Manage By Mind, Lead By Heart

Prepared By: Usman Ahmad, Associate Project Manager

PMO Enablement Session

You do not lead by hitting people over the head - that's assault, not leadership

-Dwight D. Eisenhower (US President 1953-1961)

Agenda

• Introduction

• Heart-Brain Connection

• Happiness - Its all in the Hormones

• Treat People Like Cows

• Ritual of Human Relations – The Practices

• Wisdom in a Nutshell

Introduction

Background

• Management skills are crucial for our fast paced domain.

• Operational procedures, reporting, strategic planning are

few of the vital facets of our work.

• But, ultimately we lead people and they execute our

strategic plans. Their feelings are important.

• Every one is leader in some capacity either at workplace

or family, the way we treat people defines our relation.

The Sweet Spot

• Some say that their hearts are for friends/family and

their brains, guts are for work.

• Being Nice to people is dangerous. Is it?

• Based on recent survey by HBR, more workers would

trust a total stranger more than their own boss.

• Actually, we keep heart out of the game and leave

role of emotions behind.

• People are humans. Not infallible icons !

Heart-Brain

Connection

From: Institute of HearthMath – Connecting Hearts and Minds

Communication Paradigm

• It is a common understanding that the heart is

constantly responding to “orders” sent by

the brain in the form of neural signals.

• However, it is not as commonly known that the

heart actually sends far more signals to the brain.

• Heart signals have a significant effect on brain

function, influencing emotional processing as well

as higher cognitive faculties like memory and

problem-solving.

Role of Emotions

• Negative: During stress and negative emotions,

heart rhythm is disordered, corresponding neural

signals traveling from the heart to the brain effect

higher cognitive functions.

• Positive: In contrast, the more ordered and

stable pattern of the heart’s input to the brain

during positive emotional states has the opposite

effect which facilitates cognitive function.

Role of Emotions

Happiness Its all in

the Hormones

From: HBR – The Neurochemistry of Positive Conversations

The Science of Happiness

• Why do negative comments and conversations stick with us so much

longer than positive ones?

• Chemistry plays a big role in this phenomenon.

• Cortisol – The Stress Hormone: It is released in response to fear

or stress as part of our primal ‘fight or flight’ response.

• Oxytocin – The feel Good Hormone: Positive comments and

conversations produce a chemical reaction too.

• Oxytocin metabolizes more quickly than cortisol, so its effects are

less dramatic and long-lasting.

Hormones and Leadership?

Treat People

like Cows

From: The Enablers – HR Development Company

Cows give Milk?

• They don’t just “give”, you have to fight for every drop.

• The way you treat a cow has a direct effect on quality and quantity of milk (productivity).

Treat People like Cows

Ritual of Human

Relations

From Book: Leadership Wisdom from the Monk who sold his Ferrari

Robin Sharma

Why it is a Ritual?

• This is a ritual of human relations and communication competency.

• It is part of our everyday life; for interacting people like friends,

neighbors, family and colleagues.

• Islam also has enormous focus on it.

• Allah says that we should be the first and take initiative to do good

to others, but, if others have been kind to us, in the first place, we

have no choice, but to return the favor.

Practices

• Awareness precedes change.

• To improve, we must know precisely what to improve.

• Five practices we will discuss are integral leadership skills

and can help to find our weaknesses:

1. Effective Listening

2. Being Compassionate

3. Truth Telling

4. Promise Keeping

5. Empathy

Effective Listening

One of the greatest gifts you can ever give to someone is giving

them 100% of your attention

- Robin Sharma

Effective Listening

• Leaders capture the heart of their people by deeply

listening to them.

• One of human hunger is the hunger to feel

understood.

• You must INVEST yourself in the person

communicating.

• Avoid habits like frequently interrupting others,

finishing other people’s sentences for them.

• Stop listening with an intent to respond, listen with an

intent to understand.

Being Compassionate

True compassion means not only feeling another's pain but also being moved to help relieve it.

- Daniel Goleman

Being Compassionate

• Leaders constantly show kindness to their team.

• Every person on planet has desire to be treated well.

• Being Compassionate is all about “letting your

humanity shine at work”.

• Treat people with minor acts of caring:

– Courtesy

– Consideration

– Respect

Truth Telling

When in doubt, tell the TRUTH

- Mark Twain

Truth Telling

• Leaders are open and honest to their people.

• They consider it a priority to keep their people

informed.

• Long-term success of teamwork depends on

information sharing and truth-telling, it make

them feel that they are important.

• Fully informed people would soon understand the

rationale for your decisions and have greater

confidence.

Promise Keeping

Not Keeping a promise is the same as lying

!

- Eric Jerome Dickey

Promise Keeping

• Every promise we break, even small or

inconsequential, steadily affects the relation.

• We don’t return a phone call or not attend the

meeting we promised to, we erode trust.

• We don’t honor a commitment, we chip away the

bond with the people we are privileged to lead.

• Every time you avoid doing right, you fuel the habit

of doing wrong.

Empathy

Human nature is complex. Even if we have inclinations toward

violence, we also have inclination to empathy, to cooperation,

to self-control.

- Steven

Pinker

Empathy

• Empathy is the ability to identify and understand

another's situation, feelings and motives.

• It is the ability to imagine yourself in someone else's

position, to imagine what they are feeling.

• It allows us to create bonds of trust and helps us

understand how or why others are reacting to situations.

• Empathy shouldn’t be selective, it should be a daily

habit.

Wisdom in a Nutshell

"When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing

with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.

- Dale Carnegie (American writer and lecturer)

Thank You !