Sentences

Jonathan McFarland Tuesday 27th November 2012

Introduction

In science the credit goes to the man who convinces the world, not to the man to whom the idea first occurs. *

* Sir Francis Darwin, Botanist ( Son Of Charles Darwin)

Introduction

“ It’s far more difficult to be simple than complicated”

John Ruskin, English art critic and social thinker – 1819-1900

KEEP

IT

SHORT

SIMPLE

Or the Cynics might say Keep it short and stupid

Clear writing The purpose of scientific writing is to transmit

information

Quickly

Clearly

Convincingly

And a clearly written ( well-written) paper is more

likely to be accepted for publication

Clear writing might help to get your paper accepted

Good writing cannot compensate for poor research but unclear writing can sometime obscure good results, and delay publication

Complex is not necessary Many believe that the “correct” style for scientific

papers is elaborate, using words not normally used in everyday speech.

Some papers are written in this style but this does NOT mean that it is correct.

Scientific writing can be formal without being elaborate or pompous

“Pompous” Do NOT write

“ An extensive review of the literature available at the present time leads us to the inescapable conclusion that hypertension shows a statistical association with the all too common problem of obesity”

When you could write ……

Please

“ Most studies have shown an association between obesity and hypertension”

Natural Voice

One of the easiest ways to make your writing clearer is to write in your natural voice.

How would you explain something to a medical colleague?

Good scientific writing flows naturally, like speech.

One idea per sentence

The golden idea – 1 sentence = 1 thought

Often one, long sentence may contain more than 1 idea.

If so, split it into 2 sentences

Ease of reading

Ease of reading has two main factors:

Sentence length

Word length Often you can split one sentence into 2 or 3 shorter

ones, and thus making it easier to read.

Sentences of up to 20 words are the easiest to read.

Look carefully at sentences of > 30 and cut them, by editing out waste words.

Vary sentence length Texts with only long sentences = difficult to read

Texts with only 8 word sentences read like machine-gun fire

THUS …

The most readable combination is a mixture of short and long sentences

Joining words The use of “ joining” words can help the reader to see the

relationships between sentences and paragraphs.

Here are some examples:

And

But

However

Therefore

In addition

Thus

Herein

Nevertheless

Also

Despite

In contrast

In conclusion

To summarise

Any others?

Do NOT join unrelated ideas What is wrong with this sentence?

“Asthma is an inflammatory condition of the airways and is more common in boys than girls”

How would you correct this sentence?

Perhaps – two sentences

“Asthma is an inflammatory condition of the airways. It is more common in boys than girls.”

Avoid confusion If you stick to “short sentences” and “ one idea per

sentence” you are less likely to end up with odd sentences

However even short sentences can be confusing ( or unintentionally amusing) if not carefully constructed; e.g.

“ We treated the patients using anticholinergics”

Or

“ I have discussed the question of feeding rats with Professor Smith.”

Most important words or phrases near the beginning of the sentence

Readers’ attention peaks at the beginning of the sentence, and then again at the end, but a smaller peak.

So, important to put the key words or phrases near the beginning of the sentence.

Which sentence is easier to understand? 1) To be successful, a new drug must not only be

discovered, but thoroughly tested.

2) A new drug must not only be discovered, but thoroughly tested, to be successful.

Most people prefer the first.

Active Tense

Greater use of the active is a simple strategy to make your writing simpler and clearer.

When the active voice is used – the subject of the sentence performs an action, is a “doer”; e.g..

“ Sir James Black (subject) received(verb) the Nobel Prize(object).

Aspirin(subject) reduces(verb) inflammation(object).

When the passive is used the object goes to the beginning of the sentence; e.g..

“ The Nobel prize(object) was received(verb) by Sir James Black(subject).”

“Inflammation(object) is reduced (verb) by aspirin(subject).”

You will notice 2 things about the passive

1) It uses MORE words to same the same thing

2) It often sounds duller

Preferring the Active also ties in with the idea that the MOST important words should go near the beginning.

But the passive when you want to stress the object…..

Three situations when it is better to stress the object by putting it first:

1) When the subject is unknown or unimportant

It would be ridiculous to say –

“Some builders built the laboratory in 1991”

And thus you would say-

“The laboratory was built in 1991.”

2) When you want to emphasize the object.

You might want to say “this unique process has been patented” rather than

“We have patented this unique process”.

3) If you would rather not say who performed the action “ The dose was miscalculated”

Let’s hope that this will NEVER be necessary.

You CAN use the active voice and still remain formal and impersonal

Some people object that you cannot use the active voice in formal writing about science, because scientific writing must be impersonal.

This is a misconception.

As “ aspirin reduces inflammation” shows you can use the active voice without using “I” or “We”.

In fact there is NO reason why we should not use

“We” in formal scientific writing

Use parallel structures

Parallel structures is a series of word groups with the same structure.

Parallel structures reflects logical thinking

And gives order to the writing.

It is correct to say –

“This educational programme will encourage people to eat healthily, drink a sensible amount and take regular exercise.”

But a more elegant version, with parallel structures would be:

“ The educational programme will encourage people to eat healthily, drink sensibly, and exercise regularly.”

Or “ Reading maketh a full man,

conference a ready man, and writing an exact man.”

Sir Francis Bacon

(Father of Scientific Method, 1561-1626)

Thank you very much for your attention

Almond trees near Bunyola, Mallorca, Spring 2012

Acknowledgements This talk is based on – “How to publish in

Biomedicine:500 tips for success”, Jane Fraser, Radcliffe publishing Ltd, 2008.