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Chapter 05Planning, Composing,

and Revising

Good WritersComposing ActivitiesHalf-Truths

Ten Ways to Make Writing Easier to ReadRevise, Edit, and Proofread

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Ways Good Writers Write

Revise first draftsWrite regularlyBreak big jobs into small chunksFocus on purpose, audienceChoose from several different strategies Use rules flexiblyFinish a draft before editing text

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Basic Composing Activities: Planning

Analyze problem, define purposes, analyze audiencesBrainstorm information to includeGather informationSelect the points you want to makeChoose organization pattern

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Basic Composing Activities: Writing

Put ideas into words on paper or screen• Make a list• Develop headings• Jot notes • Do stream-of-

consciousness writing• Create drafts

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Basic Composing Activities: Revising

Evaluate in terms of audience, goals, and situation• Will audience understand it?• Is it complete?• Is it convincing? Friendly?Get feedback from someone elseAdd, delete, substitute, or rearrange single words or large sections

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Basic Composing Activities: Editing

Focus on surface of message • Standard English

Grammar and spellingCapitalization and punctuation

• Business principlesBuild goodwillUse conventional format

Proofread; correct typographical errors

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More About Composing Activities

Don’t have to do in specific orderDon’t have to finish one to start anotherDon’t have to use all activities for every message

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Half-Truths about Style

1. Write as you talk2. Never use I3. Never use You4. Never begin sentence with And or But5. Never end sentence with preposition6. Big words impress people7. Never use sentences with more than 20

words, or paragraphs with more than 8 lines

1/2

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Write as You Talk: Yes . . . But

Yes• Do it for first draft• Read draft aloud to testBut • Expect awkward, repetitive, badly organized

prose • Plan to revise and edit

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Never Use I: Yes . . . But

Yes• I can make writing seem self-centered• I can make ideas seem tentativeBut• Use I to tell what you did, said, saw—it’s

smoother

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Never Use You: Yes . . . But

Yes• Writing to familiar audiences• Describing audience benefits• Writing sales textBut• Avoid in formal reports or other situations

where formality is required• Negative news: Don’t connect the reader.

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Never Begin Sentence with And or But

And may make idea seem like afterthoughtAnd gives effect of natural speechBut serves as a signpost, signals a shiftBut can make writing smoother

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Never End a Sentence with a Preposition: Yes . . . But

Yes• A preposition may not be worth

emphasizing this way• Readers expect something to follow a

preposition• Avoid in job application letters, reports,

formal presentationsBut• OK now and then

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Big Words Impress People: Yes . . . But

Yes• You may want to show formality or

technical expertiseBut• Big words distance you from audiences• Big words may be misunderstood• Misused words make you look foolish

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Never Use Sentences With More Than 20 Words, or Paragraphs With More Than 8 Lines

Yes• Sometimes long sentences and paragraphs

can be difficult to readBut• Long sentences with parallel clauses may

be clear• Longer paragraphs with bulleted lists may

be clear• Use the expectations of your audience,

context, and purpose

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Ten Ways to Make Your Writing Easy to Read

As you choose words—1. Use accurate, appropriate, and familiar

words2. Avoid technical jargon; eliminate

business jargon

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Ten Ways to Make Your Writing Easy to Read, continued…

As you write and revise sentences—3. Use active voice most of the time4. Use verbs—not nouns—to carry weight of

sentence5. Eliminate wordiness6. Vary sentence length and structure7. Use parallel structure8. Put readers in your sentences

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Ten Ways to Make Your Writing Easy to Read, continued…

As you write and revise paragraphs—9. Begin most with topic sentence10.Use transitions to link ideas

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1. Use Accurate, Appropriate Words

Denotation—literal meanings; dictionary definitions • Bypassing—two people using same word

to mean different things; causes mix-upsConnotation—emotional association; attitude

- / +nosy / curiousfearful / cautiousobstinate / firmtax / user fee

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2. Use Familiar Words

Words most people knowWords that best convey your meaningShorter, more common wordsSpecific, concrete words

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2. Use Short, Simple Alternatives

Stuffy Simplereside livecommence beginenumerate listfinalize finish, completeutilize use

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2. Avoid Jargon—Mostly

Jargon—special terms of technical field• Use in job application

letters• Use when essential and

known to audience• Replace with plain

English, when possible

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2. Omit Business Jargon & Clichés

Businessese—needless, old-fashioned wording, overused tired expressionsExample AlternativeEnclosed please find Here isAs per your request As you askedI acknowledge receipt of (begin reply)The undersigned Me

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3. Use Active Voice

Active—subject of sentence does action the verb describes: Used most in business writing.

Passive—subject is acted upon• Usually includes form of “to be” verb• Change to active if you can• Direct object becomes subject

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3. Passive vs. Active Voice

P:The program will be implemented by the agencies.

A:The agencies will implement the program.

P:These benefits are received by you.

A:You receive these benefits.P:A video was ordered.A:The customer ordered a video.

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3. Passive vs. Active Voice, continued…

Active voice is better because—• Shorter• Clearer• More interestingPassive voice is better to—

• Emphasize object receiving action• Give coherence by repeating

word in previous sentence• Avoid placing blame

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4. Use verbs: Avoid hidden verbs

Replace this phrase with a verb

make an adjustmentmake a decisionperform an examinationtake into consideration

= adjust= decide= examine= consider

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5. Eliminate Wordiness

Wordy—idea can be said in fewer wordsConcise; a mark of good writing• Omit words that say nothing • Combine sentences to save

words• Put the meaning in subject

and verb

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5. Omit Words that Say Nothing

Cut words if idea is clear without them• . . . period of three months• . . . at the present timeReplace wordy phrases

Not: Let me know as to whether or not we can start drilling in view of the fact that the problem has not been fixed at the present time.

But: Let me know whether we can start drilling since the problem has not yet been fixed.

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Lard Factor

Thomas Jefferson once observed that “the most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.”

Fully 1/3 of a first draft is lard; hence, it can be cut out.Fun fact:• The Lord’s Prayer contains 66 words, the

Gettysburg Address contains 267 words, but a recent government regulation on the sale of cabbage contains 26,911 words.

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5. Combine Sentences to Save Words: Example

• Infante projected sales of $43 million in the first quarter. Our actual sales have fallen short of that figure by $1.9 million.

• Although Infante projected first-quarter sales of $43 million, actual sales are $1.9 million less than that.

wordy

tight

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5. Put Meaning of Sentence in Subject & Verb: Example

• The reason we are recommending the computerization of this process is because it will reduce the time required to obtain data and will give us more accurate data.

• Computerizing the process will give us more accurate data more quickly.

wordy

tight

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6. Vary Sentence Length and Structure

Edit sentences for tightnessUse short sentences when subject matter is complicatedUse longer sentences to• Show how ideas link to each other• Avoid choppy sentences• Reduce repetitionGroup words into chunksKeep verb close to subject

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7. Use Parallel Structure: Example

During the interview, job candidates will• Take a skills test.• The supervisor will interview the prospective employee.• A meeting with recently hired workers will be held.

During the interview, job candidates will• Take a skills test.• Interview with the supervisor. • Meet with recently hired workers.

faulty

parallel

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8. Put Readers in Your Sentences: Example

An election to name a beneficiary other than the participant’s spouse must be made with spousal consent, for any participant who is married.If you are married, you need your spouse’s consent to name a beneficiary other than your spouse.

“You” gives the second example more impact

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9. Begin Most Paragraphs with Topic Sentence

Unity—discusses one idea; a mark of good writingTopic sentence—states main idea• Tells what paragraph is about• Forecasts paragraph’s structure• Helps readers remember points

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10. Use Transitions to Link Ideas

Transition—signals the connections between ideas to the reader• Tells if next sentence continues or starts new

idea • Tells if next sentence is more or less

important than previous• Examples: in addition, similarly,

for example, however, on the other hand

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Techniques of Emphasis

Short, simple sentencesMajor idea first (or last)Active voiceMore spaceLanguage that implies importanceRepetitionMechanical meansEnsure your writing does this appropriately: Don’t mislead your reader.

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Emphasis—Example A

Dear Dad:$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ offriend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my$tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.Love,Your $on

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Emphasis—Example B

Dear Son:I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, andoceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget thatthe pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task,and you can never study eNOugh.Love,Dad

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Revise, Edit, and Proofread

Revise – change content, organization, and tone to satisfy purposes and audiencesEdit – change mechanical flaws, grammar errorsProofread – correct typing errors

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When You Revise

Revise draft three times or more1. Content and clarity2. Organization and layout3. Tone and styleRead the document from start to finishDo light revision when time is short

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When You Edit

Revise first; then editEdit hard copy, not screenCheck errors you often make:• Sentence structure• Agreement: subj./verb, noun/pro.• Punctuation, numbers• Word usage, spelling

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When You Proofread

Check with spell checker and by eyeSwap copy with proofing buddyRead once quickly for meaningRead again slowly• Correct any error; reread that line• When you know text well—

Read backward (short)Read pages out of order (long)

Triple-CheckNumbersHeadings

FirstLast

Reader’s name

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Writing Thought

“A good writer works hard so that the reader will not have to.”

Richard Lauchman, Plain Style, 1993