words, like silver refined in a furnace on the ground, purified

seven times.” Psalm 12:6) You can trust God’s Word, and that He will keep all of His promises. Hold fast to His Word - it will never let you down. Expect Him to fulfill it. Pray scriptures. And when God shows you scriptures that speak to your heart and the situations you are in...you can hold onto them with great hope and expectancy.

“my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning” Imagine living back in the days when there were castles and knights and fair maidens. Now, if the king of a city was smart, he would appoint watchmen

to stand guard all day and all night all over the walls of the city (because back in those days, when there were con-tinually wars over who would get to rule over cities and lands, they usually had very big walls all around the cities to make it harder for the enemy armies to come in). They had to always be watching for any sign of armies being gathered to fight against their cities. It is easier to sneak up on someone at night, so many times battles would begin at night, and that is why the cit-ies had watchmen taking shifts watch-ing for trouble day after day - and

“Just imagine your eager ex-pectancy as the last hour of your watch was drawing to a close, eyes sore and drooping after such a long night, wait-ing for the first rays of sun to begin peeking over the hills....”

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even at night. Usually if you were on the night shift you might keep watch until the sun rose, and then another watchman would come and take your place so you could get some sleep. Now just imagine you were that watch-man whose job it was to keep watch all night. It would be very dark, and probably cold. You wouldn’t be able to see much of anything, but your eyes would be continually straining to try to see any kind of movement anywhere nearby. Hour after hour you would be staring into the darkness, hand on your bow, trying desperately to stay awake, because the safety of the city would be compromised if you fell asleep for even a minute. And just imagine your eager expectancy as the last hour of your watch was drawing to a close, eyes sore and drooping after such a long night, waiting for the first rays of sun to begin peeking over the hills, knowing that not long after, you would be relieved from your shift on the cold, hard wall, and be free to go home to rest. You would be counting down the minutes...waiting for the sun to shine and the shroud of darkness to be swept away. Rejoicing to have made it through another night safely, without incident. It is this kind of eagerness and expectancy that we are to have as we go to pray. When we pray, it should be a joyful thing to us to spend time with the Lord...and to wait for Him to come and sit with us. Knowing that He will lift the burdens off of our shoulders and fill us with the peace that we are long-ing for. Waiting for His presence like the

earth as it eagerly thirsts for the spring rain - then bursting forth in all of its beauty and fragrance. “Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord; His going out is sure as the dawn; He will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth.” Hosea 6:3

Contact Tai Sophia at: UnshakableGirls@gmail.com