Person I Admire: From Draft 1 to the Final Draft

by Ms. Teref

Our big goal:

• You will:a)revise draft 1 (Wednesday) and write draft

2(Thursday); your typed draft 2 is due Monday!

b)peer review draft 2c) write the final draft – THE FINAL DRAFT IS DUE

___________!!!

Plagiarism

PURPOSE: Why discuss plagiarism?

BACKGROUND KNOWLEDGE• What is plagiarism?

• What are the consequences of plagiarism?

Plagiarism (handbook p. 37)

• Let’s read p. 37 – get your pencils out and let’s annotate!

Now, based on p. 37, is this student’s paragraph plagiarized or not?

• Born to an unwed teenage mother, Oprah Winfrey spent her first years on her grandmother's farm in Mississippi, while her mother looked for work in the North. Life on the farm was primitive, but her grandmother taught her to read at an early age, and at age three Oprah was reciting poems and Bible verses in local churches. Despite the hardships of her physical environment, she enjoyed the loving support of her grandmother and the church community, who cherished her as a gifted child. Clearly, Oprah has exhibited perseverance and responsibility, which have made her the admirable person many of us aspire to become.

DISCUSSION:

1. Which part has been plagiarized?2. How can you tell this part has been

plagiarized?3. How do you avoid plagiarism? OR how do

you change this paragraph so that it isn’t plagiarized?

4. Can you borrow some of the words from the original?

What’s this? Where is it? (p. 38)

Handbook, p. 38• As you read the original, find a)the topic sentence or claimb)examplec) analysis

• Compare Example 1 to the original:a)the topic sentence or claimb)examplec) analysis

Handbook, p. 38

• Compare Example 2 to the original:a) the topic sentence or claimb) examplec) analysis

WHICH EXAMPLE IS PLAGIARIZED? HOW DO YOU KNOW? – group work; time______

3. How do you avoid plagiarism? Or how do you change this paragraph so that it isn’t plagiarized?

a) by summarizingb) by paraphrasingWHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?

TIP:“Hide” the original from yourself, so that you

can write down in your own words how you understood the original text.

DO NOT LOOK AT THE ORGINAL! UNDERSTAND IT! AND THEN…

a) A summary is much shorter than the original and has ONLY the most important information. NO DETAILS!!! You MUST use your own language. If you MUST borrow a word/phrase from the original, it must be in quotations.

b) A paraphrase can be as long as the original or even longer. It can have details. If you MUST borrow a word/phrase from the original, it must be in quotations.

In your groups, write

1) a summary of Oprah’s plagiarized biography. The whole paragraph must be summarized in exactly 15 words. NO DETAILS – IT’S A SUMMARY!!!( ___ minutes)

2) a paraphrase of Oprah’s plagiarized biography. You must capture all of the main ideas, but you must use your own words. (___ minutes)

Homework:

• Highlight the portions of your paper which you unintentionally plagiarized.

• Remember: I will help you with this process. No need to be upset. You are still learning how to write a research paper.

Day#2: Goal: Review of essay structureDO YOU HAVE THE FOLLOWING COMPONENTS?

• Introduction: Step 1 (Handbook,p.20-22): begin

with background information, attention grabber, a famous quotation, a question

Step 2: Thesis: arguable position; explain why your person is admirable; use conjunctions such as: BUT, HOWEVER, YET, ALTHOUGH, NOT ONLY… BUT ALSO

DO YOU HAVE THE FOLLOWING COMPONENTS?

• Body paragraphs:1) Claim/topic sentence2) Introduce the quote: According to

Achievement Academy, As Academy of Achievement asserts…

3) Deliver A SHORT quote (NOT LONG!!!)

4) Explain what the quote means in your own words

5) Analyze: what kind of person is this? Apply the SO WHAT strategy to your analysis. DO NOT REPEAT THE QUOTE OR YOUR EXPLANATION.

Ms.Teref’s example of a body paragraph1. Topic Sentence= Although many

may claim that Kareem Abdul Jabbar is just another basketball player-celebrity, what cannot be overlooked is his perseverance and caring not only in mastering the game of basketball but also in overcoming leukemia and promoting understanding of this crippling illness.

2. I= Introduce the quotation: According to Biography in Context,

3. D= Deliver the SHORT quote (using quotation marks, EXACTLY as the quote appears): According to Biography in Context, “Kareem Abdul-Jabbar did not take to the game immediately, but with patient application he mastered the essentials”(27).

4. E= Explain the quote (elaborate on the quote, explain what it means):

To be specific, although Abdul-Jabbar is exceedingly tall, which may make some believe he would automatically be drawn to basketball, he didn’t fall in love with it blindly. Rather, he patiently practiced and learned to love basketball.

5. I=Inference (what kind of person is this based on your quote?)

Clearly, it can be inferred from Abdul-Jabbar’s actions that he is not an impulsive, explosive man, but a very thoughtful, intelligent individual whose determination has inspired many athletes.

• Follow the above 5 steps to help you develop your body paragraphs. Do NOT repeat the same words and transitions – only the steps!!!

Questions:

• Why did Ms. Teref highlight certain phrases in blue?

• What’s her point?• How can we replace those phrases so that

every body paragraph doesn’t sound the same? (BORING)

• What are some other phrases you can use instead of according to, clearly, it can be inferred…

Exemplary student essays:

• Listen for the components in the introduction and body paragraphs.

• Take notes on each component.• Be prepared to answer my questions about

the components.• Exemplary student work by:4th: ___________ 5th:___________

Task:

• Begin writing your draft 2 based on today’s lesson. When called on, you will show me what changes you decided to make.

• Remember – you must finish your second draft by Wednesday, so that you can turn in your final draft on Friday!!!

• Remember: for every day this week, you will receive an executive function grade. Be on task! Behave! Do not use your inner voice!

Day #3: Goal: Let’s revise the thesis and topic sentences – one last look!

• Does your thesis have YET, BUT, HOWEVER, NOT ONLY… BUT ALSO… or another conjunction?

• Do your topic sentences have sentence variety? (Coordination option 1, 2, 3 or participial and prepositional phrases)

Topic Sentence – sentence types

• Ideas for topic sentence sentence structure:1)Coordination: Option 1:FANBOYS2)Coordination: Option 2: semi colon3)Coordination: Option 3: SV;_______, SV4)Subordination: ______ SV, SV5)Any other sentence types?

12/14/11

TASK:

• Now choose 3 out of the 4 suggested ways of writing topic sentences, and change your topic sentences if they have been written all in the same way.

• YOU ARE BEING GRADED ON SENTENCE VARIETY!

HOMEWORK: WRITE DRAFT 2 FOR TOMORROW AND HAVE IT READY TO BE PEER REVIEWED.

DAY #4 GOAL: PEER REVIEWDo you have your drafts 1 and 2 with you?

• HOMEWORK: FINAL DRAFT IS DUE ______• You will be assigned a partner to work with.• The author is conducting the conversation.• The peer reviewer interjects with questions

and makes suggestions.• The author writes the reviewer’s suggestions

in the margin or anywhere on the paper.• Then the author and reviewer switch roles.

Protocol: black=authorred=peer reviewer

1. INTRODUCTION: -Author: I believe I have a strong thesis

because… (explain your reasons)- Peer reviewer’s question/suggestion.- Author writes the suggestions in the margin.

2. EACH BODY PARAGRAPHS Author: I think my topic sentence is clear

because …-Peer reviewer’s question/suggestion.- Author writes the suggestions in the margin.

3. EACH BODY PARAGRAPH: Author: My quote is relates to my topic

sentence and my thesis because…-Peer reviewer’s question/suggestion.- - Author writes the suggestions in the

margin.

4. EACH BODY PARAGRAPH:Author: My explanation of the quote

is strong because…-Peer reviewer’s question/suggestion.- Author writes the suggestions in the

margin.

5. EACH BODY PARAGRAPH:Author: My analysis of the quote is

not just a repetition of my topic sentence and my explanation because…

- Peer reviewer’s question/suggestion.

- Author writes the suggestions in the margin.

YOUR FINAL DRAFT IS DUE _____

• You must have the following to earn a passing grade:

1.the rubric2.the prompt3.draft 1 - typed4.typed draft 2 with the author’s writing based

on the reviewer’s suggestions5.final draft