8/20/2019 Stories From the Bad Side: The Hairball

1/3

 Zdc irst toec ot dmppcbcj O mssuecj ot wms m dmorlmgg, kb agkscr obspcatokb

emylc tdc rcemobs k skec ubguany lorj. Kgj Emx goncj tk dubt, mtcr mgg. Lkbc mbj

m gottgc adubn k ecmt wcrc mgg wrmppcj bcmtgy ob ur mbj spottgc. Ot wms wdcb O

sakkpcj ot up kr tdc trmsd tdmt O rcak`bocj tdc ib`crbmog mbj tdc duemb dmor. !obc

ycmrs O"j prmatoacj ecjoaobc, lckrc m luggsdot emgprmatoac suot put mb cbj tk tdmt, sk

O nbcw dkw tk tcgg tdcsc tdob`s.

O jojb"t nbkw wdmt tk jk wotd tdos ubakekrtmlgc bcw mat. #dmt o O wms wrkb`$

Ot"s lccb m cw ycmrs. Lcob` kut k prmatoac amb emnc m pcrskb gksc tdcor tkuad. Zdc

dmor, tdku`d%tdcrc wms bk jcbyob` tdmt. Ot wms lgkbjc. Emx purrcj mbj rullcj

m`mobst ey dmbj, tdcrc tk akekrt ec ms mgwmys.

 Zdc `mrlm`c ecb tkkn ot mwmy tdc bcxt jmy, tocj up ob tdrcc gmycrs k pgmstoa

lm`s. O trocj tk put ot kut k ey eobj, `k kb wotd ey goc.

&css tdmb m wccn gmtcr Emx wms 'keotob` up m gottgc rm`ecbt k lkbc mbj ecmt

mbj dmor m`mob kbtk ey notadcb (kkr. Zdc prklgce wmsb"t `kob` tk `k mwmy, mbj O

dmj tk ibj kut wdk wms rcspkbsolgc.

Ot jojb"t tmnc euad tdobnob` tk akec tk tdc akbagusokb tdmt ey bcw bcxt)jkkr

bco`dlkr wms m proec suspcat. *c"j ek'cj ob kbgy twk ekbtds m`k, mbj bkw tdos$

O"j wmtadcj doe jmogy sobac dc"j ek'cj ob. K+acr manskb wms m wcorj `uy, skec

trmbspgmbt rke kut k Krc`kb. -gwmys akeob` mbj `kob` mt kjj dkurs, bc'cr tmgnob`

euad. k O stmrtcj msnob` tdc ktdcr bco`dlkrs mlkut doe.

/Kd, dc"s lccb jkob` skec jo``ob` lman ob tdmt ymrj, O tdobn,8 Ers. eotd rke

tdc kbc)stkry markss tdc strcct tkgj ec. dc wms kgj, klscr'mbt, mbj tmgnmto'c msdcgg.

O stcppcj uggy kbtk dcr pkrad, `gmj dcr bksobcss wms wkrnob` ob ey m'kr

tkjmy. /#dmt emncs yku smy tdmt, Es. eotd$8

dc gct kut m rmspy gmu`d mt ey amggob` dcr =eoss", mbj sgmppcj dcr nbcc. /-rc

yku lgobj$ dk'cg, jort. *cmr dc"s luogjob` m pkkg. *kpc ot"s dcmtcj%emylc dc"gg gct

ec tmnc m swoe.8

O wcbt lman dkec tk aurg up wotd Emx mbj akbsojcr wdmt O"j gcmrbcj.

8/20/2019 Stories From the Bad Side: The Hairball

2/3

/-by ojcms, kgj lky$8 O sarmtadcj ubjcr dos adob, wmtadob` ey bco`dlkr rke

tdc scakbj stkry wobjkw. *c wms wmsdob` dos amr mbj admttob` k'cr dos acgg, matob`

gonc c'crytdob` wms bkremg. 1oj dc nbkw$ 1oj dc nbkw O nbcw$ O akugjb"t lc surc. O

ncpt Emx ob tdc dkusc kr tdc bcxt wccn mbj tk`ctdcr wc wmtadcj Er. manskb `k

mlkut dos lusobcss. :ku amb"t 3uotc scc tdc lmanymrj rke dcrc, lut Ers. eotd"s

suspoaokbs k jo``ob` wcrc akbirecj 3uoangy cbku`d.

 Zdc pgmb O akbaco'cj wms m `kkj kbc, bkt tk lrm`. O wkrn ob akbstruatokb tdcsc

jmys. Ot"s bkt ms do`d)pmyob` kr ms smtosyob` wkrn ms ecjoaobc, lut ot dms ots upsojcs.

 Zkjmy ot wkugj k9cr ec m wmy tk ob'csto`mtc tdc sotumtokb. O nbcw K+acr manskb

dmj ubjmys k9. O"j mpprkmad doe tdcb, wdcb dc wkugj lc ekrc rcgmxcj. O mgwmys

ibj tdmt pckpgc mrc ekrc pgomlgc kb tdcor jmys k9.

O pksotokbcj eyscg wotdob 'ocw k dos dkusc tdmt ubjmy, wmtcrob` ey gmwb

wotd kbc cyc kb dos rkbt jkkr. #dcb dc amec kut tk `ct tdc emog, O trmppcj doe

wotd m rocbjgy wm'c.

/Ekrbob`, adoc08 O amggcj kut.

 Zdcrc wcrc jmrn aoragcs ubjcr dos cycs, mbj dos dmor dmjb"t lccb lrusdcj yct.

*c gkkncj mrkubj, surproscj emylc tdmt O wms tdc kbc wm'ob` tk doe. *mjb"t dmj

dos ekrbob` auppm 4kc yct, ot gkkncj gonc.

O tkkn mj'mbtm`c mbj spknc m`mob lckrc dc akugj euelgc skectdob` mbj sgop

lman obsojc. /*cmr yku"rc luogjob` m pkkg08 O smoj ob tdmt gkuj, klbkxokus 'koac

bco`dlkrs usc wotd cmad ktdcr markss gmwbs.

*c mncj m seogc mbj bkjjcj, turbob` tk pkobt pmst dos cbac. /Kd, ycmd. ?o`dt

lman tdcrc,8 dc smoj, tdcb mjjcj wotd m tkuad k projc, /Ot"s akeob` mgkb` boacgy.8

Ey kwb akbijcbac wm'crcj m gottgc ob tdc mac k dos. O dc wms akbijcbt ob dos

prk4cat%kr dos suppkscj prk4cat%O"j dm'c m gottgc ekrc jo+augty. O turbcj tdc dksc

k9 mbj stcppcj agkscr. /O wkrn ob akbstruatokb, joj yku nbkw$8

K+acr manskb sccecj ubacrtmob. /*cmrj yku wcrc m jkatkr$8

/6scj tk lc, surc. Zkk strcssug, akugjb"t tmnc ot,8 O mbswcrcj 3uoangy, wm'ob`tdc 3ucstokb k9. O `gmbacj lman up mt ey scakbj stkry wobjkw, spkttob` Emx

wmtadob` tdc akb'crsmtokb. O ncpt tmgnob` lckrc K+acr manskb bktoacj, 4ust ob amsc

dc eo`dt rcak`boc dcr. /-bywmy, luogt m cw pkkgs eyscg wdcb O wkrncj ob

>mgokrbom. Zdcrc"s m gkttm tdob`s tdmt"gg `k wrkb` wotd m prk4cat gonc tdmt, yku nbkw,

kbc eostmnc mbj yku"'c `kt m swmep kr m ymrj.8

*c gkkncj mt ec m gkb` wdogc mt tdmt, dos lrkws 4ust lmrcgy nbot tk`ctdcr.

8/20/2019 Stories From the Bad Side: The Hairball

3/3

/Ot"gg (kkj, os wdmt O ecmb.8

Osb"t tdmt tdc bo`dtemrc kr mby bcw dkec kwbcr$ O dc rcmggy wms 4ust luogjob`

m pkkg, dos tkcs wkugj lc aurgob` mt tdc tdku`dt. Emylc dc jojb"t c'cb dm'c tdc

obsurmbac wkrncj kut yct.

O wcbt kb. /O"gg dm'c m gkkn kr yku, emnc surc yku"rc bkt mlkut tk dm'c m !kmd

sotumtokb kb ykur dmbjs,8 O smoj. Zdmt"s m `kkj troan, emnob` k9crs kr rc3ucsts ms

stmtcecbts rmtdcr tdmb 3ucstokbs.