8/4/2019 Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew Rebuttal

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Rebuttal to Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew

Woke up from a text message, ahem, asking me when I was going to respond to the original link I posted. Here you go.

As many girls mentioned, we do agree with most of your points. We love you boys and its all just in good fun.

Disclaimer #1: Similarities to any real life persons or situations is completely coincidental. Or is it?

Disclaimer #2: This list and its reactions only apply to those relative of heterosexual orientation.

1.Sometimes we just don't want to talk. Don't take it personally.Sometimes we just need to talk to you about your retardation. Take it personally.

2.

We notice other women because we are men and we are alive. This does not mean we'replanning to dump you and jump them.1) Dont doit when were with you.2) There are several hotter men in this world than you, and we check them out too.3) Is it hypocritical to want a man that doesnt want or need to do that though?

3.Our favorite T-shirts are not "disgraceful." They show our loyalty to our college, our favoritesports team, our favorite beer, our favorite vacation or number 23.Just dress like George Clooney everyonce in a while and were happy.

4.Helpless is not cute.Become the perfect balance between seeking help to make him feel like the man in therelationship, and independent enough not to bother or annoy him. Got it.

5.Get to the point.Thats how I feel about baseball sometimes. 162 games a season, really?

6.

Understand that men are single-minded and can only do one thing at a time. So don't talk tous while we're doing something. We will either ignore you, because we don't hear you"honestly), or we'll screw up what we're doing because you've distracted us.

Exception to Rule 6. Interrupt us if something is on fire, if someone needs immediatemedical attention, if Pamela Lee is on TV or if there is an emergency that needs a hero.Good luck becoming a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or having any sort of profession if you cantmulti-task.

7.You can't complain that there are no good guys around while some of us are still single.says the man with a list of personal complaints. By the way, nice guys finish last becausethey put their girls first. Find a girl that does the same and youre golden.

8.If you ask us, "Do you think she's prettier then me?" we just might say, "Yes." Then what are

you going to do?Learn how to spell and well negotiate. The proper word is than.

9.

Don't expect even a great relationship with us to solve all your problems. Just because we

love you, doesn't mean your cellulite, your credit card debt or your bad mood will disappear.If I had cellulite or credit card debt, Id be in a permanently bad mood. But if you love thegirl, make her feel better about herself, dammit. Maybe if you told her she was the prettiestgirl in the world, as you should feel, you wouldnt have to deal with her insecurities.

10.We would not wear high heels to impress you.Im thoroughly confused with your point here.

11.Breathe occasionally so we can get a word in.

You contradict yourself with #5 here, sir.

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12.For us, driving is not just a means of going from point A to point B. It's an opportunity tocontrol a couple of tons of steel. We drive, therefore, we are.I drag race in my spare time; get on my level.

13.If you want us to notice something, help us out by saying something like, "I went to the

beauty shop today."

A real man knows his woman enough to be able to tell for himself.

14.If you have to have a cat, at least don't call him "Mister" anything.

What does this look like? How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days?

15.Hide the self help books when we come over. They make us nervous.

What?

16.We need to vegetate.Imagine us vegetating and go from there. Its not exactly super attractive, is it?

17.We don't go shopping. When we need something, we buy it.I am the wrong woman to comment on this particular topic.

18.We believe our bodily functions are perfectly normal and, at times, quite amusing.Wanna know a secret? Girls do too.

19.We don't believe you when you say money isn't important to you.Money should be important to everyone.

20.When we see pictures of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones we feel proud andhappy to be men. We don't care if it's not fair.I stopped reading your sentence half-way through, Idont care.

21.It's not that we don't want to make you happy, it's just that sometimes, we don't know how.If you have to constantly try to make your woman happy, something is desperately wrong.

22.Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.I dont give a crap about this topic. No pun intended.

23.If it itches, it will be scratched.

I always did think that was gross.

24.If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an answer you didn't wantto hear.Touch point #1. Congratulations, you have one valid point of twenty-four thus far.

25.Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.Honey, you aint in love then.

26.Don't ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such asnavel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.Oh, I am so sorry that we apparently care too much.

27.Sundays equals sports. Period.I have participated in fantasy football before; Suck my

28.Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

Whos complaining? Get drunk, youre nicer then anyway.

29.When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.This dispute should be discussed amongst married couples who are bored with each other.

30.You have enough clothes.Good observation. Would you like a cookie?

31. You have too many shoes.

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You have too many video games.

32.Crying is blackmail.Okay, some girls may cry a lot. Maybe sometimes they use that to their advantage. Thatdoesnt mean that real tears are invaluable and should have any less value.

33.

Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

Talking about your ex to your significant other is stupid. I will give you that. However, anew relationship should be an automatic upgrade, so make sure you step up or you shouldprobably know were thinking less of you in our heads.

34.

Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don'twork. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!If we made it easy for all of you, how would we differentiate between whos worth it and

whos not?

35.

No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar you knowwe check.**Personal note to women: There are men out there that have the brain capacity toremember important anniversaries as well as all sorts of sports statistics. Find them andkeep them.

36.We're not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proofof how little we care about you.Okay, okay, Ill give you that one. Touch point #2.

37.

Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosingwhich pair - out of 30 - would look good with your dress?Any woman that is asking her man about styling advice is indirectly asking for a complimentor two, or cares enough to wear what he likes. What a concept, caring about the otherpersons likes and dislikes. I dont think shoes really matter unless hes gay though, girls.

38.Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.No.

39. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy iswhat your girlfriends are for.Dont get jealous when we go to a more understanding and caring man with our problems.

40.A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.Your woman used you for 17 months. Thats got to be some sort of record.

41.Check your oil.I put a quart of oil in my car every few weeks. Do your laundry.

42.Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.I now understand why your woman had a headache for 17 months. Learn how to please her.

43.It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together.

What the hell kind of quiz would you take?

44. It doesn't matter which quiz.Okay.

45.Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become nulland void after seven days.So, is it six months or seven days? You indecisive dumbass.

46.If you won't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like the soap operaguys.

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There is a Victoria Secret store where we buy clothes from though, so you should probablystart shopping for a more hunky, romantic, preferably foreign personality.

47.

If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad orangry, we meant the other one.

You do understand that this would mean that you never make mistakes. Now youre a

repetitive, indecisive, conceited dumbass.

48.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.Who are we, your secretaries? We will tell you what we want, when we want it, how we wantit, where we want it, without having to tell you why we want it. Perhaps in the middle of

writing your semi-clever list, you forgot who the superior sex is. We own you. *whip*

49.Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.I dont watch any of these shows, but I suppose I speak for most women when I say: Thesame applies to us watching Sex and the City, Pretty Little Liars, and Gossip Girl.

50.

Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.If you have an internal GPS, you should have mind-reading capabilities too. Not to mentionthat if Christopher Columbus realized where the hell he landed originally, more people inthe US would understand the difference between Indians and Native Americans.

51.If you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about having

your boobs stared at.I dont know a single woman that complains about being checked out.

52.Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.Of course it wont be. It should get better and better. Unless youre not up to the task.

53.

Men see a limited number of colors, like Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not acolor.Try to understand the minds of most women though. Thats like them saying that if they

were to sit down and watch different shows on ESPN all day like you do, they would feel likethey were watching the same thing, over and over again. I know about eight colors and lovesports though, so f*ck this point.

54.Ditto melon.Nascar is still on ESPN, so melon remains a crayon color.

55.

If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong.F*ck, I do this all the time. Touch point #3. I suppose I agree with you, but its not ourfault that Disney trained us to believe our Prince Charming would be perfect, which includeshaving the ability to read our minds if something did happen to go wrong. Refer to #50.

Rules That Girls Wish Guys Knew

1.

Whether you believe it was Gods own plan or the act of evolution, females are the onesequipped and able to give birth to your children. The truth is that there is no higher privilegethan that for us, but no harder taskfor anyone to accomplish as well. So, just do your mostimportant and simple duty as men by romancing us, fighting for us, and loving us for us.