&4'$4#*+/-#....:Mokaafaat badee kardan halaal ast, cho bee jorm az kasee aazordah baashee; badee baa oo rawaa baashad wa lykin nekooyee kon k baa khod karda baashee. It is permissible for you to retaliate with evil when you are hurt without any fault of yours; but if you do good instead, you will be doing good to yourself. Freedom of speech is the freedom of expression, whether oral or written, which need not be classified as libel, slander or incitement to riot. However, the freedom of speech that prevails today with complete unrestricted expression has led to infringement of our rights as well as the rights of some other communities. It has also antagonised some of our religious beliefs and institutions, e.g. Islam does not permit gay marriages but gay associations are operating with impunity in many countries flooding the world with their propaganda. Freedom of speech now allows us to mismanage our own affairs as well as those of the society. The freedom of speech is more destructive than the freedom of thought. If someone is mistaken while exercising the freedom of thought, only the individual himself is at risk. But if he exercises the freedom of speech wrongly, he puts welfare of the society at stake, which is unbecoming of a good Muslim because Muslim is one from whose hands and tongue other Muslims are safe, (adth: Al-Bukhri, Muslim). Some people who can restrain their mind can also manipulate, modify and change their thoughts to more acceptable ones. In case an undesirable thought recurs often and becomes annoying, an easy way out is to recall and recite some verses of the Holy Quran. It diverts the mind to more secure and pleasant avenues. We should always remember that freedom of speech could either be a wrong one where a man is free to say and do what he likes; or the correct one, where he is free to CHAPTER IV : Relationship between man and Allah 337 say, but do only what he needs and ought to do. Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong. In the name of human rights, we should not behave inhumanly towards others. Injury caused by the tongue is worse than that of a knife since the latter heals in a few days but that of the word may never heal. Just as a spark can destroy a whole forest, the tongue may do the same for many families. An Urdu proverb says: -- --- Pahl soch, pherr tol, pher bol. First think, then weigh it and then speak. God has given us two ears and one tongue so that we should hear twice and speak once. -,} r. , }..: .-

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Kam gooyo joz az masl hat kheesh magoo; waz har ch na porsadat kasee peesh magoo; goosh t d daadand zaban t yakee; yanee k d beshnovo yakee beesh magoo. Talk less and do not say anything except to give some proper advice; and do not speak before someone asks you to: You were given two ears and one tongue, which means hear twice and speak once. And when we speak, we should always speak the truth, because by doing so we do not have to worry about being caught with a falsehood. When we tell a lie, we have to bear it in mind for all times so that the recall of fabricated events is identical. Such a situation becomes progressively difficult as we often have to tell a hundred lies just to make one lie appear true. A minute deviation from truth to start with grows thousand-fold with time, as we fumble when one or two pieces of the jigsaw are missing from the memory vault. And here lies the importance of speaking the truth as it is the easiest thing to remember. Concerning the tongue, we all have seen the three little monkeys using the palm of their hands to cover their eyes, ears and mouth, representing See no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil. This adage is matched by the quote of the Zoroastrians: . .......> Goftaar neek, kerdaar neek, andeesha neek: Good speech, good actions and good thoughts. A Persian proverb says: A first step taken with a good thought, the second with a good word and the third with a good deed would make you enter Paradise. Here is a Persian poem: . . . .

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-...- .. } Qazaa shakhseest panj angosht daarad, Cho khaahad az kasee kaamee bar aarad; d bar deed nahad d neez bar goosh, yakee bar lab nahad gooyad k khaamoosh. Destiny is a person that has five fingers. Whenever it wants to get some work done through someone, he puts two on the eyes, two on the ears and one on the tongue saying Keep quiet!. But the best quote is that of Prophet Muammad: Whoever guarantees me (the chastity of) what is between his loins (i.e. his or her sexual organs) and what is between his jaws (i.e. the tongue), I guarantee him Paradise. (Hadth: Sahl bin Sad). Scientific Commentary of Suratul Faatehah (A Pharos Media Publication) 338 While speaking, we also have to watch who is listening, because a secret between three is no secret. A Chinese proverb says that a rumour goes in one ear and comes out of many mouths. Experience tells us that rumour and lies travel fast (especially through the electronic media) while truth walks on crutches. It was said that women talk much more than men, an average of 7000 words/day compared to mens 2000 but this claim was later retracted by the author. Truth: None of us knew the truth when we were born, although the truth was already there. As we grew up, we learnt what truth was, because the truth was there for all to seek, e.g. for centuries we thought that the world was flat, while in reality the Earth was round, but we had to wait for scientific evidence to know the truth. However, different people have different religions and different versions of the truth. Truth thus becomes relative because each person has his own truth and each religion has its own truth. In the court of law, both the plaintiff and the defendant swear by their holy scriptures that they are speaking the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. It is obvious that both cannot be right. Truth can be difficult to uphold and a lie easy to utter or lies can be sandwiched between truths. Truth may also be subject to doubt and therefore, correction. We should always keep in mind that there are three sides to every statement: yours, mine and the truth. Speech could be true or false, pleasant or obnoxious. We must constantly bear in mind that every time we speak, it gives us an opportunity to give a hint or a lesson to teach someone about remembrance of God, and for him to think about God during the brief pause in the conversation. In Q.23:3, Allah advises us to avoid absurd and foolish talk, and if we hear any such, we should leave the company with dignity (Q.25:72). Prayer followed by a prayer with no idle talk between the two is recorded in Illiyyn. (adth: Sunan Abu Dwd). Because Allah Himself is the Absolute Truth (Q.20:114), He attaches utmost importance for us to speak the truth. He commands us in 330 verses of the Holy Quran on what we should say (qul). If we are speaking the truth, we should be able to bring forth evidence to prove it (Q.2:111). Those of us who speak and abide by the truth are considered high in status, just after the prophets (Q.4:69) and precede even the martyrs and the pious persons, which all together comprise an excellent friendly company. A good-natured word is like a good-nurtured tree whose root is firmly fixed and its branches ascend up to the heavens (Q.14:24). Hold on to truth, for being truthful leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to Paradise. (adth: Amad bin Hanbal). If he has spoken the truth, he will certainly enter Paradise. (adth: Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dwd, At-Tirmidhi). The test of a righteous family is in the truthful children they produce. None of us is born knowing the truth. We must be told about it and endeavour to confirm it. Unfortunately, there are two billion people in this world who cannot read or write; hence, they accept whatever they hear from others as if that is the absolute truth, none of which they can verify. CHAPTER IV : Relationship between man and Allah 339 Pleasant Speech: Should jealousy or anger exude from us during a social encounter, a smile with loving words transforms the situation into a pleasant one. Smiles generate friends while frowns give us wrinkles. Less facial muscles are used in a smile than in a frown. A smile will gain you ten more years of life (a Chinese proverb). A simple smile from a king or a president can start a chain reaction in a country or the world, thereby altering history. People around us are like a mirror. If we show them our best face, we will be pleased with their best face looking at us. We could bring joy to someone by the sheer power of a smile, a touch, a kind word, an honest compliment or a listening ear. Even kind words and covering of faults of persons are better than charity followed by injury (Q.2:263). We must examine the word before the tongue pronounces it. Is the word necessary? Will it hurt? By pronouncing it, will Allah be pleased, or Satan? Part of the excellence of one's Islam is avoiding involvement in what does not concern one. (adith) Once words come out of the mouth, they can never be returned. While the word remains unspoken, you reign over it, but once you speak the word, it reigns over you. (Arabian proverb). The British Prime Minister Winston Churchil once said: If your foot slips, you can always regain your balance. But if your tongue slips, you can never recall the words. Just as thought is internal speech, speech is mirrored as external thought. At all times we should heed Allahs advice (Q.49:11) and not call others by nicknames or titles, e.g. ugly, fatso, shorty, idiot, etc. We should always bear in mind that every word we speak gives someone else a chance to find out how much or little we know about the subject, besides giving him some insight into our personality. It is better to conceal ones knowledge than to reveal ones ignorance, (a Spanish proverb). Prophet Muammad is reported to have said: A man slips more by his tongue than by his foot. If someone confides in us his/her secret, we should keep it confidential. Exposing it will be a definite breach of trust. A single leak may sink the whole ship. Here is a poem: . ....

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...,. Agar joz to daanad k azm t cheest; bar on rayo daanesh b baayad greest: If any one else except you knows your intention, you should cry over that opinion and knowledge. Here is another: If your lips would save you from slips, observe five things with care; of whom you speak, to whom you speak, and how and when and where. What a joy it is to find the right words for the right occasion! The same speech accompanied with a smile beautifies the complexion, enhances the personality and adds weight and importance to the meaning. If a person could not give us a smile, cant we give him one? We cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. It is easy to bypass enemies by becoming their friends. Here is an exemplary advice in Persian: - . .:,

,. B sheereen zabaaniyyo lotfo khoshee Tawaanee k peeli b moo ee kashee With a sweet tongue, gentleness and pleasantness, you can pull an elephant with a hair. Speech dresses up our thoughts; hence it should be used to beautify the person. Scientific Commentary of Suratul Faatehah (A Pharos Media Publication) 340 This same tongue that is used to spread evil can also be used to spread good, the latter becoming charity. ' ' . Alkalimatut t ayyibatu adaqah: means A friendly word is charity. (adth: Al Bukhri). We came into this world empty-handed and would leave empty-handed; the least we can do is to leave behind some kind and sweet words. (Of course, kind and sweet words by themselves are not enough and will not solve the problem of poverty. They should be accompanied by a food hamper or some such hand-outs). It takes the same tongue the same time to bring joy and happiness to the listener. Instead of cursing the darkness, it is easier and more effective to light a candle. So why use hurtful language when we know that we can win more friends with our ears than with our mouth? Because man is hasty, he gets angry quickly, curses others, making evil duas (Q.17:11). Man is created prone to haste (Q. 21:37), and allows himself no time to think before he speaks. Then should we blame Allah for having created us such that we would not give ourselves some time to think before speaking? We need to be reminded that, as a test, Allah also gifted us with the neo-cortex (the new brain or the thinking brain situated in the pre-frontal cortex) which distinguishes us from animals who cannot think. Because of this, we can think, plan strategies, compose poetry, write scientific data, go to Moon and Mars, etc. Hence we must think before speaking. Because we can think, we are masters of those who cannot think. We can put lions, tigers and elephants in a cage. We should not speak out our random thoughts but speak only when we are spoken to. Even an ignorant man is looked upon as wise when he keeps silent. : ' _ ':' . . Idh knal kalmu min fiatinn fasamtu min dhahab: is an idiom meaning: If speech is silver, then silence is gold. Needless to mention that one who talks too much commits the most mistakes, especially if he knows very little of the subject. We must never miss an opportunity to restrain our tongue. Either we talk what is good, pleasant, constructive and intelligent or keep quiet. A person who keeps quiet will never feel sorry: . ,:.. -: . ..(Shaikh Sadi): Pasheemon z goftan deedam basee; pasheemon nagasht az khamooshee kasee. I have seen many who felt sorry after they talked; no one felt sorry by keeping silent. A wise man knows when to speak his mind and when to mind his speech. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. (Plato, a Greek philosopher, 400 BC). If we have little knowledge about a subject being discussed, it would be better for us to remain silent and appear stupid than to speak and remove all doubts. The mouth should be kept shut when we find ourselves in deep waters. We all know what happened to the fish that opened its mouth. Small minds discuss people and their weaknesses and short-comings, while great minds discuss thought-provoking ideas. We must be careful of people who begin their CHAPTER IV : Relationship between man and Allah 341 talk by they say, or do you know what I heard because they may be lying. We may have to doubt what they say but we should know what they mean. Listening: We must continue to listen without the urge to interrupt. Listening is one way of entertaining the speaker and of getting him interested in us. The wisdom of silence can only be learnt by observing persons who do not talk much. Their silence is wonderful to listen to. Silence speaks for itself and opens a shroud of words we have concealed. Wisdom is the reward we get for years of listening when we would have preferred to talk. Sometimes, we can even understand the unspoken words of a silent man. When a suitable turn comes for us to speak, we should collect in the interval all the facts before doing so, ensuring that whatever we say would be pleasant and not be hurtful. We should not speak evil of someone even if we want to. We should ask ourselves: why am I saying it? We should also not insist on speaking if we have nothing intelligible to add to the conversation. The value of silence can be learnt as a tranquilising agent in the interlude after the end of a loud and disturbing musical session. It is also ill mannerly to interrupt another while he is still speaking to us. It is a virtue that a man listens to his brother when the latter speaks to him. (adth). We should not speak to another person in whispers or in a different language in the company of a third. Namimah: Nammah means to carry false information from one person to another so as to create hostility, while qattt is a person who carries news with the intention of causing harm and enmity between the parties concerned. Here Shaikh Sadi superbly expresses his foresight: ,' ,.,

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.:Miyaan do tan aatash afrookhtan: Na aqlasto khod dar miyon sookhtan. It is stupidity to set a fire between two persons and get burnt oneself between them. Sometimes, we delight in harping on what we consider to be faults in others, or have an incessant urge to criticise without putting in at least one good word. We also find that blaming individuals is emotionally more satisfying than finding out the reason. Some of us are experts at finding faults in others but not in mending our own in spite of knowing that it is easier to change our own behaviour than someone elses. We know fully well that it is human to err and that we ourselves have made many such mistakes in the past and no one yet knows anything about it. While back-biting, we belittle the absentee and try our utmost to lower his self-esteem, not knowing that this is a sign of our jealousy because of the absentee's success. We do not even verify rumours in spite of being commanded by Allah to do so, though afterwards we may regret it (Q.49:6). Lack of respect and love for fellow-beings are usually the root cause of jealousy and hate. We should not throw mud at others lest our own hands get dirty. Sometimes, we smear his/her character easily if the story has some truth in it. For such an action if the allegation is not supported by four witnesses, the penalty in the Quran is that we Scientific Commentary of Suratul Faatehah (A Pharos Media Publication) 342 ourselves should be given eighty lashes (Q.24:4). If a person sins and blames another, he earns an added sin (Q.4:112). Sometimes, we ridicule others, forgetting that Allah says that he or she may be better than us (Q.49:11). None of us knows our permanent destination to be allotted to us on the Day of Judgment. Khwajah Haafez says: ,::. ..:..

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Ayb randon makon ay zaahed paakeez seresht, k gonaah degaree bar t nakhaahand nevesht; Naa omeedam makon az saabeq y rooz azal, T ch daanee k pas pardeh k khoobasto k zesht. Bar amal takya makon khwajeh k dar rooz azal, t ch daanee qalam San b naamat ch nevesht. Dont find fault with the whores, O pious ascetic, for anothers sin will not be recorded as yours; Do not make me lose all hopes before the Day of Reckoning; how do you know who behind the curtain is beautiful and who is ugly? Dont count on your actions alone, Sir, on the Day of Reckoning, how do you know what the Pen of the Creator wrote next to your name? Here is an Urdu poem: .; .-...

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Rindon k bohot na chherho waa ez,: oon mein bhee hein kuchh Khodaa parast: Dont make fun of the whores, O preacher; among them there are also some godly and pious ones. It is easy to criticise anyone, because no one is perfect. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Every one of us has some good and some bad within us. Even the beautiful peacock has some ugly features, as in this Persian poem: .

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Taa oos raa b naqsh negaaree k hast khalq; tahseen konand oo khajl az paay kheesh. We admire the peacock, so breath-taking and multi-coloured, yet it is ashamed of its ugly feet. Some of us pick on the few bad points of others and feel no pain in criticising them and instead, feel elated in doing so. Such criticism gives us a false sense of superiority, which hides our own inferiority complex. A knowledgeable person may like to silence the critic but a wise man never does so. He would encourage the critic and engage him in a circular argument with a view to improve his own knowledge on the particular subject and to impart lessons to the critic. Have we ever put ourselves in the victims position while listening to gossip? If not, let us do it whenever the next occasion presents itself. This will teach us how to curb our tongue and/or change the topic. Suppose we call someone a rogue or a thief. Let us then put ourselves in his position and imagine how we would have felt if someone had called us a rogue or a thief. We would feel disgusted, ashamed and angry and may resort to physical violence. We must thank God that it is in every mans power to control the tongue, and hence, the consequences of our speech. We should wish for everyone what we wish for ourselves, and this we can easily find out by putting ourselves in the position of the absentee. CHAPTER IV : Relationship between man and Allah 343 Although the tongue of idle persons is never idle, it always takes two or more persons to gossip, from which we can excuse ourselves. He who comes with a story to you, takes two away from you. (Irish proverb). Everything unlawful to utter is also unlawful to listen to. People will refrain from speaking evil only when we refrain from listening to them. '' . Al Akhbrus sayyi atu tantashiru bi surah: Bad news travel fast. Sometimes, a grave look or gesture or changing the topic carries with it the message of corrective action. To remain silent during back-biting is unlawful, since we become accessories to the sin. Do you enjoin right conduct on the people and forget to practice it yourselves. And yet you study the scripture? Will you not understand? (Q.2:44). This Quranic verse applies to the speaker and to the listener both. It has been said that calamities present themselves in diverse ways for different people. A misfortune to us may be good news to others. This difference in fortunes often produces uncomfortable frame of mind in some of us. It displeases even the best of friends. A true and sincere friend however should not be threatened by his fellowmans successes. It is better to speak well of a friend, and say nothing about an enemy. If we all said to each others faces what we say behind their backs, society would be in chaos, and man would become an endangered species and probably become extinct. A sincere friend is not a true friend until he has taken care of his brother in three situations: in his absence, in times of misfortune and at the time of his death. (Imam Ali, R.A.) Unpleasant Speech: If we knock at someones door and the person does not open it, his action demonstrates our fallen status in his eyes. Similarly, if a person does not answer when we are talking, it also shows the small value he attaches to our opinion. Even down-sizing a person may hurt as noted in this poem by Khwajah Shamsuddin Haafez of Shiraaz: :- -. ,:.

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.Sobh dam morgh chaman baa gol nov khaast goft; naaz kam kon k dar in baagh basee choon t shogoft; Gol b khandeed k az raast naranjeem walee, heech aasheq sokhan sakht b mashooq na goft: One early morning the bird of the garden said to the newly-budding flower, Show less coquetry since in this garden many like you have blossomed; the flower laughed saying, I dont feel hurt by the truth (that I am born to fade) but no lover ever said such a harsh word to the beloved. It depends upon us entirely to speak out whatever we want. However we must remember that sometimes speech becomes unpleasant and even sinful: (1) Shouting: (a) Evil should not be voiced in public unless injustice was done (Q.4:148). (b) Shouting at the wife leads her to take her complaints to Allah (Q.58:1). (c) A husband is known by the tears of his wife. Scientific Commentary of Suratul Faatehah (A Pharos Media Publication) 344 (2) Cursing: (a) We should not curse other peoples deities lest they curse Allah out of spite (Q.6:108). (b) Among the worst of the major sins is for a man to curse his own parents, which could be done by cursing someone elses parents (adth: Muslim; At-Tirmidhi). Cursing words return to the owner like a boomerang, just as devising evil encompasses those who do it (Q.35:43). (3) Words of the same language should not be distorted to express an unpleasant meaning to the listener (Q.4:46) e.g. (a) When an enemy greets you, one of them would say, As Smu Alykum (death be unto you). Therefore say, Wa Alyka (and the same to you), (adth). (b) Most of us are familiar with some words that mean something else in one language but carry a foul meaning in another. (4) Falsehood: (a) Telling lies against Allah and His signs (Q.11:18; 16:116; 29:68; 64:10); Allahs curse falls on them (Q.3:61) and falsehood perishes (Q.21:18). (b) Chapter 12 shows lies and intrigues in a prophets household (Q.12:17-18). (However, some lies are excusable, especially those for Allahs sake and those made with good intentions and in good faith meant to bring about reconciliation between families or communities. Even prophets told such lies. Ibrhm, pbuh, did not lie except in three cases. Two were for the sake of Allah: (i) when he said, Verily I am sick, (ii) when he said, Nay, this one, the biggest of the idols did it, (iii) when he said, concerning his wife Sarah, She is my sister. (adth: Muslim; Abu Dwd). Allahs Messenger said, Lying is allowed only in three cases: falsehood spoken by a man to his wife to please her, falsehood in war, and falsehood to put things right between people. (adth: Amad and At-Tirmidhi). Reconciliation between people is of a better grade than fasting, prayer and sadaqah. (adth: Amad, Abu Dwd and At-Tirmidhi). Here is a Persian proverb: . ...:. :. Droogh maslehat aameez beh az raast fetna angeez ast: A lie for reconciliation is better than a truth, which causes confusion and revolt. Lying is also a simple form of self-defence. The truth is often so unpleasant that if spoken, it may need an apology later. In such cases, we need not tell all the truth but whatever we say should be the truth. However, we must bear in mind not to destroy a persons self-esteem and his reputation in the interest of truth. (5) Revealing other peoples secrets is also disapproved as it becomes a breach of trust, as happened in Prophets household, when one of his wives divulged a secret (Q.66:3). (6) When we have nothing to say, we should not speak and get people bored. The poet says: ...,.

, -. ,,,.:Beyandeesh wongah bar aawar nafas; waz on peesh bas kon k gooyand bas. Think and then wait awhile; stop talking before they tell you to stop. (7) On backbiting, gossip and slander, here are some notes: CHAPTER IV : Relationship between man and Allah 345 Back-biting, gossip and slander: The divine words in Chapter 49 of the Holy Quran, outline the code of conduct to be practised by the Muslim ummah, and should be studied in detail. Back-biting is mentioning something or suggesting evil of someone in his or her absence which he or she dislikes, be it true or false. It is considered a greater sin than adultery. If the statement uttered is false, it is termed slander. The term libel represents a published written statement which is untrue and defamatory. Slander is oral defamation spoken to injure anothers reputation as distinguished from libel or written defamation. Back-biting is usually due to concealed jealousy or envy, which when revealed, may turn to rage, insult or slander. By lowering the self-esteem of others, we erroneously believe we have elevated our own. Slander is a false oral defamation uttered maliciously with a view to personal injury or to damage anothers reputation, e.g. calling a qualified medical doctor a quack. A slanderous mouth bites hardest when it is open, not closed. Slander could be due to (a) envy, (b) anger, or (c) suspicion. Islam not only categorises slander as a grave and punishable sin (Q.24:23) but makes it the duty of all Muslims to defend the honour of one who is being slandered (Q.24:11-26). We have also been cautioned never to be a third party and circulate such falsehoods (Q.24:19). Although Mary, mother of Jesus, A.S., was a chaste woman (Q.19:28), some people accused her of being unchaste (Q.4:156). Prophet Muammad is reported to have said: .'. .' ' . . Wa man satara Muslimann satarahuhu fid duniy wal khirah: Whoever shields (conceals the faults of) a Muslim, Allah will shield him (conceal his faults) in this world and in the Hereafter. (adth: Muslim), and, Whoever seeks out the faults of his Muslim brother, Allah will expose his faults and degrade him. (adth: Amad bin Hanbal). O you who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible), for suspicion in some cases is a sin. And spy not on each other, neither backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would abhor that. And keep your duty (to Allah). Lo! Allah is Relenting, Merciful. (Q.49:12). In this verse, Allah strongly forbids backbiting, and He compares the backbiter to one who eats the flesh of his dead brother. If he would hate eating the flesh of his brother, he should also hate to eat his flesh while he is alive by backbiting and slandering him. The Prophet said: Backbiting is a sin worse than adultery. It is further explained in another adith: Allah may forgive a person if he repents after committing adultery. However, Allah will not forgive the one who backbites, till his victim forgives him. Gossip: It is virulent in many groups including religious ones. It is like a basket of feathers. The breeze blows the feathers to far away places in peoples homes until it becomes impossible to retrieve them. Gossip, like feathers, travels fast and wide through the help of telephone wires. Its a pity that those who advance it add something to it, while those who hear it also enlarge it. Gossip turns the love between two persons into hostility. A pleasant conversationalist is one who talks about you mostly and a gossiper is one who talks about others to you, Scientific Commentary of Suratul Faatehah (A Pharos Media Publication) 346 while a bore is one who talks only about himself. It is no good talking about ourselves. It will be done when we leave. For gossip to survive there is a minimum requirement of two persons, the whisperer and a listener. Often we forget that Allah is the Unseen Companion (Q.57:4) and also the other Silent Listener in all conversations (Q.58:7), which are duly written down by the two recording angels known as kirman ktibn (Q.82:10-12) for evidence in the Hereafter. If we refrain from gossiping and leave the company or simply change the topic, or put our hand on our mouth signalling her/him to desist from such talk, we perform a triple act that should also bring us three-fold spiritual blessings, viz. (a) we have protected the honour of the absentee, (b) we have taught the back-biter an important lesson to discontinue such a degrading practice, and (c) we have saved ourselves as being a third party in the gossip. We should keep far from gossipers and back-biters. If they could back-bite someone to us, they are undoubtedly capable of back-biting about us to others too. Back-biting is done in the absence of the victim who obviously cannot defend himself. A gossiper does not have the courage and honesty to confront the victim. The English proverb, Walls have ears, is reflected in this Persian poem: .-..-,

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Peesh deewaar harch gooee hoosh daar, taa nabaashad dar pas deewaar goosh: Take care what you say in front of a wall, in case someone is listening to it behind the wall. (A recent technology uses radio tomographic images to see, locate and track people behind walls, without the need to wear radio-transmitting tags). Gossip is a dangerous weapon that is used to destroy friendships, disrupt families and destabilise organisations. Most of us have some experience of it either as a promoter or as a listener. The intention is always to make the victim feel small and insignificant, no matter how many excellent qualities he or she may have. The purpose, therefore, is self-aggrandisement. We should remember that an ordinary man makes every man feel small and insignificant, but a truly great man is one who makes every one feel great. Scandal-mongering is talking evil of men or women by word or innuendo, behaviour or mimicry, sarcasm or insult. It is malicious gossip usually emanating from a general feeling of indignation, jealousy or inferiority. The scandal-monger and the slanderer will have a fiery future in the Hereafter (Chapter 104). Slander harms three persons: the speaker, the spoken to and the spoken of. The worst of Gods creatures are those who spread slander separating dear ones, an act much applauded by Satan. (Hadth). A Persian poem cautions us thus: . ,:... ..

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B doost har ch azeezast raaz del magshoy, k doost neez bgooyad b doostaan degar: Don't give away your secret to a friend no matter how dear he may be, since your friend would also say it to his other dear friends. Rumour usually spreads from a person who confides CHAPTER IV : Relationship between man and Allah 347 in a trusted friend who in turns tells this secret to another trusted and confidential friend. Should we back-bite about someone else, knowing fully well that we ourselves have committed in our lives similar or more serious mistakes? In matters of dispute we must always put ourselves in a comparable uncomfortable position as the opposite party (Q.4:9). We should not say anything about someone in his absence which we would not like him to say about us during our absence. We should not do to others what we do not want others do to us. There are persons who habitually insult others and never speak well of people who have 95% good qualities and only 5% unworthy ones. They never speak about their overwhelmingly good qualities but pick out, dwell on and exaggerate the 5% bad ones. None of us is perfect. There is often much good in the worst of us and so much bad in the best of us that at no time any of us should speak ill about another. During backbiting we speak evil of a man when he cant find us, and when we think we have found some bad points about him that would interest the listener. Such back-biters are a menace to society as they influence others by creating differences among persons. In some societies, gossip takes the form of a national pastime and phones are kept busy for indulgence in this evil. Yet, a proverb well reminds us: Oh God, send me a friend who will tell me of my faults, rather than of others. Here is a Persian poem: .--~. ..:..; ..;

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Doost aanast k ma aayeb doost, hamcho aa eenh roo b roo gooyad; na k choon shaaneh baa hazaar zabon, posht sar raft moo b moo gooyad. A friend is he who tells the faults of a friend face to face as in a mirror: Not like a comb with a thousand tongues, which goes behind the back and tells every hair. A real friend speaks well of you even behind your back. Hence, it is rare to find a friend who would talk good about you to others, yet point out quietly to you your mistakes, when no one else is listening. A once-in-a lifetime friend is found once only in a life time. .. .-. ,

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......+.- . Pareechehr raa hamneshin kardo doost, k in ayb man goft yaar man oost. B nazd man onkas nekoo khaah tost, k gooyad folon khhaar dar raah tost. He made the fairy-faced one his companion and friend; because this person told him about his faults, he is a sincere friend; in my opinion, the man who is your well-wisher is the one, who tells you that there is a thorn in your path. Back-biting is considered a major sin in Islam when we inflict severe punishment on ourselves also at the same time. Responding to gossip and slander: If a person back-bites or insults us, we should immediately realise the ill intentions of that person, who is envious, frustrated and trying to take revenge; or he may simply be ignorant and a rumour-monger. Successful persons are envied most and hence the best form of revenge for them is to Scientific Commentary of Suratul Faatehah (A Pharos Media Publication) 348 ignore the ill-behaved and achieve more success. What else should we do in such a case? (1) We should never feel hurt by such acts of ignorance. Let not their speech grieve us (Q.36:76) nor should we slander a slanderer. Although it is easier to condemn, it would be better to pity the ignorant. We should not respond to insults with insults. Instead, we should use our God-given brains to say something pleasing and win them over. People who fight fire with fire usually end up in ashes. Although, delivering a slap is an accepted form of settling disputes in some societies, it need not be resorted to, as it may lead to more violence and bad blood. By thinking carefully, we can accomplish by kindness what we can not accomplish by force. It is difficult to change others but easier to change ourselves. If we suspect jealousy, we must profess humility. If we want people to speak well of us, we should speak humbly of ourselves and keep a low profile. We must maintain our dignity and have full trust in Allah, since nothing happens without His permission. If we hear nonsense, we could offer our salaams and withdraw from the company (Q.28:55), and turn away from the ignorant (Q.7:199). Silence is often a timely moment to be observed both by the wise, and also the foolish. Here is a Persian proverb: - . . .. .