sorted magazine : march / april 2014

3Sorted. Mar/Apr 2014

Vol. 8 | No. 2 | Mar/Apr 2014 www.sorted-magazine.com

Cover pictures: REX/Steve Bisgrove and Getty Images

ACTION6 Military Matters

with Flt Lt Jonny ‘JP’ Palmer

11 The Bear Facts with Bear Grylls

12 Let There Be Lights

COLUMNISTS16 Diamond Geezer with Ant Delaney

18 Your Will, Mott Mine with Alex Willmott

21 Compassion with Kate Sharma

CULTURE22 Movies with Martin Leggatt

24 Television with Emily Russell

25 Gaming with Jim Lockey

26 DVD & Blu Ray with Martin Leggatt

28 Books with Mark Anderson

29 Music with Sue Rinaldi

LIFESTYLE31 Cars with Tim Barnes‐Clay

34 Six of the Best… Cool Runnings

36 Top Gear – Gadgets and gizmos galore

38 Gadget Geek with Paul Hurst

40 Sixty Second Life Coach with Peter Horne

BUSINESS64 We’re in Business

with Charles Humphreys65 Making Your Mark with Stuart Rivers66 Relationology with Matt Bird67 Bolder and Boulder with Martin Carter67 Collective Action with Martin Thomas

ADVICE70 Smart Talk73 Big Questions with Jonathan Sherwin

OPINION74 Money with Jon Cobb75 Family with Richard Hardy76 Faith with Sam Gibb77 Politics with Lyndon Bowring78 Cut to the Chase with Lee and Baz

SPORT80 Joel Ward talks faith and football

86 What do the Premier League and theChurch have in common?

HEALTH & FITNESS90 Fitness with Phil Baines

91 Healthy Cooking with Mike Darracott

HUMOUR92 Kneel‐Down Stand‐Up with Paul Kerensa

95 In Vino Veritas with Tony Vino

COMMENT96 Lucas Aid with Jeff Lucas

98 The Last Word with Carl Beech

FEATURES

80

60

5011

41

56

41 The Boys Are Back in TownJoy Tibbs takes a trip down memorylane with Brian Littrell from theBackstreet Boys

44 Search for the Leader WithinDesperate and suicidal, Luke Havardfelt there was no way back, but onepivotal moment turned his life around

50 The Secret Life of Ben StillerBen Stiller on life, love and avoidingsharks in the North Sea

54 Out of a Clear Blue SkyBeing a doctor does not make dealingwith cancer any easier, as RichardScott shares

56 Hands‐On ArtUp‐and‐coming artist Kyle Barnes isalready winning prizes

60 Resurrection of a VisionJesus Saves is back in the race andenjoying poll position on a regularbasis



Up FrontSTEVE LEGG

Sorted.

Founding Editor Steve Leggsteve@sorted‐magazine.com

Deputy Editor Joy Tibbsjoy@sorted‐magazine.com

Sports Editor Stuart Weir

Marketing & AdvertisingRebekah Taylor

rebekah@sorted‐magazine.comDuncan WilliamsTel: 07960 829615

[email protected]

Design Andy Ashdown Designwww.andyashdowndesign.co.uk

Print Halcyonwww.halcyonline.co.uk

Distribution COMAG

© Sorted Magazine 2014

Sorted is published by Son Christian Media (SCM) Ltd.

The acceptance of advertising does not indicate editorial endorsement.

SCM holds names and addresses on computer for thepurpose of mailing in accordance with the termsregistered under the Data Protection Act 1984.

Sorted is protected by copyright and nothing may beproduced wholly or in part without prior permission.

Ihave a long and distinguished list ofmoments that can only be describedas ‘fails’. They range from turningmyself into the jolly green giant after amishap with a fence sprayer todiscovering that the wardrobe I had

just spent three hours on had somehow beenput together backwards. Another was takingmy wife to a Neil Diamond musicalspectacular as a birthday treat, only to discoverthat she doesn’t like Neil Diamond.

These were all fails, but they wereunintentional ones. They were meant to betriumphs. I’d planned and worked to achieve andsucceed and, if I’m honest, to impress. I didn’t.

I’ve spent the last six months planning andtraining to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. I’mdoing it to raise money for Compassion, anorganisation I’m passionate about. It liftschildren and whole families out of poverty andreleases them to realise their potential. It’s aprivilege to partner with Compassion; anorganisation that succeeds time and again.

This climb, though, is another thing. I’m nota mountain climber, I’ve got dodgy knees andthe thought of sleeping rough gives me theshivers. But I’ve worked really hard to get ready.I’ve been walking miles every day with the dog,had vaccinations, taken tablets and generallybecome obsessed with the whole thing. But asfit as I’ve become and as loaded up withprophylactics as I am, there’s one thing that’stotally out of my control, and it could totallyfail the whole operation: altitude sickness.

Five years ago, Chris Moyles and Gary Barlowclimbed the same mountain. Against the odds,it was Moyles that found it easiest of the two.A couple of months ago the lads were givingRobbie Savage grief on Match of the Day

because he succumbed to altitude sicknessand couldn’t get to the top.

If I’m being frank, I don’t like failing. I avoidsituations where I think it’s possible, let aloneprobable, and persistence takes on a wholenew meaning when it could mean thedifference between succeeding and failing. Isucceed; it’s what drives me.

OUR MACHISMO CANLIMIT WHAT WE’REPREPARED TO DO ANDI’M NOT JUST TALKINGABOUT CLIMBING AMOUNTAIN.

So this climb is a different kind of challengefor me, beyond the physical training andmedical preparation. It’s facing up to thepossibility of failure, accepting that it mighthappen and getting my head around the factthat it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

It’s quite a liberating thought. It opens up awhole new range of possibilities; things Iwould previously never have considered doingbecause I couldn’t be sure of the outcome. Ourmachismo can limit what we’re prepared to doand I’m not just talking about climbing amountain. Because let’s face it, it’s a prettycool thing to say you’ve done regardless.

But there are some conversations we don’tface and emotions we don’t acknowledgebecause we have no idea how to navigatethem. We’re afraid we’ll get it wrong, terrifiedof failure.

The thing I’ve learned is this: real failure liesin not trying in the first place. Not trying tohave that difficult conversation with yourteenage daughter, not telling your wife thehundred things you love about her, not lookingfor a way to fix that broken relationship withyour family or not finding the words toapologise for your mistakes. You might not getit the right first time, but you’ll learn as you goalong and you’ll be further along the road tosuccess if you take that first step.

So, I’m climbing the mountain and I may notget to the top. But either way it’s going to bethe achievement of a lifetime. n

Steve Legg

FOUNDING [email protected]

SteveLeggUK

Hashtag FAIL

ContactSorted Magazine

PO Box 3070, Littlehampton, West Sussex, BN17 6WX, UK

Tel: 01903 732190

E‐mail: steve@sorted‐magazine.com

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Find us on Facebook:Sorted Men’s Magazine

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ACTION

Military MattersFLT LT JONNY ‘JP’ PALMER

Sorted. Mar/Apr 2014 6

RISE OF THECHALLENGER

You might consider the weekly crossword a bit of a challenge. Try navigating the Chally 2 through a warzone…


ACTION


BY FLIGHT LIEUTENANT JONNY ‘JP’ PALMER

There has never been another sportsmanto equal him, either in or out of the ring.Muhammad Ali was a man who wouldrather be jailed and stripped of his titlesthan compromise his beliefs andidentity.

But it wasn’t always thus, as he was once a 12‐year‐oldboy and furious at having his bike stolen. Telling thepolice officer (an amateur boxing coach) how he wasgoing to ‘whup’ the thief eventually led him to anamateur record of 100 wins and an Olympic Gold beforehis professional career saw Ali lift the WorldHeavyweight Champion’s belt three times.

Sports Illustrated crowned him Sportsman of theCentury, while the BBC amassed more votes in his favourthan for George Best, Pelé, Donald Bradman, JackNicklaus and Jesse Owens combined. Such was themeteoric rise of the ultimate challenger.

In the same year that Ali was unanimously voted BBCSports Personality of the Century, another Challenger wascarving out its reputation. In 1999, the FV4034 Challenger2 Main Battle Tank (MBT) completed its in‐service testsand was accepted into the Royal Armoured Corpsinventory. ‘Chally 2’, as it is affectionately known by tankcrews, shares little more than a name with its predecessor,as it is an entirely new build from the ground up.

“COMMANDING A TANK IS ABIT LIKE TRYING TO RUBYOUR TUMMY AND PAT YOURHEAD AT THE SAME TIME,BUT THERE’S NO DENYINGTHAT CUTTING AROUND IN70 TONNES OF ARMOUR ISGREAT FUN.”

At the heart of her tracked chassis is the 1200hp Perkins26.6‐litre CV12 engine and a fuel tank with a capacity of1,727 litres, equivalent to that of 35 family cars. Her all‐electric turret can complete a full 360‐degre rotation inonly nine seconds and her L30A1 120mm diameter barrelis the only rifled tank gun in the NATO inventory,spinning the shells and delivering them to the targetwith greater accuracy and range.

When this Challenger steps into the ring, it takes withit 49 main armament shells, a mix of armour‐piercing,high explosive and smoke rounds, allowing it to engageeverything from enemy tanks to occupied buildings withease. While you might think this would pack enoughpunch, the tank’s armoury also boasts a 550‐round‐perminute L94A1 chain gun, a pintle‐mounted general‐purpose machine gun (GPMG) and ten smoke grenadedischargers.

Crews operating in war are able to operate further heavyweapons from under the armour, thanks to a RemoteWeapons Station (RWS) mounted on the turret, whichallows the Chally 2 to be as cocky as Ali when he claimedhe could “float like a butterfly and sting like a bee”.

What really rattles the UK’s adversaries at weigh‐in,though, is the realisation that this Challenger just won’tbe stung, with its secret ‘Chobham’ armour making itone of the most heavily armoured tanks in the world.While its construction is secret, this armour is believedto absorb a weapon’s energy through a series of metalalloy and ceramic layers and has been battle proven timeand again in Iraq.

In April 2003, she stumbled upon a unit of Saddam’selite Republican Guard sporting heavy machine gunsand rocket‐propelled grenades (RPGs). The Challenger2’s sights were damaged and its tracks were blown off,leaving it immobilised in a ditch while 14 RPGs scoreddirect hits from close range. The crew sat tight in thesafety of the tank until it was recovered for repairs. Sixhours later, it was back on the road.

One man who knows his fair share about armouredvehicles is Major Simon Maggs of the Queen’s RoyalHussars. “I cut my teeth on Challenger 1 in the latenineties,” he tells Sorted. “It takes a good five months toget to grips with all aspects of the vehicle – including theroles of driver, gunner and loader – before you canbecome a tank commander.

“When you take over your troop of three tanks, youquickly realise how dependent you are on the skill andexperience of the other 11 guys. You work in a very closeenvironment (it’s pretty snug in the turret) so there’s noroom for pretending! f

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ACTION

“Commanding a tank is a bit like trying to rub yourtummy and pat your head at the same time, whilstnavigating at 40mph without a compass. It’s mentallyvery demanding, but there’s no denying that cuttingaround in 70 tonnes of armour is great fun.”

When asked about the highlights of commanding atank, he says: “Live firing, which has to be seen to bebelieved, especially at night. Armour‐piercing roundstravel at one mile per second and the blast is so loud thatanyone nearby has to wear two pairs of ear defenders!

“Converting to Challenger 2 in 1999 was a massive stepchange. While Challenger 2 looked similar on theoutside, it had only 3% commonality with itspredecessor and everything about it was better. Whereasthe inside of the old turret looked like a dirty fuse box,the interior of Chally 2 was almost entirely white and anergonomic dream.

“For example, the firing handle was designed around aPlayStation controller, so all the buttons were literally atyour fingertips instead of having to twist around in yourseat to reach the controls. When firing the new tank, wefound that the sighting systems on Chally 2 were so

advanced that it was just as easy to hit targets on themove as when static. Previously, it was a bit hit and miss!

“In addition, the ‘Hunter‐Killer’ sight allowed thecommander to search for further targets while thegunner was engaging the first. Everything was faster. Acompetent crew with a good loader could comfortablyachieve a rate of eight rounds fired per minute, which isconsiderably faster than on earlier MBTs.”

It is this interest in vehicles that has shaped MajorMaggs’s career. “I have always been interested in the designof equipment, so it made sense for me to move from acombat background into a technical role,” he shares.

He recently returned from six months in Afghanistan,where he was responsible for the protection anddevelopment of some 2,000 British armoured vehicles ina warzone. “It was one of the most demanding butsatisfying tours I have been on,” he explains. “I wasconstantly working 100‐hour weeks, but seeing reallysatisfying results.

“For example, having completed a vehicle up‐armouring programme, a unit was hit by six roadsidebombs within a short period of time, but withoutsustaining a single casualty. When the boys walk awaywithout a scratch, then you know all the hard work hasbeen worthwhile.”

When asked whether being surrounded by armour orby his faith made him feel more protected in his job,Major Maggs smiles. “Challenger 2 is about the safesttank out there, but it’s also a pretty big target. In oneenvironment you could completely dominate thebattlefield and in another you could be quite vulnerable.Ultimately, it’s about understanding the context andgetting your tactics right.

“Layers of steel are no guarantee of survival, and youcan’t underestimate the importance of your spiritualarmour. No one is invincible, whatever our role orequipment, and deep down we all know it. There’s nodoubt in my mind, though, that you are much betterplaced to concentrate on the job in hand if you havemade your peace with God and have confidence thatyour eternal security is squared away.” n

Flight Lieutenant Jonny ‘JP’ Palmer joined the RAF in 2006 and has sinceflown in support of operations in Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya. Now aflying instructor, he lives with his wife and three children inLincolnshire. He is a proud member of the Armed Forces ChristianUnion (AFCU) and loves making Jesus known in the military. Followhim on Twitter @FollowJonnyP.

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ACTION

The Bear FactsBEAR GRYLLS

Bear Grylls is an adventurer, writer and television presenter. He is bestknown for his television series Born Survivor, known as Man Vs Wild inthe US, Canada, Australia and New Zealand. Bear spent three years inthe SAS and is one of the youngest Britons to climb Mount Everest,doing so at the age of 23. In July 2009, he became the youngest ever ChiefScout at the age of 35.

Intrepid explorer Bear Grylls recentlypenned a manual entitled A SurvivalGuide for Life. In it, he shares the hard‐earned lessons he has learned amid some of the harshest environmentson earth. This issue’s excerpt looks atstaying power.

But I had made a conscious decision to give this thingeverything. I was totally committed to the outcome,whatever the pain. So I lined up – again – next toanother 140 recruits – again – in the full knowledge thatonly a handful of us would be there by the end. I waswilling to give it my all for as long as it took. Elevenmonths later, and a whole host of sweat, pain and sleepdeprivation later, I was one of only four to pass and jointhe regiment.

GET USED TO FAILURE, AND SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS:A STEPPING STONE TO SUCCESS.

You have got to be dogged and fail a few times in life toget to where you want to go. Get used to failure, and seeit for what it is: a stepping stone to success. I wasn’t fitteror stronger or smarter than those who failed, I wassimply more determined to give it my all. I rememberduring selection, one recruit who had just quit turned tome and said, “You know the difference between me andyou, Bear? You’re just dumber than me.”

He confused the ability to suck up whatever pain theselection process could throw at us with being dumb,when really it was doing what was necessary to pass:quietly endure the lows in order to reach the highs.

Ultimately I made it through and that other recruit didn’t,even though he was a much more qualified andexperienced soldier than I was at that stage. You see, if youquit, you lose. But so long as you stick it out, you’re still inwith a chance. Life rewards the dogged, not the qualified.

As Harrison Ford once said: “Them that stick it out arethem that win.” n

Them That Stick It Out Are Them That Win

If you want to read on, we strongly recommendinvesting in a copy. It’savailable from all goodbookshops and online

retailers, and it could justhelp you make the

changes that you need tointroduce in order to turn

your life around.

Behind every successful person you’llundoubtedly find a string of failedattempts. We might not always notice thefailures (as the successes tend to blind us tothem), but to get to the success, thosepeople will inevitably have had to walk

through a good number of ‘failures’ first. It is just theway of the world: to get to the successes, you have got toget out there and commit to fail a few times first.

The key is not in the failures themselves, but in yourability to keep going. As Winston Churchill said:“Success is the ability to go from one failure to anotherwith no loss of enthusiasm.”

And it’s been my experience that the real differencebetween successful and unsuccessful people is simplythe dogged ability to keep going. Like enthusiasm, thedetermination to see things through to the very end isfrequently a more important factor in being successfulthan any qualifications or letters after your name.

I know from my own life that things would have beenradically different if I hadn’t committed to push throughthe many lows and failures along the road, and I nowtreat those lows as markers that I am doing somethingright!

For instance, I had – quite literally – hundreds andhundreds of letters of rejection when I tried to getsponsorship for my attempt on Everest. It was sodiscouraging to wake up to every day: another no,another blank. And many times I was tempted to give upthe dream.

But I was also determined that I was going to climbthat mountain. So I didn’t stop. I kept knocking on thosedoors and writing those letters. And guess what?Eventually I raised the funds I needed to undertake theexpedition.

Likewise, most people don’t realise that I failed SASselection the first time round.

People don’t talk about the failure; they only tend toremember the success.

SAS selection is tough to do once, but it is even harder thesecond time – knowing how physically and mentallyexhausting the process you have to go through will be. Notmany are willing to go through it twice, because it hurts.



ACTION

It’s not every day you can say that you are following inthe footsteps of Neil Armstrong, the world’s mostfamous astronaut and the first man to set foot on themoon. But last year I did exactly that when I visited aremote area in northern Iceland, where a group ofAmerican astronauts including Armstrong went in

1967 to train for that historic first moon landing. While their mission in Iceland was to familiarise

themselves with the geological formations, volcanic rockand other conditions thought to be most similar to thosefound on the moon, mine was to witness one of the mostincredible natural phenomena that can be seen righthere on Earth: the aurora borealis, or the NorthernLights as they are more often called. Althoughoccasionally visible in the UK, there is a much betterchance of seeing them if you go further north, and myquest brought me to Iceland.

Until five years ago, Iceland was considered anexpensive destination, but since the financial crisistriggered by the collapse of its banks it has become farmore affordable for visitors from the UK, with pricesmore or less in line with London prices. Add to this anincrease in solar activity, which means that the NorthernLights have been putting on some of their mostspectacular displays for a decade, and you can see whythe destination has been attracting more touristsrecently.

Our trip started in Reykjavik, a compact city filled withcoffee shops and cosy bars, where local guide Árnishowed us the sights. Many visitors to Iceland use thecapital as their base and leave only for day trips to thethermal Blue Lagoon or the ‘Golden Circle’ sights of theGullfoss waterfall, Geysir hot springs and ThingvellirNational Park. While these are must‐dos for the first‐

time visitor, those who wish to see the Northern Lightsstand a much better chance by venturing further afieldto Iceland’s sheltered north‐east, which has less lightpollution and clearer skies.

Explorers Tours has a 100% success rate on its NorthernLights tours, so it was with a sense of keen anticipationthat my group of fellow light‐seekers left Reykjavik andboarded a 40‐minute northbound flight to Akureyri, thecountry’s second city. On the short drive to LakeMývatn, we were treated to the kind of wild, ruggedscenery that can only be described as stunning: snow‐covered volcanoes; steaming fumaroles (vents in theEarth’s surface), which gave off a whiff of sulphur; andthe ice‐encrusted Godafoss, a beautiful horseshoe‐shaped waterfall.

Over the next four days, this winter wilderness becameour playground as we explored its natural wonders by avariety of means. First up we climbed into enormous,souped‐up Hummers and Toyota Land Cruisers to delvefurther into the lunar landscape, weaving our way acrossDimmuborgir (the ‘dark lava’) and driving to the top ofthe Ludent crater. Next, we drove snowmobiles aroundLake Mývatn. It was a thrilling way to experience the iceand snow‐clad landscape from a whole new perspective.

We also set out on foot for a hike up and around thehuge Hverfjall crater, and some of the group took a rideon Icelandic horses. Known for their sure‐footedness,this diminutive breed has a unique gait known as thetölt, which is incredibly fast, but is also said to be sosmooth that you can drink a glass of wine while you ride.While I can’t confirm whether this is true or not,indulging in your favourite tipple while soaking in thewarm, geothermal waters of the outdoor Mývatn NatureBaths is a novel experience that I can highly recommend.

Let There Be LightsNorthern Lights enthusiast David Phillips sees the night sky come alive in Iceland.



ACTION

DOZENS OF PULSATING RAYSDEVELOPED ALONG THEARC, REACHING UPWARDS,EBBING AND FLOWING,THEN TURNING INTO TALL,SHIMMERING CURTAINS OFLIGHT THAT SWAYEDGRACEFULLY IN THE SKYFOR SEVERAL HOURS.

Of course, the main reason we travelled to Lake Mývatnwas to witness the Northern Lights. Our base was theremotely situated, family‐run Sel Hotel Mývatn, and onour first evening there we gathered for an introductorylecture about the night sky from one of Explorers’astronomy experts. This was March, one of the best timesof year to see the lights, but we were warned that therewere no guarantees. Even if the lights did put on a display,we should not expect them to be as brightly coloured asthey appear in photographs, because the human eye is notas sensitive to colour as a digital camera.

This did nothing to dampen our enthusiasm. Afterdinner, we wrapped ourselves up in layers of thermals,fleeces and down jackets (plus shoes stuffed withlambswool insoles), ready to brave the Arctic night.While some Northern Lights tours set out by van to“chase the lights”, there is not much to be gained by thisif you are already well away from city lights in a shelteredarea that usually experiences clear night skies. So insteadwe relied on a combination of satellite data and themuch less scientific but no less valid method of simplypopping outside to see whether the lights were visible.

There was palpable excitement in the room when wewere told that it was time to step outside. For many ofour group, this would be their first glimpse of the lightsand, while I had already been lucky enough to witnessthem, I was no less eager. After around 30 minutes oureyes had adapted to the darkness of the night sky, wehad set up our tripods ready to capture the spectacle andwe were waiting to be dazzled.

Then the lights came out to play. A pearly, grey‐greenarc danced across the northern horizon, more muted incolour but no less beautiful than in the photographswe’ve all seen. We oohed and aahed in delight, but aftera few tantalising minutes the light faded away and wehad to wait patiently until the following night for anencore.

This time, the display did not disappoint. Dozens ofpulsating rays developed along the arc, reachingupwards, ebbing and flowing, then turning into tall,shimmering curtains of light that swayed gracefully inthe sky for several hours. It was magical.

For many people, a glimpse of the Northern Lights isthe ultimate, once‐in‐a‐lifetime event; a classic ‘bucketlist’ experience. Yet because no two displays are thesame, they have the power to fascinate and amaze timeand time again. I have seen them more than 30 times,but I could never tire of watching them.

Norse mythology called the lights Bifröst, or therainbow bridge to heaven, the auroras were commonlybelieved to be a sign from God during the Middle Ages.Today we might understand the science behind thelights, but once you have seen them, you too willconsider them heavenly. f

Explorers AstronomyTours’ quick guide tothe Northern LightsThe Northern Lights are anatural display of coloured

lights in the night sky, whichare often visible at highnorthern latitudes, for

example in Iceland, centralScandinavia, northernCanada and Alaska.

A stream of chargedparticles called the solar

wind is continuously emittedfrom the sun, and when

these particles interact withthe Earth’s magnetic field

they get channelled into theupper atmosphere, where

they excite atoms of oxygenand nitrogen.

As these atoms return tolower energy levels, they

emit light, which gives riseto the colours we see in the sky. Oxygen gives a

green and sometimes redglow, while nitrogen gives

a pink fringe.

Solar activity runs on a cycleof approximately 11 years.

Solar activity has beenincreasing over the last twoto three years, and the cycleis thought to be at its peak

this year, which means thereis an increased chance of

seeing the Northern Lights.

You can observe the lightsfrom the start of Septemberright through to the end ofMarch, but the solar wind

moves faster in Septemberand March, around the time

of the equinoxes, so thedisplay is likely to be best

during these months.

To observe the NorthernLights most clearly, the night

sky should be as dark aspossible. Choose an areathat is well away from light

pollution, and time yourNorthern Lights viewing to

coincide with the new moon(when it is least visible).



ACTION

Make it happenSeveral airlines fly from the UK to Keflavik InternationalAirport, 48km south‐west of Reykjavik. Easyjet fliesthere from Bristol, Edinburgh, London Luton andManchester, while Wow Air flies from London Gatwick.Icelandair flies from Glasgow, London Gatwick, LondonHeathrow and Manchester to Keflavik and Akureyri.Alternatively, you can book a tour package that includesreturn flights from the UK.

Explorers Astronomy Tours (0845 287 6121,www.astronomytours.co.uk) has an eight‐day IcelandicNorthern Lights itinerary, which costs from £1,449 perperson including return flights, transfers, hotelaccommodation (on a B&B basis), domestic flights, a citytour in Reykjavik, Northern Lights viewings and talksfrom astronomy experts. Optional activities includesuper jeeps, snowmobiling, cross‐country skiing andriding Icelandic horses (extra charges apply). n

Top five things to doin Reykjavik 1. Embrace the café culture

It’s a little-known fact that Iceland records the third-highest coffee consumption per capita in the world(behind Finland and Norway). There are plenty of cafés,restaurants and shops in the design district known as “101”. Named after the postcode, it encompasses the

streets around Laugavegur.

2. Take in the views from HallgrímskirkjaThe unusual design of this church was inspired by theshapes formed by volcanic lava as it cools into basalt.

Located in the centre of Reykjavik, there are great viewsfrom the 74.5-metre-tall observation tower, and if you visitafter 5pm during the summer, the money from your ticket

will be used to support local charities.

3. Swim in the Blue LagoonClose to Keflavik International Airport, this is one of Iceland’smost visited attractions. Bathe or gently swim in the warm,mineral-rich, milky blue waters, dab on the white silica mud,which is said to have healing properties, get an in-water spa

treatment, enjoy a drink at the pool bar… and relax.

4. Catch a concert at the Harpa Home to the Iceland Symphony Orchestra and the IcelandicOpera, the Harpa concert hall is a futuristic steel and glass

building, the design of which is said to represent thecrystallised basalt columns commonly found in Iceland.

The colours of the façade change with the light, creating akaleidoscope effect.

5. Admire the artAs well as numerous art galleries, there are several

sculptures on show around the city, including a striking, 60-foot long, stainless steel Viking ship called Sólfar (or

‘Sun Voyager’), which is located on the seafront and wascommissioned to mark the 200th anniversary of the city.

How to photograph theNorthern Lights

Modern digital cameras are muchmore sensitive to colour than thehuman eye, so if you follow thesesimple tips you should be able tocapture some incredible images.

1. Make sure you have plenty ofspace on your memory card or

take a spare card with you.

2. Fully charge your camerabattery, as cold weather and long exposures can quickly

sap the power.

3. Switch off autofocus and turn offthe flash (or put black tape over it).

4. Select the daylight setting.

5. Adjust the ISO setting to 800 or1,600. The darker the sky, thehigher this setting should be.

6. If you can, adjust the exposuretime to 5-20 seconds, or less if the

lights are changing rapidly.

7. If you have a digital single-lensreflex (DSLR) camera, set the

recording mode to manual, use thewidest lens you have (ideally withless than 35mm focal length) and

select the widest aperture possible(choose the lowest f/number).

Remove any UV or polarising filters.

8. Hold your camera steady,preferably with a tripod or by

resting it somewhere, and if youhave a delayed action timer, set

it to two seconds. This will reduce camera shake.

9. Be patient. The lights are anatural occurrence, so this makes

them unpredictable, but well worth waiting for!

10. The Northern Lights are one ofnature’s greatest spectacles. Enjoythem with your eyes and feel them

in your heart before using yourcamera. The mental image youtake away with you is far more

important than any picturecaptured by your camera.



COLUMNISTS

Diamond GeezerANT DELANEY

It has only been in the Oxford EnglishDictionary since 2011, but its firstrecorded use in print appeared in asomewhat stroppy letter from Admiral ‘Jacky’ Fisher to Winston

Churchill in 1917. He signed off OMG (Oh! My God!).Now people text it all the time, of course. It

came in as shorthand because text messagesinitially had 160 character limits.

People say it all the time, too. It’s usually saidquickly in excitement and slowly in anger:“Oh… My… God!”

It’s usually said without thinking; nothing ismeant by it; no offence. Because you’re happy.Or sad. Because your team won. Or lost. Orbecause you’re surprised. ‘OMG!’

But here’s the thing. What if he’s listening? Imean Him. God.

What if there really is a God, and he’s acapital H kind of God who is worth callingGod? Would you want to connect with a Godlike that if you could?

Big Things in SmallPackagesGeorge Washington Carver said that one dayhe prayed: “God, show the secrets of youruniverse.”

He was surprised to hear God reply: “Littleman, you’re not big enough to know thesecrets of My universe. But I’ll show you what’sin a peanut. Take it apart.”

Carver became an agricultural scientist andset out to maximise the potential of the peanut.He made more than 100 food recipes anddeveloped hundreds of products includingplastic, paint, oil, cosmetics, dyes andexplosives. By the end of his life he felt he hadonly scratched the surface of its possibilities.

Hidden universes are awaiting our discovery,not just through the telescope but under themicroscope. If we connect to the God whocreated everything, we find that He has packedso much into little things, just waiting for theirpotential to be unleashed.

Little things like little you and little me. Andlittle things like words.

Three Little WordsThe smallest of things can have a lot packedinto them. There’s a lot packed into those threeletters, OMG, and into those three little words,Oh My God.

I have recently written a resource that I hopeyou’ll be seeing a lot more of. It takes thosethree words everyone says and helps connectthem to the God they’re talking about all thetime.

The wonderful people at United ChristianBroadcasters (UCB) believe in it so much that

they have offered to print tens of thousands ofcopies to be given away free by churches andother agencies to help people find their wayback to God.

The artwork for this amazing collection ofresources is top class; amazingly put togetherby my best friend from primary school, PaulMarshall. Way back as boys we used to dreamthat one day we would make comics together. Iwould do the words, his gift was drawing. Weconnected again just a couple of years back outof the blue and guess what he does? He’s oneof the chief cover artists for 2000AD and JudgeDredd: The Megazine. He used to work forMarvel. How cool is that?

So please look out for OMG resources. Verysoon there will be little foldup cards, a booklet,a set of short films and materials for goingdeeper and a website full of people’s ‘OMGmoments’. Best of all, it’s 100% free for you,your mates and your family.

The Bible claims that God became flesh inthe person of his Son Jesus 2,000 years ago.Jesus was born of the Virgin Mary, livedwithout sin, took all of our sin upon Himselfand died on a cross so that we could beforgiven and live with the power of God insideus. Three days later, Jesus rose from the grave.

That last sentence is what makes all thedifference in the world today and the world tocome. Many religions and teachers throughouthistory have said some wonderful things. Butwe don’t believe it is only Jesus’ words that liveon: our guy’s alive!

The gospel account of the guy we call‘Doubting Thomas’ tells us what he said whenhe fully realised who Jesus Christ was; not justa friend to emulate or a dead friend to mourn.He realised that His death and resurrectionwere a reality and his doubts gave way to faith.

What was Thomas’ response to Jesus? It wasn’t OMG or Oh My God. It was MLMG,

or however you might text it; the onlyappropriate response when Thomas finallyrealised who Jesus really was. He summed it allup for us when he said: “My Lord and my God”.

It wasn’t an exclamation. It was an acclamationand a declaration. Nothing could ever be thesame again. The patron saint of doubters laterdied as a martyr who would never renounce theclaim that Jesus Christ is Lord.

HIDDEN UNIVERSESARE AWAITING OURDISCOVERY, NOT JUSTTHROUGH THETELESCOPE BUTUNDER THEMICROSCOPE.

This resource challenges people to turn OMGinto MLMG. Because Jesus is alive, you canhave a relationship with the God you’vethought about and perhaps texted about ortalked about. He was listening, He’s listeningnow and He loves you.

You can have living hope that lasts forever.You just have to hear Jesus’ words to you, thewords He said to Thomas: “Stop doubting andbelieve.” n

OMG!

Author and broadcaster Anthony Delaney regularly featureson BBC radio. He is strategic leader of Ivy, a movement of newchurches that meets in cinemas, a pub, a warehouse, homesand a church building. His book Diamond Geezers has justbeen released as an audio book and is available direct fromwww.ivymanchester.org. Follow him on twitter@anthonydelaney.



RUNNING HEADCOLUMNISTS

Your Will, Mott MineALEX WILLMOTT

Be More Lemurstories, poems and blogs had been ripped frommy own house as I slept ten feet above.

I would have quite happily emptied my bankaccount to get that work back. My facialexpression was no longer oozing anger, butsadness. You know the emotionless cry thatappears in films where the actor doesn’tconvey any distress but still weeps silently?That was me.

The morning of the burglary, my fiancée andI were supposed to go away for a few days andwe decided to head off despite the break‐in.As part of the holiday, we nipped intoYorkshire Wildlife Park. As we toured theanimal sanctuaries, all I could think about wasthe imagined faces of the criminals and how Iwould gladly meet them in a secluded car parksomewhere.

As my thoughts drew images not unlikescenes from Kill Bill, we slowly walked into thelemur enclosure. I knew this because one ofthe weird‐looking creatures ran across mytrainers on entry. I followed the little sprinterto a tree, where it was jumping from one

Ten seconds. That’s how longthe police reckon the burglarswere in my house. It’s likelythat they used the temporaryscaffolding out front to climbin through the window after

spotting my house keys on the sofa. It was aballsy effort considering the fact that threegrown men were sleeping upstairs throughout.I’ll be honest, I haven’t felt many weirderfeelings than when I looked around my livingroom to see some key items missing. ThePlayStation and the laptop were mostnoticeable.

My first words were: “I wish I had beenasleep on the sofa when this happened.” Butthen my aggressive impulses subsided and Ibegan to count the cost. For a few hundredquid I could replace it all, surely?

No. It wasn’t that simple. The bloody laptop.I’d been meaning to back up all the files on themachine for years. Six years, in fact. But I hadnever got around to it. Six years of unseen andunpublished writing was gone. Novels, short

Alex Willmott penned the epic Selah trilogy. Formernewspaper journalist, sports fanatic and local footballmanager, Alex took a vow to live life to the full after readingthe book of John in the Bible aged 16. Visitwww.alexwillmott.com for more information. Follow Alexon Twitter: @Alexinboxes.

branch to another. It was like the Tarzan of thelemur world. How those things can jump thatfar with such precision I’ll never know.

Edith and I gazed at the majestic leaps and Ithought to myself, ‘If I could jump that far, I’d beboasting about every leap’. But not the lemurs.Although they could pinpoint a jump from onetree to another, they never looked back at theirachievement at all. They simply moved on.

I’M TRYING TO WRITEWITH THE SAMEATTITUDE AS THELEMUR, WHO JUMPSWITH NO AUDIENCE IN MIND.

This notion helped me reflect on what hadbeen taken from me. The truth is, when Istarted writing I didn’t develop prose forpeople to read. I wrote because I had to. Therewas a passion in me that I couldn’t suppressand writing was as natural to me as leaping 15feet is to a lemur.

However, somewhere along the line Ichanged. I stopped writing for the simplepleasure of it and began to write withaudiences in mind. It was at this stage that Ibecame emotionally attached to the words. Iwas writing in the hope that someone wouldread it. This is never a good place for an authorto live.

I’ve started rewriting the work that was takenfrom me, but I’m not writing as I used to. I’mtrying to write with the same attitude as thelemur, who jumps with no audience in mind.And after the work is complete, I’ll move on.

“Do not love the world or the things in theworld. If anyone loves the world, the love ofthe Father is not in him. For all that is in theworld – the lust of the flesh, the lust of theeyes, and the pride of life – is not of the Fatherbut is of the world. And the world is passingaway, and the lust of it; but he who does thewill of God abides forever” (1 John 2:15‐17). n



COLUMNISTS

CompassionKATE SHARMA

Joel Ernesto Chirinos was borninto a poor family in Honduras.He was only two years old whenthe rickety gas stove fell onto thefloor of his home, causing anexplosion that set him alight.

Unconscious and with severe burns to the left

side of his body, Joel was rushed to hospital,but his condition worsened minute by minute.He remained in a coma for two years, butdespite the uncertainty of their child’s fate, thefamily had the faith to believe that God wasgoing to intervene in his life.

After 24 long months, the agony ended forthe Chirinos family when one day their childwoke up. Four‐year‐old Joel was eventuallyallowed to go home to start a long and painfulrecovery process. It wasn’t just physicalrestoration that was needed; he also had torecover emotionally from the accident,something that was made more difficult as heoften faced bullying from other kids. His scarscaused him to isolate himself, much to theconcern of his parents.

But change finally came when, aged seven,Joel was registered with a local Compassionproject that looks after children who are livingin poverty. This was the first step on thejourney towards complete recovery.

“It was very important for me to be at theproject, because it really helped me toovercome my shyness,” explains Joel. “It was ahealing process, because it was here where Ireceived support and love to forget about mycondition. I praise God for the love,counselling and care that I got from theproject, which helped me understand God’slove for me. He gave me a new lifeopportunity.”

Compassion ensures that children living inpoverty are developed in a holistic way: not

just spiritually and emotionally, but inpractical ways such as having their school feespaid and having the chance to take part inextracurricular activities.

As a result of these opportunities,taekwondo became Joel’s favourite sport. Italso helped him to get into good physicalshape after his accident. “Ever since the firstday I tried it, I fell in love with the sport,” heshares. “I have found another family here withmy friends and instructor.”

TAEKWONDO BECAMEJOEL’S FAVOURITESPORT. IT ALSOHELPED HIM TO GETINTO GOOD PHYSICALSHAPE AFTER HISACCIDENT.

Joel is now 17 years old and is totallycommitted to taekwondo; taking classes andpractising every day. Not only has hisdetermination led him to gain his black belt,he is now the youngest member of theHonduras national team, recently winning abronze medal at the Central American Gamesin El Salvador. One of his greatest ambitions isto set up a taekwondo school that will helpother young people grow in confidence just ashe has. n

Compassion is an international child development and childadvocacy ministry. Partnering with local churches, it iscommitted to the spiritual, economic, social and physicaldevelopment of children living in extreme poverty in 26countries, helping them to become responsible, fulfilledChristian adults. To sponsor a child with Compassion, visitwww.compassionuk.org or call 01932 836490.

A HealingProcess



CULTURE

MOVIESWith Martin Leggatt

NoahIn this excellent biblical epic, RussellCrowe stars as an unlikely Noah asthe retelling of the Old Testamentstory gets the Hollywood treatment.The resulting film is an apocalypticaction adventure of, well, biblicalproportions.

Perhaps director Darren Aronofskywas tipping a wink to the biblicalNoah, a man who was given toexcessive enjoyment of wine, whencasting Mr Crowe. Joking aside, itproved to be insightful with Crowe’sNoah offering a realistically gritty,man of action demeanour rather thanthe popular and rather dull image weall have of the jolly patriarch from ourSunday school days.

There is sufficient depth in the restof the casting to support Mr Crowe’s

fine performance, with EmmaWatson as Noah’s adopted daughter,the eternally beautiful JenniferConnelly as Naamah (Noah’s wife),Ray Winstone as Tubal‐cain (a fittingnemesis for our hero) and AnthonyHopkins as Methuselah.

There is quite a lot of artisticlicence to prolong the action and tomake it more attractive to a wideraudience, especially with theaddition of always superb Winstoneas the leader of a baying mob that isfixated on securing a berth on theark. In amongst all the turmoil ofthe end of the world as we know it,Crowe’s Noah remains steadfastlycalm and confident that his God willprotect him.

I was half expecting ‘Rusty’ to goall Bud White (his character fromL.A. Confidential) on them and start

JJJJJ An awesomespectacular that willsweep you away on atide of excitement

doing some biblical smiting of hisown, but that said the additions andamplification of the story in no waydetract from the enjoyment of thefilm. More importantly, it isn’tblasphemous in any possibleinterpretation; after all, many of theclassic biblical films from the goldenage of Hollywood were quite liberalwith their embellishments on theoriginal.

Noah has the added advantage ofmodern CGI and effects to fullyrealise the scale and devastation ofthe flood, rendering it a bit morecataclysmic than the Evan Almightyswollen dam that flooded selectedstreets of Washington scenario. Also,a big hats off to both Aronofsky andCrowe for the sensitivity and respectgiven to the scenes in which Noahhears God’s voice.

Captain America:The Winter SoldierI must admit to having a rathersnobbish attitude towards comicadaptations. I think there were justfar too many poor efforts thatspoiled the genre for me for a while:the 2003 Hulk and the terriblePunisher movies to name but a few.

The Russo brothers’ reinvention ofCaptain America as a super tough,gritty, special forces soldier hasrekindled my interest in the genre inmuch the same way that ChristianBale’s Batman restored the

JJJJJ Welcomeback, Captain

credibility of a franchise borderingon high camp.

Chris Evans once again wields theshield as Steve Rogers, alias CaptainAmerica, battling the evil menace ofa KGB anti‐hero (unless you happento be a Communist Russian) namedthe Winter Soldier (Sebastian Stan).The more than impressivesupporting cast includes CobieSmulders as S.H.I.E.L.D. agent MariaHill, Samuel L Jackson reprising hisrole as Nick Fury, Scarlett Johanssonas the Black Widow, Toby Jones asArnim Zola, Robert Redford asAlexander Pierce (a high‐ranking

Heroes and Superheroes

S.H.I.E.L.D. official) and DominicCooper as Howard Stark.



CULTURE

The MachineCaradog W James’ powerful Britishsci‐fi revolves around a scientist’sexperiment to create an artificial lifeform for the Ministry of Defence(think a British version of TheTerminator). The new cyborg is asuper soldier, a functioning sentientwho is capable of war but also ofsuperior peacekeeping skills.

However, lead scientist VincentMcCarthy (Toby Stephens) has hisown agenda running parallel to theofficial project. He wants to create ameans of prolonging the life offatally injured Ava (Caity Lotz).However, McCarthy must overcome

The DoubleNot to be confused with a 2010Richard Gere vehicle of the samename, this Richard Ayoade (ofSubmarine fame) comedy is based onthe classic novella of the same name,written by Fyodor Dosteyovsky.

JJJJJ One of thebest British sci-fisof the past decade

JJJJJ Although itdoesn’t sink, it is amediocre follow-upto Submarine

The plot revolves around thepremise of a young man who has adoppelganger, and on a series ofunfortunate mistaken identityjokes. It stars Jesse Eisenberg asboth Simon and James, supportedby a cast that includes MiaWasikowska, Yasmin Paige, James

SabotageArnie is back and he’s bigger thanever as director David Ayerscontinues the current vogue fornostalgia trips to those spectacular

JJJJJ He said he’dbe back and he is.And he’s on top form

high on action, low on plot actionmovies of the nineties. Arguably thebest of the genre in its heyday werethose starring the daddy of them all,Arnold Schwarzenegger, with biceps

James DeanretrospectiveMy friends at Park Circus haveteamed up with the British FilmInstitute (BFI) to rerelease the classicJames Dean trilogy of films: East ofEden, Rebel Without a Cause andGiant. All three films are classics, notonly due to the wonderful actingtalent of Dean, but to the excellentcast, direction and cinematographythat leap out of the screen some 60years after they were made.

If your only knowledge of Deancomes from the iconic images of himin posters from students’ walls, popalong to the BFI and be prepared tobe amazed. East of Eden is an EliaKazan directed adaptation of theJohn Steinbeck novel set indepression‐era California in whichbrothers Cal (Dean) and Aron(Richard Davalos) compete for theaffection and approval of their fatherAdam (Raymond Massey). There are

his scheming boss Thomson (DenisLawson), who is double‐crossinghim as part of his own nefariousplans. This intelligent and original

British sci‐fi has been hailed bymany as the best film of the genresince Bladerunner, which is anaccolade indeed.

Fox, Paddy Considine, WallaceShawn and everyone’s favouriteIrishman du jour, Chris O’Dowd.There is a nice cameo role for RadeSerbedzija (Boris from Snatch)who is unsurprisingly but ratheramusingly cast as ‘Frightening OldMan.’

some great supporting roles for BurlIves and Julie Harris.

Giant, the final film that Deancompleted, is a George Stevens epicof giant proportions. Dean co‐starsalongside real cinematic giants RockHudson and Elizabeth Taylor, with asupporting cast that includes SalMineo, Mercedes McCambridge anda young actor called Dennis Hopper.The story revolves around theBenedict family, a Texan oil dynastyand a long‐standing rivalry withformer employee Jett Rink (Dean),who strikes it lucky with a vastoilfield on Benedict land.

However, for me, the stand out ofthe three films is Rebel Without aCause, a teen drama revolving aroundillegal drag races, gang fights and thestruggle that one young man, JimStark (Dean resplendent in his iconicred Harrington jacket) has with histraditional and square father (JimBackus, who was the voice of myopiccartoon character Mr Magoo).

Nicholas Ray’s film is a stark yetsympathetic treatment of the angst ofthose troubled teenage years and, aswith the previous two films, boasts arich and talented cast includingNatalie Wood, Sal Mineo and thatyoung man Dennis Hopper.

the size of small countries andbulging muscles in places wheremere mortals had none.

In this thriller, Arnie returns asJohn ‘Breacher’ Wharton, a DrugEnforcement Administration agentwhose team is being executed oneby one. Who could be behind such aheinous crime? Well, who else butan evil drug cartel that is severelydisgruntled with Arnie’s team,which makes a spectacular seizure oftheir cash, and then stashes it.

Arnie is a bit flabby in his post‐Governor days, but retains hismammoth (excuse the pun)onscreen presence and his uniquemastery of the puntastic one‐liner.

Martin Leggatt is married to Sue and father toAaron, Sam, Hope and Paige. He’s a self‐confessed movie geek, although his tastes runto an eclectic assortment of action, thriller,black and white, war and pretentious (as Suewould say) art house films. Martin’s favouritefilm is Powell and Pressburger’s A Matter ofLife and Death.

JJJJJ Get keenon Dean at the BFI

REX/Everett C

ollection



CULTURE

TELEVISIONWith Emily Russell

“Usually, oneperson doesn’thave thesolution. But100 with 1% ofthe solution?

That’ll get it done. I think that’sbeautiful; pieces solving a puzzle”(Skye, Marvel’s Agents ofS.H.I.E.L.D).

In recent years, Marvel hasdominated the cinema with itshugely successful blockbustersuperhero movies about larger‐than‐life characters such as Iron Man,Thor, and Captain America. Now ithas brought that style and vibrancyto television screens, focusing on adifferent kind of hero.

TOGETHER, THISMISFIT TEAMPLAYS ITS PARTIN SAVING THEWORLD.

The Strategic HomelandIntervention, Enforcement andLogistics Division (S.H.I.E.L.D) hasfrequently been present throughoutthe Marvel films. This governmentgroup deals with the effect thatsuperheroes and their foes have onour world.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.Dfocuses on a S.H.I.E.LD team that isled by dedicated and dry‐humouredagent Philip Coulson (fan favouriteClark Gregg), a character who hasappeared in many of the Marvelfilms. He is one of several charactersfrom the film series to appear on theshow (perhaps the most unexpectedand exciting of which is a cameo fromSamuel L Jackson as Nick Fury in oneof the early episodes).

Coulson is joined by antisocial

black‐ops expert Grant Ward (BrettDalton), hacker‐with‐a‐heart Skye(Chloe Bennet), kickass, taciturnpilot Melinda May (Ming‐Na Wen)and excitable, talkative science andtechnology specialists Fitz andSimmons (Iain De Caestecker andElizabeth Henstridge). Together,this misfit team plays its part insaving the world.

One of the show’s creators isdirector and screenwriter JossWhedon, who brilliantly broughtAvengers Assemble (2012) to the bigscreen as both writer and director,and who previously showcased hisunique voice on television via iconicshows such as Buffy the VampireSlayer (1997‐2003).

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D isfilled with Whedon’s style of snappy,quotable dialogue, an interestingband of regular characters and morethan enough mystery to intrigue.

How did Coulson survive his fate inAvengers Assemble? Just what isS.H.I.E.L.D hiding from him abouthis improbable return? Whathappened to Skye’s parents, andhow is S.H.I.E.LD involved? Howmany more questions will the showthrow up? And will ever we get anysatisfactory answers?!

Marvel has spent several yearsshowing how impressively super‐powered heroes can excite, entertainand save the day. With Marvel’sAgents of S.H.I.E.L.D, it shows thatordinary humans can also beimpressive and entertaining withequally funny dialogue, even if theshow hasn’t thrilled audiences andcritics to the amazing blockbusting‐degree that its films have.

The show tells us that, superheroor not, and no matter the troublesthat we’ve faced in the past or thatwe are currently struggling with, weall have gifts, skills and importantcontributions to make. As Coulsonpoints out: “The good ones, the realdeal, they’re not heroes because ofwhat they have that we don’t. It’swhat they do with it.” n

Series one of Marvel’sAgents of S.H.I.E.L.Drecently launched on

Channel 4.

Emily Russell has a degree in Media and FilmStudies and works part time for the University ofSouthampton. Married to Anthony, she watchesfar too much science‐fiction and fantasy, crimeshows and wrestling. She wrote Culturewatcharticles for the Damaris Trust website for eightyears and her film articles can be read atwww.emilyrussellwrites.wordpress.com.

Marvellous Marvel



GAMINGWith Jim Lockey

CULTURE

I found that the printed circuitboard (PCB) was so clearly laid outand labelled that I had no troubleassembling the kit and there was noneed for instructions.

The Gamer Kit comes with a neatlittle version of Snake preloaded, butthe system is based on Arduino (anopen‐source electronics codingplatform) and the user is invited tocreate his or her own animations andgames by learning the codinglanguage and updating the Gamer viaUSB. I’ll tell you about my experiencecoding mine in the next issue.

As for my impressions of thephysical product and my experienceassembling it, I am most impressedby its remarkably low barrier toentry. I think the product would be aperfect project for a father and sonteam (or mother and daughter team,for that matter) that is interested inworking out how things work andhave a shared interest in gaming.

In short, this means it’s perfect forme and my stepson. We plan tocreate something together on thedevice and have already discussed afew ideas. The DIY Gamer Kit is, inthis regard, a box of potential. Itsgreatest joy is in the breadth ofpossibilities it can deliver in such asmall package. n

On a Venn diagram of educationalproducts and hipster cool, TWSUstylishly occupies the tinyintersection. Its DIY Gamer Kitarrives in an unassuming cardboardbox. Aside from a simple label, thebox is sprinkled with neon stickersthat hint at the contents.

It looks like it has been festoonedwith the things in the same way thata teenage grunge fan might smothera cheap guitar in decals. That’s yourfirst clue that there is somethingmore to the Gamer Kit than it beingjust a hobbyist’s distraction. TWSUis trying to bring a kind of punkculture to the world of smallelectronics.

The Gamer Kit itself makes asmall, portable console consisting ofa few buttons in a traditional gamecontroller layout and a screen that isonly 8x8 pixels. Visually, it’s a rifffrom Nintendo’s iconic Gameboy,but stripped back in every respect.The result is a console that istestament to the beauty ofminimalism. When I’m not using it,it sits on my shelf next to variousaction figures and it makes ahandsome ornament.

The ‘kit’ element of the productcomes from the fact that you have tosolder the thing together yourself. Ihaven’t done any small electronicsprojects since secondary school, but

Homemade Bleeps and BloopsDIY Gamer Kit, £65, Technologywillsaveus.org

Ilove gadgets, and I especially lovegadgets that wear theirengineering on their sleeves. I liketo mentally take things apart andput them back together to see howthey work. Though I am in awe of modern,

touchscreen phones I am unable tofathom out the technologyimplemented in those black slabs.Show me an old‐timer clock and Icould conceivably make a shabbyversion of it given the right tools. Butas for a modern, handheld gamesconsole, those things might as well bepowered by fairy dust for all the realunderstanding I have of them.

THE PRODUCTWOULD BE APERFECTPROJECT FOR A FATHER ANDSON TEAM.

The void between mechanical anddigital technology is nothing shortof being another language. Butthanks to the DIY Gamer Kit fromTechnology Will Save Us (TWSU), Imight conceivably be able to learnsome conversational phrases in thestrange country of digitaltechnology.

Jim is a lifelong gamer and lives in Kent withhis wife and children. He is also an artist andcurator. His website is www.jimlockey.co.ukand his PSN name is tearfulminotaur.



CULTURE

DVD & BLU RAYWith Martin Leggatt

REX

/Mov

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Col

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ion

humour comes thick and fast andtends often toward the juvenile, butI defy you not to double overlaughing when Chandler has tocomplete a series of fantastic trialsto earn a mystical knife that willenable him to defeat his foe.

At this stage, Murphy’s career wasin the ascendance and he was able tocarry a series of movies as the mainstar. The quality of his output variesfrom top notch to very poor sequels;particularly the Beverly Hills Copfranchise and a mediocre Another 48Hrs. Also, without the restraint of aco‐star role, Murphy started tobecome larger than his alreadylarger‐than‐life, on‐screen personawhich, combined with hisincreasingly erratic off‐screen antics,made some of his performances alittle annoying.

Along the way, Murphy hasattempted a diversion into the actiongenre as Inspector Scott Roper,hunting down ruthless diamondthief and cop killer Michael Korda(Michael Wincott) in the passableMetro. Another more fruitful careerchange saw him become an unlikelyDisney lead actor: as theunmistakeably irascible voice ofDonkey in the highly entertainingShrek series; in a good turn as thetitular Dr Doolittle (albeit farremoved from Rex Harrison); andwith a very good performance in TheHaunted Mansion.

The only caveats in myrecommendations are that, Disneyfilms aside, many of Murphy’s filmstend towards a lot of bad languageand – a factor not necessarilyattributable to Murphy himself – alot of bad sequels. Ratherominously, there are a few moreBeverly Hills Cop offerings in thepipeline, continuing the relativelysafe strategy that the major studiosseem to be pursuing during thesechallenging times. n

help of convict Reggie Hammond totrack down a shadowy underworldkiller. Hammond is released intoCates’ custody for the titular 48hours. The action is matched inhumour as the love‐haterelationship between the chalk andcheese characters blossoms into atrue buddy, buddy screenrelationship.

IF YOU HAVEN’TSEEN IT YET, DOSO IMMEDIATELY.

The success of Trading Places wasfollowed by elevation to star statusfor Murphy as the wisecracking,unconventional detective Axel Foleyin Beverly Hills Cop. Foley is atalented yet maverick cop wholeaves his native Detroit to trackdown the killers of his childhoodfriend. Along the way, he manages toloosen up two uptight Beverly Hillsdetectives: Rosewood (JudgeReinhold) and Taggart (JohnAshton). This original spawned aseries of inferior sequels, whichunfortunately diminished in qualityas they grew in number.

My next choice is one of my wife’sfavourite Murphy roles, The GoldenChild, which features the Americanfunny man as Chandler Jarrell, awisecracking detective who usesvery unorthodox and unlikelymethods to track down missingchildren. He is recruited by thebeautiful Kee Nang (CharlotteLewis), who mysteriously turns upsearching for ‘The Golden Child’; akind of Tibetan holy figure.

Hilarity and thrills ensue as Jarrell,‘The Chosen One’, travels to Tibet tobattle the evil Sardo Numspa(played by a very excellent CharlesDance) to rescue the young boy. The

As I write this in thelimbo that followsNew Year, I’mlamenting the gapinghole in the paltrytelevisual offerings.

How could every station haveoverlooked the great Trading Places?This film is a classic, and not justone that should be constrained tothe festive period. Indeed, itincludes possibly one of the bestperformances we have seen fromEddie Murphy.

It’s a classic example of how goodMr Murphy is when he is fettered toa co‐starring role; in this case to thegreat Dan Aykroyd (although botharguably co‐star with veterans RalphBellamy and Don Ameche).

For the uninitiated, Murphy playsBilly Ray Valentine, a small‐timeconfidence trickster who one dayfalls foul of a whimsical bet betweenthe Dukes (Ameche and Bellamy),two billionaire traders. In order forthe bet to play out, Valentine musttrade places with Louis WinthorpeIII, a man who has had all theadvantages in life that a privilegedbackground can afford.

As Winthorpe’s world disintegratesaround him, Valentine’s controlledassent to riches and successcontinues until one day he overhearsthe boastful Duke brothers gloatingover the success of their socialexperiment. There are some greatsupporting performances fromJamie Lee Curtis as hooker‐with‐a‐heart Ophelia and Denholm Elliottas dedicated manservant Coleman.However, Paul Gleason as shiftysecurity expert Clarence Beeks stealsevery scene he appears in, for me.

Highlights of the film include adown‐and‐out Aykroyd disguised asthe world’s seediest Santa in history;Murphy as a Cameroonian exchangestudent wishing everyone a MerryNew Year; and the scene in whichGleason arranges a clandestinemeeting in a telephone kiosk. If youhaven’t seen it yet, do soimmediately. And if you have, well,just watch it again!

Prior to the success of TradingPlaces, Murphy’s breakthroughfrom highly successful stand‐upcomic to movie actor came through48 Hrs, a Nick Nolte cop film. Noltestars as hard bitten, shabbydetective Jack Cates, who enlists the

Cops and Robbers

Trading Places



CULTURE

BOOKSWith Mark Anderson

Mark was born in Belfast and developed abook and football obsession at a young age. He and wife Lisa belong to Fishgate, a churchplant in Newtownabbey. Read Mark’s musingsat overtakenheart.blogspot.co.uk.

Hollywood tales have a start, middleand end; however, this book’sstructure constantly travelsbackwards and forwards withoutmaking your head spin. Thisintelligently written book tells thetale of Arun Advani, an investigativejournalist who wants to find out whocarried out a local murder.

MOD: A VeryBritish Style by Richard WeightDo you have a dad, uncle or olderbrother who was a ‘mod’ or whowished that they could havebeen one? This book is theperfect gift for someone whowants to walk (or indeed ride ontheir tricked‐out scooter) downmemory lane. The ’60s, ’70s and’80s are investigated thoroughly,with clubs, fashion, music andgeography carefully described.Bradley Wiggins and Paul Wellerlookalikes will be left wantingmore!

Walking with Godthrough Pain andSufferingby Timothy KellerWhy do bad things happen togood people? This is probably themost frequently posed questionfor Christians, but we oftenstumble through the answer ordon’t give a very good one, leavingthe person asking the questionconfused and possibly even angry.

Keller leads us through eachchapter, encouraging us to trustGod and showing how theselessons can truly help us throughlife. Try this book out if you’researching for an answer. You mayjust get it!

JFK’s Camelot: TheUnfolding Story ofa Presidentby Adam PowleyConsidered one of America’sgreatest presidents, JFK has anenduring legacy of extremes:fighting communism with a ColdWar between the US and theSoviet Union, while trying toprevent civil war. Turmoilprevailed during the ’60s, whileJFK was at the helm.

JFK was slick, cool and camefrom money. He inspired ageneration; however, he became afigure of hate for some andeventually paid the price. Thisbook contains amazing reportsand pictures from this period. n

Six Suspects by Vikas SwarupVikas Swarup previously wrote arather well‐known book calledSlumdog Millionaire, which laterbecame a highly acclaimed movie.This latest effort is a modern talewith an eastern twist. Most

By the Book

JJJJJ

JJJJJ

JJJJJ

MOD: A Very British Style

JJJJJ

Six Suspects

JFK’s Camelot: The Unfolding Story

of a President

Walking with God throughPain and Suffering

Produced by Faith: Enjoy Real Successwithout Losing Your True Selfby DeVon Franklin

Let me tell you how I came acrossProduced by Faith. My wife Lisa waswatching the telly and shouted for meto come in from the kitchen. She toldme that I needed to listen to the fella onTV talking about his book. Lisa pressedplay on the Sky remote and the TVrevealed DeVon Franklin discussing hisbook with Oprah. He was funny, likableand had a great story.

Franklin is now senior vice presidentat Columbia Pictures, but he had atough start in life. Having lost hisfather at an early age, he sought

sanctuary in the Church. Franklin felt God was urging him to gointo ministry, but he really wanted to go into show business. Wasthere a way he could do both?

Through various means, Franklin shadowed Will Smith as anintern at first and began to climb the ladder of success beforehitting a glass ceiling. Frustrated, he leaned on his faith and leftthe company without a job, scaring his family silly in the process!What was he going to do?

Produced by Faith is a deeply enjoyable book about how you canbe shaped by faith and allow God to step in; letting Him take theweight off your shoulders and learning who you are in Christ.

If your faith is waning under the pressure of work or you arecompromising your beliefs, I urge you to have a peak at thisbook. Let Franklin use the world of Hollywood as a metaphor forlife’s struggles. Can you truly be a Christian and not just one forshow? Allow him to lead you through some great chapterscontaining personal stories of woes and triumph.

JJJJJ



MUSICWith Sue Rinaldi

CULTURE

Sue Rinaldi travels internationally as a concertartist, worship co‐ordinator, speaker andcreative consultant. A self‐confessed infojunkie and movie enthusiast, her interest inculture, justice, technology and the futurefuels her living and writing(www.suerinaldi.net).

Katy PerryPrism

Perry’s fourth album serves up a tastyplate. Boasting a more mature sound,the arrangements are crafted andchosen with care; at times al dente toperfection in “Double Rainbows” and“By the Grace of God”.

Elsewhere, “Birthday” and“Walking on Air” boil to thetemperature of dance‐floor pop.Throughout, Perry sings withdexterity and conviction and respectis due for singing the word ‘roar’ andmaking it credible!

Scott StappProof of Life

Punchy and hardhitting, Creedvocalist Scott Stapp conquers like aheavyweight boxer in the ring. Hisvoice has always been a powerhouse,but this time the production andsongs on his second solo album lineup to deliver a sonic force of bigguitars, incessant rhythm and talesof an overcomer.

Stapp has always been open abouthis journey to Christian faith andProof Of Life shows he is confidentwhen it comes to spreading themessage… And he does it so well. n

Tuning In

BastilleAll This Bad Blood

Born any other day, lead singer Dan Smith might have christened theband with a less memorable or cool‐sounding name, but in a similarvein to that historic event, Bastille have been storming the gates ofmusic town ever since their first EP release in 2011. Gaining a heftyfour nominations for the 2014 Brit awards is evidence enough of thewidespread and swift appeal of this alliance of friends from London.

All This Bad Blood is a reissue of the band’s debut album, with BadBlood songs on disc one, and with B‐sides, bonus tracks and newrecordings on disc two.

With a breadth of sound ranging from the synth‐pop overtones ofhigh charting “Pompeii” through to the indie‐rock styled “Icarus”,Smith’s songs are always fluent in lyrics and storytelling. Each isconsistent in offering something memorable: a melodic trail, a head‐circling chorus or even the distinctive accents of his voice.

Album‐promoting single “Of the Night” – an electro‐dominantmash‐up of “The Rhythm of the Night” and “Rhythm Is a Dancer” –contrasts superbly with the touches of raw emotion in “Oblivion” and“Get Home”. An apparent love of flavour combinations is a keyBastille feature and one that signals a lengthy reign.

John NewmanTribute

With the style of James Dean, thesoul of Motown and the explosivepassion of a pyrotechnic display, ayoung talent has emerged,seemingly from nowhere!

Featuring as a singer on two ofRudimental’s hits earned JohnNewman recognition as one of themost celebrated voices of 2013. Butwhen “Love Me Again” from thebrilliant Tribute reached number one,heads really turned. This producer,songwriter and artist exudes talentand is blessed with a potent charismathat has immediate effect.

John NewmanTribute

Katy PerryPrism

Scott StappProof of Life

BastilleAll This Bad Blood


LIFESTYLE

TIM BARNES-CLAY

Cars


Motoring journalist Tim Barnes‐Clay gets up close and personal with two fresh Spanish models…

VIVAESPAÑA


LIFESTYLE

New SEAT Leon FR 2.0 TDI 150 PS

SEAT enjoyed a record‐breakingyear for UK sales in 2012, its bestsince the brand launched onBritish soil in 1985. And theSpanish automaker’s popularityis likely to continue if the all‐new

Leon is anything to go by. Indeed, thehatchback, which was first introduced in 1999,is unquestionably one of SEAT’s mostsignificant cars ever.

I drove SEAT’s athletic version of the Leon, theFR. Those letters stand for formula racing, so thecar predictably comes with ‘sporty’ features.

Fast facts Max speed: 134mph0-62 mph: 8.4 secs

Combined mpg: 68.9Engine: 1968cc 4 cylinder

16 valve turbo dieselMax power (bhp): 148 at 3,500-4,000rpm Max torque (lb/ft): 236 at 1,750-3,000rpm

CO2: 106g/kmPrice: £21,385 on the road

These include 17‐inch alloy wheels, dark‐tintedrear windows and front sports seats.

The driver’s seat is set lower than that of theprevious Leon, but has a broad range ofmovement, as does the steering wheel. Thisprovides a confident driver set‐up and a funone, especially when you hit the road afterselecting ‘Sport’ from the SEAT drive profile.This is a menu of driving modes that allows thedriver to change the character of the car. On thelist of options you can choose normal, eco orindividual set‐up. It’s a cool bit of gadgetry andis accessed at the touch of a button.

The Leon FR 2.0 TDI 150 will sprint from 0‐62mph in 8.4 seconds and then on to 134mph.The SEAT hugs the corners as though it is

superglued to the road. In fact, body roll isvirtually non‐existent. It feels a million milesaway from a standard, efficient, family hatch.But it’s not that far from one as far as fuelsavings go. Fuel economy is startlingly efficientwith the oil‐burner averaging 68.9mpg.

The newest Leon comes in a package that isenormously practical, too. The SEAT is a fullfive‐seater with a 380‐litre boot. The luggagecompartment has increased by 39 litres, itsrear knee room and headroom by 14mm. It isamong the most voluminous motors in thefamily hatchback class.

Most importantly, the Leon has beenawarded the maximum five‐star rating by EuroNCAP in its safety tests. It scored 94% and92% for the adult occupant and child occupantelements, respectively. What more could youask for? Not a lot. And if I had £21,385, I’d bebuying a Leon FR now.


33

LIFESTYLE

Tim is an experienced motoring writer with a backgroundin radio and TV journalism. He puts his pedal to the metaleach issue with his must‐read car reviews. Tweet TimBarnes‐Clay @carwriteups www.carwriteups.co.uk.

New SEAT ToledoOn the road, the new Toledo is no speeddemon, but it always has enough ‘get up andgo’ to prevent accusations of sluggishness. Its1598cc, 16 valve, four cylinder turbo dieselengine produces 103bhp, and that’s enough toget you from 0‐62mph in 10.4 seconds.

Top speed is a more‐than‐respectable118mph and CO2 emissions are low at just106g/km. That means the Toledo is not onlyeco‐friendly; the small amount of carbondioxide it releases into the atmosphere alsobrings it into cheap annual road tax territory.

The SEAT embraces corners and soaks uplumps and bumps without difficulty. Theswitchgear is nicely damped and the steeringis direct. The well‐weighted wheel also givesyou good feedback, thoroughlycommunicating what the road surface is likebeneath the four rubber corners.

Lookswise, the latest Toledo is peculiar. Ithas the appearance of a saloon, but actually it’sa hatchback. The front looks modern with itsaggressively shaped headlights, but SEAT’sdesigners have lost their way the further backyou go. The rear end is the visual equivalent ofa song that has been faded out because theguys in the recording studio didn’t have aclear‐cut way to finish the track.

My test car, in SE 1.6 TDI Ecomotive 105 PSguise, produced 70.6mpg. That’s prettystaggering. The tank is big, too, with a

Fast facts Max speed: 118mph0-62 mph: 10.4 secsCombined mpg: 70.6

Engine: 1598cc 4 cylinder 16 valve turbo diesel Max power (bhp): 103 at 4,400rpm Max torque (lb/ft): 184 at 1,500rpm

CO2: 106g/kmPrice: £17,840

potential range of around 600 miles. The standard safety package for all SEAT

Toledos includes front side, head and thoraxairbags. The car is available from as little as£12,500 on the road, but the flagship form Itest‐drove comes with a price tag that is morethan five grand dearer at £17,840. n


We’re well into the New Year now, and if getting fit was one of yourresolutions we hope you’ve managed to keep up the pace. The

following items, all available from www.prodirectrunning.com,will help you stay on your toes and finish the race.


LIFESTYLE

SIX OF THE BESTCool Runnings

6Gore Mythos Gloves These Gore Windstopperrunning gloves are windproofand insulated, providingmoisture management andreflective material forvisibility.�They also have afabric insert on the index fingersand thumb for touchscreen use,so you’ll never want to leave thehouse without them.

(RRP £31.49)

3DoUnlimited Stride Outlong-sleeve tee This doUnlimited long-sleeve tee isan ultra-light, breathableperformance running top madefrom sweat-wicking stretchmaterial for added comfort andfreedom of movement. The StrideOut tee also features reflectiveprint details to help keep you safeand visible in the dark.

(RRP £25.00)

1Adidas Adizero Adios Boost trainers The Adios now comes with a new Boost foam innovation. The energy-returning midsole keeps every step charged with an endless supply of energy,reportedly giving the runner 15% more energy return than any other material.

(RRP £98.99)

2Trusox Mid-Calf Cushion Crew Socks Made with non-slip pads on theinside and outside of the sock, Trusoxare designed to stop the sock fromsliding on the foot, allowing runners tochange direction faster and to push offwith optimal power. They also helpto reduce blisters, making them amust-have for marathon runners.

(RRP £24.99)

5Asics long-sleeve Winter Top This Asics long-sleeve top is anideal wardrobe staple for all-weather running and training. Youcan wear it as one of several layersor on its own. Featuring thermalproperties for cold weatherprotection, and made frommaterial that has proven moisturemanagement, this slim-fitting toppromotes comfort and betterperformance.

(RRP £35.99)

4Nike Men’s ReversibleBeanieThe Nike Therma-FITReversible Running Hat ismade from insulated fabric to

lock in heat and keep youtoasty on those cold winter

runs. The handy, two-wayreversible design also delivers

versatile style.

(RRP £14.40)



LIFESTYLE

TOP GEARThe greatest gear, gadgets and gizmos we could find

Subbuteo Salt and Pepper GrindersPass the salt (and pepper) in style with these iconicSubbuteo grinders. Featuring a durable ceramicmechanism, these high-quality grinders ensure thatmeals are tasty season after season. Inspired by the original 1960s Subbuteo figure, thegrinders come packaged in a retro gift box, making themthe perfect gift for football fans.

RRP £30 www.thabto.co.uk

STK PortableBluetooth StereoSpeakerThis handy speaker is available in twocolours: fiery red and black. The Bluetooth technologymeans no wires are required, and its sleek shape meansthis is the perfect speaker for any travel lover who islooking for truly portable sound.

RRP £29.99 www.mobilefun.co.uk

Mobee Magic JuiceAs a mobile device user, you often needmore power during the day than you haveaccess to. According to Mobee, this isthe world’s first compact battery used topower mobile devices that rechargeswirelessly and by USB. Place it on anyMobee flat charging station (MagicCharger or Magic Feet) and it’ll be fullyrecharged by the time you leave theoffice. The Magic Juice is a must-haveaccessory for those on the go.

RRP £69www.mobeetechnology.com

Philips PerfectCare IronA modern man needs a modern iron, and they

don’t come any better than this high-techoffering from Philips. Iron your

garments without adjusting thetemperature thanks to the brand’s

OptimalTEMP technology, whichalso rules out accidental burnmarks. It’s the lightest, mostcompact steam generator outthere, and is also easy to storeand carry.

RRP £140www.philips.co.uk

Brown Paper Lunch BagMade from Tyvek, this lunch bag looks and feels exactly like a regular brown paper bag, only it is tear-proof, leak resistant, tough and insulating. The magnetic strip at the top seals it tight and you can even write your name on it. So now you can carry your lunch US style, with all the convenience of a plastic tub.

RRP £9.74 www.firebox.com

Sorted.TOP BUY



LIFESTYLE

StickNFindScarcely bigger than a pound coin and capable of adhering to just about anything, the time/sanity/life-saving StickNFind enables you to keep tabs on your precious items, making sure they never mysteriously go AWOL again. The intuitive radar app displays all of your devices within range, so you simply need to select the corresponding sticker on the screen to track it. You can easily label all of your stickers as well as making them buzz and flash (or both) at the touch of a button. So you’ll even be able to find your tagged items in the dark!


KitVision Rush action camera Whether you’re freefalling at 15,000 feet, skiing down the black run orhanging upside-down on a roller coaster track, the Kitvision Rush actioncamera is the must-have accessory for extreme sports enthusiasts,adventure lovers and those who just like to lead an active lifestyle. As well as being able to record true high-definition video in 1080p/30fpsor capturing fast action in 720p/60fps, the Rush is capable of taking 5megapixel photos in Single Photo, Burst Shot and Time Lapse modes.

RRP £199 www.amazon.co.uk

KitSound Boom EvolutionIncorporating Bluetooth wireless technology, this versatile systemallows you to connect to Bluetooth-enabled mobile phones andmedia players without cables, meaning you can play your music, viewYouTube clips, stream Spotify and Bloom.fm, watch on-demandcontent and listen to internet radio, either with your device in yourhand or at a convenient distance.

RRP £199.99 www.amazon.co.uk

Crispy Cricket Pad ThaiDo you know what your delicious pad Thaiis missing? A generous sprinkling of bugs,that’s what. Precooked and well-seasoned,these chirpy, winged pests are now yourculinary best friend. You can stir themstraight into your noodles to add a uniqueand unforgettable crunch. Whetherscattered as a garnish or scoffed as abrave standalone snack, these brilliantbeetles offer a veritable taste sensation.


Scalextric C1308 Raw Power Race SetTwo of the hottest GT racers go head to head on this huge,figure-of-eight circuit featuring bridge and crossoversections. The Chevrolet Corvette C6R and Chevrolet CamaroGTR are tough and extremely fast, allowing you to race yourmates time and time again. The kit comes with two handcontrollers and a power supply.

RRP £149.99

www.scalextric.com

Sorted.TOP BUY



LIFESTYLE

Gadget GeekPAUL HURST

Got a question forthe Gadget Geek? Send me an email atgadgetgeek@sorted-

magazine.com.

BY PAUL HURST

Do you know yourmegabytes fromyour megabits?Or are you a bit ofa teraflop when itcomes to data

usage and storage? Fear not! I’m onhand with everything you need toknow about cloud storage andportable backup devices… and I mayeven save you a bit of money on yournext big technological purchase.

“Storage and RAM are the samething, right?”Nope! The two are completelydifferent and they do different thingsinside your technology. Storage doesexactly what it says on the tin. Usuallyquoted in gigabytes (GB), the biggerthe number, the more of your photos,music, videos and documents you canfit on your device.

RAM is very ‘fast’ memory, which isused to temporarily hold data beforethe central processing unit (CPU)does something with it. RAM isusually quoted in megabytes (MB). Ifa device has more RAM, it canusually process things more quickly,so adding more RAM to your laptopis often a cheaper way of seeing aperformance increase rather thanbuying a brand new computer.

“So I can upgrade the RAM, butwhat about storage space?”You can buy a bigger hard disk drive(HDD) for your computer, which willlet you squeeze more onto yourcomputer. A faster HDD may alsogive your system a ‘slightly’ improvedperformance boost.

If you’re using a smartphone ortablet, you can ‘upgrade’ the storagespace by inserting some kind ofmemory card, but be careful as someof the cheaper ones have slowerread/write speeds, which may makeyour device run a little slower. Youmay also notice a slight hit onbattery life, as more juice is neededto cope with the extra circuits withinthe card.

“There’s no slot on my veryexpensive smartphone or class-leading tablet. Do I have to payfull whack for one with morestorage space?”It’s no oversight that there’s no‘memory card’ slot on your fruit‐based devices. Input/output portson technology open devices up tomodification and security attacks,and also cedes some degree of

control from the manufacturer tothe tinkering end user.

But despair not! Cloud storageallows you to store your filesremotely. You access them via Wi‐Fior cellular internet connections andmost of these services, such asiCloud, Dropbox, Google Drive andSkydrive, give you some for free tolure you in.

This is very good news and couldsave you quite a bit of cash. Ifyou’re looking for a new portabledevice, ask yourself, do I need tobuy the extra‐large version or can Iuse cloud storage and plump forsomething cheaper?

Another advantage is that cloudstorage is ‘cross‐platform’, so youcan usually get to your files fromany internet‐enabled device. Thismeans less faffing around withemails trying to send yourselfpictures from the camera roll. n

What’s in Store for You?

Owning most pieces of modern technologyever invented (from the late '80s onwards, atleast), the Gadget Geek Paul Hurst shouldhave been one of the richest men on theplanet. Instead, he is incredibly well organised,always knows the exact time and can watchvideo and listen to music just about anywhere.



LIFESTYLE

60 Second Life Coach PETER HORNE

Sorted contributor Phil Baineshas been writing his fitnesscolumn for three years nowand he might just be providingone of the most importantcontributions to this fabulous

mag. If you’re interested to know why, read on. In our highly informed society, most of us

are aware of the health benefits exercise canbring, including a reduced risk of heartdisease, certain types of cancer and type 2diabetes. But there are also several brain‐boosting benefits.

According to sparkinglife.org, exerciseunleashes a cascade of neurochemicals andgrowth factors that physically bolster thebrain’s infrastructure. Research shows thatexercise can reverse the debilitating processesassociated with anxiety and depression.

In fact, the brain responds the way musclesdo: it grows with use or withers with inactivity.The neurons in the brain connect to oneanother through ‘leaves’ on treelike branches,and exercise causes these branches to grow andbloom with new buds, thus enhancing brainfunction at a fundamental level.

Exercise can also help us become smarterand more alert. A study of children agedbetween 5 and 14 attending state‐fundedschools in New York City shows that studentsin the top 5% of the fitness rankings scored36% higher on standardised academic teststhan students ranked in the bottom 5%.

Brain Power Boost

John Ratey is one of Sparking Life’s board ofdirectors and a professor of psychiatry. Thetagline of his book, Spark, is “How exercisewill improve the performance of your brain”.

When Ratey addressed some of the world’sleading educators on his specialist subject, heinvited them to join in with a brief spot ofexercise. He had the group run on the spot for20 seconds, then rest for 10. He repeated theprocess four times in the knowledge that theexercise would make the group more alert andmight even help participants to retain more ofwhat they were about to hear.

Ratey cites a study in which a group of

previously sedentary people in their seventieswent to the gym three times a week for an hour.After six months, MRI scans showed a significantincrease in brain volume in each of them: theirbrains looked two to three years younger.

EXERCISE UNLEASHESA CASCADE OFNEUROCHEMICALSAND GROWTH FACTORSTHAT PHYSICALLYBOLSTER THE BRAIN’SINFRASTRUCTURE.

And finally, New Scientist magazine (issue2,942) reported that Arthur Kramer, a cognitivepsychologist, published a paper which showsthat previously sedentary adults who undertookan aerobic fitness plan for six months boostedtheir cognitive performance. His researchshowed an improvement in the kind ofconcentration that allows us to switch betweendifferent tasks without making mistakes, andthat it is a key contributor to more generalintelligence.

With spring just around the corner and thedays getting lighter and longer, now could be theperfect time to review your exercise regime andstrategically enhance your brain function in theprocess. As the Daily Mail reported in January2009, it’s time to forget fish oil and Sudoku as itis exercise that makes you brainier and thathelps to reverse the signs of ageing. So what’sstopping you? n

Peter Horne is a qualified life coach with a passion forhelping people change things in their lives when they feelstuck. He works with individuals and organisations, andcan be contacted at [email protected]. Peter ismarried with four children and attends St Peter’s Church in Brighton.



BRIAN LITTRELLG

etty Images

BY JOY TIBBS

Iremember the exact moment as a teenager when I heard those three little words. No, not “I love you”, although that would have beenexciting. The special words I’m talking aboutwere put forth not by one, but by five youngmen… and in song.

They were, of course, “Backstreet’s back, alright”, andthese memorable words heralded a new era with the bestboy band in the world (I can say this without guilt asTake That had disbanded in ’96). So when I heard that Iwould be interviewing band member Brian Littrell, myheart started to beat that little bit faster.

The rise to fameBorn in New Jersey, Brian had originally planned to go toBible College with a view to becoming a minister. Butwhen the call from his cousin – fellow band memberKevin Richardson – came asking whether he wanted tojoin the group, he was keen to get involved. In fact, heflew to Orlando the very next day to join the fourexisting members of the band.

Brian came from a musical family and had always lovedsinging, whether he was at school, at his church (PorterMemorial Baptist Church in Lexington) or simplyaround the house. He was a member of every choir goingand even tried to get in on the action with an adultsinging group on one occasion.

“I remember being about nine or ten years old and Iwent to a church service and asked the choir director if Icould have the adult choir sing behind me for a special

song I was doing for church,” he recalls. “It was the firsttime the adult choir had accompanied a kid.

“[Singing] was something I loved and still love to do,but I didn’t know I was going to make a career out of it.”

Named after Orlando’s Backstreet Market, theBackstreet Boys (or BSB as the cool kids call them), gotoff to a fairly slow start in the US. They first performed atSeaWorld Orlando in 1993 and went on to appear at anumber of other tourist venues and schools.

“IT’S BEEN A RIDE; A FUNRIDE. IT’S ALSO BEENTOUGH. THERE HAVE BEENHIGHS AND LOWS.”

After initially struggling to secure a record deal, theywere signed the following year and really started to makea name for themselves in Europe. While the band’s firstsingle, “We’ve Got It Goin’ On”, debuted at number 69 inthe US, it made the top five in Austria, France,Germany, the Netherlands and Switzerland.

Global success followed and the five‐man vocal groupsoon climbed the charts and began to amass a series ofawards and accolades. Young ladies fell in love withthem and young men wanted to be them (I’m pretty surea lot of guys were practising the moves in front of themirror when no one was looking – don’t deny it!). Whentheir second album, Backstreet’s Back, was released in1997, they sold 28 million copies at the drop of a hat. f

The BoysareBack in

Town



Still in the mixUnlike many bands from this era, the Backstreet Boys’success has continued over the years. Their third album,Millennium, sold 1.1 million copies within a week ofrelease, eventually selling more than 12 million copies inthe US alone. Then in 2001 the band performed theAmerican national anthem in front of millions ofviewers at the Super Bowl XXXV in Tampa, Florida.Despite Kevin leaving and later rejoining the band, BSBhave proved that they are Unbreakable, hence the title oftheir sixth album.

In 2011 the boys joined forces with New Kids on theBlock to become NKOTBSB – a clever, if somewhatdifficult to pronounce name – for a year‐long tour thatspanned Australia, Asia, Europe and North America.With Kevin back in the ranks, the band celebrated their20th year of ‘Boyhood’ in 2012.

“Last year we received a star on the Hollywood Walk ofFame,” Brian says. “We’ve sold 130 million albumsworldwide. That’s a lot of records and that’s touched alot of people’s lives.

“It’s been a ride; a fun ride. It’s also been tough. Therehave been highs and lows.

“We’re coming up on our 21st anniversary, so I’ve been aBackstreet Boy for more than half my life. I guess I’ll be aBoy for all my life. I guess the best part of being an artistin general is the influence you do have on people;knowing that you’ve really touched someone in a positiveway. I think that’s why God put me in this situation.”

Feet on the groundAccording to Brian, it is his faith that has kept him ontrack over the years, both as part of the Backstreet Boysand in recording his own Christian music. Whileshooting to fame becomes a snare for many young stars,he claims that his belief in God and his commitment tofollowing Him have helped to keep him grounded.

Brian became a Christian at the age of eight and saysthat his faith is the “utmost important thing” in his life.He has always been open about his faith and believesthat his time with the Backstreet Boys has given him theperfect platform from which to demonstrate that hisbeliefs are more than just lip service; that he is living hisChristianity out in a very public way, day after day.

Although he admits that there is always temptation forthose in the limelight, he believes that resisting theobvious pitfalls and living a moral life is not onlybeneficial to him and his family, but also to those aroundhim and to those who buy his music.

A dedicated family man, Brian has been married towife Leighanne Wallace for almost 14 years and describestheir relationship as “very stable”. Rarely seen apart, theyhave a son called Baylee, who is now 11.

Growing upI should take a break at this point to mention that when Iwas put through to Brian by the PR company, he washumming away quietly to himself, which threw me a little.Then at this point in the interview he actually broke intosong. “Quit playing games with my heart,” he crooned, asmy own heart did a backflip that would have made JLS’Aston blush. It took me a few minutes to stop giggling andweeping at the same time. I may even have snorted.

Fortunately, just like Brian and his increasingly maturemusical style, I quickly remembered that I am no longer15 and managed to compose myself. Describing his newsound, Brian explains: “It’s growing. It’s ever changingand hopefully it’s getting better. My style is not so‘kiddish’ any more.” He claims that his eclectic soundcomes down to the fact that his musical influences are sovaried; including, but not limited to, Elvis, Dean Martinand gospel music.

Released in 2006, his debut solo album, Welcome Home,sold more than 100,000 copies in the US alone. The titletrack charted at number one on various US radio stations,

and he also found success with “In Christ Alone”, “Wish”and “Over My Head” from the same album.

He has won four Gospel Music Association (GMA)Dove Awards over the years, along with a Special EventAlbum of the Year award for compilation album GloryRevealed, Inspirational Recorded Song of the Year forcollaborative song “By His Wounds” and Special EventAlbum of the Year for Glory Revealed II.

While still a committed ‘Boy’, this sidestep intoChristian music has enabled Brian to show people whohe really is as a man rather than as a pop star and toexpress exactly what his faith means to him.

Using wealth for healthAnd while some might question why someone whoapparently has it all – the fame, the fortune and thefamily – needs God, Brian has faced some very realchallenges in his life so far. He has seen people close tohim struggle with drug and alcohol addiction, dealt withvarious management disputes and, most seriously,battled with his own health.

Born with a heart defect, Brian spent two months inhospital at the age of five and had to undergo open heartsurgery in 1998. A nasty bout of swine flu laterthreatened his health and led to the cancellation of aBSB promotional tour.

But rather than getting down about the pain andillness he has experienced over the years, Brian decidedto use his money, notoriety and experience to set up aHealthy Heart Club to help children who have heartproblems themselves.

The non‐profit organisation provides medical,financial and practical help for these kids, and whenBrian had his heart surgery he appealed to fans to donateto the fund rather than sending him gifts. He stillreceived hundreds of teddy bears and other gifts, butchildren from around the world also made small,sacrificial donations to the Healthy Heart Club.According to the singer, their generosity has made ahuge difference over the years.

More on the horizonSo as well as being a husband, father, Christian andlifelong Backstreet Boy, what are Brian’s hopes anddreams going forward? I asked him if there was anythinghe would like to do that he hasn’t already done. One ofthe things he has dabbled with in the past is acting andpresenting, and this is something Brian would certainlylike to do more.

Having previously appeared on Arthur, Sesame Street,and Sabrina The Teenage Witch, Brian recently joinedthe other BSBs in American comedy This Is the End,directed by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, which waswell received by critics. And these experiences havegiven him a real taste for life in front of the camera.

“I love TV, I’m a big ham,” says Brian. “That’s anAmerican saying that means you love the attention. It’sjust kind of a part of who I am. I love TV. I love moviesand getting behind the scenes.”

He claims that if the right opportunity comes along hewill play any role, whether it be a young kid, an old manor a shrewd basketball coach. I don’t know about you,but I’m looking forward to seeing more of Brian on thebig screen. Be still, my beating heart. n

BRIAN LITTRELL


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BY LUKE HAVARD

How’s life? What would you say if I askedyou that question? For many men, thetoken reply might be something along thelines of: “I can’t complain”, “Alright”, “OK”or “Not bad”. But how often are thesestandard answers simply a pre‐empted,

empty response designed to save from us fromacknowledging and sharing the truth?

When was the last time that you were dangerouslyhonest with someone? When was the last time you werebrutally honest with yourself? Let’s try again… How’s life?

Now I don’t know about your experience, but I speak toa lot of different people from all walks of life and there’sa common theme I find with almost everyone whenthey’re being dangerously honest. Life regularly feels likean uphill struggle.

You don’t need to be a psychic to know that struggle isall around us. People feel exhausted, depressed, angryand afraid. You only need to turn on the TV, read thepapers and even look at your own home. Life’s challengesare real for all of us. Marriage breakdown, financial worries,redundancy, stress and depression are real challenges thatreal people are struggling with on a daily basis.

But what if, in the midst of our darkest hours, wecould reinterpret our biggest challenges and mostpainful struggles and use them as the catalyst for ourgreatest breakthroughs?

OK, I think know what you’re probably thinking. Easyfor you to say. It makes for a great concept, but how doesthis pan out in the real world?

Please allow me to share my personal story of how Iwent from being a hopeless, uneducated, unemployableaddict to finding hope, love, marriage, fatherhood andbecoming a highly sought‐after advisor, inspiring up to700,000 people on a monthly basis.

Eight years ago I hit rock bottom. In truth I had beenstruggling for years, but this was my lowest ebb. I wasunemployed and addicted to drugs and alcohol, goingfrom one relationship to the next and my life was acomplete mess. After wasting years of my life in and outof trouble, I had exhausted all of my options and I wasfed up.

One day, when I was at the end of my tether, I wasgiven one last option. I discovered that I had inheritedsome money, so I took full advantage of this opportunityand booked a flight to Australia.

LUKE HAVARD

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LUKE HAVARD

A few months later, there I was living it up on BondiBeach. This was my chance at a clean slate. But after onlya matter of weeks, the cracks began to appear and as perusual my life began to unravel. I was heartbroken. Evenin paradise, I still managed to screw things up! I trieddesperately to leave my problems behind me, butwherever I went the problems came with me. I realisenow that my problems were never outside myself. Thereal problem lay within with me; hopelessly intertwinedin who I was.

THE ONLY WAY I CANDESCRIBE IT IS AS THOUGHTHERE WAS A FIGHT GOINGON FOR MY LIFE; LIKE I WASBEING PULLED FROM ONESIDE TO ANOTHER, FROMDEATH TO LIFE.

The truth hit me one day like a ton of bricks. All my life Ihad blamed others for my experience, when all along Iwas responsible for the life I had chosen. Even aftertravelling to the other side of the world I was still thesame person. I was still deeply insecure and unhappywith the person I was and I continued to make poordecisions. In my heart I knew how I wanted to be, butmy life was out of control. I felt like I was being hijackedby my emotions; like I was trapped on an emotionalrollercoaster and couldn’t get off. I was trapped in avicious cycle. My circumstances dictated my emotionsand my emotions determined my results in life.

One day I decided I’d had enough. I felt powerless tocontrol my life and was fed up of waiting for someone torescue me. I stood on the edge of the pavement feelingempty and heartbroken, riddled with anger and self‐loathing. I decided my life was no longer worth living.

My second chanceIn that moment I decided to jump in front of one of thebig tour buses that toured the red light district where Ilived. But just as I decided I was ready to go through withit, something happened.

Now I don’t know what you believe, but in thatmoment I had an undeniable encounter with God. Fromone moment to the next, I felt a deep need to live, like avoice inside me was telling me to reconsider. The onlyway I can describe it is as though there was a fight going

on for my life; like I was being pulled from one side toanother, from death to life.

I’m happy to say that the pull to live was so intensein that moment that I immediately stepped awayfrom the curb through shock. An overwhelmingsense of hope flooded my body and I knew, withoutfully understanding how, that there was more for me.

That day I gave my life to Christ and was instantly freefrom my addictions.I’m a completely different person now. I know that I am

100% forgiven of the mistakes that I made in the past.However, forgiveness was only the beginning of myjourney. Over the last eight years I have dedicated my lifeto studying human psychology and to helping othersmake the changes that we as individuals have to makefor ourselves.

I’ve realised that most people aren’t living the livesthey’re designed to live. Regardless of their faith, themajority of people believe they have very little controlover their destiny. The majority believe that they are atthe mercy of their thoughts, emotions andcircumstances. Most have stopped growing and takingrisks and have simply settled for the status quo. Thereality is, no one ever aimed for mediocrity, but in f



order to avoid feeling out of control, most people havechosen to play safe and use humility as an excuse.Secretly, many live in regret.

I’m here to tell you that you were born for more thanthis. You may not believe it, but we all have the power tochoose the thoughts, emotions, behaviours and resultswe want. And no one has to accept the status quo or putup with mediocrity.

Looking back, I realise the biggest challenges I faced inmy life have always been a result of the decisions andchoices I made, inspired by my emotions. I recognisethat in the past I was emotionally out of control and itbecame apparent that, in order for my life to change, Ifirst needed to manage my emotional state. On the daymy life was turned around, I also changed what Ibelieved about the world and my ability to influence mylife and the lives of others.

As a result, I’ve become really good at mastering myown psychology and helping thousands of others to dothe same. The shift that took place in my thinking wasthe belief that I am entirely responsible for my actionsand behaviour. I know that blaming my circumstancesand blaming other people for my current life experienceis not equipping me to live at my best or to fulfil thecalling on my life. Eight years ago I made the discoverythat the only way to change my life is to change what iswrong with myself first.

I’m not perfect. Cut me and I bleed just like everyoneelse. However, one thing that is very apparent for me isthat I no longer struggle in the way that I did previously.I’m no longer consumed with fear or anxiety. I’m nolonger controlled by what other people think of me.I no longer feel overwhelmed by stress, worry or anger.

I honestly can’t remember the last time I lay awake atnight stewing over how I’m going to pay my bills ordreading going to a job that I hate. I’m in control of mythoughts and emotions.

When I met God in that red light district eight yearsago, he forgave me of my past and equipped me to start anew life as a leader. And that’s when my lifelong journeyto harnessing my personal leadership started.

Now’s the time to awaken theleader withinThe greatest myth perpetuated by society is thatleadership begins and ends in the corporate boardroom.The truth is, real leadership starts in your own living room.

Regardless of what you believe or whether you have afaith or not, if you’re feeling unhappy, uninspired andunfulfilled, it’s because you are not being the leader ofyour own destiny.

But I’ve got some good news! It doesn’t have to be thisway. I can show you exactly what is causing you to struggleand why. And, most importantly, I can teach you step‐by‐step solutions to overcoming your biggest challenges andstruggles so that you can take back control of your life andenjoy the life you were designed to live. n

Luke Havard is the founder of Extraordinary Human Potential, HighValue Entrepreneur and Dangerous Honesty. These brands provide lifeand business strategy/consultancy via books, programmes, events,experiences and one‐to‐one consultancy, either in person or over thephone. Luke’s clients include politicians, CEOs, entrepreneurs, publicfigures and many more. His message reaches a collective audience of700,000 worldwide on a monthly basis through videos, blog posts andarticles on becoming a leader in life and in business.

LUKE HAVARD


Advertising Sales: D

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BEN STILLER

Starting earlyBen’s childhood was a terrific training ground for both astellar Hollywood career and a happy home life. He andhis sister Amy often performed plays at home, wearingAmy’s tights to perform Shakespeare. Ben was alsointerested in being on the other side of the camera and, atthe age of ten, he began shooting films on his Super 8mmcamera. Back then the plots were simple: someone wouldpick on the shy, awkward Stiller and he would always gethis revenge. Now a long way from his humble moviebeginnings, his success has been the best ‘revenge’.

So how much can Ben’s success be attributed to hisparents’ prominence? “So my parents, they called up thehead of show business and said, ‘Can you please get myson a job?’ And I was rocketed straight to the top of theline,” he jokes.

“You know, it’s strange. It’s kind of like something thatwe didn’t even think about growing up, because we wereso involved in that world. So I don’t think I second‐guessed it. I just kind of said, ‘Okay, this is what I wantto do.’

“When I was ten years old I wanted to make movies. Isaw Jaws, and was just kind of hooked. I made my ownshort films and Super 8 movies as a kid. I just reallynever even thought about doing anything else. The onlyquestion was, did I want to act or direct? Or did I want tobe serious or funny?

“For a while I wanted to be very serious, because myparents were funny. I wanted to rebel against that and gomy own way. And then I realised I enjoyed the humorousaspect of it more. I was really drawn to it and I stoppedkind of denying that after a while.” f

Ben Stiller on the film set of The Secret Life

of Walter Mitty.

The Secret Life of

Ben StillerEven as a child, Ben Stiller knew films would feature in his future.

But would he act or direct? And would he favour comedy like his parents or become a ‘serious’ actor?

BY JESSICA YOUNG

Ben Stiller has learned several vital lifelessons from his famous parents: workextremely hard, stay fiercely loyal tofamily and close friends, and alwaysmake time for a nap. Each of these hasheld him in good stead over the years,

especially through the pressures of directing andstarring in A‐list movies.

Ben has always looked to his parents – Jerry Stiller andAnne Meara – for love and moral support as well as forcareer advice. Having grown up in the family business,the quirky comic actor has taken his family’s legendaryshowbiz legacy to new levels.

“SO MY PARENTS, THEYCALLED UP THE HEAD OFSHOW BUSINESS AND SAID,‘CAN YOU PLEASE GET MYSON A JOB?’ AND I WASROCKETED STRAIGHT TOTHE TOP OF THE LINE.”

He came into contact with various producers, directors andother celebrities during his younger years in Manhattanand as a child he couldn’t work out why his parents were sopopular. “If my parents were plumbers, who knows what Iwould be doing now?” says Stiller. “In some ways, it was ashow business upbringing – a lot of travelling, a lot of latenights – not what you’d call traditional.”



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On the setBen’s latest film, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, tells thetale of an officer worker at Life magazine who lives insidevarious fantasy worlds to fill his previously untappedadventurous side. The original movie starring DannyKaye debuted in 1947 and both movies are based on ashort story written by James Thurber. Playing theeponymous hero, Ben’s character joins a dating service tohelp romance his lovely co‐worker Cheryl, played byKristen Wiig.

Shortly after this, Walter finds himself on a globalquest to put things right when their jobs are threatenedby a high‐tech takeover of the magazine. Filmed inGreenland and Iceland, Ben did a fair number of thestunts himself, even ending up in shark‐infested watersat one point.

“I have an incredible stuntman, but I did a lot of that,”he reveals. “Honestly, I did as much as I felt I couldactually do. So, we got in the water for real in Iceland. Ididn’t jump out of the actual helicopter, but we did get inthe real water in Iceland, with the boat there. And itdefinitely felt like I was doing… something! And then wewere actually up there doing a lot of those hiking shots.You know, all that stuff up on the glaciers and stuff.”

And it didn’t end there. “I got on the skateboard, butthen we had great skateboard doubles too, who did thebig, serious stuff. But it was incredibly exciting to be apart of that and to have an opportunity to do that stuff.And at one point, I had to do a shot in the water wherethe boat was coming at me in the water.

So the camera was in the boat and the boat had to goaway to shoot the shot. So they dropped me in the water,and the boat went away. And I was just in the water, inthe North Sea. Like, with nobody around me and five‐foot swells! And I had that moment like, okay this is amovie, but it’s also real life, and there really could be ashark there!”

So how did this adventure make him feel? “It wasgreat,” he shares. “It was one of those moments where Irealised that never in a million years would I have achance to do something like this if I didn’t have anopportunity to make this movie.

“But there were a lot of rickety old doorless helicopterrides! Yeah, the helicopter stuff was all real. They foundthis 50‐year‐old helicopter. It was actually the originalHawaii Five‐0 helicopter, literally. And the helicopterpilot kept on saying, ‘Man, I wish this thing had morepower’, which is not what you want to hear! But it all feltso very real and I think that all helps the actors. It helpedme as an actor and it helped everybody feel like it wasactually happening.”

A new realityAccording to Stiller, the film was “a lot of fun” to make,but it also had an important job to do in highlighting theplight of many US workers who have lost their jobs inrecent years.

“To me that’s one of the great things about this story,”he says, “and that it is put in that context, and thatbesides getting into the idea of who the character is, it’sput in the context of what is going on in the world todayand generationally.

“Guys of my age living in a world, we’re all living in thisworld where it’s really transformed from analogue todigital. It’s in the process of doing that and what gets leftbehind with that, which is really an important part ofthe telling of the story. It’s the idea that the permanenceof pictures and tactile things – that’s all going away. Youknow, now we don’t buy CDs or albums, obviously. Wedownload things.

“But Walter’s job is to take care of actual physicalobjects and he cares about that. And he cares about hisco‐workers, and the process, and all of that. And thatwas something I think that just gave it a context. And tome, that was really resonant, you know? And worththinking about today, now.

“The Life magazine workplace idea, I think, was a greatway of encapsulating that and what’s going on in theworld in terms of downsizing great journalism andmagazines going away. And the filmmaking process haschanged so much, too. It’s all changing and happeningso much quicker. Even the pace of the movie honoursthat, too.

“We wanted to create a world where everything is real,but sort of in its own world a little bit. And a tone whereyou felt all this was kind of happening, even if it’s all alittle hyper‐real. And I think it has the spirit of theoriginal story and the character that Thurber created,which is obviously an iconic character.”

“MY MOVIES ARE ALLDIFFERENT, BUT IT JUSTKIND OF FELL OUT THATWAY. IT WASN’T LIKE AMASTER PLAN.”

Stiller the storytellerTalking about the challenges of fleshing out what is real,and what is only taking place inside Mitty’s head, Bensays: “I think that was really one of the facets of thescript, right off the bat. And the idea that the fantasies inWalter’s head related to parts of his ‘self ’ and who hecould be, or who he wanted to be, as opposed to being adifferent character; and just what he was under thesurface that he didn’t realise.

“And then, obviously, to have fun with it and enjoy theidea of being able to be in different worlds, and then thecomedy to come out of that. But for me, that idea ofunderstanding how each fantasy leads him to becomingwho he is and ultimately being able to realise his role. Sothat was really important. But the challenge is that whenyou have fantasies outside the story, the audience doeswant to see the story unfold. So it’s very challenging tokeep the momentum going while having the fantasiesplay out.

“So originally we had envisioned these much moreelaborate fantasies and they went on a lot longer, but aswe developed the script and working on the script, werealised that we had to keep tearing it down, and thatprocess continued until the end of the movie.”

According to Stiller, the key here was finding a balanceand keeping the momentum of the story going. “And also

BEN STILLER

Brandon T Jackson as Alpa Chino, Ben Stiller as

Tugg Speedman and RobertDowney Jr as Kirk Lazarus

in Tropic Thunder.

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having enough of the fantasies in there to give you a senseof what is going on,” he continues. “And it looked likeWalter was just having a lot of fun. But we spent a lot oftime, the whole team, envisioning these crazy fantasiesthat we ended up having to cut for budgetary reasons.

“For instance, originally there was a fantasy thathappened on Sixth Avenue, sitting by the fountain. Anda Lawrence of Arabia fantasy, pretending to comegalloping up on horses and looking like Anthony Quinnand then riding the horses down into the subway. Thenthey go through the subway and they come up out of theother side. And they’re in the desert, and then they endup kind of singing this song from Greece! And I don’tknow where they got that! But it was funny, basically.

“But we just realised as we went along that we had tokeep tearing it down. And it also became reallyimportant to focus the fantasies; and on Walter andCheryl, and Walter wanting to connect with Cheryl. Sowe kept on working on that, all the way through theprocess of making the movie.”

The direct approachBen is well known for his hard work and dedication, sohow does he go about choosing which projects to takeon? “If you throw enough stuff up at the wall,something’s going to stick,” he says. “It’s kind of been mytheory on it, just keep going and try to choose stuff thatinterests you. I take full responsibility for choosing to dothe movies.

“In terms of what’s going to get released when andhow things do, you try to just make judgments foryourself personally, what you think is right to do. Andthen you never know what is going to happen. Mymovies are all different, but it just kind of fell out thatway. It wasn’t like a master plan. I think I just said, ‘Allright, you know what? This seems to be happening rightnow, so I’ll just go with it.’”

He is passionate about directing as well as appearing infront of the camera, and this has enabled him to call theshots on a range of challenging films, including thislatest effort and 2008 film Tropic Thunder.

“I love directing movies,” he explains. “I love movies.Tropic Thunder, every movie has its own story. AndTropic Thunder was something that Justin Theroux and Ihad been working on for about eight years. I got the ideafor the movie when I was working on Empire of the Sun,in 1987. So I was an extra in a war movie and TropicThunder had been percolating for a while.

“But for me, I don’t look at it thematically, I just kind oflook at what is exciting and seems engaging andsomehow connects, you know? Something I would wantto see as a movie. So I think that’s really important. Andthis movie is the kind of movie I would love to see.

“And then the idea of the process of making it, becauseit is a long process, and what is going to keep youengaged and what’s going to excite you enough that youare going to see it through. You know, for a number ofyears you have to, so that’s how it works. And really, it’sjust sort of a very personal thing.

“It’s all about trust. I need to trust the actors and theyneed to trust me, because they know I’m acting withthem in the scene. So they need to also trust me as adirector. And you know if I’m mostly watching them inthe scene as a director that I’m not going to be a goodactor, and that’s already challenging.

“So it’s one of those things where you get into a rhythmand you figure it all out as you go along. And the actorswere so great in supporting that process. So you hiregreat, talented people, because that is really a huge partof it. If you hire great actors, they’re going to bring somuch to it.

“And we all got into it. We watched a few movies[including The Apartment and Being There] together andtalked about what we called the ‘tone’ of the movie, and

what we wanted it to be. So that was important, too; thatbonding experience, of just watching somethingtogether and hanging out, and having a connectionbefore you get on the set. You know, when there’spressure on. And then it doesn’t feel like just anotherjob; you are in it together.

“But we watched all those movies that were inspiring,and not necessarily in any specific way, but just watchingsomething good. And watching movies that get youexcited to try to do something good too, like Zoolanderand The Cable Guy! All the blockbusters!”

Family manStiller is happily married to American actress andcomedian Christine Taylor‐Stiller, who played Marcia inThe Brady Bunch Movie and Matilda in Zoolander. Theyhave two children: Ella, 11, and Quinn, 8.

Having always been close to his own father, Ben isdetermined to be a great dad to his own children. “Youwant to love them and protect them and let them be whothey are, all in one,” he says. “Since I’m still a big kid, wehave great fun together. It is a wonderful adventure.” Whenhe’s not working hard and being a family man, he stillfinds time for the occasional nap. n

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BY RICHARD SCOTT

It is often said that doctors make the worstpatients. Aware of the risks, we smoke lessthan we did but still drink handsomely, andour dangerous habits don’t stop there. As aprofession, we have a higher‐than‐averagesuicide rate, partly because access to

dangerous drugs means we’re good at it! Thismay come as something of a surprise to manypeople. Patients get ill, but the clue’s in thetitle: doctors are meant to stay well… aren’tthey?

In 2011, my bottom began to misbehave.Actually, my wife would disagree, never havingviewed my bowels as a strong point. However,towards the middle of the year I becameincreasingly familiar with the toilet seat.Anyone coming my way professionally with asimilar story involving frequency and slimewould have pretty rapidly become acquaintedwith the sharp end of a colonoscope, butdoctors are different. Knowing what lay ahead, Isat on my symptoms, determined to ride themout if possible.

ONE THING I’VELEARNT IN LIFE, NOT LEAST FROMPATIENTS, IS THAT IT’SNOT WHAT HAPPENSTO YOU IN LIFE THATCOUNTS, BUT HOW YOURESPOND.

Then one day I was about to preach in church.Needing to concentrate, I popped outbeforehand for some relief, but none came as Ifilled the pan with red, sticky stuff. Two medicalterms came to mind – beggar and spit – but intruth the blood came as no great surprise, for Ihad already decided that if I bled I would haveto do something.

Confessing all to my dearest, I was a tadsheepish and in all honesty she wasn’t bestpleased either. Not because of the likelydiagnosis, for cancer is common and if anypart of me was going to let me down, hermoney would’ve been on my colon; butbecause I hadn’t told her that things weren’tright. We’ve always been a partnership andeven if I had chosen to cast a blind eye, shewouldn’t have.

Knowing what was coming, the onlyquestion was: how bad? Playing dumb and notconfessing early cost me, as the tumour hadalready spread to a lymph gland. Fortunatelyjust the one, but I could have saved myself asecond dose of chemotherapy if I had played

the process, it not only made sense, it struckme as the best deal ever. When the call came, Iput up my hand.

I became a Christian at 14 and all was goingwell, but life has a habit of tripping you up. Itook my eye off the ball at 18. Putting all myefforts into sport, girls and changing theinitials before my name, my faith remainedintact in theory, but in practice I had stoppedfollowing God. No Bible, no church and prettyminimal praying led to increasingly bad lifedecisions and, at 26, the wheels came off.

I was at a medical party stressed out of myhead, so I left the crowd and slid into a darkroom alone. It was time for God to step into mylife again. In my head, clear as day, I sensedHim say, “You’ve gone away from me”. That wasit, but He was right and I did Him a deal: sortout my problems and I’ll never leave you again.And while You’re at it, I need to get the girl (I’dmessed up my relationship with Heather threeyears previously). Within six weeks He haddone it all, with Heather agreeing to give meanother chance. I knew, conclusively andforever, that there is a God in heaven and thatHe cares.

That was half a lifetime ago. Keeping my sideof the bargain meant no longer living a selfishlife. Part of that meant following Himpersonally, but equally, how could I keep thegood news to myself? As a GP in Margate since1998, I’ve seen drug addicts and alcoholics aswell as depressed, anxious and angry peoplechange as they have committed their lives toChrist.

It hasn’t always been easy, and we’ve buriedmany with faith who didn’t walk away fromabusing substances, but once you’veexperienced God in action in people’s lives,you want to see more. I’ve known Him answerprayers for finances and accommodation,bring families back together and evenmercifully keep one guilty bloke out of prisonwhen he had gone down eight timespreviously! Prayer makes a big difference andit’s no exaggeration to say that this stuff getsme up in the morning. So having been in bigtrouble myself at 26, I knew where to turnwhen the brown (and red) stuff hit the fan aquarter of a century later.

Anecdotally, I already knew that Godanswered prayers. That alone would have beenenough for me to get on my knees when mycancer was outed. But God had already doneme another favour in advance. The previousyear I had run into trouble with myprofessional body after a patient’s mother hadcomplained to the General Medical Councilabout me talking to her (adult) son about faithin my surgery.

In defending myself, I needed more thanpersonal examples of faith benefitting health

RICHARD SCOTT

smart. That just left telling the kids.Heather and I have three girls. As a fellow

medic, she has always accused me of lacking Ychromosomes, but I was just as delighted whenthe third girl emerged as I was when numberone popped out, and now I can’t even imaginecoping with sons. All three have now lefthome, but bad news travels fast and when theword went out, the two oldest rushed homefrom university full of concern and tears.

What did it mean? Will dad still be at ourweddings? And if not, who’ll teach our kids toplay tennis? There were so many questions andit was all so unexpected; for them at least. Ihad had an inkling that all wasn’t rosy, butthey had had no clue. The sky remained bluefor all of us until I owned up.

We were a family with the usual concerns.Heather and I were getting paid to makeothers better, while the usual preoccupationsfor the kids involved mobile phones, boys andgetting through exams. Not now. Ouroffsprings’ financial and social needs took aback seat as my nether regions assumed prideof place, and the shock for Heather was no lessmomentous. Having recently turned 50, shewas glad to have left behind trial relationshipsand the early job market, achieving a measureof security in the process. But now this hugegrey cloud emerged from nowhere, blottingout the sun. As she remarked, this was notmeant to happen. Not so soon. Not now.

One thing I’ve learnt in life, not least frompatients, is that it’s not what happens to you inlife that counts, but how you respond. Andhow you respond depends on where you arecoming from. My background was non‐Christian. Dropped off at Sunday School byparents who then sped off into the distance, Isensed early on that their hearts weren’t soldon God and nor was mine. I left, aged five,seemingly never to return.

But God had other ideas. My secondaryschool had a strong Christian Union, whichran great summer camps. British bulldog byday (banned only after someone broke theirleg) and four‐goal footy by night, with thepitch lit up by car headlamps, it was the bestweek of the year. The quid pro quo was thatyou had to attend the evening meeting.

Based in a hot, sweaty marquee with achance to sing and let off more steam, it wasno big deal, but by the third year I thought Iought to at least vaguely open my ears to thetalk. And it made sense. Essentially, we dostuff wrong – I had no problem grasping thatas a 14‐year‐old lad – and this separates usfrom God. We can’t sort it ourselves as we’re soflawed and continue to make the samemistakes, so He did it for us. By then thespeaker had really caught my attention. WhenI learnt that Jesus took the rap, forgiving us in

Out of a Clear Blue Sky



RICHARD SCOTT

and came across thousands of scientificpapers, summarised by three Americanprofessors. In every area studied, whetherrelating to mental or physical health, the vastmajority of papers showed improvement inhealth where the patient (or their carers) hadan active faith, or at the very least nochange. Only a tiny percentagerecorded the opposite effect.

And these health benefitsweren’t merely limited tominor conditions. Forexample, faith led toimprovement in thoseadmitted withschizophrenia, whilethose recovering fromhip and heart surgeryalso did better if theywere believers.Statistically, Christianseven live longer!

But what aboutcancer? It has beenmy problem since 2011and may be yours inthe future, as eachone of us Brits alivetoday currently has a42% chance ofdeveloping aninvasive tumourduring our lifetimes.Isn’t it still on the rise?Hasn’t God turnedHis back on this one?And, if not, whatevidence is there that Hecan cope with a disease thatprobably frightens men andwomen more than any other?

It’s a big one, and if you’d like to knowmore, please consult my new book, God, I’veGot Cancer (available via my email,[email protected]). Suffice it to say, eventhough all of us will be aware of friends andmaybe family who have succumbed to ‘the bigC’, God isn’t impotent here, either!

Cancer arrived in my family out of a clear bluesky. Grateful that it picked on me rather thanany of my beautiful girls, it represented not justa major threat to my health and longevity, butchallenged my way of thinking. Getting the bestmedical care was a no‐brainer, but what rolemight I play in my own future? Was I merely apassive bystander, observing the results ofinvestigations and treatment and just hopingfor a good outcome, or was there some way Icould influence events?

Right from the beginning I knew the answer.The Bible tells us that all of our lives are inGod’s hands; that He numbers our days andthat, when problems arise, there is nothingthat exceeds His ability to help us throughthem. Truly, nothing is impossible for God.When faithful King Hezekiah in OldTestament times learnt that he was dying, hebroke down in front of God, who promptlyhealed him and granted him another 15 yearsof life. What was true for him could help metoo, I figured. So I got praying and askedothers to join me.

Only the details have changed over the years.We’re just as needy now as we ever were. Your

issues will be different from mine, for greyclouds come in different guises. Bad health isbut one. Broken families are another.Addictions such as gambling and porn are athird. Then there are hurts from the pastresurfacing. So much can ruin our blue skymentality.

Fellas, every grey cloud is an opportunity tobanish the lie of self‐sufficiency. We’re introuble and, if we’re honest, we know we needhelp. Now is the time to turn to Him. It may befor the first time or, like me, life may have gotin the way and you need to return aftersomething of a gap. Either way, He’s there justwaiting for the handbrake to be taken off,waiting and longing for the prodigal to return.Waiting for you. n



BY JOY TIBBS

Recent news reports reveal that fundingcuts and moves to banish art lessonsfrom schools have had a significantimpact on the number of studentswho are willing or able to pursue art asa career. However, emerging artist Kyle

Barnes is testament to the fact that fresh new artisticstyles from young people are necessary if the art world isto continue to evolve.

Having graduated in 2010 from the University of Ulster,Belfast, with a BA Honours degree in Fine and AppliedArts, Kyle is already making waves in the art world. Aswell as winning the Towry prize at the National OpenArt Competition, he has exhibited at the Pallant HouseGallery in Chichester and the Royal Ulster Academy inBelfast. His work can also be enjoyed by those visitingthe Four Seasons Hotel in Dublin.

Kyle’s most recent oil on canvas works depict stark,realist close‐ups of ordinary looking people inextraordinarily detail. Every fold of the skin isemphasised, the expression is carefully captured and thehands in each profile are covered in brightly colouredpaint. Sorted caught up with Kyle to find out more aboutthe artist and his craft.

IF YOU REALLY LOVESOMETHING LIKE ARTTHERE’S A NEED TO WORK, ANEED TO MAKE MARKS ANDHAVE THAT CO-ORDINATIONBETWEEN THE VISUAL, THEMIND AND BODY.

Has art always been important to you?I grew up always loving art, or more the ability to capturea likeness of something that was meaningful to me, likemy favourite cartoon character. As a child I was alwaysdrawing with pencil and using colouring pencils.Through school it was my favourite subject hands down.

For me, art is something you can lose yourself in.When you’re involved in a piece of work, your mind goesto many places as you’re working; perhaps related to thesubject matter or maybe not. It’s like reading a book orwatching a movie. Art takes you on an adventure andeach piece is a journey.

KYLE BARNES

HANDS-ONART



KYLE BARNES

The arts can be difficult to excel in. Has this everput you off?They can be difficult to excel in from a career point of view.But if you really love something like art there’s a need towork, a need to make marks and have that co‐ordinationbetween the visual, the mind and body. Nothing can putyou off doing something you love and for me art is likethat. I do art firstly to satisfy that need within myself, andif people like the result then it’s a bonus.

How did university help you hone your skills?The best thing about university was being able to share aworking space with other creative people. I reallyenjoyed walking in each day and having a look at whatelse was going on. It was the first time that I was in anenvironment with that amount of visual creativity, andthat was great to feed off.

It was great to talk to other painters and share thingsabout the technical aspects of painting. It was like acommunity, and as one person figured out a better wayof doing something you were able to learn from that.

Tell us about the Towry Prize. How did it feel to win? Winning the Towry Prize came about through hearingabout The National Open Art Competition online. Thisis an open competition where you can enter your work,which will then face a panel of judges before beingselected or rejected to go into the exhibition.

I find it exciting to show with other great artists, andentering competitions like this is a great platform and agreat way to have your work shown in places where it haslots of exposure. Getting selected is the greatest feeling, butin this case I got an email stating that I had won the TowryPrize for the best work from Northern Ireland as well.

Something like this gives you confidence in your workand that you’re touching people with it. That’s anamazing feeling. For each painting I spend two or threeweeks with it in the studio with no one else seeing it, it’sjust mine. When it’s finished I release it out into theworld, and when it touches people in some way it justmeans so much.

What other work-related highs have youexperienced to date?After winning the Towry prize, the same painting (Billand Ben) was then selected to be shown in theprestigious Pallant House Gallery. Every sale is a highbecause, as I was saying before about spending weekswith each piece and it becoming a part of you, when youshow it to people and they get something from it, itmakes it all the more worthwhile.

For someone to put their money into it and buy it issuch a compliment, and for me it’s a friend made as well,as very often I get to know the person quite well andkeep in contact afterwards.

How would you describe your style?My style probably falls into photorealism, but for me Ijust try my best to capture someone’s personality in myportraits as much as anything else. That’s what makes agood portrait: when you can look at a piece of work andsay that it looks like the subject, but that it also is themin terms of their expression, their soul and how theyhold themselves.

I love working with paint and letting it stay true to itsproperties. I’m not trying to make the paint appear to besomething it’s not or another material. I allow the viewerto see my brushstrokes and the craftsmanship of my work.

Up close you can see how I’ve blended andmanipulated the paint. You can see where onebrushstroke stops and another one starts. Then, as youmove further away and look at the painting from adistance, it comes together to create a harmony of f



tonal value and colour. It becomes more than paint; itbecomes your subject, which has personality andpresence. That’s the magic of paint.

Where do you draw your inspiration from?I draw inspiration from many artists, both past andpresent: Alyssa Monks, David Kassan and Eloy Moralesand other great contemporary figurative painters. I alsolove all the classics like Rembrandt, Caravaggio and DaVinci. I love the old masters’ use of light and dark and thedramatic, exaggerated poses. I look to modern paintersfor their use of colour and particularly composition.

How do you choose your subjects?

I’m drawn to great faces that have lived and seen theworld; people that have a story to tell and that have awealth of experience. Very often they will be people Iknow and am close to. People that I love.

I think this makes a difference in the work. When youknow someone it’s easier to show that on canvas. I lovehow light plays off the face and shows its structure. I’mvery interested in the texture of our skin and how I cantranslate that with paint.

Does your Christian faith affect your work?

My love for people affects each painting I do. I lovelistening to people and hearing about the experiencesthey’ve had in their lives. In many ways I’m capturingthe journey a person has had up until that point; theevents that have made them who they are; theexperiences that have shaped their faces.

God has given me my talent and it’s my duty to bringHim glory through that in doing work to the best of theabilities He has given. That’s what I focus on and I let Himsteer my career as an artist in the way that He knows best.I have found that He opens each door of opportunity inHis time and at the right time. He tells us to seek Himfirst and all the other things will be added unto us.

KYLE BARNES

What are your long-term hopes and dreams? I would love to show my work in London – thatwould be a great next move – but we’ll see what thefuture holds. As I said, it’s in God’s hands. I justwant people to enjoy or even be inspired by thework, and for it to give them even a little of what itgives to me. n

Joy is a freelance editor and writer (www.joyofediting.co.uk), withexperience ranging from websites and magazines to dissertationsand books. She is an active member of her local church, a staunchLiverpool supporter and a big fan of baked goods.



JESUS SAVES RACING

The time: April 30, 1978.The place: Nürburgring, The Eifel mountains, Germany.

The event: European Formula Two Championship, round three.

The smell of burnt fuel hangs in theatmosphere, mingled with the tang of hotrubber. The distant shrill of revs rising andfalling echoes through the Eifel mountain air.In the blink of an eye, three moderngladiators erupt onto the scene at 170mph,

nose to tail, jostling out of time while screaming inunison. The whine of racing gearboxes combines withthe song of finely tuned two‐litre engines. The revs falltowards calm for a few seconds as the brakes heatthrough, only for the lull to be interrupted by therhythmic barking of exhausts with each heel‐and‐toedown change. Engines spit and pop on the overrun astongues of fire lick from the now disappearing tailpipes.

The tightest of battles on the longest, toughest andmost glorious of tracks is on. Formula One won’t evenventure here; not since Niki Lauda’s horrific fiery Ferraricrash of ’76. This ultimate driving experience nowremains the ultimate challenge for the Formula One‐hungry drivers of the Formula Two fraternity.

Two of the three men in view would go on to becomehousehold names in the years that followed. KekeRosberg (father of Nico) would become the 1982 F1World Champion driving a Williams, while EddieCheever would progress to race Grand Prix for more thanten years and would become the USA’s ‘most capped’ F1driver. But the man in front is quite different…

The cars leave the scene for another 14 miles: 7 minutesand 20 seconds. The revs fade, but the aroma andtension lingers.

The image of the cars in their bright liveries isimpressed upon the minds of each of the 100,000spectators long after the cars have vanished. The logosare distinct as the innocent graphics of the day are bold,plain, bright and brash. The cars of Rosberg (Chevron‐Hart) and Cheever (March‐BMW) declare their driversto be well funded, but the leader in the blood red March782 Hart wears the most distinctive colours and‘sponsorship’ of all: “Jesus Saves”. The driver’s name?Alex Dias Ribeiro.

The three burst into view for the final time. They are soclose now that they move fully as one: front wingstucked under rear wings, noses on gearboxes. Ribeiroholds his position by the slimmest of margins as thechequered flag falls on the line. Alex punches the air toclaim the race of his life and the Jesus Saves team takesthe win of the year against all odds. Just three‐fifths of asecond cover the top three.

The previous year, Alex had climbed to the headyheights of F1 with the March team and it certainly hadn’tbeen easy to decide which team would bring the bestopportunities. March had won the season before withRonnie Peterson and its offer was attractive, but BernieEcclestone, who owned Brabham, also had an offer onthe table.

In the end, it was clear that the March deal was theright one based on current results and pay, but hindsightis a wonderful thing. Brabham went on to becomeunstoppable for a time in the following years. Alex wasthe best driver at March in ’77, but his sponsors lostinterest and the team hierarchy chose to blame thedrivers instead of their poor car.

A brief return to F1 materialised for Alex with theFittipaldi team in 1979 and, while Alex no doubt enjoyedracing with and for his double world champion friendEmerson, he would not return to the pinnacle of

Resurrection of aVisionBY ALVIN DAVIES



JESUS SAVES RACING

motorsport again as a driver. He later served as the firstdriver of the F1 medical car alongside F1’s legendarypioneering doctor, neurosurgeon Sid Watkins. However, it was during the years spent climbing to thetop of motorsport’s tough career ladder that Alexfounded and established a unique racing phenomenon:Jesus Saves Racing.

As Alex had returned to Formula 1 in ’79, it fell to hisyounger brother Fernando to take over the Jesus Savesteam driving duties as an emerging talent in the morejunior category of Formula Ford. The season was goodfor Fernando. He won regularly and finished second inthe RAC championship. In fact, Fernando impressed somuch that he was offered a European Formula Ford drivewith Royale for 1980 and a deal was struck that wouldmean that the Jesus Saves logos would again be hisprime ‘sponsor’. But 1980 came and went, and by theseason’s end that autumn Fernando and Alex returned toBrazil with their professional racing days behind them.

Alex had grown tired of the fight to stay in the F1 circuswith its constant demand to find sponsorship. Fernandohad again been mighty and finished the year on thebrink of taking the European Formula Ford crown, onlyto find himself in an irresolvable dispute with his teamboss Pat Symonds. A few points in the final round atHockenheim would have given him the crown, but withthe dispute unresolved Fernando refused to get in thecar. He finished third in the championship, but thepressure cooker of racing had taken its toll on bothbrothers. Alex moved on towards business, while illhealth forced Fernando out.

FOR ALEX, THE JESUS SAVESLOGO WAS A DECISION ANDA LIFE CHOICE. IT WAS THEULTIMATE THING HEBELIEVED IN.

After three glorious years, the Jesus Saves team shut upshop and sold their workshop lease on Unit 5aSilverstone to a designer and race car constructor by thename of Richard Owen. The Ribeiros headed for Brazil,while their trusted mechanic Alastair MacQueenembraced the sanctuary of consistent work with MarchCars in Bicester. The Jesus Saves name had flourishedduring those three seasons, but in reality it had beenyears in the making.

Alex Ribeiro had started out racing in 1967 in a sportsclubman car built from his father’s wrecked VW Beetle.With this car (dubbed ‘the ugly duckling’), he and abunch of friends were able to race Brazil’s motorsportelite. In their homebuilt special, they played the Alfas,Porsches and Alpine Renaults at their own game.

Each car Alex subsequently drove displayed the distinctJesus Saves script logo. Sometimes the logo was seenalongside perfume, oil, fuel, bank and cigarette logos,but Jesus Saves was always on Alex’s cars. It became apermanent part of the deals he brokered with the teamshe drove for. It featured on his one‐off sports cars, on hiskart when he won the Brazilian Karting Championshipin ’70 and ’71 (when his mechanic was none other thaneventual three‐times world F1 champion Nelson Piquet),and it was on his title‐winning Formula Ford in 1973. Itappeared on the F3 and F2 winning cars he raced in theUK, and ultimately it was on his March 771 F1 car in 1977.

However, the Jesus Saves logo was never a pay ticket ora sponsor’s cheque, like the other brands. It neverbrought in a penny. For Alex, the Jesus Saves logo was adecision and a life choice. It was the ultimate thing hebelieved in.

Alex’s approach was quite unique in the world ofsports, in which people often go to excessive lengths to

win. Of course, there have been far too many caseswhere Olympic fair play has been marred by thedesperate. From drugs in track and field to storing bloodin the fridge in cycling, the desire for success,achievement and recognition has at times been extreme.

Motorsport itself has had its fair share of those whohave confused the competitive spirit. For instance,motor racing’s governing body has taken disciplinaryaction against Pat Symonds and Flavio Briatore inrelation to the orchestrated winning of the 2008Singapore Grand Prix involving Piquet Junior at Renault,as well as with Michael Schumacher for pushing JacquesVilleneuve off when a title could have been gained.These are clear examples of when the grasp on reality hasbeen overtaken by a grasp for success.

Compared with this ‘sporting’ mindset, Alex Ribeiro’sapproach to sponsorship becomes a most uniqueproposition, because to place any faith‐based logoalongside a secular sponsor’s branding risks losing thosepartners altogether, and sponsorship is motorsport’s lifeblood.

However, faith came before winning for the Brazilian andAlex saw Jesus Saves as an intrinsic extension of himself. Itwas something he didn’t want to divide from his own nameon the side of the car. Jesus Saves was as good as his ownlife blood, rather than being a choice of whether a sponsorcould be gained by leaving it off the car.

On returning to Brazil, Alex and Fernando got stuckinto the world of business: Fernando within computingand Alex initially in farming. Fernando would eventuallysettle and race successfully once again in California;however, Alex’s jojoba farm went south with a terriblefirst year as his crops were attacked and blighted.

From this position, Alex was able to step onto a wholedifferent path towards Christian sports ministry andchaplaincy. He had competed in that high‐pressureworld, where to win means a career and to lose means apossible loss of work and future. He knew the pressure,the highs and the lows, and this way he could helpothers in their own walk, sport and faith.

The rest is history, and more than 30 years on Alex haspastored and mentored countless athletes, soccer playersand race car drivers, and he still does. He has beenchaplain to the Christian players in the Brazilian footballteam through four World Cups and has seen his playersgrasp the joy of winning two of them (USA, 1994;Japan/Korea, 2002) as well as the comparative despair oflosing to France in the World Cup final in 1998.

The work continues. And so does Jesus Saves… f

Alex Ribeiro leads KekeRosberg and Eddie Cheever

at Nurburgring in 1978.



JESUS SAVES RACING

The time: February 2012The place: Oxford, England.

The event: The common British cold (or so-called man flu)

So, I’m sitting at my computer full of flu, my head isstuffed with chutney and my brains have turned to mush.I’m a ‘mature’ student training in theology and ministry;a someday would‐be pastor. I have a stack to do, essayscoming at me each week and exams to revise for.

But I can’t think straight and I find myself surfing thenet to look for Alex and Fernando’s original Jesus Savescars from the late ’70s. I’m calling people and leavingposts on web forums. I’m chasing chassis numbers. I’mbuilding each car’s history of ownership to trace its pathto a current owner.

As I search, I stop for a moment and find myselfasking, ‘Why have I turned into a ‘train spotter’ thatcollects chassis numbers and a motorsport anorak, toboot? This is not me.’ Yet somewhere in my chutneyhead I register that something is going on; this is notjust the Lemsip talking.

Eventually I locate both Alex’s old March F2 car andFernando’s Formula Ford, but now this doesn’t seem asimportant as contacting Jesus Saves’ founder andpioneer to seek out a growing idea.

My own path to retraining for Christian chaplaincy andministry had also passed through a stint of racing. For afew years I had lived the single‐seater ‘dream’ before lackof money blocked my pathway to the next level of speedand complexity (well, we always say it was the money,anyway!).

As I raced I always kept Alex’s idea of a Jesus Saves carwith me. For me, the logo also seemed like an extension ofall that I am and believe, yet I just couldn’t seem to seehow to use it as a self‐expression of my faith. Cars movefast and I was neither on TV nor in magazines, but maybethat was just a poor excuse because I was out there. My carwas well prepared and I was doing the best I could on thebudget I had. I could have done it, but I didn’t.

I looked out the window of my ivory tower at the streetso full of life, seeing so many people going about theirdaily tasks. I felt stifled, stuffed up and dead inside, butat the same time I was crying out to join the hustle andbustle of the outside world.

My fingers darted across the keyboard as I decided totrack Alex Ribeiro down and ask him if he had everconsidered restarting Jesus Saves; restarting as a teamthat would have the prime purpose of empoweringmotor racers with faith to share it with that fast‐movingworld outside my tower.

My rationale? I am a firm believer in sharedexperience. The view from the top of a mountain meansso much more when there is someone to experience itwith. Surely humanity was meant to share and not to bealone? A walk of faith is just the same. This is somethingfor me that, like Alex and Fernando, I have found soimportant and vital in the big questions of life. It has tooverflow to others. I just can’t get selfish about it.

A week or so passed and Alex replied saying that hehad forwarded my message to a number of originalmembers of the team and that he would feed back tome. A meeting followed months later on the Mondayafter the 2012 British Grand Prix, when Alex was in theUK. It was clear that everyone was intrigued butcautious. These guys had been in motorsport for theprevious 30 to 40 years and they knew a thing or two.

I looked around the room and saw Alex Ribeiro,Alastair MacQueen and Richard and Dorothy Owen.These folk knew of the struggle to make Jesus Saveshappen with limited funds and they were being wise;taking time to pause and discern before jumping in. Iwas the young upstart, the mad visionary, but I was notso alone.

Adriano Medeiros was also there. I knew Adriano was aChristian believer who was a pro driver in motor racing. Ialso knew that he put Jesus Saves on his car, helmet andoveralls whenever he could. I was keen to get his story.

It turned out that more than ten years earlier Adrianohad gone to a meeting at Brazil’s Interlagos circuit in hishome city of São Paulo. He went there to seek out AlexRibeiro and Emerson Fittipaldi and was keen to get theirpatronage for his driving career. Alex told Adriano thathe didn’t have any money for his career, but that hewould tell him about Jesus Saves.

WE WERE RETURNING TO THE TIME AND PLACE THAT FERNANDO HADRACED IN; THE PLACEWHERE THE ORIGINALTEAM HAD LEFT OFF.

It wasn’t exactly what Adriano was hoping for, or what hethought he needed, but looking back Adriano would saythat he received something money could never buy. Hecarried on attending the Interlagos meetings and, whilehe never saw Alex or Emerson there again, he diddiscover a lasting faith for himself.

By January 2013, Jesus Saves had a plan and a crew. Wewere pushing forward and we were going to compete ‘inperiod’. Historic races such as the Goodwood Revival andthe Silverstone Classic have become increasinglypopular, so it seemed apt to embrace the retro aspect ofJesus Saves’ past and race in Classic Formula Ford forpre‐1982 cars. We were returning to the time and placethat Fernando had raced in; the place where the originalteam had left off.

Again, as they say, the rest is history. We won thechampionship in our first year… just! With Adrianodriving, Richard Owen as chief engineer and Dan Fox asour trusty race mechanic, we got there. We had mirroredAlex’s own F2 journey in 1978, when the season startedwith limited funds. We just had to trust that the moneywould come from somewhere. Along the way we wereable to share the logo and message with folks at thetrack, with individuals who brought friends, on MotorsTV and in the national motorsport press.

The 2013 revival certainly featured twists along the way.For the team members, new and old, it was a fight tokeep going. Sponsors came and joined in, individualsgave and amazingly other Christian drivers joined theshow. By the end of the season, not only had Adriano



JESUS SAVES RACING

won the national Classic Formula Ford title, but othercars emblazoned with the logo were winning in differentcategories. Brazilian Felipe Guimarães finished fourth inhis first season of British Formula Three with two wins,while reigning 1100cc British Hillclimb champion GaryThomas had taken the British Sprint 1600cc classchampionship and Leandro Geudes had won theBrazilian Formula 1.6 Light championship.

What can I say at the end of a season like that? Well,what a vision Alex Ribeiro originally had. I’m so glad thatwe blew the dust off it and got it fired up once again.

People keep talking about the future of Jesus Saves.Well, we will be out there on the track as we go out andmeet people where they’re at. We will keep working withchurches, ministries and individuals. We want to be ableto have better hospitality to receive more guests. Wecertainly look forward to more wins and quickerformulae, but we would never want to take victory forgranted. As our engineer Richard Owen says: “Winningis really difficult, losing is really easy.”

However, what we want to do most of all is share theJesus Saves logo and message so that we can give othersthe opportunity to embrace its meaning for themselvesand to find its true worth. n

An Interview withAlex Ribeiro

JASON COURAGE ASKS THE QUESTIONS…

Which Formula 1 team did you most want to drive forand why?Ferrari, because of the history of the Commendatore Enzo andhis passion for motor racing and to produce racing cars.

What was the March F1 like to drive?The 761 in 1977 with the 1977 tyres was the worst car I everdrove.

What was Max Mosley like as a team boss?He didn’t have a clue about the technical side of the job andhow to deal with his drivers.

What was the Hesketh like to drive?It was a very predictable and easy car to drive, but it wasalready out of date when I drove it.

How was Bubbles Horsley as a team boss?Great fun and a trustworthy guy to work with.

What was the principal reason for the lack of pointsscored during your Formula 1 career?Lack of a competitive car.

Why did you not look in your wing mirror beforeopening the car door at the Brazilian Grand Prix in2002?Because I was already parked at the left side edge of the track,and I didn’t expected Nick Heidfeld on the grass at full speedunder a red flag sign.

What car did you enjoy driving most outside Formula 1and why?

The Fittipaldi Cosworth F5, because it was a very predictablecar despite not having ground effect due to the fact that it wasa few years old when I drove it in Imola 1979.

The best racing car I ever enjoyed driving was the Jesus SavesMarch 782 Hart, because it had superb handling and was fast!But above all, because of the Jesus Saves message that itcarried across the European circuits and around the worldthrough the media.

Which track did you like the most?The old Nürburgring in Germany, where I won the race of mylife [1978 in JSR March 782].

What advice can you give you aspiring F1 driversnowadays?

If you have a talent to play football, go for it! It is much easierand more profitable.

No, seriously, start with karting at the age of 11. If you haven’tbecome a winner by 15, try another sport. If you are wining andsure that you have the talent, then be prepared for a fullcommitment, focus, perseverance, hard work, determination,a lot of faith and a good sponsor to support your escalation tothe top.



BUSINESS

We’re in BusinessCHARLES HUMPHREYS

How did you get on with yourNew Year’s resolutions? Irarely make them, becausewhen the realities of lifekick in my good intentionsare often kicked straight

out! However, there are some things in life thatyou just can’t quit. You have no choice but tocarry on. Winston Churchill said: “If you’regoing through hell, keep going”, and thiscomment had deep significance for a war‐ravaged Great Britain.

There have been several occasions in my life

Charles is an experienced careers coach and founder ofChristian‐based careers coaching service Want2get on?(www.want2geton.co.uk), which offers one‐on‐one careerscounselling, workshops and seminars. He wrote The ChristianGuide to Jobs and Careers (www.hope4acareer.com), is a busydad of three young boys and husband to an overworkeddoctor. He also leads the men’s ministry at Oasis Church in Colliers Wood.

coach, I seriously questioned my ability tocarry on!

Jesus told a number of parables that involvedthe master going away and leaving his servantbehind in charge of his affairs. Is that whereyou find yourself today? Do you feel that Godhas given you a set of instructions to followand has then disappeared? When I lost myjob, I remember thinking that it wasn’t part ofthe agreement I had with God. To put itmildly, I felt abandoned.

Psalm 35:17 says: “O Lord, how long will youlook on?”

And that’s the problem. When we go throughdifficulties, we can feel that God has let usdown and, even worse, that He’s up therelooking on and not doing anything useful tohelp out. I know that it’s not just me whosometimes feels like this. I’m in goodcompany, because it was David himself whowrote the words of this psalm.

The truth is that, despite your difficulties,God loves you and has a definite plan for yourlife. It involves you developing qualities thatyou may not view as a priority at this presentmoment: good character, faith, trust andperseverance. God’s ‘departure’ from yourchallenging issue is by design and is necessaryfor you to develop.

So, what can you do to persevere until God isready to bring about a change in yourcircumstances? In verse 28 of the same psalm,David managed to keep going by speaking outpositive words about God and His promises.This goes way beyond having a positivemindset. If this was all we required, why wouldwe need God to intervene? We could just‘positive think’ our way out!

WHEN WE GO THROUGHDIFFICULTIES, WE CANFEEL THAT GOD HASLET US DOWN.

One of the effects of our being made in God’simage is that the words we speak have thepotential to release life. David spoke out truthsabout God: about His ability to turn situationsaround and provide for us. The Bible is full ofexamples. Now, this is the really interesting bit.God is watching and listening for His word tobe spoken (Jeremiah 1:12) and, when He hearsit spoken in faith, the Bible tells us that Hebegins to put it into action. Our words canrelease God’s promises (for a job and manyother things) into our lives.

David had his back against the wall, but itdidn’t end there for him, and neither does it foryou. David encouraged himself by recallingGod’s promises. When He eventually broughtabout the release, David was still hanging onand, importantly, was in position to receive whatGod released. Will you still be hanging on? n

when I have felt like an athlete who, expectingto hear the bell for the final lap, is waved on todo an additional one, and then some.Unemployment or being stuck in the wrongjob can feel just like that. Your energy reservesand perseverance drop with every stride.

When faced with a situation that appears tohave no end, how is it possible for us not onlyto carry on, but to do so with energy and theexpectation that things will eventuallychange? It’s the million‐dollar question, isn’tit? When I ended up signing on at the JobCentre where I had previously worked as a

Still Hanging On?



BUSINESS

Making Your MarkSTUART RIVERS

Bottled water company Belu donates 100%of its profits to WaterAid to fund clean waterprojects. It is 100% carbon neutral and is doinggood business by supplying a long list ofbusinesses, hotels, bars and restaurants.

Salesforce.com, a leading software‐as‐a‐service (SaaS) company, has a CSRcommitment that is easy to measure anddifficult to question. Its policy is to give 1% ofits profit (in the form of products), 1% of itsemployees’ time, and 1% of its equity tocharities and other non‐profit organisations.

I work with many companies in the shippingindustry that operate similar CSR models toSalesforce.com, committing a proportion ofprofits to ‘doing good’ within their supplychains or within the communities in whichthey operate, or looking for volunteeringopportunities for their staff.

There is a positive attitude when it comes toworking with non‐profits to create asustainable business that gives somethingback to society. And there appears to be a keenand growing appetite for social andenvironmental projects that enable companiesin the shipping industry to meet CSRobjectives in an authentic way.

COMPANIES OF ALLSHAPES AND SIZESWANT TO BE SEEN ASINTRINSICALLY GOOD

The point is that good business can also begood for society. In fact, if a business is bad forsociety, then human instinct tells me that it isnot good business at all. And it’s thosecompanies – the ones that have little or noregard for people and the environment andevery regard for profit – that attract attentionfrom campaigners. There are endless examplestoday.

Companies cannot work independently ofthe society in which they operate, becausesociety forms part of the supply and thedemand chain. This means that society – orthe crowd – has a vested interest in anybusiness it interacts with and, even morecrucially, can impact the successes and failuresof that business.

In this socially connected age, the crowd iseven more important. Admittedly, it alwayshas been important, but now the crowd has acorporate voice that is louder than it has ever

been. What’s more, the crowd wants tointeract with businesses, both in supportinginnovation and new ideas through crowdfunding and through campaigning against badbusiness practice.

Social media, crowd sourcing/funding,instant media coverage and the crowd’s refusalto accept collateral damage to human rightsand the environment prove that companiesneed to consider how to integrate socialresponsibility into their business models inorder to thrive.

This may have been a subject of discussionfor many decades within the business world,but in competitive markets wheredifferentiation is vital, CSR could be the way tosustainable growth and customer loyaltyalongside innovation and value creation.

At the end of the day, the heart of success forany business is the opportunity to meetunique customer needs: the value proposition.And the most strategic of CSR propositionsoccur when customer and social need is met aspart of the same process. It’s an approach thatcan attract new and loyal customers, generatepositive PR and produce answers to complexsocial and environmental issues. This really isgood business! n

Most businesses wouldclaim that profitabilityand shareholder valueare essentialfoundations of goodbusiness. But where

does social responsibility and sustainability fitinto the high‐performing business model?

Many firms subscribe to the (inconclusive)school of thought that corporate socialresponsibility (CSR) works against goodbusiness because it diverts profit away fromprojects that deliver business growth. However,research conducted over the past decadeproposes that “CSR can be more than just a cost,constraint or charitable deed” (Harvard BusinessReview: Strategy and Society, 2007).

I don’t know about you, but I am increasinglyfinding that companies of all shapes and sizeswant to be seen as intrinsically good. Thepublic expects this today, even though manycompanies fall short of good practice in theirvalue chains. If you watch television ads, you’llfind plenty of examples of those whodesperately want to appear to be good (see ifyou can spot them). But what does it mean tobe intrinsically good? And can it be done at astrategic level in a way that makes goodbusiness sense?

Companies who approach CSR strategicallyhave the potential to innovate, create newopportunities and solve longstanding social orenvironmental problems in the process. Oneexample is Toyota, which responded to publicconcern about emissions and spurned othermanufacturers to invest in low‐emissionhybrid motoring. Toyota now licenses thetechnology to other carmakers, making it theworld leader in this technology.

The Crowd is Louderthan Ever!

An entrepreneur with a background in marketing andbusiness development, Stuart was recently appointed chiefexecutive of Sailors’ Society, a Christian charity serving theneeds of merchant seafarers. He previously spent 15 years atEricsson, progressing to the role of commercial director inSweden, before being appointed executive director of BibleSociety in 2009. Stuart is a former Salvation Army officerwhose parents are commissioners; his great uncle was privatesecretary to General William Booth. He is married to Careyand has six children and two grandchildren.


BUSINESS

RelationologyMATT BIRD

doors of opportunity, support yourpromotion, introduce you to key people,advance your personal development and referyour services. Mentors are sponsors.

Reason 4: mentors makeyou self-awareOne of the first businesses I ever started hada profound, meaningful and (so I thought)memorable name. The problem was that noone could pronounce or spell the name,which meant it was extremely difficult togoogle, challenging to write in an email andimpossible to take a telephone message easily.It still makes me chuckle now, although itwasn’t funny at the time. The namewas Autopoiesis (I had to check how to spellit in the dictionary as I wrote it then!), ‘auto’meaning ‘self ’ and ‘poiesis’ meaning‘becoming’ or ‘creating’, so together it means‘self‐becoming’.

Mentors make you more self‐aware on thejourney as you become the best possibleversion of yourself. A mentor can hold up amirror that will help you see yourself moreaccurately. Sometimes you can kid yourselfabout who you really are and the impact youhave on others. Mentors can help you becomemore self‐aware and assist you on the journeyof self‐appreciation and self‐becoming.

Reason 5: mentors areyour role modelsThe law of unconscious assimilation statesthat: “We become like the people we spendmost frequent and meaningful time with.”This is true, whether for good or for bad.

Human beings are porous. We learn mostthrough the process of osmosis andabsorption. We acquire the traits andcharacteristics of the people we spend themost time with. Mentors span time and space.They can be historical or contemporaryfigures, unknown public figures or personalfriends. Whether close or distant, a menteesomehow gets inside the heart and head of the mentor.

Mentors have the greatest impact on theirmentee through their role modelling andexample. So choose mentors you want tobecome like and spend frequent andmeaningful time with them.

Who are the people that you aspire tobecome like and how are you going to spendmore time with them this year? n

Reason 2: mentors believe in youUltimately, a mentor is someone who believesin you more than you believe in yourself. Thisbelief encourages you to have the confidence todo things that you might not otherwise do. Amentor who believes in you in this way mightbe a member of your family, a friend or acolleague at work.

As Henry Ford said: “Whether you think youcan or whether you think you can’t, you areprobably right.” The power of the belief others have in you – and consequently thebelief you have in yourself – transforms yourprospects, circumstances and achievements.You cannot afford to be without a mentor whobelieves in you.

Reason 3: mentorssponsor youThe Chelsea Flower Show, the Queen’s ClubChampionships (tennis), The X Factor, theLondon Marathon and Boris Bikes sharesomething in common… they all have asponsor. A sponsor whose name and associatedresources enable the event, competition orproject to happen when it could not take placewithout them.

Just as events, competitions and projectsneed sponsors, so people need sponsors toenable them to do what they might nototherwise be able to do. Mentors can open

Homer’s The Odyssey tells thestory of Odysseus: a kingwho goes to war notknowing whether he willreturn. He was concernedfor the future of his son

Telemachus, so he decided to entrust hisnurture and development to a friend andtrusted adviser, Mentor.

While the origins of the mentor concept areancient, the need we all have for a mentor ormentors is timeless. There are five reasons whyI believe you need a mentor.

Reason 1: mentors guide youMentoring is generally a relationship with long‐term intent; sometimes lifelong. It tends tofocus on the mentor imparting wisdom, insightand guidance to the mentee. By contrast,coaching has more modern origins, which arefocused on a specific assignment and outcomeover a defined period of time. It is largely non‐directive and is about helping the coachee findthe resources from within themselves to meettheir challenges and opportunities.

You make constant decisions about the wayyou should go. Being without a mentor canleave you at sea without any navigator chartsand instruments. The value of having a mentoris that there is someone who can guide you inthose daily decisions, especially the big ones.

Why You Needa Mentor

Matt Bird helps leaders and organisations build therelationships they need to achieve greater success. He is akeynote speaker, trainer and coach. To read his weeklyrelationship insights, visit www.relationology.co.uk.



BUSINESS

Bolder & BoulderMARTIN CARTER

Too Good to be True?

were buying genuine Banksy pieces. Otherwise,they would have bought up the whole store,right? They just liked the pieces enough to pay£38 for them.

Nonetheless, whether by good luck or goodjudgement, there’s a bloke in Chicago sitting on£80,000 worth of Banksy, which he picked upfor just £152. I hope I’m not the only bloke whosefirst thought on hearing this story is that hewould be a nightmare drinking buddy. Can youimagine trying to top that little anecdote?!

Which got me thinking. During Lent wereflect on the life of a man who willinglysubmitted himself to a barbaric death andthen rose again to offer us freedom from sinand death, and freedom to be the people Godmade us to be. All for free. It costs us nothing,yet offers everything. Surely that trumpsbargain graffiti art?

Which leads to an uncomfortable question: ifit does, why don’t I share my good news storymore often? You can bet that the guy fromChicago is still dining out on his.

STELLA’S CAMPAIGNPLAYED TO OURINBUILT BELIEF THATQUALITY DOESN’TCOME CHEAP.

I’ve got loads of mates, family members andcolleagues who need to hear it from me. Wecan’t leave it to others, because Jesus’ offer isn’treassuringly expensive. It’s disturbingly cheapand we only buy cheap if someone we trustreassures us that it’s the real deal.

Banksy’s stall was a one‐off, while Jesus setshis stall out for each and every one of us everysingle day. Are you going to let your mates walkpast the most incredible, life‐changing offerwithout giving it a second glance? n

Martin Carter has a wife, three children and a desire tobecome more like the bloke God made him to be. He startseach day vowing to be bolder in his faith and the rest of ittripping up on all the boulders that get in the way. Writingabout it helps him remember where he buried them (theboulders, not the family!). You can contact him [email protected].

Back in October, controversialstreet artist Banksycompleted a month‐longresidency in New York.Alongside his trademark,stencilled graffiti art, he filled

a slaughterhouse truck with stuffed animals,had a boy in rags polish Ronald McDonald’sshoes and converted a delivery truck into amobile garden, complete with waterfall.

His most fascinating installation, however,was his anonymous stall in Central Park,where he sold signed copies of his mostfamous works, which are apparently worthabout £20,000 each, for just £38.

With his other stunts making headline news,these trademark pieces sold out in minutes,right? Not quite. The stallholder sold just eight

canvases the whole day; four of them to a blokefrom Chicago. So why did thousands of peoplepass up the opportunity to buy a piece offamous art for a fraction of its value?

Not for the first time in my life, I think beermight hold the answer. Specifically Stella Artoisand its ‘Reassuringly Expensive’ advertisingslogan on this occasion. Stella’s campaign playedto our inbuilt belief that quality doesn’t comecheap and Banksy’s stall showed how this deep‐seated belief affects our judgement.

Many of the passersby would have recognisedthe images as iconic Banksy, but at £38 theywere simply not reassuringly expensive enoughfor them to believe that they could be the realthing, so onlookers dismissed them as fake andwalked on by. Even the three people who didstop and buy didn’t, it seems, believe that they



BUSINESS

Collective ActionMARTIN THOMAS

Networking: More Than aBunch of Blokes in a Bar?

When someone mentionsthe word ‘networking’,what immediatelysprings to mind?Corridor conversations,conferences with coffee

on tap, or managers off on ‘another jolly’ whileeveryone else gets on with the ‘real work’?

The word increasingly seems to divideopinion; with some almost evangelistic in theirzeal to share the value of networking andothers jaded from the endless jaw‐jaw andperceived lack of real outcomes. Perhapsunsurprisingly, it is often men who end up inthe first group; only too happy to find anotherpretext to travel, to listen to their own voices inthe conference hall and again at the bar.

Viva – together for children Unit 8, The Gallery, 54 Marston Street, Oxford, OX4 1LF, UK

Registered Charity No. 1053389Registered in England No. 3162776

The organisation I work for was founded on adifferent premise: that by working together weachieve far more than we ever could on ourown. In Viva’s case, this means ‘lasting changefor children’, demonstrated in the way ourpartner network in the Philippines respondedto Typhoon Haiyan.

The collective response of churches andorganisations based across the affected areawas only realised through a network platformthat has taken years of nurturing to build. Theresult? An immediate, well‐coordinated andpowerful local response that has the capacityto continue for years to come.

What I like about networking is that it’s averb, and verbs – as we were all taught atschool – are ‘doing words’. What I don’t like is

when the ‘ing’ bit becomes an end in itself,never creating the context for it to grow up tobecome a noun: in this case a network.Because networks can be inspiring when theyfocus on collective action, like in thePhilippines, and may even have the power tochange lives.

Reflecting on 20 years of networking, mainlywithin the voluntary sector, here are my threequick tips to help you make better use of yourown opportunities:

n Be strategic in how, with whom and whereyou spend your time

n Be intentional in your focus on the desiredoutcomes

n Be relational in your approach, balancingthe formal with the informal

And next time you’re tempted to say, “I’m offnetworking”, why not stop and think firstabout what you are really hoping to achieveand communicate that instead? n

Martin Thomas heads up Viva’s mobilisation offices in theUK, North America and Hong Kong (www.viva.org/invest).He is a writer, a trustee of The Bless Network and a novicebarista. He and his family live in Witney, Oxfordshire.



uncan William

s, Tel: 07960 829615



ADVICE

SMART TALKWith Dr Richard Scott, Jojo Meadows and Richard Taylor

Sponsored by Christian Single MixOUREXPERTS

Richard Scott has workedas a surgeon, GP and

evangelist in England, Indiaand parts of Africa. His wife

Heather is also a doctorand the couple have three

daughters. Sport is apassion for Richard,

interspersed more recentlywith writing, which

developed during treatmentfor bowel cancer.

Jojo Meadows ispassionate about spreading

God’s word in an originalway. She trained as a

counsellor and helped torun a crisis centre in Solihullbefore being headhuntedby Connexions to developcourses for senior schools.

Jojo has been throughmany life-changing

experiences includinganorexia, teenage

pregnancy, rape andcervical cancer. This

motivated her to help otherswho are struggling through

difficult circumstances.

Founding pastor of VictoryChurch in Cwmbran,

Richard Taylor is a churchleader and author. For

many years, Richard hasbeen impacting lives with

his down-to-earth humour,passion and genuine lovefor God and people. Alongwith his wife Jill and their

four sons, Richard foundedthe church in January 2010and it has since grown into

a vibrant congregation.

Going It Alone

After five years of beingtogether, my wife has left meand our two very youngchildren. I am finding it veryhard to cope with day-to-day lifeand find myself snapping at thekids. The worst thing for me isthat I’m completely on my own.

There are so many otherpeople in your situation, so I

don’t want you to feel completelyalone. It’s very hard being a singleparent, but there is hope. Manyorganisations and charities(including www.gingerbread.org.uk,www.lone‐parents.org.uk and

the street! My church is full of splitfamilies. That doesn’t make itperfect, but a good church willprovide friends who can becomeyour new family.

Loneliness hurts; we werenever created to be alone.

Friends and other close relatives areimportant at a time like this.Remember that your kids areprobably hurting too. Sometimesfocusing on the needs of others, inyour case the children, can help incoping with day‐to‐day life. It’s notgoing to be easy, but make a choiceto be an amazing dad. You can findgreat fulfilment in doing so.

RT

I feel guilty all the time, evenwhen people are trying to benice to me. This frustratespeople, which makes me feelmore guilty. This has gone onfor about six months now andis getting worse. Is thisnormal for a teenager, andhow can I feel less guilty?

Guilt is an emotionalexperience associated with

feeling responsible for some kindof wrongdoing. It sounds like youhave a guilt complex. Try listing allof the positive and negative

JM

www.dadshouse.co.uk) supportsingle parents. I think the firstport of call is to talk to closerelatives. Be transparent withthem and allow them to rallyaround and support you.

Presuming the split isirrevocable, all seems lost,

but it isn’t. You can’t (andshouldn’t attempt to) cope alone,but there are two things in yourfavour. First, you still have friendsand family. Open up to them, askfor help (even babysitting) and dostuff with them. Secondly, youneed a new family. And I don’tmean grab the nearest chick off

JM

RS



ADVICE

thoughts you have about yourself.Then do a reality check on thenegative thoughts by asking are theytrue? or how true are they? I wouldsuggest cognitive behaviouraltherapy (CBT) to help overcomethese thought patterns.

Guilt is a symptom of poorself‐esteem. In feeling

worthless for troubling others, yourwhole existence sounds miserable.As a Christian, I’m aware that we areall opposed by the evil one, whospecialises in making us feel rubbishabout ourselves. That realisation iscrucial in pointing us to his polar

RS

opposite, God, who instead majorson joy, peace and the confidenceyou lack. Our designer, our creatorloves us unconditionally, nomatter how feeble we feel. Valuedby the one who really matters, wecan learn to love ourselves again.

Guilt is a common experienceto all of us. There’s no guilt in

having it, but it’s how you deal withit that matters. It may be worthwriting down what it is you feelguilty about and then seekingforgiveness, either from others oryourself.

RT

What should I say to mygirlfriend if I want us to getout more and she won’t? We’vebeen together two years andonly really go out and have funonce every six months. Howcan I get her out of the houseto have a good night out?

Why don’t you offer to takeher out for a pampering day?

Whether she is self‐conscious, feelsvulnerable or simply can’t bebothered, any woman will beenticed by a pamper day! And shewill want to show off her newglamorous self, meaning that a dayout can naturally turn into a nightout. Bribery all the way!

Tricky one! It sounds likeshe’s a home‐loving introvert

who may lack confidence. Onepositive is that she’s clearly verysecure in your company, albeit atthe expense of a wider social life. Ithink you need to put your agendaon hold and focus on hers instead.It may seem dull catching up withher old friends or a brief night out

CONTACT US:

Got a problem and need an answer?

Email: [email protected]

or write to: Smart Talk,

Sorted Magazine, PO Box 3070,

Littlehampton, West Sussex BN17 6WX

when you’d like to spend longer, butas she gains confidence during non‐threatening activities, hopefully youcan move towards a more equalfooting concerning nights out in thefuture.

Relationships are aboutdiscovery. Find out what she

likes, then book it, hand her thetickets and tell you’re both going.She may enjoy herself and realise sheneeds to get out more. Then all youneed to do is watch your wallet!

JM

RS

RT



ADVICE

Big QuestionsJONATHAN SHERWIN

WireIm

age

Not so long ago, it was popularto believe that the universehad simply always existed.Carl Sagan famously statedthat: “The cosmos is all that is,or ever was, or ever will be.”

But then along came a chap by the name ofGeorges Lemaître who was working on ideasfrom one Albert Einstein. He said that itactually looks as though the scientificevidence points towards a starting point. Wenow commonly refer to this point in history asthe Big Bang.

Science, and our experience, points to thefact that the universe began to exist. And thisis quite interesting, because if we take thingsfurther it points beyond this to the existenceof God. When all of this is put together, this isknown as the Kalam cosmological argument.

Whatever begins to existhas a causeThink of something, anything at all. Now thinkabout how that ‘thing’ got there. In your mind,or in reality, we instinctively know that thingsdo not just pop into existence out of nothing.

My credit card bill is proof of this. It didn’tjust appear out of nowhere, it is the result of acause (rightly or wrongly, but that’s a differentargument). Likewise, the means to pay my billwon’t just spontaneously appear out of thin air,no matter how hard I wish it. Things thatbegin to exist have a cause.

The universe has a beginningCue Einstein and friends with their scientificresearch. Science, as the exploration of whatis, is of great help to us on this point.Established scientific theories today, such asthe redshifts found by Hubble (the man, notthe telescope), point towards a beginning forthe universe. This is very much in agreement,not opposition, with faith.

Additionally, we can take this second pointto be true by employing a bit of logic. If theuniverse has always existed and did not have abeginning, then the history of the universewould be infinite. That sounds good, but asnone of us possess the talents of BuzzLightyear, it is impossible for us to traverse anactual infinite.

Let me try to explain. Chris Evans, of currentBBC Radio 2 fame, is known for his largecollection of Ferraris, all of which are paintedthat classic Ferrari colour: white.

Imagine that one morning Chris wakes upand finds that his collection has expanded andthat he now possesses an infinite number ofFerraris (for some of us, believing we couldown just one Ferrari is the same as believingwe could own an infinite number of thesebeautiful machines!).

THE SCIENTIFICEVIDENCE POINTSTOWARDS A STARTING POINT.

Chris is happy, and as he muses over thisincrease in his collection he decides to breakhis own rules and paint every other car in hisinfinitely long garage, oh, I don’t know, red.Chris now has one red Ferrari sitting next to awhite Ferrari and so on and so forth.

At some point (in the not‐too‐distant future,perhaps), the BBC is faced with budget cuts.Chris has to take a pay cut and decides to sellhalf of his beloved collection. So Chris sells allof his red Ferraris and is left with just thewhite ones.

But how many cars is Chris left with? He hadan infinite number of cars and removed half ofthem. What is half of infinity? It’s not anumber, like six, because that could be doubledto produce another number, which would notbe infinite. Chris still has an infinite number ofwhite cars. So what exactly did Chris lose?

The reality is, infinite series of things justdon’t exist. In this way, the universe cannotlogically have existed forever and had aninfinite series of past events leading to thepresent moment.

The universe therefore has a causeWe have shown that the universe has to havehad a beginning, and that all things that have abeginning have a cause. Let’s think about thenature of this cause.

The cause of the existence of the universemust have been very powerful to create theuniverse from nothing and outside of time(the cause also created time), as well asexisting infinitely.

What’s more, as well as having amazingattributes, this first cause must also be in someway personal, because it chose to create theuniverse. An eternal, extremely powerful thingdoesn’t have to do anything. Nothing cancompel something that large to do anything,in much the same say that I can’t force rugbylegend Martin Johnson to smile, or to doanything for that matter, unless he wants to doit himself.

Let there be lightThe Kalam cosmological argument doesn’treveal a specific deity or point to only onereligion, but what it does do is turn on a light.One can add – and we will this year – furtherarguments to this one, building a cumulativecase for the existence of God outside ofscripture and historical record. As these lightsturn on, take a look and see what they reveal.Perhaps they will lend themselves as startingpoints on a journey.

Perhaps you will discover that there are goodsigns within this universe that point to theexistence of the divine outside of space andtime; an incredibly large, complex and powerfulbeing commonly referred to as ‘God’. n

Jonathan lives in Oxford where he runs Latimers, a place forpeople to challenge and investigate the Christian faith. Hegraduated from the Oxford Centre for Christian Apologeticsand now works as an itinerant evangelist, which involvesco‐leading CVM’s Demolition Squad. Join the conversationonline at www.jonathansherwin.net.

On Chris Evans’Ferrari Collectionand the Existenceof the Universe



OPINION

MoneyJON COBB

I’ve met actuaries who chose theirprofession because they believedaccountancy was too glamorous!Then again, I’ve met accountants whouse their personalities as a form ofbirth control! Thank goodness for the

charm and wit of financial advisers.I have a lot of sympathy with accountants at

this time of year as the tax year ends on April5, so they are pretty busy. It’s the start of awhole load of tax returns and theimplementation of all the budget changes andnew allowances. My accountant gets anenvelope stuffed full of receipts, bankstatements and anything else that eitherdeclares an income or that I think is anallowable expense.

Let’s be honest, no one likes paying tax, andas I’ve said in previous articles, there’s adifference between dishonestly evading payingtax and structuring your finances in an orderly,tax‐efficient manner, taking advantage of theallowances HMRC gives us.

So here are a couple of pointers you mightlike to consider.

million workers who have saved nothing!Consecutive governments have meddled withpensions in the vain hope of making themsexy. They’re not, but they are necessary.

It will only be a matter of time before thegovernment makes it compulsory foremployees to contribute to a pension but, inthe meantime, the latest legislation that couldaffect you as an employee is called auto‐enrolment. If you’re eligible, it is youremployer’s legal responsibility to enrol youinto a scheme and contribute to it. This will bephased in over the next six years and isstarting with the largest companies, so it’sworth asking your boss as it is in your intereststo know about such things.

CONSECUTIVEGOVERNMENTS HAVEMEDDLED WITHPENSIONS IN THE VAIN HOPE OF MAKING THEM SEXY. THEY’RE NOT.

We shouldn’t have to rely on the government toprovide a pension or to enforce legislation thatmakes us act. Whoever we are, it’s worthlooking at our expenditure at the start of thenew tax year and trying to budget for a monthlycontribution into a simple, cheap pension.

Remember, if you make a pension payment,you get tax relief on top, so a £40 monthlycontribution actually means £50 each month!It’s never too early to start, and you’ll begrateful that you did when you retire with asecure income and the opportunity to reallystart living!

ISAs and pensions are great ways to save, andeach offers different tax incentives, but if youare in a position to start putting somethingaside for the long term I would encourage youto do so through one of these vehicles. n

Firstly, even though interest rates on cashsavings are pretty pathetic, it is worth holdingas much of your savings as possible in a cashISA. In 2013‐14 you can place up to £5,940 intoone. If you get 1.5% interest and you are a basicrate taxpayer, the annual tax you are savingwill only be £17.82, which wouldn’t even covera takeaway! However, we have to rememberthat current interest rates are unusually low atthe moment and are normally much higher.Therefore, as your savings build up andinterest rates start to rise, your tax savings willbecome more substantial.

The £2.95 weekly rise in state pension maynot affect too many readers, but the wholeissue of retirement seems to be getting pushedfurther away. If you are in your thirties, youwon’t get this benefit until you’re 69. It really isbecoming the ‘old age pension’.

Governments know there will be a problemfurther down the line, as the days of receivinga carriage clock and a healthy companypension when you retire are a pipedream forlarge swathes of the working population. Infact, the government believes there are seven

Not So Taxing

Jon Cobb runs financial advisory business Trinity WealthManagement. He is a keen runner, ex‐white‐collar boxer,passionate Portsmouth supporter, speaker and writer.Check out Jon’s blog:cobbiescollectivecontemplations.blogspot.co.uk and follow him on Twitter: @CobbyJon.



OPINION

FamilyRICHARD HARDY

established her place in the pecking order byplaying endless supremacy games. “Let’s playschools. I’ll be the teacher, you can be thenaughty little boy,” she would say.

Life eventually settled into a routine. Asparents our roles regularly switched, onetaking the lead first and then the other. Thechildren quickly became third and fourth orfirst and second, depending on whether we asparents were included in the tally or not.

Then, aged 19, Joanna met ‘the one’ and aseismic shift in the pecking order began totake place. If I’m honest, I hadn’t reallynoticed there was much other stuff going on atthe time, what with Joanna leaving home andDavid doing A‐levels. In any case, theestablished hierarchy had been in place solong, who could possibly challenge it?

Until David said: “So how does it feel to havedropped down the pecking order, then?”

Puzzled, I asked him to explain. “Well, now ‘the one’ has arrived we’ve all

been demoted in Joanna’s affections. It used tobe you, me and granddad. Now it’s Simon, you,me and granddad!” (Where his mother fitted

into this assessment I’m not quite sure, andfrankly at present neither is she.)

I joked, mainly to cover my shock at thetruth of his words, and said: “Listen, mate. Itwas never you, me and granddad. It wasalways me, granddad and you. You’ve alwaysbeen at the bottom of the pile.” He didn’t lookhappy and, to be honest, neither was I. Whowas this ‘one’ to usurp my place in mydaughter’s affections?

Of course, as I have thought about thisfurther I have realised that no one ever takesthe place of another in a person’s heart. It’sjust that we all have an infinite, God‐givencapacity to love. We simply make more roomfor another. That’s what Joanna has done.Now in our hearts we are all making room forSimon. It’s not that he has stolen our place inher affections; it is that we are all beingchallenged to increase our capacity to love.

That, however, is not all that is occurring.Simon is becoming part of our family, butJoanna is also being embraced by his. And atthe same time they are becoming their ownfamily unit.

By the time you read this I will, as thetraditional marriage service says, have “given”my daughter away. Not that this is a popularconcept these days, because in the modernmind it sounds too much like ownership. Ofcourse, I have never “owned” my daughter.She has always only ever been “on loan”.

WITH THE ARRIVAL OFOUR FIRSTBORN, THEPECKING ORDERCHANGED… IN THEDOG’S MIND AT LEAST.

As she and Simon marry, she is choosing todetach herself in some measure from us andattach herself to him, and together they willstart the process all over again. I would love totell you that all I feel is joy for them. I do feeljoy, but it is mixed with just a tinge ofsadness. I feel the mix of emotions that Iguess all fathers feel, but that no man willever talk about.

I feel I am losing a daughter, a place, aposition, a role, and that nothing will ever bethe same again. For a while, things in theHardy household will be a little disturbedand different, until the new order establishesitself that is.

I also feel that I am gaining a son‐in‐law. AsI grow to know him, I have to say that fromwhat I see there is much to be admired.(Good choice, Joanna!) He is a fine youngman: principled, caring and self‐aware, with adeep desire to do the right thing.

Welcome to our family, Simon, but knowthis. You are not taking my place, either inthis family or my daughter’s affections. I amchoosing to give it, not her, away. n

Richard Hardy is a Baptist minister and director of theEntheos Trust, which encourages leaders and enableschurches to engage with their communities. Richard hasspoken on community engagement, marriage and parentingat many national conferences. He has also written extensivelyon community and family issues (www.theentheostrust.org).

There’s a pecking order in everyfamily. It’s quitestraightforward when you firstget together as a couple andit’s just the two of you. AnAfrican friend once said to

me, the man is the head and the woman is theneck. I prefer to think of it as a partnership ofcoequals. (My wife told me I could say that!)All decisions and responsibilities are sharedand no‐one really needs to take the lead.

Then children appear! Prior to embarking(pun intended) on the pleasure and pain ofparenting, we got a dog. The family hierarchywas straightforward as we all knew our place inthe pack: people then pet.

With the arrival of our firstborn, the peckingorder changed… in the dog’s mind at least.Now it was master, mistress, interloper anddog! The dog was more than a little put out andit took a while for the new order to bed in.

Then David arrived and a new negotiation hadto be made as Joanna and the dog establishedwhere the latest new addition fitted in. The dogjust skulked and sulked, while Joanna

What’s YourPlace in thePecking Order?



OPINION

FaithSAM GIBB

So, come Monday morning when the alarmgoes off, remember that God is far from beinga distant, disconnected and indifferent guy inthe sky. He is no recluse. God is community,God is connected, God is love.

I’m not talking about the flowery love ofarrow‐shooting cherubs and cards with loopyfonts. God is love because the most perfect,loving community exists in his very nature. Atrip to the pub may help us understand thismore practically, but a grasp of the Word ofGod will open this doctrine up in ways wecould never imagine. The answer, then, isprobably a Bible in one hand and a pint in theother. A good bitter theology. n

the biblical equivalent of your gran’s Sudoku.The trinity is three fellas: the Father, the Sonand the Spirit.

And it is this trinitarian God who seteverything in motion and holds all thingstogether. John 1:1 and Genesis 1:1 place all threepersons in the world‐building team. Jesusdidn’t turn up following Mary and Joe’spregnancy planning; he was there on daynaught in the creation committee. And thetrinity didn’t end there. The immense plan torescue the world at Golgotha was constructed,initiated and completed by the same threefellas of the trinity.

So, what do Venn diagrams, water and threemen in a pub have in common? All three havebeen used to describe the trinity, but the thirdis probably the most helpful. Not because itexplains how three are one, but because itgives us an understanding of why. If we spendforever trying to work out the trinity we willcompletely miss the opportunity to live outthe trinity.

Mention the word ‘trinity’to any of us fellas andyou will get the sameresponse my schoolteacher did while tryingto teach me algebra. We

either switch off completely and start thinkingabout the football, recognising that we have asmuch chance of getting our head around thatas we do of understanding women’s dresssizes, or we start doing crazy calculations,attempting to work out exactly how somethingcan be three things while remaining one thing.

Let’s be honest, most of the time it’s hardenough to stay awake in sermons withoutsomeone bringing up technicalities like thetrinity. Plus, what good is understanding God’striune nature going to be when I’m sat in theoffice on Monday morning?

But perhaps this is where we are wrong. True,I personally think algebra lessons were a wasteof good daylight hours, yet the trinity seems tohave unimaginable importance. You see, if webegin to understand the trinity we begin to getGod. And if we begin to understand thisincredible God, we will want to live lives thatare radically different because of Him. Andwhen we do that, everything changes.

I was sitting in the pub with a couple ofmates when it clicked: this right here was abetter representation of the trinity than anyVenn diagram (those three interlinking circlesyou see in science textbooks). You see, thistrinitarian God is three persons who are one,not just three circles that are linked.

IF WE BEGIN TOUNDERSTAND THE TRINITY WE BEGIN TO GET GOD.

Right there in the pub, as we laughed andbantered, it was almost impossible to separateus from our unbreakable bromance; at thatpoint we three were like one. But at the sametime as being one, we were also three distinctpersons: one doctor, one engineer and onepreacher. One with a lager, one with a bitterand the other with a strawberry pink mojito(I’m lying, of course, I much prefer thegrapefruit. It tastes like summer in a glass).Three distinct individuals, yet so close wecould hardly be separated.

But this somewhat stretched illustrationcan’t last long as we head home to our ownwives, our own jobs and our own houses. Thetrinity, however, is always one, constantly inrelationship. The trinity isn’t a maths puzzle or

Three Men in a Pub

Sam Gibb is a twenty‐something currently living in Londonand working at All Souls, Langham Place. His passion is topresent the message and teachings of Jesus to men in a waythat makes sense to them. He has written a series of Biblestudies aimed at lads on topics such as comedy, war andsport. Sam’s heroes are the apostle Paul, Alan Shearer andGarfield, though not necessarily in that order. You canfollow him on Twitter at @samggibb.



OPINION

PoliticsLYNDON BOWRING

years later a European directive required EUmember states to address the problem ofhuman trafficking.

Since then, many MPs and peers atWestminster and politicians in the other UKparliaments and assemblies – such as LordMorrow and Jenny Marra – have raised the issue.

The government announced in August that itwill introduce a Modern Slavery Bill toimprove prosecution rates for slave drivers,increase penalties for convicted traffickers andprovide a new anti‐slavery commissioner tohold law enforcement agencies to account.

This should become law before the nextgeneral election, and CARE will be workinghard to make sure that it effectively prosecutestraffickers and provides proper protection andsupport to the victims of trafficking, especiallyfor children. n

On a bright Thursdaymorning last October in theimposing Stormont Castle –seat of the Northern IrelandAssembly – Lord Morrowwas hosting a photographic

exhibition on the subject of human traffickingsponsored by CARE.

Speaking to me about his Human Traffickingand Exploitation Bill, he related how he haddecided to do something about this seriousproblem within the province. A young womanhad come to tell him the heartbreaking tale ofhow she had been tricked into a life ofdegradation and misery by traffickers whosold her into the sex trade.

As a Christian, he felt he could not ignorethe plight of this woman and so many like herwho were enslaved. He resolved to use hisposition as a Member of the LegislativeAssembly (MLA) to put down a bill that wouldprovide protection and care to victims andalso impose greater punishment on theperpetrators of this evil trade.

Lord Morrow’s bill matches similar effortsin the House of Lords from another Christian,Lord McColl. Both have been very influentialin raising awareness and altering people’sattitudes to this largely invisible reality ofimprisonment for so many. MSP Jenny Marra

is also taking up the cause in the ScottishParliament.

Although human trafficking is a hot topicthese days, it was scarcely known about tenyears ago. The Salvation Army has a longhistory of faithfully caring for victims of thisterrible crime, which often leads to forcedprostitution. Gradually, other Christianinitiatives have sprung up to highlight thetragedy of the many vulnerable women, menand children brought to the UK each year – ortrafficked internally – to be deceived,exploited and coerced into modern slavery.

ALTHOUGH HUMANTRAFFICKING IS A HOTTOPIC THESE DAYS, ITWAS SCARCELY KNOWNABOUT TEN YEARS AGO.

In 2006, CARE began to champion this cause,persuading politicians and others to addressthe issue. This was hard work at first, but ourteam played an important part in ensuring thatthe 2009 Policing and Crime Act included aclause that made it an offence to pay for sexwith anyone who was subjected to force. A few

Signs of Hope

Lyndon Bowring was born in Wales and studied at LondonBible College. He is an associate minister at KensingtonTemple, and has been executive chairman of CARE for morethan 25 years. His hobbies include watching rugby, exploringLondon’s restaurants and developing friendships. He lives inLondon with his wife Celia, and they have three children.



OPINION

Cut to the ChaseLEE AND BAZ

As well as a lick of paint, the designers had putup motivational quotes all around the gym.Some I had heard before, but there were alsosome new ones and some pretty blunt ones,which is just what you need when you’reworking hard in the gym. Like “No hocus pocus,just focus”. That made me laugh. For me, theymade it interesting and I reckon they helped.

As a nation we have really taken to thismotivational quote thing. The most famous,of course, is “Keep calm and carry on”. Itoriginates from a wartime poster found in anold box of books at the famous Barter Booksin Alnwick, which is probably the bestbookshop in the UK.

THE DESIGNERS HADPUT UP MOTIVATIONALQUOTES ALL AROUNDTHE GYM.

The owner found this old poster and put it upin the shop behind the counter. People lovedit and wanted to see more of it, so they startedmaking posters, tea towels, aprons, t‐shirts,mouse mats and so on. The poster was neverused in real life, but it was ready to be printedand displayed in case Hitler crossed theChannel and invaded England. This wassomething he never managed, mainly becausehe had learnt about the British weather, ourobsession with queuing and most probablybecause he didn’t like The X Factor.

BY LEE JACKSON

Like most blokes, I like the thoughtof keeping fit. Sometimes I canthink about it for hours. I do mybit, but if there’s an excuse not togo to the gym or boxercise I havebeen known to take it more than

once. Like that ever‐so‐important last emailthat suddenly seems so important to send. OrI feel a very slight sniffle, and I’m afraid that ifI go to the gym it may just turn into full‐blownflu. We’ve all used a few of these excuses notto do exercise.

So when my gym closed for a month forrefurbishment, the men in my neighbourhoodsecretly breathed a sigh of relief, with manycancelling their membership for a month totake full advantage. I think some of themprobably used the time to go to their sheds orman caves and never told their partners that thegym was shut! Of course, the simplest of allman caves is just sitting in your car enjoying thepeace and quiet and checking those importantemails on your phone while no one asks you aquestion! Been there, done that!

But the other day was D‐Day: the gym’s grandreopening. I turned up feeling vaguely smug asI had been for a long run the day before andwas ready to take on a new challenge. As Iwalked in it was a little strange. Things hadmoved, new machines were in place and it hadhad a serious makeover. There were newer,slightly less sweaty gym mats and the wallseven looked clean!

Our Very OwnKitchen Poster

So the fact that we can now buy manymotivational mugs and posters in shopssurprised me at first, but I realised it’s allabout timing. The “Keep calm and carry on”phenomenon hit us at the right time. As anation we were entering a deep financialrecession and somehow the simple retroposter struck a cord in the British psyche. Wegot it. It worked.

I’m aware that quotes on kitchen and gymwalls can be cheesy, trite and even plain wrongsometimes. For example, a friend of mine hasa tattoo of a phrase that he or she no longeragrees with!

The reality is that not only are these phrasesmaybe helpful for a season, but that, in allhonesty, we all have a phrase or two that webelieve and carry around with us. Maybe it’s apositive one. If it is, fantastic! But most peopleI meet have negative ones; phrases that seemto be tattooed on the inside of their eyelids.

We can say these phrases to ourselves andothers without even knowing it sometimes. I’veheard people who say “I’m useless”, “I’m no goodat it” or “No one likes me”. I have also metpeople who spend their lives being unhappybecause they still believe a lie that was saidabout them years ago; a lie that has stoppedthem from being what God designed them tobe; their own little kitchen poster. It’s very sad.

So, lads, here’s the challenge. If you had tochoose three phrases to live by for the rest ofyour life, what would they be? I have a few, butI want you to think of your own. Whattattooed phrase, kitchen poster or gym signcould you live with for the rest of your life?Choose well, choose positively and don’t forgetyour sense of humour.

Keep calm and carry on! n

Lee is a professional speaker, PowerPoint surgeon andpresentation coach, and he can be reached at leejackson.biz.He is also one half of Lee and Baz. Together with his mateBaz Gascoyne, he writes down‐to‐earth men’s books andspeaks at a host of men’s conferences. He lives in Yorkshirewith his wife and twin girls.



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BY ANDY BLOSS

When Nathaniel Clynetransferred fromCrystal Palace toSouthampton, manyfans were leftscratching their heads,

wondering who would become their new heroat right back. During the summer of 2012,Palace’s manager Dougie Freedman said hehad found a replacement who had thepotential to be even better than Clyne. EnterJoel Ward.

It is interesting that Palace lost one of theirprestigious south London talents to the southcoast, only to replace him with a prestigioustalent from the south coast. Ward, who hadrisen through the ranks at Portsmouth, wasone of their prized assets and Freedman wasevidently delighted with the signing.

“I had a very blessed childhood,” says Ward.“We lived in the Bible College and we were verylucky as there was a lot of land, so we could gooutside and play football and muck around.When I was nine years old I signed withPortsmouth, where my brother already played.

“I went through the school years there. It wasquite difficult as we had our commitmentswith the church, so we sat down and talkedabout it as a lot of the games were on Sundaymornings.

“I HAD SOME GREATPEOPLE SPEAK INTOMY LIFE AND HELPGUIDE ME. THAT WAS AMASSIVE INFLUENCEON WHY I AM WHERE IAM TODAY.”

“My parents felt that they wanted me to go tochurch [and] as a result I only played once amonth all the way up to under‐16s, but lookingback on it I would not change a thing. I wasvery blessed at Portsmouth with the way theyhandled it through the whole of my time therereally.

“Growing up and having the supportnetwork around me of my family, friends andthe church, I wouldn’t want it any other way. Ihad some great people speak into my life andhelp guide me. That was a massive influenceon why I am where I am today.”

It was during his time at Portsmouth that hemet Linvoy Primus, a player and a person forwhom Ward has a lot of respect andadmiration. The former Portsmouth centreback founded the charity Faith and Football,which delivers football programmes in thecommunity and is backed by several otherChristian football players.

“Linvoy was a massive influence on me,”Ward says. “To see him play and be so openabout his faith was great. I have always beenvery open about my faith, but seeing himstand up and declare his faith at the top levelwas great to see. We were close and spoke alot. We still do. He was a great mentor for meand helped me during my years as a scholar atPortsmouth.”

Apart from a loan spell at Bournemouth,Ward played 89 times for Portsmouth. Hescored six goals, including a memorable goalagainst arch rivals Southampton in 2011. Thedefender had close ties to the club, but whenPalace came calling he was ready to embark ona new challenge.

He recalls: “I think the decision was difficultas there were a few different clubs interestedand I had a few choices, so that was tough. Butin terms of the decision to leave Portsmouth formyself and for my career, it was the right thingto do. The club was fantastic. The fans weregreat to me, but it was a simple one to make formy career.

“Of course, I was moving away from a clubthat had done a lot for me and I was movingaway from my church and my family; basicallyeverything I was familiar with. But also it was anew chapter, a new start and something I waslooking forward to. It was a challenge in itselfand I just trusted in God that He was going f

It took a bit of time for the 24‐year‐old rightback to make his mark on the team.Comparisons were inevitably drawn betweenWard and his predecessor, but it wasn’t longbefore he endeared himself to The Eaglesfaithful. Fast forward to 2013 and Ward is nowplying his trade in the Premier League and isup against some of the best players in worldfootball.

Ward is very much a fan favourite at SelhurstPark. He is one of the club’s most consistentperformers and there have even been whispersof an England call up.

A dedicated Christian, the defender wasbrought up at the New Life Christian Churchin Emsworth, and his family lived in thechurch’s Bible College. Ward has an oldersister and an older brother, and the latter wason Pompey’s books from a young age.

RIGHT BACKIN THE ACTION



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to take me to the right place and I believe Hewas opening doors whilst closing others.”

Ward arrived at Palace with highexpectations. Manager Dougie Freedman hadtalked him up as a player who could be evenbetter than Clyne. However, The Eagles got offto a bad start that season, losing their firstthree games.

But then they kicked into gear, going almostthree months without defeat. Despite DougieFreedman leaving, they clinched promotion tothe Premier League after beating Watford inthe play‐offs under Ian Holloway.

“I think when you go into any new place,

“I have been very blessed since I have beenhere. The group of lads last year was fantasticand that is one of the reasons why we did sowell, as everyone was going that extra percentfor each other. You knew that whoever you wereplaying alongside they had your back and youwould look out for them. That helps a lot. Weare getting the same spirit now this season.”

The 24‐year‐old is relishing the challenge ofthe Premier League and, despite a small injurysetback earlier in the season and the departureof Ian Holloway, he is still one of the first nameson new manager Tony Pulis’ team sheet.

Ward continues to be passionate aboutstanding up for what he believes in andspreading the Word of God. He joinedHillsong Church as soon as he moved toLondon and takes part in a variety ofcommunity projects with Crystal Palace andhis church.

Football goes deeper for him than whathappens on the pitch and he wants to use hisinfluence as a footballer to help others. He says:“For the likes of myself I am very blessed to bewhere I am and do what I do, so to givesomething back is something which is right. Ihave always felt that way. There are differentschemes I get involved with through church aswell, both here and back home.

“There is so much on our front door in thiscountry and there are so many people whoneed help and support. If you can be a smallinfluence, then you can still make a bigdifference to those you reach.

“For me, obviously I want to be known formy career in football and hopefully myachievements. But I also want to be known as someone who stands up for what theybelieve in.”

And what about playing for England? Warddares to dream: “I have always been a believerin dreaming big. Why not dream big? You haveto set the bar as high as you can to achievewhat you want. Of course, it is one of mydreams to walk out with an England shirt on.It would be a dream come true.

“But we just have to wait and see. I will justcarry on concentrating on football and not getcarried away and keep on pushing on andstriving to be better and better. God wants youto dream big and go on and do well. I believeHe is with me every step of the way.”

If the defender continues in his presentform, his dream could well come true. n

regardless of what career you are in, there isalways a pressure,” Ward says. “You are alwayslooking to impress and make your stand. Itwas a difficult start as we didn’t have the bestof starts to the season. I believe I am the kindof player that gets stronger through the toughtimes.

“You find out who you are during thosetimes. As I have said, I have a fantastic supportnetwork around me and even the Palace fans,they have been fantastic with me. Lookingback I am glad with how things have gonesince I have moved to Palace. I love the club, itis a great club.




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SPORT

BY STUART WEIR

Did you know that 12 of theclubs that have played inthe FA Premier League owetheir origins to a church orto Christians? WhenSouthampton moved to

their new stadium in 2001, they chose thename St Mary’s as a way of acknowledgingtheir provenance.

Of course, no one in the 19th century set outto establish a 21st century Premier Leagueclub. Churches formed sports clubs, many ofwhich existed only for a short time. Mostremained church teams all their lives, but afew evolved into professional clubs.

Churches at that time were prolific foundersof sports clubs. DD Molyneux claims that inBirmingham almost 21% of all cricket clubs

of Everton. So he was able to say to the boys:“The next time you get ridiculed at school, tellthem the big boys here on our doorstep startedout the same way: as church teams.”

Honour where it’s dueThis discovery set Peter wondering whether anyother clubs had similar church origins. He wasamazed to find that approximately one‐third ofthe teams that had played in the Premier Leaguedid. He suddenly became a man on a mission toknow more about the founders and how theyoperated. As the project developed, his aim was“to bring to public attention the wonderful,selfless work done by Christian men”.

He started to get in touch with various clubsand the reaction took him aback. “To myamazement, when I contacted the clubs to askfor information about these people, they had

and just under 25% of association footballclubs had connections with religiousorganisations between 1871 and 1880 (TheDevelopment of Physical Recreation in theBirmingham District from 1871 to 1892, DDMolyneux, MA Thesis, University ofBirmingham, 1957).

How could the members of a young men’sBible class who decided to found Aston VillaFootball Club or the boys of the All HallowsChurch Bible class who founded the HotspurFootball Club, for example, possibly haveguessed that two of England’s finest clubswould emerge in later years?

“THE NEXT TIME YOUGET RIDICULED ATSCHOOL, TELL THEMTHE BIG BOYS HEREON OUR DOORSTEPSTARTED OUT THESAME WAY: AS CHURCHTEAMS.”

The fact we know what we do about the originsof the Premier League clubs is due in no smallmeasure to the work of Peter Lupson, a schoolteacher based on the Wirral. Peter started achurch football league for youngsters onMerseyside but found that the kids were beingridiculed for playing in the league withcomments such as “church leagues don’tcount”, “you’re all soft” and “do you use Biblesas shin pads?” arising. As a result, a lot of theboys – who were only 12 or 13 the time – leftthe league and others refused to join.

Around that time (1995), Peter made thediscovery that Everton came from churchorigins, with Liverpool emerging as an offshoot

Thank God for

FOOTBALL

little, if any, knowledge of it. TottenhamHotspur, for example, didn’t realise that theyhad been a church team,” he reveals.

It was the same story when Peter contactedthe vicar of the church concerned: “Really? Westarted Tottenham Hotspur? I had no idea.”

Gravestones came to play a big part in Peter’slife over the following few years! When hediscovered the grave of Bolton Wanderersfounder, Rev Joseph Wright, and saw that itneeded some tender loving care, the clubimmediately restored it. The words “Founder ofBolton Wanderers Football Club 1874” were

Rev Peregrine Propert was a key figure in theearly years at Fulham FC.

Everton president Sir Philip Carter and LiverpoolCEO Rick Parry at the restored grave of Rev BenChambers.



SPORT

added to the stone and a service was held at thechurch where the cemetery is located. Peter wasone of the speakers, alongside club chairmanPhil Gartside and club chaplain Phil Mason.

It was a similar story with Everton andLiverpool when Peter found the grave of RevBen Chambers in Shepley, Yorkshire. The gravewas restored and a service was attended byEverton president Sir Philip Carter and thenchief executive of Liverpool, Rick Parry, as wellas three players from each club. Chambers waslater inducted to Everton’s Hall of Fame.

Peter also discovered that the first presidentof Tottenham Hotspur, John Ripsher, wasburied in an unmarked, pauper’s grave. “Whenmy work brought this to light, the clubimmediately set about giving him aheadstone,” he explains.

“It was immensely satisfying to be invited bythe club to speak at the service of dedicationof the headstone at the graveside in a cemeteryin Dover and to tell the story of this man andhis Christian faith. People had come from asfar afield as the Isle of Wight to attend theservice. This gave me immense satisfactionand it rescued from oblivion someone whosecontribution to the club had been forgotten.”

On December 20, 2011, a service was held atSt Mary’s Church in Handsworth,Birmingham, to mark the centenary of thedeath of William McGregor, a devoutChristian, former chairman of Aston Villa andfounder and first chairman of the FootballLeague (and arguably the father of all footballleagues worldwide).

Peter spearheaded the restoration ofMcGregor’s grave and helped organise thecommemorative service, which was attendedby representatives of the founding clubs of theFootball League. Peter was one of thespeakers, alongside Football League presidentLord Brian Mawhinney.

According to Peter, Fulham FC supportersowe a great debt to Rev Peregrine Propert, whowas a key figure in the early years of the club.

Peter says of him: “I admire him because heshowed unconditional Christian love to manyyoung people in his locality who were rejectedby ‘respectable’ people because they weredirty, used foul language and were uneducatedand generally dismissed as uncouth.

“Propert brought them into his mission hall,where he set up a gym for them so that theycould enjoy wholesome recreation as analternative to streets and gangs. Not only did hedo all this, but he did it against considerableopposition, because respectable people said aclergyman had no right to mix with people likethis on an equal basis as friends.”

As a result, Propert was reported to theBishop as being unfit to be a clergyman. Hetold the Bishop that he had come not just topreach, but to live out Christian principles. Heargued that people had forgotten Jesus’important words: “I have come, not for therighteous but to call sinners to repentance”.Propert felt that he had to withstand thehostile criticism he met and continue tointeract with these young men on an equalbasis. And many became Christians. f

John Motson, Peter Lupson and Cyrille Regis atthe launch of Peter’s DVD, Thank God for Football!

Tottenham director Paul Barber and Peter Lupsonby John Ripsher's new headstone. He wasoriginally buried in an unmarked grave.



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Bringing Swindon up to dateLupson’s research caused a potentiallyembarrassing situation for the club concernedon one occasion. Swindon Town had alwaysbelieved the club was founded in 1881, and thisdate is still listed in the Sky Sports FootballYearbook. Then Peter found “irrefutable

Stuart Weir is passionate about Jesus Christ and aboutsport, and he spends his life trying to help people make theconnection. He has written several books about sport andChristianity and has worked as a sports writer at Olympic,Paralympic and World Championship events. He has beento three football World Cups and was Togo’s Olympicattaché at the 2012 Olympics. Married to Lynne, he has twogrown‐up children. He is a member of Kidlington BaptistChurch and Frilford Heath Golf Club.

evidence” that it was actually established in 1879. The timing of Peter’s discovery added to the

embarrassment, as the club was about to holda dinner to celebrate the 1881 date. He says:“People had to be told, ‘Look we’re ratherembarrassed about this, but this dinner shouldhave been two years ago. You have every rightto ask for your money back as we arehonouring the wrong year.’ But people saw thefunny side of it.” The Swindon Advertisersubsequently wrote a full‐page article on “Theman who rewrote Town’s history”.

With one exception, none of the clubsmaintained a close church link or sought touphold the standards of Jesus Christ.Nonetheless, we can be thankful for the insightof these pioneers who engaged with sport. Wecould do worse than to join in the words of LordArthur Kinnaird, who played in nine FA CupFinals between 1873 and 1883, as well as being aleading Christian statesman of his era, said: “Ibelieve that all right‐minded people have goodreason to thank God for the great progress ofthis popular national game”. Many of usregularly and sincerely thank God for football.

And, among others, we can also thank Godfor: Rev Tiverton Preedy, founder of BarnsleySt Peter’s Football Club; John Ripsher, who rana Bible class at All Hallows Church,Tottenham, and poured his life into the boysof the area and their football club; andWilliam Baker Pitt, curate of Christ Church,Swindon. Where would Barnsley FC,Tottenham Hotspur or Swindon Town bewithout them? n

Find out moreThank God for Football!

(Peter Lupson, SPCK; London, 2006)

Thank God for Football!: The Illustrated Companion

(Peter Lupson, Azure/SPCK; London, 2010)

Thank God for Football! (DVD) (Christian Television Association; Clevedon, 2013)

The 12 clubs of church origin that haveplayed in the Premier League are:

Aston VillaBarnsley

Birmingham CityBolton Wanderers

EvertonFulham

LiverpoolManchester City

QPRSouthamptonSwindon Town

Tottenham Hotspur

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Swindon Town CEO Nick Watkins and PeterLupson at the grave of William Baker Pitt.



HEALTH & FITNESS

FITNESSWith Phil Baines

slowly and on an easier setting. The danger aswe get older is that we think we should reducethe ROM due to our age. However, the older weget the more important it is to try to maintainour full ROM.

I really believe (and scientific evidenceseems to confirm this) that, within reason, themore we exercise the healthier we will be. Ithink this is even more important into ourforties and fifties, and carries on beingincreasingly important the older we get. Itmight just be that the type of exercise changes.As we get into our forties and fifties, we maywell find we prefer squash, badminton andtable tennis. Prefer is possibly the wrong word,perhaps we find these easier.

WITHIN REASON, THEMORE WE EXERCISETHE HEALTHIER WEWILL BE.

I received an email from a chap in his fifties whois playing more squash and badminton thesedays and was experiencing pain in his wrist andankles. He was asking what he could do to helphim in these areas so he could continue to playfrequently. Firstly, flexibility is really important.In the same way that we stretch our quads andhamstrings, we also need to stretch our lowercalves, ankles and wrists.

A good exercise to stretch and strengthen theankles is simply to use a stair tread. Stand atthe bottom of the stair and step up with one

The age question has beeninteresting me recently. I wasspeaking with someone yesterdaywho said that even though ageexpectancy continues to rise, thequality of life gradient is not

rising at the same rate, with the gap gettingbigger and bigger. One of the main reasons forthis is that muscles, ligaments and tendons arenot kept flexible. This causes restrictedmovement, which affects quality of life.

I was recently at an old people’s home and a92‐year‐old lady wanted to know what shecould do in the gym to keep fit. Wow, 92!Unfortunately, because she had experiencedheart trouble, she was ticking all the boxes onthe health assessment form and staffmembers were reluctant to recommendanything. I found that really sad.

In previous articles I have mentioned theimportance of keeping ourselves flexible. Theother thing that is really important is focusingon our full range of movement (ROM). This isthe amount we are able to move our arms andlegs to exercise. On a rowing machine, ratherthan doing short, sharp movements, olderpeople should still do a full row, perhaps more

How Old Do You Feel?

Phil Baines is passionate about fitness and sport. Herecently began a venture called Fit 4 The Challenge(www.f4tc.co.uk), which offers a range of physicalchallenges for diverse abilities. Phil organises eachchallenge and trains individuals and teams to completethem, either for charity or for personal achievement orboth. Phil is married with two teenage sons.

leg pushing up onto the toes. Step back downand repeat ten times on each leg. Secondly, usea balance board. Any work on the balanceboard will strengthen the ankles.

Thirdly, the wrists. Using a bar or lightdumbbell, hold it and rotate up and down fromthe wrists with the hands facing up and thendown, so that only your hands are moving.Simply rotating the ankles and wrists regularlywill keep them loose and should help.

Lastly, and unfortunately, ageing means thatwe will experience discomfort and pain as weexercise. Most of this you can push through,and you will need to learn the signs to knowwhen to stop. If you experience pain thatdoesn’t go, see a doctor or seek advice.

The important thing is keep exercising andenjoy it! Let age be a challenge rather than abarrier. n



HEALTH & FITNESS

Michael J Darracott has been an executive chef at various large establishments. He has cookedfor more than 200 people at a time, including a number of celebrities, and has publishedseveral books. For more information, visit www.chefmikedarracott.com.

With Chef Mike DarracottHEALTHY COOKING

Fresh Spring Vegetable Soup

Serves around six people

INGREDIENTS

100 grams of spaghetti, snapped into short lengths

20 grams of defrosted frozen corn on the cob kernels

20 grams of defrosted frozen garden peas

90 grams of sliced potatoes

20 grams of sieved plain flour

1 litre of vegetable stock

2 vegetable stock cubes

45 grams of butter or margarine

50 grams of sliced carrot

50 grams of sliced turnip

1 sliced medium-sized red onion

1 tsp of paprika powder

1 pinch of garlic salt

5 tsp of Worcester sauce

Salt and pepper to taste

1 bouquet garni (parsley, thyme and bay leaf, tied inside some leek and celery)

METHOD

1 Clean, peel and prepare the vegetables. 2 Melt the butter or margarine in a saucepan and cook the vegetables on a

low to medium heat until they are half cooked. 3 Stir in the sieved flour and continue to cook for three minutes. Do not allow

the mixture to take on any colour.4 Place the two vegetable stock cubes in a jug with the garlic salt, paprika and

Worcester sauce. Add a litre of boiling water and stir until fully dissolved5 Pour the mixture over your vegetables and add the 100 grams of

spaghetti, snapped into short lengths. Add the bouquet garni, bring themixture to the boil and turn the heat down to a simmer. Cook for around25 to 40 minutes.

6 Remove the bouquet garni and discard.7 Add salt and pepper to taste and then serve.



HUMOUR

Kneel-Down Stand-UpPAUL KERENSA

My wife and I sponsor two kids, so aregular rolling donation goes to them. Wereassess our giving regularly and check thatwe haven’t inadvertently signed up formonthly wine crates or gym membership wedon’t need.

Now is a good time to check what you’vegot going out. Make sure you’re using whatyou’re paying for and sending some regularmoney to people who need it.

Oh, and I’m delighted to say that my wifeand I have finally decided to stop our onlinedating subscriptions, which is fortunate,because once she hears me on Britain’sFunniest Phone Recordings she won’t wantanything to do with me. n

for DVD rental, a magazine company and a winefirm. There was no gym membership, becauseapparently I spend all my time drinking winewatching a DVD with a magazine. It was all a bitpathetic really: my life in snapshot, and myhard‐earned bucks draining into corporations’coffers every month.

We’ve been lured away from the one‐offpayment into monthly account drainages.Websites from online dating to family treeresearch to ‘clouds’ of your e‐stuff now knowthat the best payment structure (for them) isfor us to pay a little more often. And it sucks.

Why does it suck? Because I know a lot ofyou are just like me. Yet we walk past a guyselling The Big Issue and say, “Sorry mate”, ifwe say anything at all. Or perhaps we think,yeah, what the hey? I haven’t bought a copy ina while and there are a few strangers aroundwho will see me doing this egalitarian thing. Sowe proudly hand over our pound coins only todiscover that it’s now £2.50. We suddenly feelthe glare of these strangers, as if we’d try to payusing pre‐decimal currency.

How many direct debits have yougot in place? Do you even know?I must say I have no idea. Butthen I hardly know you, so howwould I? I mean, obviouslythere’s one to Sorted magazine,

but apart from that…I really should keep better track of my own. I

was flummoxed when my credit card providerphoned and asked me three test questionsabout my regular payments. Bizarrely, withoutme answering, they couldn’t even tell me whythey were calling.

The only thing they could say was that all ofthis was being recorded for training purposes.Talk about pressure! Not only was I beingquizzed about my account (while out andabout, no less, so with just memory to workfrom!), but my wrong answers would bepermanently committed to digital archive, ormaybe even one day broadcast as Britain’sFunniest Phone Recordings when the channelsget really desperate.

ALL OF THIS WASBEING RECORDED FORTRAINING PURPOSES.TALK ABOUTPRESSURE!

Unable to remember my direct debits, the callwas like a very boring version of the Bridge ofDeath in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Icould give my favourite colour or even the air‐speed velocity of an unladen swallow, but Ifloundered on payments. I guessed incorrectly,so I never did find out why they phoned.

I checked my regular payments when I gothome. I guessed there would be five of them;there were eleven. There were utilities, some ill‐judged insurance for a toaster and subscriptions

Standing Disorders

Paul Kerensa is an award‐winning stand‐up comic andauthor of the book So a Comedian Walks Into a Church. Heco‐won a British Comedy Award for writing on theBBC’s Miranda, and the Royal Television Society (RTS)Award for Not Going Out, as well as working on other showsthat history has thankfully forgotten. Visitwww.paulkerensa.com or follow Paul on Twitter@paulkerensa to find out more.



HUMOUR

In Vino VeritasTONY VINO

An Award forGood Service

For truckers and comedians,motorway services are morethan a place to go for a wee, acoffee and a pasty. I spend aninordinate amount of time inthese places, which are really

designed for us to just pass through. Thesecathedrals of utility have become my office,conference facilities and even my spa retreat(in the form of massage chairs).

I’ve worked out that for every hour of stand‐up I perform, I do an average of four hoursdriving to get there and back. It’s theequivalent of a chef spending most of his shiftwashing up pots instead of cooking.

Driving home I rarely make a stop. There’snothing like that giddy feeling on the M4 atmidnight thinking I’ll be back by 3am or even2:45am if instead of stopping I just wee in abottle. Yet on the outward leg of a journey Irelish the opportunity to stop as I find thefamiliarity of motorway services strangelycomforting.

There is always the ubiquitous WH Smith,Krispy Kreme stand and obligatory arcade

centre. The most popular arcade games by farare the driving games. Who goes on a massivejourney, arrives at a service station and thinks,‘I could do with a bit of drive to relax’?

Perhaps it’s a necessary way of ventingfrustration for those who have spent hoursfeeling constricted by traffic laws andregulations. I feel The House of the Dead doesthe same thing for me in response to the lawswe have about not shooting people.

An exciting development at Moto services isthe introduction of Dyson Airblade handdryers within all men’s toilets. I’m presumingthey are also in the ladies’, but I haven’tresearched it that thoroughly.

The Dyson Airblade is the world’s mostadvanced hand drying system, with the stickeron the front proudly claiming to offer“complete moisture absorption within sevenseconds”. Men remain unconvinced, however,knowing that they can achieve completemoisture absorption within three seconds bysimply rubbing their hands on their jeans.

One service station I went to had a framedcertificate proving that their toilets werefinalists in the 2012 Loo of the Year Awards.That means it is someone’s job to go up anddown the country inspecting toilets with aclipboard while trying to look official ratherthan like a pervert.

How thorough is the assessment? Does hehave to time his journey perfectly to arriveexactly when he needs to go? That’s a lot of

pressure, although it’s nothing a laxative and aPot Noodle can’t sort out. “Hey boss, goodnews. I’ve got dysentery. I’ll be doing plenty ofovertime this week.”

The people who run the Loo of the YearAwards also offer a UK Toilet Attendant of theYear Award. I know one toilet attendant, alovely bloke called Bumi who works at TigerTiger in Leeds, where I regularly compère. Hehas a fine selection of aftershaves, chewinggum and Chupa Chups lollies. I informed himof the toilet attendant award and encouragedhim to up his game if he wants to become acontender. He is now working on a series ofadditional services, including massage,counselling and a selection of dips.

WHO GOES ON AMASSIVE JOURNEY,ARRIVES AT A SERVICESTATION AND THINKS, ‘I COULD DO WITH A BITOF DRIVE TO RELAX’?

I like the fact that we are giving awards to toiletsand the people who work in them. Like thehumble service station, they are oftenoverlooked when it comes to accolades anddisplays of public appreciation. So forget aboutthe Baftas and the Brits, because I’ve createdThe Tony Vino UK Motorway Services Awards.

And the winner is: Tebay ServicesNorthbound M6.

Even though Tebay sounds like a Yorkshireversion of an online auction site (“Eee luv, geron t’internet and let’s bid on sum tat ont’ebay”), it’s the only independently run servicestation in the UK and comes replete with duckpond, dog walker trail, farm shop and butchercounter (with buy it now and Paypal facilities).

So if you’re looking for a quick weekendbreak, never mind the New Forest orAmsterdam. Get yourself to Tebay ServicesNorthbound M6 for a Ginsters. JudithChalmers eat your heart out.

If, however, you are in a rush to get home andprefer to wee in a bottle rather than using anon‐award‐winning service station, here are afew handy tips:

1 Make sure the brim is wide enough. Fruit Shoot bottles are not practical

2Practise in a stationary vehicle before attempting it at 80mph

3Do this in a secluded area, because if you do get arrested in a supermarket car park

with your pants round your ankles while you’rewedged into a bottle of Evian, don’t try to pinit on me. n

Tony Vino is a professional comedian who straddles the worldof comedy clubs, festivals and churches. For moreinformation see www.tonyvino.co.uk.



COMMENT

Lucas AidJEFF LUCAS

floodlit detail the small transgressions of thosearound us while we totally ignore – or are evenoblivious to – the jumbo jet‐sized failings inus. We strain at the gnat and swallow a three‐humped camel in the process.

Perhaps there is actually some mischief inour critical attitudes. We zero in on the specksof sins in others’ lives, hoping that in doing sowe will cover our own far darker stains. Deeplyunhappy with our own grubbiness, we distilour shame and turn it into venom, ready for asnake bite that can fracture and destroyfellowship and friendship in seconds.

I WAS READY TO KILLHIM; EAGER TO SHAREA GESTURE THAT WASNOT DISSIMILAR TO AONE-WAY SIGN.

We become like the Pharisees, who got theirstomachs into serious uproar because Jesusdidn’t ceremonially wash his hands, andafterwards popped off to plot his death.

Next time you’re tempted to get irate aboutthe speck of sawdust lingering in yourbrother’s eye, check that you’re not cartingaround a coffee table‐sized plank in your own.And avoid the sulphuric snare of Satan: justbuy your kids proper driving lessons. n

A Driving Lesson

Teaching your children to driveis not a good idea. Let merephrase that. There shouldbe a clear, biblical commandprohibiting such madness;sternly advising would‐be

parental driving instructors that they shallhereby be stoned to death if they attemptdriving tuition. Maybe there is a verse aboutthis buried in the ox’s gallbladders ofLeviticus: “Rideth not in thine daughter’schariot or sudden filthy great boils shall breakout all over thine head”, or something similar.

It seemed like such a good idea at the time. Ipictured a happy hour of parent‐childbonding. We would amble with cautious speedthrough the leafy lanes of Sussex, me gentlyencouraging, coaching and occasionallycorrecting Kelly’s driving technique. I wouldspeak in calm, measured tones and she wouldbe delighted to receive such expert instructionfrom her ever‐loving father. It would be such ajoyous, relaxing time.

What transpired was about as relaxing as theBattle of Armageddon. Tension climbed as wegently brushed bushes and shrubs on theroadside, edging even higher when wenarrowly missed a warm embrace with anarticulated truck.

It wasn’t Kelly’s fault; she was a new driver.But her braking was, shall we say, sudden. Acouple of times I found myself kissing thewindscreen, my nose corrugated up againstthe unyielding glass. My impatience rose todangerous levels. I even screamed loudly intongues in an octave so high that it soundedlike an excerpt from the Vienna Boys’ Choir’sGlossolalia album.

But the fever pitch of agony came when weencountered a roundabout. Kelly was nervous(understandably, seeing as Saddam Husseinwas teaching her to drive), so she stalled thecar a couple of times. A driver behind us gotimpatient and honked his horn two or threetimes. I was ready to kill him; eager to share agesture that was not dissimilar to a one‐waysign. I was utterly incensed at his crass lack ofunderstanding.

And then it occurred to me. I was angry withhim for doing exactly what I had been guilty offor the previous 20 minutes. He was mildlyirritated with someone he didn’t know, while Iwas bursting a blood vessel over the driving ofmy daughter, whom I dearly love.

Why is that so often we are least tolerant ofthe sins of others, when we ourselves are guiltyof the same faults? It seems that a madblindness seizes us, throwing into magnified,

Jeff Lucas is an international speaker, broadcaster andauthor of 22 books. He loves to communicate using humourand storytelling. He is a monthly contributor to Christianitymagazine and writes daily Bible reading notes, Life EveryDay. Jeff holds a teaching position at Timberline Church inColorado and is married to Kay.



COMMENT

The Last WordCARL BEECH

Sorted. Don’t Miss The Next Issue! ON SALE APRIL 18

Quality Time

Iknow you’re reading this well into 2014,but as I write this my mind is still welland truly focused on Christmas. Yep,it’s New Year’s Eve and having justwalked the dog and settled down witha coffee I thought I would crack open

the laptop for the first time in a few days andpen a few random thoughts for you blokes.

Being a dad to two teenage daughters createsthe odd challenge. I used to think that thetoddler phase was demanding and, previous tothat, being a nappy‐changing factory wasn’tthat much of a laugh if I’m totally honest. Butteenage girls? That’s a tough gig!

Sure we have a lot of laughs and we all get onjust great, but having to watch chick flicks?That takes it to another level. My insistencethat Rocky II is really a love story just hasn’twashed with them. Then there’s the problem ofboys, fashion, makeup, hair (no, I’m notstereotyping, it’s a facet of my daily life) andthe fact that they are both strong‐minded,independent types who have an extensive rangeof opinions on nearly everything. This isn’t somuch a problem – I’ve raised them to be thatway and I like it – it’s just, well, challenging.

WHY DID WE AGONISEOVER WHAT TO GET THEM FORCHRISTMAS WHEN I COULD HAVE SPENT 35P ON ANINFLATABLEBASKETBALL?

Beating all of this, however, is the problem ofpresent buying for Christmas and birthdays.What do you get teenage girls? That’s wheremy wife comes in, of course; she who knowsthe mystery of New Look, earrings and hairstraighteners. Who ever knew that there weredifferent types of hair straightener and thatthere is a premium brand (GHDs, apparently)that do the job of straightening better than allthe others?

To me, it’s as mysterious and confusing as theYeti or quantum mechanics. Speaking ofwhich, according to quantum mechanics anelectron can be in two places at once, which is

something my wife Karen also seems to achieve.And she could have told you about it way beforethe CERN facility (the European Organizationfor Nuclear Research) got on the case.

Back to presents. Every year since the StoneAge there have been “must‐have” presents. In1952, it was Mr Potato Head. A million of thesekits were sold. Yes, it was a kit: plastic arms, legsand a face, and they didn’t even give you apotato. In 1975, it was the Pet Rock, which wasbasically a rock in a box. Five million units weresold! In 1983, it was the Cabbage Patch dolls.You can still visit the Babyland General Hospitalwhere they were ‘conceived’ to this day!

Moving on to 1984, we had Transformers, thenin 1989 the Gameboy, in 1998 the Furby (40million sold by 2000), the PS3 in 2006 and theZhu Zhu in 2009, which was basically a hamsterwith a battery. It was pretty similar to the realthing minus vet bills, smells and the need toclean the cage. Genius! Parents go to alarminglengths to buy little Timmy or Suzy the gift of alifetime, which is then discarded within a yearas the new ‘wonder toy’ pops along.

Why I am thinking about this? Because as Isit on my sofa, directly opposite me is a brightorange, inflatable basketball that came out ofa set of Christmas crackers from the CVMoffice Christmas bash. It’s been a revelation.My 14‐year‐old daughter hasn’t stoppedplaying catch with me across the house atevery given opportunity and chucking it at myhead when I’m sitting down reading the news.

It has left me with a burning thought,though. No, not why did we agonise over whatto get them for Christmas when I could havespent 35p on an inflatable basketball? Morelike, when all’s said and done, what mydaughters really want is time with me. n

Carl is married with two daughters. He heads up ChristianVision for Men (CVM) and founded Codelife. You canfollow him on Twitter @carlfbeech and on Facebook.


sorted magazine : march / april 2014

Documents

life around50

life coach

regularbasissorted issue

martin leggatt28 books

martin leggatt24 television

editor joy

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paul kerensa95