tweets to god

7/30/2019 Tweets to God

1/5

Tweets to God

Yours,

if not faithfully

then at least sincerely

by(secular)Pamela Olson

Tweets to GodYours, if not faithfully then at least sincerely byPamela Olson

Page 1 of 5


2/5

Dear "God", Isn't your confession-and-absolution gig unbalanced? Yours, if not#faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", why are you thegreatest #warmonger of all #time?Yours, if not #faithfully then atleast #sincerely

Dear "God", don't you thin the#!ocalyse is #etreme#management? Yours, if not#faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", Your #$aster is ersecution, betrayal, crucifiion, resurrection, and a

bunny? Yours, if not #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", Isn't selling #sal%ation in & easy ()*)) installments selling Yourself short?Yours, if not #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", You are e%erywhere, correct? +hat maes you the #ultimate #%oyeur*Yours, if not #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", ow can it be #re-marital #se if no #intention of #marriage? Yours, if not#faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", hy are you so bad-temered? Yours, if not #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", You're all-nowing, right? God is not a good brand name for a god* Yours,if not #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", You noced u a .ary without her consent, right? +hat's #rae, isn't it*Yours, if not #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", hy are you a #bigot? Yours, if not #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", You're all-owerful, right? /o why do you always need money? Yours, ifnot #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", hy are you a #racist? Yours, if not #faithfully then at least #sincerely


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3/5

Dear "God", hy are you a #seist? Yours, if not #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", hy are you #anti-marriage? Yours, if not #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", hy are you #anti-family? Yours, if not #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", hy did you ersonally mae #.ary an #unwed #teen #mother? Yours, ifnot #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", hy isn't +hou /halt 0ot 1eat 2 ife 3 Girlfriend a commandment?Yours, if not #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", Do you re4uire #hats to #co%er #men's #bald #sots? Yours, if not

#faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", ow is#$l%is? /o many want tonow Yours, if not#faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", hy isn't+hou /halt 0ot Deal .eth

and eroin +o 5hildren acommandment? Yours, ifnot #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", hyisn't +hou /halt 0ota%e /e ith5hildren acommandment?Yours, if not

#faithfully then atleast #sincerely

Dear "God", Isn't it a #roblem one has to 6I7/+ #die to go to #ea%en? Yours, if not#faithfully then at least #sincerely


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4/5

Dear "God", hy are you +he #!merican God and +he #un!merican God? Yours, ifnot #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", !re you #worried some #lawyer or a #billion, will #sue you for what is#wrong? Yours, if not #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", hy isn't +hou /halt 0ot urt !nimals a #commandment? Yours, if not#faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", hy do you and your #followers #hate so much? Yours, if not #faithfullythen at least #sincerely

Dear "God", Don't you thin your way or ell is the ultimate elitist? Yours, if not#faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", hy isn't +hou /halt 0ot 7ae a commandment? Yours, if not #faithfullythen at least #sincerely

Dear "God", hy don't you #embrace #Darwin and tae #credit for his #wor? Yours, ifnot #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", Don't you thin your #ea%enis the ultimate gated community? Yours, ifnot #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", hy does your 1ible loo lieit was written to mae money for a selectfew? Yours, if not #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", hy are you a #misogynist?Yours, if not #faithfully then at least #sincerely

Dear "God", hy do you bloc +weeters?Yours, if not #faithfully then at least #sincerely


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5/5

5oyright 8 9::; - 9:;9 by Pamela Olson

!ll rights reser%ed* !ll wrongs re%enged*Itunie, 1on %i%ant,rofessor, !uthor, ife, and

Landlord Extraordinaire

aa oinionated*

ay all your storms !e "eathered,

and all that is good get !etter*


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