rus ervin funk, msw. rape/sexual assault domestic and dating violence sex trafficking sexual...

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Rus Ervin Funk, MSW Slide 2 Rape/sexual assault Domestic and dating violence Sex trafficking Sexual harassment Prostitution and pornography Street harassment Stalking Slide 3 Slide 4 Men tend to have a different experience and understanding of violence than do women The impact of activists efforts to understand the dynamics of violence has meant broadening the definition of what is violent Slide 5 Slide 6 A lack of identification with the victim. A perception of the situation as one that calls for violence. A decision to act violently The means of doing harm to the other person. Slide 7 Men commit the vast majority of sexual violence. Men are sexually victimized by other men. Mens sexual violence confines men. Women see men as potential threats. Men know and love survivors. Men know and love perpetrators. Men are part of the community. Mens sexual violence is a human rights violation. 2009/2010 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 8 Tend to have minimal or un-known relationship Assume other men (and women) think of men as either victims or offenders other-ing Slide 9 Intrapersonal (Attitudes) Relational (Behaviors) Organizational (Practices) Community (Norms) Socio-Cultural (Customs, laws, beliefs) Slide 10 Threat/level of violence Sexism Gender Sexual Coerced/ Stranger Gang Rape Harassment Harassment Forced sex Rape Rape Murder *Based on the work of Rus Ervin Funk, Reaching Men: Strategies for Preventing Sexist Attitudes, Behavior and Violence (2006). Slide 11 Collective impact How mens violence (and the threat of mens violence) impact all women How all men benefit from the violence that some men perpetrate Sexism as the core Slide 12 Prevention education Leadership development Bystander intervention and support Organizational level intervention Community organizing Policy advocacy Slide 13 Men Are not the problem And Men are responsible for Sexism and Violence 2009/2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 14 the important fact of mens lives is not that they are biological males, but that they become men. Our sex may be male, but our identity as men is developed through a complex process of interaction with the culture in which we learn the gender scripts, and modify those scripts to make them more palatable. Michael Kimmel and Michael Messner, 1989 Slide 15 1. How men handle life (Active and Achievement) independent, competitive 2. How men handle others (dominant) aggressive, powerful, boastful I would add competitive 3. How men handle emotions (level-headed) unemotional, self-control anger as mens only allowed/supported emotion (Michael Cicone & Diane Ruble, 1976) Slide 16 Being a Man Man Up What Men are Called Whats Done to Men Slide 17 Slide 18 Slide 19 What do men think about domestic violence? What do men think about women advocates? What do men think about men who work on these issues? What do men think about feminists and feminism? How do you expect men to respond to you? 2009/2010 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 20 Men have experienced multiple forms of violence and abuse. Men Care! Men are opposed to domestic violence and rape. Men are NOT the problem. Men have an unlimited ability to feel compassion and empathy. Men Want to be a part of the solution. Some men act in abusive and sexist ways. 2009/2010 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 21 Gender and Context Matter! Utilize the Prevention Framework Define specific groups of men to engage Clarify your reason for asking this man(or group of men) to be engaged Identify what engagement means (i.e. what we want them to do) Clarify roles for men in your agency/community? Slide 22 Men are different than women Men do not experience domestic and sexual violence like women do Mens recognize that domestic and sexual violence have a different impact on women Domestic and sexual violence are gendered Not all men are similarly situated in relation to sexual and domestic violence 2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 23 Little Learning Zone Optimal Learning Zone Little Learning / Damage Zone Slide 24 Meet men where they are Engaging hostile men is different than engaging overcommitted men Dont engage men to change men Know why youre engaging men (why should this man/group be engaged) Engage mento do what? Next Steps 2009, 2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 25 Intrapersonal (Attitudes) Relational (Behaviors) Organizational (Practices) Community (Norms) Socio-Cultural (Customs, laws, beliefs) X X Slide 26 Overtly hostile Opposed Engaged but hesitant Engaged but Over-committed Actively Leading Resistant Un- interested Questioning Engaged and ready to follow 2007 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 27 Identify which men you want to engage Focus on engage-able men Identify why they want to be engage Identify their point of entre Identify what they need in order to stay engaged/increase their engagement Identify who else they can engage 2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 28 Male Significant others Bystanders Male as volunteers Men who have perpetrated violence Men in groups 2009 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 29 Combating male defensiveness What is his point of entre? What are the next steps beyond this point of entre that are accessible to him? What supports does he need to take those next steps? Is if okay if he doesnt? Slide 30 If you had a group of men who were engaged and ready to work What would you have them do??? Slide 31 Behave Nonviolently Taking individual action Join Collective Efforts Slide 32 Treat the women in our lives with respect Equalize relationships Resist sexism and violence Inform yourself Resist settling Take action 2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 33 Overview of bystander theory Why men stand by Who men stand by given the chance Becoming an ally 2009 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 34 Defining the behavior Defining the relationship Men less likely to define the behavior as problematic than women Especially if they perceive it to be a relationship No cock-blocking 2009, 2011 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 35 Men side with men As default Will side with women if Know woman better than man If have positive regard for woman Diffusion of Responsibility S&DV are womens issues Dont know how 2009 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 36 The kinds of situations that men see: relationship blues Flirting with the waitress Locker-room talk Speaking up = placing oneself as not one of the guys. (cost of intervening) 2009 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 37 Support women or men who have been victimized Listen Believe Respect Challenge/Care-front abusive men Set a standard Talk to your friends Hold Accountable 2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 38 Become an ally Challenge Social Norms Provide Information Challenge assumptions Use humor Talk to other men Join a Mens Group Dont use pornography 2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 39 Fathers (esp. dads of teenagers) Coaches Men of faith Teens Victims Loved ones Former perpetrators Male leaders in the community Why should they be engaged? Slide 40 Listen Accept Responsibility Accept Personal Ownership of the Issue Open Doors Take Chances Seek Support Earn Trust Act Reliably Take the lead (at times) Check in Are Accountable 2009 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 41 Boys as allies for girls Boys as allies for each other Adult males as allies for boys To support leadership development To foster gender respect Adult males as allies for women and girls 2009/2010 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 42 White Ribbon Campaign Walk a Mile in her Shoes Mentor younger men Offer presentations Boycott sexist media Challenge pro-violent media Dont use Slide 43 Dont engage men to change men Start with men you know Start with these men with where they are (not where you wish they were or think they should be) Create points of entre Thing strategizing more then event planning Support their development Invite them to do the work, not listen to a conversation 2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 44 Invite to be further involved Provide resources Connect him/them with others Support through their learning Provide additional support Slide 45 Accountability is Transparent Process not end-point Relational Following through Listening to feminists first Accepting Consequences Making Amends 2009 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 46 Why do you want to engage men? 2009/2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 47 Because they need to get it Because they can be ambassadors for your organization/mission Because they are core partners in prevention Because they have been victimized Because they love women or men who have been victimized Others 2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 48 How do you focus on the support for and empowerment of women and engage and support men? 2009/2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 49 Opposed Resistant Ambivalent Uninterested Interested but unprepared Hesitant Over-taxed Ready, prepared and engaging 2009/2010 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 50 What Concerns or Fear do you have about Engaging Men? 2010/2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 51 Which men do you want to engage? Why these men? What access do you have to these men? What methods do you have to engage these men? How do you make these men feel welcome and comfortable within your organization? 2009/2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 52 Why (according to your community) do men come to your door? What is mens experience of coming in your door? What is mens perceptions of you? As an organization The staff within the organization What is mens perceptions of men who are connected to your organization? 2009/2011 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved Slide 53 Are men Potential perpetrators Potential victims Potential a