The Oldest Recorded Facebook Messages Still Available Online Between Me and Everyone I’ve Kissed So Far As of February 14, 2014

Otis Pig

2014 share-alike attribution license.

No results

4

3/12, 12:19am

speak speak

??

hey

what are you doing

nothing important or fun

will you come spend the night with me

can i finish what i’m doing first?

5

how come you didnt respod to my text messages

i didn’t get them

i mean i haven’t checked my phone

those are all terrible messages

yes

6

3/12, 12:19am

Joel, that picture, yikes. Are you ok?

Do you still believe that?

Have you found a means for it?

Just tell me you were exaggerating please.

Does it hurt much?

I still don’t get it.

7

I think the breakdown started when I went to get my legs waxed because

a.) I was lonely

b.) I didn’t want him to be disappointed

c.) I’m passive aggressively spending money to hurt him.

[which may also be the reason i am contacting you]

And I don’t even believe in it, I seriously think it is morally wrong.

8

Mostly I’m glad you’re out there.

He just needs all of my attention right now.

Godspeed to you and yours.

No results

No results

11

No results

5/19, 12:15pm

You make the sun rise in my heart.

12

okay good luck with the rest of your day

13

11/26, 4:55pm

how are you?

good!

how are you?

super duper good

YEAH

coooooool

fuck yeah

this is great

14

and i was going to ask

but you’re already here

ha

i was going to ask

but i dont really know

other than it’s great!

ha

15

listen i have to go

can i have your number?

509 280 8964

great! see you!

super! bye!

16

1/1, 7:43pm

just reminding you my boyfriend & i are coming out to california on the 9th. we would like to stay with you & emji too if they’re around. we could cook you dinner. would you have space on couch/a bed for a day or two?

let me know.

17

You are welcome to stay at our place a night or two. We have a bed couch thing whatever those are called. I work on Mondays and Thursdays.

Let me know which day or days you want to stay.

18

12/8, 4:51am

hello?

are you there?

you’re the only other one awake

do you have phone?

hi did you get my message?

19

1/1, 7:43pm

yr really coming to the bay? That is great!

let’s hang out

Totally. :-)

you’re welcome to stay with me while yr here

Haha that is super nice of you, but I already have a place to stay

oh ha ok

20

10/10, 8:44am

You are kissing me on the ear while i write this!

http://open.spotify.com/user/123133782/playlist/0SkqazsO9R2c6uVnZc3Jk2

21

8/17, 2:20pm

:-(

:-/

:-)

:-o

how do we video chat?

22

10/10, 8:44am

ugh why aren’t you in my bed

computer not as good to cuddle with as person

don’t you remember the sound of music

?

i find you rather un-lame

well...ha. goodnight.

23

10/2, 10:55pm

wait who are steve and lindsey?

poets - steve orth, lindsey boldt

oh one day i will know about poets

aren’t you one?

yea but i’m more of an impostor

how?

idk u’ll see

24

8/17, 2:20pm

facebook is freaking me out

i hate that i care

maybe its a glitch

anyways i’m feeling better

i want to be friends in real life

i assume you hate all my dog pictures

25

1/21, 12:38pm

hey!! do you want to hang out!

Seen Feb 3

No results

27

No results

10/13, 5:10pm

i stopped by your house last night i thought there was a show but no, i miss oakland i’m working for a woman now i need more copies of that book you showed me do they sell them where you work i thought there was a show but no, nothing. hopefully i will be back to 56th someday! let me know

28

1/28, 5:23pm

the last thing you said to me in person was

“if I don’t come back u know it’s safe”

lol

hahaha

yes

You can write this book too

It’s super easy and fun. All the words already there. Just go through your Facebook message history with every person you’ve kissed so far, and pull lines from the earliest available chats. If you search for someone you’ve kissed and no results appear, don’t feel bad. Just write No Results. Facebook isn’t perfect.

– Be discerning, and sensitive of private information

– Be brief. Treat it like a poem but stay honest

– Make each poem title the time stamp of that message

– Don’t include the names of your sweethearts

– Never indicate who is speaking

Send your text to otis@timelessinfinitelight.com. For the first 20 responses (or until March 15th, whichever comes first), I will lay out a book that looks exactly like this book, except that it will be full of your internet romance memories instead of mine. You can do whatever you want with it: print it, share it, disown it. But I won’t lay out anything I find ignorant or distasteful. Sorry haters. Love is real!

TIMELESS INFINITE LIGHT is an Oakland-based small press that publishes poetry and environs with a heavy, west-coast lean towards the experimental/political/mystical. Sometimes our books look like books, and sometimes they don’t. Join us step into the lifestream fuck the police.

timelessinfinitelight.com