Overcoming Grief and ?· Grief and Loss Some of the theories about grief/bereavement Each person’s journey is different to every else’s journey (and reasons) Why do people get stuck

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<ul><li><p>Overcoming Grief and Loss</p><p>Gillian EvansCCAA Conference </p><p>27 March, 2010</p></li><li><p>Grief and Loss</p><p> Some of the theories about grief/bereavement Each persons journey is different to every </p><p>elses journey (and reasons) Why do people get stuck</p></li><li><p>THEORIES Wordens 4 Task model</p><p> Accept the reality of the loss Experience the pain of grief Adjust to an environment in which the significant </p><p>person is no longer present Reinvest emotional energy</p></li><li><p>THEORIES Randos 6 R Process</p><p> Recognise the Loss Reaction to the separation Recollect and reexperience the deceased and </p><p>the relationship Relinquish the old attachments to the deceased </p><p>and the old assumptive world Readjust to move adaptively into the new world </p><p>without forgetting the old Reinvest</p></li><li><p>THEORIES Continuing Bonds model (Silverman and Klass </p><p>1996) Dual Process Model (Stroebe and Schut, 1999)</p></li><li><p>Gills Theory!!</p><p> All say it is a cyclical process not linear All say if not processed, then the loss can </p><p>eg be carried into new relationships All acknowldge each others work, but sees </p><p>flaws in it</p></li><li><p>All the parts of the process working together for the best outcome</p></li><li><p>INFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVING</p><p> Personality process/prexisting psychological conditions Healthy adjustment and adaptation</p></li><li><p>INFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVING</p><p> Coping ability Men do Women emotion </p><p>based</p></li><li><p>INFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVING</p><p> Social supportThe most helpful people areThose who were not afraid to talk about the death. They did not look the other way, or change the subject, or run off to some important task. They stayed with me. They held fast. They were afraid, but they were not so afraid that they could not be with me in my fear. Thank God for them.</p><p>http://images.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://www.creativeclass.com/creative_class/_wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/gamepieces.jpg&amp;imgrefurl=http://www.creativeclass.com/creative_class/2009/06/22/social-support/&amp;usg=__UPJrPckHYbB_qRlWqGYA0C95ZT8=&amp;h=282&amp;w=425&amp;sz=135&amp;hl=en&amp;start=25&amp;itbs=1&amp;tbnid=801BCnKpXfycEM:&amp;tbnh=84&amp;tbnw=126&amp;prev=/images?q=social+support&amp;start=20&amp;hl=en&amp;sa=N&amp;gbv=2&amp;ndsp=20&amp;tbs=isch:1</p></li><li><p>INFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVING</p><p> Mars vs Venus (Men and women grieve differently) Sometimes applied to people who are unable to </p><p>work through their grief, despite the passage of time. </p></li><li><p>INFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVING</p><p> Disenfranchised grief Relationship is not </p><p>recognised The loss is not </p><p>recognised The griever is not </p><p>recognised</p></li><li><p>INFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVING</p><p> Pathological grief Sometimes applied to people who are </p><p>unable to work through their grief, despite the passage of time.</p><p> Social norms dictate what is a suitable time frame</p></li><li><p>HOW TO WORK THROUGH IT</p><p> Accept the reality (no masks) (what is the meaning of the loss for you)</p></li><li><p>It is normal to hurt deeply</p><p> Bereavement i.e. death of a loved one) Financial ruin, hopes and dreams</p></li><li><p>It is normal to hurt deeply</p><p> OK TO CRY</p></li><li><p>Adjust to an environment in which the significant person is no longer present</p></li><li><p>There may be feelings of guilt</p></li><li><p>MAY BE FEELINGS OF ANGER</p></li><li><p>Reasons why each persons journey may proceed differently from another </p><p>persons journey 2 ways to see the loss How the loss came about</p><p> Anticipated/unanticipated The closeness of the relationship</p><p> The psychological nature of the relationship to you of the loss</p><p> Persons coping style Own life experience</p></li><li><p>Same destination two Paths</p></li><li><p>Tips/tricks to help our clients</p><p> (what is the meaning behind the loss) put out what is mulling around in their </p><p>heads and bodies, by: ask them to talk to the deceased, (two chairs) use some of the Innovative Resources cards to </p><p>enable them to put out on the table, what they can barely acknowledge. </p></li><li><p>Tips/tricks to help our clients</p><p> ask them to put the feeling as a colour they choose, as small or as large as they are safe to do so on a sheet of paper.</p></li><li><p> Write a letter to God Create a scrapbook about the loss, Take care </p><p> physically, eating, exercise watch the alcohol</p><p> Plan ahead for anniversaries, and milestones</p></li><li><p>The End</p><p> At some time it will be completed or good enough completed. Christians know that God loves us, and has </p><p>our best in his hands They may need to have a two chair conversation with God. That is OK.</p><p> contd</p></li><li><p>From this..</p></li><li><p>To this.</p></li><li><p> As the reflective selfs powers grow, and both insight and affirmative strength are deepened, the unavoidable result is a a greater ability to appreciate oneself, the world, and life. This does not in any way deny the value of the deceaseds relationship but is perhaps the greatest testament to it. A life now passed, through grieving it, has immeasurably added to our capacity to transcend death, and once again lead fulfilling lives. (Nerken, 1993)</p></li><li><p>References/Helpful articles Australian Centre for Grief and </p><p>Bereavement www.grief.org.aulots of help for professionals and for carers, and for the bereaved</p><p> A grief Observed CS Lewis an oldie but a goldie</p><p> DeFrain et al, 1990, The psychological effects of a stillbirth on surviving family members ,Baywood Publishing Co., Inc USA</p><p> Doka, K.J. 1989 Disenfranchised grief in Death: Current Perspectives, 4th Edn, eds J.B. Williamson and ES Shneidman, 1995, Mayfield Publishing Company, Mountain View, Ca, pp 216-224</p><p> Nerken, IR 1993 Grief and the reflective self: Toward a clearer model of loss resolution and growth, Death studies, vol 17</p><p> Silverman, PR and Klass, D 1996 Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief, eds D Klass, PR Silverman and SL Nickman; Taylor and Francis, Briston, PA </p><p> Stroebe, Margaret and Schut, Henk published in Death Studies, Volume 23, Issue 3 March 1999 , pages 197 - 224</p><p> Worden,J William, (2008) Grief Counselling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner (4th Ed)</p><p>http://www.grief.org.au/http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/title~db=all~content=t713657620http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/title~db=all~content=t713657620http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/title~db=all~content=t713657620~tab=issueslist~branches=23http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/title~db=all~content=g713841283</p><p>Overcoming Grief and LossGrief and LossTHEORIESTHEORIESTHEORIESGills Theory!!Slide Number 7INFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVINGINFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVINGINFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVINGINFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVINGINFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVINGINFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVINGSlide Number 14HOW TO WORK THROUGH ITSlide Number 16Slide Number 17It is normal to hurt deeplyIt is normal to hurt deeplyAdjust to an environment in which the significant person is no longer presentThere may be feelings of guiltMAY BE FEELINGS OF ANGERReasons why each persons journey may proceed differently from another persons journeySlide Number 24Tips/tricks to help our clientsSlide Number 26Tips/tricks to help our clientsSlide Number 28The EndSlide Number 30Slide Number 31Slide Number 32References/Helpful articles</p></li></ul>

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