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The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

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Page 1: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

The Wave of Police Involved Domestic ViolenceThe Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

Page 2: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

Domestic Violence Needs to End Today• One Solution doesn’t fit all

• We are A Fast Pace, Disposable Community

• We under estimate Domestic Violence and the Danger

• We are a Society of Denial

• We are a Society of Justification and Revision

• Change is difficult, takes effort and takes time

Page 3: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

The DV Circle for US…

DV Procedure

• Call the Police/911

• Go to a shelter

• Have him arrested

• Take him to court

• File Charges against him

• Protective Order/ Peace Bond

• Seek a conviction

The Truth

• He is the Police/911

• He knows where the shelters are

• Responding officers may invoke the code of silence, many try to talk you out of it.

• The system is his job, he knows it well plus the attorneys and judges.

• It’s a piece of paper only……..

• It’s your word against a Police Officer

• He will probably lose his job and retaliate against you.

Page 4: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

FactsHas A Gun and Knows How To Use It

40% of all Law Enforcement is involved in DV

Knows the Judges

Works daily with nonprofits

Can exchange favors with shady people

Trained in Tactical Maneuvers

Can get into almost every database

Knows the legal system

Brotherhood with law enforcement (LEO’s)

Access to GPS Tracking

Trained in Interrogations

Knows where the shelters are

Works with lawyers and DA’s

Brotherhood with fire department

Access to Phone Tapping equipment

Trained Investigations

Knows how to track / stalk

Works with Shelters

Brotherhood with First responders

Has access to cell phone tracking GPS

Trained in Legal Procedures

Badge can get info not authorized without questions

Works with DSS

Leo’s, 1st Responders, Fire are everywhere: eyes and ears

The list goes on

Page 5: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

The Shelter’s Dilemmas• Shelters’ have the responsibility to protect their clients and staff. Law

Enforcement DV clients pose a higher risk to the safety of the shelter.

• Shelters must have a working relationship with the police department. Our clients are in a rock and a hard place on this one.

• Many clients in the shelters are dangerous to our clients.

• Shelters are mostly now funded by DSS. Most of our clients can’t use DSS if in hiding, their abuser have full access to the DSS database.

• Shelters don’t understand our Police Talk and our environment

• Shelters are immediate SHORT term solutions

• Some DV Shelters now also have clients who are homeless, newly released from jail…

• Shelters are getting better about Police Involved Domestic Violence Situations, but…

Page 6: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

DV Shelter Must Protect Clients and StaffOur clients abuser are more dangerous.

Our Abusers know where the shelters are.

Our abusers are required by their job and law to carry a gun.

The DV Shelters have a responsibility to keep clients and staff safe and our clients’ unique situation poses a threat. Sometimes it’s too dangerous.

Page 7: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

Shelters Must Have a Working Relationship with the PoliceOur biggest problem.

Shelters are Dependent on Police Protection.

Page 8: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

Many of the DV Clients in the shelters put our Clients in danger.Many of the people in the shelter may have had or are having other legal issues in their lives, they may have even been arrested by our abuser or trying to win points by telling their police contacts our clients are there.

Page 9: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

DSS has become one of the biggest funders for Shelters• Many Shelters REQUIRE that you apply to DSS, DSS is a

database law enforcement has access to.

• Many Shelters require you to provide your own food, which forces you to apply for Food Stamps…DSS

• When you enter the Shelter, you are designated HOMELESS for Grant Reason, which puts you on the HMIS database, the many shelters do not know this nor understand this. LEO access to this is instant. Many shelters require you to sign or write up a statement so they can document you for the granting process.

Page 10: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

POLICE TALK AND ENVIRONMENT• For those outside of law enforcement, listening to a conversation

between two police officers - or just listening to a police radio - may seem like you're trying to decipher an entirely different language.

• We are used to using these terms in our normal language because this is what our other halves know and use.

• One of our clients told us while in a meeting they couldn’t relate to the group, one of the girls was talking about visiting her mother in jail and the many times being arrested, then turned to her and asked her how many times her mother had been arrested and how much time she had served. She explained to her that her mother didn’t even have a traffic ticket and she had never been in jail. The mood changed and the other clients didn’t treat her the same and she felt in danger.

Page 11: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

Shelters are SHORT TERM Solutions• Shelter stays can be from 30 days to 90 on an average.

• Shelters are mostly set up to send their clients to DSS for low income housing, transitional housing and Food Stamps. That is the fast pace solutions and funding for the shelters.

• Shelters sometime insist you get a restraining order. In case you don’t know, that is just a simple piece of paper and if the abuser is willing to beat you, that piece of paper isn’t going to stop him.

• If our clients get a restraining order, their other halves are required to be suspended until court dates, are required to give up guns and badges. For those outside of law enforcement, listening to a conversation between two police officers - or just listening to a police radio - may seem like you're trying to decipher an entirely different language. This is their life and livelihood. Now they can become more angry with nothing else to lose…….

Page 12: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

The Truth About Domestic Violence Name Change• Finally a solution or is it???........

• New Name, New Social Security Number BUT>>>

• New name but No Birth Certificate, which means NO Passport and in some states NO Drivers License

• No Education, No High School or College Diploma

• No Work History

• No Credit History

• And it gets so much better……..read on………….

Page 13: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

New Name……New Social Security• No Social Security, you are starting fresh

• No Retirement benefits from all your previous hard work...all gone….

• No Savings

• It’s a court proceeding but not sealed…….so it’s public record. Your abuser is Law Enforcement and will be notified as soon as it becomes official court record

• The credit agencies hire people to pick up all new court docs so they then can put it on your credit history for all to see

• You no longer can claim your children because the name no longer exists

Page 14: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

What People Think Is True and Say• Our clients were told they must be liars, this simply

can’t happen.

• This is illegal and can’t happen.

• The police would never do these things.

• You must be doing something wrong in your life.

• You could write a book and become rich.

Page 15: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

Stories from our Real Clients• I went to a DV shelter, filled out paperwork. This shelter ran a

credit check on me and called my husband’s work to verify he was a police officer. He was notified and was there in two days to get me, I had run to 5 states away. That was a waste of time plus the abuse when I got home was worse than ever.

• The DV shelter told me there was no hope or help for me and suggested I go back and come up with a better solution or try and work it out.

• When I told my pastor to pray for me in private, he said he would need to know my situation, I told him. He then told me he required me to give him my abusers name and number so he could call him, give him my new address to inform him I was under the authority of GOD and the church. WHAT??? I no longer went there.

Page 16: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

DV True Stories• My church called the other local churches because I had been

relocated and wasn’t a local. Made a point to report me to the other churches, saying my story could not be true. I wasn’t asking anything from them but because I was an outsider they felt it was their responsibility.

• I was in a DV shelter in one state, he found me and they relocated me. He also had broken into my email and found out who I had been talking with. I no longer used that email but he contacted my contacts as me and made up crazy stories. One person, a friend I thought, after several months, I contacted her to tell her I was OK, she had become friends with him and she called the shelter I was at and the agencies telling them I was crazy and not to be trusted. My X and her married a year later, I had to relocate again. I was just notified by another friend that she is now in a DV shelter running for her life.

Page 17: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

True DV Stories• Our client was in a DV shelter in one state, her X found her and we

relocated her to another shelter. He had broken into her email and found her friends, contacted them, friending the one person with his sweet talk. That One person, a friend she thought, Our clients contacted her to tell her she was OK, Not knowing her X and her now were lovers. This so called friend called the shelter and the agencies telling them she was crazy and not to be trusted. She found a off the wall crazy Christian shelter who one day drove her to the bus station and left her off. That DV shelter is responsible for her death, because of lack of funding she lived in the woods and homeless shelter for a bit until we got her again. This So called friend and her X married a year later. One day our client disappeared, she had called us saying she thinks she was being followed and she thought someone was in her house, we knew he took her but can’t prove anything, she would have called us but it’s been more than 3 years. Karma is Hell, One year after her friend married her X, she ran away and called us for help. We helped her, but we miss our client who was so dear to our heart.

Page 18: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

DV True Stories• My DV shelter was very understanding and helpful, but

they had no solutions, they suggested I go to churches and ask for help. I did, one church told me I must have sin in my life and I need to go back. Another church told me to go to the local homeless shelter, but I told them I was in a DV shelter for protection. Another church tried to get me into a program of housing with all newly released male prisoners and homeless men in the woods without transportation, communication or anyone on site with authority. I would be the only female…who was in law enforcement and abuser was in law enforcement in with 200 newly early released prisoner and homeless??

Page 19: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

DV True Stories• After doing my research, I ran away at 60 years old, he had retired but I

was in fear of my life. I found a Catholic DV shelter, I thought. I drove across the US to get there. I moved in, they then required me to go to Catholic Charities and had a prewritten request they had me sign, asking for $300.00 to be donated to them for my stay. The clients there were all just released or had been released from jail and the program was part DV and part transitional housing. It was in a Catholic Building but it was run by a woman from another religion who then forced us to attend her crazy church and nightly bible studies and told that I must repent my worship of idols since I was Catholic. My cell phone was confiscated and I had to report to her daily my day. Also we were required to do hard work to clean this shelter, 5 hours a day, 7 days a week. I was put on suspension and my privileges were taken away for attending Mass on Sunday at my Catholic church. I went back and he almost killed me for leaving. He died that month from a heart attack and now I am a team member of this group, helping others like myself.

Page 20: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

True Stories• The shelter I was in, housed DV as a priority but most of the

people there were homeless women. We were physically searched each time we came into the shelter, we were drug tested weekly. I felt violated.

• My shelter housed many women, my room had 10 sets of bunk beds and 10 people sleeping on the floor with mats. We had to leave the shelter at 7 am and had to return back by 6pm but could check in starting at 3pm. I felt this was dangerous for me because I could be spotted easily by one of our friends or his coworkers.

• In my shelter, my bed had syringes/needles in it from one of the other girls hiding her drugs. I could only stay there one day because of the drugs and just crazy people there.

Page 21: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

True DV Stories• I was kicked out of the shelter because I was at the library

applying for jobs. We had all arrived in a group, the director drove us because there was no transportation but the director. I went right to the far side of the library but could hear my fellow shelter people making noise and causing trouble. The library lady approached our ride and told her of what had happened. That night we had a meeting, they kicked the girls out but gave me two extra day, saying they know it wasn’t me but it was a decision by staff that the group all had to go. I didn’t have anywhere to go so I went back home, he almost killed me a week after I got home. He was so angry and one day he just took it out on me. He lost his job and I was in the hospital for a week. Now after 5 years, I am stalked and live in fear.

Page 22: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

TRUE DV SHELTER STORIES• My shelter stay added more stress in my life, my roommate was

bi-polar and wasn’t on her medicine. One night she just started hitting me for no reason. We were required to attend meeting and several times a night they had volunteers to come in and we were required to attend them also. One night I called her the Crazy Christian lady, last year she had gotten into a car accident while drinking and killed a boy, in jail she found Jesus and now hears God. Her knowledge of the Bible was limited but she came in with her Christian music and we had to sing with her. I don’t believe in talking in tongues, but was forced to do so. Another person came in with magazines that we had, to cut out photo’s of how we were feeling, I felt this was childish. My next roommate was just crazy, she walked around naked singing at the top of her lungs. The one after that, smuggled in her boyfriend and told me not to tell or she would kill me. I went back home.

Page 23: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

True DV Stories• Horrible is all I can say. We were searched everything we

would come in, our items were searched daily while we were gone, they ran background checks on us, they drug tested us, they would come in our room several times a night to do counts of who was there. I felt like I had done something wrong. They questioned everything we said, we had to prove if we had gone out, where we had gone. I had to bring a church bulletin home when I went to church. My cell phone was taken every night at 9 pm. I found out they kept a log of my text messages and phone log. I was called into the directors office, she asked why I called my husbands work. I had called the police station because the officer who arrested my husband on DV Charges called me. She didn’t believe me and I had to call this officer and she had to confirm my story. I felt I am 32 years old and I was in jail.

Page 24: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

True DV Stories• My first week in the DV shelter I had a heart attack and was

rushed to the hospital. Because I was a DV client, the hospital enrolled me under a fake name. My heart doctor came in the next day and noticed scars on my legs and arms. He questioned me, I told him my husband had tortured me with his cigarettes. He asked me where I lived, I told him at a DV shelter and a little bit about my story, he left the room. The next thing I know I am being taken up to the crazy ward. I yelled at the doctor WHY? He told me he called the DV shelter and they told him they couldn’t confirm or deny I was a client, so I had made it all up and I was a danger to myself and they strapped me down and medicated me, I woke up the next day back in my private room. The DV director had to come into the hospital and get the hospital director to have me released. I woke up so mad, I got dressed and walked out.

Page 25: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

This is just a Short Presentation of LEO DV• There is so much more we can cover but we just wanted

to touch on some points and provide you with some of our information.

• There is no one solution, each case of DV is different, unique.

• Sometimes we can repair and go back to the person we love.

• Sometimes we have to run and hide.

• We just need people to know and understand.

Page 26: The Wave of Police Involved Domestic Violence The Lack Of Understanding by S’entraider Domestic Violence Group

S’entraider, means helping each other• We are not paid

• We do not take grants

• We fund our selves

• We understand, because we have been there

• Our website is even free http://sentraider.webs.com

• Our Facebook Community is at https://www.facebook.com/Sentraider1

Thank You!