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DARIUS RUCKER ON THE JOY OF COUNTRY MUSIC THE AGONY OF GOLF AND WHAT BEING A FATHER REALLY MEANS TO HIM “My number one job is to make sure my kids are happy.” G R I L LE D CHEESE WITH DAD A S OL D I E R’ S FAREWELL TO HIS SONS Happy FATHER’S DAY! HUNGRY? DOWNLOAD OUR FREE GRILLING APP AT DASHRECIPES.COM/GRILLAPP SUNDAY, JUNE 16, 2013 | PARADE.COM © PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

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Happy Father's Day

TRANSCRIPT

Page 1: Parade 0616

DARIUSRUCKER

ON THE JOY OF COUNTRY MUSIC THE AGONY OF GOLF

AND WHAT BEING A FATHER REALLY MEANS TO HIM

“My number one job is to make sure my kids are happy.”

GRILLED CHEESE

WITH DAD

A SOLDIER’SFAREWELL

TO HIS SONS

Happy FATHER’S DAY!

HUNGRY? DOWNLOAD OUR FREE

GRILLING APP AT

DASHRECIPES.COM/GRILLAPP

S U N DAY, J U N E 1 6 , 2 0 1 3 | PA R A D E .C O M

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Page 2: Parade 0616

2 | JUNE 16, 2013

The singer, 30, has a new album, Spit� re,

out on June 4; it includes performances by

Alison Krauss, Je� Beck, and Rob Thomas.

How did you come up with the name of

the album? I felt like I’d had tape over my

mouth for a while. Once I ripped it off, emo-

tions came pouring out of me in rapid fi re.

Were you worried any songs might be too

controversial? “Borrowed” was one of the fi rst songs I wrote on this album [the song is about Rimes’s extramarital affair with

her now husband, actor Eddie Cibrian, 40]. I was terrifi ed writing it. I was bawling and thinking, “I can’t say this.” My writing partners encouraged me to be honest, and once I wrote it, nothing was off-limits.So, much of your inspiration comes from

your own life? Yeah. I used to get mad at the tabloids, but I should be thanking them because they helped me write this whole record. I’m also a horrible friend because I use my pals’ experiences for songs. They’ll call me for advice, and I’ll be like, “Hold on. I need to grab a pen!” What’s your idea of the perfect weekend?

Hopping on Eddie’s Harley and riding on the Pacifi c Coast Highway along the beach with him. It’s the best!

LEANN RIMESWALTER SCOTT ASKS…

Find out what she has to say about her idol, Patsy Cline, at parade.com/rimes

PARADE

WALTER SCOTT’S

SUNDAY

FREEBIEEnter for a chance to

win a Funny Girl Blu-ray signed by Barbra

Streisand at parade.com/win

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Q: Were some of James “Sulley” Sullivan’s facial expressions in Monsters

University based on John Goodman? —Peter B., Pierre, S.D.

A: “Yes—there’s a

video camera in the booth recording us as we read the script,” says the actor, 60, who reprises his role as the voice of Sulley in the prequel to the 2001

Pixar fl ick Monsters, Inc.

(in theaters June 21). “I get so into character that I forget it’s even there.” So has anyone told the star that he looks like the furry blue monster? “Fortunately, that hasn’t happened yet.”

Q: How does Jordin Sparks feel about boyfriend Jason Derulo writing songs about her? —Peggy S., Fairfax, Va.

A: “When ‘The Other Side’ comes on, I get this big, cheesy grin on my face. I know he was thinking about me when he wrote it,” says Sparks, 23. The former American Idol winner says Derulo, also 23, inspires her own writing. “We love being able to support each other in what we do.”

Q: What’s Buddy Valastro’s favorite kitchen tool? —Regina M., Dover, Del.

vre

s al rs

Jordin Sparks and Jason Derulo

< John Goodman and Sulley

Buddy Valastro

A: The star of the hit TLC show Cake Boss (Mondays) credits his success not to a mixer or spatula—“90 percent of my decorating relies on a good [pastry] turntable.” Go to parade.com/cakeboss to fi nd out Buddy’s favorite model.

Q: Did Aaron Tveit learn to surf for his role on Graceland? —Tom P.,

Daytona Beach, Fla.

A: “My character is an East Coast guy who hasn’t surfed before. That’s exactly how I am,” says the actor, 29, who wowed fi lm audiences as Enjolras in Les Misérables and stars onthe USA show (Thursdays).“All the wiping out and face planting you see on TV are my real surf skills!”

Aaron Tveit (left)

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Page 3: Parade 0616

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Simple tips to promote regularity:

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© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Page 4: Parade 0616

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4 | JUNE 16, 2013

Parade

L I K E U S O N F A C E B O O K A T FA C E B O O K . C O M / PA R A D E M A G

1968 Night of the Living

Dead Corpses risefrom the grave, and they’rehungry. This low-budget fl ick still hits a nerve. What

was groundbreaking:

Biting social commentary.

1983 Thriller MJ’s epic video set the bar

high with creepy effects and landmark choreog-raphy. What was ground-

breaking: Dancing ghouls.

2002 28 Days Later

9/11 and history’s plagues resonate in this tale of survival in a Britain overrun by zombie-like “infected.” What was

groundbreaking: A happy (or at least hopeful) ending.

2004 Shaun of the Dead

London slackers are slow to notice zombies in their midst (they mistake one for a drunk). What was

groundbreaking: Hilarity.

2010 The Walking Dead

Survivors band together amid a zombietakeover. What was ground-

breaking: Soapy drama among the principals.

2013 World War Z

Brad Pitt’s UN offi cial fi ghts a zombie pandemic. What’s ground-

breaking: Brad + zombies = box offi ce gold?

BEST GRADUATION SPEECH

Heard a good one? Submit a video to owntheroom.com. The best valedictorians will score an iPad; the winning speakers will earn their college $5,000 worth of public speaking training.

Check out the top fi ve talks of 2013 (from Clinton to Colbert) at parade.com/grad.

A TRIBUTE TO SALLY RIDE | Thirty years ago Tuesday, Ride became the fi rst American woman to fl y into space. Biographer Lynn Sherr refl ects on that historic day at parade.com/sally.

SUMMER

PLAYLIST

CH

valedictorians willeakers will earn theirc speaking training. of 2013 (from Clinton /grad.

Bazooka Joe and His Gang

This little book celebrates the cast of cartoon charac-

ters that have kept Bazooka chewers chuckling for six decades (the comics will be replaced by brain teasers and activities this year). It’s a sweet treat for your inner kid. Lincoln Unbound Exploring Lincoln’s dedica-tion to the values of hard work, discipline, and self-determination, National Review editor Rich Lowry argues that following the example of the president who led us away from slavery can help us escape our current economic malaise. The World’s Strongest Librarian This memoir has a funny premise—a 6-foot-7 bookworm competes at weight lifting—and often hilarious writing. But author Josh Hanagarne’s daily battle with Tourette’s syndrome is no joke. You’ll be moved by his resilience and his fam-ily’s unfl agging love. (Watch our interview with Hanagarne at parade.com/librarian.)

ZOMBIES!A TIMELINE

, 2013

BEST G

Heard a gto owscorcolle

Cht

Hanagarne at parade.com/librarian.)

READING

CORNER

Mariah Carey feat. Miguel“#Beautiful”

This slow jam is an ode to sexy summer nights.

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis“Can’t Hold Us”

Get hyped to this hard-and-fast follow-up to the rapper’s breakthrough

single “Thrift Shop.”

Florida Georgia Line“Cruise (Remix) featuring Nelly”

Nelly cranks the party to 11 on this remix

of spring’s chart topper.

Daft Punk“Get Lucky”

Pharrell Williams’s vocals ride the disco

groove of these French electronic pioneers.

FOR MORE SONGS, GO TO

parade.com/playlist

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Page 5: Parade 0616

CHRISCUOMO

KATEBOLDUAN

MICHAELAPEREIRA

SOMETHING NEW IS BREWING IN THE MORNING

STARTS MONDAY, JUNE 17WEEKDAYS 6-9AM/ET

TM & © 2013 Cable News Network. A Time Warner Company. All rights reserved. CNN.com/NewDay

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Page 6: Parade 0616

By acting fast you can receive an 1889 Uncirculated Morgan Silver Dollar for just $39.95 — quite a value versus the regular price of $90 (plus $4.90 shipping and service). This is one of the historic silver dollars minted between 1878 and 1935. Since then the U.S. Mint has never issued a 90% silver dollar for circulation. Collectors have been hoarding desirable Morgan Silver Dollars for more than a century. With the price of silver having skyrocketed, these precious silver dollars are certain to be more coveted than ever!

DON’T DELAY!How can we afford to offer this 1889 Uncirculated Morgan Silver Dollar for such a deep discount? The reason is simple, and good business. We know that owning just one rare and beautiful historic U.S. silver dollar is enough to convince many people to purchase additional silver dollars from us. Should you not claim your 1889 Uncirculated Morgan Silver Dollar, you may never see this opportunity again. Reply today!

Coins shown much larger than actual size of 38.1 mm in diameter.

PCS STAMPS & COINS© MBI

RESERVATION APPLICATION PCS Stamps & Coins 47 Richards Avenue Norwalk, CT 06857

YES! Send my 1889 Uncirculated Morgan Silver Dollar for just $39.95, with no obligation to purchase anything else.

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© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Page 7: Parade 0616

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Strawberries

They’re deliciously

sweet this time of

year, and according

to research, a cupful

of berries a day may

offer a healthy dose

of sun-guarding

antioxidants called

anthocyanins.

Tomatoes

They’re rich in a

powerful antioxidant

called lycopene. For

the highest dose,

choose tomatoes

in a cooked form,

like tomato paste:

In one study, par-

ticipants who ate

fi ve tablespoons of

HealthyStay

Smart Move of the Week

There’s an app for everything these days, including some that purport

to help determine whether that mole is perfectly normal—or potentially

cancerous. But using your smartphone for skin cancer detection is

dicey: A 2013 study looked at four apps and found that three incorrectly

labeled at least 30 percent of melanomas as A-OK. If you have a suspi-

cious mole, your fi rst stop should be a dermatologist, not the app store.

the stuff every day

for 12 weeks suf-

fered signifi cantly

less sunburn than a

control group.

Chocolate

Yet another reason to

go to the dark side:

Researchers found

that subjects who

drank a daily cocoa

beverage containing

the equivalent of 3.5

ounces of dark choc-

olate, which is high

in disease-fi ghting

antioxidants called

fl avanols, had less

skin damage from UV

light than those who

drank a placebo.

Fish

In a recent experi-

ment, participants

took either four

grams of omega-3

fatty acids (about

1.5 portions of oily

fi sh like salmon) or

a placebo daily for

three months before

being exposed to a

light machine. Fish

oil doubled the body’s

immune protection

against low UV levels.

Leafy greens

Greens are a top

source of beta-

carotene, an anti-

oxidant that may

help reduce the risk

of sunburn, studies

show. Max out the

benefi ts by quick-

cooking greens

and tossing them

in olive oil, both of

which help your body

better absorb the

skin-strengthening

nutrients.

—Karen Asp

EDIBLE SPFSlathering on sunscreen isn’t your only UV defense. Turns out your diet can also protect your skin.

6 | JUNE 16, 2013

Coins shown larger than actual size of 38.1 mm in diameter.

PCS STAMPS & COINS

your coin will be presented in an archival quality case.

© MBI

By acting fast you can receive an 1889 Uncirculated Morgan Silver Dollar for just $39.95 — quite a value versus the regular price of $90 (plus $4.90 shipping and service). This is one of the historic silver dollars minted between 1878 and 1935. Since then the U.S. Mint has never issued a 90% silver dollar for circulation. Collectors have been hoarding desirable Morgan Silver Dollars for more than a century. With the price of silver having skyrocketed, these pre-cious silver dollars are certain to be more coveted than ever!

DON’T DELAY!How can we afford to offer this 1889 Uncirculated Morgan Silver Dollar for such a deep discount? The reason is simple, and good business. We know that owning just one rare and beautiful historic U.S. silver dollar is enough to convince many people to purchase additional silver dollars from us. Should you not claim your 1889 Uncirculated Morgan Silver Dollar, you may never see this opportunity again. Reply today!

RESERVATION APPLICATION PCS Stamps & Coins 47 Richards Avenue Norwalk, CT 06857

YES! Send my 1889 Uncirculated Morgan Silver Dollar for just $39.95, with no obligation to purchase anything else.

For fastest service call us toll-free at 1-888-702-7269.

� I prefer the convenience of paying by credit card:

� � � �� VISA � MasterCard � Discover � American Express Card # Exp. Date

Signature (required)

� Enclosed is my check for $39.95, payable to PCS Stamps & Coins.

Name Please print clearly.

Address

City/State ZipLimit one per household.

USD/M067/

Product/Offer Code

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Page 8: Parade 0616

PH

OT

OS

, F

RO

M T

OP

: S

TE

VE

WIS

BA

UE

R/G

ET

TY

IM

AG

ES

; S

TU

AR

T M

INZ

EY

/GE

TT

Y I

MA

GE

S

Strawberries

They’re deliciously

sweet this time of

year, and according

to research, a cupful

of berries a day may

offer a healthy dose

of sun-guarding

antioxidants called

anthocyanins.

Tomatoes

They’re rich in a

powerful antioxidant

called lycopene. For

the highest dose,

choose tomatoes

in a cooked form,

like tomato paste:

In one study, par-

ticipants who ate

fi ve tablespoons of

HealthyStay

Smart Move of the Week

There’s an app for everything these days, including some that purport

to help determine whether that mole is perfectly normal—or potentially

cancerous. But using your smartphone for skin cancer detection is

dicey: A 2013 study looked at four apps and found that three incorrectly

labeled at least 30 percent of melanomas as A-OK. If you have a suspi-

cious mole, your fi rst stop should be a dermatologist, not the app store.

the stuff every day

for 12 weeks suf-

fered signifi cantly

less sunburn than a

control group.

Chocolate

Yet another reason to

go to the dark side:

Researchers found

that subjects who

drank a daily cocoa

beverage containing

the equivalent of 3.5

ounces of dark choc-

olate, which is high

in disease-fi ghting

antioxidants called

fl avanols, had less

skin damage from UV

light than those who

drank a placebo.

Fish

In a recent experi-

ment, participants

took either four

grams of omega-3

fatty acids (about

1.5 portions of oily

fi sh like salmon) or

a placebo daily for

three months before

being exposed to a

light machine. Fish

oil doubled the body’s

immune protection

against low UV levels.

Leafy greens

Greens are a top

source of beta-

carotene, an anti-

oxidant that may

help reduce the risk

of sunburn, studies

show. Max out the

benefi ts by quick-

cooking greens

and tossing them

in olive oil, both of

which help your body

better absorb the

skin-strengthening

nutrients.

—Karen Asp

EDIBLE SPFSlathering on sunscreen isn’t your only UV defense. Turns out your diet can also protect your skin.

6 | JUNE 16, 2013

NEUROPATHY FOOT PAIN?If you suffer from neuropathy, or pain in

your feet due to nerve damage, you should know that help is available. 20 million Americans suffer from neuropathy and put up with the pain because they are not aware of this proven treatment.

MagniLife® Pain Relieving Foot Cream contains key ingredients, such as eucalyptus oil and yellow jasmine, known to relieve tingling, numbness, and discomfort while also restoring cracked, damaged, and itchy skin. Results are so fantastic, long-time sufferers are seeing improvements for the ¿UVW�WLPH�LQ�\HDUV��“I tried it on both heels

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MagniLife® Pain Relieving Foot Cream isavailable at Walgreens and Rite Aid Phar-macy. You can also order risk free for $19.99 (plus $5.95 S&H) for a 4 oz jar. Get a FREEjar when you order two for $39.98 (plus $9.95 S&H). Send payment to: MagniLife PC-P1,PO Box 6789, McKinney, TX 75071 or call1-800-648-3460. Satisfaction guaranteed orreturn the jars within 90 days for a full refund. Order now at www.PRFootCream.com.

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RESTLESS LEGS SYNDROME?If uncomfortable sensations in your legs

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MagniLife® Restless Legs Cream allows you to rest comfortably again. Massage it into your legs and feet to relieve and soothe the symptoms of RLS. Formulated to allow IRU�DEVRUSWLRQ�RI�VSHFL¿F�YLWDPLQV�DQG�PLQ-erals that provide relief from those painful and annoying sensations. Infused with La-

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© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Page 9: Parade 0616

“And when your card shows you’ve had nine whiskeys, you get the 10th one for free.”

break into any one account. Rather, a hacker will be slowed accessing your other accounts, unless you make the switch to all your passwords at once, which will have the opposite effect.

Regardless, it never hurts to change a password. You never know: Maybe someone (an ex-intimate?) has quietly obtained it and is simply moni-toring an account—reading your email or whatever. If that gives you the willies, you can’t change too often, can you?

anyway. The change would only limit the number of days he or she has access to that one account, so even a weekly change, which would be big effort for you, wouldn’t help much: Hackers can get everything they want from an account in minutes.

But if you use the same garden-variety password everywhere, changing often—unless you do some-thing obvious, like adding a character to the end of the old password—will help, but not because it will be harder to

Ask MarilynBy Marilyn vos Savant

experts are targeting you. Second, you’re already exercising caution: (a) You have a completely differ-ent password for each website that is important to protect, such as banks and credit cards, shop-ping sites with pay-ment data, email accounts, etc.; and (b) all of your pass-words are strong.

Frequent chang-ing of those pass-words provides little benefi t because a hacker who manages to break into one account usually won’t be able to break into the others

Experts on informa-tion technology security advise frequent password changes. But why would the new pass-word be any more secure than the old one? —Perry Penton,

Smyrna, Ga.

So many factors are involved! Let’s make two assumptions. First, you’re an ordi-nary citizen and no C

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*This statement has not been evaluated by the Food & Drug Administration.

This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

Made with 26 fruits and vegetables

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Alive!® is more than just a multi-vitamin.

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Page 10: Parade 0616

It’s a gorgeous spring day at the Vanderbilt Legends golf club outside Nashville, but Darius Rucker’s mood is more like partly cloudy with a chance of thundershowers. “I’m a really good golfer,” he says sarcastically as he jams his putter down into his golf bag. “Just awful.” The former Hootie & the Blowfi sh singer turned country music star just blew a short putt for birdie, sending the ball skittering past the hole by a good six feet. Though there’s no money involved—he’s just playing for fun—the missed shot irks him.

“Golf is the greatest but most maddening sport there is,” he says, rubbing his gray-specked goatee in frustration.

A sports fanatic and a pal of Tiger Woods’s, Rucker plays golf nearly every day. When his wife, Beth, asked him what he wanted to do on

COVER & OPENING PHOTOGRAPHS

BY DAVID McCLISTER

BY MATT

HENDRICKSON

A HARDSCRABBLE CHILDHOOD HELPED

DARIUS RUCKER FIND HIS PASSION

FOR MUSIC—AND A DESIRE TO BE THE KIND

OF FATHER HE NEVER HAD

8 | JUNE 16, 2013

On the Right Course

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Page 11: Parade 0616

FINDING HIS GROOVE

A friend’s dad taught Rucker how to play golf when he was 14. Like music, the game became a lifelong passion.

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Page 12: Parade 0616

10 | JUNE 16, 2013

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his 47th birthday last month, the answer was easy: play 36 holes at his hometown club in Charleston, S.C. (To help him work out post-round kinks, she had a massage therapist waiting at home.) On Sat-urdays, he plays a shorter game with daughter Daniela, 12, and son, Jack, 8 (Rucker’s 18-year-old daughter, Cary, lives with her mother in Balti-more but visits often). “We usually only play nine because that’s all Dani wants to do,” he says, laughing. “And Jack just hacks around.”

Talking about his kids elevates Rucker’s game. He starts nailing shot after shot with lethal accuracy. When one of his playing partners nearly drains a hole-in-one at the 175-yard par-3 fi fth hole, it’s game on. “Yes!” Rucker bellows, slapping him a high-fi ve. “Now we’re playing some good golf!”

This is a high-fi ve kind of time in Rucker’s life. With “Wagon Wheel,”

his cover of an iconic alt-country anthem first made famous by Nashvi l le band Old Crow Medicine Show, he has his sixth No. 1 song in fi ve years. And the single, off his new album, True

Believers, isn’t just popular in the U.S.: “We’re No. 1 in Canada!” he says, holding up his iPhone to show a text from his manager.

A few hours after finishing his round of golf, Rucker arrives at a Nashville club, where he’ll play “Wagon Wheel” four times for a CMA Music Festival special to air on ABC. Then he’ll climb back on his tour bus for the nine-hour trip back to Charleston. He wants to get there in time to cook breakfast for his kids. “It doesn’t get much easier,” he says. “Play one song and then sleep all the way home.”

It wasn’t always such a smooth

ride. Rucker and three friends at the University of Charleston formed Hootie & the Blowfish in 1986, and the band enjoyed monstrous success in the ’90s with three plati-num albums (their 1994 release Cracked Rear View went platinum 16 times over). But by the early 2000s, they found their audience tiring of their pop roots–infl ected songs. Their shows still drew decent crowds, but the fans only wanted the old hits; any new songs caused a race to the beer line. Hootie & the Blowfi sh put out their last studio album in 2005, then in 2008 decided to take an extended break. “I was really at a point where I didn’t know if I could keep doing [music],” he says. “I’d been to the mountaintop. It might have been time to do something else.”

But Rucker wasn’t able to give up music, which had been a fixture in his life since child-hood. As a kid, he would sit for hours in

front of the radio memorizing lyrics to R&B and rock songs, and tracks from country stars like Buck Owens. “My oldest brother [would say], ‘Man, why are you listening to that white boy music?’ ” Rucker recalls. “But my mom would tell him to leave me alone, to let me listen to what I wanted to listen to.”

Rucker’s wife prodded him to make a country record, something he’d often mentioned as a pie-in-the-sky dream. “He had to put him-self out there to start over, and that’s really hard once you’ve already had success,” says Beth, who met Rucker in 1998 while she was working at VH1 in New York (he chased her for a year before she agreed to go

out with him). “He’s a great singer and he writes great

songs. He had to do it.” Buoyed by his wife’s

support, Rucker wrote more than 70 tunes and recorded his 2008 country debut, Learn to Live.

Nashville was abuzz

about his album even before it came out. “We were recording and I went out for a couple of beers, and people would come up to me and say, ‘I was talking to Brad Paisley the other day and he said how great your record is.’ I was like, ‘That’s crazy. Why would Brad Paisley think to talk to some-body about my record?’ ”

Rucker, who spent almost two years as an opening act for the country superstar, now calls Paisley his best friend in the industry. “He’s one of the good guys,” Rucker says. “That comes from the way he was raised. I know his mom and dad, and he was raised right.”

Rucker thinks a lot about the parent who raised him. His mother, Caro-

lyn, a nurse, took care of him and his fi ve half-siblings with help from Rucker’s grandmother and, at times, her two sisters and their families. At one point, there were 18 people living in a three-bedroom house in Charleston. “We didn’t have a lot, but we had everything we needed,” he says. Rucker’s mother was steadfast in her support of her son’s musical aspirations, even when Rucker dropped out of the University of South Carolina to focus on Hootie. “She said, ‘I hope you go back, but you know, do what you gotta do,’ ” says Rucker. “If I hadn’t had that, I don’t think I would be here right now.” (She died in 1992.)

What was missing in his life was his father. Rucker says he would go long periods—often days, some-times months—without seeing him. His mother was the one who went to all of Rucker’s football games, choir concerts, and early gigs. Rucker says he never asked his mother where Dad was because he knew his father would just show up

PARTY OF FIVE Rucker at his Charleston home with daughter Cary (middle), wife Beth, and their two kids, Jack and Daniela.

Rucker talks about his love for his

kids, comic books, and Barry Manilow at parade.com/rucker

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Page 13: Parade 0616

little changes. big savings.

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© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Page 14: Parade 0616

12 | JUNE 16, 2013

PH

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ER

“What I Hope You’ll Remember”

A dying father tries to explain a timeless

truth to his sons: They’ll likely

understand him be� er when they’re older

He heats his home with wood, and cuts and splits every piece of oak that goes into that furnace. When the fi shing is good in late winter, he uses a ladder to cross open water to reach the receding ice. He’s a perfectionist, and his sense of pride is often too much for his ego to handle, but when he takes on a task, you can bet it will be done exceptionally well.

When I hear people call him crazy for ignoring a warning about what can’t or shouldn’t be done, I can only nod and smile, because I’ve heard those same words as a soldier, a husband and father, and a cancer patient.

Our man-to-man experiences helped me temper my immature memories of him. His “madness” was actually about taking calcu-lated risks, often choosing a path of diffi culty and challenge over comfort, being literally and fi gu-ratively willing to walk on thin ice and relying on actions over words to get things done.

I know your memories of me may be dominated by visions of the same hard hand my dad held over me, and naturally I want you to see virtue in my madness. I can only hope my stories about his actions will help you see the wis-dom (and feel the love) in mine.

beyond me. All indications are that we deserved it. I once heard him yell that we owed him at least $15,000 for all the doors, vehicle interiors, furnishings, and tools we had destroyed. When I was 8 or 9, something snapped in him that showed us he was done with words. He cut off a piece of one of our hockey sticks and carved it into the instrument we knew forever after as “the Stick.” I can’t recall how many times we actually “got the Stick,” but just the idea of it was breathtaking.

“I love you” was not some-thing my dad said, nor some-thing I would have believed if he had. He spent most of his time working on his race car, fi shing or hunting, or playing softball. He wasn’t an absent father; he was just always busy. We were welcome to tag along if we

wanted, but there were no fond entreaties from him. And if we went along, we’d better bring lunch and a roll of toilet paper, because it was going to be a marathon.

When I think about my own mixed emotions and imperfect memories of my dad, I do wonder what you all will remember about me. This is a timeless consider-ation that is best illustrated by a quote attributed to Mark Twain: “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to

be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

I won’t be here when you turn 21. That’s the age when I was only starting to grasp the virtue in my dad’s words and actions.

As an adult, I watched him build his own home after he retired from construction. Despite a body worn hard by dozens of Minnesota winters, he went right back to working 10-hour days, for himself. Helping him with that house provided a hundred clues about a simple wis-dom I was blind to in my youth.

All Together Lt. Col. Weber and his wife, Kristin, with their three sons at a celebration in honor of the U.S. Army’s 237th birthday last summer.

From the book Tell My Sons by Lt. Col. Mark M. Weber. Copyright © 2013 by Mark Weber. Reprinted by arrange-

ment with Ballantine Books, an imprint of the Random House Pub-lishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved.

To watch a video about Lt. Col. Weber, go to parade.com/sons

After a routine physical revealed that Lt. Col. Mark M. Weber had

stage IV cancer, the 41-year-old dad began writing a letter to his boys, Matthew, Noah, and Joshua. That letter became a book called Tell My Sons, fi lled with the advice he wouldn’t be able to share in person. In this excerpt, Weber recounts what he learned from his own dad.

How my brothers and I didn’t end up murdered by our father is

Views By Lt. Col. Mark M. Weber

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Page 15: Parade 0616

when he felt like it. Won-dering was wasted energy.

“He was just living his life, I guess,” says Rucker. That life included a 15-year gap in which he didn’t see his son at all, Rucker adds, until one night in 1994 when he showed up backstage before a Hootie concert. Rucker and bandmate Dean Felber were eating din-ner, and Rucker’s father just pulled up a chair. “I go, ‘Hey, how you doing?’ And he’s just, ‘Hey, how you doing?’ ” Rucker recalls. “I said, ‘Well, Dean, this is my dad.’ Dean looked at him and said, ‘I never thought I’d meet you.’ ”

Rucker eventually found peace with his father’s absence: “I’m not mad at him or anything. I thank him for teaching me what not to do because now I just want to be with my kids all of the time.”

Indeed, whereas Rucker never knew when his dad would drop in, he is “crazy” about stay-ing in touch with his family. He talks to his oldest daughter every day, and texts constantly with all three kids, chiming in with a simple “What’s going on?” At home, he plays basket-ball and football with Jack, or watches movies with Dani. “We just fi nished all of The Lord of the Rings,” he says. “She cried fi ve times during the last one.”

Rucker says he’s “always try-ing to be there” for his kids. “I hope they always know they can ask, ‘Dad, do you want to ... ?’ And that my answer is ‘Yes.’ You know: ‘Dad, do you want to go to a movie?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Dad, do you want to play football?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Dad, do you … ?’ YES.’ ”

If you knew now

what you’ll know then,

you’d probably do one little thing

to prevent Alzheimer’s disease

from happening to you.

Even if no one in your family has had Alzheimer’s disease, you are still at risk.

In fact, one in eight baby boomers will face it. But with your help and some little things

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affected and even a breakthrough in your lifetime. And that? That will be BIG.

THE BRAINS BEHIND SAVING YOURS.TM

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© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Page 16: Parade 0616

TableAround the

14 | JUNE 16, 2013

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daughters’ childhoods.

My dad passed away fi ve years

ago, so I hold those lunches

close to my heart. My daughter is

hooked on that croque-monsieur,

and I make a version at home for

her once a week. (My youngest

won’t touch it: She likes melted

cheese; she likes ham. But

together? Nope.) I brown slices of

ham and layer it with cheddar or

Gruyère. She loves it. I want her to

remember it as more than a once-

in-a-while event. —John Donohue

Make the recipe

and post a pic

at facebook.com/parademag

For more dad-friendly recipes, check out John’s blog at www.stayatstovedad.com

Lunch with DadSOMETIMES A GRILLED

CHEESE ISN’T

JUST A SANDWICH

Family Time

My dad didn’t cook.

The only thing he

knew how to do in

the kitchen was turn on

the Mr. Coffee machine. But he

was a diner afi cionado. On certain

Saturdays, I went with him to his

law offi ce in White Plains, N.Y.,

and at midday we’d stop by his

regular joint, an old-school lunch

counter. He went there almost

every day to eat a BLT and a bowl

of rice pudding over the New York

Post, so he was on a fi rst-name

basis with the waitress. I felt

special just sitting on the vinyl

stool beside him.

I always ordered the same

thing: a grilled cheese sandwich

with bacon. I can still smell

the crisp meat, see the orange

cheddar dripping over the side

of the white bread, and feel the

grease on my 8-year-old fi ngers.

It was a radical experience. I’m

one of fi ve children, and putting

bacon on grilled cheese was

not something my mother had

time to do. Now that I do most of

the cooking for my own family, I

sympathize.

A few years ago, my daughters,

who are now 6 and 8, came to my

offi ce and ate at the cafeteria with

me. My eldest ordered a croque-

monsieur, and I wondered if she

would remember that meal the

way I’ve looked back on those

lunches with my father.

I didn’t understand why I saw

so little of my dad growing up, but

now that I work for a living, I get it.

Sometimes I fear I’m missing my

GRILLED CHEESE WITH FRIZZLED HAM1 Bu� er 1 side of 2 slices good-quality bread. 2 Warm a dry cast-iron skillet over medium-high heat and brown 1 to 3 slices ham (about 1 oz), � ipping once. 3 Reduce heat to medium-low and put bread slices in skillet, bu� er-side down. Cover 1 bread slice with thinly sliced cheddar or Gruyère. Layer ham on cheese, then top ham with more cheese (about 2 oz cheese total). 4 Flip other piece of bread and put on top of ham and cheese, bu� er side up. Cook until cheese melts and bread browns, � ipping at least once. If bread browns faster than cheese melts, reduce heat and cover pan. If cheese melts and bread isn’t browned, increase heat for last minute.

PER SANDWICH: 510 cal, 26g carbs, 23g protein, 34g fat, 105mg chol, 1,060mg sodium, 2g fi ber

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Page 17: Parade 0616

©2013 BGE 01-13102-001-HIR

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© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Page 18: Parade 0616

PH

OT

O: A

ND

Y R

EY

NO

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S

WHAT’S THE “KENNECTION”

BETWEEN ALL FIVE ANSWERS?

KennectionsBy Ken Jennings

HOW TO PLAY

All � ve correct answers havesomething in common.

Can you � gure out what it is?

1. The title le� er of TV’s V stood for what race of alien invaders of Earth?

2. What famed speech by Martin Luther King Jr. ends, “Thank God almighty, we are free at last”?

3. What Billy Crystal character on Saturday Night Live would tell his guests, “You look mah-velous”?

4. The 1906 International Radiotelegraphic Convention o� cially adopted what code in place of CQD?

5. In June 1965, France refused to take part in a 150th anniversary ceremony to be held at what Belgian ba� le� eld?

MAKE MORE

KENNECTIONS!

Play trivia puzzles by Ken Jennings and

readers at parade.com/ken

ANSWERS: 1. THE VISITORS;2. “I HAVE A DREAM”; 3. FERNANDO; 4. SOS; 5. WATERLOO ALL ARE ABBA SONGS

© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.

Page 19: Parade 0616

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© PARADE Publications 2013. All rights reserved.