more convincing copywriting
TRANSCRIPT
How to write good.
Larry’s story
Every birth that takes place at Swedish — and there have been more than 200,000 of them — is aremarkable event. But the 1935 arrival of David Ishii is quite another story.
Sadly, his mother died in childbirth, and David’s father was ill equipped to take care of a newborn. So, Mr. Ishii made arrangements with Swedish to care for his new son while he took his six other children to Japan where relatives could look after them.
What was supposed to be a brief absence turned into 31/2 years. So David grew up at Swedish with a whole team of mothers — all dressed in starched white uniforms.
To this day, David remembers accompanying Swedish’s founder, Dr. Nils Johanson, around the halls of the hospital. And he faintly recalls a birthday party the nurses threw for him.
It was and is the Swedish way to do whatever it takes to make patients feel at home — even if it actually is your home.
Watch 100 stories about Swedish’s 100 years at www.swedish.org/100years
Thousands of babieshave been born at Swedish.
But only one went on tolive there for 3 1/2 years.
Come to the Swedish/Ballard ER housewarming.
See something new in Ballard that isn’t a condo.
> Tour the New ER Free finger casts for the kids
> Ask the Doctor Free medical advice without an appointment
> Take a Baby Bite of Ballard Bite-sized samples from Ballard restaurants
> Meet Kasey Keller Get an autograph from the Sounders’ goalkeeper
> Get a Free Soccer Scarf Swedish/Ballard scarves for the first 300 visitors
> Hear Caspar Babypants Fun songs for toddlers and their families
Swedish/BallardMarket & Tallman
Streets
Complete schedule at swedish.org/ballard
NOV.62010
11 a.m. to 3 p.m.
SATURDAY
Where we’re heading today.
1. Howdy 2. What’s wrong? 3. Break 4. The thinking part of writing 5. The writing part of writing 6. Lunch 7. Nuts and bolts 8. Break 9. Critique 10. Q&A + H&K
And you are?
Interview your neighbor to find out:
1. Their name
2. What kind of writing they do or plan to do 3. What they hope to get out of this
4. A bird story
What’s your problem?
Let’s go to the whiteboard.
Let’s take a break.
1. Howdy 2. What’s wrong? 3. Break 4. The thinking part of writing 5. The writing part of writing 6. Lunch 7. Nuts and bolts 8. Break 9. Critique 10. Q&A + H&K
The thinking part of writing
My man-crush
Meet my man crush.
Writing is thinking on paper.
Thinking
1. Get what you want to say down to one sentence.
(Audience) should (verb) (subject) because (single compelling reason).
(Audience) should (verb) (subject) because (single compelling reason).
(Marketers and creative people) should (verb) (subject) because
(single compelling reason).
(Marketers and creative people) should (take classes) (subject) because
(single compelling reason).
(Marketers and creative people) should (take classes) (at SVC) because
(single compelling reason).
(Marketers and creative people) should (take classes) (at SVC) because
(you’ll learn from top working pros).
(Audience) should (verb) (subject) because (single compelling reason).
(Cafe customers) should (verb) (subject) because (single compelling reason).
(Cafe customers) should (buy) (subject) because (single compelling reason).
(Cafe customers) should (buy) (a Verismo system) because (single compelling reason).
(Cafe customers) should (buy) (a Verismo system) because (you can have Starbucks lattes at home).
(Audience) should (verb) (subject) because (single compelling reason).
(Active people) should (verb) (subject) because (single compelling reason).
(Active people) should (wear) (subject) because (single compelling reason).
(Active people) should (wear) (Timberland Boots) because (single compelling reason).
(Active people) should (wear) (Timberland Boots) because (they will keep your feet totally dry).
Thinking
2. Write a content outline using the inverted pyramid
Thinking
Be logical when writing that content outline
Thinking
3. Think about how you’re going to persuade
Reciprocity
If you do what I’m asking, I’ll repay you with something of value.
Consistency
What I’m asking you to do is consistent with what I know you believe.
Authority
Experts and figures of power agree that you should do what I’m asking.
Consensus
Almost everyone in the same situation as you is doing what I’m asking.
Scarcity
You should do what I’m asking, because this opportunity will go away.
Liking
You like me, don’t you? Well, then please do what I’m asking.
Which principles are in play here?
"MEN WANTED FOR HAZARDOUS JOURNEY. SMALL WAGES, BITTER COLD, LONG MONTHS OF COMPLETE DARKNESS, CONSTANT DANGER, SAFE RETURN DOUBTFUL. HONOR AND RECOGNITION IN CASE OF SUCCESS."
Thinking
Let’s try it.
Thinking
First, write a strategy statement:
(Audience) should (verb) (subject) because (single compelling reason).
Thinking
(Our customers) should (know) (our company is going to be closed) because (we don’t want you to get stuck if you have a computer problem).
Thinking
Second, write an outline to frame the argument:
Thinking
Second, write an outline to frame the argument:
1. We’re going to be closed
2. Here’s how to reach us if you have a problem
3. If you have a problem during the holidays, we’ll reduce your bill by 20% (reciprocity!)
4. We appreciate your business (liking!)
Thinking
Third, you’ll need something to write about:
> An assignment you’re currently handling > An assignment you did but want a do-over > A rack brochure for The Museum of Glass
Museum of Glass Creative Brief
Deliverable: A rack brochure to be displayed in hotel lobbies and tourist attractions
Objective: Increase visits to the MOG by Seattle visitors by 10% over the next year
Audience: Visitors to Seattle with a cultural or art interests
Competition: Museums in Seattle: SAM, SAAM, Sculpture Garden, Chihuly Gardens, Frye, Henry, and other attractions that consume time and money
Strategy: Visitors to Seattle should go to the extra trouble to visit MOG because it’s considered one of the top art glass museums in the world.
Here’s a format to follow:
The writing part of writing
My man-crush
1. Clarity
Is the argument clear and logical?
2. Simplicity
Is the language down to earth? Does it avoid cliches and jargon?
WTF?
Simple language does not mean you’re simple-minded.
Warren Buffett Bill Gates, Jr. Ludacris
True independence – meaning the willingness to challenge a forceful CEO when something is wrong or foolish – is an enormously valuable trait in a director. It is also rare. The place to look for it is among high-grade people whose interests are in line with those of rank-and-file shareholders – and are in line in a very big way.
We’ve made that search at Berkshire. We now have eleven directors and each of them, combined with members of their families, owns more than $4 million of Berkshire stock. Moreover, all have held major stakes in Berkshire for many years. In the case of six of the eleven, family ownership amounts to at least hundreds of millions and dates back at least three decades. All eleven directors purchased their holdings in the market just as you did; we’ve never passed out options or restricted shares. Charlie and I love such honest-to-God ownership. After all, who ever washes a rental car?
In addition, director fees at Berkshire are nominal (as my son, Howard, periodically reminds me). Thus, the upside from Berkshire for all eleven is proportionately the same as the upside for any Berkshire shareholder. And it always will be.
The primary job of our directors is to select my successor, either upon my death or disability, or when I begin to lose my marbles. (David Ogilvy had it right when he said: “Develop your eccentricities when young. That way, when you get older, people won’t think you are going gaga.” Charlie’s family and mine feel that we overreacted to David’s advice.)
Beware of committing an act of literature.
3. Brevity
Can you cut the length by at least one-third without losing the meaning?
WTF?
DDB SEATTLE’S STRENGHTS
16. What would you say is your competitive position with respect to other advertising agencies based in the Northwest?
DDB Seattle is undoubtedly the most integrated agency in the Northwest. While many agencies will tell you they are integrated (through loosely tied strategic partnerships), DDB has best-in-class resources under one roof. But we’re not about integration just for integration’s sake. Having multiple resources in one location is not enough. It’s about being able to deploy the right resources at the right time to answer a client’s business need. And to be able to answer today’s needs, the best marketers look to partners with a breadth of services and the fundamental strategic know-how to utilize integrated ideas. We do this better than anyone else in the region.
In fact, when integration was just a glimmer most marketers’ eyes, we believed it was the future of our business—so we’ve purposefully built an organization with this in mind. Both our Direct and Issues & Advocacy groups were previously freestanding companies prior to being acquired by the DDB Seattle family. These additions allow us to be “media agnostic,” providing ideas that will drive our clients’ business fi rst and foremost, not our own.
Additionally, being part of the DDB network distinguishes us from other regional agencies. DDB is one of the largest and most celebrated advertising networks in the world, yet we are the smallest of our six domestic offi ces. This means we are able to offer our clients all the resources of a heavy-duty agency—media-buying clout, creative prominence, signifi cant proprietary tools and research, etc.—yet we remain start-up nimble.
17. How do you think most of your clients would describe your agency’s working style? We’re forward-leaning, fl exible, forthright, and client-driven.
• Forward-leaning. You will always fi nd us as the edge of our seats, proactively leading our clients’ business. • Flexible. We’re remarkably agile. • Forthright. We know our clients are extremely busy people. It’s our job to make their lives easier, and that can only happen with an honest, open partnership where we respect each other’s opinions. • Client-driven. If you don’t look good, we don’t look good.
18. What things do you feel you do especially well compared to other agencies?
As noted in question 16 , we believe we offer better integrated ideas compared to other agencies because we are the only agency in the area with such a wide breadth of in-house capabilities. But integration in and of itself is nothing without creativity. The marriage of the two is what we are most known for—transferable ideas that transcend any one media application.
19. Does your agency’s staff have specifi c experience that would be relevant to Swedish and the health care fi eld?
As noted, our experience in the health care fi eld runs deep. In addition to the robust relevant current client experience noted in question 15 , senior management (account supervisor level and up) at DDB has worked on the following health care accounts:
American Cancer Association American Heart Association American Lung Association American Medical Association Blue Cross/Blue Shield Children’s Hospital
TL;DR
55% spend less than 15 seconds on a page.
http://time.com/12933/what-you-think-you-know-about-the-web-is-wrong/
4. Humanity
Is your writing authentic and does it touch an emotion?
That’s it.
1. Clarity 2. Simplicity 3. Brevity 4. Humanity
Actually, that’s not it.
1. Clarity 2. Simplicity 3. Brevity 4. Humanity
It’s time for lunch.
1. Howdy 2. What’s wrong? 3. Break 4. The thinking part of writing 5. The writing part of writing 6. Lunch 7. Nuts and bolts 8. Break 9. Critique 10. Q&A + H&K
Actually, that’s not it.
1. Clarity 2. Simplicity 3. Brevity 4. Humanity
More stuff to pay attention to.
5. Focus on the audience
Don’t talk about yourself.
Talk about how you’re going to make the reader’s life better.
Answer WIFM.
6. Don’t overpromise.
Don’t brag.
Don’t dwell on how great your product is.
Be honest.
Be humble.
7. Write like you talk.
If your copy sounds stupid read aloud, that’s because it probably is stupid.
8. Write 3/4-circle headlines.
Huh? What?
Oh, I get it!
Of course, not everything needs a headline.
9. CV>SH, CH>SV
CV>SH
CH>SV
10. Stay on-brand
10. Stay on-brand
10. Stay on-brand
11. Proof it.
Use your spell-checker
Learn the rules of grammar
Buy an AP style guide
Get a proofreading pal or pro
11. Proof it.
Incorrect capitalization of job titles
Run-on sentences
Use of the passive voice
Misspellings and incorrect word choice
Incorrect punctuation
Sloppy syntax
11. Proof it.
11. Proof it.
12. Don’t say it the same old way.
Use surprising words.
Have a surprising idea.
Don’t sound like something we’ve seen a million times before.
From the Desk of Al Franken
Dear Washington State Democrat,
As much as I hate to interfere in the election of another state (other than Florida), I feel that I must write in order to urge you to support Mark Sidran for Washington State Attorney General.
I have known Mark since I was accidentally admitted to Harvard in the late 1960’s. Mark, who got in on merit and merit alone, was a classmate of mine, and has made something of himself.
As you may know, he has spent the last 28 years as a prosecutor, Seattle City Attorney, and as a practicing lawyer. Mark’s experience is what I like to call one of his three E’s. The other two E’s are integrity and energy. Wait. Scrap integrity. Although Mark has it in spades, it does not start with an “E.” I remember learning that at Harvard. But I digress. Let’s get back to his experience.
As City Attorney, Mark took on some of the most egregious corporate polluters in Puget Sound. I could name names, but I may be planning to run for public office in Minnesota someday, and why burn a bridge?
As Attorney General, Mark will continue his fight on behalf of citizens by doubling the size of the state’s consumer protection division. Tired of finding out your senior citizen mother has been ripped off by scam artists? Besides telling your mom to be more alert, you can take action by electing Mark.
Oh, now I remember the other two “e’s”. Endorsements and Electability. Besides me, Mark has been endorsed by every single Democratic county prosecutor in the state. These are people, who unlike me, actually know what the Attorney General does. Bill Gates Sr., former president of the Washington State Bar and father of someone who I’d like to get to know better when I get ready to run for office, has endorsed Mark as well. So have civil rights leaders like Norm and Constance Rice. Others include environmentalists, led by Washington Conservation Voters, the State’s largest environmental political group, and a long list of elected officials such as Governor Gary Locke, Congressman Norm Dicks, former Governor Booth Gardner, many civic leaders and leading lawyers. Governor Locke, I have learned, is the only Asian American state governor to make an endorsement in this race. That alone says it all.
From the Desk of Al Franken
I could go on and on with the endorsements. But frankly, no one cares about endorsements. Let’s move on to what really matters to Democrats – electability. Republicans don’t want Mark to be the Democratic nominee because they know he will be the most difficult candidate to beat in a statewide race that isn’t fixed by the use of paperless machines. This is the first time in 12 years that the Attorney General’s seat has been open and the Republican Party and their special interests are salivating at the chance of putting one of their lackeys in one of the most powerful jobs in your state. Mark is a common sense Democrat with a proven track record and the clear ability to win in November or whenever the Department of Homeland Security allows us to vote.
George W. Bush does not want Mark Sidran to be your next Attorney General. Neither does Deborah Senn, who did not go to college with me.
In conclusion, give your vote, and if possible, your check to Mark Sidran. And if you really want to see more of those endorsements, check out the partial list below or visit Mark’s website, www.MarkSidran4AG.com. As you can tell from the “4,” this is one hip campaign.
Sincerely,
Al Franken
All you need to know about writing copy.
1. Make your arguments clear (clarity) 2. Use simple words (simplicity) 3. Shorten by one-third (brevity) 4. Touch an emotion (humanity) 5. Focus on the audience 6. Don’t overpromise 7. Write like you talk 8. Write 3/4-circle headlines 9. CV>SH, CH>SV 10. Stay on brand 11. Proof it 12. Don’t say it the same old way
Let’s critique. 1. Does your strategy statement make sense?
2. Is your outline clear, logical and persuasive?
3. How’s your body copy for: > clarity of argument > simplicity of language > brevity > humanity
Museum of Glass Creative Brief
Deliverable: A rack brochure to be displayed in hotel lobbies and tourist attractions
Objective: Increase visits to the MOG by Seattle visitors by 10% over the next year
Audience: Visitors to Seattle with a cultural or art interests
Competition: Museums in Seattle: SAM, SAAM, Sculpture Garden, Chihuly Gardens, Frye, Henry, and other attractions that consume time and money
Strategy: Visitors to Seattle should go to the extra trouble to visit MOG because it’s considered one of the top art glass museums in the world.
Oh, here’s what Worker Bees did for MOG.
Think we could convince you to drive to Tacoma?
Some people cross an oceanto see a world-famous art museum.
Time for some Q&A.
1. Howdy 2. What’s wrong? 3. Break 4. The thinking part of writing 5. The writing part of writing 6. Lunch 7. Nuts and bolts 8. Break 9. Critique 10. Q&A + H&K
