wedding planner 2013

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W EDDING P LANNER A SPECIAL SECTION OF THE DENISON BULLETIN AND DENISON REVIEW www.DBRnews.com | Friday, February 1, 2013 Denison elementary teacher surprised by proposal by Greg Forbes Although Joe and Morgan (Loew) Stipe both grew up in Carroll, they did not meet until the fall of 2008 at the University of Northern Iowa. They first met a week before Thanksgiving at a mu- tual friend’s house and began dating back in Carroll dur- ing Thanksgiving break. Their relationship continued and grew for nearly three years when Joe, a lab technician for REG Ralston, LLC, was finalizing the purchase of a home in Carroll. Joe told Morgan he needed something from Walmart and asked her to go along. She said yes and on the way home, Joe asked if she wanted to see the house, which had once belonged to her grand- mother. When they got out of the vehicle to look at the house, Joe began talking about Morgan’s past with the house and their future at it. “I pulled the ring out of my coat and proposed to her there,” Joe said and added his gesture caught her off guard. “She didn’t answer for a while.” Morgan, a third grade teacher at 20th Street Elemen- tary School in Denison, eventually regained her ability to speak and answered “yes”. The next day, she and Joe began to plan the wedding. They began by selecting the church, the reception area and the D.J. at the reception. For Joe and Morgan, choos- ing the church was one of the easiest decisions in the planning process. “We knew we wanted it in Holy Spirit,” Morgan said. “My parents got married there and that’s where we had been going.” Morgan and Joe continued to plan the wedding with their families in mind. Joe’s sister helped design the save-the-date cards and the wedding programs. Two of Joe’s great uncles were on the altar during the ceremony; one a monsignor and the other a priest. Father Tim Johnson served as the priest for the wed- ding, which was officiated along traditional Catholic guidelines. Joan Bundt and Abby Murrane provided the music during the ceremony. Following the ceremony, guests welcomed the newly- wed couple at the Lincoln Club in Glidden. “It felt right to have it there,” said Morgan, a Glidden native. STIPE . . . Page 2 Morgan (Loew), third grade teacher at 20th Street Ele- mentary, and Joe Stipe, celebrated their marriage at Holy Spirit Catholic Church in Carroll on August 4, 2012. Joe and Morgan planned a wedding that would allow them to focus on each other instead of high profile decora- tions. Photo submitted “Just keep the focus on each other and your families.” ~ Morgan Stipe

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WEDDING PLANNERA S P E C I A L S E C T I O N O F T H E D E N I S O N B U L L E T I N A N D D E N I S O N R E V I E W

www.DBRnews.com | Friday, February 1, 2013

Denison elementary teachersurprised by proposal

by Greg ForbesAlthough Joe and Morgan (Loew) Stipe both grew up

in Carroll, they did not meet until the fall of 2008 at theUniversity of Northern Iowa.

They first met a week before Thanksgiving at a mu-tual friend’s house and began dating back in Carroll dur-ing Thanksgiving break.

Their relationship continued and grew for nearly threeyears when Joe, a lab technician for REG Ralston, LLC,was finalizing the purchase of a home in Carroll.

Joe told Morgan heneeded something fromWalmart and asked herto go along. She saidyes and on the wayhome, Joe asked if shewanted to see thehouse, which had oncebelonged to her grand-mother.

When they got out of the vehicle to look at the house,Joe began talking about Morgan’s past with the houseand their future at it.

“I pulled the ring out of my coat and proposed to herthere,” Joe said and added his gesture caught her offguard. “She didn’t answer for a while.”

Morgan, a third grade teacher at 20th Street Elemen-tary School in Denison, eventually regained her abilityto speak and answered “yes”.

The next day, she and Joe began to plan the wedding. They began by selecting the church, the reception area

and the D.J. at the reception. For Joe and Morgan, choos-ing the church was one of the easiest decisions in theplanning process.

“We knew we wanted it in Holy Spirit,” Morgan said.“My parents got married there and that’s where we hadbeen going.”

Morgan and Joe continued to plan the wedding withtheir families in mind.

Joe’s sister helped design the save-the-date cards andthe wedding programs. Two of Joe’s great uncles were onthe altar during the ceremony; one a monsignor and theother a priest.

Father Tim Johnson served as the priest for the wed-ding, which was officiated along traditional Catholicguidelines.

Joan Bundt and Abby Murrane provided the musicduring the ceremony.

Following the ceremony, guests welcomed the newly-wed couple at the Lincoln Club in Glidden.

“It felt right to have it there,” said Morgan, a Gliddennative.

STIPE . . . Page 2

Morgan (Loew), third grade teacher at 20th Street Ele-mentary, and Joe Stipe, celebrated their marriage at HolySpirit Catholic Church in Carroll on August 4, 2012.

Joe and Morgan planned a wedding that would allowthem to focus on each other instead of high profile decora-tions. Photo submitted

“Just keep the focus

on each other

and your families.”

~ Morgan Stipe

PAGE 2 FEBRUARY 1, 2013WEDDING PLANNER

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STIPE, from Page 1

“The layout was great and the walls were nice enoughthat we didn’t have to decorate them too much,” Joeadded.

Guests and the wedding party were treated to a mealcatered by The Lincoln Club, and danced to music pro-vided by Spotlight Entertainment.

Some tables were decorated with glass picture framesbearing an etched “S”. Leftover fabric from the purplebridesmaids’ dresses was set behind the picture frame tohighlight the “S”.

The other tables had tall cylinder vases with fake rosesinside. Beads went up the stem to give the rose a sub-merged look.

Morgan stated that the decorations were designed to

provide an elegant touch but not take away from thefamily feel of the wedding.

“We thought the simpler the better,” Morgan said. Joe added, “This was about being with our families

and close friends and not the decorations.”Features of the save-the-dates, the wedding and the

reception were designed to have a subtle baseball theme;a passion of both Joe and Morgan.

The save-the-date cards were designed with a baseballpattern and the reception contained a table filled withpopular baseball snacks and decorated cakes.

During the ceremony, Father Johnson tied an Oriolesjersey – both Johnson and Joe’s favorite team – into hissermon.

“It was a little touch of us,” Morgan said. Since the wedding was August 4 and Morgan was

scheduled to begin her first day of teaching at 20th StreetElementary School in Denison just two days later, thecouple put their honeymoon on hold until Christmasbreak.

They ventured to Riviera Maya, Mexico where Mor-gan was able to cross an item off her bucket list.

“My lifelong dream was to zipline,” Morgan said.Morgan and Joe explained that not everything went

exactly as planned on the wedding day but they wereable to adjust to minor changes without a problem. Theycontinued that the purpose of the wedding day is a cel-ebration of each other, not of details.

“It would’ve ruined the day had we dwelled on the lit-tle things,” Joe said. “Don’t take it (the wedding process)too seriously. Just keep the focus on each other and yourfamilies,” Morgan added.

The right man for the right womanSaying “yes”was the easiestdecision in planning the wedding

by Greg ForbesA set up more than two

years ago has led to a Feb-ruary wedding.

Mandy Bahr, a musicteacher for the Ar-We-Vaschool system, said shewas going to church withPat Kirby. One day, Kirbyand Dr. Rosemary Masonwere talking when Masonsaid she knew a greatyoung man who she wouldlike to see have a girlfriend.

“She said, ‘I know justthe girl,’” said Bahr, recall-ing Kirby’s response toMason.

On November 13, 2010,

she and Todd Lauderbaughofficially began to date.

In July of 2012, Mandyhad been visiting her par-ents as her dad was in poorhealth. When she returned,Todd asked her how thingswere going. After Mandyemotionally explained thesituation to him, Toddpulled out a ring box.

“He said ‘I’ve been wait-ing for the right time and itjust hadn’t happened yet. Isnow the right time?’ And itwas,” Mandy explained.

The wedding is set forFebruary 23 this year.Mandy explained theychose the date because itmatched her school sched-ule well and was also whenthe Manning Hausbarnwould be available for thereception.

They selected the FirstUnited Methodist Church inDenison as the location be-cause of its size.

“That is where he goes tochurch and it’s one of thelarger churches in Denison.I have a big family so weneeded a big place,” Mandysaid.

She continued that Toddinsisted they get married inDenison.

“He said our life is herein Denison,” she stated.

Pastor Richard Kaiserwill officiate the ceremonyand Perry Bekkerus andElizabeth Book, accompa-nied by Patti Bekkerus, willprovide the music.

A string quartet fromCarroll will also play theprelude and postludemusic.

“We are friends withElizabeth and the Bekkerusfamily, so having them wasan easy decision,” she said.

Following the ceremony,guests will venture to theHausbarn in Manning forthe reception.

The room will be decorat-ed with winter themes suchas snowflakes and greenwreathes. The wedding col-ors of blue, silver and whitewill be worked in the deco-rations throughout the re-ception.

The Lidderdale CountryStore will cater the mealand while dining, guestswill enjoy the musical tal-ents of artists such as LouisArmstrong and Patsy Kline.

“Todd’s sister made a CDof some dinner music thatwe like,” she said.

Mandy explained themost difficult part of plan-ning a wedding was thetimeliness of receivingRSVPs

While planning a wed-ding was a stressfulprocess, Mandy explainedwhat she felt was the easi-est decision.

“Saying yes,” she re-sponded.

Todd Lauderbaugh, of Professional Computer Systems andMandy Bahr, a music teacher in the Ar-We-Va school system,will celebrate their wedding on February 23. Photo submitted

FEBRUARY 1, 2013 WEDDING PLANNER PAGE 3

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Heart shapes and sandCCMH employee explains the special days leading to his wedding

by Greg ForbesMichael and Trisha

(Meyer) DeLong, bothCrawford County natives,met more than three yearsago at a softball game. Bothhad mutual friends playingfor the Crawford CountyMemorial Hospital’s(CCMH) slow-pitch teamand had attended the gameto support the team.

They officially began todate August 2, 2009.

The hospital continued tobe a connection for Michaeland Trisha. After they met,Michael received a job inthe radiology department atCCMH while Trisha wasemployed as a paramedic.

When Michael thoughtthe time was right, he pur-chased the ring and thenasked Trisha’s father forpermission. Her father’sinitial response, however,worried Michael.

“I asked her father andhe said, ‘I’ll think about,’”Michael explained andadded he was concernedbecause he had alreadypaid for the ring. “But hejust wanted to ask hermother what she thought.”

Once Michael receivedthe word from Trisha’s fa-ther, he planned the pro-posal. He baked a cheese-cake and cut it in the shapeof a heart and decorated aposter board with heartsand the phrase ‘Will youmarry me?’

Michael said he called Tr-isha at work that day andexplained he had pur-chased something sheneeded to see.

“I surprised her. When Itold her I bought somethingbig and she needed to see,she thought I bought a newgolf club or something,” hestated.

The two immediately set

to plan their special day andbooked Boulder’s Confer-ence Center for the site ofthe reception.

They chose Our SaviorLutheran in Denison for theceremony with PastorDavid Loeschen to serve asthe official. Michael saidTrisha attended the DowCity branch but could notget married there due to thelack of a pastor.

Since both Michael andTrisha have family in Deni-son, Our Savior Lutheranprovided a convenient loca-tion for relatives.

”We also thought havingit in Denison would be a loteasier for our families,”Michael said.

Trisha and Michael se-lected songs they both en-joyed and had an iPod playthe music at the ceremony.

They also took a modernapproach and selected theunity sand ceremony in lieuof the traditional unity can-dle.

A big vase sat on a tablealong with two smallervases. One of the vasescontained a light blue sandand the other white. Theybegan by placing whitesand in the bottom to sym-bolize God as the founda-tion of their unity and thenmixed in the other two col-ors to form a unique de-sign.

“We saw that more cou-ples were doing that. It’s alot easier to display in ahouse than a candle is,too,” Michael said.

Guests then welcomedthe newlywed couple atBoulders. The room wasdecorated with floatingcandle centerpieces andrope lights served as thebackdrop for Michael andTrisha at the head table.

Michael explained that

for the ever popular gartertoss, he wrapped the garteraround a football and threwit to the crowd.

Guests enjoyed a mealcatered by LidderdaleCountry Store and thendanced the night away tothe services of In Kahoots

DJ service. The two were scheduled

to honeymoon at the fami-ly lake house in Okoboji,but an accident just twodays after the wedding puttheir trip on hold.

With everyone’s health incheck, Michael and Trisha

have now planned a vaca-tion to the Dominican Re-public in January of 2014.

Michael explained that inorder to reduce stress tobegin planning the wed-ding immediately.

“Start out early,” he said.“Look out for options. If

you try one of those do ityourself sites, start earlyenough.”

And as for newlywed life,Michael had just a fewwords of simple advice.

“Enjoy life and spendtime together,” Michaelsaid.

Michael and Trisha DeLong met at a Crawford County Memorial Hospital softball game in 2009 and began dating. The two were married three years later in August of 2012 and are planning a honeymoon to the Dominican Republic

in January of 2014. Photo submitted

“Enjoy life and

spend time

together.”

~ Michael DeLong

PAGE 4 FEBRUARY 1, 2013WEDDING PLANNER

Test out wedding musicvendors before you sign

Music is an integral ele-ment of many of life's spe-cial events. The score of amovie can carry a film, anda tender song can bringtears to a person's eyes dur-ing a stage production.

Many couples spend lotsof time choosing a song fortheir first dance at theirwedding. While that song issignificant, couples shoulddevote lots of time to choos-ing a band or deejay for thereception as well.

Statistics compiled from avariety of sources, includingUSA Today, TheKnot.comand Brides magazine, pointout that roughly 80 percentof guests say the thing theyremember most about awedding is the entertain-ment. When asked, manycouples admit they wishthey spent more time andmoney choosing their wed-ding entertainment.

Music helps make memo-ries and gets guests on theirfeet. Those who enjoythemselves most at thewedding are often the peo-ple who are on the dancefloor. It is important to notethat price shouldn't be thedeciding factor for weddingday entertainment. It is cru-cial to see the entertainmentprovider in action to judge

for oneself just how good heor she is.

One of the best ways towitness a deejay or band inaction is to attend a wed-ding where they will beworking. Find out if you canspend a little while peekinginto a wedding and gaugeguests' responses to themusic and find out how theentertainment engages the

crowd. The entertainer maybe able to arrange this witha couple from an upcomingwedding so that you don'tnecessarily have to crashthe wedding. If a musicalentertainment company iswary of letting you see play-ers in action, it may be anindication to look else-where.

Another good way to see

for yourself if the entertain-ment factor is high is to payattention to the bands anddeejays used at weddingsyou attend. If you are plan-ning nuptials in a year orthe months to come, takethe cards or information ofthe entertainers you comeacross at weddings and anyspecial event parties. Ifsomeone is doing an impec-

cable job, there should beno hesitation to hire thatperson for your own wed-ding. Don't be embarrassedto ask a friend or familymember for the name andnumber of their deejay.

If you have specific musicrequirements, such as cul-tural music or certain ver-sions of songs you prefer tobe played, it is key to dis-

cuss this with the deejay orband ahead of time andconfirm they can meet yourneeds. Certain weddingvendors may promise youthe world but fail to deliver.Ask the deejay for a playlistto see his or her selectionsfor the wedding. Find out ifthe band has a compilationthey can send to you so youcan see how they soundperforming some of themore popular songs typical-ly played at wedding recep-tions.

If you like a particularband or deejay, double-check that the people yousee playing are actually theones who will be perform-ing at your wedding. Manytimes performers are part oflarger companies that havemany people working underone name. If you're notcareful, you may not get thesame performer you hadhoped for. Request specificindividuals if you want toguarantee that the musicwill be what you heard at aprevious wedding or duringa trial performance.

Music can make or breaka wedding reception. Investample time into selectingand trying out vendors toensure fun is to be had byall.

Spending time and money selecting the right band or deejay can ensure your wedding is a fun-filled event. Photo submitted

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be one of the most memo-rable parts of a couple'swedding. Sometimes atoast is memorable for itshumor and heartfelt senseof appreciation for thegroom and his bride, whileother toasts are more mem-orable for all the wrong rea-sons.

One of the reasons bestman toasts can be so un-predictable is that giving abest man toast is such aunique experience. It'ssomething many mennever do, while those whodo give a best man toastmay only do it once in alifetime. It's understandableto be nervous when askedto give a best man toast, buta best man can employ afew techniques to calmthose nerves and ensure histoast is memorable for allthe right reasons.Practice makes perfect.

Few people are capable ofstanding in front of a crowdof people and speaking offthe cuff. A best man shouldtake this into account andpractice his speech beforethe big day. A spur-of-the-moment speech may pro-vide an adrenaline rush,but such an endeavor maycome off as if you didn't

care enough to put the ef-fort into writing a thought-ful toast ahead of time. Inaddition, practicing thetoast once it's been writtenwill make you feel morecomfortable and confidentin front of the crowd. If pos-sible, practice in front of afriend or family member soyou can solicit feedback. Afriend or relative might beable to help you fine-tunethe speech, which in turncan calm your nerves onceyou're handed the micro-phone.Avoid alcohol.

Getting liquored up priorto your toast is a recipe fordisaster. Though it mayseem like a good idea toemploy alcohol to calm yournerves and lower your in-hibitions, it's not a goodidea. Consuming alcoholbefore your toast increasesthe chance that you will endup embarrassing the brideand groom as well as your-self. Get to the point.

Men and women whohave attended their fairshare of wedding recep-tions no doubt have satthrough a long-windedtoast from the best man ormaid of honor. Such toastscan bring a festive reception

to a grinding halt, andguests will likely tune outbefore the best man or maidof honor gets to the point.Being succinct should be agoal for a best man with re-gard to his toast. Avoidlong-winded walks downMemory Lane in favor of atoast that thoughtfully cutsto the chase and lets every-one get back to celebrating.Spin a yarn.

While it's important to bebrief, don't be so brief thatno one at the receptionlearns about your relation-ship to the groom. Share ahumorous anecdote fromyour mutual past to illus-trate the type of relation-ship you and the groomshare with one another.This story should have anelement of humor but don'tinclude anything too em-barrassing, and all ex-girl-friends should be consid-ered off-limits.Congratulate the couple.

Because nerves play sucha significant part in manybest man toasts, it can beeasy to forget to congratu-late both the bride andgroom.

Don't just toast the groomat the end of your best manspeech; toast his new brideas well.

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Simple ways to save on your weddingAccording to a 2012 re-

port in Brides magazine,the average American cou-ple spends just less than$27,000 on their wedding.Clearly couples can expectto invest a substantialamount of money for theirweddings.

While many couples findthe cost of a wedding iswell worth it, others wouldlike to find ways to save sotheir big day isn't a budg-et-buster.

Such savings aren't al-ways easy to come by, es-pecially for couples with avery distinctive picture inmind of what their wed-ding should be.

However, even couplesstrongly committed to acertain wedding stylemight change their mindsonce they realize howmuch such a dream wed-ding will cost.

For those couples as wellas couples who simplywant to save some money,following are a few ideasto avoid busting the budg-et without venturing toofar from a dream wedding.Trim the guest list.

The guest list is perhapsthe easiest place to beginsaving money. Many re-

ception halls will charge bythe head, so consider ifyou really need to invite150 guests or if 100 willdo.

Such trimming can saveyou a substantial amountof money.

For example, a catererthat charges $20 per guestwill cost couples with aguest list of 150 $3,000 forthe reception alone. Cut-ting that guest list to 100reduces that cost by$1,000.

When putting togetherthe guest list, removethose candidates whowould best be described asacquaintances. This caninclude coworkers withwhom you don't socialize,as well as old collegefriends to whom you rarelyspeak. Distant cousins youhaven't spoken to in yearscan also be cut from thelist.Don't go overboard onthe gown.

Styles are ever-chang-ing, so there's a strongchance brides won't bepassing down their wed-ding gowns to their owndaughters someday.

What's popular now willlikely seem outdated by

the time your daughterwalks down the aisle. Keepthis in mind when shop-ping for a wedding dress,which can be made in thesame design as the oneyou try on but with cheap-er fabrics that are a frac-tion of the cost.

The disparity betweengown costs in the UnitedStates and Canada shouldpaint a good picture of howeasily brides can savemoney on their gowns.

According to a survey ofwedding trends conductedby Weddingbells, an onlineresource for Canadianbrides, the average Cana-dian bride in 2011 spentjust under $1,800 on herwedding gown, while theaverage American bridespends roughly $1,100 onher gown.

Though the reasons forthat disparity are unclear,it's safe to say there aresavings to be had forbrides who don't want tobreak the bank paying fortheir wedding gowns.Get married in the off-season.

Many couples prefer toget married sometime be-tween the months of Maythrough October. During

these months, venues andvendors, including limou-sine services, caterers,photographers, musicians,and deejays, are more ex-pensive.

If you are willing to

switch your wedding dateto the off-season you cansave a substantial amountof money. In addition, youlikely won't face as muchcompetition for the bestvenues and vendors as

you will during the peakwedding season.Trim your beveragebudget.

The bar tab at the end ofthe reception can be con-siderable, but you can findways to save money whileensuring your guests canstill toast you and yourswith a few libations.

Rather than offering afull bar, limit the choices tobeer and wine, which willbe perfectly acceptable tomost guests anyway. Inaddition, rather than pay-ing the caterer for thewine, buy your own andyou'll save a considerableamount of money.

You may have to pay thecaterer a fee to pour thewine, but that fee is negli-gible compared to whatyou'd pay the company toprovide the wine.Choose a buffet-styledinner over waiter serv-ice.

Many guests will nodoubt prefer a buffet-styledinner instead of waiterservice, so take advantageof that and choose a moreaffordable buffet-style din-ner that allows diners tochoose their own entreesand side dishes.

A bride who's willing to be flexible with respect to herwedding gown can save a substantial amount of money.Photo submitted

PAGE 8 FEBRUARY 1, 2013WEDDING PLANNER

7 Bridal(winter2013/Bonner Photo)BS

What to expect with a civil ceremonyMany people dream of a

wedding in a church orsynagogue before dozensof family members andfriends, while there areothers who prefer to forgothe fanfare of a large wed-ding ceremony and arecontent with a civil wed-ding instead. Civil cere-monies are often a choicefor couples who may havedifferent religious beliefsor do not belong to a par-ticular religious persua-sion. In lieu of beingpresided over by a pastor,priest or rabbi, civil cere-monies are conducted byan authorized official, suchas a judge or justice of thepeace.

The marriage also can beperformed by a licensedwedding officiant. De-pending on where a couplelives, mayors or even no-tary publics can solemnizea marriage. Pilots and shipcaptains also may be ableto preside over the ceremo-ny. Some states andprovinces will allow any-one to solemnize a wed-ding, provided they havefiled for a special permit forthe day. In terms of loca-tion, the most basic of civilceremonies take place atthe county courthouse,where paperwork is imme-

diately filed. Ceremoniesalso occur at city hall.

Couples can choose tohire an officiant to go toanother location to overseethe marriage ceremony.The latter is the more ex-pensive option and will bebased on the officiant'sschedule.

The structure of a civilmarriage is much more laxthan those which followthe more traditionalcourse. Rather than beingrequired to wear a certainwardrobe or meet with therequirements of a particu-lar church or other houseof worship, couples oftenfind flexibility with thecivil route. Although somebrides and grooms preferto wear a tuxedo or suitand a wedding gown, it isnot necessary to do so.Many couples have tied theknot in more casual cloth-ing or even costumes.

In order to participate ina civil ceremony, couplesmust secure a marriage li-cense. This is usually ob-tained by a county recorderor another officer ofrecords where the couplelives. Regulations will varyas to the time period inwhich the ceremony can bedone after the marriage li-cense is received. Some li-

censes may be voided ifthe couple does not tie theknot within a few days ofsecuring the license.

When the ceremony willtake place is generally upto the couple and, if amember of the judiciarywill be overseeing thewedding, the courthouse.Some courts require an ap-pointment for the wedding,while others may have a

walk-in policy. Determinethese policies well in ad-vance of the wedding day.

Often a fee is collectedfor the wedding ceremonyin addition to what waspaid for the marriage li-cense. For those hiring aprivate officiant, the feewill be much higher thanwhat a clerk of the courtwill cost. The couple willneed to bring the marriage

license and photo identifi-cation. Two witnesses alsowill need to be presentwith their own photo-graphic identification.These witnesses will beneeded to sign the mar-riage certificate.

Because no firm tradi-tion exists with civil cere-monies, couples may needto be more hands-on whenit comes to executing the

wedding. Following aresome tips to consider.

An officiant may not or-ganize the wedding,meaning it will be up to thecouple to choose vows,arrange where people willstand, request any clericalblessings, or include anyother special elements.

Some officiants enjoypresiding over weddings,while others see it as just apart of public duty. Couplescan try to find an officiantwho meets with their ap-proval and will keep withthe tone that is expected ofthe ceremony.

For those adding per-sonal vows, keep thembrief and tailored to the oc-casion.

Know how many peoplecan attend the ceremony inadvance. Couples shouldrecognize that space couldbe limited and restricted toonly a few people if thewedding is taking place atthe courthouse.

Arrange the venue for aparty afterward. Couplesmay choose to record avideo of the ceremony forplayback at a reception toenable those who were notin attendance to be part ofthe special moment wherethe rings and vows wereexchanged.

Many couples forgo a religious ceremony, opting instead for one that is presided overby a civil officiant at a courthouse or another location. Photo submitted

FEBRUARY 1, 2013 WEDDING PLANNER PAGE 9

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Telling people to save the dateMore and more couples

planning to walk down theaisle are embracing save-the-date cards to giveguests adequate notice thatthere is a party on the hori-zon. Save-the-date cardsdo more than let guestsknow when you're gettingmarried. The cards are apreliminary way to keepguests informed and letthem know they are, in fact,on the guest list. Thesecards haven't always beenso popular but have risen inpopularity due to longer en-gagement periods, a grow-ing number of destinationweddings and the growingnumber of couples withguests from all over thecountry, if not the world.

As people often planbusiness trips, vacationsand other excursions sev-eral months in advance,save-the-date cards helpsecure a greater number ofattendees at your wedding.

Save-the-date announce-ments can vary in manyways. They may be post-cards or magnets that canbe attached to a refrigeratordoor. If you desire a cohe-sive theme to your weddingstationery, select the save-the-date cards at the sametime you choose your wed-ding invitations. This wayyou can ensure that thepatterns, fonts, colors, orstyle of the cards willmatch. It will also help con-vey the tone of the wed-

ding. Guests often taketheir cues regarding thelevel of formality of thewedding from the type ofstationery couples choose.

When to send out thesave-the-date announce-ments is important as well.As a general rule of thumb,it is wise to mail out the

cards six months in ad-vance for a standard wed-ding. If the wedding re-quires travel or extendedovernight accommoda-tions, you may want to mailthem out eight months to ayear in advance to giveguests the time to investi-gate flight costs and hotel

arrangements. A weddingalso may necessitate plan-ning a vacation or personaltime off from work. There-fore, ample advanced noticeis advisable.

Be sure to make yourguest list in advance ofsending out save-the-datecards. Everyone who re-

ceives a card should also besent an invitation prior tothe wedding. Remember toinclude any members ofyour planned weddingparty in the list of recipi-ents. Just because a personhas verbally confirmed at-tendance at your weddingdoesn't mean they should

be excluded from subse-quent announcements.Guests may talk to one an-other and it is best to avoidhurt feelings and anyadded drama before thewedding by treating every-one equally.

Be sure to include thewedding date, your namesand the location of the wed-ding on the save-the-datecards.

You do not need to offerRSVP information or de-tailed specifics at this time.You may want to include aWeb site URL on the card soguests can check it fre-quently for updates onwedding information. Besure to also include that aformal invitation will followat a later date. You do notwant to cause confusion byhaving guests think thatthe save-the-date card isthe actual invitation. Also,make sure you address thesave-the-date cards cor-rectly to show your inten-tions with respect to guestinvites.

For example, be clearabout whether children willbe invited and whether aboyfriend/girlfriend or an-other guest can tag along.

Although save-the-datecards are not a necessity,they have become a popularpart of wedding planning toeliminate confusion aboutinvitations as well as helpguests plan time off foryour wedding.

Save-the-date cards do more than let guests know when you're getting married. The cards are a preliminary way to keepguests informed and let them know they are, in fact, on the guest list.

FEBRUARY 1, 2013 WEDDING PLANNER PAGE 11

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How to find the right banquethall for your big day

Planning a wedding is no small feat, as couples arefaced with many decisions seemingly from the momentthey get engaged right up until they walk down the aisleas man and wife.

One of the biggest decisions a couple will make iswhere to host the reception. Couples must consider a va-riety of factors when looking for the right banquet hallto host their reception. The wedding is a celebration, andthe banquet hall is where the couple and their guestswill let their hair down and enjoy a festive and memo-rable night.

Because the reception is typically the most lengthy por-tion of a couple's wedding day, it's important to find aplace where everyone can be comfortable and enjoythemselves. The following are a few tips for couples look-ing to find the ideal banquet hall to host their weddingreception.Get advice.

Ask friends or family members who got married in thesame town where your ceremony will be if they can rec-ommend a reception site. These friends or family mem-bers can provide a behind-the-scenes look at a recep-tion hall, from how accommodating the staff was to howflexible the banquet hall was with regard to pricing tohow open the staff was to suggestions.

Wedding planning isn't easy, so if friends, family mem-bers or coworkers recommend a hassle-free banquet hall,that recommendation can remove a lot of the stress fromplanning a wedding.Consider the size of the facility.

Some couples prefer an intimate affair with relativelyfew guests, while others will desire a large wedding partywith lots of guests.

Couples can find a banquet hall that's capable of cater-

ing to small or large wedding parties, but find one thatfits your party specifically. If your wedding party is small,then avoid a larger facility that will appear empty. If theparty is large, make sure there's adequate room so guestswon't feel like they're sitting on top of one another dur-ing dinner and dessert.Don't downplay decor.

A banquet hall with an attractive decor is not only aes-thetically appealing but can appeal to a couple's financesas well. Such a hall likely won't need any additional dec-orations, while a banquet hall that's unadorned and lacksembellishments will, and those decorations can dip intoa couple's overall wedding budget. Compare the costs ofthe more decorated banquet hall with the one that's moreplain in appearance, factoring in the cost to decorate thelatter, and you might just realize the one with more aes-thetic appeal is more affordable in the long run.

Prioritize privacy. Few couples would be open to strangers having easy

access to their wedding reception. When shopping for abanquet hall, look for one that gives you and your guestsall the privacy you need. Many couples have taken tohosting the entire ceremony at a hotel, which may han-dle the bulk of the planning and remove the hassle oftransportation for out-of-town guests. However, couplesconsidering a hotel should look for one that can prom-ise privacy from other guests at the hotel who aren't therefor the wedding.

The reception room should be secluded from the restof the hotel so other guests walking by aren't tempted towalk in on the festivities. The banquet hall is where cou-ples can expect to spend most of their time on their wed-ding day, so couples should exercise their due diligenceto ensure they find an inviting and festive facility.

A wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event for many couples,so brides and grooms wish for the event to be momentousand memorable.

As such, couples are increasingly integrating personalnuances into their ceremonies and receptions to tailor wed-dings to their unique visions.

The desire to include personalized wedding vows contin-ues to be a popular trend. If you are considering personal-ized wedding vows, first realize that it may not be a simpletask.

That's because you want the message conveyed to bedear to your heart, and that can be challenging when facedwith the pressures and planning of the rest of the wedding.

That isn't to say that writing your own vows is impossi-ble. Following are some guidelines for personalizing yourceremony with your own sentiments.Schedule time for writing.

Amid the bustle of dress fittings and interviews with pho-tographers, it can be easy to put off the important task ofwriting vows for another day. But as any great writer canattest, it takes writing, and rewriting, to achieve a finishedproduct you can be proud of. Give the task of writing yourvows your undivided attention. Mark it in on your calendaror set a reminder on your computer just as you would anyother appointment.Be aware of ceremony guidelines.

It is best to check with your officiant and confirm thatpersonalized wedding vows are allowed. During civil cere-monies it's often acceptable to customize vows as you seefit. However, during religious ceremonies there may be linesof scripture that need to be read or certain passages re-quired. Before you spend hours working on the task, besure that it is allowed and that your spouse and you are onthe same page.Jot down your feelings.

Answer some questions about what marriage means toyou and how you feel about your spouse. Try to avoid tritesayings and think from your heart and personal experi-ences. Think about what is the most important thing youwant to promise to your future partner. These notes can

serve as the starting points for the actual vows.Read inspirational writings.

Perhaps there is an author or a poet who inspires you. Youcan quote certain writers in your vows or let the tone oftheir works help shape the words of your vows. Suggestedwedding readings and other quotes about marriage arereadily available at the library or with a quick search online.Decide on a tone.

Although the day is based on love and affection, you maynot feel comfortable spouting words of adoration in front offriends and family. Feel free to tap into your unique per-sonality. Humor can be used if it aligns with the way younormally express your affections. Be sure to weave this toneinto more traditional passages to create a cohesive expres-sion of your feelings.Establish an outline.

Put together all of the words and phrases you've jotteddown into an outline to help you organize the flow of the

vows, using these words as a blueprint for the vows andbuilding upon them. Make sure the vows will be concise.Aim for your entire speech to be around one minute inlength to keep everyone engaged and the ceremony mov-ing along.Put everything together.

Draft your vows and then practice them by reading outloud. You want to avoid long sentences or anything thattrips you up. Although large words may sound impressive,they could make the vows seem too academic and not nec-essarily heartfelt. Enlist the help of a friend or two to act asyour audience to see if the vows sound good and are easi-ly understandable. Writing your own vows can be a way toinclude personal expressions of love into a couple's weddingday. Public speaking is seldom easy, nor is finding the per-fect words to convey feelings about a future spouse. How-ever, with some practice and inspiration, anyone can draftpersonalized vows.

PAGE 12 FEBRUARY 1, 2013WEDDING PLANNER

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Close friends and familymembers are an importantcomponent of a couple'swedding day. Individualswho are especially close tothe bride and groom areoften asked to becomemembers of the weddingparty, which means a bride-to-be will be asking one ormore women to play an in-tegral role in the celebra-tion.

To set these ladies apartfrom other guests at thewedding, they are oftenasked to wear coordinatingbridesmaid gowns. Select-ing a style and color that isfitting to the unique peopleof the bridal party can bechallenging, but it's not im-possible.

As if choosing your maidof honor wasn't trickyenough, you now mustmake a host of other deci-sions as well, all while play-ing stylist to the weddingparty. Fashion sense is asunique as a fingerprint, andit is unlikely the brides-maids will be able to agreeon every aspect of thegowns they will be asked towear.

However, you can narrowdown the choices and be asaccommodating as possible

to their needs. Size matters: the body

shapes and sizes of thewomen in your bridal partywill be different, and thisshould be kept in mindwhen selecting a gownstyle and cut. Certain dressshapes are universally flat-tering, such as A-line. Tryto avoid gowns that are ex-tremely form-fitting, asonly a few of the brides-maids may be able to pulloff this look successfully.The remainder could be leftfeeling self-conscious anduncomfortable. Plus, form-fitting clothing will be re-strictive and can be difficultto move around in - partic-ularly considering thegown will be worn for anentire day.

Flattering color: as abride you may have a col-orscape in your mind forthe wedding. But whatlooks good in table linensand flowers is not alwaysthe right choice for clothing.Take the skin tones andhair colors of your brides-maids into considerationbefore choosing a dress.Green- and yellow-hueddresses may not look niceon women with olive skintones, while very pale col-

ors may wash out womenwith fair skin. Those withdark skin may need abrighter-colored dress.Price tag: it is an honor tobe asked to be part of abridal party, but that honorcan be very expensive. Thebridesmaids are expected topay for their wardrobe, hairstyling, and makeup, aswell as parties and gifts forthe happy couple. As acourtesy to the women who

already will be investing aconsiderable amount to bea part of your wedding,make every effort to select agown that is affordable.Plenty of retailers offer styl-ish options that may not beas expensive as some spe-cialty stores.

Other tips: once you'vedecided on the basic ele-ments, consider the follow-ing suggestions to find agown that the bridal party

will enjoy.Take one or two brides-maids shopping withyou. Try to select oneswith opposite body typesso you can see how thegown looks on a womanwho is thin and one whomay be more full-figured.Think about choosingseparates. The brides-maids can mix and matchtops and bottoms to finda fit that works. This may

enable a woman with alarger bust size to select atop with supportivestraps while anotherbridesmaid can opt forstrapless. Many storeshave increased their in-ventory of separates be-cause of their growingpopularity.Choose one color andthen let the bridesmaidschoose the style they likethe best for themselves.The look will still be co-hesive, but it won't beboring with one type ofgown. Also, each brides-maid will be comfortablewith a gown that flattersher shape.Go with a tea-lengthgown. These gowns havebecome quite trendy andare less formal and cum-bersome than full-lengthgowns. Plus, there is agreater likelihood thatthe gown can be usedagain at a later date.Purchase the bridesmaidgowns at the same storewhere you will be pur-chasing your weddinggown. Most shops willoffer a courtesy discountif the bridesmaid gownsare purchased at thesame store.

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A little patience can help a bride-to-be select bridesmaid gowns that are flattering to allthe members of her bridal party. Photo submitted

PAGE 14 FEBRUARY 1, 2013WEDDING PLANNER

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Weddings are a celebra-tion wherein guests lookforward to the reception asmuch as the actual cere-mony, and the food servedat the wedding is oftenhotly anticipated.

Wedding receptions fea-ture a bevy of differentfoods to tempt the palatesof those in attendance.From appetizers servedduring the cocktail hour tothe last crumb of cake,food plays a big role in awedding reception. Choos-ing foods for a receptioncan take a little fore-thought, especially whenthe wedding party is espe-cially large. Following area few suggestions to en-sure most guests are happywith the menu selections.

The first rule of thumb isvariety. As much asbudget allows, giveguests the choice overwhat they dine on. Dur-ing the cocktail hour, if

there is one, couples canplay with many differenttastes and offerings. Forthose who want to becreative, this is the timeto do so. Exotic flavorscan be served alongsidemore traditional offer-ings that guests recog-nize. For example, offerAsian fusion appetizersthat may have spicealongside more tradi-tional items, like minia-ture quiches.During the main courseof the meal, give guests afew options. Most cater-ing facilities will offersuggestions in their mealpackages. Couples cantypically choose to offera meat dish, a poultryand a seafood. Thiscaters to a wide varietyof diners.It is important for cou-ples to recognize thatmany people have foodallergies or are on re-

stricted diets. While itmay not be possible toprovide for everyone'sspecific requirements, itis possible to make someaccommodations. Askthe catering managerhow his company pro-vides for guests who arevegetarians or vegans.Ensure that the meal willnot be simply a bunch ofgarnishes and vegetableside dishes lumped to-

gether. In addition, couplesshould recognize thatmany people have nowadopted gluten-freelifestyles. More and morerestaurants and estab-lishments have expand-ed their offerings to in-clude gluten-free items,so it is important for thebride and groom to con-firm. People who are di-abetic and must limit

their consumption ofsugars and carbohy-drates may appreciate aselection of sugar-freedesserts or lower carbo-hydrate foods. Whencouples focus on meetingthe needs of their guests,it shows they have put inthe effort to make every-one feel welcome andcomfortable at the wed-ding.Food and drink will be

some of the most costlyportions of a wedding,and couples who are in-terested in keeping costsdown can still offer qual-ity foods if they makesome changes. Varyingthe time of day that thewedding takes place canenable a brunch orluncheon wedding totake place. These foodsare often less expensiveand labor-intensive toprepare, and thereforethe cost savings arepassed down to the brideand groom. Some cou-ples opt for a cocktailand hors d'oeuvre-onlyreception, which shouldclearly be indicated onthe invitation so thatguests can plan accord-ingly. An informal wed-ding may feature only aselection of desserts andspecialty liquors. Thismay be the least expen-sive option.

Variety is the spice of life with wedding cuisine

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Wedding receptions run the gamut from small, inti-mate gatherings in a restaurant to large spectacles fea-turing hundreds of guests inside a banquet hall. At theheart of any wedding reception is the desire to present amemorable party for all in attendance.

That being said, couples can take some steps to addextra indulgence to wedding receptions and really setthem apart from the mundane.

With the average cost of weddings now teeteringaround $28,000, couples certainly are pulling out ex-pensive stops to treat guests to a good party. Many cou-ples want to add special touches to the wedding that willshow guests how much they are appreciated and to maketheir celebration different from previous weddings. Fol-lowing are some ways to do that.Butler-passed hors d'oeuvres

During the cocktail hour guests are mingling and tak-ing advantage of the opportunity to engage in conversa-tion. This may be the last real opportunity to chatamongst one another before the volume of the band ordeejay drowns out discussions. Rather than disrupt theflow of conversation to make a trip to the food stations,choose butler-passed hors d'oeuvres to bring food rightto the guests. It lends a feeling of indulgence and is alsoa convenient way to keep guests satiated.Valet parking

Some wedding venues provide on-site valet parking.However, if you're using a restaurant or banquet hall thatdoes not provide this service, you can hire a valet com-pany to do the parking for guests. While you will bewhisked to and fro in the back of a limousine, guests willhave to do their own driving. Being able to exit the carright in front of the venue and not worry about finding

a parking space will be convenient for guests.Emergency toiletries baskets

Rather than spending money on an extra floralarrangement for the men's and women's restrooms, pur-chase items that can be grouped into a handy basket. Forwomen, include items such as extra pairs of stockings,spray deodorant, sanitary items and sewing kits. Formen, mints or mouthwash, dental floss, cologne andstain removal pens may come in handy. In the event thata minor mishap occurs during the wedding, guests willhave items at their disposal to remedy it.Specialty courses

In addition to the cocktail hour and the main meal, youmay be able to arrange specialty stations for guests withparticular palates or interests. When ethnic customs areincluded in a wedding, menu items can be geared aroundnative dishes. Candy and dessert bars are also popular tohave at weddings, particularly if children are invited. Aflambe dessert presentation is both a spectacle and atreat.Overnight accommodations

For the wedding that will run into the wee hours of themorning, offer guests a place to stay nearby to removethe hassle of driving home at a late hour. Some receptionhalls have arrangements with nearby hotels. For thosethat don't, negotiate a discounted rate for weddingguests. Many do and will set aside a block of rooms foryour event with a discount code. You may want to treatguests who choose to stay over to a complementarybreakfast the next day as one final show of appreciation.Special seating

Guests who may have mobility issues or difficultyhearing may appreciate being seated in certain spots for

convenience. Seat the elderly or handicapped close to theexits and the restrooms if possible. When choosing a re-ception room, confirm the distance to the restrooms tomake it convenient for those who may not be able to walkfar. Those who may be sensitive to the music can be seat-ed away from the speakers. And of course, every attemptshould be made to seat individuals who may have con-flicts with others away from one another.Birthday and anniversary mentions

You can notify the band or deejay of any guests in at-tendance who may be celebrating their own specialevents on your wedding day or in close proximity.

Make guests feel special with these extra touches

Arranging overnight accommodations for guests, com-plete with complementary breakfast, is a welcome touch forthose who don't want to travel home once the wedding isover. Photo submitted

PAGE 16 FEBRUARY 1, 2013WEDDING PLANNER

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