skirt! magazine november 2011

C o nve r s at i o n s

with Computers

Cover copy by Nikki Hardin, Art by Nuno Da Costa

You Were Calling.

“Can we talk?”

Joan Rivers

skirt!isfree!www.skirt.com

novemberAugusta, Aiken & Columbia

Press 1 if you know your password. • Press

2 if you can’t verify you exist. • Press 3

if you’re lonely. • Press 4 to hear more

commercials while you hold. • Press 5 to

return to the Main Menu. • Press 6 if you

know your party’s extension. • Press 7

if you no longer have any idea who

Press 8 if this is an emergency, not just

you needing to get a cat out of a tree.

Press 9 if you don’t believe your message

is very important to us. • Press 10 if you

missed your flight while you were on hold.

Press 11 if your call has been transferred

incorrectly and then press 5 to return to

the Main Menu. • Press 12 if you’ve been

disconnected more than twice. • Press 13

if you’ve lost all hope. • Press 14 to take

our Customer Service survey. Your opinion

is very important to us. • Press 15 if your

problem no longer seems to matter in the

existentia l scheme of things.

Columbia/Augusta/Aiken

holidays at pout

2850 Devine St, Columbia South Carolina 803.254.5051 www.shoppout.com

VISIT US ON FACEBOOK

Don’t pout because you didn’t get what you wanted this year.Fill out a POUT Wish List, bring it in and we’ll let them know exactly what to shop for

or email your wish list and whom to contact to [email protected]

Wish List:

Name: ______________________________________ Contact: ________________________________

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skirt.comskirt! is published monthly and

distributed free throughout the greater Augusta/Aiken/

Columbia area. skirt! reserves the right to refuse to sell space for any advertisement the staff

deems inappropriate for the publication. Unsolicited manuscripts

must be accompanied by a self-addressed, stamped envelope.

Letters to the editor are welcome, but may be edited due to space limitations. Press releases must

be received by the 1st of the month for the following month’s

issue. All content of this magazine, including without limitation the

design, advertisements, art, photos and editorial content, as well as the selection, coordination and

arrangement thereof, is Copyright © 2010, Morris Publishing Group,

LLC. All Rights Reserved. No portion of this magazine may be copied or reprinted without the

express written permission of the publisher. SKIRT!® is a registered

trademark of Morris Publishing Group, LLC.

skirt! is all about women...

their work, play, families,

creativity, style, health and

wealth, bodies and souls.

skirt! is an attitude...spirited,

independent, outspoken,

serious, playful and irreverent,

sometimes controversial,

always passionate.

sheMAILskirt! 127-A 7th Street Augusta, GA 30901 Sales: 706.823.3373Sales Toll-Free: 800.622.6358FAX: 706.823.6083

www.skirt.com

about skirt!Publisher

Nikki Hardin [email protected]

National Art Director Caitilin McPhillips

[email protected]

National EditorMargaret Pilarski

[email protected]

Market Manager

(Augusta/Aiken/Columbia)

Kate Cooper Metts

[email protected]

Contributing Editor Columbia

Jenny Maxwell

[email protected]

Contributing Editor Augusta/Aiken

Gracie Shepherd

[email protected]

Sales Executives Libby Salvador

[email protected]

Susan Eaker [email protected]

Graphic Designer

Cher WheelerMeaghan Pafford

PhotographyMolly HarrellChris Thelen

Nov

embe

rEssays

Chopped Liver

Risa Nye ......................................................................................... 13

Talking To Myself

Danita Berg .................................................................................... 14

Mincing Words

Stephanie Hunt ........................................................................... 22

Confessions

Stacy Appel .................................................................................... 32

theConversation issue

Features

Letter from the Publisher ......................................................... 6

Letter from the Editor ............................................................... 6

Feel Good ...................................................................................... 10

He’s So Original .......................................................................... 26

Skirt of the Month..................................................................... 39

F-Word ............................................................................................. 36

Survival Guide .............................................................................. 16

Meet ................................................................................................... 31

Planet Nikki .................................................................................... 42

Women make more than 80% of all purchasing

decisions.

Women spend almost 2 of every 3

healthcare dollars.

Women control 2/3

of the nation’s disposable income.

Women influence 80%of all car sales.

Women make more than 85% of all purchasing

decisions.

Women spend almost 2 of every 3

healthcare dollars.

Women control 2/3

of the nation’s disposable income.

Women influence 80%of all car sales.

4 november 2011 www.skirt.com

November 2011

T h e C o n v e r s a t i on

I ss

ue

Some of the most important

conversations we have in life are the ones we hold

with ourselves.

www.skirt.com november 2011 5

From the Publisher

Gracie [email protected]

From the Editor

There is a Chinese proverb that says a single conversation with a wise person is worth a month’s

study of books. This month honors women who are good at talking, and as I met with the ones I

interviewed, I walked away wiser. As a writer, I have a lot of conversations. While each one doesn’t

necessarily change my life, I have had some of the best conversations in my life with people I almost

didn’t even talk to. The women we profiled this month are where they are today because of their

attention to people and issues others might overlook—from LGBT students who were being bullied

to investigative journalism pieces that keep public officials accountable to the taxpayers who pay their

salaries. Their hard work and dedication have made me more committed to bring fewer expectations

to the conversations I have from now on. I hope you enjoy reading about the women we have

written about, and approach your conversations this month as a chance to gain wisdom, even from

sources you might not anticipate.

Nikki [email protected]

theConversation issue

Blah blah blah

I believe with all the fervor of a Luddite that technology has eroded our ability

to connect face to face, and yet I am as addicted to my iPhone as anyone I

know. Particularly to texting, in which nothing very meaningful or lengthy can

be said. It’s the quickie, the one-night stand of conversation. Short and sweet,

easily erased from memory. Like the instant gratification of downloading books

to my Kindle, texting provides instant communication, a way to stay in touch

and yet be private and untouchable at the same time. Even better is being able

to abbreviate interaction by tapping out messages in Future Speak, in which

complete sentences, articles, capitalization and punctuation have been jettisoned

in favor of 21st century hieroglyphics (u r 1NAM). As an introvert who tends

to freeze up in difficult conversations or confrontations, texting is just 2G2BT.

Face to face, I can’t tap out a shorthand for “I’m falling in love with you and it

scares me,” or “You have hurt me so deeply I want to drive a nail in your head,”

so I often swallow my words rather than reveal too much. But no matter how

difficult it can be for me to get naked in a conversation, I know it’s better than

retreating to a kind of impassive Morse Code to signal an emotional shootout at

the O.K. Corral. I miss the edgy possibility of intensity, the whole-body vibration

of involvement, the exhilaration of a back-and-forth volley that comes with

in-person conversation. Without the possibility of intensity or emphasis, I find

myself resorting to the dreaded multiple exclamation marks simply to signal my

availability for a lunch date or schedule a meeting. I mourn the loss of tone of

voice and the nagging feeling that email and texting are chipping away at my

ability to write true sentences. But I’ll worry about all that L8R; in the meantime,

I need to upgrade to the 4S iPhone that makes texting even easier.

US!VISIT

The United Skirts of America

The United Skirts of

America was founded

on the blood, sweat

and estrogen of our

foremothers, who

won us the freedom

to choose...to break

The Rules, to wear

combat boots or high

heels, to run for office

or run a marathon,

to form our own

rock groups instead

of being groupies, to

shatter Glass Ceilings

and Glass Slippers, to

shoot hoops instead

of settling for hoop

skirts. The ones who

came before us made

it possible for our

daughters to dream

bigger, to have the

chance to grow up to

be President and turn

the Oval Office into

the Ovary Office. In

the United Skirts of

America, every day is

Independence Day!

Cover ArtistNuno Da Costa

Nuno Da Costa is a London-

based, self-taught illustrator spe-

cializing in fashion and beauty

imagery. Nuno’s illustrations fall

mainly in two categories, color

and black and white brush

work but always retain their

up-to-the-minute sense of style.

His illustrations are hand-drawn

and painted with water colors

and gouache and then scanned,

retouched and painted in Pho-

toshop. Having worked with

top fashion creatives, Nuno’s

illustrations have been seen

in Vogue, Wonderland and The

Daily Telegraph. Nuno was also

appointed as exclusive fashion

illustrator to designer Melissa

Odabash on her first Ready to

Wear collection.


Painting Americathe Beautiful

“grand and glorious”-The FortWorth Star-Telegram

“a rapturous encounter”-The Boston Globe

“remarkable”-The NewYorkTimes

November 19, 2011 - April 1, 2012

Nature and the GrandAmericanVision:Masterpieces of the Hudson River School Painters

Special Exhibition Presented by the Blanchard Family

Organized by the New-York Historical SocietySupported by an indemnity from the Federal Council on the Arts and the Humanities

Thom

asCo

le(American,1801-1848)C

atskillCreek,N.Y.,1845,(detail)TheRobertL.StuartCo

llection,S-157

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No television or videos for children under two years old. That’s the advice from the American Acad-emy of Pediatrics because studies suggest it could harm a child’s language develop-ment. Instead, the Academy urges parents to talk to their children and facilitate indepen-dent play rather than allowing them to watch programs passively on any kind of screen.

When Brad Gruno, founder and creator of Brad’s Raw Chips, discovered the health benefits of eating raw, the one thing he really missed was the crunch of a good snack. Brad began making raw chips in his kitchen to satisfy that craving. Our favorite is Nasty Hot dried kale that includes red bell pepper, cashews, sunflower seeds, lemon juice, jalapeño pepper, nutritional yeast, Himalayan sea salt, cayenne pepper.

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My mother’s trembly,

slurred speech was the first clue of what

was to come.

MINCING

Stephanie Hunt


Stephanie Hunt is a writer in Mount Pleasant, SC. Read more at alifestill.com or stephaniehuntwrites.com.

Mincing Words

Her words were the first to go, the initial loss of many losses, and now, as I clean out her home of 23 years, I find them everywhere. Words, phrases, sentences sometimes, occasionally short paragraphs, but mostly non sequiturs. Often re-quests or questions—“crush pills” or “bring wallet,” followed by stray comments: “too funny,” “not sure,” “had it once,” “see what you think.” Strings of words scrawled by weak, uncooperative fingers—you could flip the notepad pages and see her pristine, tight cursive becoming more and more unraveled and hard to read. Snippets of conversation left hither and yon—on notepads in her bedroom, on the backs of envelopes by the kitchen sink. Scribbled, untethered utterances, dangling participles, dangling modifiers that now leave dangling memories.

My mother’s trembly, slurred speech was the first clue of what was to come. Early on when she was becoming increasingly hard to understand during Sunday evening phone calls, we wondered if maybe she was having a second, or third, glass of wine in the evening. Her words on point and appropriate, only she could not articulate them, like Colin Firth with his mouth crammed full of marbles in The King’s Speech, ironically the last movie we ever went to see together. “Spasmodic dysphonia” was the otolaryngologist’s quick diagnosis. Think Katherine Hepburn’s gravelly warble. Nothing terribly serious, a little Botox (to the voice box) and things might get better and should not get much worse. If only he had been right.

When she went for the workup and evaluation before the Botox treatment, a neurologist suggested further testing, then several doctor visits, tests and weeks later, the diagnosis shifted from dysphonia to something more dys-everything. Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis—hard to wrap your tongue around even if your tongue and mouth work fine. ALS, Lou Gehrig’s disease—even harder to wrap your mind around. “What? ALS is when your legs fail, when you lose arm strength. That can’t be right—Mom’s fine, she’s strong, it’s just something with her voice.” Then we quickly learned the bleak statistics: ALS affects 30,000 Ameri-cans, about 5,000 diagnosed each year, 10 percent of whom present with loss of speech and swallowing. Ninety percent of them die within two to five years.

Neither my two sisters nor I lived near my mother, who went to her follow-up doctor visit on her own the day he gave her the final diagnosis. “One of the hardest conversations I’ve had. I hated that she had to hear that by herself,” her gentle doctor told me later on the phone. But he also didn’t want to make her anxious for a week leading up to the appointment, which she would have been, had he suggested that she “bring someone with her.”

That was the first of what would be many difficult conversations. I still ache with sadness when I imagine her at the bustling Baptist Medical Center, getting that news by herself, when I think of what her 25-minute drive home must have been like. And I can’t even remember now how she eventually relayed the diag-nosis to us—I’ve blocked it out. But I clearly remember so many conversations that would follow in the next year and a half. Long phone calls to her doctor and Theresa, his perpetually reassuring nurse with her smiley Southern accent. A talk during Thanksgiving with all of us around my breakfast table, trying to get a sense of Mom’s end-of-life wishes—did she want to stay at home, move somewhere, if so where?—all the logistical whats/wheres/hows that we needed to know but didn’t want to talk about, but still were easier to broach than the emotional elephant in the room. And hilarious phone chats with Mom when she was still valiantly trying to speak but I could only decipher every second word. It was like a game of audio charades, in a foreign language. “You went where yesterday? To get film developed? To find mmm-what? To form mag-nets?? Oh…to the farmers market!”

When she’d lost all speaking ability, email became a lifeline. We tried vari-ous other technological toys—the cumbersome, horrid DynaVox that cost a fortune and blurted out phrases in halting, monotone computereze, the sleek iPad with its 99 cent “SpeakIt!” app that we thought would be a godsend (she got a real kick out of typing in “Go to hell why don’t you?” and choosing to “say” it in a snappy British accent—Mom as Emma Thompson). But the low-tech pen on paper, in the end, proved to be her best communication device. Even so, there was always disconnect between what Mom clearly could hear herself say in her head and her inability to say it. She’d start to speak before realizing it was useless, that she had to write it down. Rarely did she ever grab pen and paper first.

And so we are left with trails of words. Notepads and notebooks scattered throughout her house, in her purses and pockets, in crevices of her car. Minced words, mysterious words, always only one side of the conversation, words that baffle because I have no idea who was there visiting when she wrote them or in what context they fit, and words that bemuse—her sense of humor intact till the very end. As we clean out her home, I readily make Goodwill piles of raincoats, knickknacks, Tupperware, but the handwritten notes I cannot toss. They are scattered crumbs, and I am Gretel trying to follow them, to listen for my mother’s voice, to find my way home.

Purchase your tickets now at jlaugusta.org,by calling 706.736.0033,

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The Junior Leagueof Augusta, Georgia

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This fun event is for all the ladies in the CSRA.Includes live music, hors d’oeuvres providedby the area’s top restaurants and caterers,

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includes a visit with Santa, photo session,picture CD, activities, a special treat, and a day of

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Morris Museum of Art

1 Tenth St. I Augusta, GA 30901 I 706-724-7501 I www.themorris.org

Save the DateThursday, January 26, 6:00–8:30 p.m. | Exhibition Closing: Local Color: Photography in the South

Southern artists William Greiner and Meryl Truett discuss their photographs included in the exhibition. Afterwards, enjoy conversation

with the artists and heavy hors d´oeuvres. Members, free; nonmembers, $5.00. RSVP to 706-706-724-7501.

Top Right: William Greiner, Apple Tag on Tree, Mandeville, Louisiana, 1995. Top Left: Greg Kinney, Construction Site, New Orleans, La., 1979.

All images courtesy of the artists. Collection of the Morris Museum of Art, Augusta, Georgia.

The Morris is Free on Sundays!

O p e n i n g N o v e m b e r 1 2

f-word[ Feminism Free-For-All ]

It’s been 91 years since

women won the right to

vote across the coun-

try, and yet after nearly

a century, women still

make up only 17% of

Congress and 23% of

state legislatures. And

the numbers are falling—

in 2011, the number of

women in state legisla-

tures fell to its lowest

level since 2007.

Who says feminists don’t have a sense of humor? We

can’t stop laughing at feministryangosling.tumblr.com

and in the process, laughing at ourselves.

The Nobel Peace Prize this year went to three women who are working for peace and women’s rights in Liberia and Yemen: Liberian President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, Liberian peace activist Leymah Gbowee, and Yemeni protest leader Tawakkul Karman. Despite the dangers (authorities in male-dom-inated Yemeni society tried to silence Karman by sending threats and even vowed to kill her and kidnap her children and throw them from a mountain), these women kept their eyes on the prize and persevered.

Brianna Amat was not only the first girl to make the Pinckney Community High School varsity football team at her high school in Michi-gan, but she was also voted homecoming queen within an hour of making a winning field goal against a rival team on the same night. Instead of wearing a dress like the other girls in the homecoming court, Brianna was wearing her No. 12 uniform when the tiara was placed on her head at halftime.

Marcia Anderson was promoted from brigadier

general to major general, becoming the first

African-American woman given a second star

as a general in the U.S. Army. Her most recent

post was as deputy commanding general of the

Human Resources Command at Fort Knox. At her

promotion ceremony, Lt. Gen. Benjamin Freakley,

Fort Knox Commander, told Anderson she is “a

role model, not only to me and those that worked

with you, but to countless soldiers.”

Rape

Football QueenFreedom Fighters

Feminist Fellow

Female Forces


Dr. RonEakerofWomen’sHealthofAugusta

talks aboutheavyperiods and their treatment.

• Does your period affect your quality of life?• Are your periods heavy or do they last a long time?• Would your quality of life improve if you could decrease or

potentially eliminate your heavy periods?• Do your heavy periods affect your social, athletic or sexual

activities or cause you to miss work?• Do you change protection frequently or carry large quantities

of feminine products and/or a change of clothes?• Do your heavy periods cause anxiety, PMS, or pain?

If you are absolutely sure that you never want to have any children in the future, and would like to stop yourheavy period and restart your life, NovaSure® Endometrial Ablation may be right for you.

NovaSure® Endometrial Ablation is a simple procedure trusted by over one million women -without hormones or hysterectomy.

• It can be done in a doctor’s office or as an outpatient in the hospital• The entire procedure typically takes less than 5minutes• It is performed without any incisions• Most women report little or no pain, and return to their regular activities within a day

2258Wrightsboro Rd. Suite 400 (next to Trinity Hospital)New patients mention this ad and get a free copy of Dr.Eaker’s new book“Healthy Habits for a Fit Family”

For more information or to see if an endometrial ablation is right for you call

Dr. Eaker at 706-733-4427.

O F A U G U S T A2258Wrightsboro Rd. Suite 400 (next to Trinity Hospital)

patients mention this ad and get a free copy of Dr.Eaker’s new book“Healthy Habits for a Fit Family”

O F A U G U S T AWomen’s Health

One in five women live with very heavy periods. Periods that get in the way of everydaylife. Periods that keep you from the people you love and the things you enjoy. NovaSure®

is a one-time, 5-minute procedure that can lighten - or end your heavy period - withouton-going pills and without hormonal side effects. For over 90% of women, menstrual

bleeding is dramatically reduced or stopped.

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be a candi-date for a uterine ablation.

For one weekend everything else can wait.Let your hair down and unwind on a girls’getaway.

Contact: Janet Wheatley at 800.491.1764 or [email protected]

Overnight packages start at just

$140per person.

Indulge this November 18-20at Hickory Knob.


SoHo435 Highland Ave.

Augusta706.736.4310

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Nikki Hardin is the founder and publisher of skirt! magazine. She blogs at fridaville.com. Nikki Hardin is the founder and publisher of skirt! magazine. She blogs at fridaville.com.

planetnikki[ a v i s u a l j o u r n a l ]

Sunday spinning class, crossing the bridge,

to “Hopelessly Devoted to You,” loudly and hopelessly off key.

myself to write it down as a reminder for

One of those moments of irrational happiness in which you

harbor and white sails below, blue sky

Driving downtown for an

early

Making a promise to

when life seems all gray

tOneS.

and the lingering white after-image of the moon above,

singing along with Olivia newton-John

actually realize and acknowledge how happy you are.

A friend found this platter in the Anthropologie store in London and gave it to me for my birthday. Its Gauguin-y look is destined for the wall in my bedroom so I can dream of Tahiti this winter.

On constant replay: “Laura” by Julie London. Sad, haunting, noir-ish. It suits my mood right now.

My new favorite journal is Le Labo’s notebook handcrafted in France. With its smoky, leathery character, it only gets better looking with use. If you scratch the cover, a tiny whiff of their cult fragrance, Santal 26, is released.


2734 Devine Street, Columbia, South Carolina 803.252.4339 www.shopvanjean.com

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Notte by Marchesa J Brand ADAM Rebecca Taylor Kenneth Jay Lane

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skirt! magazine november 2011

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