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KNOWING ME KNOWING YOU emotional intelligence & personality · Neil Mason ·

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Emotional Intelligence and Personality Types

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Page 1: Knowing Me, Knowing You

KNOWING MEKNOWING YOU

emotional intelligence & personality

· Neil Mason ·

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Seek first to understand … then to be understood.”

Stephen R. Covey

INTRODUCTION ·THERE IS A LOT OF MATERIAL AVAILABLE on the internet, as well as in a number of books which talk about DISC™ and other tools for understanding self and others.Here you will find a compilation of materials — most of which is not my own, but rather a selection of materials I have gathered. Full information can be found in the books listed in the bibliography as well as on numerous websites.Part of my goal is to encourage you to continue on your journey of self-discovery and understanding of others. As well as to introduce you to some tools that might help you to navigate relationships and understand something of why people act the way they do.Personally, I have found it profoundly satisfying to learn and understand more about myself (to become more self-aware) and learn to work more efficiently with those around me, whether they be family, friends, colleagues, or my students.

KNOWING ME, KNOWING YOU will look at two main areas.• Knowing ME · self discovery

— emotional intelligence — learning styles— personality types— DiSC

• Knowing YOU · knowing others— understanding others— personality test (lion, otter, golden retriever, beaver)— people reading and their personality types working with your students understanding different strengths helping students understand themselves helping students understand each other

KNOWING ME · KNOWING YOU

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What is EQ?Some people just know how to get along with others; some people are more self-confident, and some are great at inspiring people. All these require people to be smart about feelings.Emotional intelligence can be applied through a set of learnable skills that include identifying and changing emotions, motivating yourself, and empathizing with another person. Almost anyone can learn the EQ skills to build more successful relationships.For children, EQ helps increase academic success, bolster stronger friendships, and reduce risk behaviors. For adults, EQ skills are critical for career growth, relationships, and for health.

www.6seconds.org/pdf/case_for_EQ_school.pdf

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to understand and manage both your own emotions, and those of the people around you. People with a high degree of emotional intelligence usually know what they're feeling, what this means, and how their emotions can affect other people.For leaders, having emotional intelligence is essential for success. After all, who is more likely to succeed — a leader who shouts at his team when he's under stress, or a leader who stay in control, and calmly assesses the situation?According to Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist who helped make the idea of EI popular, there are five main elements of emotional intelligence:

• Self-awareness• Self-regulation• Motivation• Empathy• Social skills

The more that you, as a leader, manage each of these areas, the higher your emotional intelligence. So, let's look at each element in more detail and examine how you can grow as a leader.www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newCDV_59.htmwww.sddu.leeds.ac.uk/uploaded/learning-teaching-docs/teachtalk/26-2-2010/alan_mortiboys.pdf http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq5_raising_emotional_intelligence.htm

EQ = emotional quotient

· Emotional intelligence

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· Learning StylesFelder · Learning StylesIndex of Learning Styles QuestionnaireBarbara A. SolomanRichard M. Felder

www.engr.ncsu.edu/learningstyles/ilsweb.htmlSolomon-Felder http://tinyurl.com/solomon-felderRichard Felder website: http://tinyurl.com/felder-siteArticle: http://tinyurl.com/felder-silverman In-Depth Analysis of the Felder-Silverman Learning Style Dimensions

Sensing• I tend to remember what I hear, see, taste,

smell and feel.• I am organized and good with facts and details.• I am meticulously slow and sometimes have

difficulty understanding theoretical concepts that are not grounded in the real world.

• I have some perfectionist tendencies.

Intuitive• I see endless possibilities and sometimes

have difficulty getting started on papers because I have so many ideas.

• I am creative and innovative.• I am sometimes careless with details and

bored with repetition.

Visual• I remember best what I see.• I prefer teachers who write a lot on the board

rather than those who just talk a lot.• When I get directions to a new place, I prefer

to be given a map than written instructions.

Verbal• I remember best what I hear or read.• I sometimes have difficulty understanding

graphs and diagrams.• I need to talk or write about ideas to really

understand them.

Active• I learn best by talking about the information

in some way or testing it out in a practical setting.

• I excel in group work.• I sometimes act impulsively without thinking

about the possible consequences.

Reflective• I learn best by carefully thinking through

a problem or issue before doing anything.• I am an independent learner, able to

concentrate well and think things through thoroughly.

• I dislike working in groups.

Sequential• I learn best in a logical, step by step manner.• I must complete one thing before moving on

to another.• If I get stuck on one thing, I have difficulty

moving on to other things.

Global• I learn in large leaps – all of a sudden,

“I get it!”• I need to understand the entire picture before

I can make sense of the details.• I learn by connecting material to prior

knowledge and experience.

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· William MarstonWILLIAM MOULTON MARSTONWilliam Moulton Marston's life story is an interesting one—filled with accomplishments that at first seem totally unrelated. He was a lawyer, a psychologist, invented the first functional lie detector polygraph, created the DISC model for emotions and behavior of normal people, authored self-help books and created the Wonder Woman comic.

The Lie Detector - Marston's Earliest Professional YearsHaving discovered a correspondence between blood pressure and lying, he built a device to measure changes in a person's blood pressure while the subject was being questioned. Marston formally published his early polygraph findings in 1917 on the lie detection invention he first constructed in 1915.During the 1920s and 30s Marston was an active lecturer and consulted with government groups. Unlike many psychologists of the time, he was more interested in the behavior of the general population of people rather than abnormal psychology.He gained the attention of the federal government for his research. He also sought the attention of the courts and the public by publishing widely and seeking publicity. Following the Lindbergh kidnapping in the 1930s, Marston offered his services to the Lindbergh family.Psychology, Emotions and BehaviorMarston's DISC modelIn the early 20s Marston's work continued to be significant in the courts and legal system; however, it evolved in 1924 when he first studied the concepts of will and a person's sense of power and their effect on personality and human behavior. His work in consciousness, colors, primary emotions and bodily symptoms also contributed greatly to the field of psychology. The picture on the left shows Marston researching Emotions of Normal People, the 1928 book which formally presenting his findings. He published a second book, DISC, Integrative Psychology, in 1931.DISC came, by design, from Marston's search for measurements of the energy of behavior and consciousness. Marston did not develop an assessment or test from his model, although others later did. He did, however, apply his model and theory in the real world when he consulted with Universal Studios in 1930 to help them transition from melodramatic silent pictures to movies with audio.

www.discprofile.com

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KNOWING ME· self-discovery ·

understand your strengthsunderstand your weaknesses

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Marston’s Model

Perceives Self as More Powerful than the Environment

CONSCIENTIOUSNESS

DOMINANCE

STEADINESS

INFLUENCE

Perceives an Unfavorable Environment

Perceives a Favorable Environment

Perceives Self as Less Powerful than the Environment

FAST PACED

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What is DISC?

DOMINANCEDirective and Decisive. Ds are strong willed, strong minded people who like accepting challenges, taking action, and getting immediate results.

INFLUENCEInteractive, Optimistic and Outgoing. Is are “people people” who like participating on teams, sharing ideas, and energizing and entertaining others.

STEADINESSSympathetic and Cooperative.Ss are helpful people who like working behind the scenes, performing in consistent and predictable ways, and being good listeners.

CONSCIENTIOUSNESSConcerned and Correct.Cs are sticklers for quality and like planning ahead, employing systematic approaches, and checking and re-checking for accuracy.

www.profileprof.com

DiSC is an acronym for the four main personality types as described by Dr. Marston:  Dominance relates to control, power and assertivenessInfluence relates to social situations and communicationSteadiness relates to patience, persistence, and thoughtfulnessConscientiousness relates to structure and organization

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DISC Personality ProfilesDOMINANCE: People who score high in the intensity of the “D” styles factor are very active in dealing with problems and challenges, while low “D” scores are people who want to do more research before committing to a decision. High “D” people are described as demanding, forceful, egocentric, strong willed, driving, determined, ambitious, aggressive, and pioneering. Low D scores describe those who are conservative, low keyed, cooperative, calculating, undemanding, cautious, mild, agreeable, modest and peaceful. INFLUENCE: People with high “I” scores influence others through talking and activity and tend to be emotional. They are described as convincing, magnetic, political, enthusiastic, persuasive, warm, demonstrative, trusting, and optimistic. Those with low “I” scores influence more by data and facts, and not with feelings. They are described as reflective, factual, calculating, skeptical, logical, suspicious, matter of fact, pessimistic, and critical. STEADINESS: People with high “S” styles scores want a steady pace, security, and do not like sudden change. High “S” individuals are calm, relaxed, patient, possessive, predictable, deliberate, stable, consistent, and tend to be unemotional and poker faced. Low “S” intensity scores are those who like change and variety. People with low “S” scores are described as restless, demonstrative, impatient, eager, or even impulsive.CONSCIENTIOUSNESS: People with high “C” styles adhere to rules, regulations, and structure. They like to do quality work and do it right the first time. High “C” people are careful, cautious, exacting, neat, systematic, diplomatic, accurate, and tactful. Those with low “C” scores challenge the rules and want independence and are described as self-willed, stubborn, opinionated, unsystematic, arbitrary, and unconcerned with details.

www.onlinedisc.com/educator.htm

!KNOWING ME . KNOWING YOU

Dominant

Driving

Doer

Inspiring

Interesting

Interactive

Supportive

Steady

Stable

Cautious

Competent

Careful

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High Emotional Intelligence

Low Emotional Intelligence

AmbitionDrivingStrong-willedDecisive

WarmEnthusiasticSociableCharmingPersuasive

PatientStablePredictableConsistentGood Listener

Detailed CarefulMeticulousSystematicNeat

AggressiveDemandingEgotisticalBossyConfrontational

Easily DistractedGlibSelfishPoor ListenerImpulsive

Resistant to ChangePassiveUn-ResponsiveSlowStubborn

CriticalPickyFussyHard to PleasePerfectionist

D i S C

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Theme SongTheme SongTheme SongTheme Song

My Way D I Celebration

Don’t Rain on my Parade C S People

CarCarCarCar

Tank D I Sports Car

Volvo C S Mini van

Tends to do things Tends to do things Tends to do things Tends to do things

Rapidly D I Enthusiastically

Precisely C S Patiently

When Making DecisionsWhen Making DecisionsWhen Making DecisionsWhen Making Decisions

Decisive D I Spontaneous

Deliberate C S Collaborative

Likes the Environment to BeLikes the Environment to BeLikes the Environment to BeLikes the Environment to Be

Businesslike D I Playful

Methodical C S Calm

“Seek first to understand…then to be understood.”

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Dominance InfluenceBarack Obama Hillary Clinton George W. Bush John F. KennedyMichael Jordan

Margaret Thatcher

MottoCharge! / Follow Me!

Just Do It!

READY – FIRE – AIM

Bill Clinton Rosanne Barr

Ellen DegeneresWill Smith

Robin WilliamsOprah Winfrey

MottoDon’t Worry, Be Happy!

Have Fun Doing It!

FIRE – FIRE – FIRE

Conscientiousness SteadinessKevin Costner

Bill GatesMeryl Streep

Albert EinsteinJackie Kennedy Onassis

Motto“C.Y.A” (Cover your A**)

Do it Right – The First Time!

AIM – AIM – AIM

Michael J FoxMother Teresa

GandhiPrincess Diana Jimmy Carter

MottoIf You Fail to Plan, You Plan to Fail.”

Do it Together!

READY – READY – READY

Leaders &Celebrities

http://onlinediscprofile.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/disc-styles-of-famous-people.html

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DISC

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KNOWING YOU·working with your students·

understanding different strengthshelping students understand themselveshelping students understand each other

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Knowing Me, Knowing You … Ação de Formação 2013 · NEIL MASON · Porto Editora

Back in 1940, a man by the name of George Reavis, who was superintendent of the Cincinnati Public Schools, wrote a fable. It’s c a l l e d “ ! e A n i m a l School,” and it’s now in the public domain.

NCE UPON A TIME the animals of the forest de c ide d the y should become better educated

so they could deal with the problems of a changing world. !ey hired a consultant whose final report urged them to form a unified school district. An election was held and a rabbit, a squirrel, a duck, and an eagle were elected. In the first school board meeting the new members discussed the curriculum. Of course, each one had their own ideas about which subjects would be taught. After a great deal of discussion, they adopted an activity curriculum of running, climbing, swimming and flying. To make it easier to administer the curriculum, all students would be required to take every subject.

In the beginning, the duck was excellent in swimming; in fact, he was better than the instructor. However, in the rest of the classes it was a di"erent story. !e duck got average grades in flying, failed the climbing class and was very poor in running. In fact, running caused his webbed feet to become so sore that eventually he became only average in swimming. But average was quite acceptable, so nobody worried about that, except the duck.!e rabbit started at the top of

his class in running, but soon developed cramps in his leg muscles because of so much make-up work in swimming. Before long he couldn't run as fast as he had before he started school. But that was all right with everyone, except the rabbit.

As you would guess, the squirrel was excellent at climbing. However, he got so beaten up from jumping out of trees while trying to learn how to fly, that he didn't have the energy or the strength to climb like

before. Because of this di#culty, he only got a "B" in climbing and a "C" in running. !ese were passing grades, but he remembered the good old days when he was the best climber.!e eagle was a problem student

from the beginning and was severely disciplined for being a non-conformist. In climbing class he beat all the others to the top of the tree but he insisted on using his own way to get there. !e running coach accused him of not even trying. After swimming practice, his feathers were so wet, he couldn't fly for hours, so the duck got better grades for flying than the eagle did. !e great symbol of America was being humiliated, and it hurt.

A duck is a duck and only a duck. It is built to swim and to fly a little from one lake to another. !ey don't run very well, and they can't climb at all. If God made you a duck, don't compare yourself to an eagle. Just swim like mad and enjoy your uniqueness. Rabbits have the abil ity to change speed and direction better than most other animals. !at is a very desirable ability when you have a non-aggressive personality and want to stay alive in a hostile world. What would this world be like without bunny rabbits? A squirrel is a squirrel and only that. It is almost unchallenged in climbing, because it was made for climbing. To expect a squirrel to swim or fly will drive that squirrel nuts.!e moral of the story is simple.

Each creature has its own abilities at which it will naturally excel, unless of course, it is expected to do something for which it wasn't designed. When that happens, frustration, discouragement, and guilt bring overall mediocrity or sometimes even complete defeat.

O!

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How did you do? Remember this isn’t a pass-fail test. This evaluation simply shows your tendencies and traits. As you look at your charted score, you may see a blend of all four categories. That’s fine. Or you may see two scores significantly higher than the others. Or you may have one category that’s head and shoulders above the other three. No none pattern is “correct.”Now take note of the right-hand column extreme for each of your circled characteristics. This might be how your positive traits are perceived by your family or friends.

How to Take and Score the Inventory1. For each temperament type, circle the positive traits (in the

LEFT column) that sound the most like you – as you are at home. It will probably help to cover the right hand column as you take the inventory, to help you focus on the positives.

2. Ignore the RIGHT hand (negatives) column — for now.3. For each trait, add up the number of circled traits (in the LEFT

column) and then DOUBLE that number. This is your score.4. To graph your temperament “mix”, mark your score for each

temperament type on the graph with a large dot. If you want, draw a line to connect the dots.

Lion OtterGolden

Retriever Beaver

40 40

35 35

30 30

25 25

20 20

15 15

10 10

5 5

0 0

example

Likes authority

Confident

FirmEnjoys challenges

Problem solver

BoldGoal driven

Strong willed

Self reliant

Persistent

Takes charge

Determined

Enterprising

Competitive

Productive

Purposeful

Adventurous

Independent

Controlling

Action oriented

“Let's do it now!”Lion Score (2 x ☑) ______

LION

http://tinyurl.com/gary-smalley

www3.dub.edu/jeanhumphreys/SocialPsych/leytrentpersonality.htm

Enthusiastic

Visionary

Energetic

Promoter

Mixes easily

Fun-loving

Spontaneous

Creative-new ideas

Optimistic

Infectious laughter

Takes Risks

Motivator

Very verbal

Friendly

Enjoys popularity

Likes variety

Enjoys change

Group oriented

Initiator

Inspirational

“Trust me! It'll work out!”Otter Score (2 x ☑) ______

OTTER

Sensitive feelings Calm Non-demanding

Avoids confrontations

Enjoys routine Warm and relational

Adaptable ThoughtfulPatientGood listener

LoyalEven keeled Gives in Indecisive Dislikes change Dry humor Sympathetic

Nurturing TolerantPeace maker“Let's keep things the way they are ”

Retriever Score (2 x ☑) ______

GOLDEN RETRIEVER

http://tinyurl.com/gary-smalley

www3.dub.edu/jeanhumphreys/SocialPsych/leytrentpersonality.htm

Enjoys instructions Consistent ReservedPracticalFactual Perfectionistic

Detailed Inquisitive Persistent Sensitive

Accurate Controlled Predictable Orderly Conscientious Discerning Analytical Precise Scheduled Deliberate

“How was it done in the past?”

Beaver Score (2 x ☑) ______

BEAVER

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Likes authority ConfidentFirmEnjoys challenges Problem solver BoldGoal driven Strong willed Self reliant Persistent

Takes charge Determined Enterprising Competitive Productive Purposeful Adventurous Independent Controlling Action oriented

“Let’s do it now!”

Lion Score (2 x ☑) ______

LION

Enthusiastic Visionary Energetic PromoterMixes easily Fun-loving Spontaneous Creative-new ideasOptimistic Infectious laughter

Takes Risks MotivatorVery verbal FriendlyEnjoys popularityLikes variety Enjoys change Group oriented Initiator Inspirational

“Trust me! It’ll work out!”

Otter Score (2 x ☑) ______

OTTER

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Sensitive feelings Calm Non-demanding Avoids confrontationsEnjoys routine Warm and relational Adaptable ThoughtfulPatientGood listener

LoyalEven keeled Gives in Indecisive Dislikes change Dry humor Sympathetic Nurturing TolerantPeace maker

“Let’s keep things the way they are.”

Retriever Score (2 x ✓) ______

GOLDEN RETRIEVER

Enjoys instructions Consistent ReservedPracticalFactual Perfectionistic Detailed Inquisitive Persistent Sensitive

Accurate Controlled Predictable Orderly Conscientious Discerning Analytical Precise Scheduled Deliberate

“How was it done in the past?”

Beaver Score (2 x ✓) ______

BEAVER

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There are a number of sites online to take a DiSC™ personality test. Many of them will cost a little money if you want a report. Or you might like to try IDISC™If you are interested in getting deeper into your personality type, you may want to try the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator MBTI™

On the next pages you will find another simple option you may like to use with your students — it is easy to remember the four types.

Here is an online version: http://www.attitude.org.nz/home/swf/personality_test.swf · http://tinyurl.com/smalley-test

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Otters are very social creatures. Otter personalities love people. They enjoy being popular and influencing and motivating others. Otters are sometimes hurt when people do not like them. Otter personalities usually have lots of friends, but not deep relationships. They love to goof-off. (They are notorious for messy rooms.) Otters like to hurry and finish jobs. (Jobs are not often done well.) The otter personality is like Tigger’s in Winnie The Pooh.

Strength: People person, open, positiveWeakness: Talks too much, too permissiveLimitation: Remembering past commitments, follow through with discipline.

Beavers are very organized. Beavers think that there is a right way to do everything and they want to do it exactly that way. Beaver personalities are very creative. They desire to solve everything and desire to take their time and do it right. Beavers do not like sudden changes. They need reassurance.

Strength: High standards, order, respectWeakness: Unrealistic expectations of self and others, too perfect Limitation: Seeing the optimistic side of things, expressing flexibility.

Lions like to lead. The lion is good at making decisions and is very goal-oriented. He enjoys challenges, difficult assignments, and opportunity for advancement. Because l ions are thinking of the goal, they can step on people to reach it. Lions can be very aggressive and competitive. Lions must learn not to be too bossy or to take charge in others’ affairs.

Strength: Goal-oriented, strong, directWeakness: Argumentative, too dictatorialLimitation: Doesn't understand that directness can hurt others; hard time expressing grace.

Golden Retriever are great at makingfriends. They are very loyal. Retriever personalities do not like big changes. They look for security and can be very sensitive. Retrievers are very caring and have deep relationships, but usually have only a couple of close friends. A golden retriever wants to be loved by everyone. He looks for appreciation and works best in a limited situation with a steady work pattern.

Strength: Accommodating, calm, affirmingWeakness: Indecisive, indifferent, unable to express emotions, too soft on other peopleLimitation: Seeing the need to be more assertive, holding others accountable.

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BibliographyBOOKS

Baron, R. — What Type Am I? Discover who you really are. Penguin 1998.

Boyd, C. F. — Different Children, Different Needs. Multnomah Books, Penguin, 2004.

Bradberry, T. — The Personality Code. G.P. Putnam’s Sons, Penguin Group, 2007.

Bradbury, T.; Greaves J. — Emotional Intelligence 2.0. Talentsmart, 2009.

Dweck, C. — Mindset— The New Psychology of Success. Ballantine Books, 2006.

Rohm, R. A. — Tales out of school. Personality Insights, Inc. 1995, 2001.

Rojas, E. – Não te rendas! Como vencer a adversidade com maturidade e inteligência. Matéria Prima Edições, 2012.

Straw, J. — The 4-Dimensional Manager, Inscape Publishing, 2002.

ONLINE

6seconds.org — The Case for Emotional Intelligence. Sixseconds, The Emotional Intelligence Network. www.6seconds.org/case

Felder, R. M.; Solomon, B.A. — Index of Learning Styles Questionnaire www.engr.ncsu.edu/learningstyles/ilsweb.html

Graf, S.; Viola, S. R.; Leo T. — In-Depth Analysis of the Felder-Silverman Learning Style Dimensions, Journal of Research on Technology in Education http://wit.at/people/graf/publications/graf_viola_kinshuk_leo_JRTEjournal.pdf

Helpguide.org — Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Five Key Skills for Raising Emotional Intelligence www.helpguide.org/mental/eq5_raising_emotional_intelligence.htm

MindTolls.com — Emotional Intelligence: Developing Strong "People Skills" www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newCDV_59.htm

Mortiboys, A. — Teaching with Emotional Intelligence www.sddu.leeds.ac.uk/uploaded/learning-teaching-docs/teachtalk/26-2-2010/alan_mortiboys.pdf easy link: http://tinyurl.com/teachingwithEQ

Smalley, G. — Gary Smalley Personality Types Inventory www3.dbu.edu/jeanhumphreys/SocialPsych/smalleytrentpersonality.htm

ONLINE

DiSC Styles of Famous People http://onlinediscprofile.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/disc-styles-of-famous-people.html

DiSC® by Inscape www.inscapepublishing.com

Smalley online test www.attitude.org.nz/home/swf/personality_test.swf

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