Overcoming Grief and ? Grief and Loss Some of the theories about grief/bereavement Each persons journey is different to every elses journey (and reasons) Why do people get stuck

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  • Overcoming Grief and Loss

    Gillian EvansCCAA Conference

    27 March, 2010

  • Grief and Loss

    Some of the theories about grief/bereavement Each persons journey is different to every

    elses journey (and reasons) Why do people get stuck

  • THEORIES Wordens 4 Task model

    Accept the reality of the loss Experience the pain of grief Adjust to an environment in which the significant

    person is no longer present Reinvest emotional energy

  • THEORIES Randos 6 R Process

    Recognise the Loss Reaction to the separation Recollect and reexperience the deceased and

    the relationship Relinquish the old attachments to the deceased

    and the old assumptive world Readjust to move adaptively into the new world

    without forgetting the old Reinvest

  • THEORIES Continuing Bonds model (Silverman and Klass

    1996) Dual Process Model (Stroebe and Schut, 1999)

  • Gills Theory!!

    All say it is a cyclical process not linear All say if not processed, then the loss can

    eg be carried into new relationships All acknowldge each others work, but sees

    flaws in it

  • All the parts of the process working together for the best outcome

  • INFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVING

    Personality process/prexisting psychological conditions Healthy adjustment and adaptation

  • INFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVING

    Coping ability Men do Women emotion

    based

  • INFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVING

    Social supportThe most helpful people areThose who were not afraid to talk about the death. They did not look the other way, or change the subject, or run off to some important task. They stayed with me. They held fast. They were afraid, but they were not so afraid that they could not be with me in my fear. Thank God for them.

    http://images.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://www.creativeclass.com/creative_class/_wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/gamepieces.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.creativeclass.com/creative_class/2009/06/22/social-support/&usg=__UPJrPckHYbB_qRlWqGYA0C95ZT8=&h=282&w=425&sz=135&hl=en&start=25&itbs=1&tbnid=801BCnKpXfycEM:&tbnh=84&tbnw=126&prev=/images?q=social+support&start=20&hl=en&sa=N&gbv=2&ndsp=20&tbs=isch:1

  • INFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVING

    Mars vs Venus (Men and women grieve differently) Sometimes applied to people who are unable to

    work through their grief, despite the passage of time.

  • INFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVING

    Disenfranchised grief Relationship is not

    recognised The loss is not

    recognised The griever is not

    recognised

  • INFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVING

    Pathological grief Sometimes applied to people who are

    unable to work through their grief, despite the passage of time.

    Social norms dictate what is a suitable time frame

  • HOW TO WORK THROUGH IT

    Accept the reality (no masks) (what is the meaning of the loss for you)

  • It is normal to hurt deeply

    Bereavement i.e. death of a loved one) Financial ruin, hopes and dreams

  • It is normal to hurt deeply

    OK TO CRY

  • Adjust to an environment in which the significant person is no longer present

  • There may be feelings of guilt

  • MAY BE FEELINGS OF ANGER

  • Reasons why each persons journey may proceed differently from another

    persons journey 2 ways to see the loss How the loss came about

    Anticipated/unanticipated The closeness of the relationship

    The psychological nature of the relationship to you of the loss

    Persons coping style Own life experience

  • Same destination two Paths

  • Tips/tricks to help our clients

    (what is the meaning behind the loss) put out what is mulling around in their

    heads and bodies, by: ask them to talk to the deceased, (two chairs) use some of the Innovative Resources cards to

    enable them to put out on the table, what they can barely acknowledge.

  • Tips/tricks to help our clients

    ask them to put the feeling as a colour they choose, as small or as large as they are safe to do so on a sheet of paper.

  • Write a letter to God Create a scrapbook about the loss, Take care

    physically, eating, exercise watch the alcohol

    Plan ahead for anniversaries, and milestones

  • The End

    At some time it will be completed or good enough completed. Christians know that God loves us, and has

    our best in his hands They may need to have a two chair conversation with God. That is OK.

    contd

  • From this..

  • To this.

  • As the reflective selfs powers grow, and both insight and affirmative strength are deepened, the unavoidable result is a a greater ability to appreciate oneself, the world, and life. This does not in any way deny the value of the deceaseds relationship but is perhaps the greatest testament to it. A life now passed, through grieving it, has immeasurably added to our capacity to transcend death, and once again lead fulfilling lives. (Nerken, 1993)

  • References/Helpful articles Australian Centre for Grief and

    Bereavement www.grief.org.aulots of help for professionals and for carers, and for the bereaved

    A grief Observed CS Lewis an oldie but a goldie

    DeFrain et al, 1990, The psychological effects of a stillbirth on surviving family members ,Baywood Publishing Co., Inc USA

    Doka, K.J. 1989 Disenfranchised grief in Death: Current Perspectives, 4th Edn, eds J.B. Williamson and ES Shneidman, 1995, Mayfield Publishing Company, Mountain View, Ca, pp 216-224

    Nerken, IR 1993 Grief and the reflective self: Toward a clearer model of loss resolution and growth, Death studies, vol 17

    Silverman, PR and Klass, D 1996 Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief, eds D Klass, PR Silverman and SL Nickman; Taylor and Francis, Briston, PA

    Stroebe, Margaret and Schut, Henk published in Death Studies, Volume 23, Issue 3 March 1999 , pages 197 - 224

    Worden,J William, (2008) Grief Counselling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner (4th Ed)

    http://www.grief.org.au/http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/title~db=all~content=t713657620http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/title~db=all~content=t713657620http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/title~db=all~content=t713657620~tab=issueslist~branches=23http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/title~db=all~content=g713841283

    Overcoming Grief and LossGrief and LossTHEORIESTHEORIESTHEORIESGills Theory!!Slide Number 7INFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVINGINFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVINGINFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVINGINFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVINGINFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVINGINFLUENCES ON THE PROCESS OF GRIEVINGSlide Number 14HOW TO WORK THROUGH ITSlide Number 16Slide Number 17It is normal to hurt deeplyIt is normal to hurt deeplyAdjust to an environment in which the significant person is no longer presentThere may be feelings of guiltMAY BE FEELINGS OF ANGERReasons why each persons journey may proceed differently from another persons journeySlide Number 24Tips/tricks to help our clientsSlide Number 26Tips/tricks to help our clientsSlide Number 28The EndSlide Number 30Slide Number 31Slide Number 32References/Helpful articles

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