Chapter twoChapter twoEffective Sentences and Word ChoiceEffective Sentences and Word Choice

HOMEWORK/Do NowHOMEWORK/Do Now

•Take out homework, note taking Take out homework, note taking organizer and a blank piece of organizer and a blank piece of paper in your binders.paper in your binders.

•Return Return Pact Pact books.books.

•Complete Exercise 2 on eBoard.Complete Exercise 2 on eBoard.

I. Sentence fragmentsI. Sentence fragments

•A A sentence fragmentsentence fragment is a group is a group of words that is incorrectly of words that is incorrectly punctuated as a complete punctuated as a complete sentence.sentence.

•Try these 3 strategies to correct Try these 3 strategies to correct fragments…fragments…

Fragment At the end of the race, a checkered flag. [The verb is missing.]

Sentence At the end of the race, a checkered flag was flying.

A) Add the missing subject, verb, or other words necessary.

Fragment Race officials wave a red and yellow striped flag. In cases of danger, such as spilled oil.[The second word group has no subject or verb.]

Sentence Race officials wave a red and yellow striped flag in cases of danger, such as spilled oil.

B) Attach the fragment to a complete sentence.

Fragment

When officials wave a black flag to signal drivers to stop. [The word when is a subordinating conjunction that makes the word group a dependent clause.]

Sentence Officials wave a black flag to signal drivers to stop.

C) Eliminate the word that makes the fragment sound incomplete.

II. Run-On SentencesII. Run-On Sentences

•A A run on sentence run on sentence occurs occurs when two or more sentences when two or more sentences are incorrectly written as a are incorrectly written as a single sentence.single sentence.

•Use one of these four Use one of these four strategies to correct run-on strategies to correct run-on sentences…sentences…

A) Create two separate sentences by adding end punctuation and a capital letter.

Run-On

Many high mountains contain glaciers, did you know that Mount Rainier in Washington has several small glaciers?

Correct Many high mountains contain glaciers. Did you know that Mount Rainier in Washington has several small glaciers?

B) Use a B) Use a coordinating conjunctioncoordinating conjunction preceded by a comma to join sentences.preceded by a comma to join sentences.

Run-On Some glaciers form in the polar regions these icecaps may cover millions of square miles.

Correct Some glaciers form in the polar regions, and these icecaps may cover millions of square miles.

C) Use a C) Use a semi-colonsemi-colon by itself or before a by itself or before a conjunctive conjunctive adverbadverb to join two closely related sentences. to join two closely related sentences.

Run-On Icebergs break off glaciers and drift into the sea only a small part of icebergs is visible above the water.

Correct Icebergs break off glaciers and drift into the sea; however, only a small part of icebergs is visible above the water.

D) Change one sentence into a D) Change one sentence into a subordinate clausesubordinate clause or or a a phrase, adding or changing words and punctuation phrase, adding or changing words and punctuation

as needed.as needed.

Run-On Crevasses are cracks in a glacier they can make mountain climbing dangerous.

Correct Crevasses, which are cracks in a glacier, can make mountain climbing dangerous.

Correct Crevasses, or cracks in a glacier, can make mountain climbing dangerous.

III. Parallel StructureIII. Parallel Structure

•Parallel structureParallel structure is the use of is the use of two or more words, phrases, or two or more words, phrases, or clauses that have the same clauses that have the same grammatical structure.grammatical structure.

•Using sentences with parallel Using sentences with parallel structure creates balance and a structure creates balance and a pleasing rhythm in your writing.pleasing rhythm in your writing.

Parallel structureParallel structure

Not Parallel Surprised, embarrassed, and with anger, Anisa looked down.

Parallel Surprised, embarrassed, and angry, Anisa looked down.

Parallel With surprise, embarrassment, and anger, Anisa looked down.

IV. “Stringy” SentencesIV. “Stringy” Sentences• Stringy sentencesStringy sentences are long and hard to follow. are long and hard to follow.

They contain too many ideas strung loosely They contain too many ideas strung loosely together by the conjunctiontogether by the conjunction and and..• StringyStringy: : One of the first European novels was One of the first European novels was Don Don

QuixoteQuixote, and it was written in 1605, and the author , and it was written in 1605, and the author was Miguel de Cervantes, and he was a Spanish was Miguel de Cervantes, and he was a Spanish writer.writer.

• Revised: Revised: Don QuixoteDon Quixote, one of the first European , one of the first European novels, was written in 1605 by Spanish writer Miguel novels, was written in 1605 by Spanish writer Miguel de Cervantes.de Cervantes.

• Use one or more of these Use one or more of these 33 strategies to strategies to rewrite stringy sentences…rewrite stringy sentences…

A) Break it into two or more separate A) Break it into two or more separate sentences, each presenting one or two ideas.sentences, each presenting one or two ideas.

Stringy Folktales are traditional stories, and they have been passed down orally, and some specific types of traditional stories include fairy tales and trickster stories and legends.

Revised Folktales are traditional stories that have been passed down orally. Some specific types of traditional strories include fairy tales, trickster stories, and legends.

B) Delete less important details, or turn B) Delete less important details, or turn them into phrases or subordinate clauses.them into phrases or subordinate clauses.

Stringy Beowulf tells the story of a hero, and he fights a monster, and its name is Grendel, and Beowulf is one of the oldest poems in English.

Revised Beowulf, one of the oldest poems in English, tells the story of a hero who fights a monster named Grendel.

C) Include transitions (such as C) Include transitions (such as although, because, although, because, and and then)then) to clarify the connections among ideas. to clarify the connections among ideas.

Stringy Most myths are ancient, and people still enjoy them, and they explore common themes, and they are love, evil, and courage.

Revised Although most myths are ancient, people still enjoy them because they explore common themes, such as love, evil, and courage.

V. Wordy sentencesV. Wordy sentences• Wordy sentences Wordy sentences can confuse and bore readers. Use as can confuse and bore readers. Use as

few words as possible to express your meaning clearly.few words as possible to express your meaning clearly.

• Wordy: Wordy: Because of the fact that there were problems Because of the fact that there were problems with electricity, which happened in the gym, the with electricity, which happened in the gym, the basketball games to be played tonight were cancelled by basketball games to be played tonight were cancelled by Mr. Rodriguez, who is the principal. (31 words)Mr. Rodriguez, who is the principal. (31 words)

• Concise: Concise: Because of electrical problems in the gym, the Because of electrical problems in the gym, the principal, Mr. Rodriguez, cancelled tonight’s basketball principal, Mr. Rodriguez, cancelled tonight’s basketball gamesgames

• Follow these 5 strategies to eliminate extra words.Follow these 5 strategies to eliminate extra words.

Wordy sentencesWordy sentences

Wordy sentencesWordy sentences

Wordy sentencesWordy sentences

c) Replace a phrase with a single word.c) Replace a phrase with a single word. Simplify word expressions, such as Simplify word expressions, such as due to the due to the fact that (because) fact that (because) or or at the present timeat the present time (now).(now).

Wordy: Wordy: Hill Middle School fans will cheer with Hill Middle School fans will cheer with enthusiasm until such time as our team is enthusiasm until such time as our team is eliminated from the competition over the eliminated from the competition over the weekend.weekend.

Concise: Concise: Hill Middle School fans will cheer Hill Middle School fans will cheer enthusiastically until our team is eliminated enthusiastically until our team is eliminated from the weekend competition.from the weekend competition.

Wordy sentencesWordy sentences

d) Rewrite sentences to eliminate empty d) Rewrite sentences to eliminate empty phrases. phrases. Look especially for sentence Look especially for sentence openers that add little or no meaning.openers that add little or no meaning.

Wordy: Wordy: In my opinion, it is important that our In my opinion, it is important that our school’s staff and students show more school school’s staff and students show more school spirit.spirit.

Concise: Concise: Our school’s staff and students Our school’s staff and students should show more school spirit.should show more school spirit.

Wordy sentencesWordy sentences

e) Use strong verbs in the active voice. e) Use strong verbs in the active voice. Avoid Avoid using many forms of the verb using many forms of the verb to be (is, was, to be (is, was, are , were) are , were) and verbs in the passive voice. and verbs in the passive voice.

Wordy: Wordy: The eighth grade student council is in The eighth grade student council is in charge of making posters and selling tickets, and charge of making posters and selling tickets, and popcorn is sold by seventh graders at halftime.popcorn is sold by seventh graders at halftime.

Concise: Concise: The eighth grade student council makes The eighth grade student council makes posters and sells tickets, and seventh graders posters and sells tickets, and seventh graders sell popcorn at halftime.sell popcorn at halftime.