RESTORING YOUR

MARRIAGE VOWS

Importance of honoring these

vows are crucial to the very root

for growth and protection of a

healthy society.

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It is not only the value of

marriage which appears to be

disappearing, but it also

appears that the importance of

the honoring of the marriage

vows is disappearing too.

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Without the honoring of the vows,

the vows become a contract It

negates the entire essence of the

vows – “it does not matter what

you do to me or for me or what you

don’t do, I will always keep my side

of this marriage no matter what” –

a covenant, ‘til death do us part!

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The importance of Marriage vows really struck me when I attended my daughter’s friend wedding last Saturday . I listened carefully as the Reverend who was wedding the couple asked the bridegroom and the bride to read their vows. This matter is taken so lightly without much thought. I started thinking about these vows and how important they are to us in marriage.

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WE STAND IN PUBLIC TO VOW.

What then happens when we do not

honour these vows? Think about it.

Have you honoured your vows?. If

not, there is room to repent and go

back and restore them in your

marriage. Don’t give up because

you have failed. Failure is not fatal.

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MARRIAGE VOWS HAVE BEEN FORGOTTEN

Hence we need to :

Bring back or attempt to bring

back to the original state where

we started

Repair all areas that have

become crooked

Bring back to health our

marriage wows

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Reinstate our first love

Bring back to a former

condition as we know where we

failed

Restoring back to the original

state the vows as we stated

them on the Wedding Day.

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In one of the Newspapers in

Kenya some men said: “where

are the good women?” Kenyan

men bemoan the lack of

supportive, genuinely loving

Kenyan woman, and described

what the ideal woman would look

like to them.” This is a great

concern.

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Psalm 11:1-3

In the LORD I take refuge. How then can

you say to me: "Flee like a bird to your

mountain. For look, the wicked bend their

bows; they set their arrows against the

strings to shoot from the shadows at the

upright in heart. When the foundations

are being destroyed, what can the

righteous do?"(NIV)

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Matthew 7:24-27

"Therefore everyone who hears these

words of mine and puts them into

practice is like a wise man who built his

house on the rock. The rain came down,

the streams rose, and the winds blew

and beat against that house; yet it did

not fall, because it had its foundation on

the rock.

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But everyone who hears these

words of mine and does not put

them into practice is like a foolish

man who built his house on sand.

The rain came down, the streams

rose, and the winds blew and beat

against that house, and it fell with a

great crash.“ (NIV)

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You must lay strengthened

foundations that can withhold

any forces that comes to

destroy our marriages. Lets go

back to the designer of

marriage.

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COMPLAINTS FROM MEN

I am not biased where but many men

have run away from their marriages

and have complained so much about

their wives. What their expectations

were as they wedded were never

met. Hence the following is just a

part of what the Kenyan men have

complained of.

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Men liken the possibility of finding a good Kenyan woman to searching for a pin lost in a field of nappier grass.They claim the good women are few and far between, and it would take real work to unearth them. Most men claim that they have difficulties finding a woman to meet their emotional needs, share their successes and frustrations and settle down and have children with.

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Most men fault habits like

nagging, not stroking his ego

regularly or fulfilling his several

needs, not cooking, ironing,

and neglecting to take care of

him. These they say, are the

magical ingredients that are

found only in few Kenyan

women.

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One man said, “To find a good

woman in Kenya, you will have

to go to the remotest part of

this country where values are

still upheld.

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At no other time have men agreed

being beaten by women and at no

other time have women been more

aggressive. Why? A quick answer

would be that they are venting out

their anger. Husbands who no

longer provide; not only food and

school fees, but also conjugal

rights.

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There are many cracks in the

marriage building; cracks of

anger, immorality, HIV/AIDS,

divorce, drugs, gay marriages,

lesbianism etc. The cracks are

too many and scary.

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Despite its importance, the

marriage institution today is faced

with diverse challenges; rape,

incest and divorce, suicide,

unfaithfulness and violence.

Whether we look at it from a

Christian or non-Christian view

point, the institution is in serious

trouble.

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Marriage is an empty box which

you fill with promises to be

appropriated.

I believe God will restore what

the locusts have eaten in our

families. But we must also

restore the vows that we took.

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Let me remind you; When

people first get married, they

are so anxious, fearful and

tired. 5 years, 10 – 40 or 50 –

marriage is not a contract – it is

a covenant and it is before God.

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MARRIAGE VOWS

I………………..

Take you ………………………..

To be my wedded wife (husband)

To have and to hold, from this day

forward

For better for worse,

For richer for poorer

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In sickness and in health

To love and to cherish (and obey)

Till death do us part,

According to God’s holy ordinance

And thereto, I give you my pledge

(Sign – rings. Where are they now)

“You may now kiss the bride”

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During last Saturday’s wedding after the Bridegroom was asked to kiss the Bride, the congregation in the church was so excited that they demanded again for the Bridegroom to kiss the Bride. I wondered whether the kiss is more important than the vows that had been made.

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LETS LOOK AT THE VOW

1. I take you. It was not by force – it

was a choice

2. To be my lawful wedded

husband/wife .

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3. For Better for Worse; even if

situations are not working well

you need to sort them out.

There are no marriages in

heaven, so work for yours now.

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4. For Richer for Poorer. Riches

can be a blessings or a curse. I

know so many couples, when

they were poor, they loved each

other. But now, each can do

without the other financially, so

they don’t care.

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God has vested interest in this

companionship, because He is looking

forward for it to produce godly children. –

to populate heaven, for Him to share all

that He has in heaven.

Malachi 2:15 – Has not the Lord made them

one? In flesh and spirit they are His. And

why one? Because He was seeking godly

offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit,

and do not break faith with the wife of your

youth.

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5. In sickness and in health.

Sickness is not always

physical. Are you there with

your spouse in times of any

manner of sickness?

Depression, obesity, cancer,

hypertension, etc

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6. To love and cherish (Obey).

Cherish means:

Protect or tend longingly

Hold dear

Cling to

Under cherish, for ladies we say

obey

Cherish…. Read letter of man

upset with his life.

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7. Till death do us part. Divorce has

become so common, even among

Christians.

Malachi 2:16 – God hates it. If you

want to do something that God

hates, then study it:

God hates it

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It affects your children. One

child said to parents – if you

divorce, I will commit suicide

It leaves scars

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8. Now kiss the bride!! When was the last time? I used to think it is the problem of the men until I talked to some and they said – ‘look at those women, are they kissable?’

Naomi to Ruth – wash, perfume and nice dress – story

Night dress

Women ware sending our husbands away!

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Would agree with the Kenyan men? I never agreed with them as I believe you are given a wife and it is your responsibility to make the wife you want from your wife. Don’t compare and contrast. It is the responsibility of the wife too to make the husband she wants from her husband.

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Go back to your dating times

and bring them to your

situations today. You will

amazed and blame yourself. Do

the most to honour your vows.

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FINALLY

Marriages are made in heaven, but maintained here. Wedding is an occasion but marriage is for life. Are you maintaining yours? There is a difference between a well-maintained car and that never goes for service!

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