How to Talk to about the Hard Stuff: Effectively Delivering

Difficult Information to Staff and Parents

Rochelle Ritzi, MS, LPCDoctoral Counseling Student,

UNTrochelle@tots.pro

www.tots.pro

Megan Krizan, M.Ed, LPC Intern,

under the supervision of

Brandy Schumann, PhD, LPCS, NCC, RPTSmegan@tots.prowww.tots.pro

Difficult topics with staff and parents A practical look at personality The staff/parent (personality) you dreadHow different personalities can compliment

or clashHow to deliver difficult information so it can

be received

What’s ahead…

Behavioral problems

Usually a combination

Difficult Conversations… Academic struggles

Complaints

Difficult Conversations…

Concerns

What is your uncensored reaction to feedback?

How would you like difficult information

to be delivered to you?

Personality

Rejection and hassles

Criticism and ridicule

Doing things that are meaningless and unimportant

Stress and pain

Lott, L (n.d.); Nelson, Lott & Glenn (2000);

Positive Discipline (2011)

What do you avoid and dislike MOST?

If you dislike most:

Rejection and hasslesChameleon

Criticism and ridicule Lion

Meaningless and unimportance

Eagle

Stress and PainTurtle

What animal are you?

The Chameleon

If you dislike most:Rejection & hassles

You probably...Say yes and mean noFear confrontationGive in easily Worry of being

disliked Try to fix everything

to make others happyWhine & complainWork hardSuper reasonableAre known to

accommodate and be super reasonable

Make lists

Pleaser

The Lion If you dislike most

Criticism and ridicule You probably…

Hold back your emotions

Boss others Are organized Argue Get quiet and wait for

others to coax you Do things yourself Cover all bases before

you act Complain, sigh,

procrastinate Get angry,

explain/defend Engage in physical

activity Put up a wall

Control

The Eagle If you dislike most:

Doing things that are meaningless and unimportant

You probably... Overdo it, take on too

much Worry about doing

better Become the expert Seek advocates Fight to prove your

point Can be stubborn Put down people or

things, including self Cry, scream, or complain

to others (about the absurdity of life/others)

Correct others Operate on “shoulds”

Superiority

The Turtle If you dislike most:

Stress and pain You probably…

Make jokes, use humor often Intellectualize Do only things you already

do well Avoid new experiences Take the path of least

resistance Leave sentences incomplete Avoid risks Hide so others don’t see

imperfections Overreact Complain, cry, scream Micromanage and spoil

others Don’t ask for help Tuck into your shell, attack

like a snapping turtle Close up your heart

Comfort

As a group, decide:

1. What concern/behavior/academic problem would be most difficult to deliver? Why?

2. Which staff/parent/animal do you like working with LEAST? Why?

Group with like animals…

To receive difficult information:Chameleons (pleaser) need:

Feel cared for Approval

Lions (control) need:Choices (help determine solution)To leadAsked how they feel Given time/space to process information

Sensitivity

Eagles (superiority) need: To be recognizedTo be thanked Told they are rightHelp getting started (with a small step)

Turtle (comfort) need:To not be interrupted For you to invite their commentsListened to Know that you believe in them/their childEncouraged

Sensitivity

Eagle and an Eagle

Chameleon and a Turtle

Lion and Turtle

Others?

Compliment or Clash?

Try it…

1.Child not ready for Kindergarten

2.Complaint against staff member (impatient with child)

Understand yourselfSend a message of careFigure out what is needed by imagining same

animal in your lifeUse “similar” instead of “I think he has” Learn about your student’s

parent(s)/guardian(s)Make notes after “meet the teacher” What “animal” are they?What do they need from you when hearing

difficult information?

To Deliver Difficult Information:

rochelle@tots.promegan@tots.pro

Therapy on the Square114 E. Louisiana, Ste. 201

McKinney, TX 75069www.tots.pro

972-886-8375 office

Contact Information

How to Help a Child Grieve I Thought I Knew My Child… Keys to Understanding

Your Child’s Behavior Discipline Can Be Positive! Learn How to Avoid

Pitfalls in Punishment How to Accept a Child When You Don’t Accept

His/Her Behavior How to Have Family (or Class) MeetingsPositive DisciplinePlay – Understanding the Language of ChildrenConnecting and Redirecting: Understanding

Misbehavior in Your Classroom and What to Do About It.

Other presentations…

Lott, L. (n.d.). Retrieved August 20, 2011, from http://www.lynnlott.com/tryit/websiteTopCard2.htm

Nelson, J., Lott, L., & Glenn, S. (2000). Positive discipline in the classroom. (3rd ed.). New York, NY: Three Rivers Press.

Positive Discipline. (2011). Retrieved August 20, 2011, from http://positivediscipline.com

Questions?

References