TheWeddingExplained

TableofContents[hide]

1TheEssentialsofaHinduMarriage2SrijasandGaneshsWedding3PreWeddingRituals(weekstomonthsbeforethewedding)

3.1TheEngagement3.2Muhurtham:SettingaDateandTimefortheWedding

4PreWeddingRituals(daysbeforethewedding)4.1Pellikoothuru(DeclarationasaBride)4.2Mehindi(DecoratingtheBride)4.3Pellikoduku(DeclarationasaGroom)4.4Aarti

5TheDayBeforetheWedding5.1Snaathakam(Convocationorprologuetomarriage)5.2KashiYatra5.3EduruSannaham:Receivingthegroomwithhisfamilyandfriends5.4Nalugulu

6TheDayoftheWedding6.1PreliminaryEvents

6.1.1MangalaSnaanam6.1.2InitiationoftheEvent6.1.3GauriPooja6.1.4Ankurararpanam6.1.5GaneshPoojaonthestagebytheGroom6.1.6Sankalpam6.1.7RecitationofthePravara(AnnouncementofLineage)6.1.8YajnopavitaDharana(TheWearingoftheadditionalstrandsofsacredthread)6.1.9Mahasankalpam:ThegreatSankalpam6.1.10Mangalashtakam:Eightversesseekingwellbeing,prosperityandgoodfortune

6.2GivingtheBrideAway6.2.1TheArrivaloftheBride6.2.2Terasalla:Thecurtainthatseparatesbrideandgroomuntilthemuhurtham6.2.3Kanyadaan

6.3MainEvents6.3.1Muhurtham:Themostimportantpartofthewedding6.3.2SumuhurtaAkshata6.3.3KanyasudhiorVadhuparisuddhi6.3.4ArrivaloftheBrideandGroomintheNewAttirefortheCompletionoftheWedding6.3.5JyotuluSumangali6.3.6PrayertotheMangalaSutra6.3.7MangalasutraDharana(TyingoftheMangalsutrawiththreeknots)6.3.8MangalaSutraAkshata6.3.9Yoktrabandhana6.3.10Talambaraalu6.3.11BrahmaMudiandRakshabandhana

6.4RitualsBeforeaSacredFire6.4.1PradhanaHomam6.4.2PaniGrihanam6.4.3PradhanaHomam:TheCircumambulationaroundtheHolyFire6.4.4Saptapadi6.4.5LajaHomam6.4.6AsmarohanaorSilarohana6.4.7PravesaHomam,ArundhatiandDhruvaDarshan6.4.8Sthaalipaakam6.4.9SadasyamandPhalpradhanam6.4.10Seshahomam6.4.11DampatiTamboolalu6.4.12Nakabali6.4.13Sachipooja6.4.14Appagintalu

7PostWeddingRituals7.1Vididigrihapravesam7.2Grihapravesh7.3SatyanarayanaPoojaandVenkateswaraDeeparadhana7.4UnitingtheMangalasutra

TheEssentialsofaHinduMarriage

ThedetailedexplanationbelowwascarefullyandpainstakinglywrittenbyGaneshsfather,Dr.NarasimhamDasikaaftercollectinganddigestinginformationfromseveralbooksandfromhisownexpansiveknowledgeofancientritesandrituals.Wethankhimimmenselyforputtinginthetimeandefforttodothis.Itisatremendousresourceforusasanewbrideandgroomtohelpusbetterunderstandthemeaningoftheweddingceremonyandthepromiseswemakeforahappymarriagetogether.Itisalsobeneficialforyou,ourguests,tohelpyoufollowalongduringtheceremony.

AnidealHinduliferevolvesaroundfourstagescalledrams,thefirstofwhichisastageofeducationasabachelor(brahmacharyarams),thesecondisthatofahouseholder(gruhastaram),thethirdisthatofanelderlyrecluse(vnaprastharam),andfinallyarenouncerofworldlybelongings(sanysaram).ThefirststageofBrahmacharyaconcludeswiththewedding.InancientIndianculture,vivaha,ormarriage,isconsideredasasocialarrangementfortheinitiationofalifelongcompanionshipandlawfulunionbetweenamanandawomanforthepurposeofleadingalifeofDharma(fulfillmentofdutiestowardstheirancestors,descendantsandthesocietyinwhichtheylive),Artha(creationandmanagementofwealth),Kama(physicalunionforprogeny),andfinallytoachieveMoksha(liberationofsoulforeternalhappiness)withgooddeeds.

Ontheotherhand,theweddingisaneventfilledwithdeeplymeaningfulandsymboliccombinationofrituals,prayersandtraditionsattheconclusionofwhichthecoupleareexpectedtoleadalifeofperfectmonogamouscompanionshipwithmutualrespect,dependenceandlove.LovebeginswiththemarriageaccordingtoHindutradition.TheritualsofaHinduwedding,oftenreferredtoasaVedicwedding,arederivedfromancientscripturescalledVedas,writteninSanskrit.TheVedasarescripturesfromIndoAryanculture,thetextsofwhichweretransmittedorallyfromgenerationtogenerationwithspecificintonationandrhythm.Theyarebelievedtobeatleast4,000yearsold.TheritualsandVedicincantationsprovidesomeofthefoundationsofaHindumarriagetoprovideabindingspiritualandreligioussacramentwithprogressivelovebetweenamanandwoman.

Duringthewedding,severalritualsaretobecompletedinanorderlyfashion.Theweddingis

finallydeemedcompleteonlyinthepresenceofAgni,thefirediety,whenthebrideandgroomtogethermakesevencirclesaroundasacredfireandtakesevenstepswhilerecitingvowstoeachotherwiththefireastheprimarywitness.Duringtheprocess,theythanktheSunforitslightandenergy,theEarthforthefood,Varun(theraindeity)forwater,Agni,andVayu(thewinddiety)forair.Theprayersandritualsaretojointhesoulsofbrideandgroomandtocreateastrongtiebetweenthetwofamilies.

SrijasandGaneshsWedding

Ourweddingwillbeconductedovertwodays.ThemanyritesandritualswhichareapartofourweddingincorporatevowsinSanskritwithgreatsignificanceinthepresenceoffire,concealedprayerstofiveelements,thesymbolicreplayofcelestialeventsandextensiveprayerstoseektheblessingsoftheplanets,celestialholymenandultimatelytheGod.WehavemadeanattempttodescribetheeventsofaVedicHinduweddinginEnglishwithtranslationofkeypartsofthevowsbybrideandgroom.WewouldliketosharethesignificanceoftheseelaborateHinduweddingritualsandtheconcealedmeaningwithallofyou.

PreWeddingRituals(weekstomonthsbeforethewedding)

TheEngagement

Wehadourengagementonthe21 ofDecember,2012.Onthatday,theformalceremonyinfrontofwitnesses,mostlyclosefriendsandrelativesofbothparties,beganwithprayerstoLordGaneshtoremovealltheobstacles.Followingtheinvocationofhislineage,thefatherofthebridemadeaformalproposalforthemarriagealliance.Thefatherofthegroomwhileacceptingtheproposalgaveahappyandaffirmativeresponsetodeclarehiscommitmentfortheunionofthefamiliesthroughtheinstitutionofmarriagebetweenthegroomandthebride.Thiswasfollowedbymoreprayers,giftstobrideandgroomandexchangeofclothesandgiftsbetweenfamilies.Attheconclusionofthefunctionbothparentsagreetoconsultlearned

st

priestswithknowledgeofastrologytosetadateforthewedding.

Muhurtham:SettingaDateandTimefortheWedding

SettingadateforaVedicweddingisanextremelycomplexprocessofcalculationofplanetarypositionstomatchtwovariables.Thevariablesaretheplanetarypositionsattheexacttimeofbirthofbrideandgroom.TheconstellationofplanetsandtheirrelationshipsshouldmatchinaharmoniouswaywhenthegroomtouchesthebrideandlooksintohereyeswhiletheVedicversesarebeingrecitedbythepriests.Thisspecifictimehastobeinonlycertainlunarmonthsconsideredauspiciousforawedding.Ifitisintheday,ithastobebeforethenoonwhilethesonisascending.Thetimehastobecorrectedbyafewminutesbasedonthecalculatedtimeofsunriseandsunsetattheplaceofwedding,onthatday.OurfamilyastrologerinIndia,followingseveralhoursofcalculationdecidedthat2 June2013,at8:10AM,isthemostappropriatetimefortheWedding.ThistimeiscalledMuhurtaminsanskrit.

PreWeddingRituals(daysbeforethewedding)

Acanopyiserectedatthehouseofbride3to4daysbeforewedding.

Pellikoothuru(DeclarationasaBride)

Thisceremonyinvolvesanointingthebridewithoilandturmericbywomenfolk.Thewomenfolkpoundturmericrootsatthattime.

Laterthebridedonsnewclothesfollowingabath.Thebridetobewearsflowersinherhair.Sheadornsherforeheadwithabindiorvermilliondotandwearsbanglesonherwrists.Alltheelderlywomenandtheirhusbandsthathadalonghappymarriedlifeareinvitedtoblessthebridetohaveasimilarhappymarriedlife.Thisfunctionstakesplaceatbridesresidence.

nd

Mehindi(DecoratingtheBride)

Followingthebridalbath,apasteorpowderfromtheleavesofHennaplantisusedtocreateelaborativedecorativepatternsonthehandsandfeetofthebrideonthisday.Followinganhourormoreofcontactofhennawithskin,adelicateshadeofreddishbrowncolorisimpartedontheappliedareas.Thisformsastrikingcontrastontheskinthathasalreadyacquiredagoldenhuewiththeearlierapplicationofturmericbeforeherbath.Thefriendsandrelativesofthebridemayalsoparticipateintheevent.

Pellikoduku(DeclarationasaGroom)

Thisfunctionisheldinaseparatevenueatthegroomsplaceofresidenceorhotel,andissimilarinallaspectstothemakingofabride.FollowingtheceremonialbaththegroomwearsaDhoti(Indiandress)andisadornedwithTilakam,thereddotontheforehead.Womensingfolksongsandblessthegroom.

Aarti

Afterthedeclarationevents,theirfamiliesperformAartiaceremonythatinvolvesplacingalitoillampordiyaonaplateandcirclingtheplatearoundapersoninaclockwisedirection.

Theclockwisemovementisfollowedtoimitatetheearthsmovementaroundthesun.Theceremonyissignificantasitcarrieswithitthefamilysprayerthatthemindofthebrideandgroombeilluminatedbywisdom.

TheDayBeforetheWedding

Snaathakam(Convocationorprologuetomarriage)

Thisritualisperformedatthebridegroomsplaceofresidenceorinourcasethehotel.ThegroomhascompletedhisformalandreligiouseducationandtheritesconstitutehimaDwija(bornagain)intheVedicculture.Toeliminateunknownerrorsinfollowingthevowofbrahmacharya,thegroomandhisparentswouldrepeatalltheVedicritualsdonethusfarinanabbreviatedfashion.SothisfunctionisuniquetoBrahminsandinvolvesbriefrepetitionofallthesacramentsduringGroomslifeuntilnow.ThegroomisnowreadytobecomeaSanyasi(Monkorascetic)byrelinquishingthematerialisticworld,unlesshedecidestomarryandbecomeahouseholder(gruhastaram).Thegroomshedshisfancyattire,wearsasimplecloth,woodensandals,holdsawoodenstickandcarriesonlyanumbrellatoprotecthimfromthewrathofsun.Thereisnodresscodeforgueststoattendthiseventandtypicallyclosefamilyandfriendsattendthisfunction.

KashiYatra

AftertherecitationofVedicversesthegroomstartshistraveltowardsKashi(ThecityofVaranasiinIndia,whichisthespiritualcapitalofIndia)toachievefurtherknowledgeofbrahman(infinitereality)andtheeventiscalledKashiYatra.HisintentionistodevotehimselftoGodandalifeofprayer.Thebrotherofthebride,whoisinsearchofaneligibleGroomforhisunmarriedsister,approacheshimanddecidestoenticehimtomarryhissister.ThebrotherofthebridepersuadesthegroomthatthereislifebeyondeducationandenteringGrihastasramam(householder)bymarryinghissisterisabetterwayoffulfillinghissacredduties.Thebrotheroffersnewclothsandgifts.Asexpected,hesucceedsinconvincingthegroomtomarryhissisterandsymbolicallyweanshimawayfromthepursuitofbecomingaMonk.Thisconcludesthemorningprogramof1 ofJune.ThiswillbefollowedbyLunch.st

EduruSannaham:Receivingthegroomwithhisfamilyandfriends

Thehosts,bridesmotherandfatherandmarriedwomenofbridesfamilywaitattheMandap(Venue)withflowers,Garlandsandotheritemsfortheritual.TheBridegroomarrivesattheweddinghallalongwithhisfamilyandfriendsinaprocession.Theyarethenreceivedbythebridesfamilyandfriends.LiveIndianDrumsandwindinstrumentalmusicbeginstoplay.ThebridesmotherperformsDishti(towardoffevileye)withPaarani(platecontainingredcoloredwater)andthrowsawaythewateralongwiththeevilitcaptures.ThensheperformsAarati(ritualwithanoillamp)bywavingthelight3times,clockwiseinfrontofthegroomandstepsasidetoallowthefatherofthebridetosaywelcomewords.Theotherwomeninthebridesfamilyhelpthehostsininvitingtheguestsandsprinkletheguestswithflowers,perfumedwaterandsometimeswithfancygarlands.Allofthemtogetherwalktowardstheprearrangedstage.SincethissegmentoftheweddingisnotaccordingtoancientVedictradition,guestsandhostswearsuitsorothertypesofnontraditionalattire.

Acoolsugarydrinkandlightsnacksareservedtothegueststomakethemhappyandcomfortable.Familyandfriendsofbothpartiesintroduceeachotherinaveryinformalwayandmakenewfriendsandacquaintance.Afewminuteslaterthegueststaketheirseatsinthevenue,thebrideandthegroomareseatedonthestage,withselectedfamilymembersontherespectivesides.

Theprieststartsthefunctionwithabriefworshipservicebyrecitingafewversesofprayers.Onbehalfofthetwofamiliesabouttobeunitedthroughthesolemnceremonyofthewedding,oneoftheelderswelcomesalltheguestsandrequeststhemtobeseated.Thepriestofthehost,withtheentireassemblyaswitness,announcesthelineageofthebrideandspeaksafewwordsabouttheirfamily.Thepriestofthegroomthenannouncesthelineageofthegroomandspeaksafewwordsabouthisfamilybackground.Hethendeclarestheintentionsofthebridesfathertoseekalliancewaswholeheartedlyacceptedbythegroomsfather.Hefurtherdeclaresthattheeldersofbothfamiliesapprovedthismostappropriateallianceandthemarriagedateandtimehasbeensetandreadsouttheweddinginvitationcardfortheassembly.

Theparentsofbrideandthegroomtreateachotherandtheimmediatefamilymemberswithgifts.Themotherofthegroomthenpresentsgiftssuchasgoldanddiamondornamentsandnewclothes.Thebridemayberequestedtowearthenewclothesandtheornaments.Uponherreturn,thebrideandthegroomareseatednexttoeachother.Thisceremonyconcludeswithblessingsbythepriestsandtheeldersoftheassembly.

Nalugulu

ThisisafuneventandisexclusivelyuniquetoTeluguspeakingfamiliesofthestateofAndhraPradesh.Themainpurposeofthisiseventistobreaktheicebetweenthemembersofthetwofamilies.Duringthiseventthemotherofthebridetriestomakefunoffuturemotherinlawofherdaughterandthemotherofthegroomreciprocatesthegesturewithsimilartongueincheekcomments.Eachpartysingscolloquialsongsintheirnativelanguagetobelittletheotherparty.Thispartyistraditionallyheldonthedayafterthewedding,butcanbeperformedanytimesinceitisnotaVedicevent.Laterbothpartiesjoininaninformaldinner.

TheDayoftheWedding

PreliminaryEvents

MangalaSnaanam

ThebrideandgroomstartthedaywithaMangalaSnaanamoranauspiciousbathearlyonthedayofthewedding.Thebathisfollowedbymeditationtocleanseandpurifytheirthoughtprocessandmakethemreadyforthesacredritestobefollowed.Theyarriveattheweddinghallby6AM.

InitiationoftheEvent

Theparentsofthebridearethehostsofthisentireeventwhichisperformedinaseparate

room,notinthemainMandap(weddingstage).TheystartthedayveryearlyinthemorningbyGanapatiPooja.ThisisfollowedbyPunyahavachanam,aritualtopurifythevenueandallthematerialusedfortheeventandseekblessingsfromthepriestsandelders.Thebridelaterjoinsthemandsitsbytheside.

GauriPooja

ThebrideworshipstheGoddessGauribyperformingGauriPoojawhilethegroomisperformingganeshpoojaonthemainMandap.Duringtheperformanceofthispoojaorworship,thebridetypicallysitsinahandwovenbasketlinedwithasprinkleofunprocessedricegrainswhileperformingthisritual.Giventhecommunitysagrarianheritage,ricegrains(dhnyam)areasymbolofagoodharvest,andthus,prosperity.TheGoddessGauriisreveredasamanifestationofShakti(themostpowerfulmotheroftheuniverse)thepowerandenergybywhichtheworldiscreated,preservedanddestroyed.Shesymbolizesmotherhood,fertilityandthevictoryofgoodoverevil.HindusconsiderGauriandherconsortLordShivaastheidealcoupleintheVedicculture.Theyareoftenworshippedasasingleentity,denotingtheperfectemotional,mentalandphysicalunionbetweenthem.ByinvokingtheGoddessblessings,thebrideseekssimilarstrengthanddivineloveinherownlifeforalongandhappymarriedlifewithherhusband.

Ankurararpanam

Shethensprinklesninekindsofgrains(navadhnylu)inrituallydecoratedearthenpotsfilledwithsoilfromananthill.Theantsbringoutextremelyfineclayfromtheearthoftenfromdepthsofahundredfeettobuildtheirdwelling.Thesoilfromananthillwherenoonestepstheirfootisspecificallycollectedforthispurposesinceitrepresentsasamplefromaverywideareawithnohumanoranimalwaste.Thesepotswiththegrainsinsidethemarepreservedinthebrideshouseforgermination.Thisissymbolicofthegerminationprocessofhumanlifeorprogenyforwhichamarriageisconducted.

Allthehonorableguestsarriveandtaketheirseatsatweddinghallvenueby7AMfortheevent.

GaneshPoojaonthestagebytheGroom

Thebridegroomarrivesby6:30andenterstheMandap,andbowstoalltheguestswithrespect.HethenperformsGaneshPoojainthemandapamorweddinghalljustbeforethemarriageceremony.WorshippingGanesha,theelephantheadedGodisanimportantpartofmostHinduritualsasheisreveredastheremoverofallobstacles.HethenperformsPunyahavachanamandprepareshimselftoacceptthebride.Thefatherofthebridearrives.ThepriestsannouncethelineageofBrideandgroomfrom4generations

Sankalpam

AnyeventofreligioussignificanceinVedicculturestartswiththisevent.Thisisprocessbywhichthepersonthatperformsaritualorpoojahastoannouncetheminutestspecificsoflocation,time,hisidentityandthereasonforperformingtheevent.Theextremelycomplexspecificsincludethecontinent,itsshape,thecountry,geographicrelationrelativetoIndia,nearestOcean,riverorgreatlakes,specificmillennium,specificnamedyear,directionofjourneyofsun,nameofthelunarmonth,dayofthelunarcycleTithi(timetakenbymoontomove12degreesfromsun,15inacycle),dayoftheweek,nameofthestarclosertothemoon,nameoftheperformer,hisancestry,andallthereasonsforperformingthatevent,allinSanskrit.

ThepriestssaythefollowingwordsinSanskrit:

MayyouthegreatassembledgrantthepresenttimetobemostAuspicious.

Mayyouthegreatassembleddeclarethatthisweddingtasktobeauspicious.

MayyouexpressyourBlessings

RecitationofthePravara(AnnouncementofLineage)

SinceancientVedictimes,thepeopleofIndiaareclassifiedintotribes,witheachtribecarryingaspecificnamecalledGotra.ItisnotpermittedtoconductaweddingbetweenamanandwomenofsameGotra,sinceAryantimes,topreventconsanguineousweddings.ThePravarathatincludesthegotra,thegreatsagesofthattribeandthelineageofthepreceding

4generationsofancestorsisannouncedloudlyforeveryonepresenttowitnesstheweddingtohear.Thisisrepeated3timessuchthateveryonepresentagreesthatthelineageisdistinctlydifferent.EveniftheGotrasaredifferent,marriagesarenotapprovedifmorethanonesageiscommon.

Theancestryofthebrideandgroom,includingtheirspirituallineagefromtheearliestsages,andfourgenerationsofforefathersisnarratedbythepriests.TheparentsofthebridearrivefromtheireventtotheMandapamandexpresshappinessthatthegroomissuitableandstarttheKanyadan(aritualtogiveawaythebride).InpreparationfortheKanyadan,thefatherofthebrideoffersadditionalstrandsofsacredthread,somewithceremonialstrandsofsilverandgoldtothegroom.

YajnopavitaDharana(TheWearingoftheadditionalstrandsofsacredthread)

Twomoresetsofsacredthreadsknottedwith3strandseachareaddedtothepreexistingsinglesetwith3strandsofYajopavtam,thegroomhasacrosshischestsincehebeganhispursuitofformaleducationasBrahmachari.The3strandssymbolizehisindebtednesstoTeacher,ParentsandGodincludingthefiveelements.Havingdeclaredhisintenttoletgoofhisbrahmacharyastageduringearlieratsntakam,thegroomnowproceedstotakeonyagnpavtamwiththreethreads.Thefatherofthebridealsooffersadditionalthreadsofgoldandsilver.

Mahasankalpam:ThegreatSankalpam

ThisisthesameasSankalpamdescribedabove,butrecitedinamuchmoreelaboratedwaybeforethemainKanyadanfunction.Thisincludescomprehensivedescriptionoforiginofthebrideandgroomincludingtheoriginsoftheirculture,geographyoftheirland,ancientrulers,holyplaces,andthereasonforgivingawaythebride.Sincetheparentsofthebridearegivingawaytheirbeloveddaughterforthebenefitofprogenyandgrowthofanewfamily,itisconsideredasthegreatestofalldutiesandsacrificesandcallsforaMahasankalpam.Itisabeliefthatthe7generationsofancestorsand7generationsofdescendantsofbridesfatherareblessedbythisgreatevent.

Mangalashtakam:Eightversesseekingwellbeing,prosperityandgoodfortune

Theseare8verseseachofwhichisaddressedtoTrinity,rulersofeightdirections,5elements,greatsages,virtuouswomenenumeratedinepics,9planets,riversandgreattreesincludingallvegetationtolookafterthebrideandgroomwithextremekindness.

GivingtheBrideAway

TheArrivaloftheBride

ThebridearrivesattheMandapambybeingcarriedinabasketbyhermaternaluncles.ShecontinuestositinthesamehandwovenbasketinwhichsheperformedtheGauriPuja.AftersheisplacedontheMandapam,thebrideandgroomfaceeachotherbutareseparatedbyacurtain.

Terasalla:Thecurtainthatseparatesbrideandgroomuntilthemuhurtham

ThecurtainseparatesthemuntilbrideandbridegroomareallowedtolookintoeachotherseyesandtoucheachotheratthetimeofMuhurtam,themostauspicioustimesetbyastrologers.Theyarenottoseeeachotheruntilafterthemuhurtham.

Kanyadaan

TheKanayadaanisthatpartofthemarriageceremonyinwhichthegirlsfamilygivesherawaytothegroom.Hermaternalunclecarriesthebridetobeinabamboobaskettothemandapam,andplacesherinfrontofthegroomseparatedbyacurtainfromgroom.AtthistimethegroomisconsideredtobeapersonificationofLordVishnu.Thepriestinvokestheblessingsoftheancestorsbelongingtothelastsevengenerationsofbothfamilies.ThebridesparentswashthegroomsfeetinagesturethatsymbolizestheirbeliefthatLordVishnu,theprotectoroftheuniversecameintheformofgroom,towhomtheynowoffertheir

daughtershand.Thepriestinvokestheblessingsoftheancestorsbelongingtothelastsevengenerationsofbothfamilies.ThebridesparentswashthegroomsfeetinagesturethatsymbolizestheirbeliefthatheisaformofGodtowhomtheynowoffertheirdaughtershand.TheytreathimwithMadhuparkam,verysweetconcoctionofmilk.Thevedicrecitationoftheeventisasfollows:

KanyamKanakaSampannamkanakabharanairyutham,DashtamiVishnaveThubhyamBrahmalokaJigeeshiya.

VishwambharaSarvabhuta,SakshinyaSarvadevatha,

Kanyamimampradasyami,PithrunamDharanayavai.

KanyamSarvalankrithamSadhvimSuseelayaSudheemathe

PrayathohamprayaghchamiDharmakamardhaSiddhaye

ThebridesfathersaysthatIamgivingthisbeautiful,virtuous,healthyyounglady,borntomeandraisedbyus,foremostamongallyoungwomen,dressedinfinestsilks,wearinggoldornaments,forcontinuationofyourlineage,tobedevotedtoyourwelfareandtomakeyoufitforperformingallthemoralandprescribedreligiousdutiesduringyourmarriedlife.Imayobtainsalvationbythisnobledeed.

ThefatherofthebridefurtherdeclaresthatWithallthebeingsinthisworld,withtheelementsandallthecelestialsasmywitness,Iamgivingthisgirltoyouforthegoodofyourancestorsanddescendantsandforliberationofmyancestors.

ThepriestsonbehalfofBridesfatherreciteMaymydaughtergainprotection,Mayholinessprosper,MaytherebeJoy,Mayshebeawhole,Mayshelivelong,flourish,beatpeace,wellnourished,andcontent.

Mayprosperityprevail,Mayanyillnessbestruckdown,Mayyougrantthis

daytobehappyone,Mayyoublessherwellbeing,mayyougrantherabundance,Mayyougrantherrespectandstatus.

Asaconditionforthisofferinghisdaughterformarriage,thefatherofthebriderequestsapromisefromthegroomforassistingthebrideinrealizingthethreeends:dharma,artha,andkamaandrequesthimtonevertotransgressherrights.Withthesewords,thefatherofthebridepourswateronthehandsofthegroomthroughthehandsofbride.

ReciprocationByGroom:Iaccept

Dharmecha,arthecha,kamechanathicharithavyethi.Datavadeth.NathiCharatavya,NathiCharamiIshallnottransgress

Thegroommakesthepromisebyrepeatingthreetimesthathewillnotfailthebrideinrealizingdharma,arthaandkama,andpromisesnevertotransgressherrights.

ThebridesitsfacingtheeastintheMandapwhilethegroomissittinginfrontfacingher,butseparatedbyacurtaintheterasalla.

MainEvents

Muhurtham:Themostimportantpartofthewedding

Thisisexactlyperformedat8:10AM.Afterthepriestrecitestheweddingslokas(verses)fromtheVedas,thebrideandgroomapplyasmallcakemadefromapasteofcuminseeds(jeera)andrawsugar(jaggery)oneachothersheads,acrossthecurtain.Thesignificanceisslightlybittercuminandsweetjaggerywhengroundtogetherturnintoaninseparablemixture,denotingthatthebrideandgroomaresupposedtobecomeinseparablethroughlifesbitterandsweettimes.Thecakeiskeptexactlyatanteriorfontanel,anesotericaperturethatisbelievedtotransmitvisualandspiritualenergybetweenthemtobecomeaninseparablecouple.

TheTerasallaisthenremoved.Thebrideandthegroomareinstructedtolookintoeachotherseyesandtheplaceinbetweeneyes.ThefollowingVedicversesarechantedatthattime:

DhruvanteRajaVarunoDhruvamDevoBruhspathi

DhruvanthaIndraschaangischaRashtramDhrayathamDhruvam

Whenyouenteryourownkingdomaftermarriage,youwillbeblessedwithstabilitybythekingVaruna(waterdiety),ThecelestialpriestBruhaspati,thekingoftheheavensIndraandAgni(thefireGod).

AbhrathrughneemVarunapathighneemBruhaspathe

IndraPuthrighneemLakshyamThamasyaisavithassuva

OVaruna,maythismarriageresultinprosperitytobridesfamily,OBruhaspati,maythisbrideaugmenttheprogressofherhusband,OIndra,pleaseblessthemtohavechildren.

AghoraChakshurChatushpade

Oblessedbride,mayyoulookatyourhusbandandhisfamilywithkindeyes,bringprosperitytohishouse,havealongmarriedlife,givebirthtochildrenwithvalor,bringlusterandbrilliancetoyournewhome,andbehaveinawaythatevenGodwillbeveryappreciativeofyou.

Theparentsofthebrideexitthestagebriefly.Thebrideandgroomsitsidebyside.

SumuhurtaAkshata

Thosepresentattheweddingshowertheirblessingsonthecouplebysprinklingflowersandturmericcolouredrice(Akshata)onthem.

KanyasudhiorVadhuparisuddhi

Thegroomstandsinfrontofthebride.AsmallYokeisheldontheheadofthebridebythepriests.DropsofholywaterareallowedtodripthroughtheholeoftheyokeafterpassingoverGold.DuringthisritualvedicversesinpraiseofcelestialkingIndrarequestinghimtoeliminateanyhiddendeficienciesinthehealthofthebride,inanidenticalfashionheblessedanotherbrideApalainancienttimes.Theversessay,

Maythiswaterpurifyherandbestowgoldenglowonthebride,andgiveherpeace

Makethisbridefittogivebirthtohealthychildrenofvalor

Maythisbrideblessedbythisholywater,prosperandlivehappilywithherhusband

Thebrideandthegroomnowexitbriefly.

Thegroomandthebridewouldnowchangeintoauspiciousclothes(madhuparkamulu).Fortheremainingrituals,thebridewearsawhitecottonsariwitharedborder,whilethegroomdonsawhitecottondhoti,alsowitharedborder.Whitesignifiespurityandchastity,whileredisacolorthatrepresentsstrength.

ArrivaloftheBrideandGroomintheNewAttirefortheCompletionoftheWedding

Thebrideandthegroomarriveafterdonningtheprescribedcottonclothsforcompletionofthenextsegmentofmarriage.Theritualsofthissegmentaremostlyperformedforconsolidationofmarriage.

JyotuluSumangali

Marriedwomen(Sumangalis),formpairsandarriveinaprocessioncarryinglargetrayswith16and17saucershapedlampsmadefromamixtureofriceflour,sugarandmilk,andtwolargetraysofwetRice.Thelitlampsrepresentsweetnessandlight,twoqualitiesthatthebridebringswithhertothisnewphaseoflife.Thericemixedwithatouchofturmericseekingabundanceofthesameinthenewhome.

Onthetopoftherice,theycarrytothestagetwogoldpendantsplacedonabetelleaf.Thegoldpendants(mangalyam)aretiedtogetherwithturmericladenmultilayeredthreadstoformtheMangalaSutramu.TheMangalaSutramuistiedaroundthebridesneckduringtheweddingandretainedforlife.Itisthemostauspicioussymbolofmarriageandthependantsarekeptclosetoheart.Eachgoldpendantisofaspecificweightandshape.Itisinitiallytakenaroundtobeblessedbytheeldersinthefamily.

PrayertotheMangalaSutra

ThebrideandthegroomthenperformpoojatotheGoldpendantstoinvokesanctityintothependants.Thepriestrecitesthefollowing,addressedtoGod:

Mayyou,goddessLakshmiofthismangalya,bepleasedwithourpooja,MayyourrealmbeasfirmasthatofVaruna,thegreatpriestBruhaspati,Indra,andAgni.

Thepriestalsoaddressestheaudiencewhoarewitnessestotheevent:

Mayallthegreatassembleheregrantthismomenttobeespeciallyauspicious.

Thepriestthenturnstothebride,saying:

Mayyourhusbandlivelong.

Andthenaddressesthebrideandgroom:

Mayyoubothlivelongandmayyourlifebefilledwithhealth,wealthandbeplentiful.May

yourlifeashouseholdersprosperwell.

MangalasutraDharana(TyingoftheMangalsutrawiththreeknots)

Whilesanskritversesarebeingrecited,thegroomstands,andtiesthetwostringsseparatelyaroundthebridesneckwiththreeknots.Eachknotsignifiesalevelofmaritalcommitment,manasa(inheart),vacha(inword)andkarmana(indeed).Bytyingthenecklace,thegroomisofferingsafety,security,andcommitmenttothebride.

Duringthiseventthegroomrecites:

Mangalyatantunanenamamajeevanahetunaa:kanthebadhnamiSubhagesaajeevasaradamsatam

Omaiden,Itiethissacredthread,essentialformylonglife,aroundyourneck.Havingmanyauspiciousattributes,mayyoulivehappilywithmeforahundredyears

MangalaSutraAkshata

Havingtiedthemangalasutra,thecouplenowexchangegarlands.Thosepresentattheweddingshowertheirblessingsonthecouplebysprinklingflowersandturmericcolouredrice(Akshata)onthem.

Yoktrabandhana

ThegroomtiesaropeofresponsibilityaroundthewaistofthebridewhileprayingAgni(theFiregod)togiveherallthestrengthnecessarytoshouldertheresponsibilitiesofafamilylife.

Talambaraalu

Thebrideandgroomshoweroneanotherwithtalambaraalu,ricemixedwithsaffron&turmeric,broughtontothestageearlier.Thissignifiesthecouplesdesireforhappiness,enjoymentandcontentment.Initiallytheytaketurnstoshowerthegrainsoneachotherwhilethepriestrecites:

Letpeaceflourishinyourlife,contentmentflourish,lettherebeno

obstaclesinlife,mayyougivedonationstotheneed,protectthecows,performmanygooddeedsandmaytheplanets

favoryourmarriedlife

Astheeventprogresses,therecitationstates:

Maytherebeabundanceofdairyandgrains,toperformdonationsandsacrifices.Theywisheachothertoliveinabundanceofgrains,essentialforanancientagrarian

community.

BrahmaMudiandRakshabandhana

TyingMadhuparkamthebrideandgroomtogetheriscalledBrahmamudi.Thepriestwilltieaknotbetweentheuppergarmentsofthegroomandthebrideforthenextsetofevents.Thegroomtiesasacredthreadaroundthewristofbrideandforherprotectionfromevil.Hedeclaresinfrontofthefirethat:Pooshatwetovayatu..maavadasiYoumaycometomyhouseonachariotofAshwinidietiestobecomethemasterofmyhouseandtakecontrolofthehousehold.ThisisdonebeforepradhanaHomam.

RitualsBeforeaSacredFire

PradhanaHomam

ThefireceremonyisthemostessentialpartoftheHinduandVedicweddingandalsobylawthemarriageisnotcompleteunlessthisritualiscompleted.ThegroomthenleadsthebridetowardsHomam(Altar,hearthorfirepitforexclusiveuseofritualisticofferingsorsacrifice).

SinceAgni(thefireDiety)iscommontohumansandcelestials,heisrespectfullyrequestedtotaketheofferingmadethroughhimtobedeliveredtotheintendedcelestialdeity.AllthegreatHinduepicsstatethatAgniisamessengerandmediatorbetweenGodandhuman.ItisbelievedthatanyofferingsmadethroughAgniisconsumedhereonearthandreachestheintendeddeity.

Theholyfire,agreatprotectionagainstevil.Thisfireactsasaneternalwitnesstomarriage

Themeaningoftheversesrecitedwhileofferingthesacrificesare:

Om,PraisebetoAgni,thedomesticpriest,ministerofritualandinvokerofimmensewealth,pleasebringAditi,Anumati,Saraswatiandthesunaswitness

Ishallperformthesacrificialrites,sothatImayreceivethestatusofthehouseholderandmakethisbrideasmywife.

Ocelestials,thiswomanisleavingherownbehindandisfollowingmetojoinmyfamily.Iamperformingtheseoblations,requestingyoutograntherstableandprosperouslife,virtuouschildren,andalifewithoutsorrow.

PaniGrihanam

Thebridegroomstandsfacingthebrideenclosesallofherrighthandwithhisrighthand,withAgniaswitness,andsays:

Obride,thecelestialshavegivenyoutomeandblessedmetobecomeyourhusband.Iam

holdingyourhandsothatyouwillhaveseveralgoodchildrenandlivehappilywithmetillripeoldage.

HeyGoddessofwealthLakshmi,youblessuswithalltheluck,richesandfoodandsowewhohaveheldourhandstoday,hopetogetrichesandpleasuresbyyourblessings.Iannouncethisloudlyinfrontofallsothatyouwilldefinitelyblessme.

OSaraswati,graciousone,youwhomwehymnfirstofalltheGods,mayyouprosperthismarriage.Heymaiden,LetVayuwhohasthe

capacitytotravelinalldirections,whokeepsagoldcoininhishandtogivetothosewhoprayhimandwhoisthefriendofAgniwhohasthe

capacitytopurifyeverythingaswellasthecapacitytomakerawfoodedible,enteryourmindandmakeyoulovemeforeveryminuteofour

futurelives.

PradhanaHomam:TheCircumambulationaroundtheHolyFire

Holdingeachothershandwithfireasaneternalwitnesstomarriage,thebrideandgroompledgeanddeclaretoallthosepresentthattheyhaveacceptedoneanothervoluntarily.

Thebridegroomholdsthebridebythehandandbothwalkthreetimesaroundthenuptialfire.BothofferoblationsandreciteappropriateVedichymnstoGodsforprosperity,goodfortune,andconjugalfidelity.Theytoucheachothersheartandprayforunionoftheirheartsandminds.

Saptapadi

Thisisthemostimportantpartoftheceremonythatconfirmsandsanctifiesthemarriage.Onlyafterthisritual,thebrideandthegroomareacceptedasmarriedreligiouslysociallyandlegally.

Holdingeachothershands,tiedtogetherwithuppercloth,thecoupletakessevensteps.WitheachstepaverseisrecitedandLordVishnusblessingsaresought.Sevenlittleheapsofriceisarrangedinaline.Thegroomslipsasilvertoeringonthesecondtoeofthebride.

WithLordVishnutheprotectoroftheuniverseasourguide,letustake,

Firststepforthesakeofplentyoffoodtonourisheachother

Secondstepforthesakeofstrength

ThirdstepfortheabilitytoperformYajnasandausterities

Fourthstepforthesakeofloveandconjugalhappiness

Fifthstepforthegrowthofourcattleandwealth

Sixthsteptosurviveandenjoythefruitsofallseasons

Seventhsteptoperformvedicsacrificesandtobesacredlyilluminated.

Aftertheseventhstephemakesherremainwheresheisandsays:Withsevenstepswebecomefriends.Letmereachyourfriendship.Letmenotbeseveredfromyourfriendship.Letyourfriendshipnotbeseveredfromme.TheSaptapadiceremonyconcludeswithaprayerthattheunionisindissoluble.Attheendofthisceremony,thebridegroomandbridebecomehusbandandwife.AccordingtoIndianCivilLaw,this,thetakingofthe7thstepsignifiesthedefiningmomentofaHindumarriage.

Finallythegroomdeclaresthatwiththese7stepsmayyoubecomemyfriend,letmedeserveyourfriendship,letnotpartwithyourfriendship,letyounotpartfrommyfriendship.Letusliveasloving,vigoroushappycoupleenjoyingeachotherscompany,listeningtoeachotherforahundredyears.

LajaHomam

LajaHomamisthefirstritualsacrificeperformedbythecoupleashusbandandwife.ThisisanofferingoffoodtothecelestialsthroughtheAgnifortheirblessingsforalongmarriedlife.Thebrotherofthebrideprovidestheparchedricefortheofferings.WiththefirstofferingtoAgni,thewifesaystohusbandThisgrainIspillMayitbringtomewellbeinganduniteyoutome.MayAgnihearus.Theyalsoseekprosperitytotheirrelatives.Aftereachofferingthecoupleperformscircumambulationofthefire.

AsmarohanaorSilarohana

Attheendofeachcircumambulation,thebridewillbeaskedtosteponagrindstonecalledsannikallu.Thehusbandholdsrighttoesofhiswifeandplacesthemflatonthestonewhilereciting

Atistemamasmanamasmevathvaggsthirabhavaha

Abithishtapruthanyathassahasvaprutanayathaha

Meaning:Mountupthisstone.Letthymindberockfirm,unperturbed,bythetrialsandtribulationsoflifeandwhenitisfinished,thegroomadornsthebridestoeswithmattelu,silverrings.Thisistosignifythatanyhardshipsthecouplemightencountercanbedealtwithpatience.

TheyrequestAgnitograduallyreduceherattachmenttoherparentshomeandtoincreaseattractiontohusbandshouse.

PravesaHomam,ArundhatiandDhruvaDarshan

ThisHomamisanextremelyancientritualthatwasperformedwhenmarriageswereperformedbetweenamanandwomenhailingfromthesamevillageortownandhencenotapplicable.Intheeveningwhenthestarsappearinthesky,thepriestshowsthecouplethe

constellationofUrsaMajorandtheArundhatistar(Alcor),astarthatisincloseproximitytoVasista(Mizar).Arundhati,theidealwifeofvasisthamaharshi(thegreatsaint),isexemplifiedasamostvirtuouswomanandanembodimentofchastity.TheeventistoinformthebrideofmaritalvirtueofArundhatiandtoseekherblessings.

ThetwofrontstarsoftheconstellationpointtotheDhruvaStar(Polaris),thebrighteststarintheUrsaminor.Sincethisstarisstationary,thecouplelookatthestarasasymbolofstability.

Sthaalipaakam

ThebrideboilsaverysmallquantityofriceandoffersittoAgni,thefiregodritualistically.ThericemadeforthefirsttimebythebrideasahousewifeisofferedsymbolicallytoAgni.

SadasyamandPhalpradhanam

Towardstheendofthewedding,thepriestsperformVedicchantstobringpositiveinfluenceforalonglastingmarriage.Followingthechants,thescholarsandtheeldersarehonoredwithgiftsbythecoupleandseektheirblessings.

Seshahomam

Thisisthelasteventinfrontoffire.Duringthisevent,thewiferecognizesthatherhusbandasaprincipledandlearnedmanfromhissincerevowsanddeeds.Sheperformsprayersforprogeny.

DampatiTamboolalu

Elderlymarriedwomenwithprolongedmarriedlifearehonoredwithgiftstoseektheirblessings.

Nakabali

Asmallpartofthestageisdecoratedwithcolorfulpowders.Fourdecoratedpotsandfourlitoillampsareplacedstrategicallyonallthesides.PrayersareperformedforthecelestialLordIndra.

Asilkclothcradlewasmadeandasandalwooddollisplaced,sometimeswitharipemango/bananaandturmericwasplacedinittoprayforanoffspringashealthyastheripemango,aspureastheturmericandasselffragrantasthesandalwood.Thesisterofthegroomapproachesthebrideandasksherfornephew/niceoradairycow.Thebriderepliesthatshewouldgiveboth.Thisritualisaprayerforhealthychildren,andtocreateinterestofmotherhoodinthebride.

Thegroomthenslipssilvertoeringsonthebridesfeet.Hetiesanecklacewithblackbeadsandgold.

Sachipooja

PrayersarethenofferedtothewifeofcelestialLordIndra.Whilerecitingtheprayers,agoldringisdroppedintoalargevesselfilledwithwater.Thebrideandthegroomcompetewitheachothertoquicklypulltheringfromthevessel.Thisisdone3times.Itisabeliefthatthespousethatcollectsthering2outof3timeswilldominatethemarriedlife.

Thenthedarbhagirdle(Yoktra)placedaroundthebirdeisremoved.Thegroomrecitesthefollowingprayersandthenuntiesthedharbhastringhehastiedearlier:

IfreefromtheropetiedbyLordParameshwarawhotiesthisropeofVarunaforallthegoodmindedbeings,Igiveyouthepositionofpleasurewithmetoyouintheworldof

Brahma.

IfreeyouformthestringofVarunatiedbytheLordParameshwarawhogivesblessingstohisdevotees.YoucanlivewithmeinBrahmalokawheretheblessedgoandbewithme

withoutthefearoftheropeofVaruna.

Appagintalu

Thisisthefinaleventonthestage.Thebridewillberitualisticallybedeclaredaspartofthegroomsfamily.Thefatherandthemotherofthebridejoinsthehandsofthebrideindividuallytothegroom,hisparentsandsister.Herecites,IhavenurturedthischildtillthisageandIamhandingherovertoyourfamilyfortheprosperityandprogenyofherhusband.Dearparentsandsisterofthegroom,fromnowonconsiderherasyourowndaughterandbeaguideandphilosopher.

Thisisanextremelyemotionaleventforthebridesfamily,sincethedaughtertheyraisedsofarisleavingthehouseandtheseparationisfinal.

PostWeddingRituals

Vididigrihapravesam

Thebrideandthegroomwillbewelcomedtothegroomshouseorroomasanewlymarriedcouple.

Grihapravesh

Themarriageceremonyover,thebrideistakentothegroomshomeforGrihaPravesh(enteringthehouseforthefirsttime).Whentheyreachhishouse,hesays:Enterwithyourrightfoot.Donotremainoutside.Thebrideentersthehomeplacingtherightfootconsideredauspicious,first.Whenthebrideandthegroomenterthegroomshouse,themotherofthegroomwelcomesthebridebydoinganAarati.Thecoupleretireintotheirownrooms.

SatyanarayanaPoojaandVenkateswaraDeeparadhana

Thecoupleperformtheirfirstpoojaintheirownhome.Thisdoneonthefirstorseconddayafterarrivalofthebridetohernewhome.

UnitingtheMangalasutra

Thetwomangalsutrasareunitedonacommonthreadandareattachedtoagoldchain16daysafterthewedding.Aneldermemberofthefamilyorthehusbandhimselfcanunitethetwomangalsutrasonacommonthread.Afewblackorgoldenbeadsareslippedbetweenthetwoplatessothattheydontclashwitheachother,signifyingharmonybetweenthetwofamilies.Thebridetakesabathandwearsanewsaribeforewearingthemangalsutraonthisday.Thenumber16isaveryauspiciousnumberamongHindus.Also,16daysaresymbolicofthetimeneededbythebridetounderstandherhusbandsfamily.