STANFORD RIVER TALK 1

Winter water sports in Stanford

Winter Winter water water sports in sports in StanfordStanford

Volume 95 | JULY 2013 | Stanford‘s monthly newspaper | R14

STANFORD RIVER TAALK 1STANFORD RIVER TALK 1028 341 0841 info@stanfordhi l ls .co.za www.stanfordhi l ls .co.za R43 Stanford

the tasting room S T A N F O R D H I L L S E S T A T E

With our new drop down blinds and fireplace we are ready for cosy winter lunches!

Open daily from 11am-5pm.Closed Tuesday & Wednesday.

Blackboard lunch menu changes daily according to what is fresh and in season. Call Bridget on 072 639 6135 to find out what's cooking, or to make a booking. Please like our Facebook page for regular menu updates and news of upcoming events.

STANFORD RIVER TALK 2

Keller Williams Realty Inc., the fastest-growing residential real estate firm in North America, according to Realtor Magazine,

has announced that it has expanded its growing network to the Hermanus Whale Coast area by the opening of Keller Williams Realty Hermanus Whale Coast. Led by Operating Principal Pat McLoughlin, the newest Keller Williams Realty market center will offer Whale Coast area buyers and sellers exceptional service and over sixty combined years of agent and staff experience. “Keller Williams Realty is excited about opening a new market center in Hermanus,” said Mark Willis, chief executive officer of Keller Williams Realty International (KWRI). “Our company has a policy of limiting its market presence by selecting only the premier partners in any given area. These individuals are top producers, or have the potential to be so. By maintaining our

standards of excellence, we can provide Keller Williams Realty customers with the best real estate experience possible.” Keller Williams Realty keeps its agents performing at the highest level by offering them the most comprehensive educational resource in the real estate industry — Keller Williams University. The company’s level of training, added to its other corporate benefits such as the Agent Leadership Council and profit sharing, attracts and retains the best in the business. “We are proud of the way we do business and we hope Hermanus Whale Coast residents will think of us when they think of real estate. We are already well established in Hermanus, Stanford and Gansbaai, and will now be extending our operations to Sandbaai, Onrus and Vermont and beyond to Kleinmond, Betty’s Bay, Pringle Bay and Rooi-els,” said Operating Principal Pat McLoughlin.

STANFORD - Amanda Geldenhuys084 911 2016 www.kwsa.co.za

Keller Williams Realty

Hermanus Whale Coast enters the Local Market

Hermanus Whale Coast’s affiliation with Keller Williams is effective immediately. The Stanford office is located at 12 Queen Victoria Street, Stanford. To contact the office, call 028 341 0960 or email amanda.geldenhuys@kwsa.co.za

STANFORD RIVER TALK 3

editorial notes

Editorial Contributions & Disclaimer Editorial contributions are welcome and should include top quality photos where relevant. Articles will be printed under the contributor‘s name or an accepted nom-de-plume if the full name and address is provided. All contributions are voluntary and not paid for. The editor reserves the right to edit, amend, abridge or reject any article. Opinions of contributors do not necessarily reflect those of the editor. Copyright All material in this issue is copyrighted, and belongs to The Really Famous Publishing CC unless otherwise indicated. No part of the material may be reproduced without prior permission. Published and printed by The Really Famous Publishing CC.

CONTACT US www.stanfordrivertalk.co.zaPhil Murray – editor, philippa.murray@gmail.com, 082 667 0619Sandra Slabbert – design editordesign@stanfordrivertalk.co.za , 079 523 8453Michelle Hardie – managing editor. All account queries, 079 2911 588

Cover photograph taken by Fred Hatman. Read more: Penguin Plunge page 4.

find our business page on facebook or tweet to stanfordrivertalk@villagelife

A belated thank youIn response to Wendy Moll's letter in Stanford River Talk, April 2013: I am glad you are feeling better, but not at all surprised to hear that you got such good help from Dr Pepler. Once a very long time ago, he came to my aid. It was Easter weekend. I was nine years old and had developed shingles. He spent most of his Sunday with the local chemist (we were in Hermanus at the time) concocting an ointment to relieve my symptoms. I am not sure at the time I thanked him for his help, so I am thanking him now. Better late than never. Caitlin Hague

Stanford in a tranceMuch has been said in the streets of Stanford, on various blogs and via email about the trance party hosted on a farm on the outskirts of Stanford during the weekend of 18 May. Some were in favour of such events, a few even voicing strongly worded criticisms of those who were opposed to the event. However, the majority of the comments received were from people who were upset, not by the party but by the boom-boom beat that thumped across Stanford throughout the Saturday night and into Sunday morning. In the June issue of Stanford River Talk, the Stanford Police reported that, ’The application for trance parties goes through many channels with the Overstrand Municipality giving it the go-ahead.’ I agree that this is what should happen, but unfortunately, in the case of the Stanford event, this procedure was not followed. As indicated in the report from the Stanford Police, the organisers of the event made application to SAPS at provincial level, who rated the event as a low impact event and advised the Stanford Police accordingly. The Overstrand Municipality were informed of the event and requested certain information and documentation from the organisers before a Populating Certificate could be issued. This information was not provided and consequently the certificate was not issued. This sequence of events has exposed a weakness in municipal procedure that is to be followed for the approval of such events and they are in the process of setting up clear guidelines that are to be followed for the approval of festivals and events in future. Having said all of that, I must point out that approval of an event by the municipality does not give the organisers the right to create a noise that disturbs the peace in the village. Any noise which causes a disturbance of the peace remains the responsibility of SAPS to deal with as they deem fit.Dudley Coetzee, Ward Councillor

Taking pot-shotsWe like to live in a rural setting surrounded by nice people and we don’t like to complain at all. But a rant towards the local municipality we have. A few weeks ago the parking spot of the municipal offices was tarred despite its excellent condition, and not so long ago a road was tarred which was also in a superb condition. But look at our street, the second busiest in the village, with some heavy trucks passing to and from the farms further down the road. It’s full of potholes. We don’t want our road to be tarred but rather be well-maintained and maybe, add a few road narrowings (costs less than tarring a parking lot of 300m2) which might slow down some of the speedsters. The municipality scraped the gravel roads on this side of the village last week but in such a manner that the first new potholes are already in the making. Also, the 'leiwater' pipe near Caledon Street was damaged in the process. There seems to be a complete lack of long-term vision but no lack of short term shortcuts. Herman van Bon

MONTHLY CONTRIBUTORSChurton Collins, Cath Croxton, Janika Dorland, Fred Hatman, Bob Hadley, Andrew Herriot, Melissie Jolly, Olga Koorts, Don MacIver, Suzanne-Francoise Rossouw, Bea Whittaker and Tania Weich.

At the time of going to print, we hold our breaths waiting to hear the news from Madiba's bedside. We wish you peace and love at this time, Tata. It is our wish for our village and our country too. Our July edition reflects how Stanford pulls closely together in wintertime. With the Penguin Plunge, Star Literacy Project and Rotary Report (News and Updates, pages 4 & 5 ) villagers give their time and money to others in Stanford, and have fun while doing it. Stillness settles over the Overberg (Out of the Hat, page 15) while we batten down the hatches, wait for the rain, watch the height of the river, and await the annual whale visitors to our coastline. The teenagers group together in posse's (Teen Talk, page 15), the adults watch the news and the markets (Old Boar, page 6) or look towards the spring and plan their gardens (Plant Talk, page 10). The best kept secret in the Western Cape is this: a good winter's day is the most glorious day imaginable. If you can outlast the rain and wind, you will be rewarded. Share the secret, Stanfordians.

STANFORD RIVER TALK 4

news & updates

WARD COMMITTEE REPORT Meeting held 13 June 2013

INDIGENT GRANTSThe adherence to the regulations for an indigent grant (i.e. rebate on services for people with a low income) is being carefully looked into by the Overstrand Municipality. For houses valued at more than R100 000, the following is applicable:• A property may only be used for residential purposes;• The total household income may not exceed the sum of four times the amount of state-funded social pensions (= R5 000/month at present);• The average monthly consumption of electricity by the household over the previous 12 months may not exceed 400 kW (unit) (of which 50 units are provided free);• The average monthly consumption of water by the household over the previous 12 months may not exceed 18kl (unit). If not, a flow limiter meter will be installed immediately and flow will be limited to a maximum of 18kl (unit) per month;• The owner must be a permanent resident of Overstrand;• The owner must be a South African citizen;• The applicant may not be the registered owner of more than one property in South Africa.

WORKING FOR THE COASTThe Overstrand Working for the Coast project has been approved and will start 1 August 2013. This means that Stanford may have no ‘Green Team’ for a week or two in July, until the new budget kicks in. Good news is that although a new implementing agent has been appointed, the project manager and contractors will remain the same.

CHANGE ROOMS AT SOCCER FIELDSThe project has been completed and the facilities are available to any organisation hosting an event on the soccer field – i.e. the facility is NOT for the sole use of the soccer clubs.

OU KRALE REVITALISATIONFunds from the Greenest Town award will be used to start a pedestrian walkway between Mathilda May and De Bruyn street. This is all part of the masterplan for the improvement of the area. Unfortunately there is not enough money for the proposed boardwalk on the Bezuidenhout side of the Willem Appel Dam, but it now does give Stanford the time to obtain the necessary environmental approval for such a boardwalk.Bea Whittaker

* As there will be no ward meeting during the school holidays, there will be no feedback in the August issue.

On 3 May, the production team of Kwêla (KykNet, DSTV) visited Stanford to compile a story on the life and books of local author, Chanette Paul. Camera work and interviews took place in and around her house, and also on the River Rat. Kwêla is a popular programme on KykNet and Chanette's story will be telecast on a Wednesday evening soon. Ernie Blommaert

The Penguins weren’t chickenThis year saw Stanford's third Penguin Plunge in which locals and visitors leap into the icy waters of the Klein River to raise money for charity. We have 36 names of Penguins that registered, although more people were given their penguin keyrings as they left the water. On the day we counted the money that had been dropped into the bag together with the Rotary Club Stanford, it totalled R 3 172. More money has been pledged and it will be dropped off at Stanfordinfo. We will then hand over the money to Kobin at the Stanford General Dealer where it will be entered into the book for provisions for the soup kitchen for the elderly. Depending on the amount utilised, we may use some of it towards other Rotary projects for the elderly such as their ’Bags of love’ that we supported last year for the festive season. We would really like to express our sincere appreciation to the many people who helped to make this fun fundraising event the success that it was. Lastly, a big thank you can be passed around the village for the support that we enjoyed from so many participants and spectators.Anton and Tracey Duivestein

ERWIN‘STraditional German Meat Products

now produced locally

Products available at Saturday morning marketand at our local Spar

Cell 082 441 5533 • www.erwins.co.za

Local author coming to your TV screen

Penguins crossing: Participants shuffle to the launching jetty, ready to plunge into the Klein River coolth.

River Rat chat: Chanette Paul and the TV crew enjoying the tranquil river.

THE DEADLINE FOR ADVERTISING IN AUGUST EDITION IS 20 JULY

Please book your advertising at design@stanfordrivertalk.co.za • 079 523 8453

STANFORD RIVER TALK 5

news & updates

STANFORD ROTARY

We have started our volunteering project by doing a few home visits. We hope that in time more people will hear about the work we are doing in the community. We will also keep meeting on a monthly basis alternating between a medical lecture/tea and cake, and a social get-together. The aim of the social get-together is to give people the opportunity to get to know others in the community and to have fun. We are considering bingo, sing alongs, basic exercise sessions and other activities during these get-togethers. We do not have funding and would need to charge R15 per person to cover potential costs. If you would like more information, kindly contact Paulette Whitelaw by email: prwagencies@telkomsa.net or phone 082 941 9007.Please diarise the date for our next meeting:17 July 2013, 3pm, Galashiels Lodge, 10 King Street, Stanford, cost is R15.Paulette Whitelaw

STAR shines onThe STAR Literacy Programme is run by a group of enthusiastic volunteers at Die Bron Primary School. Now in its seventh year, the programme provides one-on-one mentoring in Afrikaans and English, for children with reading challenges, to instill a love of books and reading. This year 16 volunteers are mentoring 44 children. The ’high’ on the programme is when a child has mastered sufficient skills to read independently, and can graduate from the programme. This event was celebrated with five pupils in June. The Book Club was started two years ago to meet the real need of graduates from the programme to reinforce their hard-won skills. Thanks to a number of generous donations, there is a choice of lovely books, in Afrikaans and English, at the club which is open once a week. The service is voluntary, and the children have to remember to bring back their books on the right day – not always easy for young children! Most of the children attend regularly, and take good care of the books. To find out more about STAR, phone Judi Brown on 028 341 0502.

Five elated graduates: (back from left) Angel Davids, Pam Schultz (mentor), Jesslien Stuart, Rose Murray (mentor), Monique Sadie; (front from left) Qhama Mandoyi and Zasseline Plaatjies.Absent: Judy Gardner (mentor).

Enthusiastic faces: (from left) Tamerone Booysen, Kaytim Damon, Joe-Heen Cornelius, Lezay Mars and Chloe Appel tell of a growing love of reading!

Fire ReportMembers of the Overstrand Fire and Rescue attended First-Aid Level 3 Courses during May 2013. We've been called out to various scenes, from a light motor vehicle accident near Bella Vista and small fires, to the rescue of a nine-year-old boy who got his leg stuck in a storm water drain in Melkhout Street, Fire and Rescue has been serving its community. Here are a few safety tips:• Educate your children not to play in storm water channels • Please stick to the municipal by-laws: burning rubbish is illegal and you can get fined for the offence. Take your rubbish to the Transfer Station!• Please don't try to cross flooded bridges at all. If you have been cut off by flood waters contact us for assistance. THANK YOU to local farmers for sticking to the terms and conditions when you burn controlled fires.Stanford Fire & RescueContact number: 079 507 7326 (24/7)Overstrand Control Room: 028 312 2400 (Fire-Calls)

Riversong community network update

DONATIONS Heartfelt Rotary thanks to those locals who do monthly donations to the soup kitchen fund that is now supporting six soup kitchens, and feeding more than 300 needy people up to four times per week. Our gratitude goes to all the participants of the Penguin Plunge who managed to collect more than R 3000 which will be used to purchase foodstuffs for the elderly in need in our community – our deep appreciation to Anton and Tracey Duivestein and their ‘team’ for organising this wonderful event every year. Besides sponsoring the beaded penguin keyrings handed out to all brave 'penguins' who jumped into the icy river for a good cause (at last count 41, which included three dogs!), Penguin Tutoring also pledged R2 000 which will go towards sponsoring Regina Broenner’s fantastic after-school project, Creative Works. Our sincere thanks to Patti and Murray Legg for their continuous support of the Penguin Plunge fundraiser and educational projects in our community. We would also like to thank the unknown person who drops off fresh vegetables at Kobin’s store every week – your contribution makes a difference! Any further donations of foodstuffs (Spar basket or call Ansie 082 320 0982 for pick-up) or cash to either soup kitchen book at Kobin’s Stanford General Dealer or the Rotary bank account, will be highly appreciated. The need is much greater during the cold winter months and our stores are getting low.

MEMBER NEWSStephen Stocks was inducted as Rotary Stanford President while Elma Hunter was welcomed as new club member on 19 June 2013. We are grateful to Kathryn and Breese Johnson for making Mosaic Private Sanctuary available for this lovely social event and for their continuous support. Election results: New President, Stephen

Stocks, and new member, Elma Hunter.

STANFORD RIVER TALK 6

business talkTOURISM MATTERS Lolly and Folly

As we enter the traditional period of labour unrest and strikes in South Africa, how will people negotiate a winning solution?

Since coming to the Western Cape (Stanford) four years ago we have been extremely pleased with the level of service offered by our Municipality and I agree wholeheartedly with Aron Gcotyelwa who sang their praises last month (Aron's Word, June 2013). However, there are still some sticking points and the jury is out as to whether these are matters of gross incompetence or of 'the two Rs' raising their ugly heads. ‘The two Rs‘, better known as rands and racism, seem to have become endemic problems in our country. Far better to spend today planning for tomorrow instead of wasting your time reflecting on the past which can be neither influenced nor changed; after all, the ‘past’ is almost twenty years ago. It looks like the old adage ‘Sell in May and go away’ may be proven correct this year. The markets have certainly taken a knock since the end of May. With the flow of ‘artificial’ money drying up investors are becoming more cautious. Although most seem to view the current correction as ‘healthy’, the overall view seems to be optimistic. Commodity prices have taken a beating adding to the woes of shareholders and management of mining companies. Apparently the average miner’s wage is now in the region of R15,000 per month. Clearly the increases of the past few years are not sustainable particularly when the price of the end product has taken such a knock. We have entered the period of annual wage negotiations but this year, if the unions are not prepared to be realistic, they will find everyone unemployed as the mines are forced to close. Ironically this is a Catch-22 situation as, if they close, commodity prices will increase again. Economists call it the Law of Supply and Demand.

nrest and strikes in South ution?

years ago we have been M i i li d I

FINANCE MATTERS

Stanfordinfo is the trading name of The Stanford Association of Tourism and Business. The Association is an affiliate member of the Cape Regional Chamber of Commerce. It has 112 members and an operating budget in excess of R400 000. Funding is derived equally from a grant paid by the Overstrand Municipality and self-generated income, principally from membership fees, commission and the sale of goods. Although Stanfordinfo is an ‘association not for gain’ (in other words its activities do not focus on profit-generation), it did bank a small surplus at the end of the financial year. Each year members elect an Executive Committee that is delegated to manage the affairs of the Association. This committee’s actions are guided by the organisation’s constitution and by-laws, resolutions passed at its Annual General Meeting and a reasonable dose of common sense. In addition to the prescript of the Association’s Mission Statement – ‘to develop, promote and inform’ – the committee has to consider issues relating to labour law, health and safety as well as local government financial and administrative requirements. Currently the Association has two full-time employees operating on a shift system. Steph Richards is the Office Manager and Le-Ann Hoogbaard the Information Officer. Off-peak gaps are covered by casual staff. Website, marketing and media liaison are contracted to service provider Rina de Wet. During 2012 Stanford received recognition from the CapeInfo website as South Africa’s Top Destination Village. Whilst accepting that this is a commercial website and that the award is largely subjective, the village can be quietly proud of this achievement. In April Steph and the team assisted with the registration and distribution of the mystery clues for the Good Hope FM Adventure Race. This event attracted more than a thousand entrants, dominantly Capetonians who have probably never previously visited Stanford.The website, stanfordinfo.co.za, has recently seen a member-led update. In traffic terms this site now has a higher rating than those of both Franschhoek and Hermanus! Whilst commission earnings are slightly down on last year, the number of office visitors has increased by 20%. This suggests that either the website is doing its job or that we are succeeding in bringing people to the village but we are not doing enough to make them stay. Following negotiations with the Overstrand Municipality’s tourism directorate, Stanfordinfo has secured funding that will be used to further improve the promotion and staging of the De Hoop Stretton’s Stanford Bird Fair. Stanfordinfo’s members, and the village at large, are fortunate to have such an experienced and dedicated team looking after their interests. Across all disciplines – financial, operational, governance and promotional – Stanfordinfo is well respected amongst the Overstrand’s tourism and business community for its high standards and efficiency. Maybe not such a mess then!Watch where you step.Martin Ranger

Mosaic Farm welcomes Marcelino and Simone Henckert and their two children, Matthew and Mila to the team. Marcelino and Simone bring with them a wealth of experience. With more than 20 years between them in conservation, lodge management, game ranging and spa therapy, they have been integral to the elevating of the level of service at Mosaic. The Mosaic Rain Spa at Lagoon Lodge is now open to guests and day visitors. All Rain Professional Products are sourced locally and made in Swellendam, and products along with carefully selected gifts are available for purchase.Kathryn Johnson

Mosaic news

Stanford in the UK Sunday TimesStanford was recently mentioned in an article in London's Sunday Times as a destination for second-time English tourists to visit, and in which to invest. Congratulations to Stanford Village Properties for showing prospective buyers the best of our village and for wrapping up the deal that got Stanford into the international press.

Stanfordinfo is accountable to its members, but also works within a strict framework.

Info on Info

Some of you detective story reading fanatics will have noticed that I erred and strayed with my article on heating water last month. Lime has very little to do with water heating. It’s the way you go about heating it that counts. A heat pump, which works in the opposite way to a fridge, and does not have an element that rests at full blast (where it attracts scale) in the water, is a simple heat exchanger. It uses 25 – 33.3% of the electrical ‘power’, and the existing element in the geyser can be linked as a back-up. It has distinct advantages over simply solar which can be used as a back-up, at extra cost. With the future in mind, that is the way I intend to go.

In Hot WaterGreybeard corrects an error and offers personal advice

Family of four: The Henckerts at Mosaic Farm.

Old Boar

STANFORD RIVER TALK 7

sport talk

For those who will be cycling in the Karoo2Coast Mountain Bike Race in September, training should be in full swing. Nothing should deter you from putting in the miles on the bike. You should be building strength and endurance in your thighs, by including lots of hill work in your training to prepare for the infamous ride over the Outeniqua Mountain. In the meantime, to whet our appetites, we have ridden four races:The Montagu Mountain Mania Race was held on 27 April and proved to be a test of stamina with a huge mountain climb and also a test of mechanical skill for the many riders who experienced punctures due to the thorns. Next we rode near Robertson in the Willow Creek MTB Challenge on 11 May. Personally I found this ride a tough one, as there were numerous very steep, lung-bursting climbs followed by equally steep, loose, boulder-strewn, hair-raising descents. Then just when our thighs were screaming ‘no more’, we reached a section of district gravel road where our legs got a welcome rest before tackling the final section. On 25 May we went to De Doorns for the Hex River Valley Autumn Splendour MTB Race. This is an awesome race with stunning scenery. Stark, sheer mountains were offset by the indescribable beauty of the vineyards clothed in all their autumn finery. The trail goes for miles alongside a railway line with the scariest drop, straight down the side of the mountain literally inches from your wheels. Then to ride through a long old tunnel through the mountain in such an intense blackness that even the handlebar light is swallowed up, and a long, fast and exhilarating descent down a mountain jeep track with the smell of your disc brakes in your nostrils all made for an unforgettable ride! On 15 June, a group of Stanfordians tackled the Napier Patatfees MTB Challenge. After a gruelling four kilometre climb right near the start of the race which separated the ‘boys from the manne’, we then ripped through a fast, rather overgrown and technical section of Jeep track down the mountain. We went on through farmlands, dodging mud puddles and the participants of the Patatfees Half Marathon, to eventually arrive at the finish covered in mud and ready to sample the vast array of food on offer at the Patatfees stalls.Jenny Metal

SATURDAY 3 AUGUST: Baardskeerdersbos route. Start: 08:00 at Gansbaai Info. Leader: Desirè Pitzer 082 878 9552. Cost: R30 pp.

SATURDAY 7 SEPTEMBER: Hermanus/Stanford (to be adviced). Start: 08:00 at Gansbaai Info. Leader: John Burgoyne 082 566 4495. Cost: R30 pp.

STRAND-VELD HIKING

CYCLING NEWS

All in the name of fitness and fun

WINE TASTING • COFFEE SHOP • ACCOMMODATION028 341 0630 • 076 736 0351 WWW.BOSHRIVER.CO.ZA

Having a ballOn 19 June, members from the Universals Rugby Football Club received five new Gilbert rugby balls from En Route Towing Services. The football club would like to thank En Route Towing for their contribution towards the club.Thank you. Graig Niemand

The blokes and the balls (from left): Johannes Oktober, Charl Henn, Cornelius Booysen, Israel Spandiel and Wayne Theron.

AN UPHILL RUNSarah Gordon did Stanford proud when she completed this year's Comrades Marathon in 9h43mins. Well done, Sarah! She would like to thank her friends for their encouragement, especially Tina, Sandy and Andre. But most of all, she is grateful to her children for putting up with her during the gruelling training. See you on our TV screens next year, Sarah!

Comrade Sarah: Running between Durban and Pietermaritzburg.

Fun in the sun: Jenny Metal, Dave and Leanna Morrison, and Leigh & Derek Hallendorff ready for anything.

STANFORD RIVER TALK 8

028 3410 651 • www.springfontein.co.za • info@springfontein.co.za • Die Plaat Road, Stanford

Handcr a f t ed Wine s • Wine Ta s t i n g by appo i n tmen t • Gues t Lodg i n g

legal talk MOUTH PIECE

Stanford's Survival Guide 101

By Cath Croxton

We’ve been in Stanford for well over a year now. (‘OMG,’ I can hear you say, ‘it feels like forever – and look at the trouble you’ve caused in such a short time.’) But I digress, as this is not the point of this short piece. A full year in a place is the perfect moment to reflect on experiences – a time to ponder lessons learnt. So what have I learnt? There are many things about Stanford that you couldn’t possibly know when you first arrive, so you listen to the stories and to the people, to try to gauge what is important to Stanfordians. You hear a range of different opinions and perspectives on life and you may or may not get sucked into some of the concerns. Of course there is an array of committees, all of them keen to find new talent to help drive their causes. Well done the lot of you. You are a driven, impressive bunch. I’m sorry I didn’t really join in. But there is one thing I have definitely learnt and that is the extent to which many people care about certain key issues, and my advice to any newcomer is to quickly gain a good handle on what I call ‘Stanford Etiquette’. This consists of the following:1. It’s fine to blame the municipality for: a. The state of the roads – especially those untarred ones. b. Noisy rave parties in the mountains – well if you are over 50 and have forgotten what fun they were? c. Water disruptions and power cuts. d. Unruly dogs off-lead. Owners should be fined and/or their dogs shot on the spot – apart from mine of course. e. Not controlling those dreadful teenagers spray-painting the Wandelpad and those skateboarding dangerously without helmets.2. And anything else, you can blame on the ANC!

Homer on the RangeShould The Simpsons have a place in our homes?

Homer Simpson is fast becoming an endangered species in Britain and is even in danger of becoming extinct. Like the hapless Dodo and the lesser pink-spotted tree frog he is in danger of vanishing from this planet. Surveys reveal, and experts in family law opine, that Mr Simpson is a bad example to children, encourages bad eating habits and also presents men and husbands in a disparaging light. He encourages the perception that all men are useless idiots. Well then. He does wolf down the last doughnut without consulting Bart, Lisa or Marge. He drinks a lot of Duff beers and hangs out with low-lives at the local pub, and eats only things that are bad for him like doughnuts and Chelsea buns. He is irresponsible, with a penchant for anti-social and self-destructive behaviour. Picture him coming down the stairs for a Toga Party, throwing up his arms with the words, ’Friends, Romans, Countrymen ...’ only for the toga (sheet) to fall off revealing his tubby naked torso held up by a pair of Y-front underpants. Bart thinks his dad is a hoot. Lisa, for all her finer feelings and creativity, still loves her stupid old dad. Mrs Simpson, for all her efforts to house-train and civilise her husband, still loves him. Should this paragon of everything unvirtuous survive the chill winds of modern moralism? Should this rampage of bad dietary example be allowed to continue? The same survey that found that he was a bad role model also found that most children thought broccoli was a baby tree. Commenting on the survey, the editor of The Guardian said in a leader: ’But it is the storytelling that is the greatest achievement of The Simpsons and the reason Homer merits recognition and his venerable first name. Centuries past, the first Homer spun yarns that were equally fantastic by the standards of the day, but penetratingly true in their portrayal of humanity, especially the guileful, disaster-prone but ultimately triumphant Odysseus. Across the gulf of time, the two adventurers would recognise one another.’Maybe he will survive. Churton Collins

STANFORD RIVER TALK 9

In mid-June, I boarded the Shosholoza Meyl in Cape Town Station towing my two under-

fives. The station was bright, clean, electronic and modern – things were looking good other than for the fact that all luggage trolleys came attached to porters. There was nothing for it but to pay to have my luggage portered. Our Tourist Sleeper cabin was top-notch – beds comfy, lights working, water running, and windows and doors operational. We opened the windows, waved at farm workers, and photographed the snow frosting around Tulbagh and Worcester. We trundled along at a decidedly clickety-clack pace rather that lickety-click, and reached Johannesburg thirty hours later. The girls had drawn, cut and glued themselves to a standstill. We had explored every passage in search of the best loo, and we had tried many things off the menu in the dining car. We were on an adventure to visit two grannies and two grandpa's, and some dear cousins in Pietermaritzburg, and we were more than halfway there. After a sojourn with old friends in Jozi, we boarded the next night train from Park Station, Johannesburg to Pietermaritzburg. This train ride was a little different. Park Station itself is much more wild – none of the escalators in the building were operational, and passengers were gridlocked, lugging enormous bags up

and down the same flights of stairs. Again, every trolley was attached to a porter but I had to use three different porters to reach the roof parking lot, with each porter setting his own price. They were smiley, polite, helpful gentlemen but they squeezed me dry. The night train flew through the dark countryside, and cornered like it was on tracks. It is hard to understand how we arrived an hour and a half late in Maritzburg, as going any faster may have derailed the old choo-choo. The conductor advised everyone to close the blinds in case street urchins lobbed stones at us, and everything was a little more worn and grimy. Although the dining menu was the same as on the first leg, nothing was in stock other than beef curry and pap. Twice in the night, someone tried to slide open my cabin door, but I choose to believe he was just a little lost on his way back from the 'lav'. Twelve hours later, Granny and Grandpa #One collected us from the beautiful Maritzburg Station made famous by Mahatma Gandhi. After a wonderful week with extended family, my two little ducklings and I repeated the whole trip in the opposite direction, and I am happy to report that I did not spend the whole holiday

dreading the return ride. Here is what I learnt:• All trains go via Johannesburg – the coastal train route is closed for maintenance.• The train is almost always late, but it is quite a comfy place in which to be stuck.• The lavatories get progressively better, the further away from the dining car you go.• There is nowhere to charge a cell phone so use a camera to take snaps, not the phone.• It cuts the trip by three hours to get collected from Worcester rather than Cape Town.• The wine list is dismal.• The adventure starts as you get onto the train. So would I do it again? Definitely, but next time I need some adult company, my own wine and a game of Boggle.Phil Murray

Riders on the RailIs train travel making a comeback?

Railway children: Sam and Rachel Horn enjoying the view in the Hex River Valley.

STANFORD RIVER TALK 10

GARDEN TALKS: 18 July at 2pm: Indoor plant care. 24 July at 2pm: Easy to grow indigenous shrubs.

by Suzanne-Francoise Rossouwgarden talk

Landscaping & irrigation services.

Mon - Fri, 7:30 - 17:00 Sat, 8:00 - 14:00

Tel: (028) 341 0691 Fax: (028) 341 0413

DIY - PAINT - PLUMBINGIRRIGATION - NURSERY

STANFORD

SPOTLIGHT ON ALIENS

Come September, we will once again be entertained by a feast of purple in the fields south of the brewery. Tourists will stop and gaze upon the lovely scene, very similar to the lavender fields of France – except that the lovely purple flowers are called Patterson’s Curse (echium plantagineum) and a curse it is! Originating from southern and western Europe, they were brought in as ornamental flowers to the southern hemisphere and have become invasive in South Africa, Australia and America. This weed loves pastures and open grassland, and hence it is so prolific on the hillslopes outside Stanford. What many people do not know is that Patterson’s Curse is toxic to animals with simple (non-ruminant) digestive systems, such as horses, zebras

and cattle. Due to a high concentration of pyrrolizidine alkaloids in the plant, it cumulatively builds up in the liver, and death results from too much Patterson’s Curse in the diet. Because the alkaloids can also be found in the nectar of Patterson’s Curse, any honey made from it should be blended with other honeys to dilute the toxins, which strangely enough irritate the skin of men more than of women and children. The plant is a prolific seed producer and heavy infestations such as in the fields around Stanford can yield up to 30 000 seeds per square metre. The plant disperses by movement of seeds – by wheels (vehicles), walking (shoes and clothing), animals (wool or fur), water, and most importantly by means of harvested hay or grain.

In addition to being ‘pretty’ it can also tolerate drought. In Stanford gardens and open spaces the plants are starting to grow. Their large, flat hairy leaves are easy to identify as they try to out-compete other plants in the garden. They have to be dug out root and all, and no lawnmower will stop them growing. If not sure, wait until the first lovely purple flowers appear and DIG THEM OUT! Don’t allow them to seed. Patterson’s Curse is a Category 1 declared weed and must be removed.Bea Whittaker

GODETIA: Godetia is popular for mass planting and using in a vase. Sow in an area with full sun and well-drained soil during autumn. Plants can get up to 75cm tall and flower in late spring to early summer with shades of pink, lavender, red and white.

Old-Fashioned Spring ColourThe most exciting thing about spring is the wonderful colour. Now is the time to plan your garden colour show and get the plants in the ground. Here are some ideas for old-fashioned flowering plants to use in the garden.

Purple curseFields of menace

FOXGLOVES: This biennial grows up to 1m tall in full sun to semi-shade areas. The plants need rich well-drained soils to thrive. Bell-shaped flowers of pink, cream, magenta, white and purple can be seen in spring and summer.

ENGLISH DAISIES: Brilliant low growing border plants for semi-shade areas with a height of 10 –15 cm. They prefer manure rich soil to grow happily. White, pink and red daisies appear in early spring and summer.

PRIMROSES: These bright and colorful perennial plants will liven up any area. The plants grow well in pots and in the soil. Mass planting is best. Flowers come in shades of bright yellow, pink, blue and white. Space plants about 20cm apart in a semi -shade spot of the garden. Feed plants every two weeks with fertilizer high in potash.

POPPIES: These seed-sown colorful annuals are popular as cut flowers. The plants need a full sun spot with well-drained soil. Flowers appear in late winter to early spring in shades of oranges, pinks, yellows, reds and creams on stems of 50cm tall. Cut flowers for the vase just as the buds start to open.

WINTER PLANT CLEARANCE SALE Arctotis Sunset Radiance 15cm R29.95 Camellia japonica 10kg R99.95Blechnum fern R 31.95 Primula malacoides 6pks R16.95 Kombat snails 1kg R39.95 Gumboots Men Black R 75.95 Gumboots Ladies Black R 66.95 Gumboots slip-on green R136.95 30 Bark Mulch R25.95Hadeco Lilium longiflorum R45.95 Efekto colourburst Azalea 500g R59.95 Gardeners Gold Dust 5kg R25.95

Prices valid while stocks last. All prices include VAT. 1-31 July

P/Nent Trade Universal Undercoat 5L R195.00 Q20 Oil Penetrating 300g R35.50 Efekto Hormoban 100ml R69.95 Star 4 Secateur R95.95 Efekto Kalkswael 1Lt R32.95 Reenmeter Plastiek Clear Raco R29.95 Wonder Superfosfaat+C(8) 2kg R17.95 Efekto Kunsmis 2.3.2 (14)+C(8) Sr 2kg R27.95 Globe Energy Save Cw Bc 14W Kaufmann R18.71 Globe Energy Save Cw Es 14W Kaufmann R18.71 Globe Energy Save Ww Bc 14W Kaufmann R18.71 Globe Energy Save Ww Es 14W Kaufmann R18.71Firelighters 12Block Braai Buddy R11.95P

RO

MO

TIO

NS

STANFORD RIVER TALK 11

school talk health talk

A FEW TIPS ON PREVENTION• Always store any cleaning chemicals out of reach of children (fabric softener, ammonia, spirits, automatic dishwasher tablets)• Put away any paint or thinners immediately after use.• Use protective clothing when using insecticides or weed killer.• Know your garden – leaves of the lily family (St Josephs, arum), as well as delicious monster end elephant’s ear are very poisonous.• Naphthalene (mothballs, air freshener tablets) are poisonous. • Do not leave rat poison pellets (Rattex) in containers lying around.• Store any combustible substances in cool dark places, eg. caustic soda, turpentine.• When using swimming pool chemicals, make sure the container is sealed after use.• Keep any medication in a cabinet with child-proof caps closed.TIP: Keep supply of activated carbon (used as antidote) within easy reach (available at pharmacies and health shops).

WHAT TO DO IN THE EVENT OF POISONING• Poisoning is an acute medical emergency. Call for medical help.• If safe, remove the poison/substance from person/child.• NEVER under any circumstance induce vomiting!• Keep child or person upright to prevent vomiting and aspiration of poison into the lungs.• If poison was in contact with the eyes or skin, rinse with ample amounts of water.• With lip and mouth burns: Acid (like battery acid) can be neutralised with a combination of water and milk. Alkali (like ammonia) can be neutralised with water and milk, followed by fruit juice.• Absorption of paraffin can be slowed down by administering 150ml liquid paraffin or pharmacist paraffin (aptekers paraffien).• Alcohol poisoning is extremely dangerous and can cause severe kidney and liver damage within an hour or even death, especially with children. It is vital to get to a hospital immediately.

Reference: Prof De K SOMMERS, 'The treatment of acute poisoning' (Third Edition)

For emergencies, contact: Red Cross Children’s Hospital 021 689 5227Tygerberg Hospital 021 931 6129

I had the honour of meeting and talking to six children who have all been to Funimfundo Pre-school. The children are: Okuhle Apolisi (14), Tanita Apolisi (15), Odwa Jini (10), Ayesha (10), Likho Apolisi (9) and Busiswa Apolisi (7). It was a touching experience. I was slightly unsure of myself. How should I structure my questions? What should I ask? How do I avoid putting words into their mouths? Why would they be happy to talk to someone whose life experience is so far removed from theirs? However, the children were the gentlest and kindest children I have met in a long time. What did they say? They loved going to Funimfundo because of the toys (none of them had any toys at home) and the lovely friendly teachers. They also said they had learnt how to:feed themselves, be polite, read and write,and they learnt to speak a little bit of English. And finally they talked about what they want to be as adults. Okuhle wants to be a social worker. Ayesha wants to be a doctor. Lekho wants to be a nurse and Odwa says he will be a lawyer. Tanita was less sure but she is a great footballer so who knows? Little Busiswa was very clear. She wants to be a ‘Princess’. So why were these children so impressive? Without a doubt the Funimfundo experience played a big part. As they proudly explained, the Funimfundo teachers inspired them to be what they wanted to be. They were regularly encouraged to think about what they wanted to be and were told there was no reason for them not to succeed. Come and find out more about the school that gave these children such an important start in life. Cath Croxton

A bright future: (back left to right)Tanita Apolisi, Okhule Apolisi (front left to right) Busiswa Apolisi, Ayesha Apolisi, Likho Apolisi and Odwa Jini.

COLOUR MIRRORS

When we think of the colour blue, we think of blue skies, peace, freedom, feeling blue and tears. Big ideas, tranquillity, freedom, conservatism and responsibility are all blue attributes. Blue relates to the throat area so it is associated with communication and being heard. It is a safe, non-threatening colour which may be why it is so universally loved. It also signifies mothering, nurturing and teaching – it was the colour of Mother Mary’s cloak after all. Blue people in the positive are great communicators as they are authoritative, dependable, analytical, enquiring, inspiring and artistic. They make fantastic teachers, counsellors and public speakers as they speak clearly and truthfully. They are also persistent and driven to succeed. In the negative, blue relates to not being heard, high stress levels, self-pity and possibly issues with a father figure – possibly being a disappointment. Blue is very good for calming and clearing. It soothes those who struggle with nightmares, and helps reduce bed-wetting in children. So if you’re feeling stressed and unheard, put on a blue scarf or tie (or even your blue suede shoes) and you’ll feel calmer and able to communicate clearly. The same is true if you’re doing any sort of presentation or job interview. For more information see the website: www.colourmirrors.com

True BlueMelissie Jolly offers help with blue sky ideas

For more information and/or to arrange a visit, please contact: www.f4t4kids.co.za/index.htm028 341 0401 or 083 240 8454

The Stanford River Talk team wishes all the young people of our village a happy holiday.

Congratulations for making it halfway through the school year, and may the second half of the

year bring you joy and success. Whether you are holidaying out of town, in the Overberg, with family or with

friends, stick together, stay safe and fill your days with fun.

Send us your photographs for our next edition.

Funimfundo – The children

Beware: PoisonousDr Wanya van der Walt advises how to best deal with poisoning.

STANFORD RIVER TALK 12

food talkwine talk

A recent article on www.wine.co.za begins... ’Shopping for wine at any supermarket can be a daunting experience’. Really? We have the luxury of choosing between white or red, sweet or dry, sparkling or still. Surely once we have narrowed down our preferences, deciding what to drop into the trolley is not rocket science. I concede that the choices are numerous, but the fun is in the variety, exactly because we have so many options. However, shopping can be a schlep unless you know that there is a secret to selecting good wine. Ask anyone! Yes, ask other wine lovers what their favourite Bordeaux Blend, bubbly, or cheap-and-cheerful is. Recently I had the pleasure of the company of two very different wine appreciators at my home: an ex-local restaurateur and an international palate. And perhaps due to the nature of my consumption habits, people who partake of the fruits of the grape with me feel obliged to disclose the best wines available at the best price. So, by the time a couple or so bottles were uncorked, unscrewed and we had moved on to the boxed variety, I had a wealth of valuable information. Thanks Annie, thanks Lisa. Sure, the supermarket experience can be daunting. I have visions of negotiating the safety of my ankles between month-end shopping-list-toting, coupon-carrying consumers elbowing me out of the way as they wrestle for the budget buy of the last box of cornflakes. But, I’ve never been put off, disheartened or demoralised during the precious process of perusing a selection of pinotage. You see, there is always enough wine for everyone. And there are always enough wine lovers around keen to share which wine is worth trying. The moral of my story is, ask and good wine will forever graceyour glass.

The Pleasure of PerusalSo much cold weather, so much wine, and so many choices.

By Tania Weich

Cut pumpkin into several, fairly evenly shaped pieces. Remove seeds but not the skin if it is tough, since it is easy to lift flesh away from skin when cooked.Place the pumpkin, the quartered onion and garlic with the cold water in a large covered container. Microwave on high for about 10 minutes, or until tender (smaller pieces will cook faster). Do not overcook!When cool enough to work with, remove pumpkin from the skin and purée the flesh with the cooked onion, garlic and the liquid using a food processor.Add stock granules, sugar nutmeg and 1 cup of boiling water to make a thick purée. (You can sieve to remove lumps – but I can’t be bothered!)Return mixture to casserole or soup tureen. Add remaining boiling water. Stir to mix. Taste and season with salt and pepper if need be.Reheat until very hot, stirring every minute or so.Add cream (or yoghurt) before serving if desired.Bon appetit. Cathryn Herriot

Melt the butter.Pull all the little leaves off the rosemary sprig and drop into the melted butter. Add the lemon zest now too, if you so choose.Sift all the dry ingredients into the melted butter.Stir together, and then press together with your hands until it all comes together.Roll it out to about 1.25 cm thick and cut out shapes using cookie cutters. OR Press into a baking tray about 1.25 cm thick, gently prick with a fork (you will have to cut into fingers as soon as it comes out the oven.Bake at 150°C for 25mins. Sprinkle with castor sugar while still hot.

Rosemary for RemembranceDon't let the presence of a savoury herb in this buttery treat flummox you. These shortbread cookies are delightful and can be made even more fragrant by adding the zest of one lemon.

ROSEMARY SHORTBREAD

250g butter1 sprig of fresh rosemary (20cm)zest of 1 lemon 2 cups flour1 cup cornflour1 cup icing sugarcastor sugar for dusting

A winter warmer

1 kg pumpkin 1 large onion2 cloves garlic¼ cup cold water1½ tsp vegetable stock granules½ tsp nutmeg3 cups boiling water¼ cup cream (optional) or thick Greek yoghurt1½ tsp chicken stock granules1½ tsp sugar

This is a really easy and delicious winter soup. Instructions here use a microwave – but it can be cooked just as easily on the stove. It can be stretched using one or two potatoes if you so desire. If you don’t have stock granules – a couple of stock cubes will be fine. Use any member of the pumpkin family. 6 – 8 servings.

PUMPKIN SOUP

STANFORD RIVER TALK 13

vet talkBy Stanford veterinarian, Dr Olga Koorts

Is it normal for cats and dogs to eat strange and offensive things?People are often concerned about odd eating behaviours displayed by their pets. Eating strange things may simply be offensive but sometimes it indicates underlying disease. Plant and grass eating is normal behaviour for cats and dogs. Grass eating animals are natural prey for members of the dog family. The intestines are often eaten first. Remember even a Chihuahua is related to a wolf and will sometimes eat grass to fulfil a nutritional need. Roughly 60% of cats will, literally, go wild for catnip. The active ingredient in this herb is thought to act as a hallucinogen but eating it will not have any long term effects. Garbage eating seems to be ’normal’ behaviour too. Wild cats and dogs are opportunists and will often eat carcasses left by other animals. Unfortunately consuming garbage might lead to symptoms like diarrhoea, vomiting, seizures or even death due to intoxication. Coprophagia, the ingestion of faeces, is a much more offensive behaviour to owners. This is common in dogs and regarded as a behavioural problem by vets. Correcting this disorder is often difficult and will involve measures such as creating an aversion to eating faeces. Bitches and queens will normally eat the excreta from their offspring. Pica, a craving for and ingestion of non food items, is often an indication of disease. These animals might eat objects like stones or lick concrete or the ashes left in a fireplace. A curious abnormality in cats is wool chewing and sucking. There seems to be a greater tendency for this in Burmese and Siamese cats but the reasons behind it are poorly understood.

You can't account for taste

geskiendenis stories

Are you the proud owner of a piece of heaven in our village?Do you need someone reliable to take care of your property?

Contact us to discuss your house management.We can take care of all aspects of your home while you are away.We will market and let your property for weekends and holidays,

or prepare it for your arrival.

Holiday Home Specialists

Contact Ansie : 082 3200 982 or 028 341 0965ansierei@gmail.com / enquiries@stanfordcountrycottages.co.za

www.stanfordcountrycottages.co.za

Lank gelede was daar watertwis in Stanford. Die dorp kry water uit die Oog maar die meeste het see toe geloop. Vir 24 jaar is niks gedoen om pype na die dorp te verbeter nie terwyl die dorp gegroei het en inwoners groente wou plant. Toe kom waterbeperkings, maar niemand steur hul daaraan nie – die dorp het mos volop water. Almal kla en Sas (Hoender) De Kock word as waterfiskaal aangestel. Hy sou R2 per dagvaarding kry en in twee maande dagvaar hy agt mense in die dorp. Een was Tant Nellie de Villiers (83 jaar). Dit was die grootste hofsaak in Stanford en die hofsaaltjie was stampvol beskuldiges en nuuskieriges. Baie moes buite staan. Adv. Olivier en die staatsaanklaer kom ooreen om een beskuldigde as toets te verhoor en Tant Nellie word gekies. Met haar voorskoot en Voortrekkerkappie, sê sy sy’s reg. Eerste staatsgetuie was stadsklerk Willie du Toit wat verduidelik waarom ’n waterfiskaal aangestel is. Op ’n vraag van Landdros Gildenhuys of die munisipaliteit ooit na die dorp se behoeftes gekyk het, sê Du Toit dat die raad aangeneem het dat die watervoorraad voldoende is. Die waterfiskaal was die tweede staatsgetuie. Hy het vertel hoe hy Tant Nellie met ’n tuinslang betrap het. Hy het nie geweet nie wat sy natspuit nie. Adv Olivier: ‘Sy kon op haar voete gespuit het?’ Oom Sas: ‘Nee, sy spuit goed wat daar staan.’ Adv Olivier: ‘Dis laksheid van die munisipaliteit dat die dorp nie water het nie’ Landdros Gildenhuys gee die volgende uitspraak: ‘Dis met die onwilligheid dat ek Tant Nellie skuldig bevind. Sy het ’n regulasietjie oortree wat ek minag’. Die sake teen die ander sewe beskuldigdes word teruggetrek. Die spanning is verby… onder gelag begin sommige hande klap.

SJ du Toit

Stanford se watersaak

WATER COURT CASE: Water restrictions in Stanford were being ignored and the municipality appointed an official to report anyone breaking the restriction rules. After eight people were caught, a court case followed; residents filled the small court hall. Tant Nellie de Villiers was heard as a test case. Magistrate Gildenhuys ruled that the municipality had not improved the water supply to the village for 24 years. The case against the others was withdrawn.

STANFORD RIVER TALK 14

art & culture

ANDRE‘S GARDEN, MAINTENANCE

AND REPAIR SERVICESbased in and operating from Stanford

NO JOB TOO SMALL

* Irrigation installation, maintenance & repair* Clearing, weeding & weed control, pruning* Refuse removal* General handyman services (eg. tiling, repairs, small building jobs etc)* Pool maintenance

ANDRE DU TOIT 083 276 6614Email: andre.p.dutoit@gmail.com

Please email your Stanford photographs, snaps and kiekies to us at philippa.murray@gmail.com. We love looking through them and choosing the best one for our cover shot. If your photo is chosen, you receive that issue free.

PLAYING BY EAR

BOOK REVIEW

Dave Brubeck died on me and I missed it! Jazz pianist Dave Brubeck, whose choice of novel, intelligent rhythms, classical structures and brilliant sidemen that made him a towering figure in modern jazz, died at the age of 91 on 5 December 2012. How did I miss that? The Dave Brubeck Quartet (DBQ formed in 1951, San Francisco) released one of the best-selling cool jazz tunes of all time: Take Five was composed by his alto saxophonist Paul Desmond (d. 1977). Like many of DBQ’s prestigious outpourings, it had an unusual beat – 5/4 time as opposed to the usual 4/4*. He was totally unconventional and unparalleled as a jazz pianist – he co-wrote and recorded Unsquare Dance, Blue Rondo a la Turk, Bossa Nova USA, Three to get Ready and hundreds more. All young, promising jazz keyboard aspirants and even the not-so-young wrinklies like me have probably experienced the puzzling incompatibility of a time signature which signals five beats or indeed nine beats in a bar when four is regarded as normal for swing jazz. Take Five was the first million-selling jazz single. If you have the vinyl version (Time Out, 1959) it might be worth something. Check your collection. I know someone in Stanford who has that LP. Canadian, Deanna Durbin once known as America’s Sweetheart of Song died at the age of 91 on 30 April 2013. She is remembered, certainly by me, as a young ‘Judy Garland’ type, up-and-coming star in films such as 'Three Smart Girls', and '100 Men and a Girl' (a film all about a bunch of musicians in the Depression Era of the 1930s seeking work, unlike the more recent musical 'Nine' (2009) with

21 gorgeous leggy women and one man – a must-watch!). Deanna is best remembered working with Ray Milland (had an affair with Grace Kelly!), Mickey Rooney and Robert Stack ('Unsolved Mysteries'). Her version of Danny Boy and Nessum Dorma, is easily found on YouTube. She never made it to the Broadway stage; neither did Dire Straits. Winston Churchill and I were big fans of Deanna. In deference to Hatman, I remain on good terms with DS.* For the musically inclined, the time signature 5/4 in sheet music, or scores in general, looks like a simple fraction and informs the musician that there will be 5 equal quarter (1/4) beats (crotchet) in a measure or bar.

So long, and thanks for all the jazzAndrew Herriot salutes the memory of two exceptional entertainers.

Sweetheart of song: Deanna was one in a million.

Dave Brubeck Quartet: Brubeck and his stellar sidemen.

WATCH THIS SPACE: AN EXCITING BROADWAY SHOW IS PLANNED FOR STANFORD IN DECEMBER 2013.

'Sweet Tooth', Ian McEwan, 2012

Karen McKee is impressed by McEwan's understanding of the fairer sex.

The latest McEwan instalment did not disappoint. The protagonist, Serena Frome, is a well-read young graduate from Cambridge. She is beautiful and clever, and is employed by the British Secret Service for a secret mission. Her task is to enter the literary world of a promising young author and to monitor his life under the guise of funding 'culture'. Things start to go wrong when she falls in love not only with his writing, but also with the writer, and she finds herself in an impossible situation as it gets harder to maintain her fictional undercover life. McEwan’s talent for relating an opposite sex viewpoint shows a rare understanding of the female psyche and made for a rather languid but interesting story. After reading ‘Atonement’ I was on my guard towards the end and rightly so, as it provided an unexpected yet oddly satisfying resolution. It is a well-honed intellectual piece that I can recommend to those who like theory and books, reminiscent of William Boyd’s ‘Restless’.

STANFORD RIVER TALK 15

TEEN TALK

art & cultureOUT OF THE HAT

Ruby Walne lets the cat out of the bag and spills the secret of her Gang of Seven

Just recently some friends and I started a club. We had to decide on a name, so we put the initials of the club leaders together and we got RSA club. We were happy with it. At first we only had four members in our club but it soon grew to seven members – Ruby Walne, Sara Walne, Anna Mae Troost, Christopher Gouws, Bryoni Baxter, Juno Dawson and Irie Dawson. Now that we had our club members together we needed a club house. My mom suggested we clean out the shed and we got to work. It had piles of sand on the floor, holes in the roof, cobwebs in the corners and it was very dusty. My mom had also used it for storage. We took everything out and started to sweep. After hours of hard labour we stood back and looked at it. We liked it so much that we decided that it would make the perfect club house. Now for the important part ... we needed a reason to have a club. We decided that we wanted to help people and animals. We wash cars to earn money to fix the club house but when that is done, all further money will go to charity. We help people find missing dogs, and we solve mysteries. So if you have lost a pet, need help with anything or if you would like your car washed, be sure to let us know! Contact Ruby on 072 753 8411.

I am one of the lucky ones. I seldom, if ever, am confronted with writer’s block. Written words, if not those of the verbal variety, flow unhindered. I woke up this morning knowing I needed to write this column today. I woke up also thinking of a poetry festival I am going to this weekend, of why I am so rubbish at writing poetry, the glacial 14-year-old blonde with dimples and light-dancing Mediterranean-blue inlets for eyes on whom I had an interminable crush at high school ... and what the hell Archie was barking at this time of the morning. He stopped. I went back. To what I call my ‘head-swim’ - that exquisitely slow awakening of brain synapses experienced before one’s eyes properly open in the dawn of one’s day. I remembered that I had heard that Glacial Blonde was now married to a lawyer, lived in a large house surrounded by a white picket fence that got stripped, sanded and painted every six months, had three model children and never missed an episode of Whose Fat Is It Anyway? (Fiji edition). I was now at least semi-awake and thinking about the McGregor Poetry Festival, whether I could fit in Neil Young, Patti Smith and Leonard Cohen Live in London (double CD) over the gloriously grumbly grit road between Stormsvlei and McGregor. And this column. I was wondering what on earth I was going to write about. Perhaps I should try to get away with inflicting my amateur poetry on you, while being inspired by the thought of the letting of the lifecraft of Finuala Dowling and Bev Rycroft literally salvage and salve my battered being this weekend. But I like you. And you, you and you. And, yes, I even love you. So, with a brain seemingly bereft of humankind-related thought patterns, let alone any semblance of doing any poetic form justice, I vowed not to take a liberty. I would make a cup of tea, and take the dogs for a walk. That should shift the fog of unseasonal eye-surfing on blue-glacial tides, ideal-home picket fencing and very fat Fijians. Archie McNaartjie, Dodney Doodlebug and old Auntie Vera burst into My Secret Spot near the dam, followed fairly closely by me – with my mind lagging lumpenly behind. When all the bits of our Blue Moon caravanserai had reconvened, I did what I always do. I threw the stick into the dam. Dogs chased. Dogs swam. Dogs retrieved. Dogs fought. Dogs barked. Horses neighed. Yes, they did. And then something remarkable happened. Everything went quiet. For about 13 seconds. And, in that mind-cleansing tiny tidbit of time, this slithered in ...

No flitting dragonfly, no fish eagle cry, only above me this cloud-shredded blue sky,

No dog that barked, not an unseen frog kraaked, and before me, my-oh-my...

A vision in the rapidly stilling waters lay, of a woman I had long not seen,

She was not beautiful, nor blue-eyed or dimple-cheeked... or fourteen...

No, she rose up gently from the now-distorted mirror of my false reflection,

To tell me of my truth... and the reality of my maudlin heart's clear direction.

Fred Hatman

How I finally melted the gigantic glacier of writer’s block

tastings, cheese shopplaypark

7 km outside Stanford on Route 326 028 341 0693 | www.kleinrivercheese.co.za

Weekdays 9-5 Saturdays 9-1 Picnics closed for winter

On prose and poetry Secret Seven

in Stanford

STANFORD RIVER TALK 16

VILLAGE LAUNDROMAT

25 Queen Victoria st, Cell: 072 616 0976

Washing • Ironing • Tumble Drying Dry Cleaning Services

Mon – Fri, 8.00am – 5pm

There is an HONESTY BOX at Stanfordinfo where you can pay for your classifieds. Please enclose the amount in an envelope. SMALL ADS: R1 a word • BOXED ADS: R85 info@stanfordrivertalk.co.za • cell: 079 291 1588

classifieds

guided multi-day trails & outrides along the whale coast

& through unspoilt nature reserves.+27 (0) 82 667 9232 omstables@telkomsa.netwww.africanhorseco.com

AFRICAN HORSECOMPANY

SM VERKOELING

Tel: 087 808 2175Sakkie Myburgh 083 771 0753Alle huishoudelike herstelwerk

FOR SALEBLACK GUMBOOTS Size 6, R50. p 082 815 0054.CHILDS DIAMOND BACK BICYCLE needs new tyres. R350.onco.p 082 815 0054.FIREWOOD FOR SALE p 082 324 6799 or 079 395 1763.GIRL’S BICYCLE (purple and pink) in good condition. To suit a 7-9 year old. R250. p 083 675 1116.HELMET for bicycle/scateboard/motorbike R200. p 082 815 0054.TWO DOLLY VARDEN DRESSING TABLES with drawers, price negotiable p 079 291 1588. WATER PURIFYER, R200 p 082 815 0054.

SERVICESADULT HORSE RIDING CLASSES. p Jake Uys on 079 468 9060.ANYONE INTERESTED IN ZUMBA classes in Stanford, please p Bunty 082 788 1788.AVAILABLE TO CLEAN HOUSES, offices etc, with contactable refs, for an efficient and professional clean, please p 083 759 5374.EXCELLENT HOUSE-CLEANING Highly recommended, honest & reliable char. For reference p Lana 028 341 0349.RELIABLE & HONEST PAINTER. No job too small. Contactable references p Wilson on 072 223 2511.SPECIALIZED KEYBOARD JAZZ TEACHING. p Andrew Herriot at 072 5717 846 or aherriot70@gmail.com for more info. First lesson free.

WANTEDp BOY’S BIKE in good condition suitable for a 10 year old. Phone 083 675 1116.LONG/THREE SEATER settee in good condition.p 028 341 0077.

Gorgeous garden solar lights to light up paths, plants and trees. Path lights from R50 each to Bali lanterns R200. Call Pamela Trevelyan for advice and view lighting at Villa di Baia. Sales at Warehouse prices direct to the public. You will NOT find prices like this in Cape Town. We import direct from Singapore.

Pamela 082 336 1573 ladyp@iafrica.com

Solar Garden Lights

Saturday July 20 : Shotgun Tori - Alt/folk singer

songwriter R50 per person tickets @ Stanford Hotel Bottle Store.

reservations@stanfordvillage.co.zaphone: 082 7811 704.

reservations@stanfordvillage.co.za.

STANFORD RIVER TALK 17

wee

kly

timet

able

NG GEMEENTE STANFORD Sondae 9:30 in die kerkgebou. Office, tel 028 3410 966.ST THOMAS ANGLICAN CHURCH Morton St, contact Father Joseph Gabriëls 028 3410588First Sunday of the month 10:30 Communion (Afr). Second Sunday of the month 10:30 Service (Afr)Third Sunday of the month 08:00 Communion (Eng) Fourth Sunday of the month 10:30 Service (Afr)FULL GOSPEL CHURCH OF GOD cnr Queen Victoria & Bezuidenhout St. 09:30 Sunday service. Pastor Johnny van der Schyff • 028 3410 422.VG KERK (next to De Bron School) 10:00 Sunday morning. Maureen Diedericks 028 3410 691.STANFORD UNITED CHURCH, meets at St Thomas Church, Morton St. Interdenominational.English service at 6pm Sunday. Bible Study, 7pm Tuesday night at 45 Queen Victoria St. Secretary Kerri Brokensha 028 341 0077.

WHERE TO WORSHIP IN STANFORD

Monday 8h30am, Monday & Wednesday 5h30pm, Friday 10h30am Maitri Yoga, 35 Longmarket, Tasha Saha, 076 968 8608.Monday 5h30 to 6h45pm Vinyasa Yoga with Leli, 082 350 0253. Monday 5h15pm, Running Time Trials 5km, corner Adderley and Longmarket, last Monday of each month at Stanford Hills Estate.Monday & Wednesday, 5pm, Canoeing, Slipway Church St, John Finch 028 341 0444, Jan Malan 082 452 9877.Tuesday & Thursday 5pm to 6pm, Tae Bo, Okkie Smuts school hall, Ronnie 083 655 4521.Tuesday & Thursday 5.30pm, Cycling, cnr de Bruin & Moore Sts, Sunday 6am Caltex Garage David Morrison 082 321 7996, John Finch 082 378 1935. Tuesdays 8h30 - 9h45pm Iyengar Yoga with Marianne, Stanford Hotel, Conference Room in Courtyard, Leli 082 35 0253Tuesdays 9 - 10ham Yoga for beginners with Leli, Stanford Hotel, Conference Room in Courtyard, Leli 082 35 0253Wednesday, 6.30pm, Stanford Rotary Club Meeting, G & F restaurant. Everyone welcome. Thursdays 8h30 - 9h45am Vinyasa Yoga with Leli, Stanford Hotel, Conference Room in Courtyard, Leli 082 35 0253Friday, 5pm, Canoe Time Trials, Slipway Church St, John Finch 028 341 0444, Jan Malan 082 452 9877.Saturday, 10am – 12pm, Stanford Saturday Morning Market, Art Gallery Courtyard, 028 3410 591.

028 - 3410 961

Cosy cattery and kennel in lovely country atmosphere.

Qualified dog trainer.

Well balanced diets, love and care.

RAINFALL STATISTICS SUPPLIED BY Jake Uys

2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 ave

Jan 11.5 12 8.5 19 14 35 37 22.4

Feb 39.5 25 11 17.5 20 16 16 20.7

March 49 27 20.5 20 26 28.5 29 27.8

April 70 21.5 27.6 30 56 53.3 54 48.9

May 45 31.5 55 66.5 83 43.5 55 54.2

June 75.5 50.5 106.3 91.5 88 86 84 83

July 102.5 76 97.5 43 56 103 87.8

Aug 66.5 71.5 89 46 74 125 76.6

Sept 49.8 74 88 35.5 25.5 73 53.2

Oct 73 39.5 92 50 25 111.5 64.5

Nov 89.5 91 31 57 42 26 58.8

Dec 37 35 6 40 23.5 6 33

Year 708.8 554.5 632.4 459 533 708 41.3

TIDE TABLEWe received one sms asking us to continue publishing the tide table.

Please let us know if you miss it. Sandra 079 523 8453.

STANFORD RIVER TALK 18

local services & facilities List your business for just R12 a month (only R144/year). Email: info@stanfordrivertalk.co.za or telephone 07929 11588.

ACCOMMODATIONA Country Escape 082 320 0982Beloftebos Cottages 082 391 5331B‘s Cottage 028 341 0430Blue Gum Country Estate 028 341 0116De Klein Rivers Valley 028 341 0048Fairhill Nature Reserve 079 495 2971Morton Cottage 082 450 3970Mosaic Farm 028 313 2814Oak Grove Farm 082 091 3914Reiersvlei Farm Lodge 082 213 0512Reed Cottage 028 341 0984Walshacres Riverside 082 614 6322Stanford River Lodge 028 341 0444The Country Cottage 083 553 0663Villa di Baia 082 336 1573

ACCOUNTING & TAX SERVICESMaryke Brandt 072 172 9545

ALTERATIONSCaitlin‘s Dressmaking 083 358 6365

ANTIQUES/FURNITURESir Robert Stanford 028 341 0048

ARCHITECTUREGuy Whittle 076 113 2741Maureen Wolters 082 450 3970

ARTS, CRAFTS & GIFTSOns Winkel 028 341 0647Traderoots 084 643 4504

BEAUTY AND WELLNESSLa Femme 028 313 0660

BONDS/ HOME LOANSTania Weich 084 728 7345

BOOKS Sir Robert Stanford 028 341 0048

CAR CAREJ & J Motorwerke 028 341 0410 071 219 9212COMPUTERS Compuworld SMB Solutions 028 341 0718 084 705 6719

CONFERENCE CENTREMosaic Farm 028 313 2814

CONSTRUCTIONStanford Bricks 028 341 0685

DRIVING SCHOOLDrive with Cait 083 358 6365

ELECTRICIANH.C.D Electrical 079 182 8825

ENGINEERSJardine Consulting Engineers 082 359 2287

ESTATE AGENTSMarlene‘s Properties 082 732 1284 028 341 0929Michael Thompson Estates 074 126 7770 Pam Golding 028 341 0708Stanford Village Properties 082 893 2282 072 111 9321

FIREWOODWalshacres 028 341 0685 082 898 4889

GARDENS & NURSERIES Krige Tree Services 082 658 0427Walshacres 028 341 0685Willowdale Nursery 082 899 1172

HAIRJeanne Retief 072 318 2478

HOUSE MANAGEMENTStanford Country Cottages 082 320 0982Village Laundromat 072 616 0976

HOME MAINTENANCEStanford Country Cottages 082 320 0982

INTERIORSKiwinet 028 341 0209Maureen Wolters 082 450 3970

LEGAL Alcock & Associates, Attorneys & Conveyancers 074 126 7770

NEWSPAPERStanford River Talk 079 291 1588

OUTDOOR ACTIVITIESAfrican Queen River Cruises 082 732 1284 028 3410 929Klein River Picnics 028 3410 693Platanna River Cruises 073 318 5078River Rat Boat Cruises 083 310 0952

PETS & PET CAREStanford Kennels 028 341 0961Syringa Country Kennels 028 341 0961

PRINTING & PUBLISHINGThe Really Famous Publishing CC 079 291 1588

RESTAURANTS1892 Stanford Spookhuis 028 313 2814Art Café Stanford Gallery 028 341 0301Barke Restaurant 028 341 0116Havercroft‘s 028 3410 603Madré‘s Kitchen 028 341 0647 The Stanford Table 028 341 0059

SECURITYJSK Wrought Iron 083 591 9600Safe Security 028 341 0801

SEPTIC TANK TREATMENT Bob Hadley 082 901 9011

STORAGE Stanford Storage 082 950 6007

TAXI SERVICEAnytime Transfers 082 858 6765

TRUCKS & TRANSPORTStanford Bricks 028 341 0685

WEDDING VENUESMosaic Farm 028 313 2814Sir Robert Stanford Estate 028 341 0647Stanford Hotel 082 781 1704

WINE CELLAR & SALESSir Robert Stanford Estate 028 3410 647Springfontein Wine Estate 028 341 0651 072 371 7546Stanford Hills Estate 028 3410 841

STANFORD - RETICULATED DRINKING WATER RESULTSEscherichia coli (E.coli) – bacteria that is a normal inhabitant of the human intestine. Its presence in a sample indicates pollution from human faeces.Total Coliform bacteria – is the name for all the bacteria that produce gas and acid from the fermentation of lactose and its presence in a sample indicates pollution from the intestines of both humans and animals.Heterotrophic Plate Count – is a standard microbiological method used to determine the efficiency of operations to remove or destroy organisms, good and bad, during the treatment process.

DETERMINANT APRIL MAY

E. coli STANDARD (0/100ml) 0 0

Total Coliform bacteria STANDARD (10/100ml) 1 0

Heterotrophic Plate Count STANDARD (5000/100ml) 22 0

STANFORD - RIVER WATER RESULTSThe treated sewerage outlet point into the Kleinriver is at the slipway at the end of Du Toit Street. The stream in the middle of town, starting in the dip in De Bruyn Street, is partly fed by the treated effluent from the waste water treatment works which gets complemented only in winter, by the overflow of the two dams in the middle of town. The two sampling points for the river are thus respectively known as under and above the treated sewerage outlet point.

Determinant (e. Coli)Standard0-130/100ml

Under treated Sewerage Outlet poin(Jetty next to erf 396)

Above treated Sewerage Outlet point (Bridge R43 to Hermanus)

APRIL 47 47

MAY 14 20

WATER TESTING

STANFORD RIVER TALK 19

Celebrations in StanfordIf there is a birthday coming up or special occasion you want to share with the village please email design@stanfordrivertalk.co.za

Belinda Heald 28 July

Tasha Saha28 July

Joe van Huyssteen 26 July

Tony Roper 7 July

Viv Gravenor 12 July

Ripley Robertshaw, turns two on 6 July

Andrew Herriot7 July

Rasheed Khota 10 July

Gian Bester23 July

Blou Leask23 July

Ronja Conrad 2 July

Melinda Jacobs2 July

Kilian Conrad 20 July

Craig Templer 20 July

Stanford's regular weekender, Henning Schimanke, turns naughty forty on 2 July and will be celebrating this milestone in his favourite village at the Speakeasy.

New Home Loans Further Loans on Existing Bonds Building Bonds

Tania Weich - Executive Homeloans Consultant 084 728 7345 tania@copestone.co.za