Comfort Zone

What does success mean to you?

How do you want to feel?

Your Comfort Zone has 3 key points:

Your Unconscious Upper Limit (UUL) – The Stall Mechanism

Your Unconscious Lower Limit (ULL) – The Kickstart Mechanism

The Neutral State (NS)

Statistics says that up to 75% of our daily activity is determined by our subconscious mind –beliefs that we hold about the world, people and ourselves.

•You subconscious beliefs determine what you think and what you feel.

•What you think and what you feel in turn determines how you act.

•You actions determine your results.

•Always.

Your Unconscious Upper Limit (UUL) – The Stall Mechanism

•This limit is tightly connected with the concept of self-worth.

•Everyone has it.

•Successful people learned how to raise it.

Your Unconscious Lower Limit (ULL) – The Kickstart Mechanism

•It is the level, where your subconscious associates a threat for your survival with the current situation.

The only reason your subconscious installs limits within you is to protect you.

The Neutral State (NS)

•This the state where you are okay with a situation.

•Not great, not bad, but okay.

•You have an subconscious internal feeling of comfort within a certain range.

Establishing Your Comfort Scales

•The key to this is focusing on your body feelings.

•Your body feelings will tell you much more precisely how comfortable you are with a situation, then your intellect.

Let’s establish a scale from 1 to 10.

1 being so much discomfort and pain, that there is no way to tolerate it. This is the ultimate life threat.

10 meaning the most enjoyable state you could think of.

5 would be neutral, so this would be the Neutral State (NS), where you are okay with a situation. It isn’t great and it isn’t bad, just okay.

Establish your Comfort Scale for HAVING THE MONEY

1. Consider you current annual income.

2. Think about how comfortable you would feel if you HAD 10%, 20%, 30% and more money per year.

3. Then think about making 10% less per year or 20% or 30%.

Step 1 – Dialogue With Your Fear

•Ask your subconscious, why there are feelings of discomfort associated with you making more money.

•Write down in your journey what comes to your mind. What negative consequences might be associated. Write them down.

•Consider if these are actual, real problems, that could occur.

Step 2 – Associating Comfort With the Steps Beyond Your Current Comfort Zone

•Remember the good feelings of comfort in your body (choose intuitively from Level 6-10) Imagine doing the thing (e.g. imagine making 90,000$)

•Now listen to your body. Once you really think about it, those old feelings of doubt, worry and discomfort will come back.

•Drop the picture and try to remember the feelings of comfort again in your body

•Bring back the pictures of you making it happen (e.g. making 90,000$)

•If your feeling of comfort vanishes, drop the picture again, bring back the good feelings and then bring in the pictures again.

•Do it for at least 7 days before going to sleep and early in the morning.

• Better 30 days.

Limiting Beliefs

Fear of greatnessAs Marianne Williamson said in her book, a Return to Love (1992):

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us."

Your playing small doesn't serve the world.There's nothing enlightened about shrinkingso that other people won't feel insecure around you”

•Fear of failure

•Fear of Rejection

•I don’t deserve it/I am not good enough

Becoming conscious of the belief helps to let it go.

Finish the sentences below..I think the world is …I think I am …I think people areI think my job is …I think my health is …I think my financial power is …I think that my ability to experience love, joy, ecstasy is …I think … you may come up with anything else that is in your life here

•Now write down the predominant thoughts of someone who is truly amazing in this area. •Spend 5 minutes a day writing down these new, empowering thoughts and repeat them throughout the day.

The Inner Game of SuccessFebruary 16, 2010

Meetup: Positivity Place

Nancie A. Vito, MPH, CHES, CTACCPersonal Development Coach

www.flourishwellness.org

www.Meetup.com/Flourish

The Flourish System

–Determine Vision–Set Goals –Stay Motivated, Positive, Optimistic–Reduce Stress –Restructure thoughts–FLOURISH

New Year’s Resolution?

• How’s your resolution going?

• Many people talk about resolutions but often do not have a plan on how to accomplish their goal. (I've been there, believe me! :-) )

So, what are your intentions?

• Without a map, we wouldn't know where we're going.

• If we have a destination in mind, we really need to plan how we're going to get there.

Determine Your Vision

• What is your vision?

• What is it that you REALLY want?

• Become clear first. Crystal clear!

What is YOUR vision?

• What are your intentions? • Write them down. • Come up with an action plan that will allow your

vision to come to fruition. • Your plan doesn't have to be perfect, but TAKING

ACTION towards a goal is essential.

• Action plans should be: SMART – Specific– Measurable– Attainable– Realistic– Time Sensitive

– Include daily, weekly, monthly objectives…

Breaking it down…

– Break it all up into smaller, doable steps. • Important so that we do not get overwhelmed with a

huge goal.

– This is where people often get stuck, get discouraged or do not know where to start.

– For example, a goal of losing 30 lbs can start with losing 4 pounds by February, then a total of 10 pounds by March, etc.

Doable?

– Your action plan has to seem DOABLE to you.

– You should be pretty confident at the time you set the goals that you will be able to achieve them. In other words, it has to be believable to you.

Staying Motivated

• What is the REASON for wanting the specific outcome to come to fruition?

• Keep original purpose / reason for end result in mind.

• Sometimes we lose sight of our original motivation when we get wrapped up in everyday details.

• Helps to have an accountability partner.

If you feel yourself getting off track

– Be mindful!– Remember your dream!– Visualize it!– Write it down on paper. – Tell someone.– If you think it may be helpful, ask someone to

remind you of your dream.

Celebrate Your Victories

• If you find yourself becoming discouraged along the way:• Remember to congratulate yourself on each step • Celebrate the small victories.

• After all, the little accomplishments and choices we make will eventually allow our dream to come to fruition.

JUST BELIEVE.

– Finally, you have to BELIEVE, not just wish or hope.

– Believe in yourself fully and rid yourself of negative belief systems, ruminations or even excuses about *not* being able to reach your goal.

– We often hold ourselves back. – Ideas would not come to us if we did not have the

resources (or access to the resources) to implement the ideas.

Be Mindful

• Being conscious and aware is CRUCIAL.

• Are you living on purpose?

• Are your daily actions contributing towards your ultimate goal?

• Energy, action, focus and momentum are all key!

Reduce Stress

• De-clutter your life.• Give yourself an extra 15 minutes to arrive.• Surround yourself with positive people.• Become mindful of patterns (mental,

emotional, behavioral patterns) that hold you back.

• Achieve better work/life balance.

USE HUMOR!“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be. You can survive it.”

–Bill Cosby

So Laugh!

• Try to find something funny in every situation.• “Life is not a stress rehearsal.”

— Loretta Laroche• Our culture waits to have fun.

Thoughts

Feelings

Actions

Optimism

• Some people are naturally optimists

• We can learn optimism (M. Seligman)

Pessimists vs Optimists

• Pessimists tend to have thoughts that are permanent and pervasive: (Seligman)

• Example of different explanatory styles:– You forget a spouse’s birthday.• I’m not good at remembering birthdays. (permanent)• OR: I was preoccupied with other things.

Positivity

• Focus on what you HAVE (not on what you do not have)

• Find the “bless” in the “mess”

• Think of 3 positive aspects to every situation

• GRATITUDE (create a daily inventory)

Positivity

• To experience 100% positivity defies and denies the humanness of life. (B. Fredrickson)

• Aim for a positivity ratio of 3:1– 3 positive emotional experiences to every negative

emotional experience (the tipping point)

Stopping the cycle

• Distract yourself (with healthy distractions)

• Dispute the thought with evidence.

• Tell yourself to STOP! • Don’t ruminate.• Wear a rubber band & snap

it when you have automatic negative thoughts.

What you focus on E X P A N D S

Move forward with mindfulness

• Don’t focus your energy on the problem– What are you going to do? What is the solution?– Reframe into pieces that you can manage right now

• Don’t overwhelm yourself– Cognitive Distortions / Irrational and Distorted

Thinking: Don’t try to be perfect

• Live in the moment: Be present and focused

"Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine... And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Marianne Williamson

QUESTIONS?

Flourish!

• Are you Languishing or Flourishing?– I can help!– Set up a 30-minute session at no charge.

Thank you!!