parent-teen relationships in a challenging world

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  • Parent-Teen Relationshipsin a Challenging World

  • Teenagers in the 21st CenturyThe 21st century represents new opportunities and challenges for family life and parenting. Teenagers can communicate with a parent by cell phone wherever they go. Parents wonder if their children will be able to learn new job skills for a new century. What does the future bring and how is it different from the past?

  • Question?What generation did you grow up in and what were four trends or factors affecting you as a teenager?

  • Our generationChildren were seen and not heardThe adult was always rightCorporal punishmentSmall world Limited influencesLimited exposure to media and other culturesPolitical challenges

  • Question?Can you think about and list four ways that teenagers today are influenced differently than when you were growing up?

  • Their generationThey do not accept the answer because I say so they question.Technology.A really big world with many unknown influencesHuge exposure to other cultures and ways of life.

  • Teenagers in the 21st CenturyRaised with cellphone in handEarlier maturation both physically and culturallyParents expect children to begin learning earlierParents encourage kids to act like adults, more open to discuss issues with kidsBig shoppers on our limited budgets

  • What are unhealthy influences of concern to parents of teens today?Drug use, particularly the availability of methamphetamine (tik), dagga and combinations of daggaAlcohol abuseLack of exerciseSexual behaviorExposure to technology

  • Types of Parental Concerns for Teenage Children Delinquent behavior damaging property, crimeYouth conflict and aggression fighting, suicide, emotional angerSexual involvement pregnancy, STDsSubstance abuse alcohol, tobacco, drugsDepression and isolationAchievement in schoolMoney management, career preparation

  • What can we as parents do?Connectedness to Parents and FamilyParental Expectations About BehaviorPositive Peer Relationships

  • Connectedness to Parents and Family = Healthy TeensTeens who experience a sense of connectedness to parents and family are likely to show better behavior

  • What do you do to develop connectedness to your kids?

  • Parental Expectations About Behavior = Healthy TeensClear expressions of parental expectation (e.g., get good grades) actually reduce emotional stress in youthSetting clear expectations for behavior.

  • What do you do to establish rules and expectations for children?

  • Positive Peer Relationships = Healthy TeensYouth fit into a friendship framework (1) best friends, (2) close friends, (3) clique, (4) leading crowd, (5) the schoolBest friends are much less influential than the network of close friends = peer culture what is the group that your child hangs out with involved in doing?The relationship of your teenagers friends with you, as parents, also is important. Do they know and trust you?

  • What do you do to help your children develop positive peer relationships?

  • Four Positive Parental Behaviors to Strengthen Relationships with TeensSharing dinner or other regular mealsDemocratic parenting and involvement of youth in decision making about their livesParental monitoring of behaviorConsistent involvement through shared activities and conversation

  • Summary on Parent-Teen RelationshipsRelax! The horror stories you have heard about adolescence are false. Like it or not, your child is trying to grow up. The adolescent doesnt want you to solve every problem anymore. When parents welcome signs that their child is growing up and expect the best from their child, they often find adolescence the most rewarding time in their parental career. Laurence Steinberg

    ************Connection is A positive, warm, stable emotional bond between parent and childConnection develops trust youth understand expectations, What would Mom say?Connection develops self-worth youth who feel this value themselves, it lessens their need for seeking attention or approval in risky behaviorsConnection develops social confidence teens are more able to engage in positive social interaction

    Express affection frequently and openly to children hugs, approval, etc.Express encouragement and interest talk to children, support activitiesSpend time in shared activities, including recreation, work, etc.strengthening relationships requires intellectual and creative effort but it promotes moral behavior***Engage youth in establishing family rules and arranging consequences family meetings, etc.Enforce consequences when rules are broken abide by clear standardsSpend time with and talk to youthWho will you be with?What will you be doing?Where will you be? When?Youth who know what their parents disapprove of are more likely to avoid or delay risky behavior.

    **Provide a positive, friendly atmosphere for peers of your children when they come to your home.Get to know the parents of your teenagers friends and communicate with them about expectationsAssist and coach your child in making friends, keeping friends and appreciating friendsHelp teenagers find a supportive peer network to reinforce good behavior

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