Negotiation Skills for WomenKnowing what you want and how to go get it!

Everyday you negotiate!0 Even if you don’t think about it that way – you still

negotiate throughout your day0 No one is born a skilled negotiator – it takes practice0 Remember:

0Everything is negotiable0 Female vs Male negotiation styles do differ0 There are resources to help you learn to negotiate

confidently0 You can overcome the common mistakes made in

negotiating

Why don’t we negotiate?0 We don’t want to offend0 We want/need to be friends with everyone0 It upsets the balance0 Hard to separate personal vs business0 We don’t want to disagree0 Concerned what others think0 Question our own value; Am I worth it?

Everything is negotiable0 Almost everything is life is negotiable if you see it

that way0 Opportunities to negotiate exist in almost every

interaction0 You’re probably better at it than you think!

Can I have an

ice cream

mum? I’d rather you had an apple

Let’s go to the

coast for

ChristmasI take it you mean the Gold Coast?

Female vs Male Negotiation Styles0 Do any of these sound familiar?

0 Not asking for what you want for fear of damaging a relationship

0 Being hesitant about saying no because you’d like to keep everyone happy

0 Having much greater success at negotiating for someone else than your self

0 Getting flustered and emotional if a negotiation gets heated

0 Thinking the louder, tougher or smarter you are the better your chance at negotiation success

Men & Women have different negotiation styles0 Women value relationships over outcome0 Men leverage relationships to achieve goals0 Women make decisions based on what they feel they

need rather than what they are worth0 Men are more likely to ask for what they want0 Women are more likely to wait to be recognised0 Men talk for longer and interrupt more often!0 Men use more direct language0 Men tend to display more confidence than

women in performance oriented settings0 Women tend to set more modest goals

Handy female instincts0 Negotiation is about relationships….and girls are

good at relationships!0 Perception is a stronger natural instinct in females

than males0Picking up non-verbal signals (body language)0For the first 2 years or so females need to communicate

with children who cannot use language

0 Negotiation is ultimately an exercise in two-way communication0 Needs exist on both sides of the table0 Perspectives, ideas and feelings differ0 Shared understanding = mutual solutions

When is it worth it?0 While everything might be negotiable, you don’t want

to negotiate about everything0 The key….. YOU decide what’s worth negotiating

0 Identify & clarify your personal & professional goals

0 If you’re heart’s not in it, you’re less likely to be successful

Dissection of a negotiation0 Negotiation is based on how important something is

to two parties: yourself and the other negotiator0 Research is a critical yet hidden component0 Two-way communication process

0Demands & concessions (give and take)0 Precedents: what went before0 Experience: how often you’ve done this0 Personality traits and confidence0 Other parties: mediators, third-parties

0 Outcomes: immediate and/or ongoing

Tips for stronger negotiation

10 steps before the conversationSTEP WHAT

CONTENT

Step 1 Ascertain the scope of the exchange

Step 2 Determine the negotiation objectives

Step 3 Examine suppositions of both parties

Step 4 Collect relevant data

Step 5 Identify issues, sticking points and trade-offs

Step 6 Calculate preliminary bargaining position & ground rules

PROCESS

Step 7 Reveal other side’s needs & examine your own

Step 8 Produce your overall bargaining strategy

Step 9 Determine possible negotiating options: BATNA (see next)

Step 10 Enter into negotiations

What is BATNA?0 Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement

0Draft in advance0 Think like the other party – what’s most important to them,

where are they most likely to compromise0 Equally – what’s more important to you, where would you

be willing to compromise to give the other party a ‘win’

Before the conversation60% of the negotiation occurs before the conversation starts!

The best negotiators do their pre-work

meticulously

Preparation builds confidence0 Identify what it is you actually want0 Prepare your arguments in advance based on

objective research0 Bring your notes in with you or send an agenda

outlining your key points in advance0 In a business setting, try to tie your desired outcomes

with the objectives of the team or company0Not “ you say as a company that you respect work/life

balance so give me a four day week”0 What would you say instead?

Think collaboration –

0 Mutual goals or win-win0 Understand not just your needs but those of the other side0 Have pre-prepared your give and take

0 What is a nice to have that you are prepared to compromise on if needed?

0 Getting fired up and emotional can lead to an adverse outcome

0 Challenges are predictable: anticipate how the other person/party is likely to react and think about specific ways to respond

Not confrontation

Be Yourself!0 Common mistakes:

0 Adopting a negotiation style that does not reflect who you are (one you are not comfortable with)

0 People see through you if you’re trying to be something you are not (you will look weak)

0 You can be quiet and calm but still be strong0 You can disagree politely (no need for aggression)

Engaging & gaining buy-in0 The best negotiations are exercises in two-way

conversations0 Active listening, asking questions, reinforcing your

desire for a mutually beneficial outcome0Making sure the other party is being heard is a sign of

respect

0 Show appreciation for differences in perspective 0 “let me clarify that I understand where you are coming

from”

Avoiding clichés & disclaimers0 Don’t use jargon and clichés

0 Table thumping and aggression rarely work and are just embarrassing

0 “I think…”, “I feel…” are less forceful terms than “It’s clear that…” or “The market shows us that….”

Stay focused & on target

0 Keep to the point – don’t deviate0 Ask for more time to consider if you need to

0You usually don’t have to make a decision to accept an offer immediately

0 One conversation might not culminate in the final decision0 Remember - negotiation is a process

Seek a mentor0 Learn from someone who displays

outstanding negotiation skills 0 Use this as an opportunity to practice0 Role play your negotiations prior to

conducting them 0Ask your mentor for objective feedback

0 A little pep talk can do wonders for your confidence!

Common mistakes

0 Not being willing to say no0No is the most powerful word in negotiating!0Successful negotiators know when & how to say no0 Prepare properly, know your options, be flexible and be

realistic0 Remember that saying no isn’t personal0 You must be able to disagree rather than give in to

something that is contrary to your interests but you can be flexible in how to satisfy your interests

0 Not negotiating well when it’s for yourself0 Negotiate for yourself as if you were negotiating for

someone else (your colleagues, your kids, your family)

0 Ask for It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want (Linda Babcock & Sara Laschever)

0 www.careerwomen.com

0 www.negotiations.com

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