the jungle drums

MARCH no 69

COVERING.... Gran Alacant, Santa Pola, La Marina, Guardamar, Rojales, Catral, Albatera, Hondons, La Romana & Pinoso.

Still probably the CHEAPEST & most EFFECTIVE advertising rates on the Costa !

This month

www.thejungledrums.com

The story behind the most important fishing port in the Med’ – Santa PolaIntroduced by the Mayor of Santa Pola, MIGUEL ZARAGOZA

the ESSENTIAL read for expats

in spain !

F0R THE LOCALS BY THE L0CALS

Incorporating the INLAND paes….

Full of jokes, fun

and businesses in the

campo!

plus loads of

valuableinformation & advice…

and much much

more!

‘You’ve got it good’, there you go - someone

else said that to me (again) the other day.

Good? I’ve got a teenage son, and a dog

that’s a managed to build up, in a very

short space of time, a reputation as a bit of

a slapper.

Bloody hell…he’s 18 this month (my son,

Mitch –not the dog). The 6th to be exact,

and here I was planning on writing about

spring and fluffy bunnies, but eighteen…

bloody hell!

It goes so quick, doesn’t it? What I have

noticed is that, like rings on a tree, you

can tell how old they are by how often the

fridge opens. But blimey, 18! Forgive me,

but where did it go? Is it like that for all

parents when their kids come of age? As

always, being a parent, you learn as you go

– or ‘winging it’, which seems apt, but this

seems to have come along all of a sudden.

It seems like only yesterday that I was

clearing up behind him…oh, turns out it was

yesterday.

But it wasn’t that long ago, I’m sure, that

he was the perfect height to head-butt

me in the ‘nuggets’, which was the polite

name in the house at the time, and when

he started playing rugby, and very well too,

(aged 5). Golf too (at the same age) and

yeah, he was good at that too – winning his

first tournament aged six.

Then came motorbikes….my passion. It was

inevitable, I guess, that he’d want to ‘have

a go’ after helping in the pits when me and

my fellow racer (JD photographer, Mark

Welton) raced a few years ago. However, he

was headstrong – all throttle and no slowing

down – when he started, but he showed

potential. The next time out he took me by

surprise a couple of times and I had to work

hard, (really hard) to keep in front. Our last

outing resulted in a triumph of experience

over enthusiasm as Dad stayed on the track

while the young pretender ate dirt…literally.

A combination of racing everything in sight,

cold tyres, and a heavy throttle led to a

crash at around 60mph and a broken bike,

ruined leathers and, oh yeah…he broke his

wrist. Now, as bad as this may sound…I’m

glad he broke his wrist that day, and for

good reason. Because if he’d stayed on

for the next lap – when I came onto the

track on my bike– he would have beat me.

Despite the fact that I had a much more

powerful bike, he still would have beaten

me. And I couldn’t have that could I?

Now I look at him at 18 years old and he’s

teaching people to Scuba Dive and showing

more responsibility than I had at that age

(ok…and now) and I realise why I didn’t

want him to beat me that day. He didn’t

need to really, apart from the bragging

rights which I flimsily hold on to, he and I

both know that he’s overtaken me in some

things and oh, boy, does it make me proud.

And for all the cock ups his mum and I

made, we got one thing absolutely spot

on...and he’s in the bloody fridge again!

He’s gonna kill me when he sees this…

By the time you read this you will have noticed some-thing missing in your life here in Spain. It is with a heavy

heart that I write to you this month, with the sad news that Campo will no longer light up your life every month. I have had to make the heart breaking decision not to continue.

During the last few weeks while breaking the news to our clients, readers and distributors, many of whom have become friends to the team of Campo over the years from the very beginning of the crea-tion of Campo by Peter until the last copy came off the press, last month. I saw sadness in each and everyone.

You will still see me around as I help to introduce our friend Dave from the Jungle Drums who will provide you with all your advertising needs and a few laughs along the way. He better or he will have me to answer too. (Scary thought).

I just wanted to take this opportunity to say Adios to you all, thanks for the laughs and who knows like Arnie says “HASTA LUEGO BABY”

Regards

Maureen

SO SAD ADIOS

4/5 SANTA FISHING... a look at the industry

9 ANDREA BURNS inheritance tax

13 ASK THE LAWYER... reposessions

16/17 GRAN ALACANT... santa pola & ga

21 PUZZLES... grey matter workout

23 LA MARINA... all the Urb news 25 LETTERS... oh do you...?

26/7 MAP OF LA MARINA... guide to the urb

28-36 INLAND pages fun & business

37 NATURE... name that bird 41 MOTORING... the right way of doing it

43 COMPUTERS... are you lost...?

47 NIGEL JARDINE... getting your head around 49 HOROSCOPES... the only real ones ever.52/3 SMALL ADS... local businesses

55 BUSINESS DIRECTORY... all the businesses

this month

COVER SHOT

AT THE END OF THE DAYA Santa Pola fisherman hands over the fruit of a very hard day’s labour.Photo: Mark Weltonwww.foto23.info

4 STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 408

SantaFishing as a way of life.

A History Linked To The Sea

The first settlers in Santa Pola lived, during the Neolithic Period,

in “La Cueva de las Arañas”, a cave in the Carabassi area. From

time immemorial different cultures have left their archaeological

remains in Santa Pola. The Iberians: a walled settlement from the 4th

century BC called La Picola, where they traded with the Greeks. The Ro-

mans: a port which was the key to maritime trade: the “Portus Illicitanus”.

Miguel Zaragoza tells us that “during the 16th century the

Fortress-Castle and the watch towers were built to protect the population

from the pirates –the Berbers– who had settled in the island of Tabarca.

The fortification and later expulsion of the pirates from the island, in the

18th century, helped the permanent establishment of a centre of popula-

tion around the Castle, named Santa Pola, whose main economic activity

consisted of fishing. It became an independent town in 1812”.

“The current port has a location different from the historical one,

due to the establishment of the Royal Customs in Santa Pola in 1844,

which helped the construction of the present quay. The years between

1950 and 1973 were its real splendour period, when it became the first

fishing port of the Spanish Mediterranean, taking the number of boats and

the unloading of fresh fish in consideration. Its fleet was distributed be-

tween the Atlantic and Mediterranean fishing grounds, in total 130 boats,

with 90% trawling and the rest devoted to lesser arts. There were good

days for the fishing in Santa Pola”, admits the mayor.

The Port Of Santa Pola TodayIn the 21st century the fleet has decreased, although 80 boats go on with

4 main specialities: trawling, fishing line, fish trap and “trasmallo”. The

nautical activity is very important, with the port of the yacht club (Club

Náutico Santa Pola) and a sports marina (Marina Miramar).

Miguel Zaragoza feels proud of the fact that ”the fish market

(lonja) is one of the most important of the Mediterranean Sea. Here, an

average of 3,000 boxes of fish are sold at auction every day, according to

a computerized system and the Dutch auction, that is, every box of fish

starts its auction at a high price and it goes down until the buyer thinks

it is correct, then he activates a remote control and the box is automati-

cally knocked. Later, the box goes out thanks to a conveyor belt with an

identity label where the buyer’s name, the date of the capture, the way

of fishing used, the name of the boat and the bar code for public health

inspection are shown.

Santa Pola is a synonym for sea, fishing, salt, nature, beach…This quite village of Alicante surrounded by the Mediterranean has a deep connection with fish-ing from the beginning of the days. We spoke to its mayor, Miguel Zaragoza, about the past, present and future of the town.

PolaThe Quality Trade Mark “Peix De Santa Pola”Miguel Zaragoza Fernández is the mayor of Santa Pola from 2003. Al-

though he is a nurse, he started his career on a fishing boat, like many

other youngters of Santa Pola, and he could know personally the hard

work in the middle of the sea: “the world of the fishing is so deep-rooted

in our town that it is inseparable of any other activity. Everything here has

a link to the sea. All the families still have, directly or indirectly, a member

who depends on the fishing industry”.

The mayor explains to us “from the town hall we are working side

by side with the Fishermen’s Association (Cofradía de Pescadores) look-

ing for the best possible quality of life for the seamen and their families.

Thanks to that collaboration and to the excellent work of the Major Skip-

per of the Cofradía, José Ramón García, and our councillor for fishing

Loreto Serrano, the mark “Peix de Santa Pola” was born 6 years ago,

whose aim is to promote the quality of our fresh fish and to complement

the fishing activity with the gastronomic tourism, thanks to our traditional

and varied gastronomy based on fish and shellfish of the bay. The qual-

ity of all those products and the good cooks make eating in Santa Pola a

must for the visitors”.

The fish shops and restaurants of any corner of Spain which buys fish and

shellfish in our fish market get the quality emblem “Peix de Santa Pola”,

which has already become a symbol very valued by the consumer.

According to Miguel Zaragoza, “we have managed to give value

to the species that were not demanded in the market and were thrown

away. Now, we can say satisfactorily that the Cofradía has not any excess,

everything is sold”. Moreover, the Cofradía created its own selling point of

fish where we can buy fresh fish of very good price.

Finally, just to say our mayor is the greatest defender of “Peix de

Santa Pola” because when you buy it you can be completely sure of what

you are eating. Our fish has all the legal procedures of sanitary revisions

and its quality is more than excellent. “I would like to invite you to con-

sume “Peix de Santa Pola”, the fish of our town because you will help the

sailor men of our town and you will enjoy one of the best quality products

than you can find”.

next month...we take a closer look at the fish, the boats and the people.

NEW LOW! LOW! ADVERTISING RATES - TEL. 606 540 408

SantaFishing as a way of life.

A History Linked To The Sea

The first settlers in Santa Pola lived, during the Neolithic Period,

in “La Cueva de las Arañas”, a cave in the Carabassi area. From

time immemorial different cultures have left their archaeological

remains in Santa Pola. The Iberians: a walled settlement from the 4th

century BC called La Picola, where they traded with the Greeks. The Ro-

mans: a port which was the key to maritime trade: the “Portus Illicitanus”.

Miguel Zaragoza tells us that “during the 16th century the

Fortress-Castle and the watch towers were built to protect the population

from the pirates –the Berbers– who had settled in the island of Tabarca.

The fortification and later expulsion of the pirates from the island, in the

18th century, helped the permanent establishment of a centre of popula-

tion around the Castle, named Santa Pola, whose main economic activity

consisted of fishing. It became an independent town in 1812”.

“The current port has a location different from the historical one,

due to the establishment of the Royal Customs in Santa Pola in 1844,

which helped the construction of the present quay. The years between

1950 and 1973 were its real splendour period, when it became the first

fishing port of the Spanish Mediterranean, taking the number of boats and

the unloading of fresh fish in consideration. Its fleet was distributed be-

tween the Atlantic and Mediterranean fishing grounds, in total 130 boats,

with 90% trawling and the rest devoted to lesser arts. There were good

days for the fishing in Santa Pola”, admits the mayor.

The Port Of Santa Pola TodayIn the 21st century the fleet has decreased, although 80 boats go on with

4 main specialities: trawling, fishing line, fish trap and “trasmallo”. The

nautical activity is very important, with the port of the yacht club (Club

Náutico Santa Pola) and a sports marina (Marina Miramar).

Miguel Zaragoza feels proud of the fact that ”the fish market

(lonja) is one of the most important of the Mediterranean Sea. Here, an

average of 3,000 boxes of fish are sold at auction every day, according to

a computerized system and the Dutch auction, that is, every box of fish

starts its auction at a high price and it goes down until the buyer thinks

it is correct, then he activates a remote control and the box is automati-

cally knocked. Later, the box goes out thanks to a conveyor belt with an

identity label where the buyer’s name, the date of the capture, the way

of fishing used, the name of the boat and the bar code for public health

inspection are shown.

Santa Pola is a synonym for sea, fishing, salt, nature, beach…This quite village of Alicante surrounded by the Mediterranean has a deep connection with fish-ing from the beginning of the days. We spoke to its mayor, Miguel Zaragoza, about the past, present and future of the town.

PolaThe Quality Trade Mark “Peix De Santa Pola”Miguel Zaragoza Fernández is the mayor of Santa Pola from 2003. Al-

though he is a nurse, he started his career on a fishing boat, like many

other youngters of Santa Pola, and he could know personally the hard

work in the middle of the sea: “the world of the fishing is so deep-rooted

in our town that it is inseparable of any other activity. Everything here has

a link to the sea. All the families still have, directly or indirectly, a member

who depends on the fishing industry”.

The mayor explains to us “from the town hall we are working side

by side with the Fishermen’s Association (Cofradía de Pescadores) look-

ing for the best possible quality of life for the seamen and their families.

Thanks to that collaboration and to the excellent work of the Major Skip-

per of the Cofradía, José Ramón García, and our councillor for fishing

Loreto Serrano, the mark “Peix de Santa Pola” was born 6 years ago,

whose aim is to promote the quality of our fresh fish and to complement

the fishing activity with the gastronomic tourism, thanks to our traditional

and varied gastronomy based on fish and shellfish of the bay. The qual-

ity of all those products and the good cooks make eating in Santa Pola a

must for the visitors”.

The fish shops and restaurants of any corner of Spain which buys fish and

shellfish in our fish market get the quality emblem “Peix de Santa Pola”,

which has already become a symbol very valued by the consumer.

According to Miguel Zaragoza, “we have managed to give value

to the species that were not demanded in the market and were thrown

away. Now, we can say satisfactorily that the Cofradía has not any excess,

everything is sold”. Moreover, the Cofradía created its own selling point of

fish where we can buy fresh fish of very good price.

Finally, just to say our mayor is the greatest defender of “Peix de

Santa Pola” because when you buy it you can be completely sure of what

you are eating. Our fish has all the legal procedures of sanitary revisions

and its quality is more than excellent. “I would like to invite you to con-

sume “Peix de Santa Pola”, the fish of our town because you will help the

sailor men of our town and you will enjoy one of the best quality products

than you can find”.

next month...we take a closer look at the fish, the boats and the people.

Opening HoursHorario

Lunes - Viernes Mon - Fri

9.00am - 14.00pm&

17.00pm - 20.00pm

Registration form on next page!

8 your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com16 THE CHEAPEST ADVERTISING ON THE COSTA !!- TEL 606 540 40840 THE CHEAPEST ADVERTISING ON THE COSTA !!- TEL 606 540 408

refo

r n nn

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RENOVATIONS

PARQUET FLOORING AND SYNTHETIC FLOORING

KITCHEN AND BATHROOM EQUIPMENT

PAINTING AND DECORATING

PLUMBING

ELECTRICAL WORK

HEATING

DOORS

WINDOWS

SEALED UNITS

PLASTERING

IRON WORK

AIR CONDITIONING

Everything You Need!AIR CONHot & Cold

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RADIATORSat Great Prices!!

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96 541 4040

Avda Escandinavia 72Altomar, 669Gran Alacant

Mobile: 660 417 845Email: [email protected]

CarsHouses

CommunitiesLife

AccidentsHealth

Business

Specific Products for Foreigners Living In Spain

with DISCOUNTS up to 30% on Cars !

10%DISCOUNT

For New Clients!

INSURANCE AGENTS

STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 408

9NEW LOW! LOW! ADVERTISING RATES - TEL. 606 540 408

An issue that concerns every British

property owner in Spain is the Spanish

Inheritance Tax. Firstly, there are two

major differences to the UK that I’d like to

point out:

1. The taxable person is the recipient.

The inheritance tax is levied on acquisi-

tions, not on transfers. In the UK, it is the

estate of the deceased which is subject to

tax. In Spain, the recipient of the lifetime

gift or inheritance is the taxpayer.

2. Spouses are not exempt.

In the UK, a spouse is generally an ex-

empt beneficiary. In Spain, that is not the

case. Spouses are taxed exactly the same

as adult children.

I have mentioned this in a previous article,

but it is worth repeating. Although you

“jointly” own your property, you are each

the sole owner of 50% of the property (the

classic case of a married couple, unless

you bought in different proportions and

stated as such in the deeds). Upon inherit-

ing your late spouse’s 50% share you will

have the same tax allowance as any adult

child, but you will not be exempt.

At the moment, the tax free allowance

for non-residents still stands at a mere

16,000€ for a spouse/adult child.

For residents it was raised to 40,000€ not

so long ago.

The tax office also grant a 99 percent tax

deduction to a resident

bereaved spouse. But

on the conditions that:

• both the deceased

and the heir are tax-

paying residents

• they have been

residing in the prop-

erty, that is the object

of said inheritance tax,

for a minimum of five

years

• they have been reg-

istered as such on the

Padrón.

Fiscal help... andrea burns

Tax &

Legal Services

SPANISH WILLS

NON-RES. CAPITAL GAINS TAX

NON-RESIDENTS’ INCOME TAX

FISCAL REPRESENTATION

RESIDENCE CERTIFICATES

N.I.E. NUMBERS

SPANISH PROBATE & INHERITANCES

CONVEYANCES

POWER OF ATTORNEY

URB. DON PUEBLO II BW 140GRAN ALACANT

96 669 7824 or 639 608 969

[email protected]

SPANISH INHERITANCE TAX

10 NEW LOW! LOW! ADVERTISING RATES - TEL. 606 540 408

Phone Eddie

TEL: 966 699 353 - MOBILE: 648 786 708

ALTOMAR FINE FINISHING

GRILLS

HANDRAILS GATES Mosquito nets & ALL METALWORK

Marine Galvanised for years Free of Maintenance

11WHY PAY MORE? the best ad prices- TEL. 606 540 408

TheBritish Dental Practice

103, Calle MadridUrb. La Marina

(off N-332 between Torrevieja & Santa Pola)

• WE CATER FOR NERVOUS PATIENTS• QUALITY AND AFFORDABLE• SAME DAY EMERGENCY TREATMENT• NATURAL SMILES AND BLEACHING• TOOTH COLOURED RESTORATIONS• SAME DAY DENTURE REPAIRS• CHILDREN WELCOME• NATURAL LOOKING DENTURES

Dr. Paul Saliba LDSUniversity of London 1981

TEL: 96 679 6603

From Gran Alacant: take the N332 to the La Marina Urbanisation. Look for a major left turning into the main street lined with bars etc. After Supervalu turn right, continue until you find bars and dentist on your left

12 your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com


- General Practice & Litigation

- Claims against builders/promoters

Advice on Tax Matters

- Accountancy for companies/self

employed

- English & Spanish Inheritance Advice

- Real Estate

- N.I.E. Numbers

- Power of Attorney, Bank Accounts

- Resident Permits

- Mortgages, Loans

- Notary Deed

- Registration of the deed at

- Land Registry

- Trademarks

- Spanish Wills

- Reposessions

- Traffic Accidents

- Changes of Foreign Cars

to Spanish Registration

Avda. Escandinavia, 72, C.C. Altomar II, Local 8, Manzana E, 03130

GRAN ALACANT (Santa Pola) Telf: 966 698 796 · Fax: 966 699 570

Espana - Spain · [email protected]

36

LONDON: 96-98 Baker Street W1 U6TJ LondonTel. 0044(0)20072241095

e-mail. [email protected]

It is obvious, and unfortunately very common these days, that given the current financial crisis, some owners are unable to keep up with the mortgage on their property. The process of repossession from the bank begins when payments have not been paid for three or four months; it is then passed to the bank’s legal department, following which an action by them is brought against the owners.

For example, a couple Mr and Mrs Orange bought a property in Spain 7 years ago for €150,000, with a mortgage of €100,000. Mr and Mrs Orange wrongly assume that by handing over the keys to the bank the process will be completed and nothing further will be claimed, however, this is not the case.

The Bank puts the property up for auction at Court, and if there is no bidder, it takes the property for 50% of its auction value, say in this case, €50,000; but Mr and Mrs Orange would still owe the bank another €50,000 (the possibility of the bank claiming the said amount in their country of origin will be dealt with in a future article).

What happens with the property? Once the Bank owns the house, it is put for sale. We have several clients and investors that have been asking us, as Lawyers, about this kind of property, given that some banks do provide us with this information.

What are the fiscal, economic and legal advantages of buying a repossessed property?

Fiscal benefits and bank expenses: Saving 1% of stamp duty in the event of a subrogation of the bank’s mortgage (no new mortgage has to be requested by clients who want bank funding;

the existing one can be used). Therefore the expenses for notary and registry are also lower, as is the valuation (the value is already provided by the bank), and opening fees, etc. are also avoided.

Economic benefits: Many of the properties are below 20-30% of the market value, given that the it is in the banks’ interest to sell them as soon as possible, as it is a disadvantage for them to retain them on their balance sheets, besides having to pay to the Bank of Spain.

Legal benefits: Properties are bought directly from the Bank, who is the legitimate owner, therefore, there are no third parties involved, nor charges that do not come from that same Bank. It is very secure method of purchase.

In short, “the bank always wins”. At JLCA & As.-Lawyers, we can offer an economic cost-benefit study and comprehensive legal advice, should you be considering the option of acquiring property through auction, which is confidential information that we have.

The competitive benefits of this type of purchase are that the property is already built - it is not off-plan, you can view the property, and reach an agreement with the bank, confident that we will oversee all the legal processes on your behalf.

ELCHE: Avda. de Alicante, 24 7°03203 - Elche ·Espana - Spain Telf: 966 612 816 ·

Fax: 965 427 800 [email protected]

JLCA & AS LawyersJosé-Luis Campillo & Asociados

Abogados - Lawyerswww.jlcalawyers.com

INDEPENDENT LAW & TAX ADVICE

ASK THE LAWYER…Top local lawyer Jose Luis is here to answer your legal questions.

REPOSSESSION

THE CHEAPEST ADVERTISING ON THE COSTA !!- TEL 606 540 40814

ga spgran alacant santa pola

The GA train will make a much awaited return at the end of March.New, faster and covering more of GA!Look out for it soon!!Chuff, Chuff!

SubterfugeThe new 300.000€ recreational centre complete with

playgrounds for all ages, will be enjoyed by the residents

of GA. for many years to come.

Unfortunately it is situated at the junction of the busiest

exit road and roundabout in GA, without parking

facilities.

A wonderful idea but in the wrong place!

A park already exists, not five minutes’ walk from the new

centre at the library complex with parking facilities. Last

year, tax payers’ money was spent on improvements.

The children’s playground was extended and updated;

petanca area was created; trees planted; flower beds

renewed; lighting and paths improved.

It has become the focal point, meeting place, the

community heart! Fiestas take place here. bouncy

castles and live concerts. During the summer months a

cafe opens where you can sit under the trees, drinking

coffee watching the world go by. Meet neighbours

on their way to the library or medical centre. Local

policemen stop for a chat. People sit on the benches

reading or working on their computers. Parents pick up

their children from the school bus. The playground is

always a hive of activity.

Here, can be found the best views in GA!

Therein lays the problem, for this is the site where the

Council wants to build a hotel. In this recession, if, a

hotel is needed, first finish the one along the N332.

If the hotel goes ahead then the cost to the residents

of GA will be the destruction of this beautiful public

area. Hence the subterfuge, build a new recreational

centre and hope that the residents will not notice the

destruction

Here is a thought, will Altomar I and Gran Vista’s

privacy be compromised? Do the residents of these

urbanizaciones want people peering, from their hotel

balconies, into their homes and gardens?

GA appeared to be one of the last unspoilt areas

in Spain. Foreigners who purchased homes were

attracted by the open spaces and green areas, not

hotels and supermarkets.

YOUR PHOTOS

Hi JDI thought it was a wind up when I was told the caterpillars march in a line but here are some photos I just took in GA. Ugh!!! Karen Biddledont forget they are dangerous to dogs and cats

Dear friends, hello again, Firstly, I would like to reply to the false accusations expelled about my person and my Popular Party team. I would like to answer directly to the person who wrote the article called “GA covered in concrete” but, unfortunately, that person did not dare to sign it and did not give a name to the unfair and inappropriate accusations about myself. I want to make it clear that every house built in Gran Alacant (even shopping areas and other infrastructure mentioned in that article) comes from the General Urban Development Plan of 1985 approved by the Socialist Party (PSOE), when I was 8 years old.That plan has allowed the massive construction of houses in Gran Alacant, without any order or projection for the future. The narrow pavements and the street lights in the middle of them, as well as the urban disaster in many urbanisations are also thanks to that plan dated from 1985.

My party and our mayor have designed a new General Urban Development Plan which came into force a short period of time ago. This new plan, much more respectful towards the environment since it protects almost 70% of the municipal land (the Sierra of Santa Pola around Gran Alacant and all the green areas included), will force the construction companies to build in a different way, with wide pavements and avenues and modern and appropriate to 21st century street furniture, which you all deserve. It also will make possible the connection between Santa Pola and Gran Alacant through the N-332 road.

It seems to me that it is not correct to talk about what is not known and to accuse people without clear reasons only to make people doubt and make Loreto Cascales look like a liar and environmentally unfriendly. I do not hide, I do sign all my texts. Moreover, when I give my word, I keep it. If somebody has any doubt, as our unknown friend says, you are invited to come to my office and speak to me, my door has been, is and will be always open for all the people who want to go in, whichever nationality they are and wherever they come from. In Gran

Alacant, we are all important and, at least to me, we all count.

Regarding the sentence of the article where it is stated that Gran Alacant is the piggy bank of Santa Pola, I would like to ask the author if he/she has the appropriate figures to make that kind of statements or somebody else has told him/her that as a figment of the imagination. The fact that the president of the government of PSOE, Mr. Zapatero, has led Spain to a deep crisis, that we are being one of the last European countries to recover and that we are one of the countries with more unemployment, I think all that is not my responsibility or my mayor’s. If the establishments of Gran Alacant and, in general, in Spain are not working at the moment, it is due to those who are governing at a national level.

I may be wrong in some things and many promises will take long or short time to come, but it is shown that since I am the councillor of this area, Gran Alacant has changed: the municipal office, the library, the school, the health centre, the asphalt of the streets, the shelters, many of the pavements, the viewpoint of Escandinavia Avenue, the improvement of “Clot de Galvany”and many other things have not been paid by the National Government’s Plan E. The town council, the Diputación de Alicante or the Generalitat Valenciana paid all that. Of course, the most important to me is not who pays the projects, but to get them for a better Gran Alacant to live in. Whether people like it or not, I am achieving it. (What’s more, if I make those projects be paid by other administrations, it is much better for the santapoleros’ pockets).

Me, of course, I keep the last 7th February at the opening of the new “Sierra de Santa Pola” municipal park. Thanks to all those people who were there, I felt happy because in days like that one where plans come true for the people of your town, the work, the worries and the unfair criticism that I receive every day are left in the background. And I see I am capable of getting a better quality of life for the Gran Alacant population. (see photos above)

Biblioteca Internacional Gran Alacant

The International Library of Gran Alacant offers the following activities:

SPANISH FOR FOREIGN PEOPLE (beginners & intermediate) LANGUAGE CLUB - INTERNET BASIC (for english speaking people)

VALENCIÀ - CREATIVE WORKSHOPS (for children over 6 years)THEATRE FOR CHILDREN (3-5 years and over 6 years)

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BATUKA + BELLYDANCE - HIP-HOP, STREETDANCE...

Further information at the Library Av. Escandinavia, 31, or by mail [email protected]

or by phone 966697110

Dear Mr. Whatley,

I would like to answer to the writing you have sent to the Jungle Drums and

that affects directly to me.

I think that what you are saying about me it is not fair for different reason and

I would like to think it is because you do not have the necessary information:

1 - Juani Soriano, the representative of the PSOE party in Gran Alacant has

been writing her column in the Jungle Drums for long time (even before

than me) and I can assure you she wrote in a higher political tone than me.

She is not writing anymore because she has decided not to do it. Anyway, I

cannot remember anybody from the Popular Party asking her to tone down

her political level in her writings, among other things, because I think we are

living in a free country where everybody can say what they think. You can

share or not the different opinions (and I can tell that the Jungle Drums does

give the opportunity to speak to everybody not looking to the political party

you belong to) but you cannot shut up the different voices there can be in a

community. I think that is something wrong.

2- I belong to the Popular Party. I have been the first councillor that Gran

Alacant has (because not any other party thought about Gran Alacant like

us) and I can say proudly I have done nearly all the first things in this area:

the first municipal office, the first municipal library, the first public school,

the first see-viewing points, the first municipal parks, the first public health

centre, the trees, the wide pathways, the cleaning and fencing of the Clot...

and all these projects that we did in Gran Alacant have not been paid by the

Central Government but also by the Valencian Governments, the Diputacion

de Alicante or the Santa Pola Town Hall. (Please, do not try to make people

believe that all the projects done in Gran Alacant have been paid by the

central government because then you are not telling the truth).

3 - I have never denied that “some” of the projects done recently in Gran

Alacant are paid by the central government. In fact, in one of my articles in

the Jungle Drums I said the following sentence: “Santa Pola has received a

subsidy from the Central Government.” ( and then I attached the projects

and the amount of money they cost). What you have not said in your writing

is that every single town or city in Spain has received the same type of

subsidy from the Spanish government, so I do not have more help from this

government than the rest of Spanish cities. We received the money from

them but you did not explain in your writing that our mayor, Miguel Zaragoza,

decided where to invest this money and how to do it. Miguel decided to invest

more than 2.5 million euros in Gran Alacant (and not in any other place of

Santa Pola) and I have been the person who have been together with the

technical people deciding how to do them and trying that the companies

do their job properly. Nobody from the central government has decided the

design of the municipal park or any other project. (I would like to ask you for

giving complete information to the readers and not only a part of it).

4 - I will write in Jungle Drums informing the people of Gran Alacant what

is going on, saying that I belong to the Popular Party because it is like that.

Finally, I would like to invite you, Mr. Whatley, to come and speak with

me because, maybe, you will change your opinion about Loreto Cascales.

Sometimes, it is more important to look to the person and not only to the

policitian (or the political party) you have in your town.

Loreto’s response to Bob Whately (see letters page)

s i e r r a d e S a n t a Po l a p a r a k o p e n i n g

IMPORTANT EVENT NOTICE

LIFE RESORT 12 MARCH 2010

THE BRISTISH CONSULATE OF

ALICANTE IN CONJUCTION WITH

THE AYUNTAMIENTO OF SANTA POLA

IS GIVING A TALK ABOUT PEN-

SIONS-HEALTH CARE ETC. TO THE

LOCAL BRITSIH COMUNITY

HURRY BACK MAUREEN.......ALL OF US HERE AT JUNGLE DRUMS WOULD LIKE TO WISH YOU A SPEEDY RECOVERY X X

STOP PRESS


2 34 11 44

5

7 900

CROSSWORD 1 CROSSWORD 2

answers page 25

A. Sharp (5)A. Remedied (7)A. Protective garment (5)C. Hoard (5)C. Tapers (7)C. Group of bovines (6)C. Fake (11)E. Epoch (3)E. No longer in existence (7)G. Chivalrous (7)I. Lit up (11)L. Terse (7)L. Lackadaisical (7)

L. Prevarication (3)M. Award (5)N. Pleasant (4)N. Observed (5)O. Sumptuous (7)R. Send payment (5)S. Short tail (4)S. Begin (5)S. Powerful (6)S. Proposed (9)T. Rising current of warm air (7)W. Bet (5)W. Capricious (9)

Across11. Bank employee, who can say (6)4. Balance found in muesli bran (5)9. Crumbling old places fell down (9)10. Not as old as that confused Reno guy (7)11. Plenty of land in tarmac resort (5)12. Opposed to poetry (6)14. Purloins duck between

beginning andend of shifts (6)17. Last letter in some game (5)19. Tolerates some token duress (7)21. Alter code when moved (9)23. One of the Earps, sounds interrogativeat first (5)24. Shuffle a paper then come into view (6) DOWN 1. Sum up tall youth, essentially (5)

2. Let cure become a lesson (7)3. Find a fish in a wee lake (3)5. Begins tantrum in a moment (7)6. Palindrome instrument (5)7. Found in large scale drama crowd (5)8. Hesitates to use spa turbulence (6)12. Committee on a ship (6)13. Evidence of injury, allow for

redness (7)15. Shorten a river crossing (7)16. Serenity, sounds like part of somethinggreater (5)18. Nobleman with ponytail is before his time (5)20. Grasp earnest weapon, essentially (5)22. High point found in octopus (3)

Wordoku key word: NEIGHBOUR

Alpha-Cross 01 The first letter of each answer is written next to its clue inalphabetical order. One letter has already been entered.Can you find the words then fit them correctly into the grid?

oppositeHyundai

20


2 34 11 44

5

7 900

CROSSWORD 1 CROSSWORD 2

answers page 25

A. Sharp (5)A. Remedied (7)A. Protective garment (5)C. Hoard (5)C. Tapers (7)C. Group of bovines (6)C. Fake (11)E. Epoch (3)E. No longer in existence (7)G. Chivalrous (7)I. Lit up (11)L. Terse (7)L. Lackadaisical (7)

L. Prevarication (3)M. Award (5)N. Pleasant (4)N. Observed (5)O. Sumptuous (7)R. Send payment (5)S. Short tail (4)S. Begin (5)S. Powerful (6)S. Proposed (9)T. Rising current of warm air (7)W. Bet (5)W. Capricious (9)

Across11. Bank employee, who can say (6)4. Balance found in muesli bran (5)9. Crumbling old places fell down (9)10. Not as old as that confused Reno guy (7)11. Plenty of land in tarmac resort (5)12. Opposed to poetry (6)14. Purloins duck between

beginning andend of shifts (6)17. Last letter in some game (5)19. Tolerates some token duress (7)21. Alter code when moved (9)23. One of the Earps, sounds interrogativeat first (5)24. Shuffle a paper then come into view (6) DOWN 1. Sum up tall youth, essentially (5)

2. Let cure become a lesson (7)3. Find a fish in a wee lake (3)5. Begins tantrum in a moment (7)6. Palindrome instrument (5)7. Found in large scale drama crowd (5)8. Hesitates to use spa turbulence (6)12. Committee on a ship (6)13. Evidence of injury, allow for

redness (7)15. Shorten a river crossing (7)16. Serenity, sounds like part of somethinggreater (5)18. Nobleman with ponytail is before his time (5)20. Grasp earnest weapon, essentially (5)22. High point found in octopus (3)

Wordoku key word: NEIGHBOUR

Alpha-Cross 01 The first letter of each answer is written next to its clue inalphabetical order. One letter has already been entered.Can you find the words then fit them correctly into the grid?

your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com22

Tel: 902 906 015

Dear Business OwnerThe International Business Association

are inviting you to join us at ourOpen Morning Thursday 11th March at 10am

at Rocajuna Restaurant, Punta Primawith presentations about

starting and continuing business in Spain.

Come along and promote your business at T.I.B.A.the premier group on the Costa Blanca

for legally registered businesses.

Give It A Go!You never Know What Business Contacts You May Make.

Rocajuna is conveniently located near Punta Prima on the N332. if you have any quesitons related to the location,

please call: 966 799 829 or visit www.rocajuna.com

Visit: www.tibacb.com or Email: [email protected]


I am not overly religious, but neither am I anti-religion:

I have my own beliefs which are personal. But as a

fully paid-up member of the La Marina community I like

to see it looking nice, and attractive to live in. What’s

happening to the church? Perhaps it’s down to the

miserable un-Spanish weather we’ve been experiencing

lately – I’m sure it wasn’t like this in February when I first

came here – but I was walking past it the other day, and

a more un church-like building you couldn’t wish to see.

Ok, I’m English, and where we come from churches are

very old, very traditional. There are a few modern ones,

but…is ours here really supposed to look a half-finished

warehouse built by the co-op? I suppose it all comes

back to the time-honoured subject of money – or lack

of it – as to why it appears to be as though the builders

have just downed tools and walked away – any ideas?

I hope that by the time you read this the weather has

improved, the only (minor) consolation is that it’s the

same over most of Europe; the UK looks very cold with

more snow and ice to come. Can’t go on here - can it?

Anyone been to the big new Chinese

takeaway? You know, the non-food one on the N332, on

the old Mortar Mavik site. There you can buy everything

you could always buy at any of the other smaller ones,

it’s just that…well, I don’t know really, there must be

some point to it, mustn’t there: can you let me know?

I’ve been, just to say I’ve been, and although I didn’t

buy anything, my wife did – I’m sure the cushion covers

will come in hand, we’ve only got fifty-seven. Oh, and

you can never have enough plastic boxes, can you?

That shopping centre adjacent to the new Chink by

Mercadonna worries me. At present rate of progress –

or lack of it – it will be full of shops and businesses by

the end of the century (not saying which one).

By the way I hear the La Marina

train has been withdrawn from service until June.

Hopefully by then the trippers will all be here to make

good use of it… Back here in LM we struggle on, but in

my experience as Easter approaches, so do the green

shoots appear and hey-presto – we’re back to normal!

Before you know it we’ll be bemoaning the lack of water,

the heat of the sun, the strength of the pound v the euro

(sorry, I forgot, we’re doing that last one already), and

every day life returns here in paradise! See you soon

Fouleye

Right – now that I have your attention I confess that

this is not that sort of column – or magazine! It is about

some peculiarities that exist between the sexes. I

first noticed there were real differences between the

sexes, apart from the obvious physical ones, when my

sisters, one older and one younger, seemed to know

instinctively how to play our Dad; whereas I didn’t have

a clue. The younger one let me into the secret once,

years too late of course: apparently you had to put on

a woebegone expression, look down, and say Da-ad…

He would put his hand instinctively into his pocket,

and there you are, - well, they were - five bob she

said; never failed! My type of dialogue in those days

with my ex-military father was more of the one-way

(downwards) variety, as in

‘Here’s two bob, go and get your hair cut’. By dint

of necessary research I knew the Polish barber off

Mansfield Road would do it for one and six, and the

change was mine. Hardly in my sisters’ league though,

was it? In an effort to try to even things up, as a boy

I was brought up to open doors for ladies, and stand

up when they came into a room; even raise my cap

to senior ladies when I was small. Old ladies were my

speciality (still are):

‘Such a nice polite boy, your John, Mrs McGregor…’.

You can see where I got my pocket money from then,

can’t you? Except that Mum never seemed to have

much spare money, bless her. If Mum was always

there for me throughout my life I never seemed to

get on the right side of Dad in those days, whereas

my lovely sisters had it instinctively – in spades! My

older sister was a nightmare to follow. Everything

she touched turned to gold: ten ‘O’ levels, three ‘A’s,

university, BA and MA. Just to spice that up she played

hockey for the county. So where was I when the brains

were being handed out? At the barbers I should think!

As if that wasn’t bad enough my younger sister won

one of seven free scholarships to the High School in

our city during her eleven plus year. I wasn’t thick, you

understand but compared to them I was - and Dad

didn’t get it: he was not impressed. The point I am

clumsily trying to make is that they had brains AND

animal cunning built into their female DNA: and I’m still

trying to figure out how and why?

I never recovered from this poor, inferior-status start.

On an early date I missed most of one James Bond

film – Goldfinger, I think it was, must see it through one

day – trying to work out how I was going to put my arm

round Marilyn Weightman in the dark confined space.

Why was it we lads had to make all the running? The

girls seem to hold all the aces, they said yes or no

(depending on the question!): it seemed grossly unfair

to me to have to walk nervously across a dance-

floor and risk humiliating rejection when pleading for

temporary companionship in time to the music. Here

you will note my use of ‘dance’ rather than ‘disco’ – that

gives away my age!

This then brings me nicely to more confusing gender

roles: just as I was plucking up courage, and beginning

to get the hang of it all, along came – feminism!. Apart

from the burning your bra (didn’t it hurt?), the serious

bit was that women got a bit more militant – yes, ok,

you needed to, I realise that, but…secretly, you still

wanted to be wooed and romanced. You still do now,

I know; I’ve just bin there on Valentines Day (did my

bit, girls).

But we lads of all ages are a bit confused these days,

aren’t we fellas? I was on the first wave of ‘new men’,

going over the top in the name of equality in the

seventies. Sadly I didn’t get in to see my two children

born, at the last minute both times it wasn’t going well:

the modern miracle of caesareans took over, and I was

booted out. I gather fledging Dads are even included

in those operations these days. But hey, afterwards I

got my hands dirty early, and I have to say I loved it.

The grotty side, or end, held no fears and I loved all the

toddler feeding, nappies (real Terry ones, not namby-

pamby disposables), baths, bedtime stories, all that

stuff. My preferred age of children is from birth, up until

the age when they can answer you back!

I suppose the penny should have dropped then, when

I found my son, a chip off the old block, obediently did

as he was told – and his younger sister didn’t. And

yet the funny thing was she seemed to be able to get

round me easily, no matter what. Hey, hang on, I’ve

just realised something – wasn’t this where I came in?

Sons - sisters – women – daughters - fathers. Yes,

we’ve gone full circle, another generation has passed

FOULEYE’S

LaMarinaSex. By John McGregor

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SMITHY IS RIGHT'Smithy' (JD Feb) is so right, the PP Mayor

and his Councillors seem hell bent on

destroying any green spaces that are

left in Gran Alacant. Arguably there has

been too much building anyway and they

now want to fill in every bit of open land

between urbanisations, creating wall-to-

wall concrete.

The latest proposal is for a market place

on the land just below the sports cen-

tre on the only piece of green space left

in the area, near to six urbanisations

including the Life Resort. This will be at

massive expense being on a hill, will in-

volve grubbing up of trees and is the last

place for a market. It is so far from the

main parts of G.A.that most traders and

customers will be reluctant to make the

journey. If a new market place is neces-

sary surely it would be better to have it on

the lower part of Gran Alacant - it could

be situated on the spare land behind the

Commercial Centre and car wash (sched-

uled for another supermarket) - there are

various other sites I could suggest.

Demolishing the municipal office, health

clinic and library (then rebuilding these fa-

cilities on green land next to Monte Faro)

to make way for a hotel is a scandalous

waste of resources and materials.

Building on every possible bit of land

does not do down well with voters and

people like to live within walking distance

of green spaces, so we can only hope

that Mayor Zaragosa and the council will

wake up to this fact before it is too late.

It would be better to develop local green

zones rather than to spend loads of (Plan

E) money from the government creating a

pretty pretty park next to the most dan-

gerous roundabout in Gran Alacant.

Yours truly. Rose Jackson

See Loreto’s response on the GA

page.

BLAME BROWNGran Alacant

Hi

Reference a letter from "Michael and

Rita, Rojales" in the February edi-

tion, it is the weak GBP which has

affected the exchange rate for British

ex-pats here and not a weak Euro. So

any issue on this should be directed

to Dr Gordon "no more boom and

bust" Brown, 10 Downing St, London.

The racist tone of that letter and its

ignorance (lack of knowledge) were

dreadful. IH

Oooh.

DOWNLOADHi. can I download the mag anywhere

?. I have downloaded a PDF copy

via the 'Issuu' web site by it is a bit

unreadable in places. Is the Spanish

subscription 'Free'.... if so how do I

do it. Hope this is possible as the trek

from 'Montecid Urbanisation'(near

Monforte Del Cid) all the way over

to Gran Alacant to hunt around for

a copy, proves fruitless sometimes.

Thanks Guy and Lyn at a very 'cold'

Montecid.

Guy and Lyn Mitchell

Hiya,

Yes, you will soon be able to do

it directly from the website – we

are in the process of updating

it at the moment so bear with

us. Meanwhile the copy on Is-

suu should be better quality this

month. ED.

IT’S PROPOGANDA!

Dear Editor,

I am am a keen reader of Jungle

Drums and I think that you provide

a valuable service to the Expat Brit

community. However, I do have one

point of issue with the magazine and

that is the monthly column by Loreto

Cascales. I have no objection to

factual information from Santa Pola

Council, but Loreto's column is fast

becoming a monthly party politi-

cal broadcast for the Popular Party.

What makes matters worse is that

many of the improvements that she

boasts about are actually paid for by

"Plan E" money from the Socialist

government.

I would point out that not all your

readers are natural supporters of the

Popular Party (equivalent to the UK

Conservatives) and perhaps it would

be a good idea to ask her to tone it

down a bit or for the magazine to

introduce more political balance.

All the best,

Bob. Gran Alacant

Hi Bob,

We’ve passed on your comments

to Loreto and she has responded

through her article on the GA

page. However, speaking for the

magazine, I let the writers write,

and the readers judge. ED.

Downstairs from Consum supermarketnext to Chief O’Neills

Selection of Freshly Baked Pasties, Slices, Sausage rolls - Bread & Rolls

Variety of Cakes & Desserts, inc birthday cakes to order.

OFFEX postal service, Daily English newspapers, groceries, gifts

Open Mon–Sat 9.30 – 4.00

Tel. 618 460 523

Cagney’s

BAR FOR ALL HOME ELECTRICS

Plaza Castilla

Bilbao

(TH

E F

OR

ES

T R

OA

D)fOCUS ON:

Urb L A M A R I N A

Avda d

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an F

ulg

encio

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da

lucia

Ju

sto

An

ton

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sa

da

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talu

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Avda Londres Plaza de Sierra Castilla

Clinic

Justo Antonio Quesada

Gongora

DeutscheBank

Phase One

Alicante

Avda Londres

Consum Square

1

2 3 4 5 6 7

8

9

10

11

12

14151617

18

20

22

1

16

4

5

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3

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1213

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2021

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Phase Four

19

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Alicante

LMAW

26

Downstairs from Consum supermarketnext to Chief O’Neills

Selection of Freshly Baked Pasties, Slices, Sausage rolls - Bread & Rolls

Variety of Cakes & Desserts, inc birthday cakes to order.

OFFEX postal service, Daily English newspapers, groceries, gifts

Open Mon–Sat 9.30 – 4.00

Tel. 618 460 523

Cagney’s

BAR FOR ALL HOME ELECTRICS

Plaza Castilla

Bilbao

(TH

E F

OR

ES

T R

OA

D)fOCUS ON:

Urb L A M A R I N AA

vda d

e S

an F

ulg

encio

An

da

lucia

Ju

sto

An

ton

io Q

ue

sa

da

Ca

talu

na

Avda Londres Plaza de Sierra Castilla

Clinic

Justo Antonio Quesada

Gongora

DeutscheBank

Phase One

Alicante

Avda Londres

Consum Square

1

2 3 4 5 6 7

8

9

10

11

12

14151617

18

20

22

1

16

4

5

6

7

3

11

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17

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Phase Four

19

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LMAW

27

Bless ‘im... Throughout our marriage, my wife has always stood by my side. She had to. We’ve only got one chair.

I was showing my wife this one. I said, ‘Look at this dear.’ I always call her dear. She’s got antlers growing out of the side of her head.

I was woken up this morning by a tap on the door. I must remember to get the plumber to take it off.

There have been times that I have known disappointment, even despair. The public never realised because I was laughing on the outside while I was crying on the inside. Very dangerous that - you could easily drown.

At the Royal Command Performance 1964, Tommy walks on stage with a heater he says, ‘They told me to go out and warm the crowd up.’

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.........It was an iron bar.

A woman told her doctor, ‘I’ve got a bad back.’ The doctor said, ‘It’s old age.’ The woman said, ‘I want a second opinion.’ The doctor says, ‘OK. You’re ugly as well.’

A man is trying to sell his dog. So he stops another man and says, ‘Wanna buy a dog? He’s very clever look at this.’ He throws a stick into the pond and says, ‘Fetchthat, Rover.’ The dog gets up on his hind legs and walks across the water and gets the stick. ‘Thats no good to me mate,’ said the man. ‘He can’t swim.’

A man went to the doctor and said, ‘I need help urgently. I keep dreaming that women come into my bedroom and I keep pushing them away.’ The doctor said, ‘What do you want me to do?’And the man said, ‘Cut my arms off.’

A woman phoned her husband and said, ‘The carburettor is full of water.’ ‘Where’s the car?’ the man said. ‘In the river,’ she replied.

I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.

LAUGH...?... I NEARLY

READ ANOTHER

MAGAZINE!

ETISERIKED

IS

Welcometo. . .

With the same old new jokes we’re carrying on the Campo tradition

with lots of fun...

...all tucked rather neatly inside The Jungle Drums...

Come on in...and ’ave a laugh!

INLA

NDpa

ges

YOU MUST JOKING

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not fol-low. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just go away and leave me alone.2. Sex is like air. It’s not that important unless you aren’t getting any.3. No one is listening until you fart.4. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

20 Zens...part one

you know you’re having a bad day when...

INLANDpages

For the jokers...by the jokers

FADIOS!! Unfortunately ‘Campo’ has been un-able to survive the recession. Develop-ments, completely beyond our control, have meant that overnight we have had to ‘pull the plug’ on our popular magazine. Because events happened so quickly it was impossible to publish a final ‘farewell’ edition. We would like to express our appreciation to ‘Jungle Drums’ who have gracefully allowed us the space to credit everyone who has been involved with Campo over the past six years: our readers, advertis-ers, sales team, distributors and and designers: you were part of a unique publishing experience. We are pleased that for the past seventy five months we have brought a smile to thousands of faces. We’ve made people laugh and hopefully helped people through some troubled times. We’ve got to thank Anne Robinson for this one ….. Who thinks a Tandoori is a brown door? Peter

29

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says,

‘What a great chest you have!’ He tells her, ‘That’s 100 lbs. Of dynamite, Baby.’ He takes off his pants and the blonde says, ‘What massive calves you have!’ The body builder tells her, ‘That’s 100 lbs. Of dynamite, baby.’

He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear. The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her.

He catches up to her and asks why she ran

Out of the apartment like that. The blonde replies, : I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!

Five rules for men to follow for a happy life

1. It’s important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.2. It’s important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.3. It’s important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.4. It’s important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.5. It’s very, very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

6 . I f y o u t h i n k n o b o d y c a r e s w h e t h e r y o u ’ r e a l i v e o r d e a d , t r y m i s s i n g a c o u p l e o f m o r t g a g e p a y m e n t s .

7 . B e f o r e y o u c r i t i c i z e s o m e o n e , y o u s h o u l d w a l k a m i l e i n t h e i r s h o e s . T h a t w a y , w h e n y o u c r i t i c i z e t h e m , y o u ’ r e a m i l e a w a y a n d y o u h a v e t h e i r s h o e s .

8 . I f a t f i r s t y o u d o n ’ t s u c c e e d , s k y d i v i n g i s n o t f o r y o u .

9 . G i v e a m a n a f i s h a n d h e w i l l e a t f o r a d a y . T e a c h h i m h o w t o f i s h , a n d h e w i l l s i t i n a b o a t a n d d r i n k b e e r a l l d a y .

1 0 . I f y o u l e n d s o m e o n e £ 2 0 a n d n e v e r s e e t h a t p e r s o n a g a i n , i t w a s p r o b a b l y w e l l w o r t h i t .

20 Zens...part two

INLA

NDpa

ges

WHY PAY MORE? the best ad prices- TEL. 606 540 408 31

NEW LOW! LOW! ADVERTISING RATES - TEL. 606 540 408

1- Find the C below..

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2- If you already found the C, now find the 6 below.

999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999699999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

3 - Now find the N below. It’s a little more difficult.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

This is NOT a joke. If you were able to pass these 3 tests, your brain is great and you’re far from having a close relationship with Alzheimer.

Grey Matters

Bacon Tree Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says...

“Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk.”

“Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. “

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There’s raw bacon, there’s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pork.

“Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree.”

“Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don’ forget.”

“Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon... ees no meer-age, ees a bacon tree.”

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath, “Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree! “

“Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? “

“Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree...

Ees...

Ees...

Ees...

Ees...

Ees a ham bush...”

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen.13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment.15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20 Zens...part three

INLA

NDpa

ges

33

16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with wom-en. Neither one works17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse ....... then things just keep getting worse.20. Never, under any circum-stances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

20 Zens...part four

Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mikes’ wife is begins to deliver the baby. The local doctor is there in atten-dance. “What d’ya want me to do, Doctor?” “Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!” the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see.“Mike, you’re the proud father of a fine strapping boy.” “Saints be praised, I...” Before Mike can fin-ish the Doctor interrupts, “Wait a minute. Hold the lantern, Mike.” Soon the doctor delivers the next child. “You’ve a full set now, Mike. A beautiful baby daughter.”“Thanks be to...”Again the Doctor cuts in, “Hold the lantern, Mike, Hold the lantern!” Soon the Doctor delivers a third child. The doctorholds up the baby for Mike’s inspection.“Doctor,” asks Mike, “Do you think it’s the light that’s attracting them?”

It’s Complicated...

INLA

NDpa

ges


36 your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com


Some bird names, of course, are part of everday

conversation. Swallow and Starling, Magpie and

Blackbird – there can be few people for whom an

image isn’t triggered by these words. Of course the

name of a family can also put a picture in your head

– duck or woodpecker are words that do that. But

as soon as things get complicated, most people lose

that instant image, and only a birder would see an

image of, say, an Olivaceous Warbler, or even, less

specifically, a hippolais warbler. (the name given to

the same species’ genus, or close relatives) He/she

might also be able to tell you that its scientific name

is Hippolais pallida, or that it is known in Spanish as

Zarcera palida. To be any use, a bird’s name ought

to tell you something about the bird, its habits,

appearance or voice – good examples in English

are Turnstone, Pintail or Hoopoe. The first turn over

stones in the search for a tasty meal, the second

has a long, tapering tail and the third says its name.

But there are some remarkably silly English

names. Who on earth sees the length of a Short-

toed Eagle’s toes? Why not Snake Eagle, as in

the German Schlangenadler or the Spanish Aguila

culebrera? Even so, the romantic French give it an

even dafter name: Circaete Jean le Blanc! Other

names based on appearance fall short of common

sense: The Black-headed Gull never has a black

head and the Red-rumped Swallow’s rump is never

more than smudgy orange. Then there are the

species which have distinctive breeding plumage,

so that their name is inappropriate for much of

the year – Black Tern, Spotted Redshank, Black

Guillemot, for instance.

Another pitfall is to name birds after a geographical

situation. Hence no Dartford Warbler would venture

near industrial North Kent, Kentish Plovers no longer

nest in Britain, let alone Kent, and Sandwich Terns

have only a passing knowledge of the town of that

name, and don’t eat butties either!

Look for a moment, then, at habits. What do

Oystercatchers eat? Well, mussels, in fact. And how

many hens does your average Hen Harrier harry?

Or consider the birds named after people. OK if they

were eminent figures in the history of the science,

I suppose, like Bewick, Audubon, Wilson, Pallas or

Temminck, all of whom have several birds to their

name, but whoever was Signor Cetti? And who

was Lady Amherst to have a pheasant named for

her – perhaps she had something going with the

gamekeeper, like another Lady we could mention?

Early settlers in America, no ornithologists, spotted

a bird with a red breast, and called it a Robin, even

though it’s bigger than a Blackbird, and blackbirds,

warblers and sparrows over there are from different

families to ours’.

Spanish names tend to be a touch more practical,

but oddly, they have no equivalent of ‘owl,’ calling

all such birds ‘nocturnal raptors,’ Barn Owl being

‘lechuza’ Little Owl ‘mochuelo,’ Eagle Owl ‘buho

real’ and so forth. Funny translations abound:

Cetti’s Warbler is called ‘illegitimate nightingale,’

and Wood Sanpiper ‘Illegitimate river-runner.’

French names can be fanciful, as ‘Hibou Grand-

duc’ for Eagle Owl, but the dear old Germans

take the biscuit, with their tendency to run

words together and create unwieldly handles, as

‘Bogenschnaebligerstrandlaufer’ – ‘bent-billed

beach-runner.’ And that is their word for Curlew

Sandpiper.

A study of names, and their origin, can be almost as

fascinating as the birds themselves.

Galactites Tomentosa

Centaurea Aspera

Fleur de Sangre

Narssici Blanca.

Wild Gladioli Ophrys Speculum

Daphnia.

Corse Vetch.

Would like to know the name ?

Narssici

Cynoglossum Cheirifolium

DARFORD WARBLER

HEN HARRIER

by Malcolm Palmer

BH GULL

SWALLOW

WHAT’S IN A (BIRD) NAME?

SPRING FLOWER WATCH by John Harris

Jungle Drums would like thank JOHN HARRIS for sharing with us

his passion of local flowers....

A quick look at just some of the many wild flowers we can see coming into to bloom locally within the next 6 to 8 weeks. These are all growing on the campo opposite Monte Faro in Gran Alacant and in many other locations local-ly, please bare in mind when looking for these wild flowers most of them are only 8 to 10 cm tall and are easily crushed underfoot whilst try-ing to find them. Get out there and have a look and open your eyes to another world.

If anbody requires any further information just give me a call.John Harris 630351807 or 966699265

26

38


some will go to any lengths...

The Jungle Drums Magazine ONLINE

www.thejungledrums.comn.b. highly trained stunt elephant used....

THERE IS ONLY ONE NAME IN SANTA POLA

Talleres PEREZ JUANNEW AND SECOND HAND VEHICLES, REPAIRS, SERVICING AND BODY WORK

Talleres Perez Juan S.L Ctra Elche 10 - Santa Pola. Telephone 96 541 5921 or 96 541 3746

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Easter’s almost here, beach, barbecue, and work!

No rest for our Team, we are in crisis beating

mode and ready, willing and able to serve all

your motoring needs.

Let’s start with some information that you, may

find useful. Did you know that when you buy a

new car in Spain, that it does not need an ITV,

until 4 years after it’s date of first registration.

You will, approaching it’s 4th birthday, receive

a letter, from the “Ministerio Del Interior”,

advising you that an ITV is required by the due

date. However, if you have imported and re-

registered your car, during 2005, you will also

receive this letter, as the computer in Madrid,

will show your vehicle to be a first registration,

irrespective of it’s age and ITV history. Some

more paper for the recycling bin!

Unfortunately, this month, I have not had the

opportunity to speak with either Paco or Jose,

although I did bump into Paco, literally, when

I came across him, in his new job for the local

Council, painting lines on the road. Now this

is a man, who is happiest driving his pony and

trap, or chasing his pigeons around the coun-

tryside and his previous attempts at painting

have been either his pigeons or his fence.

When I left him he was preparing to paint

direction arrows at a junction, so watch out,

when driving around La Marina Urb.

Funny enough that ties in nicely with a kind

phone call we received, from a lovely Lady

in Valverde, who thought we should ask our

Spanish friends about their attitude to white

lines. Well, I shall save that one for next

month, when Paco has painted a few more, by

which time, I am sure he will be an expert in

the philosophy of white lines.

On to other serious stuff, lots of enquiries con-

cerning cars, that have been sold on, or sent

to be scrapped. These folk are still receiving

the Road Tax bills and, in one instance Traf-

fic fines. You must ensure that when getting

rid of your car that the ownership, is quickly

transferred into the new owners name, or if

being scrapped that the correct documentation

is returned to you, by Steptoe y Hijo.

We can deal with these matters, please give

us a call for advise and a quote.

Till next month, safe motoring, don’t forget you

can contact us on, Tel : 966 419 769.

Or e-mail :

[email protected]


“BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the

Costa Blanca. We aim to provide high quality computer services at realistic

prices - we specialise in providing services to small businesses and

home users”

Broadband Setup

New Computers & Laptops in English

Repairs & Upgrades

Compatible Ink Cartridges

Phone Calls Using Your PC

Website Design

Competitive Rates

No Call Out Fee

No Job Too Small

PC and Server Health Checks

Macro Writing

Microsoft Office Training

Server Monitoring

Backup Solutions

Web and Email Hosting

Windows Server Configuration

Anti-Virus & Security

Network & Wireless Setup

Email or phone us for friendly help and

[email protected]

www.bluemoonsolutions.es

mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

The first talk is by a guy called Pranav Mis-try who has been developing a new way of interacting with computers.

The video can be found at http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/pranav_mistry_the_thrilling_potential_of_sixthsense_technol-ogy.html or at this shortcut http://tinyurl.com/ydescjl

Rather than using a mouse and a keyboard Pranav feels that a gesture type interface is the way forward and has developed a quite amazingly sophisticated input device for a computer that can be carried around as part of your clothing. The computer screen can be projected onto any surface (wall, writing paper, newspaper) and can be interact-ed with by hand movements, for example to see what time it is Pranav draws a circle on his wrist with his index finger and the computer attached to him projects an image of the Windows clock onto his wrist!

When he picks up a newspaper, the com-puter “reads” what he is looking at and projects relevant information onto the page to enhance the news article (video, statisti-cal information etc). All in all, this is a com-pelling video that shows us what we could expect to see in technology in the coming years. Certainly the general principle of us-ing gestures to interact with our computers seems to be the way forward, it’s some-thing that we do naturally and we don’t re-ally have to learn. Who knows perhaps sign language will be the language that is taught in the school of the future?

The next talk that I found very interesting was by a guy called Jamie Haywood who setup an Internet company called “Patients Like Me” inspired by his brother Stephen who contracted ALS (a terminal disease).

The video can be viewed at http://www.ted.com/talks/jamie_heywood_the_big_idea_my_brother_inspired.html or at this shortcut http://tinyurl.com/y8j44fu

What the family wanted to do was to gather as much information about Stephens con-dition as possible, review as many other people in the same situation as him and use that information to make the best deci-sions about his treatment, the drugs that

he should use and how best to get the most from what little time he had left.

Although the talk is a very sobering look at life – it’s also however inspir-ing because out of this research

came the website www.patientslikeme.com which allows any of us to review our own conditions. It allows us to learn from other people who match our symptoms and allows us to learn about new treatment methods and ways of managing our indi-vidual health situations.

One good example can be found in the symptoms section of the website there are currently 9535 people suffering from Insomnia. From the website you can see what drugs (both “over the counter” and “supplemental”) or treatments are being taken, how effective in each case these treatments are over time.

Welcome to this month’s computer article written by Richard from BlueMoon Solutions

Back in September last year we reviewed a video on demand service called www.ted.com. They feature talks from some of the worlds most remarkable people. This month I would like look at a couple of talks from this website that

I have found very interesting and I hope you will too.

TV on demand...

“for all your home and business computer needs”

your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com42

43

“BlueMoon Solutions is the computer and IT services company on the

Costa Blanca. We aim to provide high quality computer services at realistic

prices - we specialise in providing services to small businesses and

home users”

Broadband Setup

New Computers & Laptops in English

Repairs & Upgrades

Compatible Ink Cartridges

Phone Calls Using Your PC

Website Design

Competitive Rates

No Call Out Fee

No Job Too Small

PC and Server Health Checks

Macro Writing

Microsoft Office Training

Server Monitoring

Backup Solutions

Web and Email Hosting

Windows Server Configuration

Anti-Virus & Security

Network & Wireless Setup

Email or phone us for friendly help and

[email protected]

www.bluemoonsolutions.es

mobile: 655 044 970

Office: 902 906 200

The first talk is by a guy called Pranav Mis-try who has been developing a new way of interacting with computers.

The video can be found at http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/pranav_mistry_the_thrilling_potential_of_sixthsense_technol-ogy.html or at this shortcut http://tinyurl.com/ydescjl

Rather than using a mouse and a keyboard Pranav feels that a gesture type interface is the way forward and has developed a quite amazingly sophisticated input device for a computer that can be carried around as part of your clothing. The computer screen can be projected onto any surface (wall, writing paper, newspaper) and can be interact-ed with by hand movements, for example to see what time it is Pranav draws a circle on his wrist with his index finger and the computer attached to him projects an image of the Windows clock onto his wrist!

When he picks up a newspaper, the com-puter “reads” what he is looking at and projects relevant information onto the page to enhance the news article (video, statisti-cal information etc). All in all, this is a com-pelling video that shows us what we could expect to see in technology in the coming years. Certainly the general principle of us-ing gestures to interact with our computers seems to be the way forward, it’s some-thing that we do naturally and we don’t re-ally have to learn. Who knows perhaps sign language will be the language that is taught in the school of the future?

The next talk that I found very interesting was by a guy called Jamie Haywood who setup an Internet company called “Patients Like Me” inspired by his brother Stephen who contracted ALS (a terminal disease).

The video can be viewed at http://www.ted.com/talks/jamie_heywood_the_big_idea_my_brother_inspired.html or at this shortcut http://tinyurl.com/y8j44fu

What the family wanted to do was to gather as much information about Stephens con-dition as possible, review as many other people in the same situation as him and use that information to make the best deci-sions about his treatment, the drugs that

he should use and how best to get the most from what little time he had left.

Although the talk is a very sobering look at life – it’s also however inspir-ing because out of this research

came the website www.patientslikeme.com which allows any of us to review our own conditions. It allows us to learn from other people who match our symptoms and allows us to learn about new treatment methods and ways of managing our indi-vidual health situations.

One good example can be found in the symptoms section of the website there are currently 9535 people suffering from Insomnia. From the website you can see what drugs (both “over the counter” and “supplemental”) or treatments are being taken, how effective in each case these treatments are over time.

Welcome to this month’s computer article written by Richard from BlueMoon Solutions

Back in September last year we reviewed a video on demand service called www.ted.com. They feature talks from some of the worlds most remarkable people. This month I would like look at a couple of talks from this website that

I have found very interesting and I hope you will too.

TV on demand...

“for all your home and business computer needs”

WHY PAY MORE? the best ad prices- TEL. 606 540 408your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com

44

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Well Valentine’s Day has been and gone and I suspect many happy meals for two and

some not so happy moments of ‘miscommunication’ between couples. I thought, with

Spanish Father’s Day and UK Mothers Day this month, it might be a good time to share

some of my ideas about communication between the sexes.

I’ve spoken briefly in the past about communication and I reckon how to communicate

between the sexes is one of the most important lessons we can learn. There are many

jokes about how women talk too much and men reply with a grunt from behind the

newspaper – in my experience many of the jokes are born out of truth! Even in single

sex relationships, there are usually roles played out in one form or another. The fact we

have roles and different styles of communication is not a problem, what we have to do is

acknowledge this, begin to understand it, and even better – have a good laugh about it!

Tips for women

Don’t talk when he’s talking Women think they’re adding. For women to add to each others’ sentences is acceptableMost men need a space in which to enter a conversationBelieve what he is sayingMany women believe men speak on many levels and therefore try to find hidden meanings, however usually men say what they mean and mean what they say. Men don’t spend 2 minutes of their day calling another guy to say, “Here’s what she said at breakfast this morning – what do you think she meant?”Be patientA man’s facial expression may be different from a woman’s. He may talk more slowly or pause more often than a woman, when this happens, let his thoughts flow, don’t speak during his pauses.

Tips for men

Listen to a woman all the way throughSometimes women will talk in order to process information or to figure out what they want to do – instead of thinking in silence and then stating a conclusion (like a man). If you recognise this is happening, just let her thoughts progress ie allow her to talk. Don’t rush her – prompting her interrupts the thought process, which can cause her to feel slighted/ annoyed.Give her your full attentionLook at her in the eye (This may be different in different cultures). This response shows you care about what she is saying. Be patientHer pace when talking may be different from yours. She may want to cover more subjects than you in the same conversation, often flitting from one thing to another.

At the end of the day, remember we communicate differently – make an effort to

accommodate those differences. There is no right and wrong. I hope you have a very

happy Valentine’s Day. Concentrate on acceptance and enjoying each other’s company,

to my mind, that’s more important than the red roses and cards – especially in these

‘financially challenged’ times.

Please feel free to drop me a line to comment or question nigel@coachonthecouch.

co.uk.

Coach on the Couch


48

The premier group on the Costa Blancafor legally registered businesses.

Need a tradesman or a service?

Find out more about our services and guaranteesto our customers at:

www.tibacb.com

Any legal businesses wishing to join

The International Business AssociationE-mail: [email protected]

Have confidence in who you call

Tel: 902 906 015


The Long and Winding RoadThe future calls, yet you may not be ready this month. Circumstances could prevent you from reaching your goals, yet there are many positive reasons to maintain hope. Now is the time to keep your eyes out of the past and on the prize. A trip to Santa Pola market will help – a bargain is waiting for you…and a bloke selling tissues.

For the Good of AllNow is the time to imagine a future filled with work that satisfies the soul. Your discarded dreams are revived now, yet your attention is directed more toward the care and happiness of others rather than yourself this month. Your application to be a lifeguard in Alicante is turned down…yes, even with the water wings on.

False StartYour natural restlessness can turn this into a frustrating time if you actually believe that everything should simply fall into place this month. Whether your work is inland or on the coast, a sign from a Spanish farmer driving a tractor is imminent. But ignore him – that’s just rude. You may continue to struggle with a lack of resources, yet you are able to comprehend the difference between impossible dreams and those that can come true.

Time to HealMuch of this month is about establishing a new direction, Leo. Connect-ing with others is key now, and your forgiving side emerges to allow you to move past old emotional pains. But the month isn’t all about feelings -- the rest of your focus goes toward handling finances and managing your resources. Or better still, pop into the bar, watch the footy, get bladdered and neither feelings nor direction will matter.

Spirit of CooperationThis lovey-dovey month could be especially sweet for you, Virgo. There’s an overflow of inspiration to elevate your spirit and enrich your daily life. Remember the one who winked at you in La Marina? No? She’s now got the other eye working too so you’re in with a chance. You can now smooth out the rough edges of unsatisfying connections by forgiving and letting go of little issues that don’t matter anymore, like twitches.

Dream the Impossible DreamYou may feel as if you’ve been knocked off course and it’s now time to put your life back on track. New opportunities in the form of hungry people and a big M on your work hat will prove tough but ideal. You’re being offered a chance to create new dreams to feed your soul. mag-nifying the healing power of compassion and love. Relying on critical thinking can only take you so far. Set logic aside and let your uninhibited intuition reveal what’s in your future.

From Darkness to DreamlandYour famously powerful feelings are especially delightful this month. You are able to release your restrained desires in constructive ways, but beware the onset of frustration when people or situations reveal themselves as less than perfect. Queuing in the CAM bank will take up most of your month but with the rest of the time try and watch an advert on TV. A fresh light is cast on old patterns to excite you with new pos-sibilities now.

A New DawnThere’s good news for you this month. Although your life is improving, remember that the hard work of stabilizing your finances doesn’t happen overnight - but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, the only problem is it’s the Guardia, and you haven’t got your lights on. Cast hopelessness aside in favour of realizing the good times that are ahead.

Growing PainsThis is a month of adjustments, Capricorn. Changing conditions require you to alter your course to avoid running into resistance from others. Taking the time to make a few simple adjustments now can make your life drastically easier down the road.A trip to Pinoso will prove fruitful in more ways than one.

To Thine Own Self Be TrueThe heaviness of last month is waning and you’re now able to grow more progressive in your thinking. There’s magic to be found in your personal faith as you face the sometimes harsh realities of everyday life. But looking on the bright side flights are fairly cheap so the in-laws will be over soon...

Magical Mystery TourYour life gets a little rosier this month, the Spanish sun will shine on your special day, unless it rains, or its cloudy. Your general manner and appear-ance are more appealing as you’re enjoying life’s little delights and shar-ing those good feelings with others. Your recharged imagination allows you to see that those dreams that seem far out of reach are actually closer than you think, although some of them are not always strictly legal…

CancerDiscovering Buried TreasureObstacles may arise this month, yet these challenges can bring out your resourceful side and allow you to uncover assets that were previously hidden. Your life is full of unexpected events and generous, like-minded individuals.

MARCH 2010

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DIGINOVASanta Pola Tel 660 631 380 KOOL KLIMATEAll Areas Tel. 96 679 1184MAYOGran Alacant Tel 665 063 228REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax, Tel 96 112 0244 ALBERGUEBacarot Tel 96 596 0224

BAR DE RISAHondon Tel. 96 548 2047LOS BELGASGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8298LOUNGE BARLa Marina Tel. 96 679 0506PHOENIX BARLa Marina Tel. 663588340 SUNSET BARGran Alacant Tel. 664 277 986

LA MARINA ANIMAL WELFARELa Marina Tel 96 679 5593MALVINA BOOKSLa Romana Tel. 96 569 6656

ALTOMARGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 9353CLIVE COOMBERGran Alacant Tel 669 593 212MAYOGran Alacant Tel 665 063 228REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel: 96 541 4040

TIBAAll Areas Tel. 902 906 015

XTRA RENT A CARSanta Pola Tel 607 850 664 HONDON RENT A CARHondon Tel 96 610 5205

MAYOGran Alacant Tel 665 063 228REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

RENAULTSanta Pola Tel 96 541 3746PERFORMANCE & DIESELGuardamar Tel. 96 610 7606VILLAGE GARAGECatral Tel. 667 369 043

FWR CARSEl Altet Tel. 96 568 7976RENAULTSanta Pola Tel 96 541 3746CLUB CARSLa Marina TEL. 96 618 0006

CAR SERVICE CENTRELa Marina Tel. 650 821 082HEADLAMP EXCHANGELa Marina Tel. 96 610 8938 LEGAL SOLUTIONSLa Marina Tel. 96 679 6060RE-REGISTRATION SPECIALISTSLa Marina Tel. 650 821 082

MONTE MAR BOWLS CLUBGran Alacant Tel: 96 669 8676

BLUE MOON SOLUTIONSAll Areas Tel. 655 044 970SPANISH INKSAll Areas www.spanishink.com

ANDREA BURNSGran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824JLCA LAWYERSGran Alacant Tel 96 669 8796

ALBA DENTALAlbatera Tel. 664 722 154BRITISH DENTAL PRACTICE La Marina Tel 96 679 6603DENTURES DIRECTGran alacant Tel. 619 185 122

SANTA POLA DIVE ACADEMYSanta Pola Tel. 677 670 468

CLINICA GRAN ALACANTGran Alacant Tel: 96 669 7411EMERGENCY Tel 608 666 455

APPLIANCE FIXGran Alacant Tel. 96 618 3024EURONICSGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5365

CCW ELECTRICALGran Alacant Tel 617 872 405 DIGINOVASanta Pola Tel 660 631 380REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel: 96 541 4040

FLAMENCO - LOS LUNARESGran Alacant Tel 96 669 5399

IPGLa Marina Tel. 96 679 5233MASA INTERNATIONALGran Alacant Tel. 629 251 747TOP ALACANTGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7357

FARMACIA GRAN ALACANTGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7471

BILLERICKYAll Areas Tel. 96 238 9622ANDREA BURNSGran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824ABACO Torrevieja Tel 96 670 3748WWBAll Areas Tel. 96 619 6563

SECOND HAND FURNITURELa Marina Tel. 96 644 3370BARCLAYS NEARLY NEW San Fulgencio Tel. 96 672 5725NEW 2 YOUAll Areas Tel. 96 571 5605

JUST WILLIAMLa Marina Tel. 667 003 367

FRANCESC AGULLOGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5031JO MOBILE HAIRDLa Marina Tel. 96 679 0920

BRITISH DENTAL PRACTICE La Marina Tel 96 679 6603FRANCESC AGULLOGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5031FINISHING TOUCHESLa Romana Tel. 637 993 667JPS FITNESSAll Areas Tel. 693 596 532

CENTRAL OPTICAGran Alacant Tel: 966 698 802

DIGINOVASanta Pola Tel: 660 631 380REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040

CHIMNEY SWEEPAll Areas Tel. 620 650 220MOZISTOPAll Areas Tel. 659 259 319TINA’S MOBILE CATERINGHondon Tel. 690 289 044WISHES & DREAMSAlbatera Tel. 636 948 581

ALMARCHA INSURANCELa Marina Tel. 96 572 9747ALMARCHA INSURANCEGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7262GLOBELINKAll Areas Tel. 96 626 5000ROWLAND INSURANCESanta Pola Tel 96 541 3076

GOLD WANTEDAll Areas Tel. 664 890 990NIKOLAS MICHAELQuesada Tel. 634 043 060

JEAN & DAVE’SHondon Tel. 660 969 529LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax, Tel 965 475 463

ROSA MARTINEZGran Alacant Tel 616 779 034

JLCA LAWYERSGran Alacant Tel: 966 698 796

MOZISTOPAll Areas Tel. 659 259 319

MALCOLM PALMERSanta Pola Tel 96 608 2454

CARE IN THE COMMUNITYAll areas Te. 96 597 5459

CENTRAL OPTICAGran Alacant Tel 966 698 802SPECSAVERSTorrevieja Tel. 96 692 7249


MAYOGran Alacant Tel 665 063 228REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040JULIOGran Alacant Tel. 697 314 022

CLINICA VETERINARIASanta Pola Tel 96 669 2328LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELSSax Tel 96 547 5463 MOUNTAIN VIEW CAT HOTELHondon Tel. 96 667 7273


DMF PLUMBINGAll Areas Tel. 96 679 9740REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040

OFFEXAll Areas Tel. 96 672 0959

OPI RENTALSGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7438La Marina Tel. 96 679 5422INVEST SPAIN Elche Tel. 96 542 9396

MISTER VANAll Areas Tel. 697 775 588BMC TRANSPORTTorrevieja Tel. 620 044 983

COCOA’S Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8509FOGO DEL MESTRECrevillente Tel. 96 540 5468LA NAOSanta Pola LOS LUNARESGran Alacant Tel 96 669 5399LOUNGE BARLa Marina Tel. 96 679 0506OUR PLAICE FISH & CHIPSLa Marina Tel. 96 679 5418RINCON MONTE MARGran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7483SAFFRONGran Alcant Tel. 96 669 8098SUNSET BARGran Alacant Tel. 664 277 986WISHING WELL Dolores Tel. 96 671 1653

SALVADOR ARTESANOElche Tel. 96 667 5441

ACTION SIGNSAll Areas Tel. 96 599 8927CORTES SIGNSSanta Pola Tel. 686 464 076

JLCA LAWYERSGran Alacant Tel: 966 698 796

TOLDOS PENALVERSanta Pola Tel. 96 543 2350

EUROSTRETCHERAlmoradi Tel. 96 671 6790KJ’sPinoso Tel. 96 547 8484SAV€WAY Benijofar Tel. 669 611 653

GA POOLS Gran Alacant Tel 628 030 184PJ’sAll Areas Tel 619 501 657

REFORMNOVAGran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040

ANDREA BURNSGran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824JLCA LAWYERSGran Alacant Tel: 966 698 796

ESTANCO 7Santa Pola Tel. 96 669 4716

ANDREA BURNSGran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824MITCH BULL Gran Alacant Tel. 638 608 422

BMC TRANSPORTTorrevieja Tel. 620 044 983TAXISanta Pola Tel 609 959 408

DIGINOVASanta Pola Tel 660 631 380SIMULSATSanta Pola Tel. 677 878 210

CLINICA VETERINARIASanta Pola Tel 96 669 8463

BARS

BUILDING / MAINTENANCE

FURNITURE

CAR SALES

HAIRDRESSERS

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HEALTH & BEAUTY

COMPUTERS

ELECTRICIANS/ELECTRONIC

CAR TRANSFERS

BOOKS

FISCAL

DOCTORS

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HEATING

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CLUBS / SOCIETIESHEARING

CARPENTRY

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CAR HIRE

OPTICIANS

NATURE

PETS

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TV

VETS

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REMOVALS

RESTAURANTS

SUNBLINDS

SIGNS / SIGN WRITING

ESTATE AGENTS

GARDENING

POSTAL

SWIMMING POOL (MAINTENANCE)

AIR CONDITIONING

B U S I N E S S D I R E C T O R Y

PAINTERS / DECORATORS

KENNELS

ENTERTAINMENT

DIVING

INSURANCE

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55

the jungle drums

Documents

good reason

mayor of santa pola

years old

broken bike

powerful bike

age okand

med santa polaintroduced

short space of time