The Crucible Evaluationand

Good Night, and Good Luckassignment

Writing comments, improvementsand suggestions

Read and follow instructions!• Some students did not write in

complete sentences as required

• Some students responded to only part of a prompt (especially 8b, 8c, and 9 on Crucible test and 3 on Good Night, and Good Luck assignment)

• Some wrote about literature in the past tense or used first or second person inappropriately

Disappointments• Students did not title their essays

• Many students did not have a thesis statement for their essays.

• Some students had very weak thesis statements.

General Writing Requirements for Miller’s English IIIA

• this is an advanced English class; work should be presented using correct grammar and solid writing skills

• essays and paragraphs should be titled

• write in third person (never use second unless in quotation; first is allowable only when noted)

• a paragraph needs a topic sentence; an essay needs a thesis statement

General Writing Requirements for Miller’s English IIIA continued

• discuss literature in the present tense

• when responding to a prompt regarding literature with a paragraph or essay, always introduce the author (full name) and title—later the author may be referred to by his last name

• titles of major works (like The Crucible) are italicized or underlined (in-class writing); minor works are placed in quotations

• avoid absolutes—always, never, etcetera

General Writing Requirements for Miller’s English IIIA continued

• do not write “I believe,” “I think,” “I feel,” etcetera—if a writer is sharing someone else’s ideas, parenthetical citation will give credit; otherwise all statements are considered the author’s

• dictionary and thesaurus were offered—spell correctly—if time is limited and spelling is questionable, write sp above the word to clarify that the word would have been looked up if time permitted

General Writing Requirements for Miller’s English IIIA

• what is written in English class (with very few exceptions) is formal—avoid contractions, symbols, and abbreviations

• write legibly—it’s wrong if Ms. Miller can’t make it out

• avoid careless errors—the title of the play should be spelled correctly—it’s on the test; ditto for characters’ names; do not call a play a novel, etcetera

Easy Grammatical Fixes• NEVER place a single comma

between a subject and its verb

• NEVER place a colon immediately after a be verb

Many rules of English grammar have exceptions: these do not—memorize them

Question 7Is The Crucible chiefly concerned with

religion, morality, history, or justice? Select one and defend the selection with two-to-four sentences of logical support.

Question 7 - Student ResponseThis student receive 5/5 for the response.

The main concern of The Crucible is morality and the irony of what some people believe to be good morals. This is illustrated in the fact that people with the best morals are the ones that die for it because they refuse to lie after being accused. Also, the people who mistakenly have bad morals, such as the court, are the ones who condemn those with good morals.

Question 7 – Student ResponseWhat is good?

• Follows instructions

• Provides thoughtful and logical commentary

What could be improved?

• pronoun issues – “that” should be who and “it” refers to a singular antecedent

• fewer be verbs; more action verbs

The Paragraphs

The instructions: select one of the following and discuss in a well-developed (approximately seven-to-twelve sentences), MLA formatted, third person, present tense paragraph.

The Paragraphs

A prompt

Identify and discuss a major irony in the play.

Student Example

In Arthur Miller’s the Crucible, there are several examples of irony throughout the novel. Back in the late seventeenth century, people were very superstitious and the littlest thing out of the ordinary would raise confusion. Salem goes into ruins because no one is there to take care of anything. While trying to save Salem from witches, they ultimately lead to the ruin of their village. (continued next slide)

Student Example continuedWith liveston running amuck, rotting crops lay in the fields, and children left uncared for, Salem was left in a shadow of its former self. What they did to Salem was worse than what they were trying to protect it from.

What is good about this response?

What about this response needs improvement?

Student Example Positives

Some knowledge of history and play is demonstrated

Introduces title and author’s full name

Discusses an irony (although it is never labeled as such)

Student Example NegativesDiscusses literature in the past tense

Some questionable word choice

Comma splice

Run-on sentence

“there” statement

Ends paragraph with a preposition

Calls play a novel

Salem exists today, so the witch trials did not cause its ruin

Lack of clarity (“liveston”)?

Student ExampleOne major irony in The Crucible reflects on Puritan values. A citizen may be openly accused of witchcraft with little or no proof. The courts have been created in such a way that somebody accused of witchcraft is nearly automatically sentenced to death. Escaping this fate is only possible by confessing to the crime, whether or not the “perpetrator” is guilty.

(continued on next slide)

Student Example continuedThis means, for an innocent person, they must confess to being a witch/warlock to live. One would think the Puritans would wish to persecute confessed dealers with Satan, not free them! This ironic, religious value defines a crisis in The Crucible.

What is good here?

What here needs improvement?

Student Examples Positiveresponds to prompt (discusses an

irony)

follows instructions (7-12 sentences, present tense, third person)

seems knowledgeable about play and time period (Puritan community)

understands irony

clear and confident voice

Student Example Negativesno introduction of author

pronoun/antecedent agreement error

uses “one” to avoid first/second person

comma issues

occasional awkward wording

Underlining?

The ParagraphsSame instructions: select one of the

following and discuss in a well-developed (approximately seven-to-twelve sentences), MLA formatted, third person, present tense paragraph.

The Second Prompt

Consider the deleted scene, Act 2, Scene 2. Discuss how the scene might have changed the play and why Miller might have decided to remove it.

Student ExampleIn Aurthor Miller’s The Crucible, the deleted scene, Act 2, Scene 2, is open to interpretation. One reason it may have been taken out is the difference in the characters’ emotions. John Proctor is seen as almost a “bad guy” because his relationship with Abby is more developed here and it shows that

(continued on next slide)

Student Example Continued John still is leading her on a little and showing the relationship still exists. In the rest of the play, Proctor looks like he totally regrets the relationship and treats Abby hatefully, contrasting to this scene. Continually, Miller may have decided that he didn’t want the reader to feel sympithetic to Abby because of (continued on next slide)

Student Example ContinuedProctor’s treatment of her. Miller may have wanted Abby to look justified in her constant struggle to win Proctor over. Finally, it is possible that Miller simply didn’t like the flow of the play with Act 2, Scene 2, included a decided to take it out. Miller’s reasoning to vague & unknown, but the play runs just smoothly without the scene as with.

Consideration

What is good here?

What here needs improvement?

Student Example PositivesIntroduces play and author (although

spelled incorrectly)

Uses present tense

Utilizes third person

Title set off appropriately

Student Example NegativesAwkward word choice at times

spelling

Misreading of play suggested (Proctor does not treat Abby hatefully in Act 1)

Support needed (example: how might the deleted scene make Abby look justified or the audience gain sympathy

Proof reading—too many errors/concerns, even for an in-class write

Sentence structure

Student ExampleIn the play The Crucible, Arthoir [spelling unclear on student copy] Miller origianally had a scene in Act 2 in which Proctor confronts Abigail on everything she is doing, but Miller later excluded that scene from the play. If Miller had kept the scene in the play, the viewers would see a different side of Abigail and may have a different perspective on her than without the scene. (continued on next slide)

Student Example ContinuedIn the scene, it becomes more and more obvious that there is something wrong with Abigail. She goes off on rants about people in Salem and how they are all hypocrites, and she still believes that John Proctor wants his wife dead so he can be with Abigail, even though he tries to tell her forcefully that he loves his wife and doesn’t want Abigail. It becomes clear that Abigail has

(continued on next slide)

Student Example ContinuedSomething wrong with her through the stage notes when it says Proctor begins to see her madness. This scene softens Abigail’s character because it shows she’s crazy, and viewers may feel sympathy toward her. The sympathy for her is not wanted because she is the main antagonist in the play. Miller might not want that feeling toward her because it would soften the whole take of the play.

Student Example

What here is good?

What here needs improvement?

Student Example PositivesIntroduces title and author (possible

spelling error)

Seems thoughtful

Minimal grammatical errors

Knowledge of play and characters demonstrated

Responds to prompt

Shows knowledge of literary devices

Student Example NegativesSpelling

Word choice (more variety needed)

Sentence structure occasionally awkward

“there” statement

Seems redundant at times

Fails to set off title appropriately

Student Example—EssayThis student example has a number of problems; however, it received a score in the A range. In-class essays are graded as drafts, and for this write, ideas and content and organization weighed more heavily.

The InstructionsRespond with a well-developed essay (multiple paragraphs) presented in MLA format using third person. Literature should be discussed in the present tense; however, history is discussed in the past tense; therefore, this paper may shift between past and present. Ideas and content and organization will be weighed most heavily in the evaluation of this essay, but the other traits are also important. Students may utilize one page of notes (student-created not Internet generated) and must turn their notes in with their completed essays.

The PromptThe Salem Witch Trials and McCarthyism are historical episodes associated with fear-based behaviors. Identify a current or recent (1980 or later) situation connected with fear-based behavior. Compare and contrast the contemporary situation to the Salem Witch Trials and/or McCarthyism and explore how “witch hunts” may be avoided. Consider how individuals might assure they do not fall victim to or lead fear-based behaviors and mob mentality.

EssayFear-based behavior is infectious,

crawling from one mind to the next until a full-blown epidemic sweeps away all rational thought. This panic leads to a mob mentality that not only dictated the actions of long ago, but even more recent events, such as the recent economical troubles.

Initially, the Salem witch trials sound like they have nothing in common with the near failure of many of America’s banks. While the situation in Salem had been life-or-death (continued on next slide)

The Essay continuedbased on mere hear-say, the banks themselves had dug themselves into their hole with a severe lack of foresights when it came to lending loans. When the layers are peeled back, though, both reactions, to each situation are not as dissimilar as believed. The little village of Salem was desparate for a solution when they discovered “witches” were responsible for their troubles. In their frenzy, they executed and accused left-and right to eradicate their problem. Flash (continued on next slide)

The Essay continuedforward to the end of 2008. America’s banks were suddenly drowning in unpaid foreclosures, and threatened to drag America’s economy down with it. Politicians had little time to react and even less time to assess the situation. The people were convinced that the economical equivalent of an apocalypse was bearing down, and no one took the time to think otherwise. So, they haphazardly slapped together a solution (TARP—the Troubled (continued on next slide)

The Essay continuedAssist Relief Program), much like Salem and its witch trials, and sent it out the door. In both situations, it backfired terribly. Salem ended up killing innocent Christians while TARP money intended in revitalizing the economy did not have much of a noticeable impact on the economy. Indeed, while prohibited from being used as excessive bonus money, it instead went to stocks that men used in place of bonuses.

This mob mentality is dangerous, but (continued on next slide)

The Essay continuedcan it be avoided? If people took time to sit back and assess the situation, then most problems could be avoided. Before forming an opinion, both sides of the argument should be taken it to avoid jumping to potentially fatal conclusions. People shouldn’t be swayed by others opinions in the heart of the moment, and when telling others about the situation, it should be presented as more of a suggestion and not hard facts. These tips can keep minor blow outs from escalading into madness.

Student EssayWhat is good about the response?

• Responds to entire prompt (historical and contemporary examples with suggestions for avoiding future incidents)

• Some excellent word choice

• Thoughtful

• Demonstrates knowledge of historic event and contemporary situation

• Follows instructions: multiple paragraphs, third person

• Basically well organized

Student EssayWhat might be improved?

Title

Spelling

Some word choice

Better developed introduction or inclusion of introduction in first body paragraph

No contractions

Correct numerous minor errors and proof

Correctly identify TARP

Conclusion which ties in early part of essay

Possessives v. PluralsA possessive shows ownership while a plural

shows number (multiple).

Student example: “The filmmaker’s of Good Night and Good Luck try to shed some light on the rarely talked about Red Scare of the 50’s.”

What is wrong? Correction?

Possessive v. PluralsStudent example: “The filmmakers

purpose is to show that fear can lead to injustice or irrational thinking.”

Error? Correction?

MisplacementStudent example: “Old broadcasting

technology sends the movie back in time, along with the costumes.”

Problem? Solution?

Three be verbs in one sentence!Student example: “This scene is

specifically memorable because it is when he is denied the opportunity for a few shows pertaining to Mcarthy.”

Improvement? Other error?

Pronoun/Antecedent AgreementStudent example: “If a communist was

found, they would be demonized by the government and public.”

Error? Correction?

Pronoun/Antecedent AgreementStudent example: “The filmmaker

achieved their purpose to inform and educate as well as entertain its audience.”

Error? Correction? Other?

Run-on SentencesStudent example: “Overall, fear based

behavior will always be around, it will just keep evolving and becoming less dramatic.”

Error? Correction? Other?

Thesis StatementsMany essays did not even have thesis

statements. Those that contained thesis statements often presented weak ones.

Sample thesis: Thoughtful consideration and trust in self allows avoidance of fear-based behaviors seen during the Salem Witch Trials and in President Obama’s first address to school children in 2009.