march 20, 2015 (friday)

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Published by BS Central 515 2nd Ave. S • Glasgow, MT 59230 406-228-4558 • fax: 406-228-4578 [email protected] V o l. 4 , N o . 2 8 F rid a y , M a r c h 2 0 , 2 0 1 5 e Northeastern Arts Network Big Sky Concert Season ends in a bang on Monday, March 30th with Alex Zerbe – “e Zaniac”. Alex is a two-time Guinness World Record holder who was voted Seattle’s Funniest Prop Comic. He has appeared on prime-time television in three countries including the hit NBC TV shows, “America’s Got Talent!” and “Last Comic Standing”. Alex is a Hacky Sack World Champion, half of the award- winning comedy act, Brothers from Different Mothers, and, as if that wasn’t amazing enough, he was ranked Seattle’s 3rd Best Air Guitarist! Alex Zerbe’s comedy show is a dynamic array of amazing stunts, physical comedy and audience participation. A self-described “human cartoon”, his show isn’t only for the kids in the family. “I try to make my show like the movie Shrek, super entertaining for the kids but there’s a whole other level of comedy for teens and adults,” says Zerbe. Don’t miss the finale of the season! This concert will be held at the Glasgow High School Auditorium at 7:00 p.m. Tickets can be purchased at the door, $15/Adults, $13/Srs., and $5/Students. For additional concert information call Allison Nichols at 228-8255. e Big Sky Series is made possible in part by through grant support from Montana’s Cultural Trust, Montana Arts Council, National Endowment for the Arts, the Montana Performing Arts Consortium and the Western States Arts Federation (WESTAF). Laughter is the best medicine!

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March 20, 2015 (Friday)

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Page 1: March 20, 2015 (Friday)

Published by BS Central515 2nd Ave. S • Glasgow, MT 59230

406-228-4558 • fax: [email protected]

Vol. 4, No. 28 Friday, March 20, 2015 The Northeastern Arts Network Big Sky Concert Season ends in a bang on Monday, March 30th with Alex Zerbe – “The Zaniac”. Alex is a two-time Guinness World Record holder who was voted Seattle’s Funniest Prop Comic. He has appeared on prime-time television in three countries including the hit NBC TV shows, “America’s Got Talent!” and “Last Comic Standing”. Alex is a Hacky Sack World Champion, half of the award-winning comedy act, Brothers from Different Mothers, and, as if that wasn’t amazing enough, he was ranked Seattle’s 3rd Best Air Guitarist! Alex Zerbe’s comedy show is a dynamic array of amazing stunts, physical comedy and audience participation. A self-described “human cartoon”, his show isn’t only for the kids in the family. “I try to make my show like the movie Shrek, super entertaining for the kids but there’s a whole other level of comedy for teens and adults,” says Zerbe. Don’t miss the finale of the season! This concert will be held at the Glasgow High School Auditorium at 7:00 p.m. Tickets can be purchased at the door, $15/Adults, $13/Srs., and $5/Students. For additional concert information call Allison Nichols at 228-8255.

The Big Sky Series is made possible in part by through grant support from Montana’s Cultural Trust, Montana Arts Council, National Endowment for the Arts, the Montana Performing Arts Consortium and the Western States Arts Federation (WESTAF).

Laughter is the best medicine!

Page 2: March 20, 2015 (Friday)

The Scotties will be receiving certificate plaques. These will be presented to our school at the All-Sports Scotty Booster Club Awards Banquet scheduled for Tuesday, May 26th.

The MHSA/Army National Guard Academic All Team Award is given to the top varsity team that exhibit outstanding academic achievement during the school year’s second quarter of play for that activity to each MHSA schools’ classification (AA, A, B and C). MHSA member schools calculate their students’ accumulative average for the award. Winter selections are determined using only students who have participated in second quarter activities including Boys’ Basketball, Girls’ Basketball and Wrestling. The Scotty wrestling team and the Scotty boys’ basketball team have BOTH been awarded the Academic All-Team Winter Awards. It’s the first time in school history Glasgow has won this award.... and we do it TWICE this winter!CLASS B BOYS’ BASKETBALL Glasgow, 3.679 Grade Point Average

CLASS B WRESTLING Glasgow, 3.370 Grade Point Average

CLASS B GIRLS’ BASKETBALL Ronan, 3.797 Grade Point Average

Scotty wrestling, boys’ basketball earn Acedemic All-Team awards

4:10PM 7:15PM9:25PM

113 Min.

4:00PM 7:00PM9:20PM

Cast: Lily James, Cate Blanchett, Helena Bonham Carter, Stellan Skarsgård, Derek Jacobi. Kenneth Branagh directs Disney’s 2015, live-action take on the classic fairy tale Cinderella, which stars Lily James as the put-upon young women forced to endure a life of labor at the hands of her stepmother (Cate Blanchett) after her father dies unexpectedly. Forced to do every menial chore imaginable, Ella maintains her good spirits and eventually strikes up a friendship with a stranger in the woods who turns out to be the prince. When the royal court holds a gala ball, Cinderella wants nothing more to attend, and although her stepmother won’t allow it, she gets help from a surprising source

PG

PG

DAILY CINEMAS: 4:00 & 4:10 PM - $6.00/PERSON

228-9239 www.polsontheatres.com

MARCH 20 - 26SHOWINGS

FREE POPCORN TUESDAY! FREE POPCORN WITH EVERY PAID ADMISSION

119 Min.

Cast: Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Miles Teller, Jai Courtney, Ansel Elgort. THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT raises the stakes for Tris as she searches for allies and answers in the ruins of a futuristic Chicago. Tris (Woodley) and Four (James) are now fugitives on the run, hunted by Jeanine (Winslet), the leader of the power-hungry Erudite elite. Racing against time, they must find out what Tris’s family sacrificed their lives to protect, and why the Erudite leaders will do anything to stop them. Haunted by her past choices but desperate to protect the ones she loves, Tris, with Four at her side, faces one impossible challenge after another as they unlock the truth about the past and ultimately the future of their world.

For mild thematic elements

Intense Violence and Action Throughout, Some Sensuality, Thematic Elements and Brief Language

It’s right around the corner. The 50th Annual Lustre Schmeckfest will be held on Friday, March 27th at the Lustre Christian High School from 5:00-7:00 p.m. The Schmeckfest is the German Festival of Tasting with plenty of delicious food, a silent auction, bake sale, and entertainment. With this being the 50th anniversary they will also be selling souvenir t-shirts & a cookbook. The cost is $20 for adults, $10 for kids kindergarten through 8th grade, and pre-school and under dine for free. You can purchase tickets at Baker’s Jewelry in Glasgow, Gysler Ace Hardware in Wolf Point and the Lustre Christian High School. For more information on this event visit www.lustrechristian.org

Did someone say ‘Schmeckfest’?Celebrating 50 years of delicious

Page 3: March 20, 2015 (Friday)

Political Buzz...

BUZZIFIEDS

Oh yeah, March

Madness!

ROBERT COMBS ESTATE SHOP SALE: Assorted tools, equipment, tables. Saturday, Mar. 21, 9am-12noon. TURN SOUTH ON 13TH STREET TO BROWN SHOP ON RIGHT

BUZZBABY SHOWER for Diane Jensen & Kallen Irene at Sr. Citizen Center. Friday, March 20 from 7pm - 8:30pm. ALL IS WELCOME TO COME!

BUZZVALLEY VIEW POSITION OPENINGS: Activities Aide, Part time- Full time Housekeeper, Full time Maintenance Assistant, Full time C N A, Bath Aide. BENEFITS Health Insurance, Life Insurance, Vac/Sick/Holiday, Vision, Retirement Plan. Positions are open until filled. Job applications and complete job descriptions can be picked up at Valley View Home or the Glasgow Job Service. FOR ANY QUESTIONS PLEASE CALL ERIN AT 406-228-2461.

BUZZEZZIE’S MIDTOWN is looking for a full-time employee. Starting wage is $9.00/hr with some benefits after a 90 day probationary period. Most shifts will be four 10 hour shifts, some night shifts (1-11pm Sun-Thurs or 2-12pm Fri & Sat) and some day shifts (9am - 7pm). Days and hours of shifts will vary week to week. APPLICATIONS MAY BE PICKED UP AT EZZIE’S MIDTOWN

BUZZPOSITION ANNOUNCEMENT: Customer Service Representative – Radiology Department. Full-time; Monday - Friday. High School Diploma or GED required. Previous clerical, medical terminology and computer experience preferred. Qualified applicant will be responsible for patient check in, scheduling appointments and data entry of all patient information. Other duties will include answering telephones, directing to appropriate personnel and assisting in other clerical duties as assigned. FMDH IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY/AFFIRMATIVE ACTION EMPLOYER. PLEASE CONTACT THE HR DEPARTMENT AT (406) 228.3638 FOR MORE INFORMATION

BUZZHELP WANTED: Morning line cook, waiter/waitress, bussers. PICK UP APPLICATION AT COTTONWOOD

BUZZDOWNTOWN APT FOR RENT: 1 bedroom, 1 bath available Apr. 1. $400/mo. + utilities. On site laundry; No smoking; No pets; Damage deposit and references required. SECOND AVENUE PROPERTIES, LLC 263-4893

BUZZFOR RENT: 2 bedroom, 1 bath duplex, small fenced yard, washer/dryer hookups, central A/C and heat. No pets, No smoking. $650/month + utilities. CALL 263-0126

BUZZSTORE FRONT SPACE AVAILABLE FOR LEASE, 228-2800

Tonight: A 30 percent chance of rain after midnight. Mostly cloudy, with a low around 31. East wind 9 to 17 mph, with gusts as high as 24 mph.Saturday: A 20 percent chance of rain before noon. Mostly cloudy, with a high near 55. East southeast wind 14 to 16 mph, with gusts as high as 23 mph.Saturday Night: Rain likely. Cloudy, with a low around 31. East wind 11 to 17 mph, with gusts as high as 24 mph. Chance of precipitation is 60%.Sunday: A 30 percent chance of rain, mainly before noon. Mostly sunny, with a high near 53. East southeast wind 6 to 11 mph becoming west in the afternoon.Sunday Night: Mostly cloudy, with a low around 23. North northeast wind 5 to 7 mph.Monday: A slight chance of freezing rain before noon, then a slight chance of rain. Mostly sunny, with a high near 48. East northeast wind 8 to 11 mph. Chance of precipitation is 20%.Monday Night: Rain and freezing rain likely, possibly mixed with sleet. Mostly cloudy, with a low around 29.Tuesday: Rain and snow likely. Mostly cloudy, with a high near 44.Tuesday Night: A slight chance of rain and snow showers. Mostly cloudy, with a low around 25.Wednesday: A slight chance of rain and snow showers. Partly sunny, with a high near 42.Wednesday Night: Mostly cloudy, with a low around 23.Thursday: Partly sunny, with a high near 47.

Reduced $189,000

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detached garage with storage shed. ASKING $299,500

GREAT VIEWS IN FORT PECK!

Page 4: March 20, 2015 (Friday)

Welcome to the 17th Annual Jeff Jurgens Memorial Youth Basketball TournamentGrades 4 10 (Local Rosters)

53999Hwy 2 W

Call 228-2715 or 263-1249Batteries • Towing • Repair

GLENN’S AUTO REPAIR &

WRECKER SERVICE

4th Grade Girls at Glasgow High School

Glasgow Hoop StarsCoach Heather HartsockRachelle Glaser .....................9Alexys Mann ..........................10Keeli Harris ............................12Davyn Myrick .........................23Summer Garfield ...................24Hannah Toavs ........................32Aubre Hartsock ......................40Meranda Bechel ....................52

Milk River RattlersCoach Sherri IdlerCienna Strommen ..................10Codi Donniaquo .....................12Kora Labrie ............................14Ashton Smith .........................20Deion Lefdahl ........................22Mattea McColly ......................30Kendra Commings .................34

Whitewater Sleeping BuffalosCoach Charlene WassonTeagan Erickson ....................10Kendell Scheffelmear ............12Kodi Boone ............................14Paige Wasson .......................20Ava Hanley ............................22Abby Yeska ............................32

4th Grade Boys at Glasgow High School

Glasgow Hot ShotsCoach Ryan FastEvan Pankratz .......................7Keigan Engram ......................10Aiden Hoerster .......................35Jordan Plummer ....................3Ben Compel ...........................23Chase Tarum .........................6Mo Fast ..................................17Riley Smith ............................1Beau Malnaa .........................2

Glasgow 3rd GradersCoach Jon KolstadJack KolstadVon MillerEli FeeselCarter HoersterJordan CoollKJ IngramToren Richards

5th Grade Girls at Glasgow High School

Glasgow ScottiesCoach Jon KolstadJosie KolstadAbby EngstromMcKinna StrommenIris McKeenAbrianna NielsonTyan GrahamDaley Aune

Milk River RattlersCoach Amber StrommenZandora Longtree ..................14Montaya Idler .........................20Mandy Furhman ....................22Hannah Hanley ......................24Skylie Lefdahl ........................30Jaycee Erickson ....................32

Frazer RebelsCoach Corrina Guardipee-HallSierha EatonMaiyalin JacksonHaidyn Raining BirdKaylandra St MarksBaily BucklesJasmyn Windy BoyAllisa FolletBrianna HammonHallie Kelsey

5th Grade Boys at Glasgow High School

Glasgow ScottiesCoach Matt MillerRance Rhoads .......................5Blake Lloyd ............................12Mitchel Winchester ................15Bergan Miller .........................24Mark Eliason ..........................25Joey Nixdorf ...........................31Teddy Tryan ...........................33Dylan Linder ..........................42

FrazerCoach Joseph Raining BirdHunter Raining BirdBlue FettigKeein AckermanRyker AckermanJohn HotomaniJohnathan JacksonAllen TurntoesToren Richards

6th Grade Girls at East Side School

Glasgow Hoop StarsCoach Heather HartsockRachelle Glaser .....................9Alexys Mann ..........................10Keeli Harris ............................12Davyn Myrick .........................23Summer Garfield ...................24Hannah Toavs ........................32Aubre Hartsock ......................40Meranda Bechel ....................52

Milk River RattlersCoach Lisa BeusKia Wasson ...........................12Kaitlin McColly .......................24Heidi Anderson ......................30Jaydyn Erickson ....................34Danika Soper .........................40Kelsee Cummings .................42

Frazer RebelsCoach Corrina Guardipee-HallSierha EatonMaiyalin JacksonHaidyn Raining BirdKaylandra St MarksBaily BucklesJasmyn Windy BoyAllisa FolletBrianna HammonHallie Kelsey

6th Grade Boys at East Side School

Glasgow ScottiesCoach Charlene BolandWill KnierimVinnie ChappellTrevor KlindDawson BolandKyle StahlAden Zoanni

Hinsdale RaidersCoach Levi CapdevilleWalker AlbusAiden AlbusWes LeatherberryJon TaylorJack BooneJeremy Long TreeTrey JohnsonLoden IdlerBeau Simonson

7th Grade Girls at St. Raphael’s

Glasgow ScottiesCoach Curt RossKeely Fossum ........................15Aliya Baillargeon ....................11Ayla Stone .............................4Taylor Pederson .....................14Laura Ross ............................21Lylie Foster ............................13Jaci Travasos .........................24

Nashua PurpleCoach Gregg FromdahlDevin Fromdahl .....................5Anika Peters ..........................15Ali Cunningham .....................23Brennan Peters ......................31Mattea Piersak .......................41Lauren Padden ......................43Kaydin Sibley .........................51

Frazer RebelsCoach Corrina Guardipee-HallSierha EatonMaiyalin JacksonHaidyn Raining BirdKaylandra St MarksBaily BucklesJasmyn Windy BoyAllisa FolletBrianna HammonHallie Kelsey

7th Grade Boys at St. Raphael’s

Glasgow Scotty 7Coach Gary WagemanTim Wageman .......................42Saul Hansen ..........................2Kobe Sibley ...........................3Trevor Shipp ..........................5Alec Boland ...........................23Wilson Overby .......................11Cody Cronmiller .....................7Kristian Price .........................12Dexter Monson

Page 5: March 20, 2015 (Friday)

FP1802NORTHEAST MONTANA’S FORD HEADQUARTERSCall Jerry, Josh or Norm • (406) 228-2141 • 866-528-2141 • Check us out on the web for more great deals www.hilineford.net

Quality at a Fair Price

F-150STRONG NEW VEHICLE SALES have left us with a HUGE inventory of Used

They need to go

Boneless Beef Tri-TipSTEAKS OR ROAST..............$6.99/lb.PorkBABY BACK RIBS................ $3.49/lb.Boneless BeefTOP SIRLOIN STEAKS..........$5.99/lb.Nautilus 10 oz.Nautilus 10 oz.SHRIMP RINGS.................. $6.99 ea.Nautilus 2 lb. BagTILAPIA FILLETS................. $7.99 ea.Sea Cuisine 8.5 - 10 oz. Sel. Var. FISH..................................$3.99 ea.

MARCH 18 - 24

Custom Carpentry • Roofing Repairs • Windows • Doors • Kitchens • BathsCall Shawn Beard • 230-1025

Email: [email protected] • Licensed & insured • Free Estimates

High School Girls at Civic Center

Glasgow HiLine HoopstersCoach Dave NixdorfKiauna Barstad ......................10Khloe Krumwiede ..................1Teagan Fossum .....................22Leinie Hughes ........................3Lexi Nixdorf ............................2Jasmine Shaw .......................4Jordan Kulczyk ......................5Mayson Hudyma ....................6Alexa Welchlin .......................7

Saco/Whitewater/HinsdaleCoach Darin CummingsKayleigh Cummings ...............42Bailey Funk ............................34Jada Sudbruck .......................4Mickayla Johnson ..................14Casity Boucher ......................20

High School Boys at Civic Center

Glasgow ScottiesCoach Jason SauerCody Ross .............................21Brayden Ross ........................32Tyler Hersom .........................20Bryce Legare .........................3Trent Herbert .........................23Kasey Seyfert ........................1Logan McColly .......................15

Hinsdale RaidersCoach Luke JohnsonAustin LeatherberryWrangler JonesLogan McCollyChristian MengeChris DepuydtJosh SalvesonRyder JonesCody Scheffelmear

8th Grade Girls at Evangelical Church

except two at St. Raphael’s Saturday morning

Milk River RattlersCoach Kraig NordahlHalle Beil .............................. 24Elise Strommen .................... 32Hannah Anderson ................. 34Chaykota Christensen .......... 40Sarah Boucher ...................... 42Bella Lawless ........................ 44

8th Grade Boys at Evangelical Church

and Civic CenterGlasgow Northern Hinsdale Health ClinicCoach Michael MyrickBlaine MyrickCade MyrickKaden FossumEllis McKeenBrett GlaserJohn McCollyTaylor Johnson

Nashua East Fork ConstructionCoach Anthony BengocheaGavin AdkinsGunner GreenCassidy GreenChase GuttenbergDaniel ParpartMack WindchesterDylan SannerSawyer SibleyEthan VisteEli ZeluffCalvin Bengochea

High School BoysFrazer Eastern All StarsCoach Mike ColeKorbin ColeNathaniel ClarkSaunder St MarksDaulton HolecekTraycer WilsonPat HardyPreston BaldryMadirius ScottXander Little ThunderAaron AckermanVergil McCormick

Frazer BearcubsCoach Marlin JacksonJayson JacksonBrayden JacksonTanner LienThane HelgesonTrace SimonsonChance MainMarcus Jackson

Welcome tournament players, coaches, parents and fans. Thanks to your support, the Jeff Jurgens Memorial Youth Basketball Tournament has exploded from a modest beginning of 21 teams 15 years ago to a record 84 teams and 760 participants in 2004. Unsportsmanlike behavior is not acceptable at this event. This includes taunting or berating opposing players, officials or bench personnel. Tournament officials will deal with any such behavior swiftly, and penalties may include technical fouls, ejection, removal from the premises or game forfeiture. Remember that this is for the kids, and we all need to set a positive example of good sportsmanship.

Each game will have two 18-minute halves, with a running clock. Clock will stop for free throws and time-outs only. The clock will stop during the last two minutes of the game as in regulation play unless the point spread is 20 points or greater.

Page 6: March 20, 2015 (Friday)

This Free health talk is open to the public

6:00-7:15 pm Tues., Mar. 24that the Cottonwood Inn

Convention Center

Knights of Columbus

FFidddFiiiFFd

Eat in or Take outAdults - $14

Kids 12 & under - $6Under 3 eat free!

412 3rd Ave. N • Glasgow

FRIDAY, Mar. 20at

St. Raphael’s Parish5:00-6:30pm

SPECIALS:

A GREAT PLACE TOHANG OUT!

THE HANGAR Hwy 2 East228-8280

We Have Soft-Serve Ice Cream!Have Your Parties Here

BOOK NOW!

FRIDAYSoup: CLAM CHOWDER Lunch: SHRIMP BURGER

Dinner: WALLEYE

MONDAY

Soup: COOK’S CHOICELunch: CHICKEN PHILLY

Dinner: HAMBURGER STEAK

SUNDAY

Soup: HAM & BEANLunch: BACON

CHEESEBURGERDinner: 2 pc PORK CHOP

SATURDAYSoup: COOK’S CHOICE

Lunch: REUBENDinner: 8oz SIRLOIN

GLASGOWSCHOOL MENU

BreakfastPancake Wrap • Tri Tater

Pears • Milk Lunch

Beef Chalupas w/ Lett., Chz & Salsa • Choc. Brownie • CornPineapple • Choice of Fruit • Milk

MONDAY

Mon-Fri • 9am ~ 5:30pmSaturday • 9am ~ 4pm

Luck of the DrawCard Game

THIS WEEK ONLYSAVE 20%-50%

on NEW Spring Fashions & ALL Jeans!Draw for your discount at the time of purchase.

Page 7: March 20, 2015 (Friday)

ST. MARIE TOPICS- I have the right to respond, to utilize “Freedom of the Press.” When investors are organizing to change the direction of activity in St. Marie, I’m interested. When ALL of these large investors are suing each other, not paying their taxes and other bills, I’m interested. When some of what they are doing is NOT LEGAL, I’m interested. When they DO NOT produce legal documents or Court Orders to back up their idle talk and wishful writings, I’m interested. HOT AIR? ...A woman called into the BUZZ complaining that I’m full of hot air and write too lengthy. In my article of last Friday, I merely summarized the lengthy “Notice to All” that the group of investors put out! Hot Air? ...madam do you know of what you speak? I have legal documents, contracts, Court Orders, and the NVCCA books! What do you or your friends have to back up your views? NOW WHAT? I have no idea by what power Dan Dale was made Chairman of the Board of NVCCA, nor do I know how this group proposes to elect Directors to NVCCA. Were all legal owners and mortgage holders notified of the previous meetings and appointment, as well as future voting and appointments? Is it legal? LEGAL TITLES? ...With all that being said, is it really possible to attain “Clear and Legal Titles” to St. Marie condos without lawyers and judges involvement? ASSISTANCE- At this time I wish to offer my time and efforts in cleaning up NVCCA and getting it off the ground. Along with Dan Dale, we two straight gentlemen with integrity and good character can be trusted to DO what’s Right and what’s Legal. I wish to be voted to the NVCCA Board of Directors. Who’s going to notify by mail ALL the legal owners of NVCCA property? ~ Nick Chiechi ~ Due Diligent Concerned Resident* comments, corrections, opinions welcomed*

Letter to the BuzzDocuments to back up this ‘hot air’

Senior Citizen Center

Oven Baked Fried Chicken

Call for reservation by 10 AM 228-9500

MONDAY

The Glasgow Cal Ripken League would like to say a big “Thank You”

to the Scotty Softball Team for putting up the sponsor signs on the fence and helping us get

ready for another super season. Thanks, Scotties!

Thank You

Dr. Chip Halverson, Naturopathic Physician of Selah Natural Medicine, will be offering another free presentation on Tuesday evening, March 24th from 6:00-7:15 at the Cottonwood Inn in Glasgow. Dr. Chip gave a talk in November on “Optimal Wellness: How to regain and retain your health” and in December did a health talk on “Optimal Wellness: Managing stress, anxiety and depression”. His next talk in the series will focus on “Optimal Wellness: Managing Inflammation, Pain and Chronic Illness”. Turnouts for the previous talks were great with 90 and 70 people accordingly. The talk is geared to all ages and not a repeat of previous talks, though some of the Naturopathic Medicine approach and philosophy will resonate with this talk as well. “I’m really excited my town has become so interested in natural medicine and sincerely enjoy giving back to the community that helped raise me,” says Dr. Chip. “And I’m excited to bring my 17 year old son with me on this trip.”

Dr. Chip to make a house call

Page 8: March 20, 2015 (Friday)

Little Johnny walks into his classroom wearing a single glove. His teacher asks him what he’s doing. “Well, ma’am,” says Johnny, “I was watching the weather program on TV and it said it was going to be sunny, but on the other hand it could get quite cold.”

A duck was about to cross the road, and a chicken came running up to him saying, “Don’t do it, man! You’ll never hear the end of it!”

Friday Funnies by Sugar

It was Paddy and Seamus giving the motorcycle a ride on a brisk autumn day. After a wee bit, Paddy who was sitt’n behind Seamus on the bike began to holler ...”Seamus ... Seamus ... the wind is cutt’n me chest out!” “Well, Paddy my lad,” said Seamus, “why don’t you take your jacket off and turn it from front to back ... that’ll block the wind for you.” So Paddy took Seamus’s advice and turned his jacket from front to back and got back on the bike and the two of them were off down the road again. After a bit, Seamus turned to talk to Paddy and was horrified to see that Paddy was not there. Seamus immediately turned the bike around and retraced their route, when after a short time he came to a turn in the road and saw a bunch of farmers standing around Paddy who was sitting on the ground. “T’anks be to heaven, is he alright?” Seamus hailed to the farmers. “Well, he was alright when we found him here,” said one of the farmers, “but since we turned his head from back to front..... he hasn’t said a word since!”

Little Ole was sitting at the kitchen table doing his school homework. He had a puzzled look on his face at he considered the assignment that was due: writing an essay about his origin. He turned to question his mother. “Mama, vere did Grandma come from?” he asked. “Da stork brought her,” answered mama Lena. “And vere did yew come from?” asked Little Ole. “Da stork brought me,” his mother answered. “And vere did I come from?” Little Ole inquired. “Vell, son, da stork brought yew, tew,” mama Lena replied. With a scowl on his face, Little Ole picked up his pencil, turned to his school tablet, and began writing his essay: “Dere have been no natural births in our family for tree yenerations.”

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