SLOPEMAG

MENTALHEALTHIT’S NOT A

SPECTATOR SPORT

HOOK-UP

LETTERFROM THE

YASMIN ALAMEDDINE

EDITOR It is my pleasure to welcome you to Slope Media Magazine’s Fall 2014 issue! Although it is a daunting task, this issue attempts to capture the essence of what it is really like to be a student at Cornell University. From satirical pieces like our “Ideal Re-sume” to helpful Netflix binge watching guides to in-depth Q&A with our Student Trustee to emotionally provoking confes-sions of mental health we weave together humorous, popular and touching issues to portray the nuanced culture Cornellians navigate on a daily basis. I would be remiss if I did not thank the help of my incredible writing staff, metic-ulous copy editors, cutting edge design ed-itor and supportive executive board. Each and every one of them added value and perspective to this issue and should be ex-tremely proud of this final product. With that, I bid you safe travels as you dive into the overwhelming, hilarious and always thought provoking world that we call: Cornell.

MAG STAFFYasmin AlameddineDanielle GrinbergAlexa PaleyChris AuLindsay CayneElani CohenJacky FalkenbergZoe ForsterDanielle GrinbergGaby KeaneIsabella KrellHannah McGough*Morgan MillerAlexa PaleyTania PerezSydney Reade*Christina ReidMike RosenblumJessica Sion*Emily TripodiZoe ZaneatasMorgan MillerDani Kellner**COPY EDITORS

Editor in ChiefCreative Director

LayoutWriters

PresidentVP of Content

As Cornell’s multimedia powerhouse, Slope Media Group is a leader in Cornell-related media

and entertainment, delivering a creative, student perspective on

everything that matters to the Big Red community. Slope is for

students, by students.

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What it’s like Being an International Student at CornellOpening Up: Mental Health Does Not Need to be a SecretGitting It Done: Q&A with Student Trustee Ross GitlinDrunk in (Big Red) Love

Ways to Relax in IthacaNightlife 101Got Service? The Many Ways to Give Back to CornellThe Fragile Balance of Being InvolvedRaising [Awareness] Our StandardsCornell Celebrates 150 Years “Far Above Cayugas Waters”What Cornell Would be like If...

Campus CatsBONUS: Cut Out the Ready-to-Use resume in the back!

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

HUMAN INTEREST

CAMPUS

HUMOR

The Art of the Perfect YakBecome Friends With Gilmore Girls This Winter8 Shows You Should Binge-watch this Winter BreakFashion Statement: Can Galiano Come Back from his Fatal Faux-Pas?Honoring the late Oscar De La RentaDrop It Low: Are Surprise Album Releases the New Trend?5 Film Fests You Need to Check Out

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YAKYAK It was my first night at Cornell. I was an eager freshman awaiting my future filled with challenging academ-ics, new friends, and endless freedom (a.k.a. not having to text my mom ev-ery time I miss curfew, because I no longer had one, #CollegeLyfe). My roommate was sitting next to me laughinguncontrollably at her phone when she turned it around to show me an unfa-miliar mint-colored screen.

“What is this?” I asked her, still confused. She looked appalled–“Yik Yak? You’ve never heard of it?” I shook my head and listened as she explained this new form of procrastination to me.

Yik Yak, a social media app famed for its compulsory anonymity, was creat-ed by Tyler Droll and Brooks Buffing-ton, graduates of Furman University. Almost a year since its initial launch in November 2013, Yik Yak has become a phenomenon among college students around the country. Using GPS tech-nology, the app locates the user and displays yaks within a 1.5 mile radius zone. The user can then read, write, and up-vote or down-vote Yaks.

I of course, unable to resist your typ-ical buzzfeed-style listicle, decided to take a look at some of Cornell’s “Top Yaks” (determined by amount of upvotes received) so that we can recognize some of the genius anonymity of this prestigious institution:

Yak: “I think I made out with my TA last night.”

Make sure to put that in the “special comments” section of your TA evaluation. A+ for you!!!

Yak: “Don’t cry because you’re hungover, smile because you were hammered(:”

While most people respond to this sit-uation with the beloved “I am never drinking again,” I gotta give it to this kid for the optimism.

Yak: “The Slope: Cornell’s way of helping its students counteract the effects of the delicious ice cream”

Rather walk up the slope than gain the freshman 15! #CornellCalves

Yak: “Typing your essay in single space till the end so that you can get excited when you change it to double space >>>>”

Yes, this just confirms the fact that we are all nerds here–all of us. Don’t even try to deny it.

Yak: “Procrastinating so hard, I took the time to safely eject my USB”

The epitome of procrastination is this, my friends. Normally I just rip my USB out of my laptop, so times like these are when you know you do NOT want to be doing your work.

Yak: “Yeah I graduated Cornell with a BA and MA, and a JA!”

True goals.

Yak: “American Horror Story: Prelim Season”

I think we can all just agree how self-explanatory this one is… Prelims = Death. Plus that would make for a GREAT season. Jessica Lange as the orgo professor, I already love it.

Yak: “Deleted my tinder. Deep regrets. Now I’ll never find true love.”

Yes you won’t find true love, but may-be you’ll find time to actually study in-stead of looking at your phone every 5 seconds to see if you have a new match.

Yak: “If Ezra can’t be proud of his school’s football team, at least he can feel secure in the knowledge that Cornell has the strongest yak game around.”

True. Have you gone homeduring fall break and ever looked at your high school’s Yak feed? Well, I haven’t because I’m pretty sure it’s nonexistent. Cornell’s Yaks may be re-ally weird and even stupid sometimes, while causing our 20 minute problem sets to last 2 hours, but we really do have the best Yak game in all of the Yik Yak world.

Danielle Grinberg

the art of the perfect

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Thanks to Netflix’s acquiring of Gilmore Girls and Friends, this Ithaca winter may not seem as atrociously freezing as we binge-watch our way from Stars Hollow, Connecticut to Central Perk, New York. On the fateful day of October 1, 2014, a day that will never be forgotten in all of binge-watcher history, the entire series of Gilmore Girls - yes, I mean all 7 seasons - was added to Netflix. As if homework procrastination and the insurmountable challenge to leave our beds could not get any harder, Netflix goes ahead and throws us a wicked curveball.

Adding Gilmore Girls to Netflix attracts a whole new audience of watchers. Are you looking for something light, hilarious, but also deeply embedded with those family morals of mother-daughter relationships, bonding, and an exposé of simply how amazing female lead Rory is at life? Gilmore Girls suits you quite well. Netflix is revolutionizing our newfound desire to re-watch all episodes, in chronological order, as humanly quick as possi-ble. As Cornell students who can likely relate to Rory’s everyday struggles of being a Chilton student, stressing about homework, tests, boys, and life, why wouldn’t we want to idolize her poise, beauty, and overall perfection from behind our computer screens? The show never stopped being great, it just stopped becoming relevant to us as viewers when it disappeared from ABC Family without a proper goodbye (the show aired from 2000 to 2007, when it was cancelled in its seventh season). The show never received the award-recognition it deserved despite being adored by the masses. But Netflix says it’s back, and this is definitely a cause for celebration.

Equally as important, if not more, is that the highly anticipated series Friends is also scheduled to air on Netflix beginning January 1, 2015. We are deeply thankful for this - with our holiday highs and spirits crashing down after the New Year, Friends will be there to pick us up precisely when we need it the most. Chandler’s perpetual, witty humor and Monica’s neuroticism will definitely be something to look forward to after Santa Claus returns to the North Pole and winter break ends. Without even leaving the safe confines of your bed, you automatically will have 6 new best friends without even having to try. Friends aired from 1994-2004 boasting 10 seasons of greatness that you will undoubtedly spend every free second of your busy life catching up on. You will finally be able to pick up on the Friends references and understand the significance of award-deserving songs like “Smelly Cat.” You may even be excited to graduate from college, possibly live in the West Village of New York City (although in an apartment likely 1/10 the size), and eventually find friends as true as these.

Everyone knows that the Ithaca winter is nothing short of brutal. For Cornell students, binge-watching will simply become a habit of life - if it has not already. Instead of breaking up the day with an episode here and there interwoven with a trip to the Farmer’s Market or other leisurely, outdoor activities, the winter basically forces the average student to hibernate inside - and more specifical-ly - in bed. If you have a free 3 hours to kill, why face the genuine threat of hypothermia if a warm, cozy bed is also a viable option? Binge-watching series is as common as the common cold in the winter; it is an allotted 3-4 months of the year where being lazy is actually socially acceptable. There really is no downside to binge-watching. Despite its potential health hazards and impingement on your exercise and social sched-ules, Gilmore Girls and Friends are worth the risk. And better yet, by the time you finish watching, Netflix will likely introduce another beloved series that will fill the empty void with which Lorelai and Rory, Rachel, Joey, Ross, and the rest of the crew left you.

ALEXA PALEY

GILMORE GIRLS THIS WINTERBECOME FRIENDS WITH

“Netflix is revolutionizing our newfound desire to re-watch all episodes”

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1) GOTHAM (FOX)Gotham speaks to the superhero lover in us, but with a twist. Instead of focusing on Gotham City’s infamous Batman during his prime crime-fight-ing adulthood, this show serves as an origin story for the rise of crime and the villains we know so well from the comics. It takes viewers back to the early days with a young Detective James Gor-don, with features from baby Bruce Wayne and many bad guys we love to hate (and hate to love). A number of familiar faces have already shown up, and we’re excited to see who else is to come. The Joker, Harley Quinn, Mr. Freeze, maybe even Killer Croc - the possibilities are endless! If you’re a superhero buff, you’ll definitely want to check this new hit.

2) RED BAND SOCIETY (FOX)Having arguably the most unique premise of the new shows this season, Red Band Society is the one to watch! It surrounds a group of sick teens dealing with the ups and downs of adolescence while also living as residents in a hospital’s pe-diatric ward. The young protagonists struggle with heartbreaking illnesses such as cancer, anorexia, and cystic fibrosis, but Red Band So-ciety still manages to be a surprising, uplifting, and feel-good show. It is the perfect mixture of comedy and drama. Everything about this show makes our hearts warm.

3) OUTLANDER (STARZ)Outlander is essentially a feminist-driven Game

of Thrones set in 18th century Scotland with some time travel thrown in the mix. Based on the super popular Outlander series by Diana Gab-aldon, Outlander is a must watch for all historical fantasy adventure fans who need a new show to watch. The show does a great job of accurately portraying what it would be like if you sudden-ly went back in time and had to deal with unfa-miliar customs, political tensions, and people that lack knowledge of modern advancements. The show features a strong female lead, hot Scottish men, and a fantastic plot. What more could you want? Speaking of Game of Thrones, here are shows re-turning this year that you need to start watching or rewatch: 4) GAME OF THRONES (HBO)Game of Thrones, based on the gigantic A Song of Fire and Ice series by George R. R. Martin, en-compasses the complex politics, wars, and subse-quent fallout surrounding the fictional Westeros as different families fight for the the right to rule the Iron Throne. The show has memorable characters (we’re sure you’ve at least heard of dragon queen Daenerys Targaryen and badass antihero Tyrion Lannister) and interesting, com-plex storylines (seriously, there a minimum of six distinct stories going on at a time). As you watch you’ll find yourself totally immersed in this epic tale. It really is the ultimate fantasy adventure, and we can’t wait its upcoming return.

Winter is coming, Cornellians, and with it a nice long break. You know what that means, time to binge watch your favorite shows and find some new ones along the way. Here are 8 shows to binge watch this winter break. First up are the new shows that you should jump on during the winter hiatus:

Binge-WatchThis Winter Break8

Tania Perez

Shows You Should

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5) SHAMELESS (SHOWTIME)This gritty, dark comedy focused on the Gallagher family in Chicago’s south side is actually insane. Its protagonist anithe-roes often dabble in drugs, affairs, and all around illegal ac-tivities. But somehow, incredibly, we always have no choice but to root for the Gallaghers, a group of underdogs that re-peatedly prove they really will do anything for each other. What you see is not what you get with this show. The writers do a great job of incorporating dynamic character develop-ment, taking viewers on ride with the show’s direction. A couple of years into the show it has only gotten crazier - let us give you a taste, the male lead literally got his kidney sto-len. This is the show where you literally never know what to expect next. After you’re done being tortured by shows still in progress, it’s time to rewatch the classics: 6) BREAKING BAD (AMC)It wasn’t too long ago that the Breaking Bad epidemic had infected the masses, yet for some reason we have the urge to rewatch this legend of a show. Walter White’s journey from an overqualified high school chemistry teacher to the big-gest meth producer in the ABQ is some of the finest television we’ve ever seen. The show is incredibly written, with twists and turns that take the viewers on the biggest metaphorical meth trip of their lives. Creator and producer Vince Gilligan will forever be written in the history books for this one. RIP!

7) ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT (NETFLIXThere’s a reason Arrested Development was renewed 7 years after being cancelled. We’ve rewatched it at least 5 times now, and somehow always find something new to laugh at. The Bluth family deals with regular issues like be-ing a never-nude, face blindness, and hiding out in Mexico to escape prison. They are the epitome of what it means to be eccentric, quirky, and generally insane; in fact they may be the only family to make your own look normal! The Bluths The summer 2013 revival was a godsend to its original cult following, and deserves to be watched by every comedy lov-er. If you decide to check this out for the first time or revisit it, just remember kids: there’s always money in the banana stand.

8) FRIENDS (NBC)Last, but certainly not least, is Friends. The ultimate #tbt, and it has never been so appropriate for our age group. The show deals with the adventures of a close-knit group of friends (get it?!) as they navigate love, family, work, and their relationships with each other. What you end up with is a set of six unique and rootable characters that you wish were your own friends! The show offers a number of running gags, memorable moments, and equally heartfelt and hilarious scenes that make us want to rewatch all over again. We’ll be spending New Year’s with the gang, and you should too.

1. GOTHAM4. Game of thrones6. Breaking Bad

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FASHIONFASHIONCAN GALIANO COME BACK FROM HIS FATAL FAUX-PAS?

STATEMENTSTATEMENT

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The announcement in early October that design-er John Galliano had been hired as creative director of Maison Martin Margiela surprised the fashion world, and has once again ignited conversations about forgiveness. The prolific designer fell from grace in 2011 after an anti-Semitic scandal, and had been laying low until recently. The saga is a contro-versial one, making it difficult to straddle the fence as to whether the punishment fit the crime, but more importantly, it begs the question: Can you truly sepa-rate an artist from his art? Time and time again this question has been asked, but there never seems to be a definitive answer. One reaches a sort of impasse when trying to defend the artist in question, because it is doubtless that some sort of hypocrisy is involved.

After a video of Galliano making a drunken an-ti-Semitic rant in a Paris bistro was made viral in 2011, he was dismissed from his role as creative di-rector at Dior and his own namesake label. He re-placed his once outrageous personality with a more subdued aesthetic as he went through rehab and a series of confessional interviews. Though he had a much-hyped stint at Oscar de la Renta and a creative director position at L’Etoile, a Russian beauty chain, Galliano had essentially disappeared off the map un-til this recent appointment.

At the center of this debate is whether or not we can accept the creative output of someone who seems to harbor racist thoughts. Is the art produced free from the values and morals of its creator, or is it forever sullied by it? Can we objectively judge a piece of work if we know the nature of its origins? For some, Galliano’s crime can never be forgiven, and his reinstatement into the industry equates to supporting a bigot, and at the extreme, to perpetuate his bigotry. His designs, no matter how innovative or romantic, can never be removed from the environ-ment whence they came.

Others, including yours truly, believes that his time in what journalist Robin Givhan has termed the “fashion wilderness” is punishment enough for his past transgressions, and the time is drawing nigh for the redemption of one of fashion’s most prominent provocateurs. Surely I am not suggesting that Gallia-no’s bigotry is acceptable, although some may accuse me of indirectly doing so by supporting his appoint-ment, but he seems to have accepted his guilt and to be working towards vindication. He received a mea-sure of absolution from the Anti-Defamation League (ADL), an international Jewish non-governmental or-ganization that promotes anti-bigotry, which lauded his efforts for atonement.

This position however is difficult to support, be-cause the moral boundaries surrounding it are so blurry, and also because everyone’s personal mor-al yardstick seems to differ according to the artist. This is where the issue of hypocrisy is key. Late last year, decades-old accusations of child molestation charges against director Woody Allen resurfaced af-ter Vanity Fair’s profile on Mia Farrow, Allen’s wife at the time. The controversy reared its head when Allen and Farrow’s adopted daughter Dylan Far-row penned an open letter in The New York Times, charging the director with molesting her in the fam-ily’s attic when she was just 7 years old. The claims are certainly heinous and, should they be true, Allen should not only be ostracized from the film commu-nity or society in general, but he should be tried in court. Not being a film buff, I have no connection with films in general and cannot say that I hold Allen on any sort of pedestal except acknowledging that he is a renowned director. That being said, I have made it a point to try not to watch any of his films, and I feel a certain contempt for those in the film industry who have come to his defense. Allen fans might call peo-ple like me naïve and claim that his films should not be judged solely against the creator but by its quali-ty, but it is difficult for me to watch his films without feeling as if I’m supporting a child molester. This di-lemma is mirrored in my defense of Galliano and my criticisms of those who continually censure him. It is the impasse that many who have tried to argue the same have faced; in my mind’s eye, I see Galliano as repentant but Allen as unforgivable.

These are not unique cases and there are many examples of artists who have either suffered from their actions or have remained unscathed by contro-versy. Mel Gibson of the famous “Jews are respon-sible for all the wars in the world” and “If you get raped by a pack of n****rs, it will be your fault” has suffered immensely for his many despicable com-ments, as many believe he should have, but Iggy Azalea, who has tweeted homophobic and racist comments in the past, is on the top of the charts right now. Chris Brown has recently made the rounds with his popular song “Loyal”, but everything he releases seems to be haunted by the specter of the pictures of a bruised and bloodied Rihanna.

Situations like these are not simply black and white, even though many try to make them out to be; everyone is guilty of the same hypocrisy that they are fighting against. So when Galliano makes his de-but at Margiela this coming February in Paris, the reception will be mixed; for some it will mark the overdue return of a fashion demigod from his exile. For his detractors, it will be akin to a betrayal and the consecration of an anti-Semite in the name of

Chris Au

ARTS & Entertainment

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The fashion industry is not known for its punctuality. It’s fairly common for designers to run an hour behind sched-ule during Fashion Week. Fashionably late is a term rooted in truth, used to describe creative types who wear watches for aesthetics’ sake.But that term never applied to Oscar de la Renta. Perfectly manicured, with a pocket-square folded just so, de la Renta al-ways remained composed before revealing his collections. For five decades, the “sultan of suave” set standards in style and etiquette. After battling cancer for eight years, de la Renta passed away in his Connecticut home at age 82. Remembered as courteous and warm, a gentleman was the only man Oscar knew how to be.

From film to music, de la Renta’s chivalrous presence ema-nated across mediums. On Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw is in awe when her boyfriend is on first-name basis with Os-car. In The Devil Wears Prada, the character based on Vogue’s Editor-in-Chief, Anna Wintour, scoffs at her intern’s disregard for luxury brands when she is unknowingly wearing a trend popularized by the great de La Renta circa 2002. The fashion powerhouse has grown synonymous with living the high life, as evident in Kanye West’s rap: “especially if she can’t get that dress from Oscar de la Renta they wouldn’t rent her.” Even Nicki Minaj adores his feminine yet contemporary designs,

donning an emerald silk taffeta gown at the American Music Awards in 2012.

Long before the days of red carpet events, de la Renta left his childhood home in the Dominican Republic to study paint-ing in Madrid. Enchanted by haute couture, de la Renta landed his first apprenticeship under the distinguished Spanish cou-turier, Cristobal Balenciaga. After gaining experience under Lanvin and Elizabeth Arden, de la Renta founded his ready-to-wear label in 1965. Amongst his original clientele were first ladies. Nancy Reagan and Laura Bush roamed the White House halls in de la Renta’s customized creations. Style icon Jacque-line Kennedy immortalized de la Renta’s peach sheath dress, cinched by a regal bow. As both her close friend and favorite designer, de la Renta created a pantsuit for Hilary Clinton, who presented at the CFDA Awards in 2013.

Above all, de la Renta believed in self-expression, remark-ing: “Fashion is about dressing according to what’s fashionable. Style is more about being yourself.” That was the magic be-hind de la Renta. His dresses were worn in celebration of per-sonal style, signifying a life lived to your own accord. If being yourself is the standard of style, de la Renta was undoubtedly the most stylish gentleman around.

Honoring The LateOSCAR DE LA RENTA

Nicole Fitzsimmons

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 10

Beyoncé did it. Then Taylor Swift attempted it. Then U2, Kid Cudi, and Skrillex, tried it, all to varying degrees. The “it” in question is releasing an album (or in Taylor Swift’s case, a sin-gle) with minimal to no warning. The strategy relies on word of mouth and Internet networks, be they Reddit.com, Facebook posts, or Buzzfeed articles, to spread the word and create hype surrounding the release. If done correctly, artists can shatter sales records, scale the charts, and reach incredibly large au-diences, all without spending a dime on marketing. But not all artists can utilize this method successfully and, “pull a eyonc .” While eyonc was able to effectively own the Internet and break iTunes in the days following the re-lease of her unannounced album, the same was not true for Kid Cudi. His minimally promoted album release was his smallest debut by far. On the other hand, Skrillex’ minimal-no-tice-to-release album tactic was incredibly successful, with his surprise album reaching over 500,000 sales in its debut week.

Instead of an entire album, Taylor Swift caught the world by storm by releasing a single, “Shake t Off,” without any warn-ing. This is significant, as artists as well-known and strong-sell-ing as Taylor Swift usually have massive marketing budgets deployed weeks in advance of the lead single for a new album. offered an interesting twist on the surprise album re-lease. They shook up the standard album release in several ways: an unannounced album, that appeared in ALL iTunes accounts, completely free of charge. This sounds like a recipe for success. Yet the Internet was immediately ranting about how annoying it was to have this unwanted album on their iPod’s and demanded that Apple tell them how to remove it.

The complaints were so vocal that Apple actually put out a statement explaining how to remove U2’s album, Songs Of In-nocence, from your iTunes.

Thom Yorke, better known as the lead singer of Radiohead, is the most recent singer to, “pull a Beyoncé.” Like U2, Yorke add-ed a spin to the style. Instead of releasing the album on iTunes, as all the other artists mentioned did, Yorke put his album on sale on BitTorrent.com, and included several free songs avail-able for immediate download. Yorke’s experiment has proven to be a resounding success, as he hit 1 million downloads with-in the first week of the album’s release. ut why is any of this significant n short, this shift has the potential to change the way music is “discovered” and con-sumed by fans, at least as it concerns established artists. If unannounced album releases are deemed successful, major labels will relish the chance to save millions on marketing by allowing the Internet to spread the word, organically, about releases. This puts the impetus on fans to keep their eyes and ears open to new music. With social media becoming a ubiqui-tous part of life, who needs a massive marketing budget when Katy Perry has almost 59 million followers on Twitter and Em-inem has over 95 million likes on Facebook At that point, its effective ust to post about the release on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and then sit back and watch the Internet do it’s thing. And if the and Thom orke strategies take hold That would be a game-changing event for the music industry. One day very soon, it might be common to have unannounced albums from your favorite artists just appear on your iPod. What a time we live in.

Michael Rosenblum

Are Surprise Album Releases

A New Trend?DROP IT LOW:

1. Centrally Isolated Film Festival (CIFF)Cornell University, Ithaca, NYOnly in its second year, this film festival “seek[s] to bring togeth-er the central/upstate New York student film community.” The submission deadline has passed, but if you attended CIFF at the Schwartz Center on November 21 and 22, you would have seen a mix of documentary and experimental films exclusively cre-ated by students. So, maybe this one does play into notions of film festivals gratuitously featuring student work, but at least it supports fellow Cornellians and community members. If it’s made by Cornellians, it’s gotta be good, right?

2. Tribeca Film FestivalNew York, NY

With the submission deadline being fairly late in the year, your student film pro ect could be featured at one of this state’s most illustrious festivals! None other than Robert DeNiro is a found-ing member of the festival, which aims to bring the public together through the power of film. The event, which will take place pril 1 2 , 2 1 , usually attracts a big celebri-ty crowd. owever, one is hard pressed to find a box o ce smash hit to come out of Tribeca, only because the festival’s strength lies in its documentary entries. Narrative films are also accepted, but in keeping with its purpose to stitch togeth-

er the human experience through film, documentaries tend to populate Tribeca’s screens and award ceremonies. 2 1 ’s

“Chef” a movie about a professional chef whose beef with a food critic see what I did there? leads to uitting his ob and starting a

food truck stars Sof a ergara and ustin o man among others, and was first screened at Tribeca.

For infre uent movie goers, the idea of film festivals connotes bizarre images of bad ist experi-mental acting, and yards of film reel spinning with frame after frame of student theses. ut film fes-tivals, like film in general, are uni ue cultural experiences that should be taken with a grain of salt. Often, they are venues for small time filmmakers to ex their muscles, but sometimes that results in innovative movies that contributes to the “ever upward” tra ectory of the medium and industry. ig movies like ittle iss Sunshine 2 and The sual Suspects 1 came out of the famous Sundance Film Festival. Not every festival has the notoriety of Sundance, but if you can summon up the courage to attend and sit for an hour or two watching what might not be Oscar worthy depictions of cinematography and dialogue, you could be pleasantly surprised. Following is a list of some of New York’s biggest film festivals, and even one of Cornell’s own. Check some of them out. You never know you might ust become part of the first audience to see a modern classic in the making.

Sydney Reade

FILM FESTSFILM FESTSYOU NEED TOYOU NEED TOCHECK OUTCHECK OUT

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3. High Falls Film FestivalRochester, NYHigh Falls might take place in Rochester, but it looks for submis-sions from all over the world. Currently, High Falls wants to emphasize Rochester’s history as the birthplace of the Women’s Rights Movement by celebrating the “artistry and innovation of female cinematic visionaries”. This means films by women, featuring women, for women. No need to meet all three criteria, but if you want to see some inspirational films like aiting for “Superman,” which was screened shortly after its wide-scale release, come see the line-up in October next year.

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3 4. Buffalo International Film Festival (BIFF)Buffalo, NY

alking a fine line between local and global, IFF asks for submissions from peo-ple who were born, grew up in, and/or went to school in the Western New York

egion. If the filmmakers are also ethnically/culturally diverse and have made an impact on film and international communities, even better. That mouthful of a combination alone should make for some interesting movie experiences, if not exactly mainstream cinema about to make it big. The event usually takes place in late September/early October, but with u alo being relatively close to Ithaca, think about attending as a fall activity next year.

5. Hamptons International Film Festival (HIFF)Long Island, NYFor some surefire hits with some gambles thrown in, check out

IFF next October. ith 22 years on the festival circuit under its belt, IFF attracts one of the largest crowds, civilian and celebri-ty alike, while also bringing in major cash prizes for submissions and acting as a springboard for critics when film season heats up.

istorically, IFF has shown some obvious blockbusters, such as 12 Years a Slave 2 1 and Silver inings laybook 2 12 , but it has also launched the big screen premieres of admittedly lackluster movies like Open ater 2 , more well known for their experi-mentation with the medium than their critical reception.

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 12

I was born and raised in São Paulo, Brazil, and went to an American high school my entire life. During senior year of high school, most of my friends and I were accepted into American universi-ties. Naturally, as internationals, we be-lieved that we would find a great group of international students on our first day of Cornell Orientation and we would be best friends for the next four years. Right? Wrong.

Let’s look at some data from Fall 2013 (these numbers must be very similar for this year.) There were 14,393 under-graduate students at Cornell. Of these students, 10% of them were interna-tional. That means that out of almost 15,000 undergrads, only 1,439 students came from outside the United States. No wonder it is hard to find internation-als whose backgrounds are similar to yours: Cornell accepts students from 69 countries, but 1,439 internationals divid-ed by 69 countries equals very few stu-dents from each country!

My best friend (who is Colombian but was raised in Brazil) goes to Duke, and is part of an great group for internationals: Mundi (which is latin for World.) Mundi, as the name entails, is a fraternity-like group that hosts events for internation-als. Just like there are fraternity hous-es at Duke, there are apartments for Mundi, so you can live with your Mundi friends. It is great to point out that being in Mundi is not mutually exclusive with participating in Greek life. At Duke, you can be part of a fraternity or sorority and be part of Mundi.

This is not the case at Cornell. Al-though there are a couple of clubs for international students, such as the In-ternational Student Board (ISB) and some country-specific groups, none of them succeeds in uniting all internationals at Cornell. Many of these events (such as the French Society’s wine & cheese and the Colombian party, PorColombia) require that you pay to get in. The ISB hosts events such as “Free International Bread Tasting or “Taste of Chinese Food”

in Willard Straight Hall, but they are usually awkward and only promote con-versations like “Hi, my name is Isabel-la and I’m from Brazil.” Different from Duke’s Mundi, Cornell’s ISB hosts events on campus rather than in an apartment complex off-campus. Students are usu-ally done with classes by 4:00pm, and once they are at home (in North Campus, West Campus or Collegetown) they don’t want to come back to Willard Straight at 7:30pm. The 10 internationals that are still on campus at that time might stop by the event, but a 10-person party isn’t the most exciting… If events were hosted in collegetown (in someone’s apartment or in a restaurant), students would attend it as an actual event where they are meeting new people, rather than as a 15-minute stop-by where they are tast-ing 3 types of breads and introducing themselves to those surrounding them.

I don’t think that an international student should only have internation-al friends. In fact, I disagree completely with that statement. The whole point of moving away from your country is to meet people from the country you are moving to, to learn more about the cul-ture and the ways of living. I chose to live in (middle of nowhere) Ithaca, NY because I wanted start my college expe-rience without my friends from home, forcing me to meeting students here. It makes it a bit hard to engage in conver-sations with non-international students, though, when they say things like “OMG! You’re from Brazil? Do you live in the jun-gle and have a pet monkey?” No I don’t. “So you speak Spanish?” Yes I do, but not because I’m from Brazil; We speak Portu-guese there. “Wait, so you live in Buenos Aires?” No, that’s Argentina’s capital.

As I mentioned previously, it is such an amazing and maturing experience to come to college by yourself in a foreign country and meet so many people from all 50 states. I have learned so much from my American friends and have had a great time, but I think it is important to have a group of international friends when you miss home and your culture.

Many internationals, especially those from South America and Europe, were raised very similarly and hold a similar culture. We are all very family-orient-ed, we have traveled to many countries, we were allowed to drink at age 18… It is heart-warming to know that you have a “family” of international friends at Cor-nell who understand you and are in the same situation.

With that in mind, I think that some-thing is missing at Cornell to allow in-ternationals to find other internationals early on during their college career. Cornell as a school is not very welcom-ing of international students; we are ac-cepted into the school, but the University does not do much to support us after we get in. Cornell hosts International Ori-entation during the first week of school, but there are two problems with that. I am a triple-citizen (including American) so I never went to the International Ori-entation, I just went to the regular one. I am sure that many other internation-als have the same circumstance as me, and also did not attend those events. My brother did attend International Orien-tation this fall, and told me that it didn’t help him find internationals with simi-lar backgrounds and interests because the events are awkward and do not pro-mote this sort The second problem is that just like ISB’s events, the O-Week events are awkward and do not help people find other internationals with similar backgrounds.

I truly believe that creating an or-ganization like Duke’s “Mundi” would fill the gap that is missing in the inter-national community at Cornell. Rather than hosting events where people taste international breads and then leave af-ter half an hour having met about three people, Cornell needs an organization that will have a much bigger presence in students’ lives. It would provide inter-nationals with a strong-knit community, allowing them to host events often, live together in a block of apartments, and get to know each other on a much more personal level.

INTERNATIONAL studentINTERNATIONAL studentWhat It’s Like Being An

CORNELLCORNELLAT Isabella Krell

13 Human Interest

Many internationals, especially those from South America and Europe, were raised very similarly and hold a similar culture. We are all very family-orient-ed, we have traveled to many countries, we were allowed to drink at age 18… It is heart-warming to know that you have

-nell who understand you and are in the

--

ternationals to find other internationals early on during their college career.

--

cepted into the school, but the University does not do much to support us after we get in. Cornell hosts International Ori-entation during the first week of school, but there are two problems with that. I am a triple-citizen (including American) so I never went to the International Ori-entation, I just went to the regular one.

-als have the same circumstance as me, and also did not attend those events. My

-tation this fall, and told me that it didn’t help him find internationals with simi-lar backgrounds and interests because

-mote this sort The second problem is that just like ISB’s events, the O-Week events are awkward and do not help people find other internationals with similar

-ganization like Duke’s “Mundi” would

-national community at Cornell. Rather than hosting events where people taste international breads and then leave af-ter half an hour having met about three people, Cornell needs an organization that will have a much bigger presence

-nationals with a strong-knit community, allowing them to host events often, live together in a block of apartments, and get to know each other on a much more

I believe that a glass of wine and a pint of ice cream can fix most problems. When that doesn’t work, usually some pizza, french fries, mozzarella sticks and another few glasses will solve the issue. Whether it be a fight with a friend or family member, horrible prelim, or boy drama, this coping method has been pret-ty reliable for me.

Part way through my junior year, this fool-proof method stopped working, and I tried to convince myself that there was no problem. I was just over-worked, stressed, and tired. Each night I would drink an extra-large glass of wine and watch TV until I fell asleep. If I couldn’t cope with my own problems, maybe distracting myself with fictional character’s lives would occupy my thoughts until I drifted off.

After months of this unhealthy behavior, a few anxiety attacks, and some encouragement from my best friend (if I haven’t said thank you for that, thank you) I finally called Gannett. The process started with a call to check my mental state. However, this call had to be scheduled. The next available appointment for this 15 min-ute phone call? A week later. Not only did that week seem infinite, but it is absurd to me that I had to wait a week to check in with someone when I was in such a terrible mental state. Fi-nally, I spoke with someone who evaluated my health and decided that yes, I did indeed need to talk to someone. No shit sherlock. Another week later, I went in to speak to a therapist. I checked in at Gannett with a recep-tionist who whispered “Oh, you are here to see Mr. Useless” (okay, that is clearly not his name, but I’ll keep the real one to myself). “Yes,” I said louder than I needed to “I AM here to see Mr. Useless,” I yelled. Shouting his name back at the receptionist was my way of saying “Are you trying to tell me I should be embarrassed by the fact that I am here to see a therapist? Be-cause, personally, I have no problem with it. ” I understand that not everyone is comfortable with this idea, but whispering names, speak-ing in hushed tones, and giving patients pitiful looks, only perpetuates the stigma that

mental health--or lack there of--is something to be ashamed of.

Finally I saw the therapist, who after about thirty minutes of talking did not hesitate to tell me that I likely have depression, anxiety, OCD, and a learning disability. “Would you like to schedule another appointment?” was all he said. Um, yes…? I left to his quiet goodbye and more pitiful glances from the staff. I did not feel bad for myself. I was actually relieved to know that I wasn’t crazy. The feelings that had been consuming me had a reason, a cause. I was not ashamed. Why were they acting like I should be? We stigmatize mental health. The media pokes fun at celebrities for “going insane.” It is not until there is a conclusion to the prob-lem that a more somber tone sets in. A very smart tweeter once said, “If you cry for rob-in williams, you can’t laugh at Amanda Bynes. Mental Health is not a spectator sport.” We can-not choose when to feel empathetic and sym-pathetic towards others problems. Struggles with mental health are never funny, no mat-ter how the issues manifest. Mental health is not something to judge, so why is mental illness treated so differently from physical illness? You cannot control ei-ther of them. Both can have long recovery processes, and some never go away. I think of the,apy, or choosing to take medicine as being in remission. You can do everything in your power to stay healthy, but there is no guaran-tee that you are cured.

For my whole life, I have battled with de-pression and anxiety. It was not until I got the courage to do something about it that I final-ly feel okay. Mental health is not something to be ashamed of, not something to fear, and ab-solutely not something to hide. Like any phys-ical illness, it takes time, patience, and most of all action to heal. Depression and anxiety are something that I will always struggle with, but being able to talk about it openly makes me feel like I shouldn’t be afraid or ashamed. We all need support. Wine and fried food cannot be the only solution.

MENTAL HEALTHd

oe

s n

ot

ne

ed

to

be

A SECRETMORGAN MILLER

OPENING UP:

We should all be able to talk about our mental health without fear of judgement. This has to stop from the top down:

Gannett: stop acting like we should be ashamed. You can loudly ask me if I’m pregnant everytime I come in, but when you ask how I feel, all of a sudden you get very quiet?

Administrators & teach-ers: Take a look at the pre-lim schedule. Stop assigning work over holidays. Make problems on tests solvable. Grading on a curve is just demoralizing to students. Give students a break.

Friends and family: Check in with your friends and loved ones. Ask someone “how are you today?” and really mean it.

Everyone: Mental health is not something to be laughed at. It is not something to mock. It is not something to stigmatize or criticize. It is not something to hide or cover up. It is like any other type of illness; those affect-ed have little control over their condition, but need support.

HUMAN INTEREST 14

15 HUMAN INTEREST

This year’s Homecoming was particularly special.

A select group of magnates convened on campus to

honor Cornell’s Sesquicentennial during what was

the first-ever combined Trustee-Council Annual Meeting (TCAM). For Ross Gitlin ’15, this meant putting

on a suit and accompanying some of Cornell’s most

successful influencers to events of varying degrees of pomp. I sat down with the university’s youngest

trustee to shatter superficial impressions of his role, and get a better sense of the ultra-confident student trailblazer behind the vote.

GittingGitting IT D

ON

E

HUMAN INTEREST 16

The Student Trustee receives many privileges�full voting power, connections, “supreme control” over the university (as simply stated by Cornell). Are these experiences the highlight of your job?

The opportunity to keep trying to make an impact on univer-sity policy is the highlight of my job. What is great about these events is that it gives you the opportunity to interact with

board members and council members on a personal level, forging strong relationships that can only help the work that

you do in connection with University matters.

Would you say you’re level with the other trustees? Are you taken as seriously?

A great thing about the the role of the student-elected trustee is that you are taken as seriously as any other trustee, and all

the other trustees are constantly seeking your opinion. I think

it’s remarkable that as both a graduate [trustee] and an un-dergraduate [trustee], your opinion is extremely valued. Where I find I have the most impact is another question. I serve on four committees: the Trustee Community Communications

Committee [which] deals with town-gown issues, the Commit-tee on University Relations […which] deals with local, state, and federal issues, the Committee on Student Life, and the Commit-tee on Academic Affairs. Additionally, I also recently served on the Presidential Search Committee, which selected Elizabeth Garrett as our 13th President. I am very grateful to have been able to serve in this capacity.

The committee in which you can have the largest impact as

a student, I believe, is on the Committee on Student Life. In this committee, we discuss pertinent issues that have the poten-tial to impact the entire student body. Throughout my tenure, I have sought to encourage discussion on key issues. I believe I have had the most impact in seeking to improve the health

and well-being of our student body through initiatives that arise out of the Committee on Student Life.

What would these initiatives really look like? Can you give me an example of something students would recognize?

One initiative students would recognize is the newly formed organization, Cayuga’s Watchers. It is a newly incorporated, independent, 501c(3) organization, which seeks to reduce and mitigate the harmful effects of high-risk drinking. I believe Ca-yuga’s Watchers is one avenue to solve a significant problem -- high-risk drinking -- that we continue to see on campus. The

model has proven extremely successful at both Haverford, where they have the Quaker Bouncers, and at Dartmouth,

where they have the Green Team. Since it’s inception at Cor-nell, Cayuga’s Watchers has also been extremely successful.

So this was something created outside the board of trustees that you brought in. What does it look like when you bring something to the board?

In the case of Cayuga’s Watchers, I practically said “Wow, here’s this innovative organization that is working to fix a sig-

nificant problem that we are observing. It has proven success-ful already at these schools, we have a foundation here, and

we should do everything that we can to support them.” When I present something, it’s because I’ve seen an issue on campus and [...] an avenue to improve it.

By presenting to the board, what is your desired ef-fect-what can they provide?

The Board can provide [...] advice and guidance -- and advice and guidance from the Trustees can be incredibly helpful. [In regards to high-risk drinking], the Board can help determine and provide feedback on what other policies can be imple-mented to reduce the harmful effects of binge drinking.

I’d like to back up a little bit and talk more general-ly about being Student Trustee. The main objective of the Student Trustee is to be a representative of the student body, but also a member of the governing board. How do you represent the student perspec-tive?

It’s a tricky idea. You’re elected by the students, but once you’re elected you’re a “fiduciary” as a member of the Board of Trust-ees. And what that means is that while I am a student and

while I was elected by the students, I have to vote ultimately based on what’s best for the entire university.

I see my role as bringing the perspective of the student body to the Board. Each person on the Board has an expertise in a certain area, I would say that I have the expertise of living the student experience every day. I try to bring that understand-ing of the student experience to inform Board discussions and decisions. However, [...] if the majority of students say that we shouldn’t be raising tuition, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I should vote that we shouldn’t be raising tuition, because it may not be in the best interest of the entire institution.

And that’s obviously a hard place to be in. What are the challenges of trying to represent the students, but still agree with your fellow trustees? Do you find yourself adapting more to their way of thinking, or would you say it’s easy for you to think fully as a student and fully as a trustee?

It’s definitely an interesting dynamic. I’d say that based upon my perspective, I use my best judgement as to what will be best for the University in the coming year. It is not limited to

Q&Awith Student Trustee

Ross Gitlin

17 HUMAN INTEREST

what will be best for the students, it’s not limited to [what will be best for the] faculty, or any other constituency. I think the faculty and graduate trustees would give a similar answer

-- it’s not limited to your constituency, but rather you are chal-lenged to think about what is best for the entire school. And Cornell is a dynamic institution with many different parts.

It is. How do you find yourself in a position where you can comfortably represent the entire student body when it is so diverse? You can only probably relate to a small fraction. Do you do anything to inform your stance on what the student view is?

Fortunately for me, I had the experience of serving on the Stu-dent Assembly for two years prior to being elected trustee. During my second year on the SA, I served as the Vice Pres-ident of Outreach. The goal behind the Vice President of Out-reach is to reach out to as many different students and organi-zations on campus to ensure that the SA is hearing everyone’s voice -- that the SA understands every student’s perspective. I brought that experience into my current role as Trustee. I try to meet with as many students as possible -- formally and informally. I take as many meetings as I can, but I also stay informed through the SA, where I can get a strong sense of

various student’s perspectives and what students believe is important.

You have ample opportunities to get to know the student perspective. That’s not the case for other board members. I’m wondering if you’ve ever had to correct assumptions about the student body within meetings?

I wouldn’t say that I’ve ever encountered a situation where

I’ve had to. The board is very knowledgeable about issues of student life.

How do they stay informed?

Trustees stay informed through reading the Cornell Daily Sun,

through monthly updates, and through various other means.

If there is ever a question about the student experience, An-nie -- the Graduate Student-Elected Trustee -- or I are always happy to answer.

Could you recap your platform, and why you chose to run?

When I ran during my sophomore year, we created a com-prehensive platform. My platform included ideas to address

financial aid, health and safety, sustainability, diversity and in-clusion, communication and accountability, and graduate and professional student concerns.

I first became interested in the position my freshman year. The student government had an info session, where Alex Bores ‘13, spoke about his role as a trustee. That’s when I first became interested. The SA provided an opportunity to learn about campus and student life and a vehicle in which I could have

the opportunity to make a difference. What’s unique about [the SA] is that it provides about $6 million dollars of funding every two years to all the student organizations on campus, includ-ing Slope Media.

Oh yeah, $1.25 per student!

Which isn’t minimal!

HUMAN INTEREST 18

No, we can do a lot with it!

And it was a great experience. But the SA provided a strong foundation for me to be successful in my current role as a trustee.

Your platform included everything from Diversity & Inclusion to Sustainability. Would you be able to line up each pillar of your platform with a real change we would all recognize?

One thing that is important to understand about the role of the Board of Trustees was best explained by Frank H.T. Rhodes, the [ninth] President of Cornell. He said this: in terms of the board and their role in relation to the administration, keep your nos-es in—know what’s going on—but fingers out. Trustees should not interfere with the management of the organization. So as a board member and even as a student trustee you’re sup-posed to provide strategic guidance, but not necessarily be too hands-on.

So you’re only movers and shakers in the sense that you’re providing direction.

Well, it’s more complex than that -- I believe the Board pro-vides invaluable help to the administration. We provide fidu-ciary oversight. At the same time, as a Board member it is not my job to interfere with the process of management of the institution. That’s why have incredible leaders in both Presi-dent Skorton, Provost Fuchs, and their entire senior leadership

team, but also in the incoming President-Elected, Beth Garrett.

The unique thing that the Student-Elected trustee can do is [...] get involved in initiatives on campus between Board meet-ings, because we are on campus each day. I’ve served on sev-eral committees in which I’ve found the issues that they are

addressing to be very important. I’ve also sought to support organizations on campus because I believe this to be my role - seeing campus organizations that are doing important things and elevating them.

How do you elevate them? Could you give me some kind of example?

When I say elevate, I mean do everything I can to support them and ensure they can be successful. I can do this in providing an avenue for students to discuss issues with the administration --

I can help bridge that gap. I can and often do serve as a liaison to the senior administration, in order to help specific causes or organizations that are doing important work. To give you two quick examples, over the last two years I’ve worked with the Every1 Campaign and Cayuga’s Watchers to ensure they have the funding necessary to be sustainable in the future.

How do you balance a position that is so time-con-suming with being a “regular” student? How do you do it-do you have a special clock that gives you more hours each day? A clone that’s helping you at-tend all of these meetings?

I have a busy schedule, but I also look around me and some of the things that other students are doing, [and] the schedules that they have. Whether they’re a full time athlete, a musi-cian, [or] running Slope Media, to me, it’s extremely impressive and also pushes me to work harder as well.

What a nice answer. Really though, how do you man-age your time?

I learned to put everything down on a calendar. As a fresh-man I had a legal pad. Let’s say starting October 20th, [I’d say] these are the things I need to do by the end of the week, and then I’d start crossing them off as I completed them.

Do you have time to have fun? (We need to make sure you are a real person).

Yeah, I have time to have fun. Especially as a senior in which

this is the last year I’ll be on campus, I have plenty of time to hang out with friends, to go out, to play sports.

One a scale of 1 to Hotelie, how often do you wear a suit during the school week?

Hotlies, how often do they wear a suit? Like once a week at

least?

in-know what’s going on-

BUT FINGERS OUTDON’T INTERFERE WITHTHE MANAGEMENTof the organization”

“Keep your noses

“I’ve sought to

organizations on campusBecause I believe this to be

SEEING CAMPUS ORGANIZATIONS

AND ELEVATING THEM.”

that are doing

my role.

SUPPORT

important things

19 HUMAN INTEREST

On Fridays (freshmen). I don’t think most weeks I have to wear a suit. I don’t go to the

various board meetings wearing a basketball jersey, but on a scale of 1 to Hotelie I don’t think I have to wear a suit as often

as a Hotelie. There are concentrated periods where I have to

wear a suit.

Like this past weekend.

Exactly, when I was in a suit from Wednesday until Saturday.

If the Gitlins are Jonas Brothers, who is who?

I have to say, I don’t know the names of the Jonas Brothers.

What? Do I need to give you the run-down? So we’ve got the oldest, Kevin: kinda shy, kinda like the one no one really loves, but if you had to choose him, a Jo-nas Brother is a Jonas Brother.

But no one really loves him?

No one is fanatic about Kevin.

Who are people fanatic about?

The middle one. Joe is the “fun” one, he’s the “hot” one, all the girls like him. Then people love the baby, Nick. The little one.

I guess the accurate thing would be that I’m a combination of the middle and the baby, and that both of my brothers are the ones that no one actually likes. (I’m hoping that they’ll read

this.) I think we’d all hope that people find us—

To be teen rock stars?

—as people they can come to for anything.

As we wrap up the interview, I want to hear more about your perspective on the trustee role as you’re getting ready to leave it behind.

We’re the only school in the Ivy League to have a student trust-ee.

Do you think having this role makes Cornell better equipped to make decisions?

I think that students are at the heart and center of the uni-versity. It is necessary and important to hear the student per-spective before making any major decision about the strategic direction of the University. Many decisions have the potential

to impact the student experience and the University is better equipped when they have trustees from different constituen-cies at the table.

How have you been able to stay unbiased?

I think over time I have developed a different perspective on campus life that I originally had because the lens that I now look at issues through is “how does this affect the entire uni-versity.”

I could describe the board’s role as [this]: we’ve approached the Sesquicentennial; the school has been around for 150 years. The board’s role is to ensure that we can be as successful in the next 150 years as we have been in the first [150].

So, a lot of forecasting.

It’s broad–level policies. It’s [planning for] 5, 10 years, not nec-essarily the next day.

Could your success in policy over the course of your years here have anything to do with the fact that you look like white Obama?

That’s an interesting thing…I’ve never heard that before. I ad-mire President Obama so that’s a huge compliment, but do I think that I look like him? I don’t really know how to answer

that.

As you approach the end of your term, anything else you wish to accomplish, or see the university accom-plish?

I still have a ways to go. But as I do approach the end of

my term, I want to get to work on pressing issues that our

University continues to face. Including, high-risk drinking, sexual violence, and creating a more inclusive campus cul-ture.

In the case of high-risk drinking, I want to push for addi-tional education. You want more people calling [911] if there is every any doubt whatsoever about someone’s health. Both Cornell and New York State have medical amnesty. As

we continue to educate people, you want to see an increase

in calls, but less medical transports. If an ambulance comes, you hope that students will not be in such bad condition that they will need to be transported to the hospital. But if someone is transported, you hope that they the BAC -- the blood alcohol content -- is on average lower. We still have a ways to go, as do colleges across the country on many

issues.

Will you be a trustee one day?

I don’t know. What I do know is that Cornell has had a very huge impact on me and I’m very grateful for the institu-tion. If there is any way besides this that I can give back in the future, I probably will.

How will you bring what you’ve learned in the role into your future work?

The Board has to deal with really important issues, wheth-er it’s discussing inequality (in ensuring college is afford-able) or issues like sexual violence and high-risk drinking. These are all issues that I think on a macro level in our

country [...] need to be addressed. The conversations on the board, along with my academic studies, have only further informed me and made me conscious of things that need to

be addressed.

And we’re confident he’ll “Git” it done.

HUMAN INTEREST 20

(BIG RED)Drunk in

LO

VE

Christina Reid For years, my parents have told me the elaborate story of how they fell in love with each other their ju-nior year of college. They often reminisce about how their romance was sparked in an English class while reading Shakespeare. At this point, I have learned to tune them out. Here I stand, a very single junior with no love, no steamy Shakespeare class, and a seeming-ly impending deadline. I like to reflect on my solitude from an independent perspective -- I am single be-cause I want to be and who cares? But then I see a couple holding hands in the library and am reduced to a bitter mess. I ask you, fellow Cornellians: how does one find love on the hill? According to my research, finding love at Cornell is, in fact, possible. In a moment of weakness and despair, I googled “Cornell love stories.” The results were as-tonishing. Lovebirds across the country have submit-ted tale after tale owing Cornell for granting them ev-erlasting happiness in a spouse. Pam ‘74 writes, “I met my husband during Freshman orientation in 1970. We sat together in Bailey Hall and have not been apart since. We will celebrate our 40th wedding anniversa-ry this year.” Pam, you are one lucky woman. But my time here at Cornell is ticking away.

The more research I did, the more helpless I felt. But I couldn’t bring myself to look away from the statis-tics on the Cornell Alumni page. 24% met as first-year students. Well, freshman year has come and gone. 41% met at a hall party. How old is this data? What’s a “hall party?” 25% dated at the hot truck. This statistic hurt me the most. Many a nights I have spent order-ing Cajun fries from Louie’s with no boy on my arm. 31% walked around Beebe Lake holding hands and got married. This just could not possibly work now, we’re all too busy Instagramming the lake…#gorges.

My research showed me that while I may, in fact, be “undateable,” Cornell just is not what it used to be. Much of Cornell’s dating culture has now become a hook-up culture, largely dominated by sites like Tin-der and Yik Yak. The hopes of an epic Cornell romance have been dimmed by swiping left and swiping right. We have it all at our fingertips making everything way too easy. Call me old-fashioned but I doubt love lies in the deep abysses of Pixel Alley or CTP. Courtship seems outdated compared to the ease of hooking up with your date at some formal or your “bae.”

21 HUMAN INTEREST

Or maybe electronics have real-ly ruined everything. We are all so obsessed with our iPhones and Facebooks to notice each other in class. Maybe we can attribute the dismal dating scene to ev-eryone being eternally stressed by schoolwork and the pressure of being here. Nobody has time for anything serious because we are all pulling all-nighters in Uris. Safety is another issue. Who can we trust on this campus when we get Crime Alert emails virtually every other night? My friends constantly tell me that college is the time to have fun and nothing serious could ever come out of my four years here. Maybe they are right.

But part of me wants tobelieve that they are wrong.

I see couples holding hands in the cold and they give me hope. Cornell’s dating life here can be revived if we all stop interacting virtually and start interacting personally. Let’s think of this as a manifesto. Let’s pick up our digni-ties from the cruddy Pixel dance-floor and court each other. Let’s be upfront about our feelings with one another instead of waiting around in the frustrating limbo of “Are we exclusive or not?” Let’s go on actual dates to the Farmer’s Market instead of waiting around for an invite to a date night. Let’s swap the late night “booty calls” for some daytime phone calls.

I still have some time left. We all have some time left to find that special someone here. In the meantime, you can find me at Lou-ie’s waiting for my cheeseburger with a side of Mr. Right.

The hopes of an epic

have been dimmed by swiping left and swiping right.

Cornell romance

HUMAN INTEREST 22

Between classes, prelims, and extra-curricular activities,

there’s barely any room to breath. The reality is that the life

of a college student is truly exhausting; the good news is we

are all going through it. It’s important to take a little time out of

your life, even if it’s only an hour a day, to destress from your

busy schedule and do something that truly makes you happy.

However, finding time to relax doesn’t have to feel like pro-

crastination, and it should never, ever feel like a chore. Taking

a break should be a way to revitalize and clear your mind so

you can tackle your next project with a much better attitude.

After all, your most important asset is yourself -and if you

can’t treat yourself well, how can you expect to accomplish

anything to the best of your abilities?

Luckily, Ithaca is one of the best places to unwind. From its cute

cafes to its acres of beautiful foliage, every corner of this town

seems to emulate that relaxing “Bon Iver” feeling. If you’re

new to Ithaca or simply want to try a new way to clear your

mind, here are some of my favorite ideas:

Go For a Hike Around the GorgesAs the saying goes, “Ithaca is Gorges!” With its much esteemed

waterscapes, Ithaca has more than enough to offer in terms of scenery. What better way to destress than enjoy the outdoors

and feel the fresh spray of water from the falls. My favorite

destination is the Taughannock Falls, but every gorge is just as

beautiful as the next when it comes to Ithaca.

Drink some Kava from the Kava BarHaving opened for business in Ithaca last May, the Mystic Wa-

ter Kava Bar in the commons is fairly new, but it holds the key

to relaxation. Kava is a tea made from a root grown in the

South Pacific Ocean that possesses true healing powers. One

cup is said to relieve anxiety, relax the body, and decrease

stress. For me, the effects of the tea were felt almost immedi-ately after consumption. They even feature a flavored Kava shot in addition to their plain option. If that isn’t enough to sell

you on the idea, the location itself is very peaceful and offers yoga and drumming classes.

Get a Massage On CampusOne of the most underrated facts about Cornell is that you can bursar massage services through Gannett. That’s right, all

you need is $60, 60 minutes, and an appointment, and you can

receive your very own massage therapy right on campus.

While it may not be the most financially feasible way to de-

stress every day, it makes for a great post-prelim treat.

Explore the PlantationsIf you’re looking for something to do on your own, explor-

ing the plantations is a great option. The gardens are open

seven days a week from sunrise to sunset, and admission is

completely free. I highly recommend bringing a camera or a

good book to enjoy when you find a particularly beautiful spot around the grounds. The park even offers a variety of tours, exhibits, and educational programs to check out.

Visit the Animals at Cornell’s Teaching BarnLocated past the parking lot behind Morrison Hall, the Teach-

ing and Research barns house arguably your biggest advo-

cates in stress-relief. From pigs to chickens to cows, the an-

imals at the barn are always willing to put a smile on your

face with their antics. Head up to the barn when class isn’t in

session, and you’ll feel the weight of school lift off your shoul-ders the moment you step in the cozy building.

Jacky Falkenberg

23 CAMPUS

101

Remember those high school weekends, where parties were awk-

ward, nightlife was pathetic, and Thirsty Thursdays barely existed?

Though fun at times, I can see now that they were nowhere near as ex-

citing as they could have been. They were the opposite of College week-

ends and Cornell nightlife.

1. Always stick with a buddy. It’s the safest precaution you can take. Plus,

you can always count on a friend to save you from the weird guy trying

to grind on you like you’re back at a middle school dance.

2. Don’t stick too close to a buddy. Yes, it’s important to be safe and not get

caught in an uncomfortable situation. However, I’ve found that some of

my best nights here have been when I kept a distant, yet watchful eye

on my friends, while roaming about the room meeting new faces. If you

want to make new friends, try not to spend the whole night clinging too

close to the ones you’re already comfortable with.

3. If your sorority or club has a date night or formal, be courageous and

ask your crush. Growing up at an all-girls school, I had the constant con-

flict of having to ask boys to my homecomings and proms, even though I knew so few of them. Since I had a limited pool of guys I actually felt

comfortable asking, I usually had to ask someone I did not know very

well. Now that I’m at Cornell, I have more options and a larger pool of

guys that I feel comfortable asking to a date night or formal; Still, I al-

ways remember that what made my school events so exciting was the

anticipation of getting to know someone new.

4. Try to hold back from the bar scene as much as possible in your first two years here. I’m not saying don’t go to bars--please do (if you are of

age). But if you go to bars too often, by the time you get to your junior

and senior years, when the bar scene really explodes, you’ll already

be bored (I mean, there are only three of them). If you hear of a friend’s

party or another social event, I would suggest going there over a Col-

legetown bar.

5. The more clubs you join, the greater chance you’ll find a group to so-

cialize with outside of your group of friends, sorority or hall mates. For

instance, I heard A Cappella groups have some killer parties. You might

want to learn how to sing before joining A Cappella, but if that just doesn’t

work for you, then at least try and go with a friend to one of his/her A

Cappella parties or join another club. Maybe you’re funny? If so, consider

joining one of Cornell’s premier comedy troupes; I’ve heard they throw

some great parties. Play any sports? Those teams offer a good balance of hard work and a fun time.

NIGHTLIFE Weekend nights at Cornell give students a time to

have some fun and relieve the previous week’s stress

(and man, can there be a lot of it). However, if you feel

that Cornell nightlife is not living up to your expecta-

tions, here is a list of tips to help you make the most of

each night before your time here is up:

Lindsay Cayne

CAMPUS 24

It does not matter how old you are, Cornell does not seem to get any smaller. While the intimidation of being 1 of the upwards of 14,000 undergraduate students here dwindles as the years go by, it never really goes away. Whether you’re suffering from boredom, loneliness, or the pressure to be an upstanding citizen who gets out of your house every once in a while, getting involved in something on campus can make this place seem even just a bit smaller. Here are a few ideas on how to get involved (and stay involved) at Cornell University. A little Q and A, shall we? Question: How do I choose?Answer: Think about what you are really passionate about, and then find it on Cornell’s campus. I promise it is here. Cornell has 75 “sport clubs,” over 400 alternate clubs, a wide range of community service opportunities run through the university and other local areas, and ac-tive Greek life, just to name some viable options. Question: I’ve chosen an activity! Can I have an-other? When should I stop?Answer: Don’t be a resume builder. You’ve just worked your way into the activity world, so take it slowly. Bring new things in one at a time and see how they work and

how you handle them, and go from there. Typically, stu-dents are not involved in more than three (Note to over-achievers: This is not a challenge, this is a statistic). Question: What if I want to quit, should I repress this feeling?Answer: If you really do not like it, then please quit. There are too many things for you to be involved in for you to waste your time doing something that you do not enjoy. But, if you still like it but struggle to maybe show up, feel motivated, or have fun, there are a few solutions: 1. Make some serious friends within your club. This will help you with attendance issues; 2. Coax your already-established friends to come to your activity. You’d be surprised how far an enthusiastic “I just found the best club ever!” can go; 3. Run for a position in the club. Being on the inside of your club can help you have more of a say in what you guys do and how things are run, which will make it more fun and worthwhile for you. I bid you happy hunting. Cornell may be huge, but find-ing the smaller communities will soon make it feel like home.

THE fragile balance ofBEING INVOLVEDBEING INVOLVED

Emily Tripodi

When did we decide to stop pouring buckets of ice on ourselves in the name of ALS? Was it before or after we donned ourselves in pink and hung ribbons everywhere in honor of Pinktober? Will I see the usual droves of un-shaven men pledging their allegiance to men’s health awareness this month? More importantly, will the fight against prostate cancer become irrelevant once again come December 1st? And when did Livestrong wrist-bands go out of style? Does that mean cancer awareness is out of style too? On top of all the ice buckets, pink products, and facial hair, we’ve descended into an Ebola-induced panic. With a whopping 3 cases and 1 death, the U.S. outbreak has be-come the country’s biggest health concern. Never mind your flu shot; influenza only kills about 3,000 people a year. Don’t bother banning cigarettes; they’re just the leading preventable cause of death in the United States. Exercise is overrated, too; in 2013, obesity was associated with nearly 1 in 5 deaths. Of course, there is no doubt that Ebola has become a legitimate health crisis in West Africa. As of October, the number of reported cases rose to 10,000, with a death toll of nearly 5,000. Taking these numbers into consideration,

safety precautions within the U.S. are not completely un-reasonable. Still, between newly appointed “Ebola czar” Ron Klain, sensible travel restrictions, and trained Ebola expeditionary teams, health officials seem to be taking care of it. But there may be a scarier, more immediate threat at hand. At the root of our hysteria, hidden behind all the pink paraphernalia and unruly mustaches, lies our big-gest problem: when it comes to health, we seem to have misplaced our priorities. That is not to say that these caus-es are anything less than amazing. Rather, our tendency to fight disease by “raising awareness” falls short in so many ways. A recent study compared death statistics from the 2011 CDC Report with the amount of money raised from a handful of charities. Turns out there is a large discrepan-cy between where we donate and the diseases that kill us. In 2011, breast cancer took 41,374 lives and heart dis-ease killed nearly 596,000 – but statistics show that char-ities raised over 257 million dollars for breast cancer and only 54 million dollars for heart disease. Our donations correspond to social trends rather than necessity.

RAISING AWARENESS OUR STANDARDSRAISING AWARENESS OUR STANDARDSJESSICA SION

CAMPUS 26

In high school, many of us were a part of some type of com-munity service organization or at the very least volun-teered for worthy causes. These causes were worthwhile and made us feel good about ourselves. I was a part of Key Club, a branch of Kiwanis, that was committed to helping my local community as well as fundraise for national charities supported by Kiwanis. I was also a volunteer for the Special Olympics. Volunteering for the latter tru-ly changed my perspective on volunteering and I learned that in the end, I was gaining a lot more from helping oth-ers than they were gaining from me. Today, I am still an active volunteer for both Kiwanis and Special Olympics (when I am home), however, I find that I tend to get wrapped up in school and may choose to do something else over studying. With all the studying, par-tying, and general stress college life brings about, it’s sometimes hard to get outside of the bubble and remem-ber that there are problems bigger than realizing you’ve made it to your last pair of socks and need to do laundry. I am guilty of choosing the laundry over going to a worthy cause, but I try to make an active effort to volunteer at least once a week.

If you’re feeling as though you want to give back to the community, but just aren’t sure where to begin or do not know what is available, fear not! Thankfully, Cornell pro-vides students with an array of opportunities to give back to the community. Below I will describe just a few of the many volunteering opportunities Cornell provides. 1. Cornell Circle KCircle K is the collegiate branch of Kiwanis Internation-al. This club works with the Salvation Army, Loaves and Fishes, YMCA, and the Tompkins County library to provide any assistance these organizations may need. Volunteers often serve at the soup kitchen helping to prepare food and serve it and clean up. At the library volunteers have been particularly involved in the adopt a shelf program that involves keeping shelves in order of the dewey deci-mal system. Circle K meets on Mondays in Stimson G1 and is always welcoming new members.

2. Cornell Public Service CenterThe Cornell Public Service Center has a variety of clubs and service organizations under its name. Just a few of the programs are listed below and more information can

be found on http://www.psc.cornell.edu/· Alternative Breaks-- Alternative Breaks is an orga-nization that conducts service trips during Spring Break. These trips occur in New York City, Cape Cod, and other places. These trips aim to promote awareness of the prob-lem and provide help to the communities.· Cornell Elderly Partnership (CEP)-- The Cornell Elderly Partnership is an organization that aims to connect Cornell students with elderly members of the community living in nursing homes. CEP visits are on Fridays and Saturdays. · Students Against the Sexual Solicitation of Youth (SASSY)-- Aims to promote awareness of the problem of sexually exploited youth by conduction workshops, show-ing informational films, and facilitating discussion.

3. Alpha Phi Omega (APO)APO is a national collegiate service fraternity. The Gam-ma chapter at Cornell currently has over 300 members that provide a variety of services to both Cornell and the Ithaca community. Activities include reading buddies or soccer sundays where volunteers spend time with chil-dren. Volunteers also help at the Salvation Army, and send cards to soldiers amonf other volunteer work. For more information visit http://apogamma.org/

4. Friends of FarmworkersFriends of Farmworkers aims to provide tutoring to mi-grant farmworkers in the area as well as bring atten-tion to the circumstances of the farmers in the region. For more information please contact cornellfof@gmail.com

5. Youth Outreach Undergraduates Reshaping Success (Y.O.U.R.S.)a Public Service center outreach program, this organiza-tion helps minors ages 7 to 17 have opportunities for lead-ership, self-esteem building, and life-skill learning. Volun-teers must attend one of three programs offered during the week. For more information contact http://rso.cornell.edu/oursandyours/ Please consider giving back by either joining one of the mentioned organizations, or by finding another out-let for service. In the words of Mahatma Gandhi, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

Ashley Chacon

GO

TSERVICE?SERVICE?

the many ways to give back at cornell

25 CAMPUS

“FAR ABOVE CAYUGA’S WATERS”

CORNELL CELEBRATES

150 YEARS150 YEARS Faculty, students, and your parents have mentioned it. De-nise Cassaro has bombarded you with emails about it. That’s right, I’m talking about Cornell’s Sesquicentennial. Aside from being a huge word that nobody can spell or say right, the ses-quicentennial marks the 150th anniversary of the charter that established Cornell University. It is a celebration of Cornell’s achievements through the university itself and its individu-al students and alumni. “There are so many reasons why we should celebrate Cornell. From its supportive, community-like atmosphere to the relationships that will last a lifetime, the Cornell experience is truly one-of-a-kind”, sophomore Emma Nagel comments. It is also a commemoration of the institution and a way to honor its heritage.

The history behind Cornell is quite intriguing, and something that Cornell students and alumni should know more about. [[[Some key events in Cornell’s history are: April 27th 1865,

when A.D. White and Ezra Cornell won the passage of the bill that charters

Cornell as a land-grant educa-tional institution for New

York and the university is founded, October 7th

1868, when Cornell University—orig-

inally divided in two parts (the Division of Spe-cial Sciences and Arts, and the Division of Science, Liter-ature, and the Arts )—op ens and A.D. White becomes Cor-nell’s first presi-

dent, 1909, when the graduate de-

partment became the graduate school,

and 1933, when it was first referred to as an

“ivy” in a New York Times article.]]]

Sarah Peters, class of 2015, exclaims, “I love Cornell because it’s gorges. It’s so pretty

here: it just makes me happy.”

Cornell has also been the home of many achievements in many different disciplines. In 1881, Moises Coit Tyler became the first professor of American history in the United States and, decades later, Otto Kinkeldey became the first professor of musicology at an American university. Researchers at Cor-nell have developed some of the first cancer tests and led the way for environmental research. Alumni have won Pulitzer and Nobel Prizes, as well as the Stanley Cup and NHL MVP awards. “I love feeling empowered by the peers, professors and community around me to achieve anything I put my mind to. It might sound cliche but I really feel like I can accomplish anything here”, Alicia Glick, class of 2017, adds. It is impossible to state all of the amazing contributions Cornell alumni have offered.

So how should you be celebrating the 150th anniversary of the amazing place we students are fortunate enough to call home? It is truly a year of celebration, with a number of events in America and throughout the world: this way, no matter where alumni are today, they can celebrate their Cornellian pride and the Cornell community can be united. The festivities started in September in New York City with the Empire State building glowing red and white in spirit of Cornell, moving on to Ithaca one month later for Homecoming celebrations. Upcoming events will take place alll around the world, from Washington D.C., Hong Kong, and Boston, to West Palm Beach, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and London. There will also be a huge celebration on April 24th-27th at Cornell. The celebration, also known as Charter Day weekend, will include a variety of events intended to commemorate the signing of the bill that established Cornell University’s charter in 1865 - ranging from famous alumni speakers like Bill Nye and Steve Squyres to a Gala Concert featuring Cornell’s chorus, glee club, and symphony orchestra.

Ezra Cornell wanted Cornell to be “… an institution where any person can find instruction in any study.” Throughout the past 150 years, Cornell has fulfilled this request by making many courses available to students who can and cannot afford the university. It is not only an institution of learning and knowl-edge, but has also become a second home for so many students and alumni. It is a place where students find themselves, get inspired, and learn how to achieve their dreams. Alumni Silvie Cohen, class of 2014, adds, “Cornell is the most beautiful place on earth filled with the most beautiful people on the in-side and out. Even the worst of days are the happiest of days at Cornell, because it is such a magical place.” Being a part of the Cornell community gives one a sense of pride that not all universities have. Once a Cornellian, always a Cornellian.

Elani Cohen

27 CAMPUS

At some point in your time at Cornell you might have pondered what life would be like if things here were just a tad different. As winter settles in and prelims pile up, find myself asking “what if…” 1. We had warm weather?The beautiful autumn leaves have shed from their trees. Tears fall from your eyes as you wait outside for the next TCAT. You feel like you would do just about anything to get a seat on that bus. It’s seriously questionable as to whether or not you are developing seasonal affective disorder. Does the sun even exist here? Oh how we love you, Shitaca. But imagine a campus where the sun is always shin-ing, you wear sunglasses to class, you can keep your tan past September, and you can sit on the slope year-round. Sorry, but I think Ithaca would actually be gorges. 2. We went to football gamesFootball means school spirit. School spirit means tailgates. Tailgates mean day drinking. Day drinking means less time to do work. Don’t worry, this will never happen at Cornell because we’re all a bunch of nerds. 3. We didn’t have gym requirements I signed up for weekend massage. I initially signed up with my friend so I wouldn’t have to massage a random person (because that would be really creepy and awkward). Unfortunately, my friend bailed and now I’m alone. This wouldn’t be happening if we didn’t have gym requirements. And don’t get me started about the TA’s in some of the gym classes. They go out of their way to make sure you’re exerting as much energy as possible. 4. We didn’t have to take a swim testThe swim test was one of my most entertaining experiences at Cornell thus far and helped reaffirm my amazing athletic abilities. I think I was the only girl not wearing goggles, earplugs and a nosepiece. And I think I was one of the few peo-ple that passed the test. Yes, it’s true - some people don’t pass. 5. Bars were open later than the librariesThe bar scene at Cornell is quite sad. I mean, Pixel is a poor excuse for a bar. It’s actually a whole in the wall. And then, to top it off, the entire alleyway is devoted to this place. “Where’s your apartment?”...“Pixel Alley”...”You must rage so hard at pixel all the time.”

Said no one ever. 6. Prelims didn’t existSome people refer to the start of prelims as “prelim season.” But I’m pretty sure prelim season never ends…(add more to this?) Although you may find yourself asking “what if...” when you can’t feel your feet on the way to class, or when you have three prelims in one week, your Cor-nell experience would not be the same without the freezing snow or the break-fast burrito from the farmers market. Cornell pride’s itself on its unique, cultural community and sometimes you just have sit back, relax and take it all in.

CORNELLCORNELLwould be like if...

what

95%

49 Days below freezing/year in ithaca

of freshmen pass their swim test the first time

ZOE FORSTER

CAMPUS 28

I know that I’m not the first to say it, but I love college. I adore the fact that I can do nothing in the middle of the day and that I live thirty seconds away from my friends. Howev-er, despite my newfound freedom, I, and many like me, felt a void in our hearts once we arrived on campus. This can only be explained by one thing: the absence of our cats.

Without Creamsicle, my kitty at home, I have turned to the internet to keep felines in my life. Yet videos of Maru the Japanese cat and his boxes, kittens falling asleep, and all the memes Reddit can provide just aren’t the same as cuddling with my little buddy before I go to sleep.

October 29th was National Cat Day, and, in my personal opinion, the best day of the year. At school, I find myself miss-ing the days when I would find cat hair on my clothing, for the fluffy white fur on my black leggings meant that I got to cuddle with Creamy. No more than one week into my first se-mester here, I had decided that I would be getting a cat of my own the second my living situation permitted it, and Ithaca is not short of furry friends looking for homes. If you’ve ever been to Collegetown at night, you may have seen one of the many stray kitties roaming around the streets, looking for love.

One night, I was spending time with some friends around Insomnia Cookies (Chocolate Chunk is the best, and I am right), and what did we find? The most adorable white kitty you’ve ever seen in your life. Scooter instantly became my best friend and he and I cuddled all night. The next morning, a friend and I drove him to the Ithaca Tompkins SPCA and he’s now up for adoption along with so many other amazing animals in need of homes. Saying goodbye to Scooter was one of the few times in my life when in literally “couldn’t even.” I’d never truly been alone before I came to Cornell, even as an only child, because I’d had a cat.

So what does this have to do with you? Or Cornell? Or anything other than me and my bizarre love for the feline species? Although I encourage those of you who are able to take a leap of faith and get out there to give an animal, cat or not, a home for the rest of their lives, I realize that it may be difficult for many to commit to keeping an an-imal in college. However, upon extensive investigation, I can confidently claim that Cornell is an environment well-suited to current or potential cat parents. Those with feline friends can take advantage of multiple services to make caring for them much easier. If you’re not sure if you can afford to keep a cat here at school, it might ease your mind to know that the Cornell Feline Health Center offers Patient Assistance, designed to help pet owners pay their veterinary bills. You can also subscribe to CatWatch, the Cornell College of Veterinary Medicine’s monthly news-letter that aims to keep the cat lover on campus informed about a variety of issues relating to feline health. Further, if you’re worried about leaving your cat alone while heading home for the weekend or a short break, there’s always the Bed and Biscuit, a local kennel complete with “cat condos far, far away from the doggies,” just fifteen minutes away from campus. So if you’re on the fence about bringing a fluffy ball of love into your life, remember this: the cuddles are endless, the cuteness is off the charts, and Cornell will be there to help you every step of the way.

Decided to adopt a kitty? Check out all the available darlings at the Ithaca

Tompkins SPCA!http://www.spcaonline.com/index.php/

adoption/cats

Zoe Zaneteas

CAMPUSCATSCAMPUSCATS

29 HUMOR

ObjectiveTo land some sort of vaguely respectable job so the debt from paying for my college education feels somewhat worth it.

EducationCornell University 2014•Major: Something that may or may not be relevant to this job, so I’m going to hit you with one of my unique special skills to separate me from the crowd. •GPA: A number calculated through my own special weighting system that discounts classes I did badly in•Klout Score: 40 (Come on, I’m not famous… what do you expect)

ExperienceIntern at Impressive Finance Job 2014•My dad’s friend owed him, so I got placed in a competitive job without showing my resume while my friends got rejected after doing three rounds of interviews - isn’t life great? #Nepotism4ever•Facilitated office communication through managing and completing employee coffee orders.

Personal Social Media Manager 2008-Present•Actively manage my personal Twitter and Instagram accounts •Boosted followers by 30 percent after incorporating #blessed into more photos •The Applebee’s Twitter favorited one of my tweets.

A Handful of Minimum Wage Jobs I Will Attempt to Make Seem Relevant 2007•Working a cash register can transfer over to high stakes job in the finance industry

Camp Counselor 2006 •In charge of kinda keeping track of some kids, and all of the crafts involving string •Provided multiple network opportunities (How I met my freshman roommate: My camp friend friend’s sister’s mom’s cat’s breeder)

Babysitter 2001-Present•I’ve watched my little siblings a couple of times •Avoiding fire while making them Mac & Cheese 5/6 times

Honors•Recipient of 4 gold stars in a row (Mrs. Applebee’s homeroom: 5th Grade) •Dean’s List (6th Grade, and First Semester of 7th) •Most Enthusiastic Player Award (Hopscotch, 8th Grade)•My dentist once told me I had the healthiest gums out of all his patients•Lambda Alpha Lambda Sweetheart (2013)

Skills•Dodging the Listservs of the 134 clubs I arbitrarily signed up for at Club Fest•Graphic Design (Microsoft Paint bows down to ME) •Microsoft Office (Duh, I’ve been using this since birth #MillenialProbs)•Multitasking (I can eat cheetos while watching Netflix and almost get no cheese dust on my keyboard)•Bilingual (can count to ten in Spanish)

Random Personrp269@cornell.edu (555)555-5555

Kik: lives2rage Myspace: Randomgirlrandomworld~*

Facebook: privacy settings on LinkedIn: Random Person Twitter: @randomtwittagal

Flickr: @rndmflickrgal Vimeo: randomcinematographur

HUMOR 30