Grief Robab Khoshbooii

EDP5003

What Is Grief?Grief is a natural reaction to the loss of someone important

to you.

There are many different types of loss, and not all of them are related to death. For example, a person can also grieve over the breakup of an intimate relationship or after a parent moves away from home.”

.1995-2007 The Nemours Foundation. http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/emotions/someone_died.html

Coping With GriefThe grieving process is very personal and individual Everyone handles grief in different waysSome people reach out for support from others

Some people might blame themselves or think they could have done something to stop the death.

Some people get involved with activities to take mind off loss.

some people become depressed and withdraw from activities, peers, family

Some people seek for professional help from counselor or psychiatric

1995-2007 The Nemours Foundation. http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/emotions/someone_died.html

Do children experience Grief?“Yes, if children are old enough to love, they are old

enough to grieve. Many times in our society children are the forgotten grievers. For instance, when a parent dies, whom do we expect to help the child with their grief? The surviving parent. That parent not only has their own grief to deal with but they are learning for the first time how to be a single parent. They, like their child, can use support in their grieving.”

Children Grief (cont.)

Children don’t grieve the way we do. They don’t openly talk about how they are feeling. A death in their life usually causes them to feel in secure and anxious

Bereavement groups can be a helpful tool for children.

Five stages of GriefDenialAnger

BargainingDepressionAcceptance

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Five stages of griefhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIfg2wXv6

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stages (cont.) Failure to complete any of these stages can lead to

incomplete healing. Stages of grief does not appear linear: May go from shock → anger → denial → bargaining

→ anger → depression → acceptance → anger. There’s no perfect model- There’s no right or wrong

way. We can’t put grief into a perfect box

The Grieving Student at the Classroom

Children express their pain of grief by their performance Their behaviors usually vary based on their age and developmental level The most unusual behaviors are:Becoming distract easily by movement and sounds at class, Becoming more forgetful than used to, Becoming much more fearful that they left aloneBeing loud and noisy, Have a temper outburst, Start fighting with other children, Want to fight against everythingLow grade in academic performance Older children may even run away from home  

Adolescence Grief Adolescence grief manifests as:

Confusion Feelings of emptiness/or loneliness Sleep and eating disturbances Crying Exhaustion Low academic performance Aggressive behaviors Depression Anxiety Feeling of insecurity

Usually express grief in short outbursts or suppress it- “They don’t want to feel emotionally out of control.”

What to do?Teacher Act natural. Be honest. Don't lie about death Show genuine care and concern Tell grieving is a normal process Be a good observer. A bereaved child's behavior can tell you about her

emotions. Listen carefully. Let children tell you what grief is like for them. Tell them that you are there to listen Don’t rush to explain their feelings Be patient. Children's grief isn't typically obvious and immediate. Talk openly and directly about the person who died. Use simple and direct

language. Show you care, concern ,support and love them Sit next to a child that wants closeness

What to do?TeacherRemember :Your grieving student needs your support and

understandingYour grieving student needs to know that school is a

stable and loving refugeYour grieving student needs someone to listen and care,

not offers so many advicesYou can’t ease a students’ pain, but you can help them to

manage their painful experiences

What not to doOffer advice or quick solutions (“I know how you feel.”

“Time heals all wounds.”)Try to shelter children from the reality of death; Give false or confusing messages (“Grandma is sleeping

now.”)Tell a child to stop crying because others might get upsetTry to cheer the person up or distract from the emotional

intensity (“At least he’s no longer in pain.” “She’s in a better place now.”)

Needs of the Teenager at Grieving time To be encouraged to talk about what they think and feel Their thoughts and feelings will be respectedHis/her ways of grieving will be acceptedTo be taken seriously, no matter how shallow his/her

concerns seemWhile this age-group may understand death intellectually,

they may have great difficulty understanding it emotionally

Needs of the Teenagerat Grieving timeAdequate informationTheir fears and anxiety to be addressedWatch and listen them carefullyTheir feeling are acceptedNeed help for overwhelming feelingsNeed to be involved and includedNeed to see other people grieving Need opportunity for remember

Help ThemselvesAttending support groupsTherapy with a psychologist or other licensed mental health

professionalJournalingEating WellExercisingGetting enough restAntidepressants such as Zoloft, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Lexapro,

Celexa, Prozac and can be very effective to those who become clinically depressed

Grief GroupsBy sharing feelings with one another, children find out

that they are not alone and that others are also struggling with pain and suffer. Grief groups help children feel understood, accepted, and supported

Group ActivitiesWriting or drawing spontaneously on mural paper taped

to the wallCreating a collage using pictures and words cut from old

magazinesWriting a poem, eulogy, or songConstructing a book that can be used as a journal or a

memory bookGoing on a field trip to a funeral home, cemetery, etc.

Signs that Bereavement in Young People Needs Outside InterventionIf a young person pretends that absolutely nothing has

happenedIf school work takes a dramatic decline or the student

develops a school phobiaIf a young person threatens suicideIf a young person panics frequentlyIf a young person becomes involved with alcohol or drugsIf a young person begins committing serious socially

delinquent acts

Signs that Bereavement (cont.)If the young person is unwilling or unable to socialize

with other young peopleIf a young person frequently physically assaults others or

is cruel to animalsIf a young person had a difficult relationship with the

deceased or behaves poorly with family members