role of counsellor

Role of CounsellorDeveloping Life Skill

Dr Rupa Talukdar

The term ‘Life Skills’ refers to the skills you need to make the most

out of life.

Life skills are usually associated with managing and living a better

quality of life. They help us to accomplish our ambitions and live to

our full potential.

Any skill that is useful in your life can be considered a life skill.

Enhancing the life skill

Life skills are not always taught directly but often learned indirectly through

experience and practice.

By learning new skills we increase our understanding of the world around us and

equip ourselves with the tools we need to live a more productive and fulfilling life,

finding ways to cope with the challenges that life, inevitably, throws at us.

Perhaps the most important life skill is the ability and willingness to learn.

How do we develop life skill

There is no definitive list of life skills. Certain skills may be more or less relevant to you depending on your life circumstances, your culture, beliefs, age, geographic location, etc.

Essential Life Skills

Different life skills will be more or less relevant at different times your life.


When at school or university, you'll need study skills

When buying a house, negotiation skills may be needed

You'll need to work on your employability skills to get a job

When you have a job, leadership and presentation skills may

be useful, along with a whole host of other skills.


When you start a family, time

management and organizing skills are likely to

become important.

There will be times throughout your life when you'll

need conflict resolution, stress

management and problem solving skills too.


Personal Skills are the essential life skills we need to help maintain a healthy body and mind coordination.

Personal skill

How we recognize, manage and cope with emotions To know our Emotional Intelligence Good idea of personality type How to keep mind healthy

Anger and Stress can both be detrimental to our personal

relationships and our health. Learning about anger and stress,

recognizing what may trigger them (in ourselves and others), what

the symptoms are and how to control or manage such emotions can

greatly enhance the quality of our lives.

Personal Life skill

Managing Stress and others are keys to modern life skill.

What is stress?

Avoiding Stress, Stress in the Workplace

Tips dealing with the stress

Time Management and Minimizing Distraction

What is anger ? and Anger Management

Improving Self Esteem and Building Confidence

Personal Life skill

Avoid Caffeine, Alcohol, and Nicotine. Avoid, or at least reduce, your consumption of nicotine and any

drinks containing caffeine and alcohol. Caffeine and nicotine are stimulants and so will increase your level of stress rather than reduce it.

Alcohol is a depressant when taken in large quantities, but acts as a stimulant in smaller quantities. Therefore using alcohol as a way to alleviate stress is not ultimately helpful

Reduce the intake of refined sugar, even in savory foods (such as salad dressings and bread) and can cause energy crashes which may lead you to feel tired and irritable

Tips to deal with Stress

Indulge in Physical Activity:

Stressful situations increase the level of stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol.


These are the “fight or flight” hormones that evolution has hard-wired

into our brains and which are designed to protect us from immediate

bodily harm when we are under threat. However, stress in the modern

age is rarely remedied by a fight or flight response, and so physical

exercise can be used as a surrogate to metabolize the excessive stress

hormones and restore body and mind to a calmer, more relaxed state.

When you feel stressed and tense, go for a brisk walk in fresh air. Try

to incorporate some physical activity into your daily routine on a

regular basis, either before or after work, or at lunch time. Regular

physical activity will also improve the quality of your sleep.

Tips To deal with Stress: Indulge in Physical Activity

Get More Sleep

A lack of sleep is a significant cause of stress. Unfortunately though, stress also interrupts our sleep as thoughts keep whirling through our heads, stopping us from relaxing enough to fall asleep.


Rather than relying on medication, your aim should be to maximise your

relaxation before going to sleep. Make sure that your bedroom is a tranquil

oasis with no reminders of the things that cause you stress. Avoid caffeine

during the evening, as well as excessive alcohol if you know that this leads to

disturbed sleep. Stop doing any mentally demanding work several hours before

going to bed so that you give your brain time to calm down. Try taking a warm

bath or reading a calming, undemanding book for a few minutes to relax your

body, tire your eyes and help you forget about the things that worry you.

You should also aim to go to bed at roughly the same time each day so that your

mind and body get used to a predictable bedtime routine.

Tips to deal with Stress: Get More Sleep

Try Relaxation Techniques:

Each day, try to relax with a stress reduction

technique. There are many tried and tested ways

to reduce stress so try a few and see what works

best for you


For example, try self-hypnosis which is very easy and can be done anywhere,

even at your desk or in the car. One very simple technique is to focus on a

word or phrase that has a positive meaning to you. Words such as "calm"

"love" and "peace" work well, or you could think of a self-affirming mantra

such as “I deserve calm in my life” or “Grant me serenity”. Focus on your

chosen word or phrase; if you find your mind has wandered or you become

aware of intrusive thoughts entering your mind, simply disregard them and

return your focus to the chosen word or phrase. If you find yourself

becoming tense again later, simply silently repeat your word or phrase.

Don't worry if you find it difficult to relax at first. Relaxation is a skill that

needs to be learned and will improve with practice.

Tips to deal with Stress: Try Relaxation Techniques:

Talk to Someone Just talking to someone about how you

feel can be helpful. Talking can work by either distracting

you from your stressful thoughts or releasing some of the built-up tension by discussing it.


Stress can cloud your judgment and prevent you from seeing things clearly. Talking things through with a friend, work colleague, or even a trained professional, can help you find solutions to your stress and put your problems into perspective.

Tips to deal with Stress :Talk to Someone

Keep a Stress Diary

Keeping a stress diary for a few weeks is an effective stress management tool as it

will help you become more aware of the situations which cause you to become

stressed

Note down the date, time and place of each stressful episode, and note what you

were doing, who you were with, and how you felt both physically and emotionally.

Give each stressful episode a stress rating (on, say, a 1-10 scale) and use the diary

to understand what triggers your stress and how effective you are in stressful

situations. This will enable you to avoid stressful situations and develop better

coping mechanisms.


Take Control Stress can be triggered by a problem that may on the surface seem impossible

to solve. Learning how to find solutions to your problems will help you feel

more in control thereby lowering your level of stress.

One problem-solving technique involves writing down the problem and coming

up with as many possible solutions as you can. Decide on the good and bad

points of each one and select the best solution. Write down each step that you

need to take as part of the solution: what will be done, how will it be done,

when will it be done, who is involved and where will it take place.


Manage Your Time At times, we all feel overburdened by our 'To Do' list and this is a common

cause of stress. Accept that you can not do everything at once and start to

prioritise and diaries your tasks.

Make a list of all the things that you need to do and list them in order of

genuine priority. Note what tasks you need to do personally and what can

be delegated to others to do. Record which tasks need to be done

immediately, in the next week, in the next month, or when time allows.


By editing what might have started out as an

overwhelming and unmanageable task list, you can break

it down into a series of smaller, more manageable tasks

spread out over a longer time frame, with some tasks

removed from the list entirely through delegation.

Remember as well to create buffer times to deal with

unexpected and emergency tasks, and to include time for

your own relaxation and well-being.

Tips to deal with Stress: Manage with Time

Learn to Say ‘No’ A common cause of stress is having too much to do and too little time in which to do it.

And yet in this situation, many people will still agree to take on additional

responsibility. Learning to say “No” to additional or unimportant requests will help to

reduce your level of stress, and may also help you develop more self-confidence.

To learn to say “No”, you need to understand why you find it difficult. Many people find

it hard to say “No” because they want to help and are trying to be nice and to be liked.

For others, it is a fear of conflict, rejection or missed opportunities. Remember that

these barriers to saying “No” are all self-created.


You might feel reluctant to respond to a request with a straight

“No”, at least at first. Instead think of some pre-prepared

phrases to let other people down more gently. Practice saying

phrases such as:

“I am sorry but I can’t commit to this as I have other priorities

at the moment.”

“Now is not a good time as I’m in the middle of something.

Why don’t you ask me again at….?”

“I’d love to do this, but …

Tips to deal with Stress: Learn to Say ‘No’

Rest If You Are If you are feeling unwell, do not feel

that you have to carry on regardless. A short spell of rest will enable the body to recover faster.


The Key to Good Time Management

Understanding The Difference Between Urgent and Important

‘Urgent’ tasks demand your immediate attention, but whether you actually

give them that attention may or may not matter.

'Important' tasks matter, and not doing them may have serious consequences

for you or others.

Time Management

Answering the phone is urgent. If you don’t do it, the caller will ring off, and you won’t know why

they called. It may, however, be an automated voice telling you that you may be eligible for

compensation for having been mis-sold insurance. That’s not important.

Going to the dentist regularly is important (or so we’re told). If you don’t, you may get gum

disease, or other problems. But it’s not urgent. If you leave it too long, however, it may become

urgent, because you may get toothache.

Picking your children up from school is both urgent and important. If you are not there at the

right time, they will be waiting in the playground or the classroom, worrying about where you are.

Reading funny emails or checking Facebook is neither urgent nor important. So why is it the

first thing that you do each day? See our page minimising distractions to help you recognize and

avoid other things that may distract you from getting your urgent and important tasks done.

Tips to deal with Stress: Time Management

http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/minimise-distractions.html

http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/minimise-distractions.html

You may think of it as your inner voice – the voice that tells you whether you are good enough to do or achieve something.

Self-esteem is about how we value ourselves, our perceptions and beliefs in who we are and what we are capable of.

Our self-esteem can be mis-aligned with other people's perception of who we are.

Improving Self-esteem

Interestingly enough, self-esteem has little to do with actual talent or ability. It’s quite possible for someone who is good at something to have poor self-esteem, while someone who struggles at a particular topic might have good self-esteem.

Self Esteem

In the first case, the person might think “I have to give a

speech tomorrow and I’m dreading it. I know I’m no

good,” even though they are experienced and successful. The

other person may be determined to give a good speech and

focuses on feeling more confident about the result, even

though they display less talent than the first person. It is easy to see how a lack of self-esteem can influence how a

person behaves, not to mention what they achieve in their lives.

Self Esteem

Everybody is different. Some people are naturally

positive and optimistic, maintaining equilibrium

when faced with constant difficulties, while others are less so.

Some people are good at appearing to be positive and

optimistic on the outside while they struggle with low self-esteem and feelings of self-doubt on the inside.

Self -Esteem

Gain Control of Yourself: Do not be critical of yourself to others. Whilst it can be useful

to confide your concerns to someone you trust, telling the world is something else. Be

kind to yourself. Make a list of your good qualities and believe them, believe in yourself.

Don't Be A Complainer: Everyone has problems, so why should yours be greater than

others? By being negative you can isolate yourself from others and cut yourself off from

solutions to problems.

Learn to Relax: Allow time for yourself each day. This may only be a few minutes, but it

is important to be quiet and to unwind.

Boost Your Own Morale: Allow yourself a treat from time to time, especially if you have

overcome a hurdle in personal presentation, particularly after your first formal talk or

after a successful meeting. It does not have to be expensive - a cup of coffee at a pleasant

place, or some other treat..

Quick Tips to Help Improve Self-Esteem

Congratulate Yourself on a job/task well done and perhaps tell a

friend. Do not always be the one to give out praise, you need some too.

Justified praise is a good boost to morale.

Learn to Channel Nerves and Tension Positively: when you are

nervous, adrenalin is pumped through the body and you feel more

keyed up and alert. This extra energy can be used to good effect;

enabling you to communicate with greater enthusiasm and intensity,

for example.

.Learn to be Assertive: Stand up for what you believe in and do not

be pressured by others.

Quick Tips to Help Improve Self-Esteem

Broadly, the model sets out that you learn in four stages: ‘Unconscious incompetence’, where you don’t know what you don’t

know. This equates to the ‘Absolute Beginner’ stage here;

‘Conscious incompetence’, where you know what you can’t do, but

you don’t know how to do it, which equates to the ‘Learner’ stage here;

‘Conscious competence’, where you know what to do, but you still find

it difficult. This is the ‘Nearly there’ stage; and

‘Unconscious competence’, where you have ‘internalized’ the learning

and you do the right thing without thinking about it

Models of Learning

The end of the SESSION

Thank you

role of counsellor

Healthcare