take out the following: -narrative planning sheet -rough draft
TRANSCRIPT
Take out the following:
-Narrative Planning Sheet
-Rough Draft
Revision makes the difference in our
writing!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hzgzim5m7oU
Revision makes the difference in our
writing!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hzgzim5m7oU
Revising your
Narrative…
Revision:
Think about each of the following:• Add another specific detail• Remove a phrase or sentence that does not belongAdd at least one
strong vocabulary word• Add another creative image Improve your introduction sentence• Add or improve the title• Check all spelling and grammar
Read your piece slowly to review what you wroteMark your changes in a
DIFFERENT COLOR
Read your piece slowly to review what you wroteMark your changes in a
DIFFERENT COLOR
Pens and Regular Pencils AWAY!
Pens and Regular Pencils AWAY!
Revision Example: Narrative Lead
Revision Checklist:Improve your introduction sentenceAdd another creative imageAdd another specific detailRemove a phrase or sentence that does not belongAdd at least one strong vocabulary wordAdd or improve the title
Revision Checklist:Improve your introduction sentenceAdd another creative imageAdd another specific detailRemove a phrase or sentence that does not belongAdd at least one strong vocabulary wordAdd or improve the title
Revision Example: Narrative Lead
Revision Checklist:Improve your introduction sentenceAdd another creative imageAdd another specific detailRemove a phrase or sentence that does not belongAdd at least one strong vocabulary wordAdd or improve the title
Revision Checklist:Improve your introduction sentenceAdd another creative imageAdd another specific detailRemove a phrase or sentence that does not belongAdd at least one strong vocabulary wordAdd or improve the title
Decked out in my cow costume, I said “Moooooo!”
Crisp, cool
My best friend, Jack and I
Dependable
My MomentA Spooky Night
Revision Example: Now you try it!Narrative Lead:
Learning to ride a bike is always scary. My dad was about 35 years old and was very
good at riding his bicycle. I was afraid I would get hurt. The day finally came where
dad would teach me how to ride a bike in our driveway.
Revision Checklist:Improve your introduction sentenceAdd another creative imageAdd another specific detailRemove a phrase or sentence that does not belongAdd at least one strong vocabulary wordAdd or improve the title
Revision Checklist:Improve your introduction sentenceAdd another creative imageAdd another specific detailRemove a phrase or sentence that does not belongAdd at least one strong vocabulary wordAdd or improve the title
Revision: On your own paper!
– Revision Checklist:– Improve your introduction sentence– Add another creative image– Add another specific detail– Remove a phrase or sentence that does not belong– Add at least one strong vocabulary word– Add or improve the title
– Revision Checklist:– Improve your introduction sentence– Add another creative image– Add another specific detail– Remove a phrase or sentence that does not belong– Add at least one strong vocabulary word– Add or improve the title
Use the checklist to revise your own paper. SHOW your revisions in
a DIFFERENT color!
Use the checklist to revise your own paper. SHOW your revisions in
a DIFFERENT color!
Your Name
Give two specific pieces of positive feedback.
Example: Your title sparked my interest.
Give two specific pieces of positive feedback.
Example: Your title sparked my interest.
Give two areas that need improvement.
Example: Add a stronger vocabulary word to replace “good”.
Give two areas that need improvement.
Example: Add a stronger vocabulary word to replace “good”.
Step one: Read your partner’s
paper.
Step two: Fill out the feedback form for your
partner.
Step one: Read your partner’s
paper.
Step two: Fill out the feedback form for your
partner.
““Snapshot” Snapshot” Moment Moment
Narrative:Narrative:
““Snapshot” Snapshot” Moment Moment
Narrative:Narrative:
Lead:Lead:- Set the Mood- Describe Setting- Characters and Relationship
Context:Context:- Important background information- What happened before this?
Narrative Body:Narrative Body:- Actions and Events- Descriptions and Figurative Language
Dialogue:Dialogue:- Follow all rules- Keep it simple! Choose dialogue carefully
Turn:Turn:- Highpoint of the action- Make the event stand out- Add drama to the moment
Closing:Closing:- Return to images in the lead- Extend the original images- Describe the lessons learned (Be subtle!)
Timeline:Timeline:
Today: Revisions and rough Today: Revisions and rough
draftdraft
Tomorrow: Start final draftTomorrow: Start final draft
Friday: Final draft due at the Friday: Final draft due at the
end of class. end of class.
Timeline:Timeline:
Today: Revisions and rough Today: Revisions and rough
draftdraft
Tomorrow: Start final draftTomorrow: Start final draft
Friday: Final draft due at the Friday: Final draft due at the
end of class. end of class.