Personal Narrative Writing: Personal Narrative Writing: Tips for Creating a Killer Tips for Creating a Killer

BodyBody

Writing with Mr. Potato Writing with Mr. Potato HeadHead

First… Outline the events First… Outline the events you will need to include you will need to include

in your bodyin your body Use the sequence chart/plot organizer Use the sequence chart/plot organizer

handout and outline the major events handout and outline the major events in your personal narrative body. in your personal narrative body.

Next… think about Mr. Potato head Next… think about Mr. Potato head and make sure your essay considers and make sure your essay considers each of his body parts. each of his body parts.

Sensory Writing Sensory Writing

One of the best tips for adding One of the best tips for adding details into a composition comes details into a composition comes from using Mr. Potato Head. Each from using Mr. Potato Head. Each of the potato parts can stand for of the potato parts can stand for one of the senses to enrich writing. one of the senses to enrich writing.

Using the five senses can make Using the five senses can make a story jump off the page. Make a story jump off the page. Make sure each body paragraph contains sure each body paragraph contains at least some sensory details. at least some sensory details.

EarsEars EARSEARS: Sound clues. : Sound clues. ExampleExample: : Bad:Bad: I ripped open the bag of gummy I ripped open the bag of gummy

bears. bears. Good:Good: “Ripping open the bag causes a “Ripping open the bag causes a

resonance like a large cop bending over to resonance like a large cop bending over to grab the last crumb of his doughnut and grab the last crumb of his doughnut and splitting open his trousers. The sound of splitting open his trousers. The sound of chewing the Gummy Bear brings to mind the chewing the Gummy Bear brings to mind the sloppy noise of a horse tromping through a sloppy noise of a horse tromping through a mud hole. Tearing his tiny face from his little mud hole. Tearing his tiny face from his little bear body I can hear a tendon snap.”bear body I can hear a tendon snap.”

EyesEyes

Visual clues. Think of “Show, don’t Visual clues. Think of “Show, don’t tell.”tell.”

Example: Example: Bad:Bad: It was hot. It was hot. Good:Good: “Huge spots of old paint “Huge spots of old paint

curled and peeled, like strips of curled and peeled, like strips of inanimate flesh surrendering its soul inanimate flesh surrendering its soul to the baking Oklahoma sun.” to the baking Oklahoma sun.”

Now let’s see the eyes and Now let’s see the eyes and ears in action with a little help ears in action with a little help

from from Ethan Hawke & Robin WilliamsEthan Hawke & Robin Williams

Did you hear the sensory Did you hear the sensory details?details?

Other than the barbaric YAWP in Other than the barbaric YAWP in Whitman’s poem, what were some of Whitman’s poem, what were some of the sound images?the sound images?

What were some of the sight images? What were some of the sight images?

Could you see the image that Todd is Could you see the image that Todd is describing?describing?

NoseNose ExampleExample: The fire marshal said that the : The fire marshal said that the

explosion’s cause had not been determined explosion’s cause had not been determined but a propane leak is the most likely but a propane leak is the most likely possibility. He first noticed the possibility. He first noticed the smellsmell after after work late Friday. It was like someone had work late Friday. It was like someone had dumped dumped rotten broccolirotten broccoli down the kitchen sink down the kitchen sink disposal.disposal.

Bad:Bad: The lobby smelled. The lobby smelled. Good:Good: “ “The lobby of his old building, as he'd The lobby of his old building, as he'd

expected, seemed smaller to him but the expected, seemed smaller to him but the smell caught him off guard: a claustrophic smell caught him off guard: a claustrophic stankiness -- urine, old bacon grease."stankiness -- urine, old bacon grease."

HandsHands Tactile clues. What things feel like to the touch. Tactile clues. What things feel like to the touch.

It’s a visual clue and then some.It’s a visual clue and then some. ExamplesExamples:: She caressed the cool, smooth cover of the laptop.

The lotion gave her baby-soft skin. He was tied tightly, and the rough bark gouged his

back. It was as soft as rabbit’s fur. The biscuit was as hard as a rock.

MouthMouth

MOUTHMOUTH: Quotes. Be careful here. : Quotes. Be careful here. ONLY use quotes that are ONLY use quotes that are appropriate and profound. If not, appropriate and profound. If not, then leave them out. They will sound then leave them out. They will sound contrived.contrived.

FeetFeet FEETFEET: Development of ideas. Keep your : Development of ideas. Keep your

feet firmly planted in what you are writing feet firmly planted in what you are writing and don’t get off the topic. Stay in the and don’t get off the topic. Stay in the moment for a long time instead of jumping moment for a long time instead of jumping from idea to idea. Fully develop the scene from idea to idea. Fully develop the scene so the reader will be able to see what you so the reader will be able to see what you see and know what you know. Show your see and know what you know. Show your story to the reader. story to the reader.

Importance of setting. Help the reader get Importance of setting. Help the reader get right into your story. Without letting your right into your story. Without letting your reader know why the setting is important, reader know why the setting is important, they will not understand your message or they will not understand your message or be able to visualize what is happening. be able to visualize what is happening.

VoiceVoice THINKING:THINKING: Use Mr. Potato Head’s thinking cap to Use Mr. Potato Head’s thinking cap to

remind you to write about what you are thinking. remind you to write about what you are thinking. Share your thoughts about actions, decisions, or Share your thoughts about actions, decisions, or events. Also reveal your point of view or unique events. Also reveal your point of view or unique way of looking at the situation. This will help the way of looking at the situation. This will help the readers understand what is going on inside you!readers understand what is going on inside you!

ExampleExample: As my mom slammed down the : As my mom slammed down the phone and wheeled around to look at me with a phone and wheeled around to look at me with a glare in her eyes, I knew I was in trouble. I’ll glare in her eyes, I knew I was in trouble. I’ll probably be grounded for the rest of my life! I probably be grounded for the rest of my life! I wish I would have turned in my homework on wish I would have turned in my homework on time. Doesn’t anyone understand how important time. Doesn’t anyone understand how important playing baseball is to me?playing baseball is to me?

Voice Cont. Voice Cont. FEELING:FEELING: Glue a small heart on Mr. Potato Glue a small heart on Mr. Potato

Head. Add voice to your paper by reflecting Head. Add voice to your paper by reflecting on your personal feelings or describing the on your personal feelings or describing the feelings of other characters in your story. feelings of other characters in your story. Instead of using simple feeling words like Instead of using simple feeling words like happy or sad, use descriptive language to happy or sad, use descriptive language to help the reader know what you are feeling.help the reader know what you are feeling.

ExampleExample: There it is. Sitting on the : There it is. Sitting on the kitchen table. Grandma always sends my kitchen table. Grandma always sends my birthday present a day early. I’m hoping it birthday present a day early. I’m hoping it is the game I’ve been wanting. I can picture is the game I’ve been wanting. I can picture my friends spending hours playing and my friends spending hours playing and competing with each other. The size of the competing with each other. The size of the package is right. Yes, the weight is too. It package is right. Yes, the weight is too. It just has to be....just has to be....

Listen to this audio clipListen to this audio clip What is the setting of the story? How does What is the setting of the story? How does

he develop the scene? he develop the scene?

How does David Sedaris use dialogue? How does David Sedaris use dialogue? What are some lines you remember? Is the What are some lines you remember? Is the dialogue effective?dialogue effective?

What thoughts and feelings does Sedaris What thoughts and feelings does Sedaris reveal in this essay? How does he feel reveal in this essay? How does he feel about being an elf? What are some about being an elf? What are some examples you remember of him revealing examples you remember of him revealing his inner thoughts and feelings?his inner thoughts and feelings?

Let Mr. Potato Head remind Let Mr. Potato Head remind you to use sensory writing, you to use sensory writing, fully develop your ideas, fully develop your ideas, explain the importance of explain the importance of the setting, and write with the setting, and write with

voice!voice!

Now it’s your turn…Now it’s your turn…

Write the body paragraphs Write the body paragraphs to your personal essay. to your personal essay. What you don’t finish in What you don’t finish in

class, you must complete class, you must complete for homework. for homework.