Volume 20, Number 2~ January 2010

Important Dates Page 3

Native Wellness Institute: Healthy Relationships Curriculum

The Native Wellness Institute (NWI) was funded by the Ad-ministration for Native Americans (ANA) to develop a healthy relationships curriculum based on Native American cultures and teachings. The Leading the Next Generations Healthy Relationships Curriculum has been rigorously re-viewed and field tested by Native trainers, elders, service pro-viders and communities. This project blends teachings of our ancestors with the reali-ties of today’s world, balancing mind, body, spirit, culture, and emotions, by creating and maintaining healthy relation-ships with our partners, our families, our communities and the world around us. The vision is of tribal communities supporting positive, healthy relationships and having access to information, mod-els, mentors, training, and resources for the development of such activities and programs. To that end, Red Voices will feature sections from the Leading the Next Generations Healthy Relationships Curriculum as part of an on-going se-ries throughout the next year. Future issues will cover:

Historical Trauma, Drama & Wellness Grow beyond the multigenerational impacts of historic trauma in our lives. Hunters & Gatherers - Gender Differences Recognize the strengths in our gender differences Healthy Conflict Resolution Practice healthier conflict resolution Healthy Communication Improve our current communication skills Coming Together Bringing two people closer together as a couple. Discover Healthy Intimacy Living in Balance Creating the relationship you want

Native Wellness Institute: Leading the Next Generations Introduction to Healthy Relationships

Introduction to Healthy Relationships: Leading the Next Generations

Reprinted with permission by NWI

“Our people lived a simple existence . The families lived together. The elders were respected and cared for. The aunties, uncles and grandparents all helped to watch over the young ones. Life’s teach-ings were passed from one generation to the next. The young ones were raised to be productive members of the village, ready to lead the next generations…”

From the play, Humpie Season by Pam James

Among the many Native peoples, our traditional teachings were a source of strength and survival. These teachings helped us to understand who we are, how we fit into the world and how we relate to the many things in the world around us. These teachings came in many forms. Some were teachings from an ancient time when the world was a very different place– before it changed into the world we know today. Some were teachings of the natural world– lessons from the animals, fish, birds, plants, and many other “people” who were the original teachers. And some were the lessons of the life experience of the previous generations - what they lived through, what they learned and how they pass this knowledge forward to help us sur-vive and thrive today.

Examining Native cultures and the many traditional teach-ings about establishing and maintaining healthy, commit-ted, long-term relationships– what may be called “marriage” today - we find there are many teachings still available to us and many remain just as valuable and beneficial to our couples, our families and communities of today as they were in keeping the lives, families and com-munities of our ancestors whole and healthy.

Continued page 2

Native Wellness Institute: Healthy Relationships Curriculum Page 1

Resources Page 4

Page 2 Volume 20, Issue 2

Aunties and Uncles were often the disciplinarians, but they were also role models. The young children modeled themselves after the older youth. The older youth modeled after the adults, often accompanying and assisting them through a number of daily or seasonal tasks while learning the role and responsi-bilities of an adult. Teaching and role modeling of healthy relationships would be passed through these activities. Parents were nurturers and primary caregivers, but were also the primary role models for their chil-dren. Many demonstrated that a woman was consid-ered sacred for her ability to bring new life into this world. They taught and modeled that to bring harm to a women or a child was one of the greatest in-sults to the gift of life. In part this was a recognition that we are not simply making decisions to serve our needs, but to serve the needs of the generations to come - for some, seven generations to come.

Different lessons were learned at different stages of life. As young people approached puberty, many cultures conducted ceremonies and provided in-struction on the changing expectations for the young person. This likely included detailed infor-mation reserved for the responsibilities of manhood and womanhood. There are many different practices around finding a mate and raising a family - political or family alli-ances, arranged marriages, dowries, and much more. Still, we can consider some practices and ex-pectations that seem widely recognized and ac-cepted. Continued next column

How a Relationship Should Be For many reasons, many of our families and communities did not teach us about building healthy relationships - we experienced domestic violence, boarding schools broke apart our families, alcoholism or addictions took one or both parents away, many struggle to survive grinding pov-erty. Rather then learn about healthy relationships, we learned about unhealthy ones. A healthy relationship ac-cepts each of us to be who we are without blame, shame, or guilt. “I’m comfortable with who I am when I’m with you.” In a healthy relationship our partner may not expect us to change, but we may choose to change because it’s better for ourselves and our relationship. There is love, honor, equality and respect that is mutually shared. There were many ceremonies, teachings and practices that taught and reinforced the importance of healthy relation-ships; they also taught what happens when relationships were unhealthy. If we raise healthier individuals - physi-cally, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and otherwise - they are better able to maintain healthier couple relations. A couple with a healthier relationship is better able to raise children in a healthy family. Healthier families would contribute to a healthier community, with people seeking to live in better balance with each other and with the world around them. Cultural Practice Reinforces Traditional Teachings A community’s traditional teachings about healthy rela-tionships are shared in many ways. The cultural practices of a community provided consistent reinforcement of these teachings. Many Native peoples may find the exam-ples listed below familiar, recognizing similar experiences among their own cultural practices. Grandparents were the teachers, sharing the wisdom gained through years of life experience. This passing of wisdom is an elemental part of becoming an Elder. They could share teachings about healthy relationships from their life experiences, from ancient stories or lessons from the animals - for example the loon selecting a mate for life. An Elder taught and role-modeled the importance of choosing your words carefully so as not to bring harm to another and to be careful where you place your feet so the generations to come will know to walk in a good way. They shared teachings of honor, respect, and striving for the good of the community.

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The goal of the Native American Women’s Public Awareness Campaign is to increase the Capacity of Native women in California to address alcohol and other drug (AOD) prob-lems and to improve family communication skills. The California Rural Indian Health Board, Inc., receives funding provided by the Califor-nia State Department of Alcohol and Drug Programs. Red Voices is published through the Native American Women’s Public Aware-ness Campaign on Alcohol and Other Drug Treatment and Prevention, contract # 07-00136-A-2. This Publication, for American Indian women and their families, is available electronically and in hard copy format to all California residents. Permission is not re-quired to reprint articles except those under copyright protection and/or reprinted with permission form other publications. Please cite source and send a copy to CRIHB.

Editor: Deborah Kawkeka Newsletter Design: Jennifer Parsons The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily the views or opinions of the California Rural Indian Health Board its staff or the State of California or the Department of Alcohol and Drug Programs.

When a couple is married or committed in a ceremony there is an expectation that this couple is going to stay together and raise a family. There were often ceremonies and public exercise related to this commitment and Elders would teach the couple of their roles and re-sponsibilities within the relationship. The man and woman often had clearly defined expectations within the culture and traditions of the community, both having valued responsibilities for their contribution to the relationship, to the family and community. In the absence of these traditional teach-ings, many Indian couples have few role models for healthy relating and the strategies used to strengthen families and promote positive relationships in the majority culture may not provide the same benefit for Native Families. There is a long, well-documented his-tory of cultural conflicts, oppression and other disruptions to the traditional cul-tures, lifestyles and relationships on many of our Native peoples. The cul-tural protective factors, or resiliency fac-tors, have been greatly diminished leav-ing many Native communities and Na-tive families lacking culturally relevant resources to create a balance of culture and tradition with the modern relation-ship lifestyles of today. A Continuing Value In each Native community the people shared the same teachings and values, passed down through untold genera-tions. These teachings, beliefs and val-ues helped to keep our Native communi-ties stable, healthy and resilient. Continued next column

In many of our Native communities we see a re-emergence of these beliefs, val-ues and practices, and an ever-growing commitment to re-awaken these teach-ings and bring them back as valuable ele-ments of who we are as a cultural com-munity. We do not look to statistics to demonstrate the effectiveness of these practices - our very existence as intact and vibrant Native communities today demonstrates the importance of these tra-ditional teachings and values will bring is full circle once again. Native Wellness Wellness is a concept of living in balance and harmony within yourself, in your re-lationships with others, and in your place in the world. It is rooted in the traditional values on many Native people and can provide us a path for how we choose to live our lives. Walking a path of wellness has subtle variations from one cultural region to another but most generally agree that wellness in mind, body, spirit and heart are essential elements. Many would also add the importance of em-bracing the teachings of our ancestors - Living those values that allowed our an-cestors to survive and thrive for untold generations. Walking a path of wellness simply means everyday we recognize that we get to make choices about the kind of life we want to live each day. We get to select our attitudes, our perceptions and our goals. We realize we are responsible for our actions and our choices. We can move away from blame, shame, and guilt and we can learn and grow no matter what stage of life we may be in. We get to decide how we will behave in every instance. We recognize our choices will determine our future and strive to make decisions to improve our lives and our relationships with others. Continued page 4

Wellness of the mind includes an appreciation for learning. It recog-nizes we have to release stress: that we set personal goals and evaluate where we are in life. It involves deliberate decision-making and a conscious effort to seek wisdom. These and other ef-forts of caring for our mental health are to be balanced with the other elements of our lives. Wellness of body means taking good physical care of self - includ-ing regular healthy exercise, proper nutrition, adequate rest and relaxation, good sleep habits, at-tention to hygiene, and getting proper medical and dental care. Life can often get hard and busy and it is all too easy for us not to take care of physical health, invit-ing unhealthiness.

California Rural Indian Health Board, Inc.

Phone: 916-929-9761 Ext. 1508 Fax: 916-929-7246 E-mail: jennifer.parsons@crihb.net

4400 Auburn Blvd. , 2nd Floor Sacramento, CA 95841

Wellness of the spirit is actively at-tending to your spiritual health. Whether you choose to practice pri-vately, participate in ceremonies, meditate, sweat, or simply reflect on your place in the world, there is wide-spread agreement among many tribal and non-tribal cultures that caring for our spirits is essential to health and wellness.

Wellness of heart is finding a val-ance in our emotions. Life brings us both joy and pain, but sometimes the traumas of life are where we put more of our focus. Emotional wellness in-cludes healing through emotional pain and choosing to focus upon positive emotions such as happiness, peace, love, joy, or contentment.

You may recognize this as the four direc-tions of the “Medicine Wheel” or “Circle of Life”, a symbol used by many tribes to teach about the importance of balance in life. Some tribes do not use this symbol-ism but they may have traditional teach-ings about the importance of keeping alive the teachings and the memories of our ancestors.

Native Wellness Institute 297 SE Palmblad Drive

Gresham, OR 97080 www.nativewellness.com

Administration for Native Americans

www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/ana/