ultimate love meditation 13

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8/7/2019 Ultimate Love Meditation 13 http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/ultimate-love-meditation-13 1/34 The Ultimate Love Meditation Copyright Paul Bunting E-RYT 500 The definition of meditation according to dictionary.com is: “med ⋅ ⋅ ta⋅ tion –noun 1. the act of meditating. 2. continued or extended thought; reflection; contemplation. 3. transcendental meditation. 4. devout religious contemplation or spiritual introspection. Origin: 1175–1225; < L medit āti ōn- (s. of medit āti ō  ) a thinking over (see meditate, -ion ) Dictionary.com Unabridged Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009.” Many people I have come into contact with have the idea that meditation is the act of “clearing the mind of all thoughts” – and many people seem to have many reasons for practicing meditation! As you can clearly read in the definition, the word meditation seems to be very open ended, almost as if it were up to the person actually doing the meditation to define what it means individually on a personal level! I feel that people who become interested in meditation often have a specific reason or desire in mind that they are hoping to achieve, or at least get closer to by incorporating meditation into their life! I also feel that by tapping into the deep forces of thought power, we can achieve many of the feelings (and or goals) that we seek to feel with a focused period of dynamic thought, or meditation! I’ve used different meditation, or dynamic thought

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The Ultimate Love MeditationCopyright Paul Bunting E-RYT 500

The definition of meditation according to dictionary.com is:

“med ⋅ i ⋅ ta⋅ tion

–noun1. the act of meditating.2. continued or extended thought; reflection;contemplation.3. transcendental meditation.

4. devout religious contemplation or spiritual introspection.Origin:1175–1225; < L medit āti ōn- (s. of medit āti ō ) a thinking over (see meditate, -ion ) Dictionary.com Unabridged Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House,Inc. 2009.” 

Many people I have come into contact with have the ideathat meditation is the act of “clearing the mind of all

thoughts” – and many people seem to have many reasonsfor practicing meditation! As you can clearly read in thedefinition, the word meditation seems to be very openended, almost as if it were up to the person actually doingthe meditation to define what it means individually on apersonal level!

I feel that people who become interested in meditation oftenhave a specific reason or desire in mind that they are hoping

to achieve, or at least get closer to by incorporatingmeditation into their life! I also feel that by tapping into thedeep forces of thought power, we can achieve many of thefeelings (and or goals) that we seek to feel with a focusedperiod of dynamic thought, or meditation!

I’ve used different meditation, or dynamic thought

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techniques with the intent of enhancing my intuition, feelingmore balanced, gaining greater understanding of myemotions and even attracting more of the type of love I havedesired into my life. If I didn’t feel that meditation could

enhance the quality of my life, I wouldn’t find the time,effort and space to practice it! From my experience,regardless of what you are seeking, meditation or dynamicthinking practices require your effort, dedication and time inorder to work or for real world results to become noticeable. Have you heard about a movie called “The Secret”? Whatabout a book with the title “Think and Grow Rich” (ByNapoleon Hill)? The movie and the book both suggest

harnessing and applying the power of thought towards aspecific desire. You could call this meditation!

Meditating on a direction you would like your life to go.Imagining with enough focus that you would actually feelhow you would feel if what you were focusing on were to beactually happening in real life! I personally think about thisas a form of dynamic thought – which does not have toinvolve being still physically! This is an idea I’ll elaborate on

much more as we proceed. Of course, this eBook is aboutwhat I feel can be called “The Ultimate Love Meditation” –something that I discovered in a period of love lifefrustration…but more about that in a bit.

I’ve been to my fair share of yoga classes that includemeditation. I’ve read books about meditation. I’ve alsopracticed various meditation techniques for years. From mypersonal experience with meditation and various types of 

instruction, one of the re-occurring themes that I don’t tendto agree with is calming the body and mind as a primaryobjective. To me, this doesn’t make all that much logicalsense. If I’m looking for love, how is sitting quietly bymyself and trying to will all the thoughts out of my mindgoing to help me find, or shall I say tap into the love I’mseeking? I’ve ask this question before to different teachers

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and I have yet to be given an answer or solution that haseven a little real life logical sense! Does this make the sitstill and quite idea wrong? Who knows?! That’s not for meto say. Instead of finger pointing or making something right

or wrong, I prefer to turn the unturned stone and findsomething that delivers!

 I feel that our thoughts are powerful enough to bringfourth powerful physical and emotional sensationsinto our bodies.

Depending on what we’re thinking about (and how we feelabout our thoughts) our bodies physically respond! For

example, if you were to think about a loved one and applyas much focus and concentration as you are able to on onlythat thought, chances are, you would feel a certain way as aresult! If you were to think about doing something reallyexciting and you were to apply as much focus andconcentration as you are capable of, your body wouldphysically respond to that thought too!

So now for a question, if your thoughts can cause powerful

physical sensations to surge through our body (which is partof The Ultimate Love Meditation), why on earth would youattempt to suppress your body’s natural urge to move?

Maybe you can think of a reason, but for me, especially afterstudying and applying Alignment Yoga (as Harmon Hathawayfrom The American Yoga Foundation teaches it) to my life, Isee little to no value in attempting to contain the physicalsensations that accompany thought! In fact, I feel its

counter productive! If a thought with enough focus andconcentration feels, doesn’t it make sense to allow the bodyto move in way that it can allow for even greater sensationand discovery?

Have you ever daydreamed? You know, been kind of spacedout and just let your mind wander and drift? Chances are,

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you’ve daydreamed at some point. Have you everdaydreamed about a lover or ideal relationship? Connectingwith a lover that meets and fulfills your physical andemotional desires? Could this not be considered a form of 

meditation?

Is fantasy or daydream not a form of continued or extendedthought, reflection or contemplation? I think it is! What doyou think would happen if you gave this type of meditationis an uplifting direction? If you were to daydream about alover that would fulfill your emotional and physical desires,and question why that daydream is important, you may findthat it’s because you want that in your life, but for whatever

reason, don’t believe it can be attainable by you. There aremany probable reasons or ideas you can come up with as towhy your love life is the way it is, but that’s not the focushere. Feeling what you desire in a way that it can be real foryou is!

If the driving force behind meditation is to enhance thequality of your life…If you were to be completely and totallyhonest with yourself…if you were to ask yourself honestly,

how you feel about your love life, emotionally and physically,what comes up?

Do you think it makes sense to dynamically put your mind aspace that you have been desiring in your love life? I do -and I’ve done it! To me, what I call The Ultimate LoveMeditation is a tool I have used when the heavy feeling thatsome aspect of my love life, physical or emotional, is off balance. It’s been a real life solution for me multiple times

when I’ve felt frustrated that my love life has felt stuck –and it works! – however, I bid that you don’t just take myword for it – prove it to yourself and then you will reallyknow from firsthand experience.

Before you start, please know that there’s one thing you cando that will make or break your practice - and that’s

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practice! If this were any easier I would be the first in lineto sign up! However, from my experience, on almost alllevels with this practice, what you stand to gain is directlylinked to what you’re willing to invest.

The Ultimate Love Meditation is made up of threemajor components:

1. Breath-work2. Releasing Body-work3. Imaginatory Inner-Work

In this guide, I provide simple detailed step-by-stepexplanations of how to accomplish each important aspect of this practice. I feel, that for best results - all three aspectsare of equal importance – and by combining the three intoone - a tremendous amount of ground can be covered inshort timeframe!

1. Working with Breath:

The way you breath can have a major impact on whathappens in your practice of The Ultimate Love Meditation.Our breathing is the only body function that can beconsciously controlled, or done automatically via ourautonomic nervous system. Exercising conscious control of breath, from my personal experience, can rather quicklyease internal conflict, anxiety, panic, obvious or subtletightness and other intense sensations. It can also keep youanchored in times of extremely heightened sensation

allowing you to experience prolonged and more intensepulses of pleasure as well.

Part of The Ultimate Love Meditation is the practice of shedding light on dark areas or emotionally turbulent areasof your life that are impacting your love life. Another aspectof this practice is venturing into emotional and even sensual

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heights powerful enough to cause your whole body to shake!The purpose of working with your breath throughout theentire practice is to help you move through the spaces thatmay not feel great emotionally and also to handle intense

states of pleasurable emotional intensity and or sensualintensity without becoming overwhelmed or distracted.

The breathing is actually very simple. To begin yourpractice, simply lay flat on your back, doing the best you canto elongate your neck by tucking your chin towards yourcollarbone and inhale, though your nose deeply into yourlower stomach area. Ideally you will feel a space a couple of inches below your belly button expand as you’re inhaling (it

might help to concentrate specifically on this area as you arepracticing this breathing style). Once your stomach areahas been expanded with breath, let your upper bodyexpand. This should be simple. You shouldn’t have to forceit to happen. When you feel that you’ve taken in a full andcomplete breath, exhale through your mouth. You may letthe air out of your stomach area first, of you may just let itout all at once. The key here is to breath without force.Inhaling through your nose, exhaling thought your mouth -

throughout the entire practice.

To summarize:

1. Lay flat on your back – you will be on your back

throughout the entire practice session!

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2. Through your nose, inhale as deeply into your stomach

area as you can. Once your stomach area is full, letthe breath continue to fill your upper body up in a fluidmotion.

3. When inhaling is no longer easy, exhale through yourmouth. Repeat the process throughout your practicesession without forcing or holding your breath, to thebest of your ability.

It’s that simple!

2. Releasing Body-Work

I feel that the releasing bodywork that I cover in thissection, is the primary reason why I was able to get mindaltering and mind blowing results with The Ultimate LoveMeditation in less than three months. In fact, I feel that if you practice The Ultimate Love Meditation without thereleasing bodywork (in terms of Alignment Yoga from theAmerican Yoga Foundation, the Hi Release) you will have amuch more difficult time staying mentally present in times of 

mental intensity. I also feel that one of the reasons why thisis such a powerful practice is because it brings the situationsto the forefront of your conscious awareness that cause thefeeling of disconnect to arise – and it allows you to let go of stuff you may not even know you are holding onto (thatyou’ll understand in practice) that causes merry go roundbehavior and as a result of letting go you just feel betterabout the person you are right now.

I initially got the idea to even do a love meditation when Iwas watching a documentary in which a Tibetan (I’m prettysure he was Tibetan) Monk was explaining how they dosensual meditation to make celibacy manageable on bothemotional and physical levels. This Monk was explaininghow they would go through a dynamic process while sittingstill in meditation and that as a result, powerful emotionaland physical sensations, much like the sensations you would

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experience with a lover would flow through his body. Healso cautioned that it was very likely for this practice to takemany years to work. As fate would have it, intuition guidedme into using the Hip Release, as part of practice. Words

simply cannot express the feelings I was able to experiencein a mere matter of weeks and the intensity of what washappening on so many levels – in large part as a result of using the hip release as part of the meditation.

As you may soon discover – this stuff can be VERY intense.When you think about it, you are going to be practicingputting your mind in the place that you desire to go in yourlove life – and also discovering what conscious and

unconscious mental obstacles are in the way. I feel that bygiving yourself a release valve, so to speak, you are givingyourself a way to handle the intensity with full consciousawareness. If you were not to have the release valve thatthe hip release offers, chances are pretty good that at thefirst uncovering of any real intensity, the mind will simplydrift off into a space where you are not able to stay with itand get past it. I urge you to try the Ultimate LoveMeditation without the hip release after you have some

experience and you will first hand notice how important thehip release is and understand I’m not writing about this justto fill space.

The Hip Release, is very simple to do - however, it can be abit complicated to understand initially because of it’suniqueness. Some of the best advice I think I can provide isto let the process happen as it wants to happen, and do thebest you can to suspend the logical mind from stopping

something from happening, just because it’s unknown.

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To Begin:

As indicated in Figure 1:

Lay flat on your back, doing the best you can to keep yourchin level to your collarbone (which elongates the neck,decompressing the spine), and bring your feet close to your

hips. How close you bring your feet to your hips and howclose you keep your feet to each other is a matter of comfort. This is something that can change throughout yourpractice – in a session, and/or from session to session. Youcan practice your breathing technique just as easily in this position as you can laying flat on your back.

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Next:

As indicated in Figure 2, let your knees open. You can letthe bottoms of your feet face each other while this happens.This shouldn’t be a forceful process. Let your legs open onlyas far as they feel comfortable opening. Once your legshave opened, or your knees have separated as far as they’re

going to separate comfortably, simply bring them back tothe starting point, or initial position demonstrated in Figure1. Repeat the process. The opening and closing if yourknees should be done INDEPENDENTLY from your breath.You should be going at a pace you feel comfortable with.Not too fast, not too slow. A natural pace.

While you are opening and closing your knees, or going fromFigure 1, to figure 2, you may notice certain areas that feel

a trembling sensation, a bit shaky or slightly uneasy.That’s what you’re looking for!  When you do find thoseareas, just stop the movement and let our legs shake ortremble as much as they want to on their own, withoutinterfering. This can be a bit tricky at first. It can be trickybecause your mind may not be familiar with what’shappening.

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When you have found a spot, or spots within the range of motion (opening and closing your knees) that are shaky a lotcan happen! You’re tapping into the conscious of your body.

The shaking, if you allow it to, can, and from my personalexperience, usually does take on a mind of it’s own. Whenyou have found the areas that are shaking, the shaking canlast as long as it wants to last – it can also become veryintense and cause just about your whole body to shake. I’mnot saying it’s going to, but it does have the potential to.

In order for this to happen, you have to let it happen. Thefirst time I experienced the shaking, or my body going into

release – a lot went through my mind. I was trying toanalyze what was happening. “Is this in my mind, or are mylegs really shaking?” Am I trying to make this happen, or isthis happening on it’s own?” How long is it going to last?”  “Wow, this is getting pretty intense, maybe I should try tomake it stop.” 

Those, and a bunch of other thoughts entered my mindwhen I was first learning about - and applying Alignment

Yoga from the American Yoga Foundation. When I learnedto just let those, and pretty much any other thoughts justpass, and let my body respond (while doing the hip, or anyother Alignment Yoga release) how my body chose torespond, for as long as my body chose to respond, thingsbecame very interesting and much more organically naturalfeeling.

I never knew what was going to happen. There were times

the hip release was so intense my whole body shook – andat other times, it was mild and little happened. I stronglyrecommend that you become familiar with the breathingtechnique and hip release prior to adding the internalmeditation. I feel that adding the hip release is theequivalent to adding a rocket engine to your practice. I feelthat I was able to accomplish what the Monk was speaking

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of in a matter of weeks, not years. I feel this is, in largepart, due to the hip release.

Another side note you may find useful is that I’ve found in

practice, the intensity of the release happening in the bodyhas a direct connection with my emotional state of mind.When difficult emotions come up, the body responds andreleases. When highly charged sensations come up, thebody responds! The more you can allow it to happen, themore intense and powerful your experience will become. Iurge you to get past the idea that it’s all in my mind beforethat even has a chance to take roots. Yes, it is all in yourmind. You’re tapping into the intelligence of your body and

the power of your mind! The more you can go into it and letit happen, the more revealing and fulfilling your practice willbe – but again, please, don’t take my word for it – discoveron your own through practice!

To summarize the hip release:

1. Begin by laying flat on your back.

2. Bend your knees, bringing your feet close to your hips,

as demonstrated inFigure 1.

3. Independently from your breathing, let your knees

open as far as they can open comfortably. Don’t force.See Figure 2.

4. Bring the knees together again, as in Figure 1. Repeat

the process at a moderate pace. You can rest whenyou feel as though you need rest.

5. While you are opening and closing your knees, pay

careful attention to areas that are uneasy, or a bit

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shaky.

6. When you find an area that’s a bit shaky, just let

it happen. Stop the movement of your legs and

let them shake as long as they want to shake.

7. When the shaking is done, just go back to themovement, opening and closing the knees. Going fromFigure 1 to Figure 2.

That’s how the hip release is done. For best results, Irecommend that you practice the Hip Release for atleast 21 minutes per practice session, for at leastseven practice sessions prior to advancing to the nextstep. To the best of your ability, you will be doing the hiprelease throughout the imaginatory mental part of theprocess.

3. Imaginatory Inner-Work

This is what makes The Ultimate Love Meditation what it is!To simplify how this process works, I’ll explain the process,as if I’m going through it myself. Before we go there,however, I should clue you in on the two important aspectsof the Imaginatory Inner-Work.

This process, the Ultimate Love Meditation, has the ability tobring to your conscious awareness, aspects of yourself, orthoughts, ideas and self beliefs you may be holding on anunconscious level - that have an impact (not alwayspositive) on your life. Personally, I found this aspect of LoveMeditation Sessions to be of crucial importance. Often,while practicing, I became aware of some of the moredetrimental ways I thought about myself, and even wherethey came from. Outside of practice, in day-to-day life Ibegan to become more aware of my thoughts as theypertained to my love life, in the many ways that thoughts,throughout the day, can pertain to your love life.

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When I came across a person, place, or thing, which “triggered” a certain type of thinking, feeling and in turnacting – I noticed myself becoming consciously aware of what was going on. I noticed that I was not getting caught

up into my own thoughts and reactions in a way thatseemed to be out of control, or just going along for the ridethat unconscious wiring caused. I began to feel empoweredto make different decisions to get different internal resultsand it worked very nicely.

I became more aware of situations that were triggeringcertain ways of thinking that caused unpleasant feelings andactions. I found myself noticing this, and in turn making

different decisions. More conscious decisions. That wassomething that was happening outside of practice sessions,and from what I gathered, a direct result of becoming awareof the harmful and self-defeating unconscious thoughts thatmade up my internal wiring. It seemed as though I wasbecoming aware of “stuff” in practice (if it was big “stuff” thehip release seemed to be very intense) and letting it go.

The other powerful aspect of Love Meditation Practice

sessions is that my mind was venturing into the territory of feeling all of the feelings I wanted to feel! The intimacy,acceptance, warmth, closeness, emotional and physicalintensity that I wanted to experience, my mind wasexperiencing. I was putting my mind there. I quicklydiscovered that the more I let go of this “being all in myhead” and just let it be in my head, in addition to my bodyand my whole being – the more intense it became! I startedto feel my thoughts everywhere in my body.

It didn’t take too long for my thoughts and focus to becomemore intense, more powerful and more concentrated than Ihad experienced before. It didn’t take too long before I feltas though I had just made love after practice sessions!Granted, I was the only one around, but that’s not how mymind felt and I ran with it. I let my mind go there. If you

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too, can let go of the concept and idea that this is in yourmind, I believe that great things can happen in your practicetoo. I believe that if I can do it, so can you and so can a lotof other people.

Now for the actual practice:

To start with, begin with your breath practice as well as thehip release. Throughout your practice session, you can restyour legs as often as you choose. You can extend your legs.You can rock your hips back and fourth and you can go backinto the hip release as many times as you want. In manyways, once you really get into practice, you can, and more

than likely will, tailor it to meet your own needs in a mostfulfilling way.

For me, practice begins laying flat on my back, breathingand doing the hip release. After a few breaths I’ll close myeyes and just kind of let whatever thoughts or anticipationspass as they come up. Sometimes it takes a few minutes tolet my mind make the transition from what I was doing toembracing what I’m about engage myself in, The Ultimate

Love Meditation. That’s fine. I feel it works a lot betterwhen you don’t force things to happen.

Every practice session is different. I just learned to trustmy intuition with practice and end a practice sessionwhen I feel it’s over. Of course, there are times when achallenging thought or realization comes to mind and I wantit to be over, but feel it important to continue – and thereare also times when I just feel that practice is over. After

you get started, you’ll catch the drift as well.

Once my mind is ready to make that transition, I will beginto imagine the idea or thought of a lover. To begin with, thisis a person whom I have never seen in my life before. Idon’t want to create an expectation with a person I know orhave seen in real life, as this practice is about me (your

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practice is about you), not the other person. If you’re in aloving relationship, and you and your significant other wishto develop a deeper bond with each other, and both feelpassionately about practice, you may wish to use their

image in practice.

In the beginning, as I’m imagining a lover, I simply imaginethe idea. Even if an image doesn’t enter into my mind, Iimagine the idea of a lover. I think about a person whowould help me to feel a powerful emotion. Intimacy.Connection. Being in love. I simply imagine that loversitting next to me, as realistically as my mind allows me to.Even in my imagination, I’m aware of my surroundings and

how I’m situated. I’ll imagine this lover sitting next to me or just being there. I’ll do the best I can do to feel how I wouldfeel if that lover was really there.

Imaging that lover may require a bit of time and patience.Do it. It’s worth it! At first, my intent is to FEEL connection.I imagine, as vividly, as powerfully, as intensely as my mindallows – how it would feel if that lover was the love of mylife. I imagine sharing a love and connection so strong with

that lover that no words even need to be spoken. Aconnection so powerful that we both know each other andlove each other deeply. Often, while this is happening, I willput my hands on my heart area. My goal, my intent, in thebeginning IS JUST TO FEEL INTIMACY AND CONNECTION!That’s it! But, I’m aware this is just a starting point.

Once I’m able to get a real good feel for how it might feel, if I were to meet a person that had a presence so powerful

that no words even need to be spoken to make me simplymelt inside – I begin to imagine what type of mindset thislover may have. This can become interesting, yet I will notmove forward into this step until I am able to just feel mylover and feel the love inside of me.

At times, as I’ve began to imagine what type of mindset

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(how that lover may think) that this lover has and manyother thoughts and images pop into my mind. Past lovers.Parental guidance. Teachings of what “should be”. Politicallycorrect thinking. A lover who thinks harshly of me. People I

wanted to connect with. People I desired. I never knowwhat’s going to come up. That is one of the ways that themind works to reveal unconscious thoughts to the consciousmind. 

You can let these thoughts happen – and to the best of yourability, just let em’ pass! If this brings up something thatyou feel emotionally charged about, you might notice yourbody responding. That’s the primary reason for the hip

release! It helps you get past that stuff and let it go! Thiscan even happen when you’re first thinking of a lover. Younever know what thoughts will run through your mind until ithappens.

So far, you have imagined a lover, imagined how it might feel if you were to share a POWERFUL emotional intimacy and connection with that lover, and imagined how that lover’s mindset might be.

Next, and this can be interesting, when I practice I imagine,as vividly as possible, becoming that lover. First, I imaginehow it would feel physically to become that lover. I imagineit as vividly as possible. I like to have fun with this part.You can imagine what it feels like to be another person. Youcan imagine how they might think. You can imagine how itfeels physically to be in that person’s body. When I’m doingthis I take my time with it. Although it can be challenging at

first, I find this to be an important and rewarding part of theprocess.

Once I’ve imagined, as vividly as possible, becoming thelover that I imagined connecting with – I imagine lookingthought their eyes, at myself. Easier said than done. Itdoesn’t matter how “good” or “not good” you’re able to do

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this, it doesn’t even matter if it’s just an idea for you at first.

As you hold the image or idea of yourself in mind, you mayfind this is another point that stuff comes up. I know it did

for me. A lot of stuff came up at this point. I didn’t the likethe way I looked. I was uncomfortable looking at myself. Ipreferred to be focusing on my imaginary lover, notimagining myself.

Eventually, I got past it and held the image of myself. I didthe best I could to let that image be as I really was. Iimagined myself, doing the hip release, wearing what I waswearing, being located where I was located. At first, it was

tough, but with practice it became easier and easier. Once Iwas able to get a pretty good perspective of myself, Iimagined how it might feel to love myself (from theperspective of a lover) just as much as I practiced myself imagining my love for that lover.

Let me tell you…At first this was not working out well at all!I immediately became aware of many self-defeatingthoughts. I didn’t look right, who would love me, I had too

many character defects – and on, and on, and on, AND ON,AND ON!!! That brought stuff up! It was a good thing forthe hip release! My body was going nuts!

But – on the flipside, this was really important. I just letthose thoughts pass as best I could. I did the best I could toimagine loving myself. Even if I felt it was pretend. Even if it was only the question (or concept) I wonder how it mightfeel, if I were a lover, to love myself.

After a while I was able to do it. I was able to hold onto theimage of myself, in my own mind, and feel a powerful senseof intimacy, connection and love. That aspect of practice isalso the primary aspect of practice that let me becomeaware of so many unconscious reasons I held onto that Iwas not worthy or deserving of love. Just holding the image

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of myself and practicing how it might feel if I were to lovemyself had that much of an impact.

Usually I would stay there as long as it took. There were

times that practice was over when I reached that point andhad a few key realizations. One of the key realizations I didhave is that it was a lot easier to love myself if I were tounconditionally accept myself. I practiced doing that. Evenif it was just the imagination, the pretend idea, of how itmight feel if I were to accept myself for the person I was atthat moment in time.

Up to this point, you have imagined a lover, imagined how it 

might feel if you were to share a POWERFUL emotional intimacy and connection with that lover, and imagined how that lovers mindset might be. You have imagined becomingthat lover, and as that lover, you have imagined how it may feel if you were to love yourself.

As I hold the image of myself in mind, from the vantagepoint of a lover, I will hold onto the idea of unconditionalacceptance. This can bring a lot of stuff up. Imagining how

it MIGHT feel IF I WERE TO accept myself makes it easier.There are no commitments to the “if I were to” concept. Italso lets the garbage rise to the surface. It gives all thosereasons “why not” a perfect opportunity to revealthemselves.

I just let it happen. I let the stuff come up and pass.Eventually, with practice, accepting myself just the way I amat the current moment became easier and easier. And yes,

it’s important enough to repeat!

After I get a good feel for total self-acceptance I’ll begin tomove in more of a sensual direction if I feel that there is aneed. I’ll vividly imagine being in my own body again. I’llconcentrate on the physical sensations I can feel pulsingthrough my body. I may become aware of my breath – the

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effort required to do the hip release, my emotions, myfeelings and…

I’ll once again let the idea of a lover enter into my mind. To

the very best of my ability, I’ll even imagine the anticipationof how it might feel if I were about to passionately share alovemaking session with that lover. I’ll let flashes of some of the things, sensually, that I would enjoy with that lover toenter into my mind. Or course, you don’t have to go there if you don’t feel a need or desire. When there is no desire togo there, I’ll just imagine sharing space and the feeling of love with that lover, and when I’m ready, I’ll let all thethoughts of that lover go and just hold onto the feeling and

open my eyes when ready.

On the other hand, if I do feel a need or desire to take mymind into areas of sensuality, I’ll go there. I’ll imagine beingnaked with that lover and embracing. For me, I often startwith the imagination of that lover sitting naked on my lap asI sit cross-legged, or in lotus position, but, of course, youcan do anything! I’ll imagine how that lover’s body feels.I’ll imagine how that lover smells. I’ll imagine the heat and

texture of their body. I’ll imagine the smell of arousal. Inmy own mind, I do the best I can to let these thoughtsbecome as real as real life! I’ll start to focus on the sensualfeelings as they flow through my body. I’ll vividly imaginemy lover becoming just as excited – and I concentrate onthe physical sensations in my body while this is happening.

If it takes a while to get a good feel for this, great! Itshould! The more you practice, the more real it gets. The

more you can get over “it’s just in my head” the more vividthe thoughts and physical sensations in your body become!

You can go about this however you choose. I’m sharingsome if what I do and have done so you can get some ideasof how you may choose to go about practicing. Before goingfurther into the experience, I feel it’s important to share that

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while I’m doing this, beginning to imagine the sensual part, Ido the best I can to continue to feel (imagine) the sense of intimacy and connection that I invested a good amount toeffort to feel initially! Usually, by this point, or when there is

noticeable sensuality, the hip release is often rather active.

I’ll imagine caressing my lover. I’ll imagine the texture of their skin, how they smell, how they taste – and how theyreact to my touch. I’ll also imagine my lover touching me.In my mind, I do the best I can to imagine as specificallyand vividly as possible, the sensations that would create inmy body.

With practice, this alone can have me shaking. I willcontinue to concentrate on feelings of intimacy andconnection. I’ll also concentrate on the sensual intensity of what’s happening in my mind. With focus, with a bit of practice, it becomes very real.

Of course, stuff can always come up at any time. Imagesand flashes of past lovers may enter my mind. Lovers that Ino longer have an affinity towards. Lovers that I have felt

scarred from. Prospective lovers who never became lovers.Anything. As this stuff happens, I just let it happen.Sometimes there’s a lot of emotion that comes along withthese side thoughts. To the best of my ability, withoutgetting sidetracked by these obvious thoughts and feelings, Ilet it happen from the perspective of an observer. Usually,when emotionally charged stuff does come up, and I feel itimportant to go into (which I gauge by the persistency of the thoughts), I’ll let the thought process itself. I’ll let the

hip release work. I’ll let my body feel emotion. I’ll evenmake noise if I want to. Ideally, I just want to let persistent,negatively orientated thoughts related to sensuality pass soI can invest my thought energy into what I sought out to doin the first place.

From my personal experience, a lot of sensually charged

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 “garbage” – or uncomfortable thoughts and feelings haverevealed themselves and passed in personal practice whileI’m focusing on sensual intensity.

This is a great time to explore any fantasies you may haveas well! As this is happening in my mind – making love – toa passionate and intensely intimate lover, I’ll start to thinkabout where in my body I would be feeling these feelings.

For me, the more I focus on those areas the larger and moreintense those areas become. I let this happen more andmore! I become aware of what areas in my body aretightening up on obvious or subtle levele and I use breath

and concentration to “loosen up” – and when I’m ready Ibegin to imagine the love making experience becoming sopowerful that orgasm starts to build.

I imagine exactly how it might feel if orgasm would begetting closer. I imagine the areas in my body that wouldfeel it most. I let it happen. I forget that it’s in my head. Ifeel it. The more I concentrate on it, the more powerful andintense the feelings become!

I let it build until I feel that I’m burning up with intensityand I can no longer handle it! When that happens – asvividly as possible – I imagine orgasm! I let my body looseitself in the sensation! I let it happen as long as it wants tohappen! I allow the involuntary muscle contractions tohappen. I let my body go into it.

It took me a few weeks to learn how to let it feel real. As

far as I’m concerned I feel it’s a miracle it happened thatfast and I think it’s well worth the effort. Once it happens Ilet the thoughts and images clear from my mind. I stretchmy legs out. I breathe. When I’m ready – I open my eyesand come to – or realize where I am. I usually feel asthough I just made love. It becomes radiant and I feelfulfilled!

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To summarize what just happened:

You have imagined a lover, imagined how it might feel if you

were to share a POWERFUL emotional intimacy and connection with that lover, and imagined how that loversmindset might be. You have imagined becoming that lover,and as that lover, you have imagined how it may feel if youwere to love yourself. You have imagined unconditionally accepting yourself for the person you are at that moment.Then you have imagined, as vividly as possible, enteringinto your body again and making passionate love with that lover. You have imagined making love all the way to an

imagined orgasm. Then you relax!

That’s how it works. Play by play. You’ve just read it.What’s left now is doing it. Now it’s time for your journey totransform from reading about it to doing!

On a side note, I personally keep sensual intimate self-touchseparate from The Love Meditation. You can do what you

choose, but I feel it’s a lot more effective on many levelswhen you can let your thoughts take you there.

Here’s a personal story of mine about how this practicecame to be, and some of what I’ve experienced in thebeginning. You can read it, but what’s most important inyour world, is YOUR EXPERIENCE!

I’ll offer some closing comments, contact information and

advice after providing some personal insight that may giveyou a better idea about how you are going to go aboutpractice.

After teaching Yoga class one day one of my studentshanded me a movie to watch – Titled “The SacredProstitute”. From what I gathered it was about how people

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from different organized religions and spiritual beliefs feltabout sensuality.

At first, I wasn’t going to watch it. I really didn’t want to

hear a sermon of any kind about sensuality, but for somereason I decided to keep my mind open and watch.

The movie was much better than I expected. There waseven small section that had a life changing impact on me - aMonk speaking about sexuality and celibacy.

He shared: “Even though we practice celibacy, we don’tattempt to separate ourselves from, or suppress our sensual

energy or desires. We do the opposite. We embrace thesefeelings and include them in meditation. We imaginemaking love with a lover. Eventually, these thoughtsbecome so powerful that they bring the physical sense of orgasm into and throughout the entire body. But this cantake years of practice to achieve” 

I was at the edge of my seat watching and listening to thisMonk. What he said caused so many thoughts to rapidly

flash through my mind…

The first thing that came to mind was an experience I had asa senior in High School. An out of body experience (OBE)that took me to a space somewhere other than here. It wasa space where I didn’t have an identity, a name, a body thatI knew of, yet a lot was going on. I witness many thingshappen on that bizarre life altering evening. It was anexperience that I feel changed the way I perceive life. It

also helped fuel a veracious search for greater meaning inlife – the desire to understand who we, as humans are andto learn how to feel whole.

A couple years later when I was introduced to meditation Ibecame fascinated with the concept. The idea that we’reable to change our inner and outer reality with thoughts and

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concentration fascinated me. However, at that point in mylife, I didn’t know or understand how to apply theseconcepts in way that actually produced results.

What I did know is that I desired knowledge, and became adevoted seeker. Over the course of the next few years Istudied Hypnosis and became a Certified Hypnotherapist. Iextensively studied Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). Ipracticed and studied an advanced meditation course from agroup called Leap Life.

First, let me just clarify my feelings on meditation, then I’llmove forward with the story.

I feel that many of us think about meditation as “clearing orquieting the mind”. However, that’s far from what we did inLeap Life. The complex mental exercises, or meditations welearned and practiced required tremendous concentration.

We would execute specific tasks with our minds that wouldoften, quickly bring me to a line, a space where I was barelyin control of conscious thoughts and direction. When you

slip below that line, you simply become an observer! Anobserver as thoughts take on their own unique directionlessform - and you can only observe. Almost like a dream. Thecloser I would be to that line, the more challenging thepractice would become.

We did a lot of work with emotions and various feelings orwhat some people would call “energy centers” in the body.

As great and powerful as this was – I hungered for more.There was something I couldn’t quite put a finger on that Ifelt was missing in my life. I learned Qi Gong to a certain,and I’m sure limited capacity - and I learned Reiki. It stillwasn’t enough. I needed more. I somehow began to thinkthat studying and mastering working with breath would holdthe key to what I was searching for.

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I looked high and low for the best group to learn from andstudy with. In a lucky turn of events I found the AmericanYoga Foundation in upstate New York. I decided to study

Alignment Yoga there. Breathwork was a big part of Alignment Yoga. I hoped this would be the big breakthroughthat I thought I needed. I wanted something to take theedge that I didn’t understand off away from daily life!

What I learned from the American Yoga Foundation wasMUCH more than I had anticipated. I learned an entiresystem of how to Align and Release the physical body.Something that could really enhance modern physical

therapy in my opinion!

When I returned home I was excited to begin sharingAlignment Yoga with others. It was time to advance what Idid professionally and Alignment was going to help.

I found myself attracting a whole new type of person to mypractice and becoming very busy. I started working with alot of people who were experiencing physical pain. I worked

with people recovering from auto accidents, people withsciatica, people with scoliosis, severe stress, kneereplacements, hip replacements, aging related ailments –and even HIV pain.

It was intense work and the positive results people wereexperiencing astounded me! Something very interestinghappened with many of the people I worked with -Emotional Release.

Releasing the body with Alignment Yoga and breath-workoften brought raw emotions that seemed to go hand in handwith physical pain to the surface so they could be released.

Even with all of this going on I was still searching forsomething. Something I hadn’t found yet. I didn’t even

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understand what was driving me.

Still searching I created my own style of fitness Yoga. Justlike many other things I did, it worked well, but I was still

searching...

A twelve year journey flashed through my mind as I watchedthe Monk in the movie speak about sexuality. Then arealization of epic magnitude occurred to me…

It was a sense of intimacy, connection and greaterunderstanding of how to connect with sensuality in aspiritually uplifting way that I was searching for! This was

something that deeply affected me. It was that great bigelephant sitting in the center of the room that nobody seemsto want to address...

I couldn’t understand why relationships, for me, alwaysseemed to somehow turn out different than I desired. Itwas confusing and frustrating to go through similarexperiences over and over.

I felt that the attitude and understanding I held onto aboutmyself and love wasn’t going to help anything. I also feltthat until I learned or figured out a way to embrace my lovedesires in a spiritually uplifting way, all the feelings of disconnect I was experiencing would continue to persist –and I would continue to be a seeker. What I was seekingthe whole time was a sense of balance, fulfillment andhappiness. What I realized is that how I approached lovefeelings was one of the main causes of my feelings of lack.

Once I started really thinking about that stuff, thanks to theMonk on “The Sacred Prostitute” movie, I started to drawthe conclusion that in large - bigger than my own personstruggle with how to understand and embrace my lovedesires and feelings in a spiritually uplifting way - thatculturally, information, education and practices that do help

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people embrace their love desires and feelings in what I feelto be spiritually uplifting ways, aren’t common.

I felt that the Monk gave me a pretty good idea of 

something I could do in my own life that might help me finda better sense of fulfillment in a spiritually uplifting way of the love desires and feelings I was having challenges with.

I didn’t plan on becoming celibate, or going abroad to studywith the Monks, but I did believe I could come up withsomething that would help me. I felt that I knew a lot, or atleast enough about breathwork and the releasing bodywork Ilearned in Alignment Yoga, to apply to a home practice. As

for the internal part, the imagination part, the meditationpart – the Monk had given a pretty good idea of how it couldbe done.

I decided to commit to practicing for eight weeks, sevendays per week. That way, I figured, at least I had a chance.Maybe it would work! Maybe, just maybe, what I was aboutto do would begin to have some sort of uplifting effect on mylife that would help me feel as though I had a place for my

unfulfilled desires and feelings to go! On the other hand,maybe nothing would happen, but I was willing to find out.The only way to find out for sure was to practice…and I wasmore than ready!

I wasn’t too sure how to go about the process, but I waswilling to learn as I went along. I was even anticipating thatthe first week or so might be challenging. However, I wascompletely unprepared (if you could even prepare for such a

thing) for exactly how frustrating the first TWO weeks were!

Frustration was the theme! So was feeling unproductive. Sowas anger. I went through a whole bevy of emotions andfeelings that first couple weeks, most of which feltunpleasant. Refusing to quit – and thinking of myself as areasonably logical person – I started to wonder – WHY?

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What was I doing that caused such dismal feelings to rise tothe surface during practice? I thought about it. I walkedand though it. I wanted to know. Then it started to dawn

on me.

I was focusing only on feeling sensual. How my thoughtswere constructed during practice was not addressing what Ireally wanted. It was a sense of intimacy and connection Iwanted to feel. Not the sort of intimacy you feel with yourfamily, friends, or a pet. I wanted to know the type of intimacy I thought you should feel on a MUTUAL level with aLOVER!

 I wanted to experience the feel of being deeply in love. Theintimacy. The connect. The comfort of love - a love that canbe shared without the insecure, negative feelings that oftenseem to go along with it.

At that point in my life, I really couldn’t have defined thefeeling. I didn’t even know it was a possibility because I hadyet to experience it! Once I realized this, I also realized that

perhaps there was a better starting point in this special typeof love meditation than only imagining sensuality. Maybe Icould imagine feeling how I truly wanted to feel! In fact,that became the solution! I was going to focus on thesensation of intimacy, the type of intimacy I really wanted tofeel.

In my mind, I imagined. I imagined a lover. I imaginedfeeling what I wanted to feel with that lover. I imagined how

it might feel if I were to feel the type of intimacy I felt hadeluded me.

At first, it was kind of strange. I was in unknown territory…Iwas…defining the feeling. Interesting. And it was working!I was beginning to get glimpses of how the intimacy I hadalways wanted to feel, felt! I was…defining that feeling –

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and feeling it. This was really powerful!

Then something strange and unexpected happened. I cameto the realization that I needed to learn to feel that way

about myself. In fact, I realized, that if I wasn’t able to lovemyself – to feel the same intimacy and acceptance towardsmyself that I sought to feel in a lover – I wouldn’t allow itinto my life! That was pretty heavy.

That’s when things became interesting in my new LoveMeditation. I was able to imagine a lover. I was able toimagine feeling how I wanted to feel with that lover. I wasable to actually begin to feel the type of intimacy and

connect I wanted. It felt good. I enjoyed it. However, itwas time to learn, and practice feeling that way aboutmyself….

So I did something very interesting and powerful that youread about in this guide (if your mind is drawing blankshere, I suggest you re-read) – and it began to work. Ibecame that lover in my mind, and imagined feeling a deeplove and intimacy with myself. It slowly started working. I

began to accept myself more and more, for the man I wasright then and there – and it felt good.

What was really interesting – and unexpected in my LoveMeditation journey is that I started to become aware, on aconscious level, of a lot of the less than productive, or youcould even say destructive, ways I thought and felt aboutmyself.

Thoughts and feelings that inspired actions. Thoughts thatbrought up raw emotions. Thoughts that were triggeredthroughout the day and night by people places and things.Unconscious thoughts and feelings that I was previouslyunaware of were revealed to my conscious mind in practice!

It was so empowering to become consciously aware of how I

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was creating my own lack of fulfillment, and decide to makedifferent, more fulfilling, happier choices! For the first timein my life, I understood how the unconscious thoughts andbeliefs I held onto about myself inspired my actions. Wow!

That was intense! So many things related to intimacy,connection, and the way I felt about myself were influencedby my unconscious thoughts. This practice was changingthings for me on many levels.

I was getting more than I thought I was looking for! It wasgreat motivation to help me forge on and continue with mynew practice to uncover what was next...

By that point, I was getting pretty good at animating andbringing to life the feelings of internal connect and intimacy Isearched for. Perhaps, I thought, it’s time to start to mergethese feelings with sensuality.

That too, became very interesting. Keep in mind, I practicedfully dressed, at nighttime, on a relatively desolate beach inSouth Florida, where I live.

It took me a couple of weeks to figure out how to hold ontothe beautiful feeling of intimacy, connect, and acceptance,while shifting that into a sensual feelings. At first, there wasa lot of focus on a lot of the internal sensations I wasfeeling, and learning how to internally relax and let thingsflow.

Before I tell you about what I did next, I’ll let you in on

some of the other things that were happening at that point…

My thoughts. For the first time ever, on a regular basis, inmeditation, were becoming linear. If you’ve ever tried to doa visualization exercise you may know the feeling of attempting to imagine something, only to find no linear orlogical sequence taking place in your mind.

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For example, you could try to imagine driving to a goodfriend’s house. You know when you drive to that friend’shouse in real life; you get there by traveling in a linear

sequence. If you were to try to visualize that same trip,your mind may start in the garage, then imagine beinghalfway there, then go back to the garage, to rearrangesome thoughts, then a quarter of the way there, maybe in adifferent looking car altogether, then back to pulling out thento…You get the idea, right?

For me, in other visualization exercises this happenedfrequently. Within a period of just a few weeks, when the

focus was on intimacy, connection, internal connection, andlove, those thoughts lined up and arranged themselves sovividly that it actually seemed as though what I wasimagining, was happening.

That was nothing short of miraculous to me! For the firsttime, I felt that I actually understood concepts that wereexplained to me over and over again about meditation.Interesting that when I focused on what was one of the

single most powerful driving forces in my life, it seemed asthough my thoughts were able to move mountains!

In addition to the visual part becoming amazingly accurateand lifelike, I was also able to deeply feel the thoughts Ichose to use. I was able to feel intimacy, connection – and Iwas able to feel making love as vividly as I imagined it. Insome ways that was a challenge, which brings us back tohow I decided to handle it when things became “too intense” 

to deal with.

I decided to, vividly imagine orgasm while doing thebodywork I had been trained to do at the American YogaFoundation, let my whole body go into release. That way, Ifelt that I could feel naturally complete with the practice!

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So the next night, when things started to get to that point.When things started to build, to surge, to boil. When fireflowed through every molecule of my existence I did it.

As vividly as my mind knew, I imagined orgasm. Whathappened next was completely unexpected. My whole bodywas uncontrollably shaking as I was overwhelmed by myown sensuality, as if it were the peak in a real lifelovemaking session. Muscles used in orgasm involuntarilycontracted. My body tensed. My body pulsed. Wow! I letthe images drift out of my mind. I opened my eyes andthere I was at the beach. Fully dressed, no mess, yetfeeling as though I had just made love…Fifty minutes had

passed. I lost time. I felt high, and it felt great!

Of course, this was something I wanted to repeat. And Iwas able to the next time I practiced. It was amazing. Themore I practiced, the more I began to understand howinternal energies or sensations work, and how to relaxcertain sensations at certain times to make the wholeexperience even more powerful.

Outside of practice I felt that people were looking at medifferently. When I would go out, people seemed togravitate towards me more. It was kind of strange. I didn’teven have to speak. I felt as though communication, onmany levels was easier much more open. I thought that Ifelt people, much more deeply than I had know before. Iwas more confident, more balanced, happier and morepeaceful internally. It’s a wonderful feeling! Now, it’s yourturn!

Closing:

What level you choose to take this practice is completely upto you, and there are no wrong answers. I have outlinedand shared what I have personally done. There are times Iwill practice just feeling a lover with me and nothing more.

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There are also times I will take myself through the entirepractice. So much of it depends on what I feel my ownpersonal needs are – and honoring those needs. I feel thisis a tool that can help you overcome the type of loneliness

associated with relationships and lovers. I know it has forme.

How frequently you choose to practice is entirely up to you.I would strongly urge you to practice at least 6 days perweek for the first 12 weeks – if you are in a position wherethere is a strong desire to not be where you are right now interms of your love life. Again, what you do and how youchoose to go about it is entirely up to you.

I do offer ongoing coaching via telephone that you may finduseful. You can contact us @ [email protected] to go about scheduling an appointment.

I sincerely wish you all the happiness in the world and all thefulfillment you could possibly desire. From my heart toyours, I wish for this practice to make your life moreenjoyable!

Namaste,Paul Bunting