stop talking, start doing by shaa wasmund

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StopTalking,StartDoingPart1:TICKTOCKPart2:THEITCHPart3:FEARANDREGRETPart4:STARTPart5:THEARTOFDECISION-MAKINGPart6:…ANDACTIONAccreditationsAcknowledgments



Thiswassupposedtobeaboutsomethingelse.It’snotwhatweexpectedittobe.Butoncewestarted, it tookona lifeof itsown.Andnowit’s this.Andasa result it’shopefullybetterthantheoriginalidea.

Such is life. Such happy things only happen if you get started on something. There’ssomethingtosayaboutthisinPart4.

Originallythebookwasintendedspecificallyforpeopleteeteringonthebrinkofsettingup theirown firstbusinessand inneedof a friendly shove in the rightdirection.But itchanged.

The impetus needed to start a business is the same as anyone teetering on the brink ofanything.Soforyou—thisisyourkickinthepants.

Ifyouwant todosomethingbutsecretlyfearyou’renevergoingtodoit,whatever thatmightbe,thenthismighthelpyou:

GototheAmazon

Throwyourselfintoretraining

Loseadresssize

Gobacktoschool

Writeabook

Ditchyourpartner

Takeyourcompanyinanewdirection

Createart

Learntoplaypolo

Seekthepromotionyouwant

…ORsetupyourownbusiness.



As a result it’s not written just for the entrepreneurial business person but for theentrepreneurialinspirit.Thelessons,theadvice,thenagging,thecartoons,thejokes,theexaggerationsandthethingsthatpossiblyneverreallyhappened…allthesethingsapplytoanyonetryingtocrossthatbridgebetweentheirdreamsandtheirreality.

Talkingofthethings-that-probably-never-really-happened…

ATibetanLamawasspeakingtoagroupofmonksandtomakeapoint,pulledoutalargejar,setitonthetableinfrontofhim,producedafewfist-sizedrocks,andplacedthem,onebyone,intothejar.

Whennomorerockswouldfitinside,heasked:“Isthisjarfull?”Everyonesaid:“Yes.”Hereachedunderthetableandpulledoutabucketofgravel,dumpedsomeinandshookthejar,thegravelworkedbetweentherocks.Again,heasked:“Isthisjarfull?”Themonkswerecatchingon.“Probablynot,”oneanswered.

“Good!”herepliedandreachedunderthetableandbroughtoutabucketofsand.Hedumpedthesandintothejaruntilitfilledallthecrevices.Oncemoreheasked:“Isthisjarfull?”

“No!”themonksshouted.“Good!”hesaidandgrabbedapitcherofwaterandpouredituntilthejarwasfilledtothebrim.Thenheasked,“Whatisthepointofthisillustration?”Oneyoungmonkresponded,“Thepointis,nomatterhowfullyourdayyoucanalwaysfitsomemorethingsin.”

“No,:”thespeakerreplied,“thepointisthatifyoudon’tputthebigrocksinfirst,you’llnevergettheminatall.Whataretheprioritiesinyourlife?”1



Tojointhechat,gotowww.facebook.com/stoptalkingstartdoing

PART1

TICKTOCK

“Whatispastisprologue.”

WilliamShakespeare

“Eyesfront!”

Anydrillsergeantinanyarmyanywhere

Lifehasastinginthetail.

It’sshorterthanweexpect.

Anditracesbywhilewe’reworkingoutwhat’sreallyimportantandwhatactuallyisn’t.

Astimeroarspastourearswedrift,deliberate,doubtandtakeourselvestooseriouslyyetallthewhilewetalkaboutwhatwewould,couldandshoulddotomakeitbetter.

Andthenit’sgone.

Solet’swalkthetalk.

Becausethere’sneverbeenabettertime,oramore



http://www.facebook.com/stoptalkingstartdoing

urgenttime,tostartdoingthethingsyouwanttodo.

Let’sdance.

Thespeedoflife

Thisbookisaboutstarting.

It’saboutshiftingfromthestatictotheactivestate;thestatewherethingshappenbecauseyouinitiatedthem.

It’saboutshiftinggears,movingdirection,transformingwhatyoudowithyourday,yourweek,yourtimeandtakingcontrol;it’saboutdeliberatelyputtingonefootinfrontoftheotherandmovingwithpurposeinsteadofbeingcarriedalongbythecurrent.

There’s never been a better time to start something. Now more than ever we live in aworldofopportunity.

But thedownside to thisworldofopportunity—broughtaboutbynewtechnologyandnewsocial andworkingconventions— is aworld that seducesus intodrifting throughlife.

Things like: shopping, web-surfing, casual tweeting, photo-commenting and status-updating. It’snot that these thingsaren’t funor evengood.Butwhile itmight feel likeyou’re“doing”—inlargepartthankstothepowerofbillionsofdollarsofmarketing—youmighthaveafeelingthatthere’sgottobemoretolife.



Youmighthaveanitch.

Lifeisshort.

Ifyou’vegotsomethingyouwanttodo…nowisagoodtimetostart.



…Herearefourreasonswhy…

Thewheelsaregreased.

Ourconnectedworldmakesitpossibleforpeopletoactualizedreams,ideasandinitiativeinwaysourforebearscouldnotevendreamof.

1.Whateveryouwanttoknowisaccessibleinstantly.Want to collect fountainpens fromaround theworld,want to learnhow to collecttruffles, want to find someone to build a mobile phone app for you in anothercontinent,want to retrain,want to researchhow tobicycleacross theworld…?Noproblem.It’sallatyourfingertips.

2.Needtolocateexperthelp?Thenconnectwithpeoplewhocanhelpyou.Thesoaringdevelopmentofthesocialwebhasdemolishedbarriersbetweenyouand theexpertiseyouneed. Itempowersyou to ask friends of friends (and friends of friends of friends) if they can offeradvice,makeintroductions,shareexperiences.

3.Tribeup.



Whatever it isyouwant to startdoing—abusiness, aworkof art, a socialproject,setting up a partnership of website information architects—there are peoplesomewhereintheworldwhoshareyourpassion.Wanttofindpeopletotradeantiquefountainpenswith?Therearethousandsofthem.Itdoesn’ttakeSherlockHolmestofind people who share your passion. You can support each other, learn from eachother, do business with each other. The author Seth Godin2 calls these groups ofsharedpassions:“Tribes.”

4.The“barrierstoentry”havecollapsed.OK,sothat’sabusinesstermandwe’renotjusttalkingaboutbusiness.Butthepointis that the cost of setting up many businesses or even non-business projects hascollapsed. Most digital start-ups don’t even need an office but work from sharedspaceor coffee shops.Thishas, for example,hadan impacton theventurecapitalworld.ThepowerusedtobeinthehandsoftheVCsbecauseyouneededmoneytosetupabusinessandtheywouldexactaheavypriceforthecash.Nowthatitdoesn’tcostsomuchtostartup,thepoweriswithpeoplewhohaveideasandthe“gumption”tomakethemhappen.

VivalaRevolución!

Vivagumption!

5.You’realreadyatthecentreoftheuniverse.Andifinfactyouarestartingabusinessorcollectingfountainpensfromaroundtheworld,theglobalmarketsarewideopenforbusiness.Fromyourfrontroom.



Thefatisinthepan.Getcooking.



Theboatisbeingrocked.

The conventions of society that dictated the correct way to behave and whose archedeyebrowsused toholdpeople’sdreams in checkarevanishing. In thebig cities they’realreadylonggone.Theworldistooconnectedforthatanditmovestoofast.



1.Sixtyyearsagoagentlemanwouldn’tgotoworkwithoutahaton;tenyearsagotheystoppedwearingties.Nowyoudon’thavegointoworktogotowork…sowhoknowswhatpeoplearewearing.Butthepointis:whocares?!

Society cares less about conformity than it used to. This makes it easier to swimagainstthecurrent.Easiertodosomethingdifferent,tochallengeconvention.Ifyouwanttogiveupyourjobandtravelroundtheworld,learntojuggle,joinacommune—yourneighboursmightcoughandshaketheirheadsbutyoucancopewiththat…Ortheymightjusttellyouhowtheyalwayswantedtodothesamething.

2.The concept of a job for life is longgone.The tramlines that used to confine acareerfromstarttofinish;fromapprenticeshiptogravearen’timposedbyanyonebutyou.It’snotunusualtoholddownthreepart-timejobsatonceortoshiftjobseverycoupleofyears. In response to theabsenceof jobsecuritywehavehad tobecomemoreagileinourapproachtowork.Self-employmentissoaring.

3.Youaregoingtolivealongtime.Lifeexpectancygoesupandup.Ifyou’regoingtobearoundalongtimeyoumightaswelldosomethingyouenjoyforasmuchofthattimeaspossible.

Pimpyourride.

Theboatisalreadybeingrocked.

Someexamplesofhowlifestyle,work,societyandleisurearechanging.

ThemostentrepreneurialcountryintheWestisbuilton

failure10%ofUScompaniesgobusteveryyear.



(Source:economistandwriter,PaulOmerod)

Folkmanagingthemselvesandthemselvesalone

18mpeopleworkinnon-employerbusinesses.Meaningtheyhavenobossandtheyhavenostaffunderneaththem.

Theyjustgetupanddo.

(Source:USCensusBureau)

Locationswhereworkwasconductedduringthepastmonth

(Source:TeleworkTrendlines2009byWorldatWorkusingdatacollectedbytheDierengerResearchGroup)

Folkescapingthecubicleonadailybasis

13.5mpeopletelecommuteeverydayintheUnitedStates.33.7mtelecommuteatleastonedaypermonth.

(Source: Telework Trendlines 2009 by World at Work using data collected by theDierengerResearchGroup)

Folkescapingthecubicleforalongtime

Over 20% of companies offer a sabbatical program that allows employees to takesignificantperiodsoftimeofftopursuepersonalinterests.

(Source: “Boomers Taking More ‘Life Sabbaticals’” by Jane Ganahl, May 10, 2011,www.secondact.com)



http://www.secondact.com\)

LotsofpeoplesharethesamestartinglineIt’sestimatedthatoneineveryeightworkersintheUnitedStateshasatsomepointbeenemployedbyMcDonald’s.

(Source:NewYorkTimes)

…Andlotsofpeopledon’t:beingdifferentisbecomingthe

newnormMeasuredin2011,34%ofthepopulationofGreaterLondonin2011wasbornoutsidetheUK.That’supfrom27%in200l.

(Source:Wikipedia,http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GreaterLondon)

Smallbusinessesareeverywhere

2%ofenterprisesintheUKhavemorethan50staff.88%havefewerthan10staff.

(SourceOfficeofNationalStatistics)

Youwilllivelonger

Sodosomethingyouenjoy.

(Source:NationalCenter forHealthStatistics,NationalVitalStatisticsReports, 54(19),June28,2006.www.cdc.gov/nchs)

Andthere’salotofusaround

About7%ofallthepeoplewhohaveeverlivedarealivetoday.

(Source:CarlHaub,“HowmanypeoplehaveeverlivedonEarth?”PopulationReference



http://www.cdc.gov/nchs

Bureau)

Thedominanthabitatoftheglobalspeciesisthecity

Percentageofpopulationlivingincities:

(Source:LondonSchoolofEconomicsandDeutscheBank’sAlfredHerrhausenSociety:TheEndlessCity)

Andyetpeoplewanttoescapetheconcretehabitatandfarm

theirownfood…(butsometimestheyhavetowait)TheaveragetimeonawaitinglistforanallotmentinBritain:3years.InpartsofLondonthewaitis10years.

Accordingtoonesurvey,theLondonBoroughofCamdenhasawaitinglistof40years.

(Source:SurveybyLVInsurance2009quotedin“Allotmentwaitinglists:abarometerofourtimes,”DavidDerbyshire,February15th,2011.http://allotmentblog.dailymaiLco.uk)

RequestsformembershiptotheBritishBeekeepers’Associationrose25%in2009.

(Source: “Is urban beekeeping the new buzz?” Peter Jackson, August 5, 2009.http://news.bbc.co.uk)

PowerisshiftingEast

Buildingsover8storiesinShanghai

1980:121

2005:10,045

PopulationdensityinShanghai:26,000people/km2

PopulationdensityinLondon:4,800people/km2

(Source:LondonSchoolofEconomicsandDeutscheBank’sAlfredHerrhausenSociety:TheEndlessCity)



http://news.bbc.co.uk

You’venoexcusenottofindyourtribe!

Takewww.MeetUp.com,forexample.Thisonlinenetworkofsocialgroupsmakesiteasyfor people to connect with others who share the same interests. They meet online andoffline.

Numberofmeetingspermonth:250,000

Numberofdifferentmeet-uptopics:46,000Citiesholdingmeet-ups:45,000

(Source:MeetUp)

(Source:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_tallest_buildings_and_structures_in_London)

You’renotwhoyouwere

It takesseven to tenyears for thehumanbody to reneweverysinglecell.Yourbody isyoungerthanyouare.Whoseissuesareholdingyouback?!

Catchup



http://www.MeetUp.com

Isthatallthereis?

Indeed.Technologyhasbrought theworld toour fingertipsandhelpedknockdown theprisonwallsofconventionbutatthesametimeitalsothreatenstosuckthemeaningoutoflife.Theantidoteistotaketheinitiative;tostartsomethingyourself;somethingthathaspurpose.Herearesomeexamplesoftheareastowatchoutfor:

1. The shop floor. The meaningless grind of the factory production line has nowseeped into the world of the white collar worker. As factory jobs moved from theWest to the East the economies of the West have become dominated by so-called“knowledgeworkers”.Thecomponentpartsofthesejobshavebeenfragmentedjustlike assembly line work and have had the satisfaction sucked out in just the sameway.Rules andmanuals govern everydecision and reserve initiative anddecision-makingforthecomputerandtheheadoffice.Youbecomeemotionallydisconnectedfromyourjob…Yougetanitch.

2. Long days. The working day gets longer and longer. The macho pride in thelengthofthehoursyouwork,intheend,means…what?Youhavelessfreetime.SowhatareyougoingtoDOwithit?

3.Thebanksandthefinancialcrisis.Thefruitsoftheirlabour,foranawfullotof



people,wastheabilitytomaximizetheirdebtandbuythebiggesthousetheycouldaffordintheareatheywantedtolive.Andthenthemarketcrashed.Andyourhousepricewent“sayonara,baby”.Whichwaswhenyoubegantothinktoyourself:Isthatall there is?Where’smy job satisfaction if it isn’t in themortgage?Whatwould Irather be doing with my free time? With my money? How am I going to changethings?

In response to the feelingofemptinessanda search formeaningwearewitnessing theemergenceofbusinessentitiescreatedforreasonsotherthansolelymonetaryprofit.ThewriterDanielPink3 describes themovement as one ofPurposeMaximizers — peopleandentitiesdrivenbythingsotherthanmoney:

The open-source movement has created powerful and valuable businesses andorganizationssuchasWikipedia(theonlineencyclopedia),MozillaFirefox(thewebbrowser and email) and Linux (the operating system used by many largeorganizations).Suchbusinessesworkbecause thousandsofpeople freelygive theirtimeand skills.These arebeing formalizedas “for social-benefit”organizations asopposedto“forprofit”.

TheUSstateofVermont recentlycreateda lowprofit limited liabilitycorporation.Thisallowedeconomicentitiestobecreatedwhosepurposewastocreateamodestprofit,forsure,butprimarilytocreateasocialbenefit.Lookatitthisway,companylaw generally requires businesses to be created with the purpose of maximizingprofits for the benefit of shareholders. Now they can have a different purpose —enshrinedinlaw.

TheNobelPrizewinningeconomistMuhammadYunus4hascreated theconceptofsocial businesses. Rather than being “for profit” these are “non-loss” companies.Theymustbeeconomicallyself-sustainingbutarenotcreatedtomakeaprofitforthefoundersbuttoprovidesomeformofsocialgood.

It’snotthatseekingprofitisnecessarilybad.Farfromit.ButthistrendshowsagrowingappreciationofhowpeoplecanbepowerfullymotivatedandcompensatedbytheintrinsicmeaningofwhattheyDOandnotjustbyafinancialbonusscheme.



Waitingforanurbanplotoflandtoworkonbeforeyoustartwaitingtoleavethecityandgrowyourownvegetablesinyourowngarden?

Don’tconfineyourdreamtowaiting.

Getyourhandsdirty.

Start.



Tick

Onethingtechnologyhasn’tchanged.

Youwon’tliveforever.

Youmight live a bit longer but that’s all themore reason to start pursuing the life youwant,notjusttheoneyou’veendedupwith.

Anotherthingtechnologyhasn’tchanged:clichésaboutthepassageoftime.Thethingis,clichésandtruismsstickaroundthroughthegenerationsforareason…

Andthesandsoftimearerunningoutevenasyouturnthepage.



Thenumberofhumanbeingsestimatedtohavediedinthewholehistoryoftheuniverseandeverything.Ever.5

Thetotalnumberofhumanbeingsalivetodayatthemostpopuloustimeinthehistoryofthewholeworldever,ever.Sofar.

Thetotalnumberofchancestoliveyourlifethatyougetinthehistoryoftheworld,theUniverseandallthespacetimedimensionsvisitedinalltheepisodesofStarTrekincludingspin-offsever…beforeyouareaddedtothe110billionorsogravestoneseverputintothegroundbythetimeyoukickthebucket.



Insidetheropes,therearetwoguysfightingfortheirdreams.

Bothdaredmightythingsandbothhavehadgreatstoriestotell.

And outside the ropes there are a thousand faces watching other people fight for theirdreams.

Thepoint?

Youdon’twanttobeananonymousfaceinthecrowdofyourownlifestory.

That’salifeofregret.

Yougottafaceyourfearsandclimbinsidetheropes.



FollowShaaonTwitter@shaawasmund

PART2

THEITCH

“Onehalfofknowingwhatitisyouwanttodoisknowingwhatyoumustgiveup

beforeyougetit.”

SidneyHoward

“Weneedtofirstdefinetheproblem.IfIhadanhourtosavetheworldIwouldspend59minutesdefiningtheproblemandoneminutefindingsolutions.”

AlbertEinstein

You’vebeenstung.

Andnowyou’vegotanitch.

Amosquitobite-sizeditch.

OranitchthesizeofMountEverest,perhaps.

Maybeyouwillbeforeverrestlessuntilyouwritethatnovel,start thatbusiness,get that job,orworkinthatindustry.

Thefirstthingistorecognizetheitch.



http://www.twitter.com/shaawasmund

Recognizeitandyou’rehalfwaythere.Becausethenatleastyouknowwhichwaytofocusyourattention.

ThetrainSothefirststepistoknowwhatyouwant.Whatisityouwanttostartchanging?

Isitaboutintroducingsomethingnewintoyourlifeorisitsomethingbigger?

Thereisnouniversalrightanswer.Justarightanswerforyou.

So,grabapenandpaper,pulloutyouriPadorpickupapieceofchalk…

Writedowntheonethingthatyouwant todomost.Theonethingthatwouldmakethemostdifferenceorbringthebiggesthappinessintoyourlife.

Keepitsimpleandfocused.

Doitnow.Let’sgetthisdoingmuscleworking!

Wheredoyouwanttositonthetrain?



Allaboardthe:YourLifeExpress

Youcanhaveahappylifechoosingajobpaththatallowsyoutofinishat5pm,everydayonthedotso thatyoucan leave the job in theofficeandplay theoddroundofgolfonlongsummerevenings.

Butbear inmind thatwhile sucha lifestylemight seem likeperfection toyou, itmightsmackofclaustrophobicroutineforsomeoneelse.

Theiridealmightbefoundinconstantchangeor,perhaps,manicdeadlines(writershavebeenknowntobelikethat,soitissaid).

On a more pragmatic note, it might be that you require a predictable and relativelyundemanding job so that you can plough your real energy into another project — abusiness

ofyourown,ormaybeyourpassionforcooking.Onceyourecognizethevirtuesofyourjobyoumightfindyou’vegotlesstobefrustratedabout.

Andthenthere’sthebrightlylit,hard-as-concreterealitiesofyourpersonalsituation.

Most people are limited by obligations to family or economic constraints. Others byphysical infirmities. These are real and naturally you have to marry your sky-highambitionswithsomesmartnavigationaroundsuchobstacles.Youroptionscanbeaswideopenasthesevenseas,ifyouwantthemtobe—rejoiceandmakethemostofit!

“Whatamancanbe,hemustbe.”



AbrahamMaslow

Whereareyouscratching?

Observeyourselftolocateyouritch.

Alas, not everyone has an overwhelming urge to do a particular THING. Sometimesthere’sjustafeelingthattheremightbemoretolife.

Forthosewhoareblessedwitha“calling”thenit’seasytoanswerthequestion:“What’syourpassion?”

Butforalotofusitsmoredifficult.

ThewriterDanielPink6 says this is thewrongquestion inanyevent.The rightone,hesays,istoask:

“Whatdoyoudo?”

Theansweryoushouldbelookingforisnotnecessarilywhatyoudoasacareer:I’manaccountant/I’mafull-timemotherbutitstheotherstuffthatyoudo.Inotherwords,Pinkurges that you instead monitor yourself to see what it is that you do alongside yourheadlineactivity.

Bythishemeanstoexaminewhatitisyoudoinyourfreetime.Wheredoesyourmindwander when you have a spare moment? What do you make time for? In your quietermomentsatworkdoyouwritepoetry,doodle,scratchrecipesandingredientsonapadofpaper, edit your photographs, check out the latest science on endurance athletes orsomethingelseentirely?Wheredoesyourmindflowto?Whatwebsitesandblogsdoyougravitateto?Whatdoyoudoevenifyou’renotbeingpaidtodoit?

There’syouranswer.Oratleastoneofthem.

’In the next 20 years we shall becomemuch richer, but will we really be any richer as people -happier?”

RichardNixon,1968,USPresident



The economistRichardEasterlin argued that once your basic needs are covered, an increase in averageincome does not necessarily lead to increased levels of average happiness. His analysis showed thatalthough wealth, or income per person, rose steadily between 1947 and 1970, the average happinessreported by individuals did not rise no matter how much more they earned. Some economists havechallengedthisrecentlybutmostacceptthatthelinkbetweenincomeandhappinessisnotstraightforward.

WhyarepeopledriventoDOthingsotherthanmakemoney?

Inaworldobsessedbywealthandcelebrities(whointurndisplayandrepresentwealth)itmightstrikeawrongnotetosaymoneyisn’ttheanswer.Thosewhodon’thaveitcertainlyknow it would make their life easier; and yet those who are wealthy will proclaimearnestly:“moneydoesn’tmakeyouhappy”.

Ifmoneydoesn’tmakeyouhappywhatshouldyoubedoing?

Howdoyouknowwhetherscratchingyouritchwillmakeyouhappy?

ThepsychologistAbrahamMaslow7 argued thatpursuing thatwhichyouarepassionateaboutanddrivenbywillmakeyouhappybecauseitfulfilsyour“highestneeds”.

Ahumanbeingisdrivenbyfivecategoriesofneeds,hesaid:

Physical,Security,Social,Esteem,andSelf-Actualization.

Moneywillgenerallyhelpyousatisfysomeoftheseneedsbutnotallofthemandmostprobablynottheonethatismostpersonal—Self-Actualization.

WhatyouneedtoHAVEandwhatyouwanttoDO



Towardthebottomofthepyramidareyourbasicneeds.Youneedtodealwiththesefirstofall(whocaresaboutyourpassiontosailtheCaribbeanifyou’retootiredtothink?).

Youneedfoodtoeat,youneedtobedryandwarm.Thenyouneedtobephysicallysafeandyouneedsecurity(includingfinancialsecurity).

These two lower level needs guarantee survival and are a minimum requirement. Thenyouneedasenseofbelonging—whetherit’stoafamily,agroupoffriends,orforsome,asharedpassionthroughsomeinterestgroup.

With thesebasicneedssatisfiedyouare thendriven,saidMaslowtoseekcomfort fromhavingagoodreputationandbeingheldinhighregardnotjustbyothersbutimportantly—alsobyyourself.

And indeed, it’s true that a fast car might be a way of gaining high esteem in somepeople’seyes…butsomightdoingcharityworkorbeinganexperturbanbeekeeper.

With all these four needs satisfied you can focus on your itch or what Maslow called“Self-Actualization”.This isaboutrealizingyourfullpotential.“Whatamancanbe,hemustbe:”Maslowsaid.

Your strong need may be to be the best teacher you can be, the owner of your ownbusiness,a skilledphotographeror thepersonwhocanhold theirbreathunderwater forthelongesttime.

Needlesstosay,theactofActualizationisintheactofdoing…nottalkingaboutdoing.

Indefenseoftalking

Don’tgetthewrongidea.

This urgency to turn talking into doing doesn’t mean talking is bad. On the contrary,



talkingisgood.

It’s one of the best ways to explore your ideas and your options and hold them up toexaminationtoseewhetheryourplansmakesenseandyourreasoningissound.

Thethingabouttalkingisthatit’sasurefirewaytoknowthatsomethingisbuggingyou.Ifyou talkabout somethinga lot then thechancesare that it’s treadingheavilyonyourpsychicradarandthat’sasignyouneedtodosomethingaboutit.Solistenup.

Andifyou’reseriousaboutdoingsomethingthenitmakeseverytypeofsensetotalkitthroughwithpeople.

Talking is one half of one of the most indispensible commodities of life—and that isconversation.

Butwhenyoutalkaboutwhatyou’regoingtodo…talkwithpurpose.

Peoplewilllistentoyouiftheybelievethatwhenyousayyou’regoingtodosomethingyoureallywillwalkthetalk.

YoucouldcallittheRonsealapproachafterthefamousUKadvertisingcampaignfortheno-nonsenseDIYbrandwhich:

More inspirationally you might call it the Muhammad Ali approach. He was as spell-bindingaspeakerashewasamesmerizingforceinthering.

TheAlilesson:Ifyoutalkbiganddeliverbigthenyoutrulyaregreat.

Braggadocio

Brag´ga*do”cio(?),n.

[FromBraggadocchio,aboastfulcharacterinSpenser’sTheFaerieQueene]



1.Abraggart;aboaster;aswaggerer.Dryden.

2.Emptyboasting;merebrag;pretension.Webster’sRevisedUnabridgedDictionary(G.&CMerriamCo.,1913,editedbyNoahPorter)

…OrasMr.TfromtheA-Teammightsay:

“Fool,you’rewearingmyearsout.’

Self-belief andbigwords— if they’renot backedupby action— leavepeople flat. Ifyou’resayingtheword“I”ineverysentencethenyouneedtodosomething:

…somethinglikepipedown.

Unless…Well,here’ssomeonewhotalkedreallybiganddeliveredonit…



Andperhapsmorethoughtfully:

“Amanwhoviewstheworldthesameatfiftyashedidattwentyhaswastedthirtyyearsofhislife.”

“Hewhoisnotcourageousenoughtotakeriskswillaccomplishnothinginlife.”

“Itisn’tthemountainsaheadtoclimbthatwearyouout;it’sthepebbleinyourshoe.”

“Silenceisgoldenwhenyoucan’tthinkofagoodanswer.”

MuhammadAli

Heavyweightchampionoftheworld



…andlistening(Theotherhalfoftheindispensiblecommodityofconversation.)Youcan’tlistenifyou’retoobusytalking.Andit’sagreat

waytolearn.Don’tjustlistentothetopnoteseither,listentothebackgroundnoisetoo.Oftenit’sthesmallthingsthatgounnoticedthatprovidetherealclues.

Arhetoricalquiztoreinforcethepoint:

Youmeetsomeonesmarterthanyou.

Doyou:

a/shutupandlisten

ordoyou

b/talktheirearsoff?

Youknowtheoneaboutthereasonyouweregiven

TWOearsandONEmouth…



ApplauseWarning

Examineyourreasonscarefully.Areyoudoingitbecauseit’ssomethingyouwanttodoorareyouseekingitforwhatitwillsayaboutyou.Beggingapplausefromafickleaudienceisadangerouswaytochaseyourdreams.Youaredependentonotherpeople.ThisisnotSelf-Actualization.



ResponsibilityWarning

If this thing you seek will have a significant effect on your life or those of others(particularly your dependants)…think carefully about the reasons why you are doing itbeforetakingtheplunge.

Howdoingattractscriticismandcomplaintsforallsortsof

understandablebutwrong-headedreasons…Weallliveinterdependentlives.

Wetakecomfortfromseeingpeopleintheofficeeverydayevenifwedon’ttalktothemormaybedon’tevenlikethem.

Seeingtheusual thingshappenfor theusualreasonsmeanstherearenonastysurprises.Routineiscomfortable.

Inawayit’saconfirmationthatwe’redoingtherightthing…evenifpartofthatroutineistogettogetheraroundthecoffeemachineandmoanabouthowawfuleverythingis.

Soifyouareabouttodosomethingdifferent—byturningyourintentionintoactionandsteppingintothering—youwillbeupsettingthestatusquoandconsequentlyyoumayfindyousuddenlycreateanarmyofcritics.



Becausewhenyouchange,yourrelationshipwitheverythingandeveryoneelsechangestoo.

Thisreallydoesscarepeople.Thosepeoplewhoarefreakedoutthatyoujustturnedtalkintoactionwillprobablyredoubletheircriticismofyourideas;they’lltrytotalkyououtofit;they’llquestionyourmotivesandgenerallydoallmannerofthingstodissuadeyou.Noteveryone.Butenoughtogiveyoupauseforself-doubt.

Don’t let it freezeyou.Simplyunderstand thatwhenyoustepoutofyourcomfortzoneyoumakeotherpeoplefeeluncomfortabletoo.

That’s okay.Don’t getmad.Livewith it. It’s a human reaction.Younever know—youmighthavedonethesameintheirshoes.

Butdon’tliveyourlifebyotherpeople’slimitations.

…Andnowalsoembracethefactthatyouwillalsobe

criticizedfortherightreasons.Suckitup.Ifyougetconstructivecriticismaboutyourbusinessplans,yourpaintingstyle,yourdreamsofpromotion,yourtravelplanthendon’tdismissit.

Weighupthemeritsofthatcriticism;theymighthaveapoint.Andthissortofcriticismcanmakeyourplansbetter.

In other words, you need to distinguish between constructive criticism and that whichcomesfromsomeoneelse’sfearanddiscomfort.



Theworldisnotconspiringagainstyou.(Itjustfeelslikethat.Sometimes.)Someadviceforthe

“persecuted”



Since we’re being honest. Do you suffer from “Poor Me” syndrome, a persecutioncomplex?Isthatwhat’sstoppingyoufromscratchingyouritch?

Somepeoplethinktheycan’tdoitbecausetheworldisagainstthem.Itisn’t.It’skindofagainsteveryone.

But for some people this sense of persecution can be crippling. The philosopher andmathematicianBertrandRussell8developedfourrulestokeeppersecutionmaniaatbay:

1.“Don’toverestimateyourownmerits”

Ifno-onelikesyourpaintingsoryourbusinessplanthenconsiderthatmaybethey’rerightandyou’renotverygood.Inahundredyearswe’llknowwhetheritwasawasteofgoodcanvasoryoureallywere“afflictedbythedesiretoproduceunrecognizedmasterpieces”.

If itseemsthatperhapsyourfriendsareright thenadmittedlyit ispainful toaccept thatyourmeritsarenotwhatyouhoped.Butrecognizingthisnow—ratherthanthinkingtheworldisouttogetyou—meansyoucanmoveon,rebuild,reframeyourobjectivesandstartagainwithtargetsandachievementsyoucansucceedat.

2.“Don’texpectotherstotakeasmuchinterestinyouasyoudoyourself”

Don’texpecttoomuchofotherpeople.Everyonehastheirownego,theirownneeds.Ifothersbendoverbackwardswtohelpyouitmaybethatyouareaskingtoomuchofthemandnotthattheyarebeingtooselfish.Theproblemmightbeyourownego.

3. “Remember that yourmotives are not always as altruistic as they seem toyourself”

Those who believe their “itch” has a higher moral calling are especially likely to feelpersecuted. After all, a mission with a higher altruistic component ought perhaps tocommand extra special support…not indifferenceor criticism. Itmight be true that youhavegreateraltruismthanyourcompadres.

Butmaybeyoushouldjustdouble-checkyourmotives.

“Peoplewhohaveahighopinionoftheirownmoralexcellence,”suggestsRussell,arenotbeing honest with themselves. As a consequence they are in grave danger of feelingpersecutedwhenothersquestionthemotivesbehindtheiractions.

4. “Don’t imagine that most people give enough thought to you to have anyspecialdesiretopersecuteyou”

Normalpeopledonotspendtheirwakinghoursplottinghowtothwartyou.They’retoobusy trying to pay their mortgage and working out why their boiler is making a funnysound.Thinkingthatyouareimportantenoughtohavebeensingledoutbyunseenforcestobesquashed,ignored,oralwaysgetparkingticketsisbasedonavanitythatyouhavespecialimportanceintheworld.



Butstartdoingsomethingspecialandthatmightchange…

Maybeyou’requitehappytostickatbeingabigtalkeraboutthethingyouwanttostartratherbeingthesortofpersonwhoactuallygoesanddoesit.

That’sokay.There’salotoffolklikethatabout.

AsthecomedianGeorgeBurnssaid:

“Toobadthatall thepeoplewhoknowhowtorunthecountryarebusydrivingtaxisorcuttinghair.”

There’snodenyingthatit’sfuntalkingaboutwhatyouwoulddo.

Butbearinmindthatyoumightstarttowearoutthepatienceofotherpeople.

Ifyouspotgrittedteethorbleedingearswheneveryoustarttalkingaboutyourgrandplansthatyou’venointentionofeverstarting:

“Talkdoesn’tcookrice.”

Chineseproverb



Nowthen.

Therestofthebookisforthosethatwanttoconverthotairintodynamismanddemolishall the different ways you might stop yourself from starting what you want to do andscratchingyouritch…




PART3

FEARANDREGRET

“Hewhoisnotcourageousenoughtotakeriskswillaccomplishnothinginlife.”

MuhammadAli

“Twentyyearsfromnowyouwillbemoredisappointedbythethingsthatyoudidn’tdothanbytheonesyoudiddo.Sothrowoffthebowlines.Sailawayfromthesafe

harbour.Catchthetradewindsinyoursails.Explore.Dream.Discover.”

MarkTwain

Whenitcomestoseizingcontrolofyourlifeandturningyourtalkintoactionwhatstopsmostpeopleis

fear.Fearhasitsplace.Ourancestorshadafinelytunedsenseoffearwhichleaptintolifethemomenttheyheardatwigsnap.

Wellthatwasdesignedforthedaywhenthebadnewswasbeingeatenbyadinosaur.Nowthebadnewsisyoumight not get promoted, someonemight not buy fromyour sandwich shop, or youmight even getsackedfromajobyoudon’tmuchcarefor.

Regretthatyouneversoughtpromotionorshowedanyoneyourpaintingswillhurtyoumore.

Embracethefearandleaveregretforsomeothersucker.




ThescalesthatmatterthemostRegret weighs more than Fear. But fear looks bigger. That’s because you can see itstandingthereinfrontofyou.Daringyou.Tauntingyou.

Regretthatyoudidn’tfollowyourhearttodowhatyoufeltcompelledtodosneaksuponyouovertime.

Andeveryyearregretgrowsheavier.

…Which is to say what you should be really scared of is regret. Regretting what youmighthavedonebutneverdid.

Ifyoudothethingandmakeamistakethere’salwaystheopportunitytosalvagethingsbytakingadifferentcourseormoreaction.

Butregretismuchhardertoresolve.Regretreachesalongclawfromthepastandlowersacoldhandonyourshoulder today. Ifyoufailed todosomething in thepastwhenyouhadthechance…thenthatremainsthecaseforever.Youcan’tturnbacktime.

Onceyouappreciatetheimmensedreadthatyououghttohaveforregretthenmanyorallofyourotherfearswilldiminishinproportionandyouwillstartdoing.

Fear regret…and by doing so, discover your courage to do your “thing” whatever thatmightbe.Andyes,doitdespitebeingscared—it’swhatLondonerscall“BOTTLE”.



Idon’thavetimetodoit.

Idon’tknowhowtodoit.

Itmightfail.

I’dhavetogiveupmyjob.

Therearen’tenoughhoursintheday.

I’mgoingtodoitoncetherecessionisover.

Ineedtohaveaholidayfirst.

Thebankmanagerwon’ttakemeseriously.

Peoplewilllaughatmefortrying.

Peoplewilllaughatmeforfailing.

IshouldjustbethankfulforwhatIhaveandstopbeinggreedy.

It’sselfish.

I’vegottoomuchgoingoninmyhead.

I’mtootired.

Ihaven’tgotaspacetostartmyproject.



Youdon’tunderstandwhatit’slike!

Iwenttothewrongschool.

Ihavethewrongaccent.

I’mthewrongcolour/gender/height/shape/width/material/angle/consistency/…

Flush themaway.Get ridof them.Demolish themoryouwon’t everget started.Therewillalwaysbereasonsnot tostart.Andforsomepeoplewhetherbyreasonof location,financialcircumstances,familysituationorphysicalchallengesthehurdlewillbemuch,muchharderthanothers.

But the clock doesn’t care. It’s ticking at the same speed for everyone: the speed of



whoosh!

Thesandsoftimearerunningoutforyourdreamsevenasyouturnthepage.

…SO

…flushfast.

HowtoflushApart from“fast”, theway to flushaway thesefears is to recognize themforwhat theyare:mereexcusesnot tograsp foryourdreams.Hold themup to the lightandexaminethem.

Belogicalandrationalnotemotional.Whatdotheyreallymean?Isitenoughtostopyouinyourtracks?Forever?Orareyouseeingthingsthataren’treallythere?

“Ablackcatcrossingyourpathsignifiesthattheanimalisgoingsomewhere.”

GrouchoMarx

Theprisonyouaccidentallycreated

Soyoumademistakesinthepast.Getoverit.Don’tdwellonit.Themoreyoudwellonsomethingthebiggeritbecomes.

Instead, recognize that we all make mistakes. The only way to prevent those mistakesblockingyoufromenteringtheringistoacknowledgethem,learnfromthemandmoveon.

Unlessyou’reperfectyouhaveaccumulated“baggage” inyour life.Whatever it isyouneedtodealwithit.Becauseitwon’tgoawayandno-oneelseisgoingtodealwithit.

Runningawayfromproblemsdoesn’tmakethemgoaway.

The sooneryoudealwith them, the sooner they aredealtwith. If youdon’t do it,whowill?It’smucheasiertoburyourheadsinthesand,butwehavetopullthemoutatsomepointandwhenwedotheproblemwilljustbeawholelotbigger.



Thedecisionyouareabouttomakeistheintersectionbetweenyourpastandyourfuture…

The National Archives in Washington DC is where the US Constitution, the Bill of Rights and otherhistoricdocumentsarepreserved.ThesedocumentsdefinetheUSA’spast.

There’saquotationthatcapturesbetterthananyothertheimportanceofhistoryinbringingacountryorapersontothestatetheyfindthemselvesinatanygivenmoment.

FromastatueoutsidethebuildingtoacommemorativeseriesofpostagestampsthisquotationrunsthroughtheorganizationlikewordsonastickofBrightonrock.

ThequotationisfromShakespeare’splay,TheTempest.

Twoofthecharactersareabouttocommitamurder.Theirpast-everyactiontheytookandeverydecisiontheyhave evermade - leads them to thepoint of killing someone.Ornot.Needless to say, they cannotchangetheirhistory…buttheirfutureistheirstomake.

The past,with its baggage andmistakes, is nothing but the lead up to every current decision. If you’rereadingthisbookthenyouprobablybelieveinfreewill.

Everydecisionisyourstomake.

Todoornottodo.

Thepastispast.ThelimitofhistoryisNOW.Allyoucanchoosenowisyournextmove…

…Besuretounderstandthesignificance:

Don’tletyourpastmistakescontrolyourfuture.

Doyouworrypeoplewilllaughatyoufortryingtochaseyourdream?



Bigdeal.

a)Sowhatiftheydo?

b)Ifsomeonelaughsatyoufortryingthenquestionwhethersuchapersondeservesevenastandingticketinyourlifestory.Letthemgo;showthemtheexit.

c) Although, having kicked them outside into the rain the fact is they’re doing you afavour.Thegood thingaboutpeople laughingatyou is it stopsyou takingyourself tooseriously. Actually, you should laugh too. 106 billion people have taken themselvesseriouslysofarandwhatgoodhasitdonethem?

d)Incidentallythepersonmockingyouis72.8%water.

That’slikebeingbulliedbyabathtub.Sowhatdotheyknow?

(Andcometothat,howseriouslyareyoutakingyourself,youdrip?)

“Itbehooveseverymantorememberthattheworkofthecriticisofaltogethersecondaryimportance,andthatintheend,progressisaccomplishedbythemanwho

doesthings.”

TheodoreRoosevelt,26thAmericanPresident



Thatmightnotbeabadthing.

Sureit’seasytosay,buthere’swhy:Ifyou’reearningazillionbucksinabankshiftingmoneyaroundtheworldthenno-onedoubtsthatit’seasiertobuy,forexample,thatpoloponyandstartyournewsport.Butmoneyisadouble-edgedswordwhichpeoplebecomeaddictedtoandwhichmakesitharderforthemtoquittheirjobandstartwhattheyreallywanttodo.

Highearnersgettrappedbytheirlifestyle.WallStreetandtheCityofLondonareteemingwithfolkwhovowedtomakeapileofmoney,quickandyoung,saveitupandquittodosomething they enjoyed: pig farming, fashion styling, acting …but then found theycouldn’tgiveup.

Thisisn’ttosayyoushouldshedtearsforthewealthy.Butyoushouldrecognizeacertain



libertytodowhatyouwant:youhavelesstolose!

Forexample,ifyou’reyoungthenyoucan(maybe)gosleeponafriend’ssofaandworknightshiftsinabartofundyourpassiondevelopingabusinessoranartisticcareer.That’snot so easy to do if you think life’s about paying off the loans on your Porsche andpenthousesuite.

A bit like money, the great schools help. And if you got a second-rate education it’stemptingtoquestionwhetherthecardsaresostackedagainstyouitwouldbepointlesstoevenstartthefight.

Thatwouldbewrong.

JustaskBillGates,RichardBranson,CocoChanelorevenSimonCowell.

BillGates never finisheduniversity.RichardBransonnot only left school at 16, but hewasdyslexic toboot—agoodexcuse ifyouneededone.CocoChanelwasanorphanfrom12andhadnoformaleducationandSimonCowellstartedhisworkinglifeinamailroom.

25%ofForbeswealthiestAmericansnevergraduatedfromcollege.

Proofthatyourattitude,notyoureducation,iswhatcounts.

Sure,goingtothe“right”schoolmayopenafewdoors,butit’syou,notyoureducation,thatwillkeepthemopen.

Ifyou’rethinkingthatyoudon’twanttoriskwhatyouhaveinordertopursueyouritchthenperhapsthesurprisingtruthisyou’reprettyhappywithwhatyouhave.Inthatcaseembracewhatyouhaveandenjoyitmore.



Maybe,forexample,thejobisOKandwhatmakesyouunhappyisthefactyoudon’tplaysportanymore.Again-youneedtoanalyzeyourselfhonestly.

Maybeyou’dbefoolishtorocktheboat.

Blamingyourjobmaybeanoutletforyourfrustrationthatsomethingelseispreventingyoubuyingapairoftennisshoesandgettingbackoutoncourt.

In contrast you might consider it thoughtfully and conclude that what you have isn’tenoughandmaybeitneverwas.

Maybeyou’veoutgrownthejob,therelationship,thetownyoulivein…

Ifyoudecideyoudon’tlikeitanymorethencastoffyourfearsandRockThatBoat.

True.Therearen’t.Andthat’snevergoingtochange.

Butifyou’readoeryou’llrecognizethatweallgetthesameamountoftimeinaday,it’showweuseitthatmatters.

Whichmeansyouarejustgoingtohavetogetsmartabouthowyouprioritizetime.

Consider also that the aspect of timeyouought tobemotivatedby is thepart that youcan’tmanage-andthat’showfastit’sflowingpast.

Sodealwiththebitsthatyoucan.

Prioritize!

Believing yourself to be monumentally and eye-poppingly busy may be an accuratereflectionofyourlife.Itmayalsobeanotherwayofhidingfromtheactofgettingstarted.



Amidthecacophonyofyourbusynessyoumayhavehad timetohear the term“abusyfool”.Asfarasthisbookisconcernedthissimplymeansyoucanbeextremelybusydoingthewrong thing purely for the purpose of being too busy to confront and dowhat youreallyneedtodo.

By the same token, another well-worn phrase among business leaders is: “If you needsomething done give the task to a busy person.” Someone who is already really busydoingimportantthingsdoesn’thavetimetoprevaricateanddelay.Theyhavetoprioritizetheimportantstuffandgetthingsdone.

Ifthisisanexcusethatringsbellsforyouthenyoushouldstopandtakestock.Makesureyourbusybehaviourispointedintherightdirection.

Onthesubjectofbeingtoobusy,howtherearenotenoughhoursinthedayandwhyitisimportanttoplanthecampaigntoscratchyouritch,considerthe18th-centurylifeofBenjaminFranklin.



Franklinwasoneof17children.Hewasthereallybusyone;heknewsomethingaboutmanaginghistime.Oneof the things he did in his lifewas to invent the lightning rod.And anotherwas to create the firstpubliclendinglibraryinAmerica.Infacthe’salsothefaceonthe$loodollarbill,whichiswhythatnoteisnicknameda“Benjamin”.Perhapshe’smorefamousforbeingoneof thefoundingfathersof theUnitedStatesofAmerica,whichistosayhewasoneoftheauthorsoftheAmericanConstitutionaswellastheDeclarationofIndependence.

Franklinwasanewspapereditor,too.AndhewasalsothefirstUSambassadortoFrance.HecreatedthefirstfireserviceinPennsylvania.Heinventedbifocals.AndhewasoncetheGovernorofPennsylvania.HechartedandnamedtheAtlanticseacurrentweknowtodayastheGulfStream.EvenwhenhetoyedaroundhewasproductiveandheisamemberoftheUSChessHallofFame.

Overleafishisdailyscheduleashedescribeditinhisautobiography.Itisagreatexampleofsettinggoals,planningyourtimebutnotoverplanning,measuringyourgoalsandgettingthingsdone.

Thediscomfortzone



If all this talkof confrontingyour fearsmakesyouuncomfortable thencongratulations:you’reintherightplace.

Itmeansyouaretopplingforwardoutofyourarmchairandintotheworldofaction.

DeliberatelyaimfortheDiscomfortzone.

TheEurofighterisoneofthemostunstableplanesinthesky.That’swhatyougetafterspendingtensofbillionsofpoundsdevelopingastate-of-the-artairplane.

Itisoneofthefifthgenerationoffighterjets.Andthesecuttingedgeaircraftwerebuilttobeunstable.

Ofcourseit’snotcalledbeingunstable.It’scalledRelaxedStability.Butthepointistheplanecanflipover,up,sideways,skipupwards,zipdownwardsinresponsetothetiniestinstructionfromthepilot.

Theboffinscouldn’tevenmakeplanesthisunstableuntiltheyhadinvented“flybywire”technology.Flybywiremeans thepilot flies by sending electronic signals tomotorson thewings and tail of theplanewhichcontinuallyadjusttheplane’sstateintheair.Beforethisflyingplaneswasalotmoremanual.

In fifth-generation relaxed stability jet fighters the plane’s computer makes all the adjustments. A pilotsimplycouldn’tkeeptheplaneintheairwithoutthecomputersmakingthousandsandthousandsofmicro-adjustmentsallthetime.

Sowhydidtheybuildjetsthatcost$100millioneachandareinherentlyunstable—andalmostunflyable?

It’sbecausethegiddyinstabilityiswhatmakestheplanesoextravagantlymanoeuvrable.Asmallpushonthejoystickthiswayorthatandthefightercanmaketurnsandloopsthat

wouldhavebeenimpossibleintheiroldplanes,whichsuddenlyseemedslowanddull.

ThehardthingwiththeEurofighterisn’tswooping,turningandlooping;thehardthingwasstayingonthesameoldcourse.

Wellthat’swhatallthepreviousgenerationsofjetfighterswerelike.

Theycouldflyinreallymeanstraightlinesandpredictablecurves.Andtheyweremucheasiertofly.Butthosepilotsintheircomfortableoldfighters,intheirarmchairs,didn’tstandachanceagainstthepilotswhowereinthediscomfortzone.

Thisiswhereyouwin.Outsidethecomfortzone.



The discomfort zone is a state you’ll need to pass through to achieve any change ofsignificance.

Here’s a yogi who has turned a bed of nails into an environment for relaxation andmeditation.

Eachtotheirown.

Digdeep

There’salwaysareasonnottodosomething.Thetruthisformanyofus,lifecanbehardattimes,butthisiswhenwehavetodigdeepandpushforward.Wehavetomoveawayfromourcomfortzoneandcreatesolutionswherenoneseemtoexist.

J.K.RowlingwasasinglemumwhenshewroteHarryPotter.

Notonlythat,butshehadtofacebeingturneddownbycountlesspublishersbeforeonewouldbelieveinher.Itwouldhavebeenmucheasierforhertohavesaid,“I’masinglemum,Ijustdon’thavethemoneyortimetodothis,”butshedidn’t.

And where is she now? A billionaire fulfilling her life’s ambitions of being one of themostsuccessfulauthorsofalltime.

Yes, it isharder ifyouareasingleparentorhavechallengingfamilycommitments,butthereisabigdifferencebetween“harder”andimpossible.

Youhavetodowhateverittakesanddon’tgiveup.Findanothersinglemum(ordad)tosharechildcarewith,worknights,findsomethingyoucandoworkingfromhomeinthefirst instance.Whatever youdo, it probablywon’t bewhat youwant to do, but it’s notsupposedtobe-it’ssupposedtobeasteppingstonetogetyouwhereyouwanttogo.



Manypeoplehaveadifferenttypeoffamilycommitment—obligation.Parentswantthebest for their children,but this canoftenmeanpushing themdownapath that isn’t forthem.

Howmanypeopledoyouknowwhoareincareersbecauseatsomepointintheirlifetheythoughtitwouldpleasetheirparents,spouse,careerteacherorsociety?

Wehavetobetruetoourselveswhilstmanagingtheseobstaclessensitively.Explainandprove to those that love you that following your own path doesn’t mean a life ofdebaucheryanddestitution;OK,youmaynotdothePh.D.orbecomeadoctor,butyou’regoingtobehappyandfulfilledandultimatelythat’sallanyparentwants—eveniftheycan’talwaysseeitatthetime.

Thenthere’stheage-oldexcuseof…age.Tooyoung,tooold.

JordanRomerowas9whenheclimbedKilimanjaro.

ColonelSanderswas40beforehestartedcookinghisfamouschicken—outofhisdiningroom!And itwasn’tuntilhewas65 thathestartedfranchisingoneof theworld’smostfamousfastfoodrestaurants,KentuckyFriedChicken.

Youcanalwaysfindanexcuse,butyoucanalwaysfindaninspirationtoo.

Ifmancanlandonthemoon,there’snotmuchyoucan’tdoonceyou’vemadeyourmindupandmovedfromtalkingaboutittoactuallydoingit.

Soget.Acceptthefactthatyoumayhavemorechallengesthanmost.Ithappens.Butyouhavejustthesamechanceofsuccess.

Giveup theTV.Wakeupanhourearlier.Steal time fromwhereveryoucan.Enlist thehelpandsupportofallyourfamilyandfriends.Makeapubliccommitmenttoyourgoalsandnotonlywillitgiveyouanextraimpetustoachievethembutitalsogatherssupportandmomentumbehindyou.

AndasweexplainonPart6,holdingyourselfpubliclyaccountable isproven togreatlyincreaseyourchanceofsuccess.

Sokeepdigging,digging,digging,digging…



Anddigdeep.

Finalwordonfear

If you’re not feeling a little bit apprehensive about what you’re about to do then itprobablydoesn’tmattermuchanyway.

Youshouldbefeelinglikethis.

“Insideofaringorout,ain’tnothingwrongwithgoingdown.It’sstayingdownthat’swrong.”

MuhammadAli

Regret

Sinceyou’rethesortofpersonwhohaschosentoreadthisbookthenprobablythere’snotmuchneedtosaymoreaboutregret.You“get”it.Theutterhorrorofregretwillbecleartoyou.

Youcan’tchangethepast-oncethemomentisgoneandtheopportunityhaspassedbyandbeen squandered, if at that point, youdidn’t climb inside the ropeswell…thenyoudidn’t.

Toughluck,youhavetodealwithit.

Ontheotherhandifyoudidsurmountyourfearsandtrytotackleyouritchandthingsgotsmashedandspilledintheprocessthenyoucandealwiththeconsequencestoday.

Actionishowyouchangethings;fixthings;dothings.

“Act.Orbeactedupon.”



Anon

“Tofightfear,act.Toincreasefear–wait,putoff,postpone.”

DavidJosephSchwart

Here’sasimpleexampleofhowfearcanbeparalyzingandturnintoregret:

Anyone who has ever wanted to chat to a speaker after a conference, or chat up anattractivestrangeratapartywillknowthebestthingistoactimmediately.

And you’ll know that if you hang aroundwaiting then it gets harder and harder as theopportunity loses its momentum, the initiative evaporates, you get tongue-tied and youbegintoconsidertheotheroptionwhichisjusttoskipthewholeidea

andcarryonasyouwere.Thatbeginstoseemeasierandeasier.

Eventuallyyoutakethatoption.

Andwhatchanges?

Nothing.

Infactyoucankidyourselfathousandwaysthatyou’redoingwhenintruthyou’renot.

Butyouwillbefoundouteventually-whenyougetthepangofregretthatyouneverdidwhatyouwantedto.

Doingistheroutetofulfillment-atleastfulfillmentofthegoalsthatwillstopthatdamn



itching!

Sidestepregret:investyourselfindoingandfindtheroutetohappiness!

AstudybythepsychologistsLeafvanBovenandThomasGilovich10requiredparticipantsto:

a/ rate the happiness they received from experiences such as going to the theatre, thecinema,theskislopes,travelingandgoingouttodinner.

And

b/ratethehappinesstheygotfrombuyingthingslikeTVs,stereos,computers,clothesandjewellery.

Well,youknowwherethisisgoing:thedoingmadepeoplehappierthanthehaving.

Butwait,there’smore.

Itturnsoutthatevenwhenpeoplewereaskedtothinkofanexperience,theyfelthappierthanwhentheywereaskedtothinkabouthavingboughtsomething.

Nowimaginehowmuchgreaterthesatisfactionwouldbeiftheexperiencewassomethingthathadgreatpersonalvalue.

Ifithadbeenamission.Ifithadbeenthescratchingofalifelongitch!

…Oh,andinthewordsofSteveJobs:“Onemorething”:

Gilovichandco.alsofoundthatwhenpeoplelistenedtoonepersontalkaboutsomethingspecial they had done and another talk about something special they had bought, thepersonwhowaslikedthemostwouldbethedoernotthehaver.

Sonexttimeyou’repassingoneofSteveJobs’Applestoresorashoeshopandareabouttoburnupyourpreciouscash:thinktwice.TieyourselftothemastlikeOdysseusandfixyouraimonDOINGnotHAVING!!



Odysseus,themythologicaladventurer,wantedtohearthemesmerizingsongoftheSirens,theevilbird-womenwhohappenedtohaveachinglybeautifulvoices.

ButthiswassurelyasuicidewishbecausethesongoftheSirenswasinfamouslyirresistibleandhadluredcountlesssailorstotheirdeathsontherockyshoresoftheislandswheretheylived.

Butyoudon’tgettosackthecityofTroywithoutbeingapluckyandingeniouschap.AndOdysseuswasdeterminedtoheartheSirensongwithoutmeetinghismaker.Sohehadallthemenonhisboatblocktheirears(butnothis)withbeeswaxsotheycouldn’thearthesong.

Thenheorderedthemtotiehimtothemastandnottountiehimuntiltheyhadpassedbytheislands.

Andonceinrangehebeggedthementountiehimsohecouldgetclosertotheislandsandthemusic.The

mensteadfastlyrefuseduntiltheyhadlongsailedawayfromtheSirens.Andthushewasabletosurvivethetemptations.Andgoontodomoreheroicderring-do.

Sonexttimethesirensongofconsumerproductfetishismgrabsyou,youknowwhattodo.Fixyoureyesonthegoalandbepreparedtoresisttheinevitabletemptationstofalteralongtheway.



Theideathatgraffiti istheproductofwork-shylayaboutsisoutdated.Avastamountofthecynical“messages”contained instreetartwarnsusnot tobecoercedbyadvertisingintofindingourgoalsinconsumptionbutinsteadtogoandDO.

We’ve been trained by generations of Mad Men, marketers and advertisers to wantTHINGS.

Thisisbadcounsel.



Rebel.

InsteadDO.

InvestinDOING–learning,training,experimenting,writing,travelling,helping,buildingbusinesses,realizingdreams!

Before they were calledmarketers, thesemasters of manipulation were known asconsumptionengineers.11




PART4

START

“Youcan’texpecttohitthejackpotifyoudon’tputafewnickelsinthemachine.”

FlipWilson

IfthisbookweretheBiblethefirstcommandmentwouldbe:

Start.

Ifitwereacookerybookitwouldsay:

AddlotsandlotsofGotothemix.

Ifitwereacarmanualitwouldsay:

Thevehiclewon’tmoveuntilyouturntheignition.

Butit’snot.That’swhyitsays:

Don’tbeachicken.Theinstantyoucrossthatstartlineeverythingchanges.




Let’sRollIt’simpossibletooverstatetheimportanceofstarting.

Asit’s thebeallandendallof thisbookyoumightwonderwhywehaven’tgot tothispointuntilnow.MaybeitshouldhavebeenattheSTART?

That’safairquestion.Sohere’swhy:

Mostpeopledon’tstartuntiltheyrealize:

a/They’vegotanitch

b/ It’snatural and right tohave fearsyetunderstand that reasoncankeep these fears incheck

c/Everyonehastheirownuniquechallenges

d/They’drathertackletheirfearsthanliveforeternitywiththeregretoflosingtheirbottleandnotdoing

Thegoodnews is that themereactof starting iswhatmakes thingschange.Starting isitselfaguaranteeofsuccessbecauseitmeansyouarealreadysayingfarewelltothestatusquo.

…Andfinallyyouwillrecallthatwestartedthebookwithe/Therapidpassageoftime

Timeistheimperative.Thewhooshingbyoftime,liketheriseandfallofthesun,istheonecertainty.

Timeisyourspurtogetupandact.

Andthat’swhyyouhavetostartnow.

Climbintothering.

TheEliminationofProcrastination

Ofcourse,youfeeltheurgetoprocrastinate.That’sonlyhuman.

Yousee,scratchingtheitch—doinganythingworthwhile—takesaninvestmentintimeandeffortandtherewardsareinthefuture.

In themeantimeyourvicesareofferingyou immediateshort-termsatisfaction:putona



DVD,haveaglassofwine,listentosomemusic,surftheInternet,lieonthesofa,raidthefridge…dothemallatonce!

Thisbattlebetweenyourvicesandyourvirtueisasoldasthehillsandtheoutcomeisjustaspredictableunlessyouaredeterminedandsmart.

Tohelpyouconcentrateondoingand ignore the temptationsofprocrastinationhereare some tips fromProfessorPiersSteelwhostudiesprocrastinationattheUniversityofCalgary.12

Sully tempting alternatives: imagine as vividly as possible the downside ofbeingtemptedbydistraction.

Imagine the TV remote is tacky with the paw-prints of your permanently illyoung nieces; that the TV is wired badly and will explode if you switch onduring theday; that thedoor to the fridgewill fall off if youopen it asoftenduringthedayasyouusuallydo…Yougetthepicture.

Focus on the abstract aspects of temptations: triple chocolate cheesecake, forexample, can be construed as its constituent parts of fat and sugar…and thatdoesn’tsoundsoyummy.

Entirelyeliminatecuesthatremindyouofdistractingalternatives.Keepingyourworkplacefreeofclutterwillhelpyouaccomplishthis.

Replacetheclutterwithmeaningfulmessagesorimages.Thelegendaryhotelier



ConradHiltonkeptaphotographoftheWaldorfHotelonhisdesktohelphimmaintain his focus and avoid distraction and procrastination. The photo wastherefor18years…untilheboughtthehotel.

Trytophysicallycompartmentalizeyourworklifeandyourleisurebykeepingthem as far away as possible. If you work from home you need to mentallycompartmentalizetheactivities.

“Neverputofftilltomorrow,whatyoucandothedayaftertomorrow.”

MarkTwain

…It’samusingbutasadvicegoesit’snotgreat



“Thesecretofgettingaheadisgettingstarted.Thesecretofgettingstartedisbreakingyourcomplexoverwhelmingtasksintosmallmanageabletasks,andthen

startingonthefirstone.”

MarkTwain

…Notsoamusingbutgreatadvice

Yourinternalnaggingfriend

Here’ssomegoodnews.

Onceyoustartsomethingthesubconsciousbrainwon’tletyoustop.Soyou’llhaveyourowninternalslave-driverwhippingyouon.

It’scalledtheZeigarnik13effect.ARussianpsychologist,BlumaZeigarnik,wasintriguedto learn that waiters could take complicated orders from a large group of students andrememberthemperfectlywithoutwritingthemdown.

But as soon as the bill had been paidwaiters’memories ofwhat had been ordered fellapart.

Itwasasiftheorderwasputintothementaltrashcan.

Herconclusionwasthatonceaprojecthadbeensetrunningthesubconsciouswaskeepingconstanttrackofitandwouldbadgerthewaitertomakesureitgotcompleted.Itwasasifanyinterruptiontoataskbecomesapsychicdisturbancethatunsettlesthebrain.

Whatthismeansisthatsimplybystartingandcommittingtoyourprojectyougetalittlehelp—intheformofyoursubconscious—tonagyouandensureyouget“closure”inpsychological terms. In our terms it’s ensuring you do the next big thing. Which isfinishingthetask!

That’sonetotakeaway.



Some of the brightest and most successful people in business have tried this test. It’scalledtheMarshmallowChallenge.14

Thisishowitgoes:

Youworkinteamsoffour.

Eachteamisgiven20sticksofspaghetti,ayardoftapeandayardofstring.



Andamarshmallow.

Each teamhas18minutes tobuild the tallest structure theycan.Themarshmallowmustbeonthetop.

Simple,right?

The challenge was devised by designer Peter Skillman and it has since been used byinnovation expert Tom Wujec in his studies of how senior executives collaborate andinnovate.

Butwhat’s interestingtowedoers, iswhat theexperimenthas tosayabout thevalueofstarting.

Q:WhodidWujecfindwereamongtheworstperforming

groupsofpeople?A: Recent graduates of business school. Only slightly better were CEOs of largeorganizations.

Q:Whichgroupofpeoplewereamongthetopperformers?

A:Kindergartenkids.TheirspaghettiandmarshmallowstructuresaveragedalmostthreetimestheheightoftheMBAgrads.

Thereasonthekidssucceededwhiletheirolderandmoreeducatedrivalsfailedwastheyjust kept doing. The MBA grads discussed plans and roles and responsibilities andpostured(andmaybewroteamissionstatement,whoknows?)andthenfinally,astimeranout,scrambledtobuildatowerofspaghettiandplaceamarshmallowontoponlytofindat the last minute — ta-dah! — that the weight of the marshmallow collapsed thestructure.

Meanwhile, the kids — being kids — just went right ahead and got practical. Whichmeans they simply started trying to build a structure right from the whistle and prettyquickly foundoutwhatworked anddidn’twork.No fear of failure.Nohesitation. Justdoing.

Theprofessionalshaveawordforit

Whatthekidsweredoinginthemarshmallowchallengewas“rapidprototyping”.

Andwhat’sgoodenoughforkidswithmarshmallowsisgoodenoughforbigbusiness.



It’s a similar approach to that which has been widely adopted for many software andinternetdevelopmentprojects.It’scalledLEANdevelopment.

Teamsofsoftwaredevelopersusedtospendyearslockedinabunkerwritingcodesothatone fine day they could come blinking into the sunlight and announce to the world:“Come, see!Here’sournewcomputerprogram!”Atwhichpoint theymightdiscoveraflawintheuserexperienceoraslewofbugs.Dang!

Nowadays,teamstrytogetnewversionsofcodewritteneveryweekoreveneveryday.That’s how they discover problems faster. And it’s how they steal the competitiveadvantageovertheirrivals.

Theystartdoingandmovetheirideasfromthehypotheticaltotherealasfastaspossible.

Theymovefromthestationary talkingposition to thedynamicactionposition.Nofear.Noregrets.

Andimportantlytheymoveclosertosuccesswitheveryiteration.

Thehistoryofaccidentalsuccess

Whenyoustartyoudon’tknowwhereyou’llfinish.Youcouldcallthat“risk”.

Thisuncertaintyofoutcomeisoneofthereasonssomepeoplegetparalyzedbyfearatthethoughtofmovingfromthetalkingstatetothedoingstate.

Butperhapsitdoesn’tmatterwhetheryougetdirectfromAtoZ.

ItmightbethatendingupatFisstillagreatresult.

History is, after all, littered with great tales of people who began one thing only todiscover another great thing, which they would never have done otherwise. And inretrospectitdoesn’tseemlikeafailure.

Infactwhatittellsusisthatthethingissimplytostart.

Coca-Colawasoriginallydevelopedas amedicine thatpromised to cureanything fromhysteriatoheadaches.

In 1968 the scientist Dr. Spencer Silver at 3M figured he had discovered something oflittleworth until one of his colleagues said he found the “low tack” adhesive useful tobookmarkhisBible.ShortlyaftertheubiquitousPost-Itnotewasborn.

The short distance between the Atlantic and the Pacific oceans was accidentallydiscoveredbySpanishconquistadorssearchingforgold.15Nowithasbeendevelopedinto



thePanamaCanalwhichreducesaboattripfromNewYorktoSanFranciscofrom14,000milesto5,900miles.

Themulti-platinumsellingmusicianJackJohnsonwanted tobeaprofessionalsurfer. Infacthewasaverygoodsurfer,butatjust17,anaccidentputanendtohisdreamsandhisfuturenolongerlookedsocertain.Stillunsureofwhattodo,hewenttofilmschoolanditwastherethathestartedplayingmusicandsoonrealizedhewasanevenbetterguitaristthansurfer.Andtherest,astheysay,ishistory.

TocelebratetheWorldFaircomingtoParisin1887–9architectswereinvitedtobuildatemporarystructure.Thecompetitionrulesrequiredthat thewinningstructureshouldbeeasilydismantledafter20years.Nevertheless,theEiffelTowerisstillstandingover120yearsafterwinningthecontest.MorerecentlytheLondonEye,theenormousferriswheelon the south bank of London’s River Thames, was constructed to be a temporarycelebrationofthe2000millennium,andthistooisstillaround.Thekeythingofcourseisthatpeoplewithdriveandvisiongotthemstarted.

HarrisonFord,anactorwhosecareerwasstalling,retrainedasacarpenterandgotajobbuildingcabinetsatthehomeofGeorgeLucas.Whereasstayingputtryingtogetactingjobsdidn’tworkforhim,strikingoutinanewdirectiondid.Lucasgothimtoreadsomelines for actors auditioning for parts in his 1977 filmStarWars. The carpenter and ex-actorconvincedLucastogivehimthekeyroleofHanSoloandasuperstarwasborn.

Thesolaceoffailure

Supposeyouwantedtobethechefwhostartedsomethinglikethis:

Andtodoityouquityourjobhere:



Butitdidn’tworkout.

Andinsteadofdoing:

…youownthisshackandworkhardsevendaysaweek:

Thendidyoufail?Well,itdepends.Noneoftheseoutcomesisnecessarilyafailure(orasuccess).They’rejustdifferentanswerstothequestion:Wheredoyouwantbe?

Butifyoudidn’tlikewhereyouweretobeginwiththentheactofpursuingyourdreammeanswhereveryouendup,itwillbesomewheredifferent.Fallingshortofyourtargetorchangingdirectioncanstillbeasuccess.

Howtosurprisesomeone

Dowhatyousay.

Seriously.Wearesousedtopeoplepromisingtheearthanddeliveringaflopthattheonesurewaytosurpriseanddelightsomeoneissimplytodowhatyousayyouwillwhenyousayyouwill.



Andthepersonyouwillpleasethemostwillbeyou.



…aboutthatstinginthetail

Ifhavingconsideredalloftheabove:

Thatistosay,thatknowingasyoudo,thattheworstthingofallistoregretthethingsyoushouldhavedone…butyou’restillhesitating, thenallowusremindyouof thespeedingclock.

TickTock

Timespeakssoftlybutcarriesabigstick.




PART5

THEARTOFDECISION-MAKING

“Indecisionbecomesdecisionwithtime.”

Anon

“You’vegotalotofchoices.Ifgettingoutofbedinthemorningisachoreandyou’re

notsmilingonaregularbasis,tryanotherchoice.”

StevenD.Woodhull

There’sanaturalorderofthings.Itgoeslikethis:

Decide.Thenact.




Doingcomesafteradecision.Andlikeitornotyouareabouttomakeadecision.

Witheveryforceofreasonandemotionandthejoyoflifeyouareabouttodecidetoscratchyourdamnitch.

Butifyouchoosetoputoffmakingadecisionyouarestillmakingadecision.Bymakingnodecision,youaremakingadecision.Andbydefaultthepathyouchooseisnottochangethings.

Notbeingdecisiveonthismattermeansyouarechoosingtostandoutsidetheropesandbeabystanderofyourownlife.

Thedecision-makingmuscleThedecision-makingmuscleislikeanyother,themoredecisionsyoumake,thestrongerand better it gets. Sure it may seem easier to sit on the fence and “hope” things willchange.Theymight,thenagain,theymightgetworse.

But if you are flexing your decision-making muscle, analyzing your options, thinkingcreativelyaboutthewayforwardthenyouareinthedrivingseat.Andevenif(orlet’sfaceit,when)youoccasionallymake thewrongdecision,you’llachievefarmore than thosewhodon’t.

Makeadecision.Thenactonit.

Voila!Youhavepropulsion.

“Whenyouhavetomakeachoiceanddon’tmakeit,thatisinitselfachoice.”

WilliamJames

Theseductionofresearch

Contemplation.Research.Analysis.Consideration.Evaluation…Paralysis.

Aren’ttherejustamillionwonderfulwaystoputoffmakingadecision?

Thisdangerof“drift”hasbeenaroundsinceStoneAgemaninventednavel-gazingbut,aswe said in Part 1, the Internet has multiplied these possibilities endlessly. That’s whatmakesactionmoreurgentnowthaneverbefore.

There’ssuchvolumeandmassofinformationandopinionatourfingertipsthathundredsof millions of us are hooked on the idle “activity’ of finding out more information; onseekingevermorefascinatingandentertaining“research”.



TheauthorNicholasCarr,whowroteTheShallows:WhatTheInternet isDoingToOurBrains, warned that tools like email caused people to become addicted to “mindlesslypressing levers in the hope of receiving a pellet of social or intellectualnourishment’.16

It’sfunbutitgetsyounowhere.Fast.

DeepBluewasthebrainchildofIBMboffinswhowantedtodevelopacomputerthatcouldbeatthebestchessplayersintheworld.TodothisDeepBluewasbuilttowinthroughsheerbrutecomputingpower:itcouldevaluate200millionpositionspersecond. Itplayedagainst the reigningchampion in1997,GarryKasparov.Andcontroversially the computerwon,withKasparovclaiming thathe sawdeep intelligenceandcreativity in theplayofDeepBluewhich suggested tohim that therehadbeenhuman interventionduringthegames.

ThiswasdeniedbyIBMandisstillshroudedincontroversy.Inanyevent,youaren’tacomputerandyoucan’tanalyze200millionpositionspersecond.



Sodon’tbothertrying.Butthenagainacomputernevergetstobuildaspaghettitowerwithamarshmallowontop.Andifitevergetsanitchitcan’tscratchit.

Onlyyoucandecidetodothat.

Now.

Howlosingyourselfintheflowcanhelpyourdecision-making

Wealth,asPresidentRichardNixonwarnedinapreviousquotation,willnotnecessarilymakeyouhappy.

And youmay recall thatAbrahamMaslowwith his “Hierarchy ofHumanNeeds” saidwhatmakesyouhappyisfulfillingyourpotentialthroughtheactofdoingsomethingwithpurposeorpersonalmeaning.

Inotherwords:

Doing+Meaning=Happiness

ButwecandevelopthisideaofhowDoingmakesyouHappyevenfurther.Andthismayhelpyouensureyouaregoingtomaketherightdecisions.

Becauseitturnsoutthatthestateof“doing”thatmakesyouhappiestistheonewhenyoudon’teventhinkaboutthefactyouare“doing”.

By studying people who love doing what they do, the psychologist MihalyCsikszentmihalyi18 found that time really flieswhen you are so absorbed in an activitythat you lose yourself. Singers, actors, athletes and painters (and no doubt windowcleanersalso)describethisasbeing“inthezone”.

Csikszentmihalyicallsthisstateofbeing:Flow

FLOW is a state you can only reach through doing something challenging. When youcomeuponthishappystateyouaresoabsorbedinwhatyouaredoingthatactuallyyoudonotevennoticethepassageoftime,howtiredyouareorevenifyou’rehungry.

You can’t notice these things because you are totally focused on using your skills andexperiencetoaccomplishwhateveritisyouare“doing”.

Yourgreycellsaresimplytoobusytonoticeit’sdinnertime!



Andthereasonforthatisbecausewhatyouaredoingisaboveaveragelychallenging.

Theadditiontothemix,then,isthattheactivityischallenging(butnottoochallenging)anddemandsyoutodevelopaskillorabilityinwhateveritisyoudo.

Sonowwecanreviseourformulatothis:

Doing+Meaning+Skill=Flow

Your nervous system can process 110 bits of information per second, saysCsikszentmihalyi.

Listeningandconcentratingonwhatsomeoneissayingtakesabout6obitspersecond.Ifyouractivity issochallengingandfulfilling that it isdemandingupwardsof8obitspersecondthenyouhaveincreasinglylesscapacitytoprocessmessagesfromyourbodylike:Ineedthetoiletandyoumayfailtonoticeyouaresittinginafunnypositionandyourleghas just gone numb!Next time your leg goes numb and you fall overwhen you try tostandupitmayjustbethatyouhavefoundyourstateofflow.

TheFlow

You are in flowwhenyou are engaged in the “optimal challenge”.Thismeansyou areusinghigherthanaverageskillstodosomethingwhichismoredifficultthanaverage.

In his research Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi finds that flow is experienced by 15-20% ofpeopleeverydaywhile15%ofpeoplesaytheyneverexperienceit.

Inthestateofflowyouexperience:

1. Totalabsorptionintheactivity



2. Lossoftimeawareness

3. Lossofself-awareness

Thesortofactivitythatprovidesthisfeelinghasthesecomponents:

1. Cleargoals

2. Matchesaboveaveragechallengeswithaboveaverageskills

3. Provides instant feedback as you go so that you know whether you areperformingwellorneedtomakeadjustments

4. Personalcontrol—youhaveadirectinfluenceontheoutcomeoftheactivity

5. Ahighdegreeofconcentrationisrequired

As you make decisions about what you are setting out to do and how — check that itmeetsthesecriteria.

“Itdoesnotseemtobetruethatworknecessarilyneedstobeunpleasant.Itmayalwayshavetobehard,oratleastharderthandoingnothingatall.Butthereisampleevidencethatworkcanbeenjoyable,andthatindeed,itisoftenthemost

enjoyablepartoflife.”

MihalyCsikszentmihalyi

Flow:ThePsychologyofOptimalExperience

Whatyououghttoknowaboutthesurprisinglives

ofmaximizersandsatisficers…Oneofthemanywayspsychologistsdefineandsegmentpeopleisbywhethertheywant“onlythebest”(inwhichcasetheyaremaximizers)orwhethertheywillsettlefor“goodenough”(inwhichcasetheyaresatisficers).

As you consider your next step it might be helpful to know that satisficers tend to behappier with their decision-making than maximizers…even though maximizers do



“better’.

Takeforexamplesomeonewhogetsbackfromwork,fallsbackintotheirsofaandstartssurfingTVchannelstofindsomethingtowatch.

Amaximizerwillsurfthroughhundredsofchannels—everythingavailable—inordertofindthedefinitive“best”channeltowatch.

Meanwhileasatisficerwilllookforthefirstprogrammethatis“goodenough”.

Bythetimethemaximizerhasfoundthe“best”programmeitisprobablyfinishedoritis2amandit’stimetohitthesack.

Theironlycomfortisthattheywereprettysurewhatthebestprogrammewouldhavebeen…oh,ifonlytheyhadwatchedit.

“Ithasbeensaidthatmanisarationalanimal.AllmylifeIhavebeensearchingforevidencewhichcouldsupportthis.”

BertrandRussell

Meanwhile a satisficerwillwatch thewhole “good enough” programme and go to bedhappythattheywatchedsomethingpleasurable.

This might be ringing bells. Maybe you know people with a maximizing tendency.Perhapsyourecognizeitinthebehaviouroffriendswhoareseekingaromanticmatch,orevensomethingastrivialassomeonesqueezingeverysingleavocadoatthegrocers.

Butwhatdoesthismeanwhenyoutransferthismaximizing/sufficingtendencyfromtheidle world of TV watching to making the most important decisions in your life - likechoosinganddevelopingacareer…

Theimpossibilityofchoosingtheperfectjob

Sheena Iyengar’19 (who carried out the jam experiment referred to earlier) andpsychologists, Rachael Wells and Barry Schwartz investigated how maximizers andsatisficersgotonwith jobhuntingwhen theygraduated fromcollegeandhow they feltabouttheirsubsequentcareers.Theyfoundthat:

Duringtheprocessofresearchingjobsmaximizers

appliedformorejobsthansatisficers.

Whentheyhadreceivedjoboffersmaximizers



fantasizedaboutjobstheywerenotevenpursuing.

Andoncetheyhadacceptedajobmaximizers

wishedtheyhadpursuedmoreoptions.

Theyalsofoundthatmaximizershadstarting

salarieswhichwere20%higherthansatisficers.

But despite doing better financially, they felt worse about their situation and felt more“pessimistic,stressed,tired,anxious,worried,overwhelmedanddepressed”.

The scientists conclude that the search for the “best” solution is a route to guaranteeddisappointment.Thebest solution is alwayselusive.Asmanyofusknow- thegrass isalwaysgreenerinyourheadthanthegrassyouarestandingon!

Inotherwordsyouneedtomarryyourambitionwithpragmatism.Makeadecisionthatyoucanstickwithandthenthrowyourselfbehindthatdecision.

As the brilliant mathematician, philosopher, libertarian, campaigner for women’s rights and thecontroversialfounderoftheCampaignforNuclearDisarmamentBertrandRussellsaid-intypicallypreciselanguage:

“Whenadifficultorworryingdecisionhas tobe reached, as soonas all thedata are available,give thematteryourbestthoughtandmakeyourdecision;havingmadethedecision,donotreviseitunlesssomenewfactcomestoyourknowledge.Nothingissoexhaustingasindecision,andnothingissofutile.”




Part6

…ANDACTION

“Wait!”

WinniethePooh

“Howdoyoueatanelephant?Onebiteatatime.”

Awell-usedsaying

Here

Thisisthecalmbeforethestorm.

Justbeforerampagingintotheworldofdoing-pauseandtakeabreath-becausealittlebitofplanningiscalledforrightnow.

And,onceequippedwithacunningplan,itwillpaydividendstoinvestigatejustwhichactionsandhabitswillhelpyouactualizetheplanandwhichofthemarejustholdingyouback.

Abitofplanning




Willpoweralonewillnotgetyoutowhereveryouwanttobe.

You need a plan. Without planning the ascent on your personal Mount Everest yourchancesofsuccessarelittlebetterthantheyareofwinningthelottery.

Makingtherightplanstartswithdefiningtherightgoals.

What’syourgoal?

Butwait,youmaybethinking,we’vecoveredthisalready,surely?

Thegoalistheitch?

Well,yesandno.

Setting a goal for the plan is about setting a goal that is reasonable and achievable. Inotherwordsithastobepractical.Youritchmightbetobeaworldfamousclimber,torunyourownbusiness,totraveltheworld,tomakeart.Buttomakethisarealityweneedtogetdowntomeasurablespecifics—tosetupanorganicfarmshopinninemonths’time;topurchasearound-the-worldticketbyChristmas;toputonasummershowofyourbesttopaintings.



TheproblemwithfantasygoalsKeep a wary eye out for inappropriate goals. One trap that talkers fall into is todeliberately set a goal that is either impossible or such a long shot that it just aboutguaranteesfailure.

Whichraisesthequestion:Whywouldtheydothat?

Well, it turnsout that thepeoplewhochoosesuchfantasygoalsare thosewhoaremostparalyzedbythefearoffailure.

Andthereasontheychoosegoals thatareself-evidentlydoomedtofail is that theypre-empt the fear of failure. The failure is already accepted. In this way, what they do byannouncingtheyarepursuingagoal thatneither theynoranyoneelsebelievestheywillachieve,istoliberatethemselvesfromfailing.

Alas,thegoalthenlivesintheworldoffantasyandthetalkerisneverheldtoaccountbyreallife.

Infacttheyarefreedfromtheburdenofreallystarting.

TheSMARTwaytosetgoalswasdevelopedbythewriterPaul

J.Meyer20.Thisprovidesaframeworktosetagoalthatyoucanachieve.

Itisdescribedbyanotherwriter,RobertKelsey,21likethis:

Specific(not“loseweight”but“lose10pounds”)

Measurable(“lose10poundsbyJune”)

Achievable(i.e.withintheboundsofpossibility–traveltoMars,forinstance,maybeafewgenerationshence)

Realistic(maybeahalfmarathonismorerealisticthisyear,withafullmarathonnextyear)

Timed(“June”itis)

Settingareal,achievable,measurablegoalisthencritical:



GoalodicyMeasureyourgoalforanysymptomsofgoalodicy(“thepursuitofidioticgoals”).

Ifyousufferfromgoalodicythenyouwillfindyourselfsoobsessedbythefuturegoalthatyou ignore the practical realities of your situation. In fact you will think that in somemagicalwaytheachievementofthegoalinthefuturewillsaveyoufromallthedifficultwork,sacrificesandchoicesyoureallyneedtomakealongtheway.

Thissuspensionofrealityleadstorecklessbehaviour;youcanbecomesoobsessedbythegoal thatyou takeunethical financial risks,dangerouspersonal risksorevensay,putatriskthesecurityofyourfamily.

Inotherwordsyouareherebywarnedtokeepyourfeetplantedonthegroundatthesametimeasyourambitionsoars.

ThephenomenonofgoalodicywasdescribedbyD.ChristopherKayes22whostudiedthedisastrous 1996 Everest Expedition in which amateur climbers paid huge sums toprofessionalclimberstotakethemtothesummitoftheworld’shighestmountain.

As the conditions of the climb changed the climbers ignored their experience andexpertise, says Kayes, because of their single-minded focus on reaching the summit.Normallytheywouldhavetakenadifferentcourseofactionandretreated.

Butintheirdeterminationtoreachthesummittheyignoredtheirrealitiesandtheexpeditionculminatedineightdeathsandmanylife-longanddisfiguringinjuriesforothersurvivors.

Kayes’ssixcharacteristicsofgoalodicyarewellsummedupbyKelsey:

Anarrowlydefinedgoal(togettothesummit)



Publicexpectation(thesewereambitiouspeople—includingacelebritywriter—concernedabouthowtheywereperceivedbothwithinandbeyondthegroup)

Face-savingbehaviour(fromboththeclimbersandtheleaderswhomighthaveignoreddangersignalsinordertomaintaintheircredibility)

Adreamofanidealizedfuture(ofconqueringEverest)

Goal-driven justification (if the goal becomes “everything” it can be used tojustifyirrationaldecisionsthatmaybedangerous)

Asenseofdestiny

Isthisringinganybells?

“Adreamisyourcreativevisionforyourlifeinthefuture.Agoaliswhatspecifically

youintendtomakehappen.

Dreamsandgoalsshouldbejustoutofyourpresentreachbutnotoutofsight.Dreamsandgoalsarecomingattractionsinyourlife”.

JosephCampbell

Planning

Havingsuccessfullydefinedthegoalweneedaplan.Theplanwill

i)breakdownthejourneyintobite-sizeachievablepartsand

ii)provideacriticalpath.

Chunkitdown

This is critical. Viewed in its entirety the journey from talking to doing can appear sooverwhelmingthatitisparalyzing.

Byexaminingtheconstituentpartsofthewholetheprojectbecomeslessintimidating;itallowsyoutofocusyourenergyontherightelementsandtodoitintherightorder.

Forexample losing2poundsamonthsounds farmore focused than losing2stone ina



year.Itallowsyoutomeasureyourprogress,rewardyourprogressandreacttochangesasyourplanbumpsintoreallife.

Andyoucanbesurethatwhateveryourplanisitwillbesorelytestedassoonasitfacestheinterventionofreallife.

Astheimpressivelynamed19th-centuryFieldMarshalHelmuthvonMoltketheElderofthePrussianArmysaid:

“Noplansurvivescontactwiththeenemy.”

This isn’t to say that there’s no point having a plan but that your planmay have to beadaptedfromtimetotimeonceyoustartimplementingit.

“TheolderIgetthemorewisdomIfindintheancientruleoftakingfirstthingsfirst.Aprocesswhichoftenreducesthemostcomplexhumanproblemtoamanageable

proportion.”

DwightD.Eisenhower

TheCriticalPath

Thisisaprojectmanagementtermusedinbusinesstodescribethesequenceofeventsthatateammustfollowinordertodeliveragoalinacertaintime.Ifoneeventisdelayedbyaday,thewholeprojectwillbedelayedbyaday.

Forourpurposesthecriticalpathsimplymeansyouneedtoworkoutinwhatorderyourchunksofworkhavetobecompletedtogettheresultyouwant.



Sowhatdoesthislooklike?Well,let’stakesettingupabusinessasanexample.Whatarethestepsthatyouwouldneedto

take and inwhat order to give yourself the greatest chance of success?One thing’s forsure,don’tjumpshipuntilyouhavea“criticalpath”inplace!

Let’ssayyouwanttoopenupanorganiccafe,butyou’recurrentlyworkingin,say,HR.Your“criticalpath”wouldbeginwithresearchandplanning-allofwhichwillbedoneinyour“sparetime”andhere’swhatthatpathmightlooklike:

Pathtoasuccessfulorganiccafe

Location:whereareyougoing toopenup thisorganiccafe?Acitycentrewillbea lotmoreexpensivethanbythecoast.Soisthispartofawholelifechangeorjustabusinessone?

Cost:howmuch is itgoing tocostyou?Areyou leasingorbuying thepremises?Howmanystaffwillyouneed?Willyouneedtoinvestinequipmentorfurniture?Howmuchstockwillyouneedtobuy?Howmuchareyougoingtochargeforyourfood?Whatprofitmarginswillyouneedtomakeaprofit?Etc.etc.

Business plan: once you have a good idea of costs, you can start on a business plan.Withoutonewouldbelikecrossingtheseaswithoutacompass.Notaverycleveridea.

Raisemoney:nowyou’vedecidedona location,havefiguredouthowmuch itwillallcostyou,howtomakeaprofitandhowmuchcashreservesyouneedtogetthere…youneed to figureoutwhereyouaregoing toget that cash from.Youmight choose touseyoursavingsordrawdownequityfromyourhome.Youmaydownsizeortakeoutaloan.Youmayevendoacombinationofalltheabove.

Jump:onceyou’vegotyourfinanceinplace,you’rereadyto…jump!

Whatifyou’renotstartingabusiness?

Well, the same rules apply whether you are relocating to the coast, changing careers,runningamarathonorlosingadresssize.

Simplyput,youneedtoknowthestepsyouneedtotakeandinwhatordertotaketheminordertogetthere.

Onceyou’vegotthat,yourchancesofsuccessincreaseexponentially.

Thingstohelpyouonyourjourneyandthingsto



trashNowthatyouaremovingdeepintothelandofdoingyoushoulduseeverytoolyoucantoensureyousticktothecourse…andbecarefulnottorelyonthoughtsandactivitieswhichuseupenergyanddonothelp.

Fortunately we can benefit from the study of 5000 people worldwide by RichardWiseman,Britain’sonlyProfessorforthePublicUnderstandingofPsychology.

The author of the highly recommended book, 59 Seconds23, found five steps that helpmaintainmotivationthroughoutthecourseofaproject…andfivethatdon’t…

Fiveactionsthathelp

Alltheseactionswillhaveapsychologicalbenefitandareproventohelpyouscratchyouritch.

1.Publiccommitment

Tell people close to you, friends, family, work colleagues, about your plan andcommittothemthatyouwillseeitthrough.Humanbeingsarefarmorelikelytoseeaprojectthroughiftheyhavemadetheirambitionpublic.Andofcourseyou’llonlyget support in the difficult times from people who know about the battle you arewaging.

2.Stepbystep

Chunktheworkintopiecesasdiscussed.Bymakingtheworkmanageableandbite-sizedyoureducethechancesofbeingover-awedandincreasetheopportunitiesformicrosuccessesalongtheway.

3.Rewardsalongthecriticalpath

And as you achieve each success along the way—celebrate! Have a sweet (unlessweightlossisyouritch!);buyflowers;playsomemusic;haveanightoff.Whateverseemsappropriate.

4.Writingarecord

Markingyourprogress in a physicalwayhelps.Writing adiary, drawing charts ofyourjourney,drawingpictures…allthesethingshelpmaketheprocessreal;remindyouofwhatyouhaveachievedandkeepsyoufocusedonthenextstep.

5.Doitfortherightreasons

Remindingyourselfofthepositivereasonswhyyouareworkinghardtowardsyourgoalwillhelpkeepyouoncourse.Whetheritistheclothesyoucanwearhavinglostweightor thedecisionsyouwillmakeonceyoubecomeyourownboss—thinkingaboutthishelps.



Fiveactionsthatdon’thelpTheseactionsareneutral.Atbest.Sincetheydon’thelp;don’twasteyourenergyonthem.

1.Motivatingyourselfbyhero-worshippingsomeone

AsWisemanwrotein59Secondsabouttheparticipantsinhisresearch:“[Peoplewhoput] apictureofElleMacphersonorRichardBransonon their fridgedoordidnottendtodropthatall-importantclothingsizeorachievetheirbusinessambitions.”

2.Doingitforthewrongreasons-thinkingaboutfailureorhowyouhatewhatyou’redoing

Tryingtomotivateyourselfbythinkingabouthowmiserableyouarebecauseoftheunscratched itch, or how terrible youwill feel if you fail,will notwork.Negativethinkingsuchasthiswillnothelpyoufocusyourenergyanddisciplineonthegoalsyouhaveset.

3.Suppressingunhelpfulthoughts

Youcan’tdietbyrefusingtothinkaboutcreamcakes.Themoreenergyyouputintonotthinkingaboutsomethingthemoreenergyyousendinthatdirection.Don’tthinkaboutapinkelephantfortominutes…gotit?

4.Fantasizingaboutscratchingtheitch

Thosewhodaydreamabouthowfabulouslifewillbeoncetheyachievetheirgoalarelesslikelytogetthere.Becausetheyarefocusedonhavingachievedsuccessandnotabout theprocessofgetting to success theyareunprepared forbumpsandhiccupsalongtheway.Theyareprobablyalsomorelikelytobe

disappointedbythedistancebetweenwheretheyare todayandwheretheywant tobe.The lesson is thatwhile it’s nice to fantasize about the goal - itwon’t get youthere!

5.Relyingonwillpoweralone

Willpowerisn’taplanandisn’tasupportstructure.It’simportantbutitdoesn’tgetyouthewholewaythereandtrustingtoitalonewillleadtodisappointment.

[Source:59Seconds,ProfessorRichardWiseman,PanMacmillan,2009]

Thefutilityofusingwillpoweraloneasawaytoachieveevenashort-termgoalwasdemonstratedonceagainbypsychologistsinpossessionofmarshmallows!

The researchers told a groupof four-year-old children, in individual tests, that theywould receive extramarshmallowsiftheycouldrestrainthemselvesfromeatingasinglemarshmallowleftonatablewhentheresearcherleftthemaloneinaroomforupto20minutes.Thekidswhostaredgrimfacedanddeterminedatthemarshmallowandtriedtogetthroughthistimeperiodthroughsheerwillpowerfailed.

Thosewhomade it focused their energyonHOWtheywouldget through theperiod—theysangsongs,covered their eyesorwalkedaround the room.Manyyears later researchers trackeddown thekids—bythen adolescents. Those who had lasted the 20-minute trial and demonstrated their ability to “delaygratification”andcontroltheirimpulseshadachievedhappierlivesasmeasuredbybeingpsychologically



betteradjustedandscoringsignificantlyhigherintheirUShighschoolScholasticAptitudeTests.24

Thiswon’twork.

Apersonalslogan

Yes–listenup,cynics–youneedoneofthese.

Aslogan.Amantra.Adevicetohelpyougetintothepositivehabitsthatwillhelppropelyoutowardcontinueddoing.

Anditalsoservesasathumpinggreatmalletwithwhichtobonkyourselfontheheadifyoustartslippingbackintothenoisyanddirectionlessworldoftalking.

Sochooseaslogan.Makeoneup.Whateverworksforyou.

Let’ssayit’s“TALKISCHEAP”–stickittoyourbathroommirror,yourdesklamp,yourfridge–whereveryouneedit.

Ormakeitthewallpaperonyourcomputeroryourphone.



Nowwhat?

Nowyougrablifebythecollar,shakeit,shapeitandownit.

Youknowyouritch.Youhavetranslateditintoanachievableandmeasurablegoal.



Youknowyourselfsoyouknowwhetheryouwillcommittomakingthischangeareality.

Youknowyouneedaplan.

Youknowwhatwillhelpyouandwhatwon’t.

Youknowregretweighsmoreheavilythanfear.

Youknowforcertainthattheclockisremorselesslyticking.

Youknowthatthestinginlife’stailishowfastitfliesbywhileyou’reworkingoutwhat’simportantandwhatisn’t.

…Andnowitsdowntoyou.

AstheTibetanLamasaidinthestoryonthesecondpage:

“Thepoint is that if youdon’tput thebig rocks in first you’ll neverget them in at all.Whatareyourprioritiesinlife?”

Everyonehas unique challenges.Youhave to faceyour owndemons anddealwith thechallengesofyourpersonalcircumstances.

Maybe your best path is to wait tables at night, live with your parents, and save yourmoneytogotravellingorrunyourfreelancegraphicdesignbusinessduringtheday.

Perhapsyou’retooold,tooproud,tooalienated,havekids,orlivetoofarawayforthat.Thenthisisyourrealityandyouneedtomakeaplanthatworkswithit.

Maybeyourecognizethatyouritchistoexpressyourselfmakingartofsomekind.Then



youmightquestionwhetheryoushouldkeepyourdayjobandfindthecomfortthatyoucaninknowingthatyoursub-optimaljobaffordsyouthemoneyandtheenergytomakeartintheevenings.

The scenarios are as endless as grains of sand and they are almost as plentiful as theexcusespeoplecreatefornotmakingtheirdreamsreal.

Ifyouaregoingtodoitthenbynowyouknowit.

Start.



Accreditations

1.TheArtofLookingSideways,AlanFletcher,Phaidon,2001

2.Tribes,SethGodin,PiatkusBooks,2008

3.Drive,DanielH.Pink,CanonGate,2011

4.Creating aWorld without Poverty— Social Business and the Future of Capitalism,MuhammadYunus,PublicAffairs,2009

5. “How many people have ever lived on Earth” by Carl Haub, Population ReferenceBureau

6.“ThinkTank:Everfeltlikeyourjobisn’twhatyouwereborntodo?You’renotalone”byDanielPinkinTheSundayTelegraph,26February2011

7.ATheoryofHumanMotivation,AbrahamMaslow,PsychologicalReview,1943

8.TheConquestofHappiness,BertrandRussell,GeorgeAllen&Unwin,1930

9. The Spotlight Effect in Social Judgement: An Egocentric Bias in Estimates of theSalienceofOne’sOwnActionsandAppearance,ThomasGilovichofCornellUniversity,VictoriaHustedMedvec ofNorthwesternUniversity andKenneth Savitsky ofWilliamsCollege

10.“ToDoorToHave?ThatistheQuestion”,LeafvanBovenatUniversityofColoradoatBoulderandThomasGilovichofCornellUniversity,JournalofPersonalityandSocialPsychology,2003

11.TheCaseforWorkingWithYourHands,MatthewCrawford,Penguin,2010

12.TheProcrastinationEquation,PiersSteel,PrenticeHall,2010

13. “On finished and unfinished tasks.” by Bluma Zeigarnik, in W.D. Ellis (Ed.), ASourcebookofGestaltPsychology,HumanitiesPress,1938

14.Themarshmallowchallenge,www.marshmallowchallenge.com

15.Obliquity,JohnKay,ProfileBooks,2011

16.NicholasCarrinaninterviewwithEsquiremagazinein2010

17.“Whenchoiceisdemotivating.Canonedesiretoomuchofagoodthing?”SheenaS.



http://www.marshmallowchallenge.com

IyengarofColumbiaUniversityandMarkR.LepperofStanfordUniversity,JournalofPersonalityandSocialPsychology,79(6),December2000

18. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi,HarperPerennial,1991

19.“DoingBetterbutfeelingworse:Lookingforthe‚Best’jobunderminesSatisfaction,”SheenaS. Iyengar andRachelE.Wells ofColumbiaUniversity andBarrySchwartz ofSwarthmoreCollege,PsychologicalScience,17(2),2006

20.AttitudeisEverything,PaulJ.Meyer,

21.What’sStoppingYou?RobertKelsey,Capstone,2011

22.DestructiveGoalPursuit,D.ChristopherKayes,PalgraveMacmillan,2006

23.59Seconds,RichardWiseman,PanMacmillan,2009

24.The StanfordMarshmallow experimentwas created byProfessorWalterMischel atStanfordUniversity

Illustrationsandimages

Desertedruralroad—©travellinglight/istockphoto.com

EmperorScorpion—©JohnBell/istockphoto.com

Scorpionsilhouette—©ThomasSeybold/istockphoto.com

CountingHands—©YunusArakon/istockphoto.com

‘YoungAndAliIn1976WorldHeavyweightTitleFight’(2005GettyImages/gettyimages.co.uk)

Mosquito—©HenrikLarsson/istockphoto.com

Mosquitoessilhouette—©DavidSzabo/istockphoto.com

YellowStickyNote—©UyenLe/istockphoto.com

Blankisolatednotepad—©rusm/istockphoto.com

PaintCanonwhite—©JohnClines/istockphoto.com



Cheeringcrowd—©StephenSpraggon/istockphoto.com

Humanpyramid—teamwork—©MlennyPhotography/istockphoto.com

Megaphone—©AlexSlobodkin/istockphoto.com

Boyjumpingoffthecliff—CanBalcioglu/Shutterstock.com

Atoilet—Ammit/Shutterstock.com

stoneslab—©italianestro/istockphoto.com

Clothing,T-Shirt—©JasonLugo/istockphoto.com

Ladder—©BertoldWerkmann/istockphoto.com

Eurofighter(Typhoon)jet—SaschaHahn/Shutterstock.com

PhotographofYogiinVaranasi,IndiabyHerbertPonting,1907,fromWikipedia.org

Dachshundpuppydigginginbeachsand—DenisBabenko/Shutterstock.com

‘UlyssesandtheSirens’(1891)byJohnWilliamWaterhouse(1849—1917),fromWikipedia.org

GraffitiphotographsbyRichardNewton

50’sTVcommercial—©jamessteidl/istockphoto.com

Over-enthusiasticroostercrossingthestartlinephotographbyRitaDeavoll.WefoundoutthatthishadbeentakenbyaladyfromNewZealandwhilstonholidayintheCookeIslands.

SowesentRitaanemailexplainingouroddrequestforpermissiontousethephotoandshegenerouslysentustheoriginalphotowithherblessing.Itjustshowshowconnectedandsupportivetheworldisonceyoustartdoingthings!

Procrastination—©esolla/istockphoto.com

WaldorfAstoriaHotel©1988byJamesG.Howes

Marshmallows—LoriSparkia/Shutterstock.com

Boxofassortedchocolates—Mpanch/Shutterstock.com

Ajarofraspberryjamisolated—©YuriShirokov/Shutterstock.com



http://Wikipedia.org

http://Wikipedia.org

‘LordBertrandRussell’(Gamma—KeystoneviaGettyImages/gettyimages.co.uk)

Photographofchildstaringforlornlyatthemarshmallow,suppliedbyhismum

Setredstickers—©MilaLiu/Shutterstock.com

realisticredstickerswithpeelingcorners—©sovisdesign/Shutterstock.com

SetOfBlankStickers—©U.P.images_vector/Shutterstock.com

IllustrationssuppliedbyJonathanMarsh:openingpages-‘KickMe’Escalator,RoadHazardSigns;Part1-LaptopManonGlobe,WindowBoxOfficeMan;Part2-BeatenTrackSign;Part6-KeepItRealDog,‘IGotKicked’Man

IllustrationssuppliedbyCurtisAllen(www.curtisallen.co.uk):Part2-‘YourLifeExpress’Train,‘BlahBlah’Men,TalkersandDoersonStairs,TwoTalkingMen;Part4-Restaurant,OfficeandFishShack;Part6-SpacemanandRocket

AllothersbyRichardNewton:Part1-ChangingWorkerConventions,TwoGravestones,RelaxedSofaManWatchingTV;Part2-HappinessGraph;Part3-FearandRegretScale;Part4-Desk,SpottheDifference;Part5-FlowChallengeGraph;Part6-BreadandKnife

Thiseditionfirstpublished2012

©2012ShááWasmund

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AgraduateofTheLondonSchoolofEconomics,ShááWasmund’sentrepreneurialcareerhadanunusualstart.At22shewonacompetitiontointerviewSuperMiddleweightboxingchampChrisEubankandendeduphelpingtopromotehisnextfighttoasell-out48,000livecrowdandan18millionTVaudience.Shááremainsanardentboxingfan.

ShortlyaftershesetupherownPRandmarketingcompanyandwonthethenrelativelyunknownvacuumcleanercompanyDysonasoneofherfirstclients.WorkingalongsideSirJamesDysonhelpingtoestablishDysonasaglobalbrandtaughtSháámoreaboutbusinessthananyMBA.Tothisday,SháácreditsJamesasbeingoneherbiggestsourcesofinspiration.

Sháá’sloveaffairwiththeInternetbeganaftershebecameafoundingdirectorinSirBobGeldof’sonlinetravelcompany.Ayearlater,Shááraisedsubstantialfundstolaunchmykindaplace.comanearlysocialnetworkingsite.ThecompanywaslatersoldtoBSkyB.

Shááisaprolificpublicspeaker,digitalnativeandpassionatechampionofsmallbusinesses.Amongstotheraccolades,ShááhasbeenvotedbytheInstituteofDirectorsasoneoftheUK’sMostConnectedWomen,oneofManagementToday’s‘35Under35’andGrowingBusinessmagazine’s‘YoungGuns’.



http://mykindaplace.com

In2009SháálaunchedSmarta.com,theUK’s#1ResourceforSmallBusiness.Smartaisahighlyinnovativebusinessplatformprovidingadvice,networkingandtoolsforbusinessowners,backedbyleadingentrepreneursTheoPaphitis,DeborahMeadenandMichaelandXochiBirch.In2011Sháálaunched’SmartaBusinessBuilder’,agroundbreakingcloud-basedtoolkitforbusiness.

FollowShááonTwitter:@Shaawasmund

RichardNewtonisanentrepreneur,consultantandwriter.AfterspendingalmosttenyearswritingaboutbusinessforTheSundayTelegraph,TheMailonSundayandothers,Richarddecidedtoswitchsides,walkthetalkandrunhisownbusiness.Heco-foundedasoftwarecompanythatsuppliesbrandmanagementsolutionsformanyoftheworld’slargestconsumerbrands.

Heisnowaco-founder,director,boardadviserand/ormentoratanumberoftechcompaniesandstart-upsincludingScreendragon,CallTrunkandTxt2Buy.

HerunstheconsultancyNewtonPrincipalsandwritesaboutbeingcreativeinbusiness,theimportanceofgoodlanguageinbusiness,andtheurgencyTODOTHINGS!’

Hewritesatrichard-newton.comandcanalsobereachedat@richnewton.



http://Smarta.com

http://richard-newton.com

Acknowledgments

FromSháá:

ThisbookisforallthepeoplethatallowmetoStopTalkingandStartDoing.Noonecancreateanythingtrulygreatinisolation.

TomyNan-theybrokethemouldwhentheymadeyou.Youaretrulyirreplaceable.TomyMum,thankyouforteachingmetolivewithoutlimitations.

Theysayfriendsarethefamilyyouchooseforyourselfandthatiscertainlytrueofmine:Brenda,Lisa,Troy,Kanya,Hulya,Naffie,Chloe,Michelle,Chris,Debra,Gordon,Larry,David,Madeline-Iwouldn’tbewhoIamwithoutallofyou.

ToRichforhissupport,brilliantwritingskillsandfriendship.

ToallmySmartieswhomakeworkajoy.

To my new OTK friends who have made me raise my game and offered invaluablesupportandadvice.Thankyou.

ToAndrew,Richard,Nick,JustinandTosh-whatwouldIdowithoutallofyou?Thankyouforalwaysbeingthereandalwaysbeinginmycorner.

Mostofall,thisisformybeautifulsonJettandhisgorgeous,smartandfunnyDad,Steve.Wemissyoueveryminuteofeveryday.Loveyoubigas theuniverse.Thisbookis foryou.

FromRichard:

SomanypeoplehavegivenmeahelpfulkickmeinthepantsthatI’vewornoutholesinotherpeople’sshoes.Inanyevent,therearefartoomanypeopletomentionbyname.ButIsawthissigninacafétheotherdayandIthinkitsaysallIneed.

Toeveryone:



AndifImissedanyoneoutseeabove.



stop talking, start doing by shaa wasmund

Career