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Sometimes, I just look at the stars at night. I gaze at the fading fall colors of leaves that fall gen-
tly, slowly to the ground. I look at the crowds of people, always running in one direction, cars
speeding away, growing miniscule in the distance, lose myself in the bustle of life and exchange
of so many words with no meaning.
Wonder why I just dont get it all.
I wish I could be an astronaut in space, just so I could fly above the chaos of this broken world,
to see the majesty of creation, displayed before my naked eyes.
Maybe then, I would get it.
I feel that my current spiritual apa-
thy is because I just dont see God.
Ive diminished him to some idea in
my mind, some idea that is non-
threatening, something controlla-
ble, something that can fit in my
But Gods a lion, and he cant be
I believe that being able to see God
without any bias, without any pre-
conceptions, just as He is, is the key
to loving Him for who He is, what
Hes done. On that day, Ill be so overcome by fear, by love, by awe, Ill be speechless.
Once my eyes are open, my heart can be too.
I want to love like God meant me to.
From the Editors
- Kelly Yu
From the Editors
- Melody Zhang
Passage Focus: James 4:13-15
These verses encapsulate the selfishness of human life. It fits the modern way of thinking even
in many Christians. We plan and plan out our futures like we are the makers of our own destiny, the
creators of our future. Most of the time when I think of what to do, I don't take what God wants into
consideration, instead acting like I have control over my life when really I am nothing "but a mist that
appears for a little and then vanishes" on earth.
In truth, God should and must be the one in
control; whatever he wills and whatever he
throws onto my path is for my good and I
shouldn't choose to ignore it just because it's
difficult or it wasn't what I had expected out of
my day. I have learned not just through these
verses that to expect is to be disappointed; in-
stead to expect nothing and give everything just
as Jesus did for me.
It is terrifyingly difficult to live through God's
eyes, because it means I am surrendering my
business, my plans, my future. How selfish I am
in that most of the time I want to ignore the ob-
stacles He throws at me or passively resist the
people I struggle with in my life. I cannot live as
if I am the maker of my own future, because I
am not. God gives me challenges that I do not
expect and I must learn to accept them as part
of who he wants to make me into and do my
best to face them. After all, He does not give us
anything that we cannot handle.
Now listen, you who say, Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a
year there, carry on business and make money. Why, you do not even know what will
happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and
then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, If it is the Lords will, we will live and do this
From the Editors
So let me tell you about two indirectly related but equally important things. Important being
entirely subjective, I suppose. (But dont stop reading here because this article looks long and
boring! I have something super to share!!) So heres what happened: one random day in late
September/early October I found one of many college brochures on my desk my mom just puts
there for me to look through. More often than not I just throw them out. But that particular after-
noon, I didnt have a lot of homework, and something about the brochure (probably because it was
purple I like purple) made me flip through it. And thinking back upon it, I think God had planned for
that moment all along. Crown College is a tiny Christian college located in St. Bonifacius, which is
kind of in the middle of nowhere. I couldnt even find it on the Minnesota map! Anyway I applied
just because I wanted to be a good student by applying to 3-5 schools (it being my fifth school yeah
Im an overachiever!! Hahaha not really), and not even considering it as a place I would want to go
for college. Guess what happened a month later! I am now seriously considering going to Crown. It
was pretty crazy how I ended up being able to visit the campus just last week. Its a 13 hour drive
from Troy so that was definitely not an option, but I
was not so easily discouraged. After a long call with
the airlines and a talk with my parents, I was all set to
fly to Crown by myself. (For the record, I hate planes.)
The entire trip went smoothly though. I had to miss
school Friday and so I had to make up my two part
calc test and two day bio lab on Thursday. I was able
to book a flight back to Michigan early enough to
make it directly to my cross country banquet Satur-
day. Crown sent one of their students to pick me up
from, and take me back, to the airport. All these little
details (and what I originally thought of as conflicts)
God had already worked out for me, and I didnt have
to worry once. I didnt even barf on the planeI slept
the entire two hours there and back!
So thats the first thing. I wont bore you with the details of what I experienced, liked, and
disliked (if youre curious you can ask me and Ill tell you!), but I will stress this: God works in crazy
ways. He loves us like crazy, and really, all we have to do is trust Him even if following Christ seems
like a crazy thing sometimes. So here I am now pretty conflicted on what my future holds for me.
How do we know if God is calling us to someone, something, or somewhere? Part of me just wants
to stay close to home for college, but if God is leading me elsewhere, then I am going to follow.
- Sharon Shen
Never has the verse
If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me
meant more to me. But heres the (second) thing: the other day at dinner my sister and I were just
joking about going out of state for college lalalala and my mom was like no I dont want you to go
to Crown because youll be so far away and my sister and I just laughed but honestly she looked like
she was about to cry. And I say it like its not that big of a deal now but it made me want to cry, too.
In all my seventeen years its sad for me to admit that I have not had a good relationship with my
parents. I keep to myself, and Ive always liked it that way. But the reality is I could be far from home
and the comfort of having my family and friends always there to support me next year if I end up at
Crown. And I cant speak for everyone but at times I wonder if thats a scenario that many high
schoolers are in. It sucks. In seven months I will graduate from high school. In nine months I will be
off to college. Time flies; it really does. I was always envious of the people who were close to their
parents, or at least one of their parents. I think out of everyone Ive taken my family for granted the
most. Maybe because our family is supposed to love us no matter what but it left me feeling kind of
hollow after my mom almost cried about me leaving. Because in the end, shes still going to support
me going to Crown.
Even though it hurts her, shell let me go. I think sometimes as teens we just think that our parents
are annoying and dont give us any privacy. I remember thinking when my mom happened to read
one of my Vine articles two years ago and I didnt like that she did. I didnt like her getting all into
my life but hey at least I realize late better than never that parents really do the things they do out
of pure love for us. And how much more so does God do that for each and every one of us, no mat-
ter how many times weve run away, no matter how many times weve failed or doubted. Its kind of
really overwhelming and I hope that maybe my mom will read this article because I dont know how
to be a good daughter, but I think Im finally running home.
If anyone would come after me, he must deny him-
self and take up his cross daily and follow me.
I feel that I should start with a proper introduction or else Ill be a complete stranger to about
80% of all of you. My name is Veronica Tang and Im currently a junior at University of Michigan study-
ing Brain, Cognitive, and Neuroscience with a minor in Applied Statistics. If you want a gleeked-out
rant or discussion about the mind, just mention my major in front of
me. My little brother is Joe or that tall guy that is really into video
games. If you see him around later, make sure to give him a hug or
something. Hell absolutely love it. (Wait, ask first actually. I dont
want to be held accountable for harassment).
I was in Refresh in middle school and Oasis all of high school. While
I am one of the alumni of Oasis, its still weird to think of myself that
way. I used to consider this youth group as my second home (and I
still do, on a strange level of nostalgia), since there were so many
memories made in that second floor of the church. I remember
when Beth a