Analysis  Of  “Stuck  In  Love”  Nicole  Laplante  

Introduc;on  •  The  film  “Stuck  In  Love”  is  a  story  of  the  complicated  rela;onships  that  members  of  the  Borgen  Family  weave  in  and  out  of.  

•  Bill  and  Erica  are  the  parents,  who  are  divorced.  Bill  is  s;ll  in  love  with  Erica  and  prays  that  she’ll  come  back.  

•  Samantha  and  Rusty  are  their  kids.    •  Samantha  starts  an  in;mate  rela;onship  with  Lou,  and  begins  to  disclose  personal  informa;on  that  she  never  has  before.  

•  Rusty  starts  an  in;mate  rela;onship  with  a  girl  in  his  class  named  Kate.  

•  Throughout  the  story,  nonverbal  cues,  turning  points,  support,  advice,  conflict,  and  various  communica;on  strategies  play  out.  

From  Chapter  5:  Nonverbal  Messages  •  A  number  of  nonverbal  messages  take  place  in  a  scene  where  Samantha  is  at  a  

bar.  •  First,  she  makes  eye  contact  with  a  man  across  the  room  and  he  smiles,  invi;ng  

her  to  come  talk  to  him.  •  On  her  way  over,  Lou  reaches  out  his  arm  to  stop  her.  He  then  warns  her  about  

the  guy  she’s  about  to  go  talk  to.  •  Samantha  rolls  her  eyes  while  saying  “Thanks  for  the  ;p,”  sugges;ng  that  she  

doesn’t  really  care  what  his  opinion  is.    •  Lou  then  introduces  himself  anyway,  making  the  gesture  of  holding  out  his  hand.  •  Samantha  doesn’t  take  it,  and  remains  standing  with  her  arms  crossed,  signaling  

that  she’s  not  at  all  interested  in  opening  up  and  star;ng  any  kind  of  rela;onship  with  Lou.  

From  Chapter  5:  Nonverbal  Messages  

•  Bill’s  friend  Tricia  understands  the  importance  of  physical  appearance  in  giving  off  a  good  first  impression.  

•  She  advises  Bill  to  change  his  profile  picture  on  a  da;ng  website  because  he  “looks  like  a  serial  killer”  and  women  will  pass  up  the  opportunity  to  get  to  know  him  just  aSer  a  quick  glance  at  the  picture.    

•  Bill  then  tries  on  ouUits  for  his  first  date.  •  He  puts  on  a  suit,  and  Tricia  tells  him  it’s  too  professional  

for  a  night  out.  People  modify  their  dress  according  to  different  situa;ons  to  give  off  different  messages.  Wearing  a  suit  at  a  party  or  bar  could  hurt  Bill’s  first  impression,  because  it  gives  off  the  message  “I’m  very  serious  and  don’t  know  how  to  let  loose  and  have  fun.”  

From  Chapter  6:  Communica;on  in  the  Life  Cycle  of  Rela;onships  

•  Turning  point-­‐  An  event  or  occurrence  that  marks  a  rela;onship’s  transi;on  from  one  stage  to  another.  

•  The  turning  point  in  Lou  and  Samantha’s  rela;onship  occurs  in  the  car  when  he  plays  her  his  favorite  song  and  she  starts  to  cry,  admiZng  she  has  feelings  for  him  but  is  scared  of  being  hurt.  

•  He  tells  her  not  to  worry,  and  from  that  point  on  the  two  are  a  couple  rather  than  just  friends.  

From  Chapter  8:  Star;ng  a  Conversa;on  

•  At  the  beginning  of  the  film,  Kate  starts  her  first  conversa;on  with  Rusty  by  saying  hi  in  the  hallway.  

•  Kate  then  makes  the  comment  that  she  really  liked  his  poem  he  read  in  class,  a  simple  approach  that  invites  the  other  person  to  respond.  

•  In  order  to  keep  the  conversa;on  going,  she  then  asks  the  open-­‐ended  ques;on  of  how  his  thanksgiving  was.  

•  The  conversa;on  comes  to  an  end  when  Kate’s  boyfriend  calls  her  over.  

•  She  makes  leave-­‐taking  cues  of  turning  around  and  looking  down  before  verbally  telling  Rusty  she  has  to  go.  

From  Chapter  9:  Suppor;ng  Others  •  Tricia  uses  some  of  the  recommenda;ons  for  giving  advice  in  Chapter  9.  

•  She  first  asks  Bill,  “Can  I  give  you  a  li]le  bit  of  advice?”  to  see  if  he  even  wants  any.  

•  She  tells  him  he  should  get  on  da;ng  sites  so  he  can  re-­‐marry  before  its  too  late.    

•  She  tells  him  he’s  a  great,  successful,  and  handsome  guy  in  order  to  persuade  him  and  not  come  off  as  mean  or  bossy.    

•  Finally,  she  tells  him  “just  to  think  about  it”  to  let  him  know  she  won’t  be  offended  if  he  doesn’t  take  her  advice.  

From  Chapter  10:  Communica;ng  Personal  Informa;on  

•  Samantha  and  Lou‘s  rela;onship  becomes  much  more  in;mate  aSer  he  discloses  the  informa;on  about  his  mom  having  a  brain  tumor.    

•  She  is  much  kinder  to  him  and  agrees  to  go  on  a  date  with  him.  •  Samantha  reciprocates  by  telling  Lou  about  her  parents  divorce  and  

why  she  has  a  poor  rela;onship  with  her  mother.  •  Sharing  their  personal  problems  with  each  other  makes  them  feel  

be]er,  increasing  in;macy  as  they  con;nue  to  hang  out.    

From  Chapter  10:  Communica;ng  Personal  Informa;on  

•  Samantha  does  not  disclose  personal  informa;on  to  many  people  in  the  beginning  of  the  movie  out  of  fear  of  geZng  hurt  and  her  distrust  of  most  people.  

•  She  believes  that  the  costs  of  sharing  such  informa;on  in  in;mate  rela;onships  outweigh  the  benefits  in  her  risk-­‐benefit  analysis.  

•  She  finally  discloses  informa;on  about  her  mom  with  Lou,  because  she  trusts  him  and  can  see  the  benefits  of  emo;onal  relief,  coping  with  stress,  and  making  the  rela;onship  stronger.    

From  Chapter  12:  Managing  Conflict  

•  Forgiveness-­‐  a  communica;on  process  that  allows  partners  to  overcome  the  damage  done  to  the  rela;onship  because  of  a  transgression.  

•  It  takes  Samantha  three  years  to  finally  forgive  her  mother  for  chea;ng  on  her  father,  aSer  her  father  confesses  that  he  actually  cheated  on  her  mother  first.  She  accepts  the  apology  her  mother  has  been  saying  for  years  by  showing  up  at  her  house  one  day.  

•  Bill  forgives  his  ex-­‐wife  for  chea;ng  on  him  much  faster  than  Samantha,  wishing  she’d  come  back  the  moment  she  leS.  She  finally  does  come  back  and  verbally  apologizes.  Bill  easily  accepts  the  apology  and  welcomes  her  into  the  home  for  a  Thanksgiving  meal.  

From  Chapter  13:  Communica;ng  in  In;mate  Rela;onships  

•  Kate  is  in  an  abusive  rela;onship  with  her  boyfriend.  

•  Kate’s  boyfriend  displays  a  high  level  of  possessiveness.    

•  He  grabs  her  when  she  tries  to  leave  the  party,  calls  her  names,  and  threatens  her  if  she  leaves.  

•  He  finally  pushes  her  to  the  ground  when  she’s  reached  the  door  and  is  about  to  leave.  

From  Chapter  13:  Communica;on  in  In;mate  Rela;onships  

•  The  Borgen  Family  is  a  Single-­‐parent  family,  with  son  Rusty  living  with  his  father  Bill  while  his  sister  Samantha  is  at  college.  

•  The  mother,  Erica,  lives  with  another  man  and  only  communicates  with  son  Rusty  for  the  most  part.  

•  One  guideline  for  improving  family  communica;on  is  to  respect  individual  interests  and  accomplishments.  Bill  is  very  suppor;ve  of  his  children,  encouraging  them  to  write  and  praising  their  stories.  However,  Rusty  shows  li]le  support  for  his  sister  when  she  announces  she  got  her  book  published,  weakening  the  overall  family  communica;on.  

•  Another  guideline  is  to  respect  and  adapt  to  change.  Bill  does  not  do  this  very  well,  as  he  is  s;ll  in  love  with  his  wife  who’s  leS  him  three  years  ago.  He  even  claims  that  she’ll  come  back.  This  creates  tension  in  the  family,  with  his  kids  desperately  trying  to  convince  him  to  move  on.  

Evalua;on  •  In  Samantha  and  Lou’s  rela;onship  at  the  beginning  of  

the  film,  I  found  that  my  communica;on  style  is  more  similar  to  Lou’s  than  Samantha’s.    

•  Lou  seeks  support  when  he’s  in  a  tough  situa;on,  while  Samantha  bo]les  up  her  emo;ons  and  doesn’t  trust  anyone  to  talk  about  them  with.  Lou  is  also  much  more  open  to  developing  new  rela;onships  than  Samantha  is.  

•  If  I  was  in  Samantha’s  posi;on  of  having  divorced  parents  at  such  a  young  age  perhaps  I  would  be  more  cynical  about  love.    

•  However,  I  think  I  would  s;ll  be  open  to  star;ng  new  rela;onships  and  have  a  li]le  more  trust  for  others  than  Samantha  does.  

•  I  really  enjoyed  this  film  and  thought  it  was  a  realis;c  portrayal  of  the  messy,  complicated  rela;onships  that  people  have.