nineteen hopes

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NINETEEN HOPES jer johns

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Nineteen Hopes is the first book from Jer Johns' 5-Year Journey. Jer is traveling from place-to-place, meeting people, taking photos, and sharing stories as he goes. Nineteen Hopes is a book of experiences he had and lessons he learned from the first 19 people he stayed with in 13 different cities for the beginning the 5-Year Journey.

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Page 1: Nineteen Hopes

NINETEEN HOPES jer johns

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When I started this journey on January 1st, 2014. I really didn’t know what to expect or if I should really expect anything. All I knew was that I wanted to travel, meet people, have experiences, and take photos. That was it. What this journey has become is something way beyond what I ever thought it would be. Sometimes it’s great and really easy to get through, other times it’s more challenging than I ever expected it to be. There are times that I look at it and wonder what the hell I got myself into and other times that I realize why I do this. It’s all about the stories and lessons. It’s all about seeing places and meeting people and then taking that experience (whatever it happens to be) , making the best of it, learning what I can from it, and then hopefully sharing what I learn in a way that might teach, inspire, and/or entertain others. When people ask why I started this journey or what inspired me, I always mention Robert Frank and his book ‘The Americans’ where he traved around America off-and-on for a couple of years capturing street photos of what society in the United States was like in the 50s. I also reference some more recent projects like ‘Humans of New York’ or ‘Craigslist Joe’, but really my journey isn’t much of a project. I share about the people I meet, the places I see, and the experiences I have but it’s nothing is ever set in stone. EVER. Usually projects have rules they follow or an outcome they seek, I don’t. I don’t have any outcome that I seek other than letting this journey take me to where it will and that can mean traveling the world or ending up staying in one place and have experienes and meeting people or it could take me somewhere more private, peaceful, and alone. While that would end the sharing for the time being, I’d be okay with it, because I’m all about going where this journey takes me and if that’s where it takes me, then so be it. For now, my journey has taken me from giving up almost all of my physical possessions and has me traveling around meeting and sometimes staying with random strangers and then taking photos and writing about about the experience on 5yearjourney.com. This book is intended to be a collection of stories and lessons that I’ve learned from meeting and staying with the first 19 hosts that have invited me into their homes and lives to capture photos and write about my experiences with them. This is not the telling of their life stories. It is not everything that I took from the experience of staying with them. It is one brief story or lesson learned from my time with them. The contents of this book are in no way me advising others how to live. It is more so notes for myself. Not everyone would or should go on a 5-year journey. What works for me may not work for you and that’s fine. I am putting this collection together because I want something that isn’t just on a website, but also in physical form. I wanted something that I could hold in my hands physically later in life. This book will not be edited. I want it to be real. It will be flawed. There will be typos and the photos aren’t all the “best” by some photographers impossible standards, but they are mine and I love them and the people that are in them. If you want perfection, you’re living in the wrong world. This is real. I don’t have the funds to pay an editor and even if I did, I wouldn’t. I’d rather this book and the collection of books that will follow be raw just like the life that each of us is handed. Here we go.

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This book is dedicated to everyone who has ever said “I can’t” (that’s you!). You not only can, but you should and if you have, you should continue to. You have one shot at this life. You don’t want to get to the end and have a list of regrets from not trying. It’d be better to have stories from everything you tried. In the end, all we own is stories. Live your life.

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Brian - Hunt, New York January 1-8, 2014 Take a chance and see what happens! Brian took a huge chance on me. I hadn’t stayed with any hosts yet. He came across a post I made on Craigslist, read what I had to say, contacted me, and then agreed to let me come and stay with him. That could have gone all sorts of bad, but it didn’t. Now, I’m not saying that I think everyone should just let random strangers come and stay with them. What I am saying is that sometimes you should go with your intuition on things instead of always being afraid to live your life. If you’re not ever willing to take a chance in life, what’s the point in living. Learn to follow your intuition and to let it guide you. You’re bound to make mistakes at times, but we all make mistakes. Learn from them and move on.

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Shafiq - Buffalo, NY January 8-15, 2014 Not everyone that’s different from you, wants you to be like them. Stop feeling challenged by different points of view! Be open to learning from others. Ever since being my time in the Air Force I have prided myself on being open to connecting with people from all races. After having grown up in an area that there was only one local Asian family, I had only seen a couple of black people in my life other than on television and they weren’t local, and there wasn’t any such thing as Latinos (all latinos were consider just Mexicans regardless of where they came from); my experience in the Air Force introduced me to all sorts of different races of people from all walks of life. I met Shafiq and didn’t know until my arrival that he was Muslim. I am sorry to say that prior to meeting him, I was scared of Muslims or the idea of being around Muslims. I had this weird thought in my mind that all Muslims had intentions of terrorism or at least ties to terrorism. It’s such a narrow way of thinking and I regret it, especailly after having met and spent a week with Shafiq. We had such a great time together. We had intense discussions about what family meant to each of us and we had down time where we watched crazy stupid TV and laughed our asses off. You really never know how a person will be until you meet them, don’t let a photo or a label change your opinion of them before you ever give them a chance to show you who they are.

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Michael “The Clock Guy” - Buffalo, NY January 15-17, 2014 I had had a really bad feeling about Michael before ever meeting him (that’s a horrible way to start this, but it’s the truth.). He had begged me to let him host me (no one has ever begged me other than him since....yet) and to be a part of my journey. I had this (ridiculous) rule that I wouldn’t spend any more than week in a city and I wouldn’t spend any more than a week with each host. I had already scheduled to stay with Shafiq when Michael contacted me through the same Craigslist ad. I told Michael that I had already planned on staying my one week in Buffalo with Shafiq and apologized. He wasn’t having it, he responded and told me that Buffalo deserved more time than a week and that I should consider staying an additional week. I figured why not and agreed to it. The weeks leading up to staying with Michael he would send me emails to put Brian and Shafiq down for the way he was seeing that they were hosting me on 5yearjourney.com. I would tell him that every host would be different and I am sure that all places would have their ups and downs. He assured me that my experience with him would be amazing. I got to his place after having been with Shafiq. When I walked into Michael’s places the living room was covered in Clocks. There was no more space on the walls. I asked him how long he had been collecting clocks and he responded and said that he didn’t collect clocks and that it wasn’t a collection at all. He then proceeded to give me a tour of his place. The walls in the kitchen were covered in clocks. The walls in the bathroom were covered in clocks. The walls in his bedroom were covered in clocks. It was a collection. Later that night I got an official count of the clocks in the living room. He had 77 clocks in the living room alone. After he finished the tour, he immediately went and grabbed a stack of papers. He excitedly told me that I needed to read them all and share them as a part of my journey. The letters were letters from his son who was in jail for killing his girlfriend. I was a bit freaked out. Later that night at 3 am, he came through the living room where I was sleeping on the couch and went to the kitchen to make coffee. That’s not a big deal. I just laid there with my eyes shut until he crossed back over, but he never crossed back over. He stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room, staring at me drinking coffee. On the 3rd day he told me that I needed to lock myself in his room for the day. That was when I decided that it was time to go to my next stop.

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Mel - Frewsburg, NY January 17-23, 2014

Not Everyone is going to buy into youand what you’re doing with your life. If you believe in yourself and know what you are doing is right that’s all you need.

Mel either didn’t understand the purpose of 5-Year Journey or acted like he didn’t understand it. He would search and search for more to it and there wasn’t anything more to it. He thought I was crazy with some sort of crazy idea and he’s not alone. That’s reality. Not everyone is going to believe in you or the stuff you do. It shouldn’t detour you from doing what you do and if it does, then you didn’t believe in it enough yourself to continue, so they were correct in questioning you. Thankfully I was confident enough in who I am and what I’m doing to continue on the journey and I’m glad I did.

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Mel & Norma - Staunton, VA January 23-25, 2014 Remember to sing! Mel and his friend Norma drove me to Staunton, VA where I continued my journey to Harrisonburg, VA. We stayed in Staunton for 2 days. On the way there, we had so much fun. I love this woman. She would break out into song- usually theme songs from television shows when television sets just came on the market. She didn’t care, she was happy and wanted to sing. I loved it! I miss her. :)

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Abby, Sarah, & Joe - Harrisonburg, VA January 25 - February 1, 2014 Sometimes the small things mean more than the seemingly big things ever could. While I was with Abby, Sarah, & Joe; Abby (Sarah’s daughter) made me a lucky charm out of rubberbands. She wanted to make make me a full bracelet but didn’t get it completed in time, so she made me a lucky charm instead. I keep it in my pocket still today and anytime I get stressed or worried I reach into my pocket and hold it tightly. It helps. It’s something that so many people would think is so small, but to me it’s so big.

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Jecamiah - Washington, DC February 1-8, 2014 Everything that’s intended to work out, will work out. Anything else that doesn’t happen, wasn’t meant to. I got to my host’s place (not Jecamiah’s) in Washington, DC. He had agreed to host me and be a part of my journey and to be included on the website. Once I arrived, he backed out and said that he didn’t want to do it because he was too private for it. Externally I remained calm, but interntally I was so frustrated. I didn’t know what I was going to do or what I would put on 5yearjourney.com as the reason that I didn’t have a host. He told me that he was having a friend over to help do some practice interviews for a job. The friend came over, heard about what I was doing on my journey, and wanted to be a part of it. The friend ended up being Jecamiah. He wasn’t able to host me the whole week, but he was able to take me and show me the city. Everything worked out as it should and included Jecamiah on the website as my guide for the week. I couldn’t have asked for it to have worked out any better than what it did.

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Brad & Friends at UMBC - Baltimore, MD February 8-15, 2014 Brad and his friends at UMBC kept me on the go. I loved it. There was hardly ever a down moment. When one of them was gone to class another one was there to help show me around and to have new experiences. When Brad found out I was gay, he looked at me said that he accepted me regardless if I was gay or not. Closer to the end of the week, Brad brought me up on top of this big hill (It was really cold and there was snow on the ground AND I was starting to feel sick...but I went anyway). When we made it to the top of the hill we were able to have alone time and talk about life. I felt at peace and very open to talking to Brad about anything and everything. He’s that kind of person that makes you feel like you can open up to him. The day before I was scheduled to head out there was a snow storm and Brad offered to let me stay longer because there was no way that I would be able to get out. Cody, one of Brad’s roommates, brought me to do some indoor rock climbing. Making it to the top of that way, WOW! That feeling up there. It’s something else. I’m thankful that the whole group was open to being a part and being active in the participating in my journey. It wouldn’t have been the same otherwise.

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Kelly - Philadelphia February 15-20, 2014 Do what you love! Do what you’re passionate about! Kelly impressed me. He left a job at one of the biggest (if not the biggest) tech companies in the world, rented a woodworking space, and is pursuing a career in woodworking. He doesn’t make nearly the same amount of money that he was making before, but he’s doing what he loves and for him that’s what matters.

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Mike - Philadelphia February 20-21, 2014 Sometimes the timing IS right!

Mike is a reality tv producer in Philadelphia. About the time I went to stay with him I had this crazy idea that maybe I would be a good candidate for reality television with me being on this 5-year journey and all. It was something I thought I wanted. When he offered to host me and I found out that he was a reality tv producer, I had this idea that he might be interested in pursing something in the line of a reality tv show with me. I was wrong and I’m thankful that I was. I think that if what I’m doing became a full time reality tv show, it would be hard to keep it as genuine of an experience as it is. What I did get out of the situation is so much more valuable to me than a reality tv show would ever be, I got a friend in Mike. It doesn’t get better than that. Okay, that might sound a bit corny, but it’s true. haha.

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Will - Pittsburgh February 21-24, 2014

The Pro Couch Surfer Will was a bit intimidating, because he was what he would consider a pro couch surfer. Meaning that he had plenty of experience both sleeping on peoples couches (using couchsurfing.org) and had plenty of experience hosting people to sleep on his couch. He was all about the rules (both written and unwritten) and I was still very unfamiliar with it all. He had this map on his wall with different colored thumbtacs. One color was the places he had been using couchsurfing and the other color was for where people who stayed with him are from. Upon my arrival he warned of how easy it was for him to give away neutral reveiws and how it took earning a positive review and that he rarely gave them away. This scared me a whole lot. If I had a neutral or negative review from anyone it would slim the chances of me finding people to stay with in the future. The hardest part is that he didn’t really give many guidelines on what it would take to get a positive and not a neutral or negative. For the time with him, I lived in fear of getting a bad review or something going wrong. Thankfully, I made it through the time with him and we both gave each other positive reviews. Phew!! ;)

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Matt - Pittsburgh February 24-27, 2014 Love Where You Live! Matt has shown me that you should really love where you live. Not everyone I meet loves where they live, but Matt talks about his love of Pittsburgh. He still tries his hardest to convince me to come back and give it more time, something that I would consider after I travel a bit more. Either way, I love the city. Plus, it’s where the Andy Warhol Museum is and I love that!! Beyond any of that, I consider Matt like a brother. He’s been there for me and kept in touch at least weekly sometimes more to check in on me and the progress of 5YJ. It’s been a nice thing to have, especially with the traveling from place-to-place and the emotions that go with connecting with people and then having to leave and go into a new environment that I’m not always sure of.

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Bruce - Cleveland, OH February 27-28, 2014 March 3-6, 2014 Embrace the shit and the lessons that come from the experience of it. Bruce like so many other people is doing what he loves and like so many other people, he’s doing it and not making as much money as he should be. He lives in a shitty apartment in a shitty apartment building and doesn’t have family or loved ones nearby. He does it because he’s passionate about what he does. He looks past the shit to see the potential his position has to eventually be more. There’s no promise that it’ll get better, but he feels in his gut that it will and he works towards it. Life is like one very real video game. We have levels that we have to pass in order to move on to the next level. There’s shit that we have to go through in each level, but that shit only makes us stronger and more ready to face the next level. We can either figure out what the shit is and defeat it or we can stick around and swim in it and settle. I refuse to settle. I want what’s on the others side of that shit puddle. Bruce is swimming through that shit puddle, because he sees what’s on the other side and he likes what he sees. Like me (and hopefully like you), he doesn’t want to stay hanging out in the shit for the rest of his life. He refuses to settle, but he knows that he has to swim through the shit to get to the better stuff (we’ll call cake, I like cake) on the other side.

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Nacho - Oberlin, OH March 1-3, 2014 There are more important things than you. While I was with Nacho in Oberlin he ended up having to break away from me to spend some time with a student that needed counsiling. He was gone for some crazy amount of time (Like 8 hours) and left me in the library at the school where he works while he helped the student. In the moment, it felt like he was maybe being disrespectful of my time. That was a selfish thought to have. I had to take a step out and really come to terms with the fact that there are more important things than me and my time. That’s tough for some of us sometimes. We’d love to go through life believing that we are the most important thing. “Why not me?” “When will it be my turn to be successful?” “Why don’t people listen to me?” It’s all a pitty party. There are always things more important than what we have going on right now. We have to step out of our own life and selfish wants and see that there is a whole world around us. We all play a part in that bigger picture, but we are not the main part of that bigger picture. There isn’t a main part, so we can’t be the main part. We have to realize that we are all in this together, we are all the main part at the same time.

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Dan - Detroit March 6-13, 2014 Life is your stage, be your own star! Dan is one of those types of people that will take whatever life hands him and make it into something really great for himself and the people around him. So optimistic and positive. He’s a theater actor, but he’s always in character and the life of the party while still being really caring and making sure everyone feels like they’re a part of what’s going on. He realizes that life is his stage but he also realizes there are other people around him and that they all play a part and their parts are just as important. He doesn’t succeed if they don’t. He gets it. I love that about him.

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Dave - Detroit March 13-17, 2014 Give Back! Dave really amazed me because he was all about giving back to Detroit. He had lived in the city all of his life and refused to see it as something that was falling apart, but instead focused on giving back to the city for the life he had lived there. He managed multiple urban gardens, created art, and corated numerous art shows in an attempt to help young artists have a chance at becoming successful. He was always on the go and it was almost always on the way to do something that gave back to the community in some way or another.

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Joel (aka Disease) - Hamtramck, MI March 17-22, 2014 Joel is a graffiti artist living in Hamtramck, MI (basically Detroit). He took me out to do some urban exploration to see how some of Detroit is seemingly falling apart. He would use the opportunity to install some more of his art (spray paint) on the walls of houses and other buildings that were falling apart in the Detroit area. The way that he saw it was that the buildings looked like shit and he wanted to make them look better with his art. It was his creative outlet. I don’t think I would have had this opportunity if I hadn’t been on this journey to meet people and have these experiences. It’s not every day that you get to tag along with a graffiti artist while they explore and create their art.

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Josh - River Rouge, MI March 22-28, 2014 “All we own is stories.” While I was staying with Josh in River Rouge, MI (suburb of Detroit), he said something to me that really hit home. He said that money and things come and go, in the end all we own is stories. When he said that it made me realize that this journey is about stories. That’s what it’s about. My stories, your stories, our stories. That’s what this whole journey is. It’s about sharing and learning from one another. That’s special. That’s special beyond belief. Once we get to the point that we realize that things might be tough and we might not have everything we want in life, but we will always have stories and stories are really all we own in life. Everything comes and goes, but stories, stories stay with us.

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Jes + Lauren - Andersonville, Chicago March 28 - April 2, 2014 It’s okay to ask for help By the time that I arrived at Jes and Lauren’s in Andersonville, Chicago; I was tired and worn out from traveling so much. I was exhausted physically and emotionally I was torn up from having made so many connections with so many great people and then having to leave those people behind as I traveled to my next host(s). I was tired of having to ask people for help and I wasn’t seeing the importance of this journey the same way I had when I started out. One day, Jes told me that what I was doing was making a difference and I shouldn’t be afraid to ask people for help along the way. Still today, that it is hard for me to sit my pride down and ask for help, but I do see the value in what I’m doing on this journey and the experienes and stories that we’re all creating and sharing together. I know that sometimes I might have to ask for help and that it’s okay, but it doesn’t make it any easier to have to do. I do believe that if you’re putting good out into the universe, good will be returned to you even if you don’t see it right away.

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Thank you! I need to say some thank yous. First and foremost, thank you to all of the people who have graciously let me come into their homes and even more importantly their lives. You have shared something very special; not just with me but with anyone that has heard the stories, learned the lessons, or been entertained by the experiences we had together. You are what made this possible. Thank you! Thank you! Thank You! Thank you to everyone who has helped me continue this journey whether it be through words of support or buying me a meal or spending time with me to share your story or any shared experience together. It hasn’t gone unnoticed. Thank you! Thank you for purchasing this book. All funds from the sales of this book will go towards prostitutes & candy. Kidding. I appreciate you puchasing and reading the book and hope you take something away from it whether it be inspiration or entertainment, I hope it was worth the time and money spent on it. For more about the journey, visit 5yearjourney.com To see more of and to order prints of my work visit jerjohns.smugmug.com. You can also follow the journey on social networks: Facebook.com/jerjohns Twitter.com/microjer jerjohns.tumblr.com To host and/or contact me, you can email me at [email protected] Hope to see you out there on the journey!

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