An @FlyoverJoel Presentation

@LIFECOACHERS - Seven Steps to Louder Living

Seven Key Skills Provided by @LIFECOACHERS

Agenda

Relationship Management

Seven Steps to Louder Living

Personal Branding

Success in the Workplace

Conflict Resolution

Work/Life Balance

Motivation by Example✓

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Relationship Management

Keep getting up and moving forward, every single day, especially if there's at least one person who will be totally pissed off if you do. - @LIFECOACHERS

Look in the mirror in the morning and remind yourself not to be a douche. Then go out and spend the day not being a douche.

You are the most important personal in the world, and don’t let anyone tell you differently unless you suck at life, loser.

At family gatherings, always bring booze. At least if it sucks, you can’t make a concerted effort to blackout.

Peace is the only answer. Unless someone else gets the last donut. Then you can start fucking bitches up. - @LIFECOACHERS

Relationship Management

NEVER doubt yourself. That's what your family is for. -

@LIFECOACHERS

Use this day of rest to spend time with your

family and remind yourself why you

drink. - @LIFECOACHERS

Not being a douche is often an elegant solution. - @LIFECOACHERS

Conflict Resolution

It’s important to set the proper tone when resolving conflict in the workplace. For example, “I swear to god Bob, if you lose another customer I am going to wear your personal brand as a hat.”

We can't move on unless we forgive. So it looks like we'll be staying right fucking here. - @LIFECOACHERS

Conflict Resolution

Always use your social media presence to loudly express strongly politicized views, no matter how inappropriate they are at the moment. - @LIFECOACHERS

Personal Branding

9070302015Klout Score

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Garnter studies show a correlation between orphans eaten and your klout score

Orp

hans

Eat

en Klout!

Start a media empire & name it after yourself. Found a magazine & only feature yourself on the cover each month. Eat one orphan every day. - @LIFECOACHERS

1. A new iPhone is released. 2. Hipsters stand in line all night.3. Now I can’t order a venti soy latte

with extra foam without some asshole in skinny jeans talking on the phone.

Personal Branding

Waiting

AssholesGood Things

All good things may sometimes come to those who wait but mostly they come to assholes who don't deserve them. - @LIFECOACHERS

The key to living a happy life is to stop worrying about others and your impact on their lives. All you need is a bottle of Boones Farm and a warm steel drum fire to find happiness. LIFECOACHERS is that warm drum of happiness.

If you're looking for love it's because you haven't discovered binge drinking. - @LIFECOACHERS

Work/Life Balance

Pine Away

Stop Caring

Discover Whiskey

We all have gifts. The big question in life is how we will waste them before dying alone. - LIFECOACHERS

Work/Life Balance

We all need to invest in others at some point just so we can learn what a big mistake that usually is. - @LIFECOACHERS

Investment

The road to happiness begins with a nap. It pretty much ends there too. - @LIFECOACHERS

Sleep at Your Desk

3Always remember how precious and special you really are, but never forget that your ass can replaced in a fucking heartbeat. - @LIFECOACHERS

Home and Office

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Success in the Workplace

Wake Up

Not Fucking Shit Up

Success

Make it your goal to learn something new each day, like how not to fuck shit up all the time. - @LIFECOACHERS

Success in the Workplace

Wishing people were dead isn't going to get results! Be proactive! - @LIFECOACHERS

Take Advantage of the Moment

You can do anything you set your mind to, as long as it's really easy and only takes like thirty seconds or so. - @LIFECOACHERS

Word Hard

What ever doesn't kill you usually fucks with your lower back. - @LIFECOACHERS

Don’t Be Afraid to Try New Things

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Cast aside the vices you love and embrace the healthy things you loath and live years longer in a state of boredom and misery!

Motivation By Example

And Listen

It's a brave new world and it only grows newer all the time. Be prepared each day to not have a fucking clue what's going on. - @LIFECOACHERS

And Listen

Stressed? Take a deep breath. Hold it. Good. Now you've shut up. God, you're annoying. - @LIFECOACHERS

Shut Up

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Life is nothing without laughter, so review the wreckage of your life today and laugh because that's pretty much all we've got these days. - @LIFECOACHERS

Motivation By Example

When life tries to hand you lemons, ask for limes instead. No one wants lemons in their gin and tonic(s). - @LIFECOACHERS

Drink

It's important to have a good sense of humor right up till someone jokes about something you care about, then it's okay to kick their ass. - @LIFECOACHERS

Fight

3Sleep is crucial to your mental and physical well-being plus it's like a little taste of sweet, sweet death every single night. - @LIFECOACHERS

Sleep

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THROW OUT THE WASHING STICK AND BURST FROM UNDER THE AUTUMN LEAF PILES OF CHIP BAGS AND OWN YOUR BLUBBER, BEAUTIFUL! - @LIFECOACHERS

GET OUT THERE TOMORROW AND TWIST THE NIPPLES OF THE DAY - @LIFECOACHERS

TWEET HARD CORE, LIKE THAT HR GOOGLE SEARCH WON'T FIND YOU TOMORROW, AND KNOW THAT WE LOVE EVERY ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. - @LIFECOACHERS

DON'T STRANGLE MANY PEOPLE TODAY - @LIFECOACHERS

ADD EXTRA GLUTEN EAT ALL THE PEANUTS & SOY WEAR A 3-PIECE SUIT TO OCCUPY STUFF GIVE ANARCHIST SHIT TO TEABAGGERS IT'S YOUR LIFE FUCKERS - @LIFECOACHERS

RUN AROUND LIKE YOU'RE BURNING UP IN FLAMES OF AWESOMENESS unless you're actually on fire in which case you should stop, drop and roll. - @LIFECOACHERS

WASH YOUR BUTT FOR BETTER LIVING. IT'S NOT FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE. - @LIFECOACHERS

Seven Steps to Louder LivingLIVE IN ALL CAPS

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Conclusion

The first step to being a better person is turning off the computer, and we all know that's not happening any time soon. - @LIFECOACHERS

In 2003, the Northeast went dark. People chugged their beer before it skunked and then drank wiskey because you can never be to sure. LIFECOACHERS prepares you for those important decisions. Write that shit down.

QUESTIONS?

FlyoverJoel is not a member of LIFECOACHERS but you can still read his daily musings at https://twitter.com/FlyoverJoel.

@LIFECOACHERS is a collection of Twitter personalities providing you the best life advice you can get on the internet. You can follow them on Twitter at https://twitter.com/lifecoachers or if you aren’t as cool, on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/LIFECOACHERS