striving for imprefection

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Striving for Imprefection Scott “Q” Marcus, RP THINspirational Speaker • www.scottqmarcus.com • 707.442.6243

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A presentation delivered to the Oregon Municipal Clerks Assciation by Scott "Q" Marcus to help people overcome confict, improve their attitude, and accomplish more. (Note: since it was originally a powerpoint presentation, some of the transitions do not show up well.)

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Page 1: Striving for Imprefection

Striving for Imprefection

Scott “Q” Marcus, RPTHINspirational Speaker • www.scottqmarcus.com • 707.442.6243

Page 2: Striving for Imprefection

Whereas I am a recovering prefectionist and therefore prone to unannounced bouts of extreme retentiveness, I (insert name) promise not to freak out if Scott’s presentation has typos, grammar errors, or uncentered graphics,

And,2

Perfectionist Resolution

Page 3: Striving for Imprefection

3

Perfectionist Resolution

Whereas, I understand that the powerpoint presentation is a guideline, not the Gospel, and is thereby subject to change, modification, and adjustment,

And,

Page 4: Striving for Imprefection

Whereas, I accept that my handout might not match the presentation exactly -- as Scott might have had the nerve to make changes in his presentation after he sent it to Molly Stevens.

4

Perfectionist Resolution

(Insert shocked gasp here.)

Therefore be it

Page 5: Striving for Imprefection

5

Perfectionist Resolution

Resolved that at any time, if I cannot handle these conditions, I promise to breathe deeply, then raise my hand, and ask to come on stage and straighten something.

Be it further

Page 6: Striving for Imprefection

6

Perfectionist Resolution

that in order to test myslef, I will now try to rEmaiN calm wihle reading this slide. without freaking

out about spellling errurs,

random colors: excessive use of fonts. and obvioius typos.

Resolved

Page 7: Striving for Imprefection

Wisdom“If all pulled together, The world would keel over.”

-Old Yiddish Proverb7

Page 8: Striving for Imprefection

RealismEven the best relationships

cause some pain…

8

“If we all pulled together, The world would keel over.”

-Old Yiddish Proverb

Page 9: Striving for Imprefection

Reality9

You cannot avoid conflict.But you can - and will - cause some!

Page 10: Striving for Imprefection

10

Movement

Logical Emotional

Physical Spiritual

<<<<Change

Page 11: Striving for Imprefection

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Attitude

Feelings Beliefs

Page 12: Striving for Imprefection

12

Response

Feelings

Experience(Observations)

Biology

Attitude

Page 13: Striving for Imprefection

‣ CALM

‣Expectations

‣Noise

‣Resolution

‣Follow Up

Conflict Cycle13

Page 14: Striving for Imprefection

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Persecutor (“It’s Always Your Fault!”)

Rescuer(“Let Me Fix It For You.”)

Victim (“It’s Not My Fault!”)

Drama!

Page 15: Striving for Imprefection

Reasons

‣ Shoulds

‣ Disqualifying

‣ Inappropriate Rescue

‣ Perfectionism

‣ Boundary Violation

‣ Selective Viewing15

Page 16: Striving for Imprefection

Assertion

Competition

Avoidance

Compromise

Accommodation

Collaboration

Uniting

Cooperation16

Security

Not Real

Too Complex

Unimportant

Win-Win

Page 17: Striving for Imprefection

Freight Train RuleWhen A Freight Train is coming at you…Get out of the way!

17

Page 18: Striving for Imprefection

18

Five Year Rule

Page 19: Striving for Imprefection

Personalities

‣ firecracker‣ cold shoulder‣ backstabber

‣ memory lane‣ social zinger‣ last word

19

Page 20: Striving for Imprefection

Questions20

Open

Closed

Inquiry

Confirmation

Page 21: Striving for Imprefection

In the Details

What do I want?

What must happen?

Can I do that?

Will I?21

OPEN

CLO

SED

Page 22: Striving for Imprefection

Guidance

•Recognize•Reflect•Redirect

22

The 3 Rs

Page 23: Striving for Imprefection

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Creative!

WOW

Page 24: Striving for Imprefection

Fair Fighting

Begin with “I”No Interruptions

No DenialsNo Cross Complaints

24

Page 25: Striving for Imprefection

Talk Time

‣ 10-20 Minutes‣ I want / I like‣ You want / You like‣ Agreement

Page 26: Striving for Imprefection

The Four Assumptions

26

The road map is not the

terrain…

In other words…

We see our own view

of reality.

Growth

Page 27: Striving for Imprefection

The Four Assumptions

27

There is positive

intention behind every

behavior.

Growth

Page 28: Striving for Imprefection

The Four Assumptions

28

You always have

another choice.

Growth

Page 29: Striving for Imprefection

The Four AssumptionsGrowth

There is no such thing

as “failure,”

merely “feedback.”

29

Page 30: Striving for Imprefection

The Four Assumptions

30

You have all the tools

you need to accomplish

whatever you want.

Growth

Page 31: Striving for Imprefection

Think “1st”31

Do 1 Thing

Make it Small

Focus on Today

Remember

Page 32: Striving for Imprefection

Striving for Imprefection

Scott “Q” Marcus, RPTHINspirational Speaker • www.scottqmarcus.com • 707.442.6243