The Jewish Wedding Ceremony Step-by-Step

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TischKetubaKabalat PanimBack to Menu

kallahKabalat PanimTenaim

BedekenBack to Menu

Origins of the CeremonyWhat happens in bedeken?kallah - The kallah is the Hebrew word for a brideBack to Kabalat PanimWhat is Kabalat Panim?Kabalat Panim literally means greeting of the faces. Kabalat Panim is one of the ceremonies that happens before the chupah ceremony. The kallah is surrounded by her female relatives, friends and bridesmaids. She sits on a throne (fancy chair) decorated with flowers. She greets her guests and gives blessings as well as receives congratulations and warm wishes for her new life.

Back to Kabalat PanimTenaimFrom the 12th to early 19th century, the tenaim were announced when two families had a match between their children. The official document, a pre-nuptual contract, was also called tenaim. After the document was signed, a piece of crockery was smashed. A current Ashkenazi tradition is that the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom break a plate. It shows the commitment in a marriage. A broken plate can never be fully repaired. Neither can a broken relationship.

Back to Kabalat PanimBirkat Hamazon for a WeddingThe Birkat Hamazon means the grace after the meal. We recite it after meals to show that we are grateful to have food and not take it for granted. The sheva brachot (seven blessings) recited under the chupah are repeated once after the ceremony at the festive meal. The Birkat Hamazon is said using one cup of wine, and the sheva brachot are recited with another cup of wine. After they are both done, the two cups of wine are mixed together and the chatan and kallah drink it together. We also say the Birkat Hamazon in class because you cant just recite it at a wedding, you should say it after every meal to show your gratitude to God.

Back to Seudat MitzvaSheva BrachotSheva brachot is a smaller celebration that takes place in the week following the wedding for those who could not attend the wedding. In order to recite the sheva brachot, a minyan must be present. It can also be a way for a couple to get used to their new life with the company of extended family and community. Couples who do sheva brachot postpone their honey moon until after the sheva brachot feast. For a complete list of the brachot see the Nissuin page.

Back to Seudat MitzvaBiblical Reasons, Traditions, and Variations of the Bedeken CeremonyBedeken has many biblical meanings and reasons relating to the torah. One of the stories is when Leah veils herself during the wedding when she marries Jacob so he cant see her face and see that she was not Rivkah. There is also another story that Rebecca veils herself when her husband, Isaac, is coming. She asks her servant, Eliezer, if it is Isaac that is coming toward them, and yes, it is. This is the moment where the tradition of the chatan veiling the bride. It is said that the process of bedeken is to never be done without the chatan in the presence of this intriguing ceremony, because without him being there, the veil has no meaning.

When the objects were taken into the tabernacle, they were veiled before being taken by the Levites. The wedding ceremony isnt that different. The chatan veils what is important to him for a holy and special ceremony. The special and precious items are veiled and then done with in a special way. The kallah is veiled and then is also done with in a special way as well.

It is said that if you see Hashem, you will die. When Moshe goes up to mount Sainai to get the Ten Commandments he puts a veil over his face to not see the unseen. I think that it is related to the superstition of not seeing your spouse until the wedding day. When the chatan sees the kallah for the first time that day it is kind of like saying that each others love is so much that they dont die but their love cannot be stopped and they are kind of just in their own world.

There is also an opinion that is kind of related to the ketuba. When the father of the kallah signs over the responsibility of the kallah to the chatan, he makes a public statement that he will clothe and dress his wife and symbolizes that by veiling her. Some other things and traditions that are done around the ceremony of bedeken happen in the old Jerusalem community. They make sure that the veil is completely opaque so the bride cannot see nor have others seeing her. In some places and communities the rabbi veils the kallah instead of the chatan and says the blessing over her O sister! May you grow into a thousand myrids.

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