striving for imprefection
DESCRIPTION
A presentation delivered to the Oregon Municipal Clerks Assciation by Scott "Q" Marcus to help people overcome confict, improve their attitude, and accomplish more. (Note: since it was originally a powerpoint presentation, some of the transitions do not show up well.)TRANSCRIPT
Striving for Imprefection
Scott “Q” Marcus, RPTHINspirational Speaker • www.scottqmarcus.com • 707.442.6243
Whereas I am a recovering prefectionist and therefore prone to unannounced bouts of extreme retentiveness, I (insert name) promise not to freak out if Scott’s presentation has typos, grammar errors, or uncentered graphics,
And,2
Perfectionist Resolution
3
Perfectionist Resolution
Whereas, I understand that the powerpoint presentation is a guideline, not the Gospel, and is thereby subject to change, modification, and adjustment,
And,
Whereas, I accept that my handout might not match the presentation exactly -- as Scott might have had the nerve to make changes in his presentation after he sent it to Molly Stevens.
4
Perfectionist Resolution
(Insert shocked gasp here.)
Therefore be it
5
Perfectionist Resolution
Resolved that at any time, if I cannot handle these conditions, I promise to breathe deeply, then raise my hand, and ask to come on stage and straighten something.
Be it further
6
Perfectionist Resolution
that in order to test myslef, I will now try to rEmaiN calm wihle reading this slide. without freaking
out about spellling errurs,
random colors: excessive use of fonts. and obvioius typos.
Resolved
Wisdom“If all pulled together, The world would keel over.”
-Old Yiddish Proverb7
RealismEven the best relationships
cause some pain…
8
“If we all pulled together, The world would keel over.”
-Old Yiddish Proverb
Reality9
You cannot avoid conflict.But you can - and will - cause some!
10
Movement
Logical Emotional
Physical Spiritual
<<<<Change
11
Attitude
Feelings Beliefs
12
Response
Feelings
Experience(Observations)
Biology
Attitude
‣ CALM
‣Expectations
‣Noise
‣Resolution
‣Follow Up
Conflict Cycle13
14
Persecutor (“It’s Always Your Fault!”)
Rescuer(“Let Me Fix It For You.”)
Victim (“It’s Not My Fault!”)
Drama!
Reasons
‣ Shoulds
‣ Disqualifying
‣ Inappropriate Rescue
‣ Perfectionism
‣ Boundary Violation
‣ Selective Viewing15
Assertion
Competition
Avoidance
Compromise
Accommodation
Collaboration
Uniting
Cooperation16
Security
Not Real
Too Complex
Unimportant
Win-Win
Freight Train RuleWhen A Freight Train is coming at you…Get out of the way!
17
18
Five Year Rule
Personalities
‣ firecracker‣ cold shoulder‣ backstabber
‣ memory lane‣ social zinger‣ last word
19
Questions20
Open
Closed
Inquiry
Confirmation
In the Details
What do I want?
What must happen?
Can I do that?
Will I?21
OPEN
CLO
SED
Guidance
•Recognize•Reflect•Redirect
22
The 3 Rs
23
Creative!
WOW
Fair Fighting
Begin with “I”No Interruptions
No DenialsNo Cross Complaints
24
Talk Time
‣ 10-20 Minutes‣ I want / I like‣ You want / You like‣ Agreement
The Four Assumptions
26
The road map is not the
terrain…
In other words…
We see our own view
of reality.
Growth
The Four Assumptions
27
There is positive
intention behind every
behavior.
Growth
The Four Assumptions
28
You always have
another choice.
Growth
The Four AssumptionsGrowth
There is no such thing
as “failure,”
merely “feedback.”
29
The Four Assumptions
30
You have all the tools
you need to accomplish
whatever you want.
Growth
Think “1st”31
Do 1 Thing
Make it Small
Focus on Today
Remember
Striving for Imprefection
Scott “Q” Marcus, RPTHINspirational Speaker • www.scottqmarcus.com • 707.442.6243