turning the pages through grief

FEBRUARY2018 “

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If you’re grieving, you may feel as though your world has just come to a screeching halt. Perhaps life seems to have sent you into a spiral and finding your center

again may take some time. It might seem as though sitting still is really no direction at all, but for many, this is a difficult discipline to master. Here are some ways to combat spinning in grief circles.

Meditate. The practice of meditation is just that. Meditation is not simply sitting cross-legged with your eyes closed or staring at the wall in front of you. Meditation is more about deep breathing while existing in harmony with the universe around you. Your world may have radically changed, depending upon whom you’ve lost. It is human nature to want to hang on to people or things that have been taken from us. Imagine a world where we simply let go and let things gravitate toward and or away from us in their own time. Meditation takes discipline. You may find that simply refusing to allow your mind to become overwhelmed by all that you are feeling or by all that you need to do, takes practice.

Take a moment each day to do something that you thoroughly enjoy. Whether that is sitting in a park feeding the birds, or listening to music. As you have

noticed, life does not stop, even though we are in pain. Traffic lights still turn from green to red. The sun continues to rise and set. If the thing that you most enjoy previously included the person you’ve lost, perhaps now is the perfect time to find something new to enjoy. A change of scenery is often a catalyst for new thought processes to begin making headway. Simply going for a daily walk may refresh you.

Sustain yourself with purpose. Your appetite may not be what it once was. For many people, grieving can eliminate what was once a healthy appetite. This doesn’t mean that you can’t still enjoy preparing a beautiful meal. Even if you will only take a few bites, remember that an important part of eating is done with the eyes. If you take the time to prepare a culinary delight, rather than simply heating something in the microwave, you may find indulging in that meal comes easier. A bonus may be that you find cooking therapeutic. Don’t be afraid to pour a glass of wine, if you’d like, put on some music and dirty every pot and pan you own.

Stay fit. You might be thinking, “How am I sitting still, if I am getting fit?” There are a number of things you can do to help your body stay strong and limber without moving at a fast pace. Yoga is an excellent way to exercise and

Grief is the price we pay for love.—Queen Elizabeth II

Sitting Sitting

By Paulette LeBlanc

Still Still

Sitting Still

“Providing Comfort To Families”www.familyfuneralhome.net

Mandy Luikens & Tiffany A. HoferOwners/Funeral Directors

Highmore, SD ● 605-852-2432 Miller, SD ● 605-853-3127Gettysburg, SD ● 605-765-9637 Faulkton, SD ● 605-598-4141

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The purpose of this newsletter is to share thoughts and insights from a variety of sources on how to live richly and meaningfully through all of life’s chapters.

Created and owned by Madsen Ink, Co. • Copyright 2018chaptersnewsletter@comcast.net

meditate simultaneously. If you feel that the practice of Yoga simply isn’t for you, deep stretching can be another wonderfully relaxing and healthy break for your body. We are often much more tense than we realize. Even getting a massage is considered “Body Work.” A massage therapist will be able to get deep into muscles you might not have used for a while. After all, grieving can feel like being put through an emotional wringer. Since studies have shown that emotional turmoil can manifest

physically, pampering the physical body while under stress is important. No matter what you choose to do with your time, remember to make decisions that will ultimately help you

to process what you are experiencing in a healthy way.

Being kind to yourself has never been more important than while you are grieving. Keep in mind that though time may sometimes seem endless, this is just a season.

turning the pages through grief

Paulette LeBlanc, who is trained in family counseling, is a published author, editor and freelance writer, who currently resides on the Gulf Coast of Florida.

...pampering yourphysical body while

under stress isimportant.

t age 73, Manuel prided himself on having the Aenergy of a man half his age. He bicycled three mornings each week and worked hard to eat a

low fat diet with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables. However, like most people who have experienced the death of a close loved one, Manuel had never experienced the kind of fatigue that comes in the early months of bereavement.

Thinking surely something must be wrong, he set up an appointment to see his family doctor, the same physician who had been his and his late wife, Mary’s doctor for nearly two decades. When he got in to see Dr. Maxwell, Manuel’s words were plain and direct: “I just don’t have any energy. By the end of the day, I’m just ’wiped out.’ I don’t know what is wrong with me.” Fortunately, his family doctor knew the explanation for the problem. “You aren’t sick, Manuel; you are grieving,” his wise physician replied.

What can you do if you feel overwhelmed by the fatigue of grief? Here are some strategies that have proven helpful for many people.

Accept the temporary “normalcy” of being tired.Make sure you balance your priorities.Take good care of your physical well-being.

Fatigue can be your friend. This natural bodily response to stress reminds you that you need extra rest right now, even though sleep often comes fitfully at best. Even so, you will benefit from participating in the activities that most help you relax and find rejuvenation.

The Exhausionof Grief

yagottalaugh

Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief Martha Whitmore Hickman

* Dr. Bill Hoy teaches at Baylor University in Waco, Texas. He is widely regarded as an authority on the sociocultural history of funeral rites, the topic of his most recent book: Do Funerals Matter: The Purposes and Practices of Death Rituals in Global Perspective (Routledge, 2013).

footnotes* by Bill Hoy

Amazon Reader Review:Someone suggested this book, after I lost my 32-year-old daughter to cancer. I ordered it, tried to read it, and put it down. It stayed stacked with other books, for two years. The beginning of this year I came across it again, opened and read. Now, I can finally read and appreciate it. It is six days until my daughter’s birthday (my Valentine’s baby), and this excerpt especially touched my heart.

“It surprises us. We know it’s a fluke. We know it won’t last. Happiness? Contentment? Joy? And not just a quick flash of joy, of contentment-- as when we are lifted up on wings of song--or by prayer--or by a spectacular sky--or because of a daisy blooming in some field. But a sense that in some way we are going to be able, after all this, to be happy! Whoever would have thought it?”

Now that I can finally read this book, it has brought smiles and tears and is helping me heal even more. I wrote this so that those that are walking this road of shards of glass, when it has turned into a path of pebbles, can pick this up, read and meditate. By the way, it is still a work in progress; I have many more days of happiness, joy and peace since I made that decision than before.