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Managing Yourself Linda Denny

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Managing Yourself

Linda Denny

www.examofficers.org.uk

Introduction

• Two topics

• Managing your time to be more personally effective

• Managing your communication so that you feel confident to change things

www.examofficers.org.uk

Setting the Scene

• I never get thanked when it all goes smoothly only when something goes wrong. I am not really valued.

• Teachers and Heads use their authoritarian style with me and I’m an adult not a student! This does not make for easy conversations.

• Each year it seems to get more complex, we are expected to do more. Where do I find more time?

• I don’t know if we have any ex-teachers in the room? But you may feel ‘Teaching staff do not treat you as an equal’. You are now ‘support staff’, even though you may have once been a Teacher! It makes you feel like a second class citizen.

www.examofficers.org.uk

Managing your time to be more personally effective

1. How to set priorities. Is everything important?

2. Overcoming procrastination. How to get started and when to ask for help.

3. How to feel resourceful when under pressure when there’s that sense of I cannot do any more and... lastly....

4. Our focus on getting things wrong because that is what others at school or college notice. Instead we will look at ‘Success tracking’

www.examofficers.org.uk

1. Setting priorities. How do we know what to spend our time on?

• Can we do more? Are there more hours in the day? Assuming we don’t want to increase our working day further then we must work differently. How do we do this? Be clear about the absolute priorities, what are ‘the must haves’, ‘should haves’ and ‘nice to haves’

• Big rocks example

• Urgent versus Important Handout

• Know what your distractions are and manage these e.g. answering every email as it comes in.

• Know your best time of day to do important thinking and your lowest point of the day to do routine tasks.

www.examofficers.org.uk

2. Overcoming procrastination. Why do we put things off repeatedly?

• Often we put things off because we don’t know how to do them or they don’t play to our strengths. Getting started often helps with procrastination. Once we have taken the first steps, we can then seek feedback to check if we are going along the right lines. If there are areas we feel unsure about the trick is to ask for help...they will be someone else’s strengths.

• Creative silence helps with gaining perspective, solving problems and seeing connections.

www.examofficers.org.uk

3. Feeling resourceful. What to do when it’s all too much?

• Feeling resourceful is the mindset to have when you are feeling overwhelmed..

• Using the Plumbing system handout to prepare for stressful times. Who and what are your radiators and drains? Take this away and have a go at completing it.

• Recognise how your own strengths can be upturned when you are stressed. E.g. if you are highly organised then during stress you can become obsessively organised and expect everyone around you to be like this which can cause friction and affect relationships.

• Talk to colleagues, friends, a partner if you are feeling overwhelmed. A problem shared is a problem halved.

www.examofficers.org.uk

4. Success tracking. Shouldn’t I focus on what’s gone wrong?

• Success tracking is about keeping a daily diary of what has gone well rather than our usual focus of what has gone wrong. After a week, then two weeks, then a month of seeing progress and good things happening, it helps build a positive mindset and confidence that you are making progress. 

• Plus start mentioning some of the examples of success in your conversation at work. This is not about blowing your trumpet but doing yourself justice and building your reputation. Move the focus from what’s gone wrong to what’s gone right.

www.examofficers.org.uk

Managing your communication to feel confident to change things

• We can feel like ‘second class citizens’ when we are talking to ‘’more senior and professional staff at schools and colleges’’. Especially if they are adopting their authoritarian style with you. If this is you, then that can be stressful. Instead we want you to feel valued and recognised for your contribution. We want you to know that others feel like this too! You are not alone. However there are things you can do as an Examination Officer.

• Aim is to assist you in adapting your communication skills to feel more assertive, confident and proactive.

www.examofficers.org.uk

Confident Communication

• Turning your ideas for change into good conversations

• Using gender differences to help you

• Utilising body language to be assertive

• Visualising success

www.examofficers.org.uk

1. Turning your ideas for change into good conversations

• If and when you come up with ideas for change how do you convince senior teaching staff to listen?

• Do your thinking, come up with options with pros and cons and arrange a meeting to discuss. Present your ideas with options and identify any benefits for them. Ask for their opinions and listen.

www.examofficers.org.uk

2. Using gender differences to help you

• So do gender differences matter and how do you manage them at work? Would it be helpful to know how the mind of a male Head-teacher works? Or a female one?

• As you know male and female brains are different. We think and process information differently.

www.examofficers.org.uk

Females

• Are more effective at lying to males face to face because male brains are less skilled at spotting incongruencies between verbal and non verbal signals. 

• Use sensitivity in differentiating tone changes enabling them to hear emotional changes and so read between the lines.

•  • Pick up the visual, vocal and body language signals e.g. who is talking

to who and the subtleties behind this.

www.examofficers.org.uk

Females

• Have two speech centres in their brain, enabling them to be good conversationalists! (Men have one) 

• Their brain is configured for multi-tasking because of the larger number of connections between the right and left. 

• Have less function to store and so problems go round and round in their head. Hence the need to talk about them!

www.examofficers.org.uk

Males

•  Are not so equipped to hear or see details. • Have a specific brain location for sensing direction and so find

navigation and orientation easy. Men have better spatial skills.  • Own a more compartmentalised brain and prefer to focus on one thing

at a time. At the end of a day full of problems, they can effectively file and store them all away.

www.examofficers.org.uk

Tips to Manage differences at work

• Utilise female strength at an event to sense what is going on and what the undercurrents are.

• Tap into women’s intuition and detect subtle mood and attitude changes in your team and peers.

www.examofficers.org.uk

Tips to Manage differences at work

• Men have problem-solving minds and often feel with their own problems no need to share. With big problems not talking can lead to stress. Encourage male colleagues to talk about what is going on. Interestingly women are happy to share their problems but don’t necessarily want advice but just to be listened to.

• To encourage male listening and success at meetings, use an agenda and advance notice. This appeals to their logic, they understand why you are meeting and how they can help solve issues.

www.examofficers.org.uk

3. Utilising body language to be assertive

• When you want to have a conversation and influence a senior staff member and be listened to body language can help you. Which of these 3 styles is more you?

• Circles of Energy model

• Dominant body language . More likely to posture with the chest and jut out the chin. Tends to shout or speak loudly. Talks more than listens. Appears arrogant. Energy flowing out. 

www.examofficers.org.uk

Utilising body language to be assertive

• Passive body language. Stands with a more curved head and spine, looking down to the floor. Breathing less able to support voice projection. Appear to lack confidence. Energy flowing inwards 

• Assertive body language. Stands tall, breathes well, projects voice clearly without invading someone’s personal space. Listens as well as talks. Has good eye contact, smiles. Appears confident. Energy flowing in and out in balance.

www.examofficers.org.uk

4. Visualising success for a confident conversation

• So how do you prepare for a potentially stressful conversation or meeting? Here’s how - Remember occasions in your past when you felt confident and successful. Perhaps when you had a really good meeting at work.

• Use this as your template, your visualisation for the future. Make this a big, bright image and similarly make memories of difficult conversations small, distant and grey.

• In the time leading up to an important conversation or meeting keep remembering the template, use the visualisation to help mentally prepare you. This really works. Try it!

Managing Yourself

Linda Denny